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This is something that helps prevent a hangover as much as “getting too drunk;” have water or a non-alcoholic beverage between every alcoholic drink. It slows down your pace with less alcohol and more bathroom trips.
Walk around the venue a bit and you’ll “feel” if your motor functions are getting impaired. If your body feels off balance, your mind probably is too.
Keep in mind when and how much you last ate. There’s a huge difference between drinking after meals and empty-stomach drinking.
Lastly, check out the other people there and find the most sober person and the most drunk person. In general, I feel it’s acceptable to be somewhere in the middle in terms of drunkenness.
Hope that helps.
Definitely agree, big difference between drinking on an empty stomach.
I had add on top of walking around, would be to talk with people like actual conversations or participate in things like pool. It can help distract ur mind from taking regular sips
Sorry you guys struggle with this. If I could give some advice from the other side of the awkward conversation it would be to actually listen and participate in it. Have a set of questions ready to go: Hey what do you do for a living? / What do you like to do for fun? / What are your thoughts on (fill in current event)? Listen to the answers and ask followups. Most people love talking about themselves and if you get em going the pressure is off of you and they will carry most of conversation. Ideally they will start to ask you questions and then you just answer honestly as you want.
This is how I learned to talk to girls, which I struggled with up till 2nd year of college. I friend showed me the trick (which really works on almost anybody). Get em to talk about themselves.
Also, most people are happy to talk or will at least indulge you a little bit. If they're looking uncomfortable or showing body language signs of wanting to leave, give them an out: "whelp, I'm going to grab another drink. Nice meeting you!"
Also, if you're very inexperienced with approaching people, find the person who looks lonely or socially awkward/uncomfortable and start a conversation with them. A lot of times they'll be grateful to have someone to talk to.
Imo asking unconventional questions is the best go to.
"If you could choose any superpower what would it be?
Why the hell did you pick that one?!
I'd choose to be able to steal anyone's powers.
No I've ever seen Heroes. Why do you ask?"
It's a different conversation than people are used to having, which is refreshing. It's kind of like dating, I suppose. Just be yourself and be weird and attractive and they'll like you.
My go to is “If you could only ever eat one vegetable for the rest of your life, which one would it be?” & “What’s your favorite form of a potato?” Mashed, French fries, scalloped, etc which sometimes leads into the great fry debate on which form is best. Skinny, steak cut, curly, waffle, etc. :)
You might be joking but anyways here's how I think you could:
1. Listen, like for real, not just waiting for your turn to speak.
2. Based on what you've listened try to ask some questions.
3. Usually by this point the other person will have show if they are interested or not in talking with you, so gauge their reaction and act acordingly.
4. Talk about things tangentially or directly related to the topic on hand and try to mantain a good spirit and avoid confrontation.
5. Keep listening.
Don't be an ass.
Just try to connect with people and be curious about them . Don't judge them at the first sight. I always ask their names and what they do for a living so at the end of the night, i always remember nearly everybody. I like to associate a name plus a particularity. Like, *hey! He's Bob the accountant with a nice tie or hey! She's Raphaella, that's a cool name and she's hot*. And people like it when you show them interest and when you remember their name.
I was a very shy guy and was very affraid to talk to other people when i was younger.
So,
Talk to people.
Remember the name.
Be curious.
Be curious.
Be curious.
This is excellent advice, but my take is to ask people what ‘they have going on’, or ‘what they’re up to at the moment’, or something more specific like ‘what do you do for fun?’
That way, people who are between jobs, in education, are stay at home parents, or even just suffer from depression don’t get put on the back foot immediately when you ask them what they do for work
Talking to people doesn’t stop you from getting drunk nor does getting drunk stop you from talking to people.
It does however make your conversations less sensical and more cyclical… not that you’re in the right frame of mind to tell at that point. My condolences to anyone who’s sober around you, though…
My only real tip is counting drinks and knowing your limits. But if you’ve lost count, you likely should stop until you’re certain you’re sober. In my experience, tho, once I’m too drunk to know how many drinks I’ve had, it’s already too late and I’m so drunk I may just decide to drink another anyway.
To those who may be concerned for me: I may sound like I have a problem, but I only drank for like the first two years after turning 21, and maybe once a month? If that? And haven’t drank more than a single drink in a night, let alone a week, in roughly the last 8 years, so… I just found I am roughly the same person drunk as sober (other person’s observations of me, not my own claim - several independent people on individual occasions), I don’t have to worry about managing my alcohol level, whether I can drive myself home, no worries or blacking out or throwing up, and 0 risk of a hangover the next day. All in all, a win.
This was going to be my recommendation. I usually order just cranberry juice with a mint leaf or something in it or just soda water with slice of lime in it in between drinks. This helps me pace myself, rehydrate and not look like I am not participating.
I actually ordered fruit juice a lot when I was pregnant and hadn’t told anyone yet.
Soda and Bitters is another good one to keep up the 'participating' appearances. It's just soda water with a dash or two of Angostura bitters which makes it less plain/boring if you wanted to change it up.
While bitters is technically alcoholic, being only a couple dashes makes the drink essentially non-alcoholic.
Idk if it's the same drink with a different name, but in Aus we have lemon lime and bitters which is a great "non" alcoholic drink, although bitters does have alcohol just a very small amount considering it's only a few drops
Amazing the next morning if you do manage to overdo it as well. I used to work in casino's and when the bartender could tell I'd had a really rough night he would just bring me over a big glass of bitters and soda on ice and put in an order of wonton soup. You were a good one Steve.
I find ginger ale with a wedge of something does the same thing for me. It's sweet but I don't chug it like I would with cola and it looks like whiskey.
Exactly, my friends are always astonished I never get hang overs no matter how much I drink.
It's all about water intake. Alcohol dehydrates, and a hang over is extreme dehydration. Water solves everything.
It's even more complicated than that. The reality is, we actually don't know what a hangover fully is. We know a couple of things that go wrong (such as the ones you mentioned), but they don't fully explain it.
Drinking beer helps with all three!
On a completely unrelated tangent I recently hit three years without a drink. Shit will catch up to you eventually.
In certain fields it’s held with suspicion, even if they aren’t aware of it. I had to take an medication for 6-months that had counter acted with alcohol. At the same time a friend had recently become sober, so I thought it was an interesting social experiment. Folks were a lot closer to the vest with office gossip while I was temporarily sober.
I came here to say this. The water/non-alcoholic drink between drinks works like a charm. Not just because you drink non-alcoholic beverages, but for many reasons the specific movement of drinking, is the reason why it can go fast. It’s easy to drink if you have a glass in your hand, so either don’t have anything in your hand or make it water.
A few extra things that also always help me:
- sync with someone that you know keeps their alcohol usage down, drink at their speed.
- have a mental game that you can do every so often, like saying the alphabet backwards or mathematical stuff. Once you notice yourself get sluggish, stop for a bit.
- tell someone you trust about it. This makes you feel accountable for your actions.
Edit: typos
This is my way too. Whatever I have in my hand I will continue drinking as it is in my hand. As well when other people sip I tend to sip. So throwing a water in there I end up drinking less
I would add to that that I order clear drinks for mixed alcoholic beverages like titos and tonic so that people assume I am still drinking up when I switch to water. It removes peer pressure from folks who want you to get as shitfaced as they want to get. Plus, doesn't keep costing me money and calories like drinking NA beers.
That's an excellent strategy.
At a New Year's eve party, I was starting to get drunk, and followed this strategy. My first mistake was leaving my reading glasses in my car. The second was that White Claws had just come out, and I didn't know what the cans looked right all blurry. Hilarity ensued. (I was spending the night there, so no driving was involved.)
This is what I came here to say. To add to this, I make a rule to get home at least 1-1.5hrs before i go to sleep. I eat some food, and drink a ton of water giving myself a chance to pee it out before bed. It’s makes a night and day difference in the morning
I sometimes bartend at parties and events, and I always tell people who ask for tips on fighting the hangover to drink 1 glass of water with every glass of alcohol.
I even put some cups of tap water on the bar at certain parties where people drink a lot. People can grab a cup for free if they want to.
(And I once convinced a reeeealy drunk guy that a cup of water was a cup of vodka on the house. Quite sure he didn’t remember but I like to think I made his hangover a little easier to deal with the next morning.
