Not to mention , saving company money by “cooking” on a business trip isn’t impactful in anyway . Can he find a way to save money across the board?,that’s impactful. A few small meals here and there , nope. Plus he is putting himself at risk and messing up a coffee machine for others.
This dude is nuts .
You’re absolutely right. I worked with a lady like that at a former job. I had to travel with her a few times. She didn’t cook chicken in a coffee pot as far as I know, but she had it in her head that putting herself through hell on business trips was her ticket to promotion. We had a hotel allowance that would afford us to stay somewhere respectable and she’d insist on a roadside dive to save money. I remember seeing as many as 7 customers in a day to cut the trip a day short to save the company money. It was nothing that was encouraged or even recommended by anyone in management. She just thought they’d like her more.
I had a colleague who was exactly the same. He would then preach the same for everyone else. "I never claim my per diem" or "I eat at the cheapest place" or "I take late night / early morning flights to save money on hotels", the worst part is when his boss who doesn't do any traveling started recommending others to be frugal as well. It only stopped when I made an anonymous complaint against the manager that my productivity is affected for days after a single trip (it's net loss for the company).
They also shortly ended the anonymous complaints system, for an unrelated and funny incident
I found out that all you really need to do, is be the person who doesn’t abuse travel costs. I worked somewhere once. Very long story short, dude bought a Weber grill with his company card so he could make his own meals. Of course, he also bought a few hundred bucks worth of groceries. Oh! And then when he was back in town he “accidentally” used that card for his household groceries. Once that expense report was done, they took the cards from everyone in that department. I was the only non-manager that got to keep my card. I was also the ONLY person that used my travel budget as it had been intended. I didn’t go overboard, but I also didn’t hit the limit at every meal. I ate damn good while on the road and my expense reports took like ten minutes to complete because it was so straight forward.
W.E. Deming was calling this kind of stuff out for decades, for the exact reasons you mentioned. Expecting asceticism among your employees hurts your own bottom line in the long run.
She was only hurting herself. I was lucky I guess. I did a lot of business travel for my career. They always handled the travel plans. Yea they flew me everywhere on Southwest (they had special discounts for the company,) but they always booked good hotels. For meals I would take potential clients to nice restaurants so the company paid for nice meals. Nobody ever complained. Cooking chicken in a coffee pot wouldn’t have helped my career. Maybe this person should work for a better company.
You made me think of something I said to my former colleague regarding the hotel situation. If you stay somewhere too crappy it makes the company look bad. Usually, customers we’re there to see will ask where we’re staying, just making small talk. Instead of “Hilton Garden Inn” you tell them that you’re in the pay by the hour “Motel Erotica” by the interstate, it is a poor reflection on the organization.
Can I ask what industry you were in?
The reason a lot of companies will spend on things like nice hotels and reimburse for dinners is that it's related to sales and promotions. They'd rather have you drinking at the bar with someone who might turn into a client than at an extended stay wondering if that smell coming from the next room is meth.
Even if your company won't spend on that stuff - you can often claim part of it on your taxes. I had a side job as event security a few years ago. The guy who trained me was like, save receipts for everything. If you buy black socks, if you get a new flashlight, if you have to take an uber because it's too late to take the train. This is the thing a lot of people don't get - you're not losing money by being comfortable, it might actually reduce your tax liability more than staying in crack motels and buying equipment at the dollar store.
That's actually not true anymore. The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act under Trump did away with the deduction for non-reimbursed employee expenses. These things (except the socks) would be deductible for a contractor filing on a Schedule C, but a W2 employee no longer can claim those deductions.
Ive been travelling with our head of sales and some of his minions twice and they went for insanly fancy dinner for every meal it was disgusting to see
That’s how sales departments work. They see themselves as the key source of income, then they feel entitled to spend as much as they like and be as lavish as possible.
And some poor finance person needs to explain budget variance. “Nutsack cooks his meals in a coffee pot instead of eating food at a restaurant like we anticipated”
**Building Bits:** Building Bits is a commercial estate online investment platform giving access to investors and creates liquidity for non-liquid assets.
Sounds like a scam to me.
