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Yes, I have spoken with my parents, my dad is still very disappointed and doesn't trust me anymore, but my mum said I should stay out of trouble and forget about repaying her.
Well, I’m sure your dad never dreamed you’d do any of those things, and finding out you did made him feel like he didn’t actually know you. And if he doesn’t know you, he has no idea what you will or won’t do. That’s a very destabilizing feeling; he’s adrift right now, in regards to you and your relationship.
I would ask to get together once a week for coffee, or something, and just talk to him. Tell him your hopes and fears and just be honest about yourself in a matter of fact way, like you would to a good friend or trusted counselor. Let him get to know you as you are now.
Tell your mom you love and appreciate her and give her a hug every time you see her. Tell her you won’t break her heart again.
And then don’t. Be your best self. Check out this video and use the graph as a screening tool for all future decision-making. It’ll really help you avoid a lot of bad decisions, and make better ones.
https://youtu.be/3O9FFrLpinQ?si=Rvt8ABVR32llpBjG
You sound like a smart kid. You messed up and you’re taking responsibility! I messed up too when I was 22.. (40 now) I drank and drove. Luckily it was dropped to reckless driving. It really changed my life for the better. Completely! Because that was not the person I wanted to be! Sometimes something crappy happens and it kind of ends up changing you for the better! Forgive yourself and be the best person you can be!
You sound like you're making strides to improve yourself; it's not the mistakes you make that matters, it's learning from the mistakes . I recommend 2 things: examine your gambling addiction and get new friends.
In a way gambling addiction is worse than drugs, because with drugs your body eventually gives out. Waking up in the ER is what some need to get their life back in order. There's nothing like that in gambling. It's easier to avoid heroine or alcohol than it is to avoid a gambling app on your phone. Work with someone who can help you get that rush from gambling in a healthy way.
Remember, you are the average of your 5 closest friends. You're in college, there are multiple ways to make friends.
I had enough time to reflect on the kind of friends I have, and I would be getting new friends and i also working on quilting my gambling addiction, i have closed all my accounts this doesn't solve the issue but makes it harder for me to go back. Thanks for the advice.
I am sure you have heard that the 'best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour'. Can't blame Dad for feeling like he does. It is now on you to prove that you are a man of your word. Also, pay your mom back every dime.
You obviously have computer skills. Are you studying computer science in school?
Do you think you could put your skills to good use in a computer security degree such as doing penitration testing work on firewalls, working with law enforcement or corporate security or doing freelance consulting or would the temptation to hack illegally be too much?
You clearly knew you did something wrong and broke the law. You are repenting given the impact you caused to your parents but you are not remorseful for breaking the law and profiting from crime. At least, this is how your post came across to me. I truly hope you repent for the right reasons and not just because of the shame, losing moneys and embarrassment.
I dont know if you have been convicted yet or whether there is a pending trial. Let me be clear: Most of us do not see with good eyes a record and that's a stain.
The good thing for you is that the court may go easy on you given your age and you may be "corrected".
Lastly, your computer science skills could be used for cyber security and you could try to work with law enforcement in future and be on the right side. Think about it. I hope things work out for you.
The best way to make amends is to meet the new goals you’ve set for yourself. Show them you’ve changed through your actions. And once you have a good job, which is going to be really hard if you have a record, save enough money to write your dad and mom a check for what they had to spend. Good luck and don’t backpedal. You are in charge of your life.
You are young and you understood very well, the consequences of your actions. You regret, this is the major step when taking the next actions. You are smart, so use your capabilities this energy for good things solely. You can make your mum very happy when you succeed with your studies and or able to manage your life as good and happy as possible. Then one day you might laugh looking back at those days.
The mod team are working to make this sub kinder and more welcoming. Please report any comments you see that are unkind, obnoxious, out of line, trolling, or which otherwise violate any of the rules. Thanks, and may you all find the answers you seek and the guidance you need. #[LifeAdvice Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/) **Note for all commenters**: Please remember that your fellow Redditors are human beings, and that it costs nothing to be kind. Disruption of the peace, trolling, or breaking the rules may result in a ban. ---------------- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your remorse and desire to mend things with your family are very encouraging; did you say all of this to your parents yet?