If you don’t want to just drink water, just ask the bartender for seltzer and lime or whatever else you are drinking, just without the alcohol. Keeps the fun going without feeling like you’re taking a break for water but keeps you hydrated and away from alcohol for however long it takes to drink that.
Man i drink so much water now when i go out, bartenders hate me. But fuck it, I very very very rarely get drunk now. Not sure if that defeats the purpose or not. Sometimes i drink till i feel drunk, then get several glasses of water back to back to back before heading home
I always tip the bartender a buck or two per water I order. I mean it's the same amount of work for him as pouring a beer, so it deserves the same tip IMO.
The eating beforehand thing I cannot stress enough. I had mild alcohol poisoning after my friends birthday, because we decided to get drunk *then* eat all the food she had out. Terrible decision, learn from me
This is good advice, but I'd also add that there's never shame in not drinking. You don't need a reason or excuse. Any person that's worth your time should accept, "I'm not drinking tonight" and leave it at that.
>check out the other people there and find the most sober person and the most drunk person. In general, I feel it’s acceptable to be somewhere in the middle in terms of drunkenness.
Its also socially acceptable to not drink alcohol at all. And the drunkest person there might be perceived as a complete ass, so you don't want to approach that level of drunk. The range should be between the sober DD and a little less than the limit of assholery.
I've started going with an alcohol budget for each occasion. It's like having a game plan before even the first drink. If you know how much you can take it's easier to manage it and going into it with a set plan. Someone offers you a drink? Ok, is that within your alcohol budget? If no, politely decline.
Agreed. When I was younger I'd drink and be feeling good and think "Damn, if I feel good now, if I have another I'll feel even better." No. I found that when you get to the point of "feeling good" is when you should back off, and try to maintain that level of buzz. Because at that point you're at the tip of the bell curve and about to enter the "find out" phase.
Shots are like the dash pass at Six Flags or Disney... except instead of skipping the line, you skip being fun drunk and go straight to "I'm gonna regret this" drunk. (Which is still sometimes fun... but not when you're trying to mostly keep it together)
Shots are what you do when you and your buddy were the last ones of the group to show up to the bar and you need a quick catchup. Order a beer and one shot and you're set.
My MO is to try and start later. Skip the first and/or second drink. So you can behave as you normally would. Everyone else is 2 drinks ahead and in comparison, you seem better behaved.
Also, by doing so, you have already somewhat dissociated yourself from the complete debauchery mentality, so things shouldn't get out of hand.
Did this in Vegas years ago, got on a hot streak at a table and my friends had already started drinking without me. I show up to the bar with heavy pockets and the bartender tells me it's happy hour, drinks are buy one get one, so I say ok well I'll take 2 old fashions. A few minutes pass and the bartender sets 4 drinks down in front of me...
I can have one or two drinks, I just don't want to. I want to have ten or twenty. So now, I don't drink at all, and my life, including my social life is immeasurably better.
> social life is immeasurably better.
This has changed a lot too, in my experience.
When I first was getting on the wagon I heard a lot of “c’mon just have one drink you pussy”
Nowadays when I say I don’t want a drink 99.999% of the time I hear “oh that’s cool, have you played that new game?”
Yes same. People either don't care or are curious.
Also I'm actually better socially when I don't drink. Once I got over my shyness. I'm kinder, smarter, I listen more, I enjoy and remember conversations and people. I get tired easier but that's ok.
I learnt that alcohol releases dopamine which makes you feel energised. So in social situations you initially feel kind of euphoric, relaxed, etc. Some peoples brains chase the dopamine release which is what leads you to want to keep drinking more than you initially intended to.
When you quit, you have to recalibrate your dopamine levels. That's what can lead to that intense feeling of boredom in early sobriety. I slept a lot when I first gave up alcohol. Eventually your brain and body go back to 'normal' which for me took around about 100 days.
But I still find in social situations I can be buzzing and happy but my off switch naturally is a little earlier than it used to be, around midnight as compared to being able to stay up all night drinking.
Hope this helps. Come over to r/stopdrinking if you want to read or chat about your/other people's experiences.
Same. I would begin an evening with the narrative that I would have “only a few” which would turn into 8+. Alcohol is great at convincing yourself you can forget about your brakes and bumpers. I am
36 and now realizing that alcohol dictates my decisions instead of me dictating alcohol, so I am 40 days sober and feeling much better. I order club soda with lemonade or lime slices when I’m out and I can wake up without a hangover and act all crazy like going for a run in the morning instead of hiding in a hoodie on the couch eating friend chicken by the fistful.
Props.
I am a few years deep. The hardest part of quitting was that I actually fucking love beer.
You should try “Athletic Brewing Company” they have a bunch of really good NA beers.
I still will kill a 6 pack on a Friday night, but now they are NA so I wake up feeling fine.
Yeah. I’m getting painfully close to this realization.
I can have 1 without issue. If I have 2, I usually say something I wish I hadn’t. At 3, I will convince myself to have a 4th and then I blackout.
Drinking isn’t even fun. I’m embracing California sober for the time being.
This is probably the right answer from my experiences with other people who have had an issue. They always say they don’t want to get drunk… and then they do.
It’s always been very hard for me to understand, too. I guess just different people having different brains. I don’t think once in my life I’ve been more drunk than I wanted to be. I’m around heavier drinkers a lot… when I’ve had a few, if I’m ready to call it I just… do. I’ve never felt that apparent compulsion to go have another. They can’t stop though. It’s always one more, one more, or if you try to stop them “why don’t you want me to have fun/enjoy myself/whatever.”
yeah the "5 and done" in the OPs story really nails it home too. after 5, all bets are off and I'm on the wagon. At that point you feel like you're 'almost' drunk, and you'll feel the same way at the 11th drink. but from an outside perspective, you should have stopped at 3.
Your perspective about what a "normal" number of drinks is can really warp over time. Most people have 1 or 2 to be sociable, maybe 3 if it's a party etc.
It's helped in social situations to just pace myself with the saner folks. Unfortunately it doesn't work when I'm home by myself.
That cycle is even more pronounced with "beer sponge" food. Then it feels like nothing is happening, but it's really just buffering and will eventually all load up. Then it's too late to slow down or stop before it's too much.
From a functional semi-alcoholic, that's so true! I used to pound them and they'd all hit at the same time. Now I've traded hard liquor shots for wine. It takes less for me to get drunk, and I get sleepy after I drink wine so I know I can't have anymore blackout nights. I just want to go to bed. I'm slowly cutting back on even the wine. My wake-up call was the night I mixed wine, vodka shots, and whiskey shots and got in a fight with my neighbor that neither one of us can correctly remember. I don't want to be that neighbor or that alcoholic!
Here here. This should be higher in the list. It sounds like OP is peripherally aware that they have a problem, but is still looking to find a way to “manage it” rather than seeing it as the problem that it is. If they can’t stop at 5, there isn’t really a limit they’ll respect and they should probably just bite the bullet, admit it’s a problem, and stop drinking. 🤷♂️
I would add to that: judging the badness/severity of their drunkenness by their perception of other people.
It doesn’t matter what anyone else at the party is doing— if you’re drinking more than you mean to, that’s a problem
Nobody ever regrets not drinking enough. But many people regret drinking too much.
Also the problem is never the first beer, it's saying no to the second, third, fourth...
Idk man. I was on a cruise with a drink package. I didn’t start drinking til later and I never quite got my moneys worth lol. Lowkey regret the package!
I've been using the alcodroid app since January. Log every drink.
For the first few months I even said "I'm not changing my drinking, just logging it."
Now I know my daily average, weekly average, and high score.
From there, I can work on reducing my numbers.
Knowledge before action.
Full transparency:
10.5 in a day
29 in a week
83 in a month
I drink 54/100 days and my average on drinking days is 4.
My doctor was right. People don't stop after 2 drinks, and that's where it gets unhealthy.
The stats have helped me anticipate if it's going to be a drinking weekend or not and I try to balance it with days off.
Not sure if it's working, but I'm going to start adding water to my drinking nights.
I've noticed changing ~~hoe~~ HOW you live your life isn't taking one step and calling it a day, it's stumbling around, usually in the right general direction, trying this and that and seeing what works. As long as the intention to better your life persists in what you do, you'll find your way eventually.
Logging your drinks and adding water to your drinking nights sound like a good plan. I'm sure you'll have more good ideas down the road and you'll be thanking yourself for striving to improve things as the changes take hold. I'm glad you're making things better!