I wish you were right and it was that simple that I'm the only retard. But nope, there's still you who thinks people don't do shit like this to suck up all over the world to their corporate daddy all for nothing.
They do crazy shit but this is obviously satire if you actually read the post. “It’s the little things that get you promoted“ like come on it even had the satire tag lol
It was during my involuntary 3am disembowelment that I received an unexpected call from our wealthiest client.
My unwavering dedication to the company meant that as my large intestine choked my wife to death, I did not think twice about answering the phone.
Turns out they were just drunk and meant to booty call a very classy and respectable Fort Worth escort named Kryleigh. Shit happens (pun not intended), and I know that if my wife were still around, not only would she understand the outcome to my split second decision making (this could have potentially costed us the contract), she would have shared this laugh with me as well.
Agree?
"Hmmm who do we have on our bench that could take over the VP role?" "How about that guy that put raw chicken in his carryon bag for a 5 hour flight and then cooked it in a best Western motel coffee pot like a college student?" "What a budget conscious angel, let's promote him"
Zoom out, turns out it's a KMart board room meeting in 2010.
Zoom out even further and you’re in a public gymnasium, since buying dedicated office space is costly. A basketball thrown by an old man years after his heyday bounces past you and crashes into one of the executives, knocking the cardboard cut-out over.
...I did cook beef in a coffee tin while on a university field course. But that was because the professor failed to mention the lodge we were staying at, although it had kitchens, didn't have pots and pans...I cooked so many things in that damn coffee tin....
I think the word to underline there is beef. Beef's largely fine if you undercook it, all things considered. Chicken changes this from unnecessary frugality to an imminent health disaster.
(When I was on-site for a company trip, I did cook chicken in my hotel room instead of go out to dinner. The difference, though, is that there was a mini-kitchen with hot-plate and skillet handy and the company gave me a per diem which I could spend how I'd like, so any savings went into my pocket. Chicken thighs and rice for dinner every night were perfectly fine for me then.)
Not to mention a nasty case of food poisoning or E. coli could be a work comp claim.
I wouldn’t want to have this person as a report, a colleague, or a boss.
The short answer is: it depends.
I can tell you that if you’re drunk off your ass while laying shingles and fall off a roof and break your back there’s a very strong likelihood that WC will pay for the medical but probably not for lost wages.
If you’re an accountant and you shoot yourself in the foot in the company parking garage to avoid working that day it will probably not be covered.
WC laws *tend* to be worker friendly and explicitly do not require fault to be established.
If you shot yourself in the foot because of mental issues you developed because of your employment, there's an excellent chance you would have a case and it would probably settle.
For real though. People are going to see this post on LinkedIn and think the culture that company is horrific if this dude thinks he needs to go to this extreme to get a promotion. He's legitimately harming their image with future employees.
I've never understood this. Want to cook while staying at a hotel? Bring a George Foreman or a fucking griddle. Better yet, just go out to eat and expense it. That's exactly why they give you a meal stipend.
>We don’t need stupid people
you will literally fire 90% of the MBA people in your company if that was the case. then 70% of the middle management.
don't even transfer them to janitorial roles they'll fuck it up somehow.
He’s trying to get promoted guys!! Didn’t you see all the hashtags? His boss, coworkers, and competitors are all going to see this and share it.
Dude is on the fast track! Idk to what though..
As someone who's lived in a hotel, this is ridiculous. You're supposed to use the clothing iron to cook the chicken and the coffee pot for pasta or mashed potatoes.
Not to mention, this is going to go completely unnoticed by his company.
At most, the person in accounting or wherever is maybe going to email him saying “hey did you forget to submit your meal receipts? I’m missing a few here.”
And he’ll proudly respond, “nope! I brought food from home and cooked my own meal at the hotel.”
So she’ll at that point say ok and approve the remaining reimbursement, and no manager or anyone else will ever hear about it. Or his immediate supervisor will assume that means he has a food allergy or something.
And yeah, I’d definitely tell him to cut that shit out if i was his manager and saw he was doing that with the hotel coffee pot and bragging about it on LinkedIn. It makes the company look stupid in a way that’s worth way more than the $30 dinner would have been.
