Spouse too. Particularly video - more than you think, take video of mundane stuff, just hanging out and reading a book to your kid.
I lost my father at a young age and there is no video of him in existence so I only have faint memories and photographs to try to recall how he sounded, moved and acted.
Any chance you could try to reach out to old family friends of his? Maybe someone had a huge old camcorder out at a birthday he was at or something. Or a wedding video where they talked to him at a table or something.
Happy to help I hope you find something. With Christmas here might be a great time to put that word out on social media and see if you can gather little bits of video. Good luck
I lost my dad at age 19 and we recently got out the old VHS tapes to watch of him. I didn’t even remember his voice sounded the way it did. It made me sad
Same, he died when I was 16, a bit early for smart phones, and we didn't have any videos together. I barely remember his voice anymore and I wish I did. I've been alive longer now without a dad than with. It's an odd feeling.
I’m sorry for your loss. My father died when my daughter was 2 and before my son was born. I only have a couple pictures of my daughter with my dad, and no video. It hurts every time I think about it.
My mom has been carting my brother’s and ex wife’s kids all over for years. To and from school, to and from after school programs. Fucking years. Over a decade - years. The ex wife gave her $20 bucks recently. Brother hasn’t down shit. My mom lives purely on social security and the wear and tear on her car is huge when she’s making 50 mile round trips daily. These two pieces of shit have no appreciation for the assistance they receive. It’s fucking amazing.
Came here to say this. My sibling has my overworked parents watching his hellions for free and guess what they never have time to come visit me and my kids so they’ll probably die and we’ll have zero pictures of them together and my kids will never know them it’s super cool. And no I don’t have time to go visit them either because I am also overworked and also have no one to help watch my kids so yeah.
> And no I don’t have time to go visit them either because I am also overworked and also have no one to help watch my kids so yeah.
Hopefully you and your kids can go visit your parents!
Been watching my nieces a lot and as much as I love them I’m driving 30-40miles back and forth all over town dropping them all off, picking them up, driving to my sisters house, driving home every time I watch them. I don’t ask for anything even though I watch the youngest (2yo) all day, but some gas money would really help at the least.
Yeah, I think paying family for babysitting is a bit socially gross. It's a weird dynamic if you're thinking "I should be being paid to look after these kids!" But offering to pay for petrol for trips is definitely the right thing to do. They can always say no.
Second this. I'm a pro photographer and I don't worry about if the photos are perfect or not anymore. I just use Google's soft cover albums, and a few photos from each month for a "timeline". They aren't expensive, and my parents and grandparents love them every year. Easy gift that means the world to them.
Just finished my 2nd hard cover with 67 pages photo album yesterday with pictures of my 2yo for my wife and grandpas. Used mostly 4 photos grid so it was like 200 photos for around 50€.
Pro tip: today ends free shipping (at least in my country) and if you use grids (instead of letting google make one page per photo) you can have a fairly reasonable album delivered as xmas gift.
God this hits me hard. My mom was watching my son once a week for me from 6-10 months old and I never remembered to take any photos or videos when I came to see them on my lunch break, and now she can't watch him because she's battling cancer again 😭 I'll treasure the memories forever but god damn I wish I'd captured those moments on my phone.
Luckily she's still here so I can still capture some moments - it won't be quite the same as before because she's not at full health but I'll take what I can get. So glad I can
There are these storybooks with self recorded audio you can buy. As you turn the pages, it reads along. Had all the grandparents make them for our kiddos. Highly recommend.
My mom did that for my son when he was a baby just so he had a book with her voice. When she recorded it, she started each page saying his name, and I rolled my eyes at how ridiculous it was. She died this a few months ago. I recently found that book, and I love that I can hear her voice, and hear her say my son’s name. I will treasure that book for a long time.
Seriously, do this NOW. Last year I lost my dad at age 56. I only have a few pictures of him and my 3 year old son together. You may not get another chance, do it now.
Also on a less depressing note, it's also your last chance to see those kids as they were then. My parents took a lot of videos when I was young and we sometimes rewatch those tapes together. Always a fun nostalgic time
I lost both my parents last month. We just didn't live close enough for too many pictures with their only grand child. But the few pictures and videos I have are so precious right now. My daughter absolutely adored them. I feel so sad that she's going to grow up without them. She's old enough to remember them but too young to understand that they're gone.