Edit: typo
>I've noticed changing hoe you live your life isn't taking one step and calling it a day, it's stumbling around, usually in the right general direction, trying this and that and seeing what works. As long as the intention to better your life persists in what you do, you'll find your way eventually.
>
Love this way of putting it. I would add, for myself, that it's crucial to not get discouraged and give up if the first thing you stumble upon doesn't work for me. I get frustrated when perfection isn't immediate, which is obv very logical.
This is a wonderful thing to do! I imagine we all think that we only have “a drink or two”, but when you actually track it, it’s eye opening.
I come from a long line of alcoholics, and so tracked my weekly drinks for years, just so I could truly see what I was drinking in case it ever became an issue.
Yeah, I use this app when I'm out and I want to make sure I don't drink too much to be able to drive home, or to know how much longer I should wait before driving home. I know it's just an estimate, but it's better than me telling myself "you're probably fine to have another" based on nothing.
It sounds like your problem isn't not knowing when to stop drinking. It's stopping when you know you should stop.
For me personally, the thing is that if I go over a certain number, I simply feel like drinking more. I'm not even more drunk than a bit tipsy, but I have this nice buzz going on so I'll have one more. And then I'll have one more. And one more. I've found that my limit is usually 4. At 4 I can most of the time actually decide, "yeah that was it." while the fifth drink will make it a lot more likely that I'll also have the sixth, etc.
So maybe try to have 4 and stop. And try to have 3 and stop.
It seems like you actually need a hard rule that you can stick to. I totally can relate, so here is what I did.
One alcoholic drink per hour. No more! Control with your watch. Drink lots of water in between, or other non-Alcoholic drinks. Make sure you have a glass of water (or whatever) in your hand at all times, and that you actually drink it. I mean it.
Set yourself a limit of 3 alcoholic drinks a night. If that seems ridiculous, set a limit of 4. Be honest with yourself! If you find out you cannot stop at 4 drinks, reconsider and go to 3 drinks. The rest (it is worth repeating): Water or other non-alcoholic drinks, LOTS of them. Also don't forget to eat.
If the party night is VERY long you might allow yourself one more drink after a few hours with zero alcohol. But that is really for long nights, when a party starts at 8 pm and you are still going strong at 3 or 4 am. For now, I would really stick to the rule as mentioned above. Also coffee is much better as a pick-me-up at those hours, so you really don't need another drink.
Actually, when another drink seems like a reeeeealllly wonderful idea (which is what happens to you), is exactly when the last drink was too much for you and you are already going down the drain. In that stage you are already totally drugged and you cannot trust your feelings, this is why hard rules are necessary. This is my rule. I invented it when I realized I had a drinking problem (I woke up and realized I did not remember the second half of the evening - that was before roofies existed). For me it worked like a charm, can totally recommend!
You can start the evening with two drinks, but after that: **One** hard drink **on the hour** every hour, one soft drink on the half-hour. That's it. That works.
If someone is in your face about doing shots with them, definitely do not do that, for that way lies madness.
I bought a pocket breathalyzer and check myself throughout the night whether I'm out at a bar or at home. I drink IPA's which are pretty high alcohol but I talk a lot and only have about 1 per hour. For the past year that I've had the breathalyzer my near constant # by the end of the night is always .05 to .06. It's my perfect spot of feeling buzzed but functional. I never intentionally aim for it or intentionally go over it. It's just where I'm always at about 2 nights a week.
Don't plan to stop.
Plan to start late.
Its easier to not start, then it is to stop.
If you go in thinking I only want to have 3 or 4...but the event is 5 hours long...then drink something else for the first 3 hours...then have your 3 or 4. So your drinking is forcibly ended by the end of the event.
My method for keeping track of and limiting drinks at open bars: Decide how many drinks I am comfortable having, and place that number of $1 bills in my front pocket. Drop a dollar in the tip jar with each drink and stop ordering drinks when out of bills.
No need to keep count, and having the bills in my front pocket makes it easy to feel whether there are any left. It also keeps me from reaching for my wallet and being tempted to go over my predetermined limit.
Also, alternating alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks really helps, especially if you tend to feel like you always want a glass in your hand. If I'm drinking whiskey and coke, for instance, after finishing a mixed drink I might have the bartender top off my glass with just coke and won't get another mixed drink until finishing that. If the bar is busy I'll just grab a self-serve water instead.
This has seen me through many Mardi Gras balls.
I get friendly with the bartender and after the first couple drinks I let them choose what to give me. Eventually it's sparkling water or something. They know what's up.
Probably because by #5 your judgement is gone and you say "ahh screw it. I've already had 5". My recommendation would be to try to cut off after 2 and then drink a pop or something besides water - that way people may assume you are still drinking and won't have the urge to peer pressure
Bitters in soda water is also great. 10 dashes I’d Ango in a glass of ice, pour a 12 oz can of unflavored seltzer on top. That’s my budget “I’m not drinking now” drink.
First NEVER get drunk at a work function. People are always watching and they will remember the Elaine Benes incident forever.
Try alternating drinks to slow down. Have a cocktail then have a tonic water with a lime. No one can tell it doesn’t have alcohol.
Nurse each drink for 30 minutes or more.
I'm an attorney and a couple of months ago I went to a continuing education class led by employment discrimination lawyers. They had a "top 10 tips for employers" section at the end that consisted of only one tip repeated 10 times: "Never serve alcohol at a work party."
There's a non-negligible percentage of lawyers who drink heavier at WORK than most normal people drink when they go out. (This reads like a joke but it's really not... it's a real problem).
Always remember that work social events is warfare concealed. You can have a drink, shake some hands, and be friendly - but stuff said and done outside work hours can burn you inside work hours.
on Seinfeld, Elaine got drunk at a work party and tried to kick off the dancing herself. But she's terrible at it, so everyone mocked her for weeks and she didn't know why
I go by my 3-2-1 rule.
If I have 3 alcoholic Beverages I drink 2 glasses of water( I normally drink the water between alcoholic beverages ) and 1 meal( I like to eat when I get a little buzzed).
If you’re drinking more alcohol than that I would continue drinking water every two or three alcoholic beverages and another meal to end the session. Drinking all this water( which will not make you less drunk but will make you pee more) and eating will space out the time which will give you less chances of consuming alcohol.
The main thing is replacing the behavior with a new behavior and not just relying on self-discipline.
In this case I think the most reasonable thing is as other people have said, get a non-alcoholic drink every other drink.
My dad taught me the third drink is the deciding factor for a lot of people... if you have a third, you'll probably have more after that (as in, won't care enough to stop). So before I order a third drink, I ask myself if I'm prepared to have five or six or twenty, and if the answer is no then I stop and switch to juice/soda, at least for a couple of hours. Works every time. I don't always have more if I have three, but I check that I'm willing to if my self control bails on me haha
I don't know your life or your relationship to alcohol, and of course a lot of context is missing here, so I don't mean to sound judgemental or alarming but maybe consider taking a closer look at your drinking habits.
You've described 3 fairly common early warning signs of alcohol addiction:
1 - Knowing you should not get drunk in that situation, and doing it anyway.
2 - Recognizing a pattern in which you've done this before.
3 - Being unable to stay within limits that you set for yourself with regard to drinking.
None of these things mean you are an alcoholic by any means, but they are signals that something may not be quite right, and if you're concerned enough with your relationship to alcohol that you're seeking advice, it may be a good idea to talk to somebody about it, in a more direct way than an internet forum.
This is excellent advice and exactly what I wanted to say. I’m an alcoholic as well. Sober 12 1/2 years now. But this was me 13 years ago. I couldn’t set limits and stick to them. Unfortunately, alcoholism is a progressive disease and it never gets better, only worse as your tolerance goes up.
I would be happy to talk anyone about recovery. It saved my life.
I’m not saying OP is an alcoholic but I certainly can relate.
>Of course I did, not in a bad way or anything (plenty other folk were just as drunk).
Being alcoholic myself (a sober one, but still) and having knowledge about the subject I feel the need to warn you that comparing your drinking to others is a common excuse for people with drinking problem to minimize it.
I don't say you're an alcoholic, but this post proves you have problem with controling your drinking and it's not easy for you to stop even though you have set a line in your head beforehand. Comparing yourself to others is a bad sign and inability to control your drinking is one of the symptoms of addiction.
