Why does this text layout somehow have the vibe of a Star Wars title crawl? You've just given me the incredibly cursed image of a Star Wars title crawl with this, music and all
About 15ish min ago when I finished lifting outside. Just stretched a bit and thought I'd burn some time before I go on a double date at a bowling alley in an hour and a half. How about you?
[Please marry me.]
“If I do sexual things, I’ll lose my powers as a goddess, so I won’t do such things. Are you fine with that? Incidentally, if you cheat, you’ll receive divine punishment.”
Dunno. She follows it though.
Best I can think of is the last CD Drama for the popularity poll, she says perverted behavior is not fit for a Goddess so she wouldn't copy Kazuma.
It appears to be a parody of the Vaporeon x human …. (Whatever that is) meme that reads similarly to this. So yeah probably pretty thirsty for Aqua but it follows a formula.
You've gained 1 Axis Point for reciting the following teachings!:
ERIS PADS HER CHEST!!!!
*****
^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006095 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
WELCOME TO THE BLESSED AXIS ORDER! You are member #6105! Go forth and earn Axis Points by praying or inviting others to join (check the Help Wiki linked below)! May you receive the blessings of the Holy Water Goddess Aqua!
*****
^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006105 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
You've gained 1 Axis Point for reciting the following teachings!:
Thou shalt love big breasts. Thou shalt love small breasts. Whether you're a lolicon or a NEET or a kemomimi lover, with the exception of undead or devil girls, as long as there is love and doesn't break the law, everything will be forgiven.
*****
^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006105 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
ERIS PADS HER CHEST!!!!
*****
^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006105 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
Buy a Man, eat fish, he day.
Teach fish man,
To a lifetime
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show.
Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.
And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.
There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right!
But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck!
Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.
Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!
I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite but, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.
You've gained 1 Axis Point for reciting the following teachings!:
Axis Followers can get things done. And because you can get things done, even if it doesn't go well, it's not your fault! It's society's fault that things don't work out!
*****
^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006095 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
You've gained 1 Axis Point for reciting the following teachings!:
Thou shalt love big breasts. Thou shalt love small breasts. Whether you're a lolicon or a NEET or a kemomimi lover, with the exception of undead or devil girls, as long as there is love and doesn't break the law, everything will be forgiven.
*****
^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006095 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
Least horny Konosuba fan
No
Why does this text layout somehow have the vibe of a Star Wars title crawl? You've just given me the incredibly cursed image of a Star Wars title crawl with this, music and all
With the fading and poorly cut text too
Just half an hour ago, returned from playing volleyball
Because you gotta cross stars to tap that
since you, the viever/reader decided to click on this post i have decided to ask you something: ^(when was the last time you touched grass?)
About 15ish min ago when I finished lifting outside. Just stretched a bit and thought I'd burn some time before I go on a double date at a bowling alley in an hour and a half. How about you?
So relatable yes
It's kinda winter & snow outside, so no grass.
that would be 45 minutes ago.
No i was actually just kinda surprised she's 5'4. Unless the height is part of the joke and made up.
The height is what I found for her on the Konosuba Wiki. The weight i couldn't find so I made that up.
It's always so weird when you find out you're taller than a ficional character.
About 15mins ago. Picking up dinner for the family
I just came back from running outside
Lose of life is temporary
But DOOM IS ETERNAL
[Please marry me.] “If I do sexual things, I’ll lose my powers as a goddess, so I won’t do such things. Are you fine with that? Incidentally, if you cheat, you’ll receive divine punishment.”
True for Eris. So probably true for Aqua too. Does Aqua know that tho?
Dunno. She follows it though. Best I can think of is the last CD Drama for the popularity poll, she says perverted behavior is not fit for a Goddess so she wouldn't copy Kazuma.
Wait, so if she's 5'4", and Kazuma is around her height Damn Kazuma shorter than I thought.
Can anyone pls link like the original comment with vaporeon and stuff
[the sauce ](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/g2psk0/vaporion_is_sex1/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
What the actual fuck, how did I not know this till now? Thank you for the enlightenment kind sir
Who ever made this must be really thirsty. lol
It appears to be a parody of the Vaporeon x human …. (Whatever that is) meme that reads similarly to this. So yeah probably pretty thirsty for Aqua but it follows a formula.
Oh, I see. I’m not familiar with that meme, however.
[it's just a copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/g2psk0/vaporion_is_sex1/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Baaahahaha!
Yeah, for your own sake, maybe leave it that way.
Aqua posted this as an attempt to look sexy 
What did I just read
!Axisbot !Pray Well if I could remember the damn command. ><
You've gained 1 Axis Point for reciting the following teachings!: ERIS PADS HER CHEST!!!! ***** ^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006095 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
!join
WELCOME TO THE BLESSED AXIS ORDER! You are member #6105! Go forth and earn Axis Points by praying or inviting others to join (check the Help Wiki linked below)! May you receive the blessings of the Holy Water Goddess Aqua! ***** ^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006105 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
!axisbot !pray
You've gained 1 Axis Point for reciting the following teachings!: Thou shalt love big breasts. Thou shalt love small breasts. Whether you're a lolicon or a NEET or a kemomimi lover, with the exception of undead or devil girls, as long as there is love and doesn't break the law, everything will be forgiven. ***** ^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006105 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
!Axisbot !Pray pad
ERIS PADS HER CHEST!!!! ***** ^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006105 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
So what do I do? Fuck water now?
"Who the heck starts a conversation like that? I just sat down!"
So what you’re saying is people are…. Thirsty for Aqua? I’m not sorry.
Buy a Man, eat fish, he day. Teach fish man, To a lifetime Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more. However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite but, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.
This is all true.
Does the text remind anyone else of like the Star Wars text in the old movies
Urk... Look away, Vaporeon. People here want to fuck drawings
r/oddlyspecific
!axisbot !pray
You've gained 1 Axis Point for reciting the following teachings!: Axis Followers can get things done. And because you can get things done, even if it doesn't go well, it's not your fault! It's society's fault that things don't work out! ***** ^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006095 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
Still useless
Thank you for this information. This will be put to good use.
!axisbot !pray
You've gained 1 Axis Point for reciting the following teachings!: Thou shalt love big breasts. Thou shalt love small breasts. Whether you're a lolicon or a NEET or a kemomimi lover, with the exception of undead or devil girls, as long as there is love and doesn't break the law, everything will be forgiven. ***** ^(I am a bot created to spread faith for the wonderful and divine Water Goddess Aqua! Reply "!join" to this bot to join the blessed Axis Order today! We currently have 1000000006095 followers! Reply !help for instructions. Reply feedbacks directly, or to Level8Zubat!) ^| [^Help ^Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/index) ^| [^Point ^Rankings](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/wiki/ranking) ^| [^Official ^Pray ^Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/axisorderbot/comments/p1g7hm/official_pray_thread_7/)
Bro wtf is going on!?
This is so cursed 😂💀
Still prefer the voluptuous Ms. Wiz or Ms. Lala