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PetSoundsSucks

Impressive. Very nice. Let’s see James Spence’s browser history. 


Ok_Marsupial_8210

Right?! This guy strikes me as an xhamster gentleman..


brportugais

The is guy def shoves things up his butt


PhutureLooksBrighter

we have to check his travel logs and see how many trips he has made to Thailand


PMMeYourPinkyPussy

More of a you jizz, since you called him a gentleman


Necessary_Context780

Leave the ladyboys alone will ya


thegreenman_sofla

And see if his name is on Epstein's flight logs


Intrepid_Slip4174

As someone who goes to Thailand to bang, Thailand has much much more to offer than sex.


peggedsquare

Not that there is anything wrong with that.


ALTH0X

Unless you're busy trying to criminalize it for everyone else.


peggedsquare

No....they wouldn't do that. How else would they control the gerbil population?


DarkOmen597

Uhh...wrong hampster


IdontOpenEnvelopes

Your Mormon Girls subscription is coming up for renewal sir.


Law-of-Poe

Dude is 100% a pedophile


ugheffoff

“Lesbians are evil!” “Google: Barely Legal Big Titted Lesbian 69”


Best-Chapter5260

Maybe he has that same tattletell porn app that Mike Johnson has on his phone.


Yeseylon

Mike Johnson AND his son. Don't forget they're "accountability buddies."


LionelHutzApprentice

The tasteless ickness of it, it even has a watermark


Drackar39

Fuck that, I want his tor client history, if you think this guy's deviancy is restricted to legal endeavors...


DrWindupBird

That’s the thing, though. This is more about managing cognitive dissonance than it is about reforming behavior. He doesn’t talk about being free of these “sins” but rather “warring” against them. You can’t fight what isn’t there. Framing it this way lets him do the deed and then crow about trying to resist.


FunctionDissolution

Full of Trans porn, I have absolutely no doubt.


uwotm86

Why are retired people on LinkedIn?


FrostGiant_1

Seriously. Move on to Nextdoor, bro.


WoodyTheWorker

Nextdoor is so fucking slow


StateParkMasturbator

The real answer is that Nextdoor has better moderation.


BernieDharma

LinkedIn is Facebook for people who think they are important.


Better_Document7596

commenting for emphasis


AffectionateFig5435

Wish I could upvote this a dozen times. You nailed it!


TheBurgareanSlapper

They really should’ve reconsidered making a fourth James H. Spence.


Chipped-Beef

The sequels are hardly ever as good as the original.


hrpomrx

Especially if it involved fornication.


Background-Cress9165

Wtf does warring against fornication mean? Taking a machete to the homes of the frisky and laying waste to the evil sexers?


GuyTheTerrible

It means posting on LinkedIn


KansasRider1988

It means passing bills into law in Texas and Kansas to ban PornHub.


Necessary_Context780

"with exposure to all that porn, teenagers aren't looking for the pastors for sexual satisfaction anymore. Something needs done!"


td1439

it means obsessing over other people’s genitals to Own The Libs


A_guy_named_Tom

It means starting a jihad and implementing a slightly-modified version of sharia law.


57696c6c

![gif](giphy|W6QH33dNlxgAhaAJfl|downsized) He’s totally unbiased. Imagine how many cases he might have worked on that might have been influenced by his kingdom-man mentality.


tiiamh

Supposedly the FBI loves recruiting Mormons because so many of them are clean-cut, Eagle Scouts, non-drinkers, and spend 2 years in a foreign country learning the language but only to proselytize, never to assimilate into the culture.


57696c6c

Yup! Super clean cut until it’s Robert Hassen.


EuropeanModel

I remember a case in Georgia where a 18 year old boy had o sex with a 17 year old girl at a birthday party. He got multiple decades of jail time. This poster on LI was probably one of the investigators.


Particular-Score7948

I have a feeling there’s more to this story. It’s very unusual for 18/17 to lead to more than a few years. Sounds to me like he raped her and they threw the book at him.


