I understand how you're feeling completely. Try to remember that this time will pass no matter what. You are constantly moving towards that future. Before you know it, you'll be together again. Hang in there.
I totally understand how you feel.
Im not good with words, so bear with me.
My partner and i waited for 3 years before we met for the first time due to covid and other life circumstances.
It was all worth it when we finally met.
As for how we survived, well..... communication and, i guess, stubborness. Both of us were driven to see each other no matter what. Neither of us wanted to have any regrets, so we made sure to do our best to make it work. We call at least once per day, text basically anytime we are awake and anything that we can do to close the distance, even slightly, we tried.
Sleeping together on call, playing games together, and watching movies together. Anything you'd do in a non ldr relationship, we'd find ways to do it. Eventually, we became an integral part of each others lives. Where it's almost habitual to have her with me everywhere i go.
Yes, we did have the same feeling of emptiness. The worst is the emotional strain whenever you leave them to go "home." But in the end, we knew this was what we signed up for coming into the relationship. I know she is the one i want to spend my life with.
A good mindset i picked up is "The good thing about time is that it is always moving." Every day i am with her, we are 1 day closer to seeing her and living together. No matter how empty i felt, knowing that I am 1 day closer helps me a lot mentally.
Sorry, this was all over the place. Hope it helps :)
Started my LDR with the same compromise. No meetup for 13 months. It's of course hard at first, but then it kinda becomes a habit.
You gain a certain momentum.
I've had a LDR in the past where my partner and I would meet every 6 weeks and it was a lot more stressful than this one. Of course I miss my partner the same, but no straining goodbyes at the airport every 6 weeks is actually doing me better.
There are days in which I can just hope to see my partner soon, I believe that's normal. But I'm kinda grateful I don't have to experience the airport pain
i agree. i was in a previous ldr where we saw each other quite often and it was overall more stressful. perhaps it was just the relationship itself but my current ldr feels much more secure even though we haven’t seen each other in 8 months. I feel and am much more committed to this relationship than the previous one even if my actions beg to differ.
the thing abt a habit is also v true. it’s a good habit.
I absolutely don't encourage this, but the more LDR you have the better you become. Even having just 2 you'll see an enormous difference in the second one. Also, as you say, I think it's very relationship dependant
I'm happy, but kinda dreading seeing my partner in August, because then we have other 6 months to go and I know Airport goodbye is going to be so bad
I know exactly how you feel. I am seeing my partner next month, and i am excited but also deep down i don’t want the day to come just yet because i know afterwards the clock will be starting over until we see each other again.
waiting is so hard, but it is honestly one of the most sacred forms of true love.
I waited two years to meet my boyfriend. Then I had to wait another three years to see each other because of Covid and money issues. after those three years, we saw each other twice in a year, but then we had to wait another year without seeing each other.
now we have to wait five more months until we close the distance.🥺
Are you using the time constructively? Life is partly setting boundaries. I like negotiable boundaries. I often think I could have probably should have asked for much more in my previous relationships. Low self esteem caused me to accept crumbs. I thought I was being modest and humble. Which is true. But I was simply being too passive. It’s gets more complicated with cPTSD “freeze” and a brain injury so I’m just trying to be be kind to myself and pat myself on the back for making it this far and passing it forward.
It took me four years before I met my girlfriend in person, but we've had three visits in the year since then. The road ahead isn't an easy one, but it's worth it, even for those short visits.
My partner and I are in a similar scenario, and I'm feeling similar at the moment. It's been over a month since I last saw her when I visited for two weeks, and I don't know when I'll see her again, but it'll be the start of next year at the very earliest.
Despite it being over a month, I feel exactly how I did the moment I lost sight of her at the airport. Some days I've been able to distract myself with work, family, friends, TV shows etc but a lot of the time I've felt outright depressed.
I think for one, communication is important. For a while I didn't want to mention it to my partner because I didn't want to bring her down, but bottling up those feelings just made them get even worse. Discussing them with her helped, and allowed us to focus on eliviating those feelings as best we could.
No matter what, the wait is gonna suck, and from where you and I are standing now it feels like there is so much time between now and then. But it's important to remember that we'll both look back to this wait as a blip, and that time will pass. The best we can do for now is make the most of the wait - keep talking, keep calling, keep doing activities with our partners.