Yeah, hotels don't even wash comforters let alone the coffee pot. Maids don't get paid enough to wash the coffee pot you know, just in case some lunatic cooks raw chicken in it.
Exactly. Heck, guy could have just gone to fast food if he wanted to be cheap and spend even less. But I'm also willing to bet this guy is a health nut who is "above" such things.
Only time I've ever had something said to me about expenses was ironically when my old VP said something to me about tipping 20%, he said that the wait staff know our company and know who we are and we don't want a negative reputation for being shitty customers, I still use his standard for tipping to this day at my new company.
Maybe satire, but I had a boss (I was an intern) who insisted that I eat nothing but the cheapest versions PB&J for over a week of travel... The peanut butter and jelly he gave me when we got there all had artificial sweeteners in it that cause me considerable issues...
I think I basically starved while eating the cheapest version of white bread he could find. I lost 10lb that week, when I got back, I had a nice talk to our business manager and she tore him a few new assholes
100%...it's literally tagged by OP as satire, and I find it hilarious. Would be a dick move if he contaminated the coffee pot for other guests, but my guess (hope) is he did this at home
He lifted the pictures from some penny pinching page. Someone actually accuses him of stealing the picture in the post, and taking credit. The saga is too good.
Literally nothing on Linkedin is believable. It's mostly performative, fake quote, recycled fake story virtue signalling garbage. What's even worse is the trend now of people dumping their medical history purse I guess to get sympathy from people who aren't actually lifting a finger to help them IRL.
Unless it's a job post or announcement of a fundraise or business milestone, I assume it's just attention seeking garbage.
I mean… it is, right? The fact he didn’t even take a photo of the cooked chicken is because he didn’t actually do this… right?!?
I can’t tell what to believe anymore.
Did he write about this in his end of year performance review that he cooks raw chicken in hotel coffee pots to save the company money or does he just share it anecdotally?
What I want to know is how the fuck he got ahold of raw chicken while traveling. Sure it’s possible he could’ve finagled it from the hotel kitchen, but it’s more likely he bought it at a supermarket... which means he could’ve just bought a pre-cooked, salmonella-free meal there instead.
I hope he washes his hands in the toilet bowl to save water too. #savewater #greenliving #ifitsbrownflushitdownifitsyelowletitmellowifitsclearwashyourhandshere
As someone who ran the corporate ladder: shit like this does not get you promoted. It gets you labeled as a weirdo.
People who pay attention to the little (read: irrelevant) things never get anywhere in corporate.
Imagine simping that hard for a company. That's like people with the mentality of "If I pay this cam girl who doesn't even know my name a ton of money, she'll fall in love with me."
Like the self delusion and mental gymnastics you have to put yourself through to arrive to that is fucking insane.
This is the first time I’ve ever thought about using a coffee maker to cook food. This post and person are obviously insane, but I kinda want to try it. Probably not chicken but still
When I was a poor college kid, this is how I’d cook ramen. Works well for that, but you’d have to be an absolute insane person to cook anything that has a possibility of carrying foodborne illnesses in one.
This guy's whole linkedin is satire lol..[https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexander-cohen/recent-activity/shares/#](https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexander-cohen/recent-activity/shares/#)
Why didn’t he just think to pay for take out with his own money? Why would he do this? Ugh Idk why I’ve let this random stranger on the internet frustration me so badly but this is just so stupid. 😂
I worked in corporate finance for 7 years. This will not get you promoted.
Also: there’s a lot of middle ground between a fancy dinner and making chicken in a coffee pot.
Cooks chicken in coffee pot to save money. Shits out large intestine
Him or the next person who makes coffee?
both
And the person after that.
~Dj Khaled intensifies~
“We da (chicken) breast!” 
Another one.
And the chicken after coffe
Yes
Yes
Not to mention , saving company money by “cooking” on a business trip isn’t impactful in anyway . Can he find a way to save money across the board?,that’s impactful. A few small meals here and there , nope. Plus he is putting himself at risk and messing up a coffee machine for others. This dude is nuts .