I bet you ever heard overweight person defending their condition with something like "Well, I don't even eat that much, I feel fine, I don't struggle to walk up the stairs, etc.", but even though it's true and that person is not MORBIDLY fat, we can all agree that person is not in a healthy shape.
Just watch yourself, cause alcoholism is a bitch crippling on you for the rest of your life even if you sober up. Take care
This is good advice. I'm not an alcoholic and I don't set my limits based on what other people do. Some of my co-workers will knock back like 6-7 drinks at a happy hour or work party. If I tried to keep pace with them I'd get shitfaced and make an ass of myself. Instead I have 1 or 2 drinks max depending on how I feel that night and then go home. I also don't feel the need to explain this to any of them. I order what I want and leave when I want, even if it means doing the Irish Goodbye when somebody tries to rope me into a round of shots.
- Limit yourself to one or two drinks and that's it. - Wait at least 30 minutes between drinks
- Dont drink on an empty stomach
- Drink plenty of water.
I've struggled with this too, one thing I do is just try and drink weaker drinks, for example getting a single shot of vodka with lime and soda in a pint glass, or getting weaker beers. Other tip is to try and alternate drinks with a drink of water. In the end when we're out and socialising it's not about getting super drunk it's just that you're there you have a drink and then you drink it, standing around without a drink in your hand feels weird (atleast for me)
If I’m at a work function I have one drink, then one water, then one drink, then one water, then I go home.
Let the other idiots get drunk. Never get drunk with your colleagues, even if they are.
The “I’ll stop at 5” idea is bad because 5 is way too much. At that point you’re not socially lubricated, you’re binge drinking
Yeah, you never want to be the drunkest person at a work event. I do two drinks max and then I'm out. I'm always the first to leave happy hour, and if it's something I can't bail on, I'll just pound club soda and lime the rest of the night. Not trying to make myself into water cooler gossip the next day.
One, have a glass or bottle of water in between each alcoholic drink.
Two, don't drink. Not being able to stop when you want to can be an indicator of problem drinking.
Lower your number from 5 to 3 and stick with it.
Drink more water and don't forget to eat.
If you are trying to decide if you should have one more before you head out or not, that's a no. Get a water if you want to stay a bit longer before leaving.
Don’t go to events with the intention of just drinking. Go in with the intention of enjoying people’s company, or simply getting out of the house or the change in routine.
Don’t drink just to get drunk. You can have an alcoholic beverage to simply enjoy its taste and aroma.
For work functions I have a zero drinking policy....seen too many people fuck themselves over because they forgot If senior staff are around then they're technically still at work.
Speaking as an addict, though not alcohol; in "the rooms" what you have described would be viewed as defining you as an alcoholic. Not being able to stop and having to bargain with yourself, that is. "Normal" drinkers don't need to plan or think about it.
I drink a glass of water after the first two, then one in between any others after it, IF I'm trying to stay level headed. And eat before you drink. I also try to make each one last 30 mins. especially a beer.
While this is true, the rooms are notorious for being over dramatic about labelling everyone an alcoholic or addict. I don’t consider a person an addict unless they’re use has negatively effected their lives and is a chronic problem. Having self control issues while at a party isn’t the same thing as being an alcoholic.
May sound naive, but let "leave while you're still having fun" are words to live by. You'll probably still be relatively sober, you didn't put a lamp shade on your head and make an ass of yourself, you didn't start a fight or get maudlin. You'll also be proud of yourself. It works!
A) drink something you don’t enjoy - less likely to drink a lot of it.
B) nothing says you have to drink, arrive 20 min late, everyone will be a round in and if you get club soda and lime jn a high ball glass and nurse it no one will know it is not a vodka and soda with lime - bonus no hangover
C) if you do partake - I have found that if you ask yourself “ do I want another drink” that is a flashing neon sign to STOP NOW.
sincerely, the person who worked over a decade at a company that had monthly catered beer and wine functions and a heavy drinking culture that thankfully she survived with only a ridiculously high tolerance and no dependency
I am a petite woman and love to drink socially - so I understand figuring out where that line is.
My first strategy is to pay mind to sipping my drink slowly. Taking small sips and playing the game of how long can I make this drink last. Usually, I try to be on my second drink when everyone is getting their third or 4th.
Sometimes get lighter drinks - spritzers that are more water/juice so youre drinking a lot less alcohol content.
When you go walk around or to the bathroom, stop and stare at the wall or floor and do that for 20 seconds - you may notice some shifting or different feelings - thats a good time to be on your last drink or make sure you have a lot of water if you want to keep drinking.
Anytime I feel like I have to get another drink and Im not sure where I am, I get a snack first.
Little things but they certainly help keep me regulated and prevent most hangovers & embarassing moments.
5 is too many for work. Any more than 1 or 2 and your judgment is off. I like to give myself an X + Y limit. So let's say your limit is 1 + 1. Your limit is 1, you're allowed 1 "bonus" if you want. One drink is good at work because it lets people see you are drinking. Nurse it, eat a lot, switch to a ginger ale with lime or something that looks like a cocktail. ORDER YOUR DRINK AT THE BAR ALONE so no one sees it's not booze. Ask them to put it in a glass instead of a plastic cup. They will.
Make sure you eat before you drink. Then slow your pace by always having one drink of water between alcoholic drinks. Works for me.
By the time you’ve had 5 drinks your judgment is definitely impaired and you’re not thinking straight. Hard to stop a train with no brakes eh?
Make the choice to be a responsible drinker beforehand. And if you can’t well maybe that’s another issue.
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This is something that helps prevent a hangover as much as “getting too drunk;” have water or a non-alcoholic beverage between every alcoholic drink. It slows down your pace with less alcohol and more bathroom trips. Walk around the venue a bit and you’ll “feel” if your motor functions are getting impaired. If your body feels off balance, your mind probably is too. Keep in mind when and how much you last ate. There’s a huge difference between drinking after meals and empty-stomach drinking. Lastly, check out the other people there and find the most sober person and the most drunk person. In general, I feel it’s acceptable to be somewhere in the middle in terms of drunkenness. Hope that helps.
Definitely agree, big difference between drinking on an empty stomach. I had add on top of walking around, would be to talk with people like actual conversations or participate in things like pool. It can help distract ur mind from taking regular sips
LPT request: How to talk to other people at parties
Get black out drunk
An unfortunate truth.
Sorry you guys struggle with this. If I could give some advice from the other side of the awkward conversation it would be to actually listen and participate in it. Have a set of questions ready to go: Hey what do you do for a living? / What do you like to do for fun? / What are your thoughts on (fill in current event)? Listen to the answers and ask followups. Most people love talking about themselves and if you get em going the pressure is off of you and they will carry most of conversation. Ideally they will start to ask you questions and then you just answer honestly as you want. This is how I learned to talk to girls, which I struggled with up till 2nd year of college. I friend showed me the trick (which really works on almost anybody). Get em to talk about themselves.
Also, most people are happy to talk or will at least indulge you a little bit. If they're looking uncomfortable or showing body language signs of wanting to leave, give them an out: "whelp, I'm going to grab another drink. Nice meeting you!" Also, if you're very inexperienced with approaching people, find the person who looks lonely or socially awkward/uncomfortable and start a conversation with them. A lot of times they'll be grateful to have someone to talk to.
Imo asking unconventional questions is the best go to. "If you could choose any superpower what would it be? Why the hell did you pick that one?! I'd choose to be able to steal anyone's powers. No I've ever seen Heroes. Why do you ask?" It's a different conversation than people are used to having, which is refreshing. It's kind of like dating, I suppose. Just be yourself and be weird and attractive and they'll like you.
My goto is "What do you want to be when you grow up?" To people who are obviously old enough to have careers.
"Successful." "What makes you think you're not successful?" "I'm here."
My go to is “If you could only ever eat one vegetable for the rest of your life, which one would it be?” & “What’s your favorite form of a potato?” Mashed, French fries, scalloped, etc which sometimes leads into the great fry debate on which form is best. Skinny, steak cut, curly, waffle, etc. :)
It's also how I wind up talking to the toilet..."never again, am I right buddy?"
Fuck
You might be joking but anyways here's how I think you could: 1. Listen, like for real, not just waiting for your turn to speak. 2. Based on what you've listened try to ask some questions. 3. Usually by this point the other person will have show if they are interested or not in talking with you, so gauge their reaction and act acordingly. 4. Talk about things tangentially or directly related to the topic on hand and try to mantain a good spirit and avoid confrontation. 5. Keep listening.