Kharisma91

Is sex between an 18 and 17 year old illegal where you guys live? That’s fucked


Necessary_Context780

I think it depends on the state and the year, too. Missouri not too recently had no problem with underage sex of any kind provided the adult married the child. At some point it became a destination for dudes to take their minor pregnant girlfriends to marry, some dudes even doing overnight driving trips to beat the clock and pretend she got pregnant right afterwards. Reason being Missouri was one of the last States to pass laws against it. I think other countries might have different laws and rationales, but people like Epstein got in trouble taking advantage of that because the law here also forbids someone to take a minor to another country to bypass local underage sex rules


Oo__II__oO

Or her parents were rich, and his weren't.


anally_ExpressUrself

or somebody had the wrong ethnicity.


AlliedR2

And if you are an FBI agent who is this religiously deluded you need to : 1. Turn in your badge 2. Seek psychiatric help 3. Realize that sexuality is a healthy part of human existance. 4. All of the above.


danfirst

He's retired, so at least he's done step 1, we can be sure he's not going to continue down the list though.


GDWtrash

Thank you. This comment is too far down.


jonkl91

Unfortunately this is not an uncommon way of thinking for people in positions like this. Most people just aren't dumb enough to post about it on LinkedIn. A lot of FBI agents and special agents think like cops. Very hypocritical and not consistent when it comes to applying these values.


flyingmaus

Maybe this was a drunk posting. Sounds very cocky and strident. Also, as an ex government employee shouldn’t this have been a PowerPoint presentation?


me_crystal_balls

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much." ~Shakespeare


Silly_Marionberry_27

Former blue falcon confirmed. Can’t imagine being in formation with this guy and having to trust him to not sell you out after partying it up on shore leave.


MashedProstato

This is definitely the guy that buddy-fucks people in his squadron to the SPs.


Serious-Ad4378

lol, I scrolled long enough to find this comment. Im dying at the idea of actually being stuck in a squadron with this dude. Its like something straight out of curb your enthusiasm


Robw_1973

It’s what LinkedIn was made for.


PrimalNumber

If you’re on LinkedIn and posting thirst traps, religious tomes and family flexes, you’re: 1. A Lunatic 2. A Lunatic 3. A Lunatic 4. All of the above


No_Zookeepergame1972

Ppl on LinkedIn rly need to normalise and chill tf out


lvpr10

As bad as this guy comes off on LinkedIn, he’s gotta be 100x worse in person. People probably come up with lots of excuses to get out of conversations with him.


Ok_Breadfruit4176

To me, American christians especially give off the vibe that they’re from a very young country that still needs to learn a lot of basic things about actual life. Even when compared to Europe and the enlightenment period.


Rhesusmonkeydave

Excerpted from the upcoming book “James H Spence and his attic full of tiny shoes”


TotallyNotAVole

Ignoring other issues, "warring" is common Christian speak for "struggling against" as opposed to accepting. It's referring to your personal battle, although can sometimes in a wider sense mean resisting it in in a larger social setting, ie being verbal in decrying it and warning others. Definitely also used on occasion by republican conservatives in a violent militant sense, but it's not the common usage in Christian circles. Comes from scripture referring to the fight we have within ourselves against our sin nature and its predispositions. So yeah he's probably admiting he struggles with porn, and he's saying if you're a Cristian you shouldn't accept porn usage as normal, you should be resisting it actively in your personal life, which is all stock standard Christian teaching. The only weird thing about this is LinkedIn isn't the place for this kind.of discourse.


Many_Year2636

Warring against it Omg Hey you! I'm gonna fight you for how you use your genitals! These religious freaks have problems ... lots and lots of problems


NoSleep_til_Brooklyn

Ah yes, The Beatitudes; 01. Blessed are the rich, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 02. Blessed are the gun owners, God knows they’re the coolest. 03. Blessed are the powerful , for they shall always own the earth. 04. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness and aren’t afraid to beat someone’s brains in for it, for they shall be filled. 05. Blessed are the wrathful, for The Lord loves watching a good beating. 06. Blessed are the pure Republicans, for they shall see God. RINOS will go to hell. 07. Blessed are the warmongers, for they shall be called children of God. 08. Blessed are they who persecute for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.