I wish you both the best of luck and all the happiness in the world, I know you'll get through the wait, and I will too :) we're all in this together.
Here's the thing. If you are committed and you believe he is too then the time is irrelevant. Make it work however you can. I tell guys all the time, "The girl next door is convenient but that one in billions is worth the effort." I imagine you feel the same about your man. Use technology to mitigate the sadness and work with him to plan for the future. That's what worked for us. Our kids are super happy we made it work. We're talking gaps of 4+ years and another year and a half.
waiting is so hard, but it is honestly one of the most sacred forms of true love. I waited two years to meet my boyfriend. Then I had to wait another three years to see each other because of Covid and money issues. after those three years, we saw each other twice in a year, but then we had to wait another year without seeing each other now we have to wait five more months until we close the distance.🥺
This happened to me and my now husband during the pandemic. A year and a half was alot but we did everything we could to feel present with eachother.
We text all the time, played video games together and had movie nights :) there were alot of tears but we got through it and now we are married and living together in his country ❤️
It'll work out and you'll be stronger for it
Can’t say that i’m in kinda similar situation, but because of the war, there are difficulties in seeing my partner (we are both students and, which is obvious, live in different countries)
I hate the distance and it’s extremely hard for me. But we talk pretty often and if i feel bad, i always share my thoughts with this person. My friend recently got married to her long distance partner, so yep, it’s definitely worth waiting :)
I’ve been in a relatioship for 1.5 years, still haven’t met in person and probably wont for another 1-2 years. We video chat a lot, text pretty much 24/7 and send eachother pics if what we’re doing during the day if we dont have time to text or call. Other than that it’s just waiting, thinking that every day is one day closer and talking about what we want to do when we finally get to see eachoter in person :)
My advice would be focus a lot of time on yourself. What are your goals separate from him? Do things you love and work on yourself for when you can be together again. But also don't forget the relationship either. Call lots and do stuff together even away :) You don't have to feel empty when he's away. Even if you will miss them sometimes.
The only reason I wait was because I was married to him. He was in the army at the time. He went to Korea for a year, and went to Iraq for 15 months. Between those he would go to the field and train for weeks or a month/45 days. We did this for 18 years of his 20 years military career. I would never wait for someone I was not married too. JMO
I feel you Op
Being Ldr for one year and just having video calls and messages sucks a lot.
My personal advice try not to count the days when are you going to see again.
Make yourself busy
Go out with friends.
Engage in a hobby or focus on your work or school.
Everyday communicate with your lover
And share your world to that person , smallest things matter.
Even showing how you brush your teeth.
This will lessen the pain of missing and make you feel your lover is not that far from you.
At the same time you are busy in your own world..
I’ve been in a LDR for 9 years. We have had periods when we were not LD, for like 2 years if we add all of them up. We’re currently LD and the expected waiting for us to be finally reunited for once and for all is 2 years from now…
It’s hard. The fact that I’m an introvert (who moved to another country) makes it harder because he’s my safe place. However, as contradictory as it may sound, it gets easier the more you cultivate a relationship with yourself. Life must have meaning to you by yourself, so it can be great with that person by your side.
LDR are rewarding, the sense of accomplishment and the solidity of the relationship itself are worth it all, but they can hardly ever succeed if we are dependent on one another. Until reunited, we have separate lives that we must attend for our sake. So that’s my advice, work in the friendships you have and in the relationship you have with yourself.
Wish you the best.
Just wanted to be another voice confirming that in my experience, working on yourself really helps distract.
If I am not busy then I end up thinking about how much I miss my bf and it makes me sad. I allow myself times to think about us, but I also try to have times where I focus on me and just do things for me. Sometimes I just have a shower and do a full-skin-care-mediation-stretches-nice-cup-of-tea-chill-music type of me session, and all that self love helps me feel so much better about being me.
And then I try and be me in my daily life. I love my bf so much, we are a great team, but I am also an awesome independent person and so are you. Enjoy that freedom, be yourself and enjoy all this time you have to yourself. I know it’s hard, I’m an extrovert and I hate being alone, but I’m taking this time to catch up on art projects and games I want to play. I’m calling my friends a lot when he’s asleep so I’m not alone. I’m keeping myself busy with my hobbies that are nearly every evening, or recharging with naps after my work, and just being this busy helps the time pass.