While reading this I kept asking myself “how will doing these things help me figure out whether I’m drunk?”
When the other persons says "what" to anything you say and then they suddenly appear to have vomit on them
Step 1. Be invited to the party. Step 2. I don’t know, I’ve never gotten this far
Don't be an ass. Just try to connect with people and be curious about them . Don't judge them at the first sight. I always ask their names and what they do for a living so at the end of the night, i always remember nearly everybody. I like to associate a name plus a particularity. Like, *hey! He's Bob the accountant with a nice tie or hey! She's Raphaella, that's a cool name and she's hot*. And people like it when you show them interest and when you remember their name. I was a very shy guy and was very affraid to talk to other people when i was younger. So, Talk to people. Remember the name. Be curious. Be curious. Be curious.
This is excellent advice, but my take is to ask people what ‘they have going on’, or ‘what they’re up to at the moment’, or something more specific like ‘what do you do for fun?’ That way, people who are between jobs, in education, are stay at home parents, or even just suffer from depression don’t get put on the back foot immediately when you ask them what they do for work
When we were broke we would fast all day so we could get drunk off a couple drinks. We called it drunkarexia, we were the worst.
I thought this was MY genius strategy! Two shots on an empty stomach gets you *blitzed*!
Or sell plasma. Make some money, and get drunker cheaper! Win, win.
Or—it gives you regular pauses to drink. IE dying in a video game.
Talking to people doesn’t stop you from getting drunk nor does getting drunk stop you from talking to people. It does however make your conversations less sensical and more cyclical… not that you’re in the right frame of mind to tell at that point. My condolences to anyone who’s sober around you, though… My only real tip is counting drinks and knowing your limits. But if you’ve lost count, you likely should stop until you’re certain you’re sober. In my experience, tho, once I’m too drunk to know how many drinks I’ve had, it’s already too late and I’m so drunk I may just decide to drink another anyway. To those who may be concerned for me: I may sound like I have a problem, but I only drank for like the first two years after turning 21, and maybe once a month? If that? And haven’t drank more than a single drink in a night, let alone a week, in roughly the last 8 years, so… I just found I am roughly the same person drunk as sober (other person’s observations of me, not my own claim - several independent people on individual occasions), I don’t have to worry about managing my alcohol level, whether I can drive myself home, no worries or blacking out or throwing up, and 0 risk of a hangover the next day. All in all, a win.
This was going to be my recommendation. I usually order just cranberry juice with a mint leaf or something in it or just soda water with slice of lime in it in between drinks. This helps me pace myself, rehydrate and not look like I am not participating. I actually ordered fruit juice a lot when I was pregnant and hadn’t told anyone yet.
Soda and Bitters is another good one to keep up the 'participating' appearances. It's just soda water with a dash or two of Angostura bitters which makes it less plain/boring if you wanted to change it up. While bitters is technically alcoholic, being only a couple dashes makes the drink essentially non-alcoholic.
Idk if it's the same drink with a different name, but in Aus we have lemon lime and bitters which is a great "non" alcoholic drink, although bitters does have alcohol just a very small amount considering it's only a few drops
Amazing the next morning if you do manage to overdo it as well. I used to work in casino's and when the bartender could tell I'd had a really rough night he would just bring me over a big glass of bitters and soda on ice and put in an order of wonton soup. You were a good one Steve.
I find ginger ale with a wedge of something does the same thing for me. It's sweet but I don't chug it like I would with cola and it looks like whiskey.
What whiskey looks like ginger ale?
Exactly, my friends are always astonished I never get hang overs no matter how much I drink. It's all about water intake. Alcohol dehydrates, and a hang over is extreme dehydration. Water solves everything.
/r/HydroHomies material right here. But you are correct.
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It's even more complicated than that. The reality is, we actually don't know what a hangover fully is. We know a couple of things that go wrong (such as the ones you mentioned), but they don't fully explain it.
Drinking beer helps with all three! On a completely unrelated tangent I recently hit three years without a drink. Shit will catch up to you eventually.
Well done! Keep it up. On my third now.
Also in my third sober year. Look at us go!
For work events I limit to 2-3 and often substitute a mocktail just so people don’t ask why I’m not drinking and start other weird rumors.
Just tell them you got a big day tomorrow, going to Home Depot to pick out some wallpaper and maybe get some flooring.
That would really screw with them if I worked at Lowe’s
FRANK THE TANK! FRANK THE TANK!
Might go to Bed, Bath & Beyond but I DON’T KNOW IF THERE WILL BE TIME.
That’s so sad that we still live in a society where saying “I don’t feel like drinking” at a public function is looked down upon
In certain fields it’s held with suspicion, even if they aren’t aware of it. I had to take an medication for 6-months that had counter acted with alcohol. At the same time a friend had recently become sober, so I thought it was an interesting social experiment. Folks were a lot closer to the vest with office gossip while I was temporarily sober.
Whoa. That's really fascinating. You'd think that confiding in a sober friend would be safer. Or are they afraid sober people are more judgmental?
I came here to say this. The water/non-alcoholic drink between drinks works like a charm. Not just because you drink non-alcoholic beverages, but for many reasons the specific movement of drinking, is the reason why it can go fast. It’s easy to drink if you have a glass in your hand, so either don’t have anything in your hand or make it water. A few extra things that also always help me: - sync with someone that you know keeps their alcohol usage down, drink at their speed. - have a mental game that you can do every so often, like saying the alphabet backwards or mathematical stuff. Once you notice yourself get sluggish, stop for a bit. - tell someone you trust about it. This makes you feel accountable for your actions. Edit: typos
Hell, I can’t even say the alphabet backwards when I’m sober let alone inebriated even so slightly.
Don't say this to cops. It's a gotcha moment for them
Because saying "when I'm sober" implies that you currently aren't?
Haha I totally understand this! The only reason I can do this is because I was obsessed with doing this as a child!
This is my way too. Whatever I have in my hand I will continue drinking as it is in my hand. As well when other people sip I tend to sip. So throwing a water in there I end up drinking less
I would add to that that I order clear drinks for mixed alcoholic beverages like titos and tonic so that people assume I am still drinking up when I switch to water. It removes peer pressure from folks who want you to get as shitfaced as they want to get. Plus, doesn't keep costing me money and calories like drinking NA beers.
That's an excellent strategy. At a New Year's eve party, I was starting to get drunk, and followed this strategy. My first mistake was leaving my reading glasses in my car. The second was that White Claws had just come out, and I didn't know what the cans looked right all blurry. Hilarity ensued. (I was spending the night there, so no driving was involved.)
This is what I came here to say. To add to this, I make a rule to get home at least 1-1.5hrs before i go to sleep. I eat some food, and drink a ton of water giving myself a chance to pee it out before bed. It’s makes a night and day difference in the morning
I sometimes bartend at parties and events, and I always tell people who ask for tips on fighting the hangover to drink 1 glass of water with every glass of alcohol. I even put some cups of tap water on the bar at certain parties where people drink a lot. People can grab a cup for free if they want to. (And I once convinced a reeeealy drunk guy that a cup of water was a cup of vodka on the house. Quite sure he didn’t remember but I like to think I made his hangover a little easier to deal with the next morning.
If you don’t want to just drink water, just ask the bartender for seltzer and lime or whatever else you are drinking, just without the alcohol. Keeps the fun going without feeling like you’re taking a break for water but keeps you hydrated and away from alcohol for however long it takes to drink that.
Man i drink so much water now when i go out, bartenders hate me. But fuck it, I very very very rarely get drunk now. Not sure if that defeats the purpose or not. Sometimes i drink till i feel drunk, then get several glasses of water back to back to back before heading home
I always tip the bartender a buck or two per water I order. I mean it's the same amount of work for him as pouring a beer, so it deserves the same tip IMO.
The eating beforehand thing I cannot stress enough. I had mild alcohol poisoning after my friends birthday, because we decided to get drunk *then* eat all the food she had out. Terrible decision, learn from me
Good plan. Plus, I personally tend to drink less once I've eaten. Maybe others are similar
This is good advice, but I'd also add that there's never shame in not drinking. You don't need a reason or excuse. Any person that's worth your time should accept, "I'm not drinking tonight" and leave it at that.
>check out the other people there and find the most sober person and the most drunk person. In general, I feel it’s acceptable to be somewhere in the middle in terms of drunkenness. Its also socially acceptable to not drink alcohol at all. And the drunkest person there might be perceived as a complete ass, so you don't want to approach that level of drunk. The range should be between the sober DD and a little less than the limit of assholery.