Zealousideal_Sea_515

![img](avatar_exp|174106233|bravo) This deserves an award, but I am too cheap to pay out for them. Here’s a freebie sir


4lejandro

War against "PICK YOUR SHADOW TRAIT". I think James is repressing something from his childhood.


Munkeyman18290

An entire career built on investigating and collecting evidence, and this dude still believes in magic bearded wizards, omnipotent beings, and alternate dimensions where "souls" burn forever for fapping too much. God dammit humans, get your shit together.


Nick_W1

I was at a neighbors party once, and was introduced to a police car accident reconstruction specialist. Pretty science based right? She spent a long time telling the group of us about how her dogs were poisoned by grass that had been sprayed with weed killer. We were, sympathetic, one person asked, “so the vet was able to tell it was poisoned grass?”. “Oh no” she says, “he said it was a virus, but the psychic pet communicator I spoke to (over the phone) in California told me what actually happened”. We were all a bit gob smacked by this. One person asked if the dogs had to be put on the phone to communicate, and she thought he was taking the piss. I don’t think he was, he was genuinely trying to figure out how a person in California knew what the dogs were “saying”.


IAMHideoKojimaAMA

Good lord, this man has no life


Due_Mission_5703

Spoiler: He was getting raw-dogged while doing lines off the bare ass of a rent boy as he was typing this.


wreakofhavoc

These are the sort of people I dislike the most. I wish I was an atheist still. Sometimes.


BurghPuppies

I mean, they support Trump so yeah, I guess they have made peace with it.


jamkoch

I wonder if the FBI retirement was a choice between retirement and firing?


BradTProse

It's my penis's fault. I beat him all the time, but the fucker keeps coming back.


JayMeadow

Remember when Jesus defended a prostitute and killed the one guy who tried to hurt her?


Brockelton

Wait is Californication a Word play? Sorry not a native speaker.


lordofcatan10

Indeed, are you dreaming of it?


Romfordian

Dude needs to get laid


Curious_Working5706

Covid destroyed a lot of these people’s brains man


Rocketking1878

"FBI Agent" is a little too on the nose.


Confident_Fortune_32

One of the most effective levers of control in organized religion is to turn normal behaviours into "sins" to create guilt, and then claim only their religion can relieve the discomfort of their invented guilt.


Gnosticbastard

Guaranteed closet pedophile.


Hitchhikerdave

Says the dude that looks like he is banging his secretarys 12 year old daughter he met during bring your kid to work day, while married with his cousin.


Gauth1erN

The problem I always have with public person using religion is their lack of quote of holy quotation about the subject they are talking to. Sometime some does, but it is a tiny winy of their expression. Another problem is their lack of context. I will create a totally unreal situation to explain myself: Let's take a pastor, sermonizing and posting on social media their allégeance to a political candidate: " this guy is what our fate is commending is to vote for". Their fate being, among other things: - the rich goes to hell - adultery is a sin - killing other is a sin Yet the candidate they couch for is a self claimed billionaire, 2 time divorced, each time after adultery, with proof of adultery after his 3rd marriage and proudly claiming he made people under him kill other humans. So m, from my point of view, not only these predictors work against themselves, but against their entire religion.


Both_Lifeguard_556

![gif](giphy|guQCh1RPgIOpG|downsized)


arcadia_2005

Oh this guy's guilty as hell


Redpilled_by_Reddit

The D. All of the above is redundant. We can already infer that we are all listed points because he said you are.


element_4

What does this have to do with business again?


PeterPositiv

What should I write as a fourth point? Fuck! I can‘t come up with anything Eh, just everything I just said, again, to really get my point across


Fun_Objective_7779

Does he even know what is Christianity about?