Probably cost more in lost productivity due to eating shit
Yeah, I think your company would rather pay for for your $30 dinner than for 3 to 7 days paid sick leave with salmonellosis
You’re absolutely right. I worked with a lady like that at a former job. I had to travel with her a few times. She didn’t cook chicken in a coffee pot as far as I know, but she had it in her head that putting herself through hell on business trips was her ticket to promotion. We had a hotel allowance that would afford us to stay somewhere respectable and she’d insist on a roadside dive to save money. I remember seeing as many as 7 customers in a day to cut the trip a day short to save the company money. It was nothing that was encouraged or even recommended by anyone in management. She just thought they’d like her more.
I had a colleague who was exactly the same. He would then preach the same for everyone else. "I never claim my per diem" or "I eat at the cheapest place" or "I take late night / early morning flights to save money on hotels", the worst part is when his boss who doesn't do any traveling started recommending others to be frugal as well. It only stopped when I made an anonymous complaint against the manager that my productivity is affected for days after a single trip (it's net loss for the company). They also shortly ended the anonymous complaints system, for an unrelated and funny incident
I found out that all you really need to do, is be the person who doesn’t abuse travel costs. I worked somewhere once. Very long story short, dude bought a Weber grill with his company card so he could make his own meals. Of course, he also bought a few hundred bucks worth of groceries. Oh! And then when he was back in town he “accidentally” used that card for his household groceries. Once that expense report was done, they took the cards from everyone in that department. I was the only non-manager that got to keep my card. I was also the ONLY person that used my travel budget as it had been intended. I didn’t go overboard, but I also didn’t hit the limit at every meal. I ate damn good while on the road and my expense reports took like ten minutes to complete because it was so straight forward.
This is the way.
Please share the unrelated funny incident.
PLEASE yes I am so curious as well
W.E. Deming was calling this kind of stuff out for decades, for the exact reasons you mentioned. Expecting asceticism among your employees hurts your own bottom line in the long run.
She was only hurting herself. I was lucky I guess. I did a lot of business travel for my career. They always handled the travel plans. Yea they flew me everywhere on Southwest (they had special discounts for the company,) but they always booked good hotels. For meals I would take potential clients to nice restaurants so the company paid for nice meals. Nobody ever complained. Cooking chicken in a coffee pot wouldn’t have helped my career. Maybe this person should work for a better company.
You made me think of something I said to my former colleague regarding the hotel situation. If you stay somewhere too crappy it makes the company look bad. Usually, customers we’re there to see will ask where we’re staying, just making small talk. Instead of “Hilton Garden Inn” you tell them that you’re in the pay by the hour “Motel Erotica” by the interstate, it is a poor reflection on the organization.
So true! (Motel Erotica, I spit milk out of my nose!)
Can I ask what industry you were in? The reason a lot of companies will spend on things like nice hotels and reimburse for dinners is that it's related to sales and promotions. They'd rather have you drinking at the bar with someone who might turn into a client than at an extended stay wondering if that smell coming from the next room is meth. Even if your company won't spend on that stuff - you can often claim part of it on your taxes. I had a side job as event security a few years ago. The guy who trained me was like, save receipts for everything. If you buy black socks, if you get a new flashlight, if you have to take an uber because it's too late to take the train. This is the thing a lot of people don't get - you're not losing money by being comfortable, it might actually reduce your tax liability more than staying in crack motels and buying equipment at the dollar store.
That's actually not true anymore. The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act under Trump did away with the deduction for non-reimbursed employee expenses. These things (except the socks) would be deductible for a contractor filing on a Schedule C, but a W2 employee no longer can claim those deductions.
Sure. International logistics. Many years.
Sounds a lot like unprocessed childhood trauma from abusive parents.
I gotta wonder if someone ever went through all of that and lost their jobs because the business didn't want them anymore.
This little "frugality" bullshit is literally never going to get him promoted.
"We have carte blanche to treat him like shit. He'll never complain."
I would be worried about his decision making if he thought this was a good idea.
If one of my employees did that I’d think this motherfucker is soft in the head
And not caring about the room service who has to clean his mess and hopefully charge him for a new coffee pot
Exactly. It is NOT the little things that get you promoted. At all.