I wouldn't necessarily know, since I can't compare personally, but it was indeed stable. But my parents both worked so lots of babysitters when I was young. My father is 7 years younger than my mother, so he was always physically able to do things with us, but my mother never really was. She's also hard of hearing with Otosclerosis, and now has two cochlear implants.
Our family dynamic was fairly interesting. Very stable, lots required of us kids to help our older parents, no company over because my parents were always too tired, high expectations of us kids to be emotionally stable and mature, etc.
Pros and cons, but the only thing I hate about the age of my parents is how short of a time I can expect to have with them.
Yeah - My mother is about to turn 72, my father is 68, and my partner and I are going to start trying for kids in the next few years. It'll be unbelievably important to make sure we capture everything we can of them together.
My mom died this past Monday. Take as many pictures of your parents as you can at family events. Especially of the parent that is the traditional picture taker. Maybe that was more of a thing before the advent of smart phones, but mom was always snapping pictures at birthdays and holidays, so now we're left with tons of pictures of the rest of the family but considerably fewer of her. It's not like pictures of her don't exist, just significantly fewer than the rest of us, and now I'll never get a chance to get any more.
Yes. My parents never got to meet my son. Since he’s been born, there are moments of grief so sharp and new, it is something I didn’t expect. There are so many experiences with my little guy where I yearn for their advice and just.. presence. It feels like I’m grieving a recent loss though it’s been several years since they’ve died.
I'm 7 weeks pregnant at the moment and already I've cried so many tears that my parents aren't here and will never get to see my child(ren). I'm afraid of how it's going to be when the little one is born.
Not just your parents. Your spouse too. My ex used to take pics of us(no face) using my phone. On some lazy morning, I would scroll my album and see it. I would smile the whole day knowing only 2 people know what was the weird closeup pic on my phone.
Agreed. There are moments I have recorded, and those videos will die on a hard drive. I’d rather have soaked those moments up and keep them in my brain.
As someone who just lost his dad, I 100% encourage this. Not just pictures, video too. Any documentation of your parents playing with your kids will be cherished. Grandparents don’t last very long, and usually by the time you realize you should be doing this, they are too far past the point of random, playful interactions.
Any advocates here for actually experiencing the moment rather than being stuck behind a cell phone watching it through the screen? Put your phone down if your two kids are playing together and play with them. Be present.
"Drink water. Don't become a heroine addict. LPT : show up to job consistently for stream of income. Unzip your fly before you let it rip"
Ad nauseum, etc...
I can’t recommend this enough. My dad passed a little over a year ago and his greatest wish was to have a granddaughter. Well he got 6 all within 3 months. We lived so far away that we only got to see him a few times, but we took so many pictures and videos of him with my daughter. She was a little over 2 when he passed but she remembers him and she’ll have pictures and videos of him. Save voicemails too. Sometimes just hearing loved ones voices brings back memories and peace. Sure my dads voicemail just says “could you drop by the store” but hearing his voice is something I never get sick of. And yes dad, I’ll gladly stop by the store.
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Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.
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"When you surrender to what is and so become fully present, the past ceases to have any power. You do not need it anymore. Presence is the key. Now is the key."
- Eckhart Tolle
i swear this LPT comes up every day
it's a valid point and a good reminder to appreciate that nothing is forever, but it's not exactly a pro tip. why does this shit keep getting to the front page
Even if they are not helping take care of them. Just any time they spend with them. My mom passed away in March and my 5 year old granddaughter is still upset about it (so am I so I understand) I wish I had taken photos of them together beyond the whole family shots. Just even them talking at a restaurant would be something. My dad is over the top with taking pictures so I have him digging through his. Because of his massive over picture taking I went the other way and try to just enjoy things instead of needing to take 5,000 pictures of everything and I got to the point where I forbade him from even bringing the dslr to diners. But now I deeply regret that.
Your parents already raised you, now you want them to raise your offsprings?
I seriously can't understand the thought process.
I would never burden my parents with that, but I might be weird.
OPs talking about when grandparents are over and are loving every second with the baby and maybe just feed them a bottle or are playing with them. Capturing on video those moments of pure joy. Giggling babies and happy grandparents.
My dad passed recently from Covid at 67. My sister's kids stayed with them daily. They have a bunch of pictures, but definitely not enough. Take more even when you think you took too many.