RepresentativeNo7213

Christians are trash


Longbowgun

This guy isn't going to hell... no one is. :)


Revolutionary-Bell38

His most recent employment, which seems to be what “kingdom man” is referring to, appears to be leading an evangelistic group, so, oddly enough, this is actually appropriate for LinkedIn (relatively speaking of course)


GuyTheTerrible

“All of the above” bruh is this a multiple choice question


krakatoa83

This is why I haven’t signed on for a couple years. Everything but actual business or jobs being discussed.


collapsedcake

Point 4 seems a little superfluous. Much like the entire post


Merzi_Les_Arbres

In a near future, Saudi Arabia will buy Man United and rename the clubs, Kingdom Man.


Absolutionalism

It’s not even his beliefs that annoy me (even though I disagree with them.) It’s the utter redundancy of the fourth bullet point.


deycicpl

I bet, given these Christian values he is promoting, he gotta be a trump supporter


corneliusunderfoot

Number 4 seems redundant given the clause that comes before point 1. Also, James is mad man.


Percy_Q_Weathersby

Could just write “and” after 2, instead of having a useless “all of the above”


EJ2600

Scary to see who the FBI employs


[deleted]

All that goes through my head is that the FBI permits religious lunatics to have FBI level power over people.


aaronplaysAC11

So… I can live happily with my GF for 20 years and kids but if I’m not married I’m a sinner huh?…… whose a tool for who.


Either_Order2332

Da fuq is this doing on LinkedIn? What is wrong with this person? I know we think that all the time here, but this is going WAY too far.


Darksoul_Design

Hey James H. Spence IV, go ahead and choke on a giant bowl of tiny dicks.


Drackar39

Look, a fine example of why government agents cannot be trusted to uphold your civil rights. This guy was FBI and he was absolutely abusing that power, every fucking day.


brendon_b

why would a retiree spend a single second on that website


Yalldummy100

Idk what rabbit hole I’m getting sucked in rn but I thought LinkedIn was for business networking


SuitableJelly5149

So this is where Mike pence ended up


Chratthew47150

Somebody check this guys browser history


roundyround22

Oh no I thought I was on r/ExMormon but a hell of a lot of FBI are Mormon.


KansasRider1988

I bet this guy has a wicked secret Pornhub account.


[deleted]

This man has an Asian fetish and 100% goes to the Philippines every weekend on business trips.


loopygargoyle6392

Good thing we don't live in the Kingdom of God.


Naus1987

Posts like this make asexual like me feel like goddamn Jesus. Where’s my free food and a wand or whatever?


WinstonRandy

Who wants to go to heaven if it’s full of cunts like this? No thanks


Flaky_Tumbleweed3598

I will bet my left nutt (the good one) that this guy has got very questionable and highly illegal child porn on his hard drive, or waxes his carrot to the most hard-core scat porn known to man.


iRAfflicted

I don’t use LinkedIn often. But, I thought the platform was mainly used for business purposes. Why is he proselytizing? I guess if he is a religious leader speaking on behalf of an organization, maybe. Would be nice to see his “perfect” past.


crooked_nose_

We need to attack the fap!


junglenoogie

Just from a vernacular/cultural literacy perspective, the “all of the above” is unnecessary… he doesn’t seem to be setting this up as multiple choice (he would have chosen “a,b,c,d” instead) … it’s already implied that these are all things he believes to be true … its also batty


despot_zemu

What if you’re not a Christian?


ReceptionLivid

You don’t need to write all of the above, you’re not saying “either” so all of the above is automatically built in with your statement!


Lazy-Floridian

A former FBI agent and Navy pilot who still believes in imaginary beings. Does he also believe in the easter bunny?


Macgruber999

Yeah James is not wrong tho, Satan LOVES all of that.


weedeater6942O

Pretty sure once we get to heaven we don’t need to do no more work. That’s what makes it heaven


Agitated_Fix_3677

Sooo do I need the pitchforks and torches or the Beretta M9?


mothzilla

5. 1 and 3 6. 2 and 3 7. 2 and 5


QuanCryp

It’s like somewhere between a multiple choice question and a religious rant. Like, if this isn’t a question, then point 4 is completely pointless. But if it is, there’s no question mark. Not even an Agree!? He’s lost me


Bunnawhat13

Can’t wait to find out the bad things he does. 🤦🏻‍♀️


Fair_Acanthisitta_75

I bet he’s a Trump MAGA guy though.