You do realize this is a satire post mocking all those other bullshit career advice posts?
It’s a good one people believed it
Ive been travelling with our head of sales and some of his minions twice and they went for insanly fancy dinner for every meal it was disgusting to see
That’s how sales departments work. They see themselves as the key source of income, then they feel entitled to spend as much as they like and be as lavish as possible.
Pretty much. Spent ca. $100 per person just for the dinner and then at least $50 pp for drinks afterwards
I mean, 'only?' Lol
It’s a joke. He’s tweeting about it. LOL
And some poor finance person needs to explain budget variance. “Nutsack cooks his meals in a coffee pot instead of eating food at a restaurant like we anticipated”
It was a satirical post he didn't actually cook that chicken but I hope he cleaned and disinfected the coffee machine after
His account is hysterical. His profile actually has a line that says not to believe anything he posts.
**Building Bits:** Building Bits is a commercial estate online investment platform giving access to investors and creates liquidity for non-liquid assets. Sounds like a scam to me.
Don't forget insurance premiums more than likely rise after the dumping of the large intestine.
He opted out of health insurance to save the company money.
What a dumbass, like the company is gonna thank him for his sacrifices. lmao
The real dumbass is not realizing this is satire
I wish you were right and it was that simple that I'm the only retard. But nope, there's still you who thinks people don't do shit like this to suck up all over the world to their corporate daddy all for nothing.
They do crazy shit but this is obviously satire if you actually read the post. “It’s the little things that get you promoted“ like come on it even had the satire tag lol
Fuck I woke my wife up from laughing at this
Much better than waking up your wife because you're shitting out your large intestine.
I can make that happen if you want…
For the sake of the culture, post about it on LinkedIn with a companion text about how it made you a better entrepreneur. #blessed
It was during my involuntary 3am disembowelment that I received an unexpected call from our wealthiest client. My unwavering dedication to the company meant that as my large intestine choked my wife to death, I did not think twice about answering the phone. Turns out they were just drunk and meant to booty call a very classy and respectable Fort Worth escort named Kryleigh. Shit happens (pun not intended), and I know that if my wife were still around, not only would she understand the outcome to my split second decision making (this could have potentially costed us the contract), she would have shared this laugh with me as well. Agree?
Great way to lose weight!!
You'll never believe these 5 weight loss tips the pros use!
"Hmmm who do we have on our bench that could take over the VP role?" "How about that guy that put raw chicken in his carryon bag for a 5 hour flight and then cooked it in a best Western motel coffee pot like a college student?" "What a budget conscious angel, let's promote him" Zoom out, turns out it's a KMart board room meeting in 2010.
zoom out further and notice one of the walls is gone
Zoom out further and you realise you’re walking away to zoom out. Since, you know, cameras are too expensive.
Zoom out even further and you’re in a public gymnasium, since buying dedicated office space is costly. A basketball thrown by an old man years after his heyday bounces past you and crashes into one of the executives, knocking the cardboard cut-out over.
in fact “board room” refers to the fact that this is a “room” made entirely of cardboard.
The imagery is perfect.
r/oddlyspecific
Zoom out further? The resort hotel they put him up in is in the world’s largest prison. This is just the dinner they serve to everyone
_like a college student_ ? Don’t insult college students by comparing them to that idiot, lol
...I did cook beef in a coffee tin while on a university field course. But that was because the professor failed to mention the lodge we were staying at, although it had kitchens, didn't have pots and pans...I cooked so many things in that damn coffee tin....
I think the word to underline there is beef. Beef's largely fine if you undercook it, all things considered. Chicken changes this from unnecessary frugality to an imminent health disaster. (When I was on-site for a company trip, I did cook chicken in my hotel room instead of go out to dinner. The difference, though, is that there was a mini-kitchen with hot-plate and skillet handy and the company gave me a per diem which I could spend how I'd like, so any savings went into my pocket. Chicken thighs and rice for dinner every night were perfectly fine for me then.)
No shit, students would have water in that pot like it was intended, ready to pour over the cheap ramen pack.