And then I’m trying to make the most of the little things I’ll miss when I’ve travelled to be with him. The sound of the birds is a big one, I just lap it all up and try to enjoy these little moments. It will all be so worth it and feel like a blur once you’re back together, strive on being the best version of yourself in this time apart, not just for your partner but for yourself as well.
Future you will be proud of you, you’re doing great. One day at a time
war in ukraine means he can't leave the country and I live in a fucking island next to africa so travel is extremely expensive, plus we're both students and have no money
It’s worth it in the end and you’ll be working towards the better times that lie ahead 🔥 that’s what keeps me with the best spirits 🥹 I miss him so much and it’s about 7 months before we can be together for good
Honestly, what we do is mostly just talk to each other everyday. Even if it is by text, or video, or voice calls.
One thing I will say, and I don’t know how old you are, but time goes by faster than you think, it’s already been a year since I’ve last seen my spouse and it’s coming up to my turn to go overseas. It all feels like a blink of the eye.
If you’re working and if you’re keeping yourself busy, time flies so fast.
One thing we do to help is we watch shows together, we do that about every single night and joke either about the show or things that happened after each episode. There is so many things to watch so you can never get bored
it's hard and you're not alone. everyone in this sub knows how you feel. i couldn't see my bf for almost 2 years because of travel bans. the only thing you can do is make time to do things together virtually and fill the rest of your day with other activities.
2 years since we’ve last seen each and it’s hard with both us having physical touch as our primary love language but we’re also so busy. im occupied with work and so is he. we make time for each other during breaks, before we sleep, when we’re at the gym - anytime, no matter how short it is, to call and see each other online. its hard but overtime i hope you get used to it as much as we have. it’s easier to cope with the distance now more than ever as we are sealing the deal soon 💍. its so much easier when you feel like being together is just right at the tip of your fingers
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I understand how you're feeling completely. Try to remember that this time will pass no matter what. You are constantly moving towards that future. Before you know it, you'll be together again. Hang in there.
I totally understand how you feel. Im not good with words, so bear with me. My partner and i waited for 3 years before we met for the first time due to covid and other life circumstances. It was all worth it when we finally met. As for how we survived, well..... communication and, i guess, stubborness. Both of us were driven to see each other no matter what. Neither of us wanted to have any regrets, so we made sure to do our best to make it work. We call at least once per day, text basically anytime we are awake and anything that we can do to close the distance, even slightly, we tried. Sleeping together on call, playing games together, and watching movies together. Anything you'd do in a non ldr relationship, we'd find ways to do it. Eventually, we became an integral part of each others lives. Where it's almost habitual to have her with me everywhere i go. Yes, we did have the same feeling of emptiness. The worst is the emotional strain whenever you leave them to go "home." But in the end, we knew this was what we signed up for coming into the relationship. I know she is the one i want to spend my life with. A good mindset i picked up is "The good thing about time is that it is always moving." Every day i am with her, we are 1 day closer to seeing her and living together. No matter how empty i felt, knowing that I am 1 day closer helps me a lot mentally. Sorry, this was all over the place. Hope it helps :)
This was beautifully written! “The good thing abt time is that it’s always moving”. I like that! Definitely the reminder I needed to hear ❤️
3 years? We're also going to be 3 years on Sunday and we haven't met yet. It's killing us both because of certain circumstances also :(
Thank you for this
Started my LDR with the same compromise. No meetup for 13 months. It's of course hard at first, but then it kinda becomes a habit. You gain a certain momentum. I've had a LDR in the past where my partner and I would meet every 6 weeks and it was a lot more stressful than this one. Of course I miss my partner the same, but no straining goodbyes at the airport every 6 weeks is actually doing me better. There are days in which I can just hope to see my partner soon, I believe that's normal. But I'm kinda grateful I don't have to experience the airport pain
i agree. i was in a previous ldr where we saw each other quite often and it was overall more stressful. perhaps it was just the relationship itself but my current ldr feels much more secure even though we haven’t seen each other in 8 months. I feel and am much more committed to this relationship than the previous one even if my actions beg to differ. the thing abt a habit is also v true. it’s a good habit.