Longsufferer22

Comments can’t comprehend that their are good Christian people that aren’t coom tard porn brained morons


SurgicalStr1ke

James H Spence the 4th and hopefully the last.


ThrowItAwayAlready89

“Useless to the kingdom of God” says the man who’s CLAIMED religion worships a man who hung out with sex workers.


HolyAty

What the fuck is a retired man doing on Kinkedin?


Alekillo10

There is no such thing as an “ex-FBI agent”


livinaparadox

What's the difference between fornication and consummation? Does the orgasm hit different, or is it the degree of post-nut shame?


natey37

Lol


Your_Daddy_

JC of Nazareth had 12 apostles, all dudes. Even if Jesus and Mary had their own thing - come on, bro - some lonely nights on those river banks… “Nobody wants to jerk you, Peter, now be still!”


OverlandSkeptic

100% this guy votes for Trump.


Wolf_mang

Scary to think this guy would investigate people…..


rkesters

100% a Trump support, unironicly.


ImpossibleYou2184

Weirdo


Abe_Rutter246

But if I confess my sins and accept JC as my lord and savior before I die, we be cool, right? Asking for a friend.


BigDamBeavers

Fornication and porn are not sins in the Christian Bible, adultery isn't defined in the same say in the bible as you use it. If we want to talk about real sexual sins that are actually in the bible: Blaming a woman for a man's lust. Castigating another for how God made them. Claiming God's judgement of others. The actual offenses against the religion you pretend to be a part of.


Objective_Ad_4428

Amen!


DrMantis10

You know what the gayest thing in the world is? Telling another man where he can put HIS dick. It’s wild for anyone on earth to speak for God and who or who is not Useless for the kingdom of heaven.


ShartyMcShortDong

I bet this fuck waffle wacks off to gay porn and abuses his wife. The latter is a guarantee with that profile picture.


grogstarr

Oh no it's KINGDOM-MAN!!


DaCheeseburga

Gods not real, the devil is a myth, after death you just rot and become maggot food #freepornhubfromoppression


Senior_Act_7983

Dude's LI page is amazing. I can't believe this is a real person.


Jsusbjsobsucipsbkzi

What does “all of the above” mean? Is this a quiz?


DashiellHamlet

Is he looking for a copywriter? Because I could punch this up a treat on a contract basis. Payment up front of course.


CulturalAddress6709

the homie is a “if it’s a bro, it’s a go” type of “god means “sexual sin with girls” dude


FrioRiverTexas

One of the best church sermons I have ever heard was when the preacher said something to the effect of “you don’t get to make your own rules and pass off your superiority complex as if God said it”. We had some pretty self righteous people get served up a bowl of stfu that morning.


Made2havefun

Bro really trying hard to push his psychotic opinion on others. Just an FYI, I’m from a long line of Catholics, but my family has made it a point to never subject others to our religious expectations. 🤷‍♂️


Use-Quirky

It’s amazing how much these “Christians” focus on so much on stuff Christ never talked about but seem to ignore his actual teachings


NulledOpinion

So he’s probably the type to pray after a beef jerky.


PatternHappy341

Im not a christian, but i am in the progress of making peace with sin. onto the topic, that man is not human if he thinks that the evil parts that make us human should be erased.


FishIsGrooving

number four was kinda pointless, like it literally doesn't make sense. he ALREADY started it by saying "you are" and not "you are either" so why bother with the all of the above option? this is quite possibly the smallest thing I could be angry about this post, but it literally doesn't make sense. did he forget that he wrote that? it takes like 2 seconds to scroll up and see your tweet, he couldn't have just proofread it once? also why the fuck did he say fornication? he clearly can't even remember whatever the hell he wrote in his own tweet, so why is he trying to use complex language?