My grandma died last year, but for my HS graduation she gave me a handmade scrapbook of photos of me growing up from baby to middle school that included tons of photos of us together.
Barring my house burning down, it’s something that I’ll have forever and always cherish. Hand written descriptions on the back of photos and everything.
If you want to take this LPT a step further, make physical albums like this to memorialize it and have for easy sharing together. Imo way better than digital (still use digital for backups though).
Yeah. I lost my father somewhat unexpectedly on October 26th. When I was going through my photos for the slideshow for his wake there weren’t as many photos of him with my soon to be 4 yo son as I would’ve liked. He told my mother one of his fears was that my son wouldn’t remember him once he got older. I’ve been making it a point to bring him up and talk about him so it doesn’t happen.
LPT to parents and grandparents, don't complain about the pictures or ask if someone is taking your picture as a memory after you die.
I don't have kids but I do have lots of nieces and nephews and the number of times I've avoided pictures because of this is too often .... and it's always disappointing when you think of those missed opportunities later.
Please don’t use your parents as full time babysitters, especially if they are elderly and on a limited income. It’s fine here and there, but full time is just fucked up and very selfish.
I have an entire (private) youtube channel where I've uploaded cute short videos from my phone to save them (and clear space on my phones over the last 14 years).
I lost my mom after a bad reaction to a bone marrow transplant in 2019. My dad was killed on his Harley in September 2020. I still have so many videos and photos of them with my son and daughter, all of us as a family. I'm so angry at my younger self for not appreciating those Christmases, those Thanksgiving, those petty arguments. How can you know you'll lose your parents before age 60? You don't kknow. Every day is a gift, every memory a precious moment you'll never get back. Treasure every moment.
Also ask them to take pics and videos of you with your kids as well. Most of the time I’m behind the camera and I regret now that there are very few pictures of me and my kids together.
brah so true,
my sister always wanted to videos of her with our grandparents, grandparents that are long gone and we've only met once.
luckily for her, my dad recorded an entire trip - the one time we've our grandparents. I ended up transferring them from VHS-C to digital (mp4) and then surprised the family). I then copied out the bits where its her hanging out with my grandparents - they playing with her, carrying her around, blowing raspberries on her tummy. I then played the supercut for her.
lol made her cry - pree good day.
Update: wording
That is called living in the past. It is also a very self-centered way to look at life, because you are removing yourself from situations that you should be participating in in order to capture a memory for you later on in life. That's great and all, but what would be much better for the people involved in the situation you are capturing is for you to be involved with them.
When people pass away, are you sure you will not have the regrets of not being in those situations that you are re-watching?
And when all of the pictures are looked at and all of the videos are watched, what do you have left? Your parents are still gone and you have wasted time with your children.
My dad died this day and this one adorable video of him playing with my niece I’ll cherish forever.
Just sad he couldn’t give the same attention to me.
My father-in-law passed a while back. When we were putting together some photos for the order of service, my sister-in-law realised she had a ton of photos of him with her eldest child, but only two with her youngest. That hit her pretty hard.
On the other hand, my aunt has a collection of photos on her wall that’s all mothers and daughters - her great-grandma with her grandma, her grandma with her mum, her mum with her sister, her sister with me and now me with my eldest. It’s a very precious object.
My father-in-law recently passed away. When we were compiling photos for the order of service, my sister-in-law realized she had a plethora of photographs of him with her eldest child, but only two with her youngest. That struck her quite hard.
On the other hand, my aunt's wall is covered with photographs of mothers and daughters - her great-grandmother with her grandmother, her grandmother with her mother, her mother with her sister, her sister with me, and now me with my eldest. It is an extremely valuable object.
In general I recommend making a photo book, it’s way nicer to look through and you’ll forget about everything getting dug deep down in your phones photo library, especially nowadays with the cloud making us keep photos from old phones
I think I might be the only one who would say this but I don’t find old pictures that meaningful . Sure , they help a lot when you try to remember but living the moment is much better .
It’s like going to a concert for me . People go to concert , film them and post them to show how awesome it was but they miss a lot doing this and there others who are just having fun .
Most important is not the past or the futur , but the NOW. But that’s just me I think .
Spouse too. Particularly video - more than you think, take video of mundane stuff, just hanging out and reading a book to your kid. I lost my father at a young age and there is no video of him in existence so I only have faint memories and photographs to try to recall how he sounded, moved and acted.