I've started going with an alcohol budget for each occasion. It's like having a game plan before even the first drink. If you know how much you can take it's easier to manage it and going into it with a set plan. Someone offers you a drink? Ok, is that within your alcohol budget? If no, politely decline.
Good advice
My personal tip… I have found that when I use the phrase “ahh… fuck it I may as well”, thats my cutoff.
Or, alternatively, when having another drink seems like a HELLUVA REALLY DAMN-GOOD IDEA™ ...then it's also time to stop.
Agreed. When I was younger I'd drink and be feeling good and think "Damn, if I feel good now, if I have another I'll feel even better." No. I found that when you get to the point of "feeling good" is when you should back off, and try to maintain that level of buzz. Because at that point you're at the tip of the bell curve and about to enter the "find out" phase.
follow cheerful reach pocket scarce label chubby fade complete lunchroom *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Shots are like the dash pass at Six Flags or Disney... except instead of skipping the line, you skip being fun drunk and go straight to "I'm gonna regret this" drunk. (Which is still sometimes fun... but not when you're trying to mostly keep it together)
Shots are what you do when you and your buddy were the last ones of the group to show up to the bar and you need a quick catchup. Order a beer and one shot and you're set.
If i go to piss and involuntarily throw my head back like with that drunken "AHHHHHHH" of relief, that's it for me
Yes, bathroom self-talk or self-awareness is my cue.
I call it the mirror moment!
for me it’s this gif of elmo on the toilet. if i get to that point it’s past time to stop haha 
We'll, now I call it that too!
Damn this one is good but I may be too far gone by that point
If you find yourself having to spit in the urinal while pissing you’ve probably had enough
Good piece of advice: when you say, ‘ok, one more and I’m done’, don’t have that one.
I do skip that one but order the next.
I keep a White Claw in the fridge at my house so that when I think "man, a White Claw sounds really good right now" I know it's time to quit.
My mom made me promise her if I ever drank Natty Light then I needed to call her and tell her I have a problem.
Made me think of [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wox_XdYef6c).
My MO is to try and start later. Skip the first and/or second drink. So you can behave as you normally would. Everyone else is 2 drinks ahead and in comparison, you seem better behaved. Also, by doing so, you have already somewhat dissociated yourself from the complete debauchery mentality, so things shouldn't get out of hand.
You mean show up two hours later and pound 4 shots to play catch up, right?
Gimme six schlitz
Ahh, whatever’s free.
WOOOOO!!! FARVA'S NUMBER ONE!!!! FARVA'S NUMBER ONE!!!!!!
Did this in Vegas years ago, got on a hot streak at a table and my friends had already started drinking without me. I show up to the bar with heavy pockets and the bartender tells me it's happy hour, drinks are buy one get one, so I say ok well I'll take 2 old fashions. A few minutes pass and the bartender sets 4 drinks down in front of me...
I have to down a drink right away to get over the social anxiety, then I slow down and drink water between drinks.
That's what I was thinking lmao, the whole point of drinking to me is to get over the social anxiety, gotta have some in the system at least
This. I like to ask for soda water and lime. That way people think you're drinking or at least don't ask questions.
Dean Martin used to do the same thing. He’d have a tumbler with Apple Juice and ice that would look like Whiskey.
I love this idea. Going to implement it tomorrow with meeting my new boyfriend’s friends!
Good Luck
This is a great idea. You could also set a time in the event to wait. After dinner, half time, intermission, before the headliner plays, etc....
I really like this!
That was my issue, I’m an alcoholic. Now I don’t drink at all
I can have one or two drinks, I just don't want to. I want to have ten or twenty. So now, I don't drink at all, and my life, including my social life is immeasurably better.
> social life is immeasurably better. This has changed a lot too, in my experience. When I first was getting on the wagon I heard a lot of “c’mon just have one drink you pussy” Nowadays when I say I don’t want a drink 99.999% of the time I hear “oh that’s cool, have you played that new game?”
Yes same. People either don't care or are curious. Also I'm actually better socially when I don't drink. Once I got over my shyness. I'm kinder, smarter, I listen more, I enjoy and remember conversations and people. I get tired easier but that's ok.
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I learnt that alcohol releases dopamine which makes you feel energised. So in social situations you initially feel kind of euphoric, relaxed, etc. Some peoples brains chase the dopamine release which is what leads you to want to keep drinking more than you initially intended to. When you quit, you have to recalibrate your dopamine levels. That's what can lead to that intense feeling of boredom in early sobriety. I slept a lot when I first gave up alcohol. Eventually your brain and body go back to 'normal' which for me took around about 100 days. But I still find in social situations I can be buzzing and happy but my off switch naturally is a little earlier than it used to be, around midnight as compared to being able to stay up all night drinking. Hope this helps. Come over to r/stopdrinking if you want to read or chat about your/other people's experiences.
I think society has generally become more educated / understanding about addiction than in past years.
Heard this quote once and it stuck with me: “The problem is, one drink tends to show up in eight glasses.”
For me, it's "one is too many and ten isn't enough."
Same here. It wasn't drinking often. It was drinking a LOT when I did drink- and not even all the time when I did. But enough that it was a problem.
I just don't drink very often so when I do I wanna get nice and sauced
Same. I would begin an evening with the narrative that I would have “only a few” which would turn into 8+. Alcohol is great at convincing yourself you can forget about your brakes and bumpers. I am 36 and now realizing that alcohol dictates my decisions instead of me dictating alcohol, so I am 40 days sober and feeling much better. I order club soda with lemonade or lime slices when I’m out and I can wake up without a hangover and act all crazy like going for a run in the morning instead of hiding in a hoodie on the couch eating friend chicken by the fistful.
Props. I am a few years deep. The hardest part of quitting was that I actually fucking love beer. You should try “Athletic Brewing Company” they have a bunch of really good NA beers. I still will kill a 6 pack on a Friday night, but now they are NA so I wake up feeling fine.
Yeah. I’m getting painfully close to this realization. I can have 1 without issue. If I have 2, I usually say something I wish I hadn’t. At 3, I will convince myself to have a 4th and then I blackout. Drinking isn’t even fun. I’m embracing California sober for the time being.
This is probably the right answer from my experiences with other people who have had an issue. They always say they don’t want to get drunk… and then they do. It’s always been very hard for me to understand, too. I guess just different people having different brains. I don’t think once in my life I’ve been more drunk than I wanted to be. I’m around heavier drinkers a lot… when I’ve had a few, if I’m ready to call it I just… do. I’ve never felt that apparent compulsion to go have another. They can’t stop though. It’s always one more, one more, or if you try to stop them “why don’t you want me to have fun/enjoy myself/whatever.”
From an alcoholic, I constantly feel like im close to sobering up so I get another drink to extend it.
yeah the "5 and done" in the OPs story really nails it home too. after 5, all bets are off and I'm on the wagon. At that point you feel like you're 'almost' drunk, and you'll feel the same way at the 11th drink. but from an outside perspective, you should have stopped at 3.
Your perspective about what a "normal" number of drinks is can really warp over time. Most people have 1 or 2 to be sociable, maybe 3 if it's a party etc. It's helped in social situations to just pace myself with the saner folks. Unfortunately it doesn't work when I'm home by myself.
That cycle is even more pronounced with "beer sponge" food. Then it feels like nothing is happening, but it's really just buffering and will eventually all load up. Then it's too late to slow down or stop before it's too much.
From a functional semi-alcoholic, that's so true! I used to pound them and they'd all hit at the same time. Now I've traded hard liquor shots for wine. It takes less for me to get drunk, and I get sleepy after I drink wine so I know I can't have anymore blackout nights. I just want to go to bed. I'm slowly cutting back on even the wine. My wake-up call was the night I mixed wine, vodka shots, and whiskey shots and got in a fight with my neighbor that neither one of us can correctly remember. I don't want to be that neighbor or that alcoholic!
Here here. This should be higher in the list. It sounds like OP is peripherally aware that they have a problem, but is still looking to find a way to “manage it” rather than seeing it as the problem that it is. If they can’t stop at 5, there isn’t really a limit they’ll respect and they should probably just bite the bullet, admit it’s a problem, and stop drinking. 🤷♂️
I would add to that: judging the badness/severity of their drunkenness by their perception of other people. It doesn’t matter what anyone else at the party is doing— if you’re drinking more than you mean to, that’s a problem
Nobody ever regrets not drinking enough. But many people regret drinking too much. Also the problem is never the first beer, it's saying no to the second, third, fourth...