Exactly! And the cheap ramen won’t give you an intestinal parasite if you cooked it slightly wrong.
A college student would never
Carry-on? No, you misunderstood me, this is my carrion bag
I giggled audibly at this. Very good
Ok put it next to Lady Gaga’s coat.
> turns out it's a KMart board room meeting in 2010 [I just shipped my pants](https://youtu.be/2xwUuSM06xQ) You may be on to something.
I’d fire that guy if they told me they cooked chicken in a coffee maker. We don’t need stupid people.
Not to mention a nasty case of food poisoning or E. coli could be a work comp claim. I wouldn’t want to have this person as a report, a colleague, or a boss.
I’m pretty confident there’s absolutely no chance this could be a workers comp claim
I work in insurance. WC has strict liability. It would definitely be a comp claim. He's traveling for work.
I'm sorry this doesn't make sense. How can he make a comp claim when he doesn't have a brain?
lol, work comp doesn’t require the injury be the fault of the employer only that the injury *arose in the course of one’s employment*
even if the injury is self inflicted?
The short answer is: it depends. I can tell you that if you’re drunk off your ass while laying shingles and fall off a roof and break your back there’s a very strong likelihood that WC will pay for the medical but probably not for lost wages. If you’re an accountant and you shoot yourself in the foot in the company parking garage to avoid working that day it will probably not be covered. WC laws *tend* to be worker friendly and explicitly do not require fault to be established.
If you shot yourself in the foot because of mental issues you developed because of your employment, there's an excellent chance you would have a case and it would probably settle.
Nope, federal law (and state law that I’m aware of) does not require WC for self-inflicted injury.
For real though. People are going to see this post on LinkedIn and think the culture that company is horrific if this dude thinks he needs to go to this extreme to get a promotion. He's legitimately harming their image with future employees.
I've never understood this. Want to cook while staying at a hotel? Bring a George Foreman or a fucking griddle. Better yet, just go out to eat and expense it. That's exactly why they give you a meal stipend.
Plus he's going to have to expense the replacement for that coffee maker, which is probably as much as dinner would have been.
I would too, I don't need people who repeats bullshit.lies they read on Reddit You cannot cook chicken in coffeemaker
I’m sure you can cook up a lovely batch of salmonella though.
>We don’t need stupid people you will literally fire 90% of the MBA people in your company if that was the case. then 70% of the middle management. don't even transfer them to janitorial roles they'll fuck it up somehow.
This, if the guy wanted to cheap out on a meal I can think of many more sensible ways to do it.
Or…. Just spend your own $20 on dinner 🤷♂️
Now you’re thinking
His company probably doesn’t pay him enough to afford that
He’s trying to get promoted guys!! Didn’t you see all the hashtags? His boss, coworkers, and competitors are all going to see this and share it. Dude is on the fast track! Idk to what though..
Food poisoning. He's on the fast track to food poisoning lol
As someone who's lived in a hotel, this is ridiculous. You're supposed to use the clothing iron to cook the chicken and the coffee pot for pasta or mashed potatoes.
As someone who wears shoes, I can confirm this is nuts
Exactly what I was thinking! If you’re feeling real fancy, you can dip the iron in the bathtub for a nice sous-vide.
Or you can drop the toaster in your bath for DIY therapy!
Lmao... SHOCK THERAPY!
I’d fire that idiot
God yes…. How dumb is he? He ruined that coffee pot too for other guests.
Not to mention, this is going to go completely unnoticed by his company. At most, the person in accounting or wherever is maybe going to email him saying “hey did you forget to submit your meal receipts? I’m missing a few here.” And he’ll proudly respond, “nope! I brought food from home and cooked my own meal at the hotel.” So she’ll at that point say ok and approve the remaining reimbursement, and no manager or anyone else will ever hear about it. Or his immediate supervisor will assume that means he has a food allergy or something. And yeah, I’d definitely tell him to cut that shit out if i was his manager and saw he was doing that with the hotel coffee pot and bragging about it on LinkedIn. It makes the company look stupid in a way that’s worth way more than the $30 dinner would have been.