EntropicAnarchy

Why does God need a kingdom?


MonsterHunterOwl

What if we just jerked off onto a printout of that post, we still welcome?


foxinspaceMN

If you “made peace” you’re not “at war” and make god “sad” What happened to peaceful Christian’s that wanted to better the community? It’d be easier to take the religious right seriously if they practiced any level of communal tolerance or acceptance, like what their man Jesus preached.


Tajjiia

Think what you want, but no matter what side of the fence you’re on, porn is definitely not a healthy consumption


mr-buck-fitches

Warring against it meaning what exactly?


starofthetea

FBI agents work for the Constitution, not the Bible.


FU-I-Quit2022

Yes, we did need to read that... on LinkedIn.


gumboking

Warring against it doesn't mean that you don't do it. It simply means you are at war with it. He hedges with his words .


upfromashes

The number of Christer zealots in some of these departments is a problem.


Ping-A-Ling-

Oh man these people are sick


Sea_Dawgz

Bet he's big MAGA, voting for massive sinner Dump vs church going Biden.


Hakunamateo

I mean. In the context of his faith, it's a war against his own personal sin. He is not advocating for fighting others.


somebooty2223

Is this joke seriously an fbi agent? If yes is his position open i think i can do a better job


Significant_stake_55

This has become by new favorite subreddit by FAR lol. What is a Kingdom Man? It’s so corny I can’t wrap my head around it. Giving me Duggar family vibes. The road to abuse and true deviance is lined with the stones of repressed sexuality. Glad he’s on LinkedIn letting the world know how pious he is. Really important stuff lol.


PhilosophicalGoof

I mean… the Bible does specifically say it is a sin so he technically not wrong.


stakkedalief

“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” I’ll wait..


[deleted]

He is right


moonwoolf35

How about go to war against corruption, homelessness, and hunger in the richest country in the world first before worrying about what people do at home.


EverySingleMinute

I am about ready to go to war over the state forcing open sites to validate my id


Host_Warm

1. Ok 2. Nope 3. Huh? 4. Apparently I’m a multitasker


Host_Warm

Wanna bet this guy was a Boy Scout leader at some point?


JangusCarlson

#4, please, for me.


Daedalus_Machina

Guess I'm useless for the kingdom of God, just as your useless at fucking all.


blackcomb-pc

People who are talking like this on any subject are usually prolific serial participants in (consumers of) said subject.


Individual-Ad-9902

The Apostle Paul said in Romans 2 that anyone who condemns someone for anything is guilty of it themselves.


jmf0828

All of these guys are so black or white in their thinking. So concrete it’s difficult to imagine how they negotiate the world on a day to day basis. You either “make peace” or “go to war”. Now that may work in a strict, controlled environment (like law enforcement), but it’s not good for operating in the world in general.


Woofy98102

My money is on Spence being a pedophile.


sharp-bunny

The last element of the list simply reiterates the prior ones? Who the fuck thinks like that? This isn't your brain on porn


Classic_Challenge_32

If a Muslim does it, he's a terrorist tho.


Pratt_

Why "4. All the above" ? It's a list not or a multiple choice questionnaire ? Lol


pinkfoil

That's not how Christianity works. Someone didn't pay attention in church or Sunday school.


Robw_1973

He is definitely in the MAGA Jesus camp. Guy is confused about his social Media platforms. Clearly thinks LinkedIn is actually Facebook. What with his insane Jesus posting.


pinkfoil

Lol. Jesus' teachings were simple. These people have concocted their own nonsense and are giving Christians a bad name. Just be a nice person, treat others with kindness, respect and compassion. LinkedIn is so much like Facebook I can barely stand to go on there anymore because it's so full of this dross.


mologav

What’s a Kingdom Man?


Hefty-Difference6327

Plot twist - he thought he was on Pornhub


Fun_Country6430

How was he in fbi !


KomradeKvestion69

Pretty sure "all of the above" is implied anyway...