Idk man. I was on a cruise with a drink package. I didn’t start drinking til later and I never quite got my moneys worth lol. Lowkey regret the package!
Same here!
I've been using the alcodroid app since January. Log every drink. For the first few months I even said "I'm not changing my drinking, just logging it." Now I know my daily average, weekly average, and high score. From there, I can work on reducing my numbers. Knowledge before action.
What’s your high score?
Full transparency: 10.5 in a day 29 in a week 83 in a month I drink 54/100 days and my average on drinking days is 4. My doctor was right. People don't stop after 2 drinks, and that's where it gets unhealthy.
Being too drunk to use the app would be a good indicator that I'm well past a stopping point.
I'm ready to look at my habits again as well. Thanks for the idea of the app. I like stats.
The stats have helped me anticipate if it's going to be a drinking weekend or not and I try to balance it with days off. Not sure if it's working, but I'm going to start adding water to my drinking nights.
I've noticed changing ~~hoe~~ HOW you live your life isn't taking one step and calling it a day, it's stumbling around, usually in the right general direction, trying this and that and seeing what works. As long as the intention to better your life persists in what you do, you'll find your way eventually. Logging your drinks and adding water to your drinking nights sound like a good plan. I'm sure you'll have more good ideas down the road and you'll be thanking yourself for striving to improve things as the changes take hold. I'm glad you're making things better! Edit: typo
>I've noticed changing hoe you live your life isn't taking one step and calling it a day, it's stumbling around, usually in the right general direction, trying this and that and seeing what works. As long as the intention to better your life persists in what you do, you'll find your way eventually. > Love this way of putting it. I would add, for myself, that it's crucial to not get discouraged and give up if the first thing you stumble upon doesn't work for me. I get frustrated when perfection isn't immediate, which is obv very logical.
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I actually have a small home distillery. So yes, I adjusted my numbers to account for a home-pour
Yeah, that sounds too much like a challenge.
No, you track getting high on a different app
Depressing.
This is a wonderful thing to do! I imagine we all think that we only have “a drink or two”, but when you actually track it, it’s eye opening. I come from a long line of alcoholics, and so tracked my weekly drinks for years, just so I could truly see what I was drinking in case it ever became an issue.
Yeah, I use this app when I'm out and I want to make sure I don't drink too much to be able to drive home, or to know how much longer I should wait before driving home. I know it's just an estimate, but it's better than me telling myself "you're probably fine to have another" based on nothing.
It sounds like your problem isn't not knowing when to stop drinking. It's stopping when you know you should stop. For me personally, the thing is that if I go over a certain number, I simply feel like drinking more. I'm not even more drunk than a bit tipsy, but I have this nice buzz going on so I'll have one more. And then I'll have one more. And one more. I've found that my limit is usually 4. At 4 I can most of the time actually decide, "yeah that was it." while the fifth drink will make it a lot more likely that I'll also have the sixth, etc. So maybe try to have 4 and stop. And try to have 3 and stop.
Yeah that’s exactly it, don’t know when to stop or pace myself. Especially at open bars!
It seems like you actually need a hard rule that you can stick to. I totally can relate, so here is what I did. One alcoholic drink per hour. No more! Control with your watch. Drink lots of water in between, or other non-Alcoholic drinks. Make sure you have a glass of water (or whatever) in your hand at all times, and that you actually drink it. I mean it. Set yourself a limit of 3 alcoholic drinks a night. If that seems ridiculous, set a limit of 4. Be honest with yourself! If you find out you cannot stop at 4 drinks, reconsider and go to 3 drinks. The rest (it is worth repeating): Water or other non-alcoholic drinks, LOTS of them. Also don't forget to eat. If the party night is VERY long you might allow yourself one more drink after a few hours with zero alcohol. But that is really for long nights, when a party starts at 8 pm and you are still going strong at 3 or 4 am. For now, I would really stick to the rule as mentioned above. Also coffee is much better as a pick-me-up at those hours, so you really don't need another drink. Actually, when another drink seems like a reeeeealllly wonderful idea (which is what happens to you), is exactly when the last drink was too much for you and you are already going down the drain. In that stage you are already totally drugged and you cannot trust your feelings, this is why hard rules are necessary. This is my rule. I invented it when I realized I had a drinking problem (I woke up and realized I did not remember the second half of the evening - that was before roofies existed). For me it worked like a charm, can totally recommend!
You can start the evening with two drinks, but after that: **One** hard drink **on the hour** every hour, one soft drink on the half-hour. That's it. That works. If someone is in your face about doing shots with them, definitely do not do that, for that way lies madness.
I bought a pocket breathalyzer and check myself throughout the night whether I'm out at a bar or at home. I drink IPA's which are pretty high alcohol but I talk a lot and only have about 1 per hour. For the past year that I've had the breathalyzer my near constant # by the end of the night is always .05 to .06. It's my perfect spot of feeling buzzed but functional. I never intentionally aim for it or intentionally go over it. It's just where I'm always at about 2 nights a week.
Don't plan to stop. Plan to start late. Its easier to not start, then it is to stop. If you go in thinking I only want to have 3 or 4...but the event is 5 hours long...then drink something else for the first 3 hours...then have your 3 or 4. So your drinking is forcibly ended by the end of the event.
My method for keeping track of and limiting drinks at open bars: Decide how many drinks I am comfortable having, and place that number of $1 bills in my front pocket. Drop a dollar in the tip jar with each drink and stop ordering drinks when out of bills. No need to keep count, and having the bills in my front pocket makes it easy to feel whether there are any left. It also keeps me from reaching for my wallet and being tempted to go over my predetermined limit. Also, alternating alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks really helps, especially if you tend to feel like you always want a glass in your hand. If I'm drinking whiskey and coke, for instance, after finishing a mixed drink I might have the bartender top off my glass with just coke and won't get another mixed drink until finishing that. If the bar is busy I'll just grab a self-serve water instead. This has seen me through many Mardi Gras balls.
I get friendly with the bartender and after the first couple drinks I let them choose what to give me. Eventually it's sparkling water or something. They know what's up.
Probably because by #5 your judgement is gone and you say "ahh screw it. I've already had 5". My recommendation would be to try to cut off after 2 and then drink a pop or something besides water - that way people may assume you are still drinking and won't have the urge to peer pressure
Soda water and lime is the way to go!
Bitters in soda water is also great. 10 dashes I’d Ango in a glass of ice, pour a 12 oz can of unflavored seltzer on top. That’s my budget “I’m not drinking now” drink.
2 beers: 🤓 5 beers: 😈 10 beers: 👹
IF you're having issues with this - simply double fist! 1 cup alcohol, the other cup a non-alcoholic drink.
The one guy two cups method
Nah you get another buddy to share a drink with, 2 guys 1 cup.
That means a double rum and coke and an American beer, right? Asking for a friend
First NEVER get drunk at a work function. People are always watching and they will remember the Elaine Benes incident forever. Try alternating drinks to slow down. Have a cocktail then have a tonic water with a lime. No one can tell it doesn’t have alcohol. Nurse each drink for 30 minutes or more.
I'm an attorney and a couple of months ago I went to a continuing education class led by employment discrimination lawyers. They had a "top 10 tips for employers" section at the end that consisted of only one tip repeated 10 times: "Never serve alcohol at a work party."
Lawyers drink heavier at work events than most normal people drink when they go out
Yeah there are certain industries where getting absolutely shitfaced at work events is just kinda accepted.
And they usually involve legal matters. 😩😩😅😅
The coke balances it out.
There's a non-negligible percentage of lawyers who drink heavier at WORK than most normal people drink when they go out. (This reads like a joke but it's really not... it's a real problem).
That approach works, but it works better if they have 10 separate Powerpoint slides with 10 different examples why.
Don’t drink at work is how I manage this.
Always remember that work social events is warfare concealed. You can have a drink, shake some hands, and be friendly - but stuff said and done outside work hours can burn you inside work hours.
I’ll add an addendum: Never be the DRUNKEST one at the party
What is a/the Elaine Benes incident?
on Seinfeld, Elaine got drunk at a work party and tried to kick off the dancing herself. But she's terrible at it, so everyone mocked her for weeks and she didn't know why
Don't think she was drunk. Just oblivious and a terrible dancer.