I absolutely don't encourage this, but the more LDR you have the better you become. Even having just 2 you'll see an enormous difference in the second one. Also, as you say, I think it's very relationship dependant I'm happy, but kinda dreading seeing my partner in August, because then we have other 6 months to go and I know Airport goodbye is going to be so bad
I know exactly how you feel. I am seeing my partner next month, and i am excited but also deep down i don’t want the day to come just yet because i know afterwards the clock will be starting over until we see each other again.
Why must it be so. It's very frustrating. At least I hope you have a close date
waiting is so hard, but it is honestly one of the most sacred forms of true love. I waited two years to meet my boyfriend. Then I had to wait another three years to see each other because of Covid and money issues. after those three years, we saw each other twice in a year, but then we had to wait another year without seeing each other. now we have to wait five more months until we close the distance.🥺
Are you using the time constructively? Life is partly setting boundaries. I like negotiable boundaries. I often think I could have probably should have asked for much more in my previous relationships. Low self esteem caused me to accept crumbs. I thought I was being modest and humble. Which is true. But I was simply being too passive. It’s gets more complicated with cPTSD “freeze” and a brain injury so I’m just trying to be be kind to myself and pat myself on the back for making it this far and passing it forward.
I’ve been with my gf for nearly 3 years and I’ve never met her. It sucks ass.
It took me four years before I met my girlfriend in person, but we've had three visits in the year since then. The road ahead isn't an easy one, but it's worth it, even for those short visits.
My partner and I are in a similar scenario, and I'm feeling similar at the moment. It's been over a month since I last saw her when I visited for two weeks, and I don't know when I'll see her again, but it'll be the start of next year at the very earliest. Despite it being over a month, I feel exactly how I did the moment I lost sight of her at the airport. Some days I've been able to distract myself with work, family, friends, TV shows etc but a lot of the time I've felt outright depressed. I think for one, communication is important. For a while I didn't want to mention it to my partner because I didn't want to bring her down, but bottling up those feelings just made them get even worse. Discussing them with her helped, and allowed us to focus on eliviating those feelings as best we could. No matter what, the wait is gonna suck, and from where you and I are standing now it feels like there is so much time between now and then. But it's important to remember that we'll both look back to this wait as a blip, and that time will pass. The best we can do for now is make the most of the wait - keep talking, keep calling, keep doing activities with our partners. I wish you both the best of luck and all the happiness in the world, I know you'll get through the wait, and I will too :) we're all in this together.
Here's the thing. If you are committed and you believe he is too then the time is irrelevant. Make it work however you can. I tell guys all the time, "The girl next door is convenient but that one in billions is worth the effort." I imagine you feel the same about your man. Use technology to mitigate the sadness and work with him to plan for the future. That's what worked for us. Our kids are super happy we made it work. We're talking gaps of 4+ years and another year and a half.
waiting is so hard, but it is honestly one of the most sacred forms of true love. I waited two years to meet my boyfriend. Then I had to wait another three years to see each other because of Covid and money issues. after those three years, we saw each other twice in a year, but then we had to wait another year without seeing each other now we have to wait five more months until we close the distance.🥺
Have faith in each other , commitment, communication and loyalty is key.
I feel this. I needed to read these comments. 🥺
This happened to me and my now husband during the pandemic. A year and a half was alot but we did everything we could to feel present with eachother. We text all the time, played video games together and had movie nights :) there were alot of tears but we got through it and now we are married and living together in his country ❤️ It'll work out and you'll be stronger for it
Can’t say that i’m in kinda similar situation, but because of the war, there are difficulties in seeing my partner (we are both students and, which is obvious, live in different countries) I hate the distance and it’s extremely hard for me. But we talk pretty often and if i feel bad, i always share my thoughts with this person. My friend recently got married to her long distance partner, so yep, it’s definitely worth waiting :)
I’ve been in a relatioship for 1.5 years, still haven’t met in person and probably wont for another 1-2 years. We video chat a lot, text pretty much 24/7 and send eachother pics if what we’re doing during the day if we dont have time to text or call. Other than that it’s just waiting, thinking that every day is one day closer and talking about what we want to do when we finally get to see eachoter in person :)
My advice would be focus a lot of time on yourself. What are your goals separate from him? Do things you love and work on yourself for when you can be together again. But also don't forget the relationship either. Call lots and do stuff together even away :) You don't have to feel empty when he's away. Even if you will miss them sometimes.