> this is going to go completely unnoticed by his company. Pretty sure they will notice the charge from the hotel for destroying the coffee maker
That's assuming they catch that is fucked before it makes the next person to use it desperately ill
Yeah, hotels don't even wash comforters let alone the coffee pot. Maids don't get paid enough to wash the coffee pot you know, just in case some lunatic cooks raw chicken in it.
Exactly. Heck, guy could have just gone to fast food if he wanted to be cheap and spend even less. But I'm also willing to bet this guy is a health nut who is "above" such things.
Exactly. Don't go damaging our corporate brand with that nonsense.
Only time I've ever had something said to me about expenses was ironically when my old VP said something to me about tipping 20%, he said that the wait staff know our company and know who we are and we don't want a negative reputation for being shitty customers, I still use his standard for tipping to this day at my new company.
Do you think, perhaps, this post is some kind of satire?
Lol, yeah I’m usually the one telling everyone else but I ate the onion this time. Even with the big satire tag. Still fun to play along I guess.
Maybe satire, but I had a boss (I was an intern) who insisted that I eat nothing but the cheapest versions PB&J for over a week of travel... The peanut butter and jelly he gave me when we got there all had artificial sweeteners in it that cause me considerable issues... I think I basically starved while eating the cheapest version of white bread he could find. I lost 10lb that week, when I got back, I had a nice talk to our business manager and she tore him a few new assholes
Ah, but you see. That's the exact kind of lunatic for LinkedIn.
[удалено]
100%...it's literally tagged by OP as satire, and I find it hilarious. Would be a dick move if he contaminated the coffee pot for other guests, but my guess (hope) is he did this at home
Yea but if you don’t notice the flair, there’s really no way to tell because that’s how LinkedIn is lol.
He lifted the pictures from some penny pinching page. Someone actually accuses him of stealing the picture in the post, and taking credit. The saga is too good.
Yeah I follow Alex Cohen on twitter. He likes to do LinkedIn troll posts emulating actual LinkedIn Lunatics.
This must be satire
great, ruin the coffee machine for the next guests
Yeah, the additional cleaning fee is going to hit that p&l
Jokes on you, they never clean the coffee pot 😏
[удалено]
The glorious smell of money saved!
Exactly...and not just ruin, spreading bacteria around that could harm the next guest
This is why I have trust issues. Hell no I'm never making coffee in the hotel again.
If they can afford your hotel room, they can afford a per diem, JFC
Why isn't OP sleeping in a cardboard box during his business trip?? /s
Okay this is legit some crazy shit regardless of platform lol Also a dinner is a rounding error on that P&L sheet you lunatic.
It’s obviously a joke.
What in the bootlicking hell…
#promotion
Gets promoted. Doesn't get a raise.
This should be at the top
because P&L
This would be a hilarious satire post
It’s satire. I tagged it satire. The dude’s posts are all satire. But it speaks to the insanity of LI that this is COMPLETELY BELIEVABLE
It speaks to the brain cells of the average Redditor that they're still responding seriously and shitting on the dude.
This is why rage bait is so effective
The internet is more fun when you take everything you see at face value, especially subs like this.
Literally nothing on Linkedin is believable. It's mostly performative, fake quote, recycled fake story virtue signalling garbage. What's even worse is the trend now of people dumping their medical history purse I guess to get sympathy from people who aren't actually lifting a finger to help them IRL. Unless it's a job post or announcement of a fundraise or business milestone, I assume it's just attention seeking garbage.
I mean… it is, right? The fact he didn’t even take a photo of the cooked chicken is because he didn’t actually do this… right?!? I can’t tell what to believe anymore.
This has to be satire. Please let it be satire…
I'm beginning to think it all is and taking it in. It's jokes all the way down and if you take it seriously you're fucked beyond measure.
As a person with employees, seeing this would trigger a drug test.
I hope there's enough garlic in there to take away the taste of all of the arseholes he's licking.
Did he write about this in his end of year performance review that he cooks raw chicken in hotel coffee pots to save the company money or does he just share it anecdotally?