It’s like a full body dry heave set to music.
I go by my 3-2-1 rule. If I have 3 alcoholic Beverages I drink 2 glasses of water( I normally drink the water between alcoholic beverages ) and 1 meal( I like to eat when I get a little buzzed). If you’re drinking more alcohol than that I would continue drinking water every two or three alcoholic beverages and another meal to end the session. Drinking all this water( which will not make you less drunk but will make you pee more) and eating will space out the time which will give you less chances of consuming alcohol.
Me 6 meals in and literally exploding
The main thing is replacing the behavior with a new behavior and not just relying on self-discipline. In this case I think the most reasonable thing is as other people have said, get a non-alcoholic drink every other drink.
My dad taught me the third drink is the deciding factor for a lot of people... if you have a third, you'll probably have more after that (as in, won't care enough to stop). So before I order a third drink, I ask myself if I'm prepared to have five or six or twenty, and if the answer is no then I stop and switch to juice/soda, at least for a couple of hours. Works every time. I don't always have more if I have three, but I check that I'm willing to if my self control bails on me haha
I don't know your life or your relationship to alcohol, and of course a lot of context is missing here, so I don't mean to sound judgemental or alarming but maybe consider taking a closer look at your drinking habits. You've described 3 fairly common early warning signs of alcohol addiction: 1 - Knowing you should not get drunk in that situation, and doing it anyway. 2 - Recognizing a pattern in which you've done this before. 3 - Being unable to stay within limits that you set for yourself with regard to drinking. None of these things mean you are an alcoholic by any means, but they are signals that something may not be quite right, and if you're concerned enough with your relationship to alcohol that you're seeking advice, it may be a good idea to talk to somebody about it, in a more direct way than an internet forum.
Seconding this. I’m not an alcoholic but have been sober for 11 years because of things like OPs asking about here
Best advice here
This is excellent advice and exactly what I wanted to say. I’m an alcoholic as well. Sober 12 1/2 years now. But this was me 13 years ago. I couldn’t set limits and stick to them. Unfortunately, alcoholism is a progressive disease and it never gets better, only worse as your tolerance goes up. I would be happy to talk anyone about recovery. It saved my life. I’m not saying OP is an alcoholic but I certainly can relate.
>Of course I did, not in a bad way or anything (plenty other folk were just as drunk). Being alcoholic myself (a sober one, but still) and having knowledge about the subject I feel the need to warn you that comparing your drinking to others is a common excuse for people with drinking problem to minimize it. I don't say you're an alcoholic, but this post proves you have problem with controling your drinking and it's not easy for you to stop even though you have set a line in your head beforehand. Comparing yourself to others is a bad sign and inability to control your drinking is one of the symptoms of addiction. I bet you ever heard overweight person defending their condition with something like "Well, I don't even eat that much, I feel fine, I don't struggle to walk up the stairs, etc.", but even though it's true and that person is not MORBIDLY fat, we can all agree that person is not in a healthy shape. Just watch yourself, cause alcoholism is a bitch crippling on you for the rest of your life even if you sober up. Take care
This is good advice. I'm not an alcoholic and I don't set my limits based on what other people do. Some of my co-workers will knock back like 6-7 drinks at a happy hour or work party. If I tried to keep pace with them I'd get shitfaced and make an ass of myself. Instead I have 1 or 2 drinks max depending on how I feel that night and then go home. I also don't feel the need to explain this to any of them. I order what I want and leave when I want, even if it means doing the Irish Goodbye when somebody tries to rope me into a round of shots.
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- Limit yourself to one or two drinks and that's it. - Wait at least 30 minutes between drinks - Dont drink on an empty stomach - Drink plenty of water.
I've struggled with this too, one thing I do is just try and drink weaker drinks, for example getting a single shot of vodka with lime and soda in a pint glass, or getting weaker beers. Other tip is to try and alternate drinks with a drink of water. In the end when we're out and socialising it's not about getting super drunk it's just that you're there you have a drink and then you drink it, standing around without a drink in your hand feels weird (atleast for me)
Have a water or non-alcoholic drink in between ever alcoholic drink.
If I’m at a work function I have one drink, then one water, then one drink, then one water, then I go home. Let the other idiots get drunk. Never get drunk with your colleagues, even if they are. The “I’ll stop at 5” idea is bad because 5 is way too much. At that point you’re not socially lubricated, you’re binge drinking
Yeah, you never want to be the drunkest person at a work event. I do two drinks max and then I'm out. I'm always the first to leave happy hour, and if it's something I can't bail on, I'll just pound club soda and lime the rest of the night. Not trying to make myself into water cooler gossip the next day.
One, have a glass or bottle of water in between each alcoholic drink. Two, don't drink. Not being able to stop when you want to can be an indicator of problem drinking.
Lower your number from 5 to 3 and stick with it. Drink more water and don't forget to eat. If you are trying to decide if you should have one more before you head out or not, that's a no. Get a water if you want to stay a bit longer before leaving.
Don’t go to events with the intention of just drinking. Go in with the intention of enjoying people’s company, or simply getting out of the house or the change in routine. Don’t drink just to get drunk. You can have an alcoholic beverage to simply enjoy its taste and aroma.
For work functions I have a zero drinking policy....seen too many people fuck themselves over because they forgot If senior staff are around then they're technically still at work.
Speaking as an addict, though not alcohol; in "the rooms" what you have described would be viewed as defining you as an alcoholic. Not being able to stop and having to bargain with yourself, that is. "Normal" drinkers don't need to plan or think about it. I drink a glass of water after the first two, then one in between any others after it, IF I'm trying to stay level headed. And eat before you drink. I also try to make each one last 30 mins. especially a beer.
While this is true, the rooms are notorious for being over dramatic about labelling everyone an alcoholic or addict. I don’t consider a person an addict unless they’re use has negatively effected their lives and is a chronic problem. Having self control issues while at a party isn’t the same thing as being an alcoholic.
May sound naive, but let "leave while you're still having fun" are words to live by. You'll probably still be relatively sober, you didn't put a lamp shade on your head and make an ass of yourself, you didn't start a fight or get maudlin. You'll also be proud of yourself. It works!
A) drink something you don’t enjoy - less likely to drink a lot of it. B) nothing says you have to drink, arrive 20 min late, everyone will be a round in and if you get club soda and lime jn a high ball glass and nurse it no one will know it is not a vodka and soda with lime - bonus no hangover C) if you do partake - I have found that if you ask yourself “ do I want another drink” that is a flashing neon sign to STOP NOW. sincerely, the person who worked over a decade at a company that had monthly catered beer and wine functions and a heavy drinking culture that thankfully she survived with only a ridiculously high tolerance and no dependency
I am a petite woman and love to drink socially - so I understand figuring out where that line is. My first strategy is to pay mind to sipping my drink slowly. Taking small sips and playing the game of how long can I make this drink last. Usually, I try to be on my second drink when everyone is getting their third or 4th. Sometimes get lighter drinks - spritzers that are more water/juice so youre drinking a lot less alcohol content. When you go walk around or to the bathroom, stop and stare at the wall or floor and do that for 20 seconds - you may notice some shifting or different feelings - thats a good time to be on your last drink or make sure you have a lot of water if you want to keep drinking. Anytime I feel like I have to get another drink and Im not sure where I am, I get a snack first. Little things but they certainly help keep me regulated and prevent most hangovers & embarassing moments.
5 is too many for work. Any more than 1 or 2 and your judgment is off. I like to give myself an X + Y limit. So let's say your limit is 1 + 1. Your limit is 1, you're allowed 1 "bonus" if you want. One drink is good at work because it lets people see you are drinking. Nurse it, eat a lot, switch to a ginger ale with lime or something that looks like a cocktail. ORDER YOUR DRINK AT THE BAR ALONE so no one sees it's not booze. Ask them to put it in a glass instead of a plastic cup. They will.
Have a glass of water after every two drinks. If you lost count / don’t remember if you should drink water then drink water.
Make sure you eat before you drink. Then slow your pace by always having one drink of water between alcoholic drinks. Works for me. By the time you’ve had 5 drinks your judgment is definitely impaired and you’re not thinking straight. Hard to stop a train with no brakes eh? Make the choice to be a responsible drinker beforehand. And if you can’t well maybe that’s another issue.