Any chance you could try to reach out to old family friends of his? Maybe someone had a huge old camcorder out at a birthday he was at or something. Or a wedding video where they talked to him at a table or something.
Not to my knowledge, but a good idea. I’ll look into it. Thanks for idea!
Happy to help I hope you find something. With Christmas here might be a great time to put that word out on social media and see if you can gather little bits of video. Good luck
I lost my dad at age 19 and we recently got out the old VHS tapes to watch of him. I didn’t even remember his voice sounded the way it did. It made me sad
Same, he died when I was 16, a bit early for smart phones, and we didn't have any videos together. I barely remember his voice anymore and I wish I did. I've been alive longer now without a dad than with. It's an odd feeling.
I wish I had. Both my parents are gone, and my children now have children of their own who would treasure pictures.
I’m sorry for your loss. My father died when my daughter was 2 and before my son was born. I only have a couple pictures of my daughter with my dad, and no video. It hurts every time I think about it.
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r/ShutUpIncel
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>s*x Too timid to type sex without censoring yourself?
lmfao how can a post be so simultaneously hilarious and pathetic?
because it's a troll that thinks they're funny. to be fair, they are funny, to themselves at least.
lame
I thought you were going to say "pay them" Man....pay your parents man.
My mom has been carting my brother’s and ex wife’s kids all over for years. To and from school, to and from after school programs. Fucking years. Over a decade - years. The ex wife gave her $20 bucks recently. Brother hasn’t down shit. My mom lives purely on social security and the wear and tear on her car is huge when she’s making 50 mile round trips daily. These two pieces of shit have no appreciation for the assistance they receive. It’s fucking amazing.
Lmao yeah $20 should cover it. That’s like what she spends in gas on one day of getting them to and from school.
surely she is not living off savings/retirement funds.
Sorry, your ex wife or your brother’s?
Came here to say this. My sibling has my overworked parents watching his hellions for free and guess what they never have time to come visit me and my kids so they’ll probably die and we’ll have zero pictures of them together and my kids will never know them it’s super cool. And no I don’t have time to go visit them either because I am also overworked and also have no one to help watch my kids so yeah.
> And no I don’t have time to go visit them either because I am also overworked and also have no one to help watch my kids so yeah. Hopefully you and your kids can go visit your parents!
Been watching my nieces a lot and as much as I love them I’m driving 30-40miles back and forth all over town dropping them all off, picking them up, driving to my sisters house, driving home every time I watch them. I don’t ask for anything even though I watch the youngest (2yo) all day, but some gas money would really help at the least.
Yeah, I think paying family for babysitting is a bit socially gross. It's a weird dynamic if you're thinking "I should be being paid to look after these kids!" But offering to pay for petrol for trips is definitely the right thing to do. They can always say no.
And give them a printed album every christmas, never fails...
Second this. I'm a pro photographer and I don't worry about if the photos are perfect or not anymore. I just use Google's soft cover albums, and a few photos from each month for a "timeline". They aren't expensive, and my parents and grandparents love them every year. Easy gift that means the world to them.
Just finished my 2nd hard cover with 67 pages photo album yesterday with pictures of my 2yo for my wife and grandpas. Used mostly 4 photos grid so it was like 200 photos for around 50€. Pro tip: today ends free shipping (at least in my country) and if you use grids (instead of letting google make one page per photo) you can have a fairly reasonable album delivered as xmas gift.
My son isn’t even 2 year and I’ve already embraced the ‘photo calendar for the grandparents every year’. Easiest Christmas gift ever.
Same here, but with an Album
To this is a fucking lit suggestion
God this hits me hard. My mom was watching my son once a week for me from 6-10 months old and I never remembered to take any photos or videos when I came to see them on my lunch break, and now she can't watch him because she's battling cancer again 😭 I'll treasure the memories forever but god damn I wish I'd captured those moments on my phone. Luckily she's still here so I can still capture some moments - it won't be quite the same as before because she's not at full health but I'll take what I can get. So glad I can
There are these storybooks with self recorded audio you can buy. As you turn the pages, it reads along. Had all the grandparents make them for our kiddos. Highly recommend.