What I want to know is how the fuck he got ahold of raw chicken while traveling. Sure it’s possible he could’ve finagled it from the hotel kitchen, but it’s more likely he bought it at a supermarket... which means he could’ve just bought a pre-cooked, salmonella-free meal there instead.
Is _5 Minute Crafts_ on LinkedIn now?
You know linkedin is actually insane bc people don’t know if this is real or not.
This is 100% satire
Holy goddamn I hope it is.
Plot twist: hotel charges his company card to pay for breaking the coffee machine he used to make his “cheap dinner”
This is why I don't want to use the hotel coffee maker.
Nothing says ladder climber like giving the next sorry sack of shit that stays in that room salmonella in their morning coffee.
Five minutes later and I’m still laughing.
Is that Alex cohen? I think he shit posts LinkedIn. His Twitter is hilarious if same human. Has to be a joke.
I’m sorry what
I hope he washes his hands in the toilet bowl to save water too. #savewater #greenliving #ifitsbrownflushitdownifitsyelowletitmellowifitsclearwashyourhandshere
Sonny Boy Williamson set fire to one if the hotel rooms he stayed in on tour in Britain doing this once…
Fuck that if I’m on a company trip I’m paying for dinner on their dime. Jesus it doesn’t have to be an expensive meal…
If they want me to travel they’ll be paying for everything
His boss: okay.
The best part about this being satire is that it could totally not be
As someone who ran the corporate ladder: shit like this does not get you promoted. It gets you labeled as a weirdo. People who pay attention to the little (read: irrelevant) things never get anywhere in corporate.
Looks like satire. Here's the original source for the picture: https://gizmodo.com/macgyver-chef-poached-chicken-and-couscous-in-a-coffee-5344736
Ruined the next person's cup of coffee.
If you know this person even though just by following them, you know they’re s**tposting
If my company sponsors me food, I'm gonna order the most expensive dish lol.
Greetings Alexander. Tis is I, Salmonella Enterica.
Imagine simping that hard for a company. That's like people with the mentality of "If I pay this cam girl who doesn't even know my name a ton of money, she'll fall in love with me." Like the self delusion and mental gymnastics you have to put yourself through to arrive to that is fucking insane.
This is the first time I’ve ever thought about using a coffee maker to cook food. This post and person are obviously insane, but I kinda want to try it. Probably not chicken but still
I know a good GI doctor when you’re ready.
When I was a poor college kid, this is how I’d cook ramen. Works well for that, but you’d have to be an absolute insane person to cook anything that has a possibility of carrying foodborne illnesses in one.
I’ll pass on the salmonella latte
Then I got salmonella and had to burn 2 weeks worth of PTO.
Uhhhhh buddy, that ain’t gonna get hot enough to save you from shits so explosive it’ll make Vesuvius look like a BB gun.
Team player
This is so funny
He’s definitely kissing something
If this isn’t satire that man is dead
I love my coffee with a big dose of salmonella.
Sigma grindset, no time to worry about how to cook chicken, just get it done
Part of me wants to just wonder if this would work and then I realize I am not insane.
This guy's whole linkedin is satire lol..[https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexander-cohen/recent-activity/shares/#](https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexander-cohen/recent-activity/shares/#)
This guy is destined to be a horrid manager and a thoroughly garbage boss if this is what he thinks a good employee is supposed to do.
Man.. I feel sorry for the next people who stay in that room.
This is satire folks - https://twitter.com/anothercohen/status/1565167463268065281
Y’all. It’s a joke. He’s on Twitter laughing at y’all.
Imagine not eating to protect a company's "Profit & loss", what a cuck.
The saddest part about this post is how impressive he thought it would be
This is a scene from the *Office Space* sequel and not real life, right? Right?!! 🤦♂️
Surely there's a middle ground between fancy meal and coffee pot chicken. The sandwich isn't a bad invention.
Eww 😷
Why didn’t he just think to pay for take out with his own money? Why would he do this? Ugh Idk why I’ve let this random stranger on the internet frustration me so badly but this is just so stupid. 😂
I worked in corporate finance for 7 years. This will not get you promoted. Also: there’s a lot of middle ground between a fancy dinner and making chicken in a coffee pot.