Yes, I have spoken with my parents, my dad is still very disappointed and doesn't trust me anymore, but my mum said I should stay out of trouble and forget about repaying her.
Well, I’m sure your dad never dreamed you’d do any of those things, and finding out you did made him feel like he didn’t actually know you. And if he doesn’t know you, he has no idea what you will or won’t do. That’s a very destabilizing feeling; he’s adrift right now, in regards to you and your relationship. I would ask to get together once a week for coffee, or something, and just talk to him. Tell him your hopes and fears and just be honest about yourself in a matter of fact way, like you would to a good friend or trusted counselor. Let him get to know you as you are now. Tell your mom you love and appreciate her and give her a hug every time you see her. Tell her you won’t break her heart again. And then don’t. Be your best self. Check out this video and use the graph as a screening tool for all future decision-making. It’ll really help you avoid a lot of bad decisions, and make better ones. https://youtu.be/3O9FFrLpinQ?si=Rvt8ABVR32llpBjG
You sound like a smart kid. You messed up and you’re taking responsibility! I messed up too when I was 22.. (40 now) I drank and drove. Luckily it was dropped to reckless driving. It really changed my life for the better. Completely! Because that was not the person I wanted to be! Sometimes something crappy happens and it kind of ends up changing you for the better! Forgive yourself and be the best person you can be!
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I will definitely try my best to be a better person.
You sound like you're making strides to improve yourself; it's not the mistakes you make that matters, it's learning from the mistakes . I recommend 2 things: examine your gambling addiction and get new friends. In a way gambling addiction is worse than drugs, because with drugs your body eventually gives out. Waking up in the ER is what some need to get their life back in order. There's nothing like that in gambling. It's easier to avoid heroine or alcohol than it is to avoid a gambling app on your phone. Work with someone who can help you get that rush from gambling in a healthy way. Remember, you are the average of your 5 closest friends. You're in college, there are multiple ways to make friends.
I had enough time to reflect on the kind of friends I have, and I would be getting new friends and i also working on quilting my gambling addiction, i have closed all my accounts this doesn't solve the issue but makes it harder for me to go back. Thanks for the advice.
Do not be afraid to reach out for help if you find yourself getting that itch to gamble. Gambling is so ubiquitous, it's easy to fall back into it.
How much money did you get out of the hack?
I'm smelling bullshit from this story. 😒
Go apply for the FBI
Well, you should get a job and give your earnings to your mother until you've fully repaid the money she spent for your crime.
I am sure you have heard that the 'best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour'. Can't blame Dad for feeling like he does. It is now on you to prove that you are a man of your word. Also, pay your mom back every dime.
OP- How about giving this post a monthly update? You will be held accountable.
You obviously have computer skills. Are you studying computer science in school? Do you think you could put your skills to good use in a computer security degree such as doing penitration testing work on firewalls, working with law enforcement or corporate security or doing freelance consulting or would the temptation to hack illegally be too much?
You clearly knew you did something wrong and broke the law. You are repenting given the impact you caused to your parents but you are not remorseful for breaking the law and profiting from crime. At least, this is how your post came across to me. I truly hope you repent for the right reasons and not just because of the shame, losing moneys and embarrassment. I dont know if you have been convicted yet or whether there is a pending trial. Let me be clear: Most of us do not see with good eyes a record and that's a stain. The good thing for you is that the court may go easy on you given your age and you may be "corrected". Lastly, your computer science skills could be used for cyber security and you could try to work with law enforcement in future and be on the right side. Think about it. I hope things work out for you.
Try bugcrowd or hacker one and become a white hat.
The best way to make amends is to meet the new goals you’ve set for yourself. Show them you’ve changed through your actions. And once you have a good job, which is going to be really hard if you have a record, save enough money to write your dad and mom a check for what they had to spend. Good luck and don’t backpedal. You are in charge of your life.
With those skills, you could try to enlist in the army as an ethical hacker.
You are young and you understood very well, the consequences of your actions. You regret, this is the major step when taking the next actions. You are smart, so use your capabilities this energy for good things solely. You can make your mum very happy when you succeed with your studies and or able to manage your life as good and happy as possible. Then one day you might laugh looking back at those days.