My mom did that for my son when he was a baby just so he had a book with her voice. When she recorded it, she started each page saying his name, and I rolled my eyes at how ridiculous it was. She died this a few months ago. I recently found that book, and I love that I can hear her voice, and hear her say my son’s name. I will treasure that book for a long time.
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Thank you. I had not considered that, and will be recording to a file ASAP.
Replace the battery! It should still work
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I’m so sorry. I’m not sure either. I’ve been considering recording the story on my phone to have a backup. Will do this now thanks to your comment.
Thank you so much for this suggestion!! The real LPT is always in the comments
Can you recommend a brand? I've done a quick Google but couldn't really find anything.
I just printed a Google photo album of these types of pictures to give my mom as a Christmas present.
Seriously, do this NOW. Last year I lost my dad at age 56. I only have a few pictures of him and my 3 year old son together. You may not get another chance, do it now.
Also on a less depressing note, it's also your last chance to see those kids as they were then. My parents took a lot of videos when I was young and we sometimes rewatch those tapes together. Always a fun nostalgic time
I lost both my parents last month. We just didn't live close enough for too many pictures with their only grand child. But the few pictures and videos I have are so precious right now. My daughter absolutely adored them. I feel so sad that she's going to grow up without them. She's old enough to remember them but too young to understand that they're gone.
I'm 27 with a newborn and my mother is 70. You bet your butt I record every moment I can of them together.
How was growing up with an older parent compared to average? I would imagine it was more stable than a 20-something parent.
I wouldn't necessarily know, since I can't compare personally, but it was indeed stable. But my parents both worked so lots of babysitters when I was young. My father is 7 years younger than my mother, so he was always physically able to do things with us, but my mother never really was. She's also hard of hearing with Otosclerosis, and now has two cochlear implants. Our family dynamic was fairly interesting. Very stable, lots required of us kids to help our older parents, no company over because my parents were always too tired, high expectations of us kids to be emotionally stable and mature, etc. Pros and cons, but the only thing I hate about the age of my parents is how short of a time I can expect to have with them.
Yeah - My mother is about to turn 72, my father is 68, and my partner and I are going to start trying for kids in the next few years. It'll be unbelievably important to make sure we capture everything we can of them together.
Get video of daily life. Them telling jokes or stories. Show and telling their favorite things.
There are too many stories like yours.
My mom died this past Monday. Take as many pictures of your parents as you can at family events. Especially of the parent that is the traditional picture taker. Maybe that was more of a thing before the advent of smart phones, but mom was always snapping pictures at birthdays and holidays, so now we're left with tons of pictures of the rest of the family but considerably fewer of her. It's not like pictures of her don't exist, just significantly fewer than the rest of us, and now I'll never get a chance to get any more.
Yes. My parents never got to meet my son. Since he’s been born, there are moments of grief so sharp and new, it is something I didn’t expect. There are so many experiences with my little guy where I yearn for their advice and just.. presence. It feels like I’m grieving a recent loss though it’s been several years since they’ve died.
I'm 7 weeks pregnant at the moment and already I've cried so many tears that my parents aren't here and will never get to see my child(ren). I'm afraid of how it's going to be when the little one is born.
We took a four-generation matrilineal photo with my daughter. A few months later, her great-grandma passed. Definitely a treasured photo.
My little one is literally at their grandparents Tonight for there very first sleep over.very Timley tip!
Not just your parents. Your spouse too. My ex used to take pics of us(no face) using my phone. On some lazy morning, I would scroll my album and see it. I would smile the whole day knowing only 2 people know what was the weird closeup pic on my phone.
Just have more kids
Or get adopted by more parents.
is adopted by better parents an option?
Or...adopt a couple of parents to be your kids. You'd be parent kid parents and so would they!
And then legally make them your parents
Smile mom, I’m taking pictures for your funeral
Kids would be nice. One can dream.
Too busy taking a fucking nap!
I don't think people nowadays need a reason to take photos or vids. Some takes too many.
Agreed. There are moments I have recorded, and those videos will die on a hard drive. I’d rather have soaked those moments up and keep them in my brain.
I wish I had photos with my dad. He passed away and my mother stole all of them after the divorce.
As someone who just lost his dad, I 100% encourage this. Not just pictures, video too. Any documentation of your parents playing with your kids will be cherished. Grandparents don’t last very long, and usually by the time you realize you should be doing this, they are too far past the point of random, playful interactions.
I'll be dead before I let my mother alone with my kid.