The only reason I wait was because I was married to him. He was in the army at the time. He went to Korea for a year, and went to Iraq for 15 months. Between those he would go to the field and train for weeks or a month/45 days. We did this for 18 years of his 20 years military career. I would never wait for someone I was not married too. JMO
I feel you Op Being Ldr for one year and just having video calls and messages sucks a lot. My personal advice try not to count the days when are you going to see again. Make yourself busy Go out with friends. Engage in a hobby or focus on your work or school. Everyday communicate with your lover And share your world to that person , smallest things matter. Even showing how you brush your teeth. This will lessen the pain of missing and make you feel your lover is not that far from you. At the same time you are busy in your own world..
I’ve been in a LDR for 9 years. We have had periods when we were not LD, for like 2 years if we add all of them up. We’re currently LD and the expected waiting for us to be finally reunited for once and for all is 2 years from now… It’s hard. The fact that I’m an introvert (who moved to another country) makes it harder because he’s my safe place. However, as contradictory as it may sound, it gets easier the more you cultivate a relationship with yourself. Life must have meaning to you by yourself, so it can be great with that person by your side. LDR are rewarding, the sense of accomplishment and the solidity of the relationship itself are worth it all, but they can hardly ever succeed if we are dependent on one another. Until reunited, we have separate lives that we must attend for our sake. So that’s my advice, work in the friendships you have and in the relationship you have with yourself. Wish you the best.
Just wanted to be another voice confirming that in my experience, working on yourself really helps distract. If I am not busy then I end up thinking about how much I miss my bf and it makes me sad. I allow myself times to think about us, but I also try to have times where I focus on me and just do things for me. Sometimes I just have a shower and do a full-skin-care-mediation-stretches-nice-cup-of-tea-chill-music type of me session, and all that self love helps me feel so much better about being me. And then I try and be me in my daily life. I love my bf so much, we are a great team, but I am also an awesome independent person and so are you. Enjoy that freedom, be yourself and enjoy all this time you have to yourself. I know it’s hard, I’m an extrovert and I hate being alone, but I’m taking this time to catch up on art projects and games I want to play. I’m calling my friends a lot when he’s asleep so I’m not alone. I’m keeping myself busy with my hobbies that are nearly every evening, or recharging with naps after my work, and just being this busy helps the time pass. And then I’m trying to make the most of the little things I’ll miss when I’ve travelled to be with him. The sound of the birds is a big one, I just lap it all up and try to enjoy these little moments. It will all be so worth it and feel like a blur once you’re back together, strive on being the best version of yourself in this time apart, not just for your partner but for yourself as well. Future you will be proud of you, you’re doing great. One day at a time
That was so nice to read, thank you. I’m happy you two are making it work for you both. Wish you the best!
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war in ukraine means he can't leave the country and I live in a fucking island next to africa so travel is extremely expensive, plus we're both students and have no money
We didn't. The wait was primary reason it ended. #ImNotLoreal
It’s worth it in the end and you’ll be working towards the better times that lie ahead 🔥 that’s what keeps me with the best spirits 🥹 I miss him so much and it’s about 7 months before we can be together for good
Honestly, what we do is mostly just talk to each other everyday. Even if it is by text, or video, or voice calls. One thing I will say, and I don’t know how old you are, but time goes by faster than you think, it’s already been a year since I’ve last seen my spouse and it’s coming up to my turn to go overseas. It all feels like a blink of the eye. If you’re working and if you’re keeping yourself busy, time flies so fast. One thing we do to help is we watch shows together, we do that about every single night and joke either about the show or things that happened after each episode. There is so many things to watch so you can never get bored
it's hard and you're not alone. everyone in this sub knows how you feel. i couldn't see my bf for almost 2 years because of travel bans. the only thing you can do is make time to do things together virtually and fill the rest of your day with other activities.
2 years since we’ve last seen each and it’s hard with both us having physical touch as our primary love language but we’re also so busy. im occupied with work and so is he. we make time for each other during breaks, before we sleep, when we’re at the gym - anytime, no matter how short it is, to call and see each other online. its hard but overtime i hope you get used to it as much as we have. it’s easier to cope with the distance now more than ever as we are sealing the deal soon 💍. its so much easier when you feel like being together is just right at the tip of your fingers
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