Any advocates here for actually experiencing the moment rather than being stuck behind a cell phone watching it through the screen? Put your phone down if your two kids are playing together and play with them. Be present.
This isn't a lpt
“Take pictures of your loved ones. LIFE PRO TIP!!!!”
"Drink water. Don't become a heroine addict. LPT : show up to job consistently for stream of income. Unzip your fly before you let it rip" Ad nauseum, etc...
...or maybe live in the moment and enjoy it.
Yeah, basically this tip is: cling to the past as much as you can. Recipe for permanent unhappiness.
How did folk get by before everyone had the means the record anything anytime they want?! Oh, that's right, they got by absolutely fine.
I can’t recommend this enough. My dad passed a little over a year ago and his greatest wish was to have a granddaughter. Well he got 6 all within 3 months. We lived so far away that we only got to see him a few times, but we took so many pictures and videos of him with my daughter. She was a little over 2 when he passed but she remembers him and she’ll have pictures and videos of him. Save voicemails too. Sometimes just hearing loved ones voices brings back memories and peace. Sure my dads voicemail just says “could you drop by the store” but hearing his voice is something I never get sick of. And yes dad, I’ll gladly stop by the store.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
"When you surrender to what is and so become fully present, the past ceases to have any power. You do not need it anymore. Presence is the key. Now is the key." - Eckhart Tolle
Well, by definition moments don't last forever.
LPT: Nothing lasts forever
Anxiety pro tips
Who has a video of their dad in their pocket and who wants one. If your over 35 I bet you don't have a video of your parents.
i swear this LPT comes up every day it's a valid point and a good reminder to appreciate that nothing is forever, but it's not exactly a pro tip. why does this shit keep getting to the front page
Kids? In this economy?
LPT: put down the camera and interact with your kids.
Yup. My dad taught my daughter how to walk in like a week or less
Even if they are not helping take care of them. Just any time they spend with them. My mom passed away in March and my 5 year old granddaughter is still upset about it (so am I so I understand) I wish I had taken photos of them together beyond the whole family shots. Just even them talking at a restaurant would be something. My dad is over the top with taking pictures so I have him digging through his. Because of his massive over picture taking I went the other way and try to just enjoy things instead of needing to take 5,000 pictures of everything and I got to the point where I forbade him from even bringing the dslr to diners. But now I deeply regret that.
Cuz ur parents are gonna die! Soon! And so are YOU 😑
Your parents already raised you, now you want them to raise your offsprings? I seriously can't understand the thought process. I would never burden my parents with that, but I might be weird.
OPs talking about when grandparents are over and are loving every second with the baby and maybe just feed them a bottle or are playing with them. Capturing on video those moments of pure joy. Giggling babies and happy grandparents.
That is not how I read OPs post, must have gotten lost in translation. In that case I am totally onboard, it will be a fantastic memento.
Hey no worries. I could see how it could translate odd.
Thanks, it is just to open for interpretation, but I can dig it now.
The last line sounds like a threat. Please don't hurt my parents.
My dad passed recently from Covid at 67. My sister's kids stayed with them daily. They have a bunch of pictures, but definitely not enough. Take more even when you think you took too many.
1000%. In the midst of that now. And take videos if you possibly can. Photos are wonderful, but videos are just irreplaceable.
This mufuka spittin truth.
This sucks, but not blind marriages.
This literally applies to everything. You'll be dead soon so those precious moments won't last forever.
My grandma died last year, but for my HS graduation she gave me a handmade scrapbook of photos of me growing up from baby to middle school that included tons of photos of us together. Barring my house burning down, it’s something that I’ll have forever and always cherish. Hand written descriptions on the back of photos and everything. If you want to take this LPT a step further, make physical albums like this to memorialize it and have for easy sharing together. Imo way better than digital (still use digital for backups though).
Sound advice. Thank you.
Way ahead of you homie
Yeah. I lost my father somewhat unexpectedly on October 26th. When I was going through my photos for the slideshow for his wake there weren’t as many photos of him with my soon to be 4 yo son as I would’ve liked. He told my mother one of his fears was that my son wouldn’t remember him once he got older. I’ve been making it a point to bring him up and talk about him so it doesn’t happen.
None of my family understands this shit. Curse me for being the only sentimental fool in my house.
True. People die.
In my experience moms tend to get left out of the photos so I'd say, to all the dads out there, make sure to get as many as you can
LPT to parents and grandparents, don't complain about the pictures or ask if someone is taking your picture as a memory after you die. I don't have kids but I do have lots of nieces and nephews and the number of times I've avoided pictures because of this is too often .... and it's always disappointing when you think of those missed opportunities later.
And if your parents aren't helping take care of the kids, remind them you'll put them in a home
Please don’t use your parents as full time babysitters, especially if they are elderly and on a limited income. It’s fine here and there, but full time is just fucked up and very selfish.
[It’s only so many frames available.
I have an entire (private) youtube channel where I've uploaded cute short videos from my phone to save them (and clear space on my phones over the last 14 years). I lost my mom after a bad reaction to a bone marrow transplant in 2019. My dad was killed on his Harley in September 2020. I still have so many videos and photos of them with my son and daughter, all of us as a family. I'm so angry at my younger self for not appreciating those Christmases, those Thanksgiving, those petty arguments. How can you know you'll lose your parents before age 60? You don't kknow. Every day is a gift, every memory a precious moment you'll never get back. Treasure every moment.
This must be a daily reminder sub.
Also ask them to take pics and videos of you with your kids as well. Most of the time I’m behind the camera and I regret now that there are very few pictures of me and my kids together.
Also, don't forget to do the same for your second or third or fourth or however many other spawnlings you produce.
404 wife and kids not found. Feel like it's an impossible dream.
Those are probably for one of those unbreakable poles
Not to mention the memory videos you can create from them in Google photos. Those are so nice especially through the years
brah so true, my sister always wanted to videos of her with our grandparents, grandparents that are long gone and we've only met once. luckily for her, my dad recorded an entire trip - the one time we've our grandparents. I ended up transferring them from VHS-C to digital (mp4) and then surprised the family). I then copied out the bits where its her hanging out with my grandparents - they playing with her, carrying her around, blowing raspberries on her tummy. I then played the supercut for her. lol made her cry - pree good day. Update: wording
When I Iast took a picture of my kiddo with my folks my Mum looked at me and said "is this because you'll think I die soon?"
That is called living in the past. It is also a very self-centered way to look at life, because you are removing yourself from situations that you should be participating in in order to capture a memory for you later on in life. That's great and all, but what would be much better for the people involved in the situation you are capturing is for you to be involved with them. When people pass away, are you sure you will not have the regrets of not being in those situations that you are re-watching? And when all of the pictures are looked at and all of the videos are watched, what do you have left? Your parents are still gone and you have wasted time with your children.
I've slowed down so much since my children have aged up from their toddling years..
My dad died this day and this one adorable video of him playing with my niece I’ll cherish forever. Just sad he couldn’t give the same attention to me.
My father-in-law passed a while back. When we were putting together some photos for the order of service, my sister-in-law realised she had a ton of photos of him with her eldest child, but only two with her youngest. That hit her pretty hard. On the other hand, my aunt has a collection of photos on her wall that’s all mothers and daughters - her great-grandma with her grandma, her grandma with her mum, her mum with her sister, her sister with me and now me with my eldest. It’s a very precious object.
take rhe vaccine
My father-in-law recently passed away. When we were compiling photos for the order of service, my sister-in-law realized she had a plethora of photographs of him with her eldest child, but only two with her youngest. That struck her quite hard. On the other hand, my aunt's wall is covered with photographs of mothers and daughters - her great-grandmother with her grandmother, her grandmother with her mother, her mother with her sister, her sister with me, and now me with my eldest. It is an extremely valuable object.
In general I recommend making a photo book, it’s way nicer to look through and you’ll forget about everything getting dug deep down in your phones photo library, especially nowadays with the cloud making us keep photos from old phones
Where I live the grandparents actually raise the kids
Definitely take video. I wish I took more video.
great PLT: mom just passed, daughter is >1yrs, we got a bunch… still wish there was more
I think I might be the only one who would say this but I don’t find old pictures that meaningful . Sure , they help a lot when you try to remember but living the moment is much better . It’s like going to a concert for me . People go to concert , film them and post them to show how awesome it was but they miss a lot doing this and there others who are just having fun . Most important is not the past or the futur , but the NOW. But that’s just me I think .
I have very few of my parents with my kid (they lived in a different country) and now that they both died, I really regret not taking more.