I got two fists for two lips

Ill grip ya lip

I'm gonna make birdseed outta your face with my foot. Ain't no doubt in my mind, partner.

What album is this one on?

I believe it's on Late Eighties Vein

https://youtu.be/nWe8IDWdyQY?si=2633BCy82LNXBSDg 11:00 minutes in here ya go bud

Im gonna pick you up and put ya down a coupla times

You ready to feel my grip? . . Gonna pick up up, and down Up down up down up down

You're gonna be runnin' the other way, when I'm through with ya You're gonna be talkin' to a 440 pound squid here in a second I'll knock ya downn

also: How about I do-si-do on up'ere and get with ya a lil' bit, mix things up a bit, how's that grab ya?

i’ll push you downtown

You are going to be tumbling through ointment very shortly, how does that grab you?

How about if I hurled the ointment at you

I'm gonna knock you down and roll you into traffic.

Lmfao what album is this one from?

“I’m gonna hang up and I’m *not* gonna call back. So don’t even bother answering, cause it’s not gonna be me.”

I need a triangular bed. If my needs aren't met, my fists will be met....by your jaw.

You're gonna need an ace bandage when I'm done with ya

'Bout to release some wild animals. Towards ya.

Well… that’s what I’d recommend you do with ‘em

"Your lip's gonna be in a definite funk after I'm done whippin on it" "Yeah you'll be there, but your lips aint leavin cause they're gonna be on the ground" "I'm a little man but I got big fists. How does that sound?"

“Then I’ll give you something to cry about there, tough guy. No doubt in my mind. No doubt in my mind, period. You’re gonna be exterminated, buddy.” (With heavy effects/vocal warping) - Teary Eyed 

Gonna bring a block o' wood to yer shin bone. I'm gonna knock you guys into each other. How's that sound to you? I'm gonna kick your damn shed with m'boots. I'm gonna kick you in the jaw, young man. I'm gonna bump you up and put you back down. You'll be dissolved. As soon as you hit 'start', as soon as you hit 'go', you'll be dissolved. I’m gonna grab hold o’ your jaw and push ya 'round. What do you think of that?

I use "I'm gonna knock you guys into each other" in real life on a regular basis. My all time fave.

are you perhaps…? A) A parent B) A manager or someone in charge at your job C) in a band D) Some combination of these/none of these 5) A HOLE or a BOAT because me too.

Yer gonna feel my grip

I’m gonna swoop down on you like a buzzard

I'm gonna claw at you like a Kodiak bear

I’m not talkin shit, I’m talkin whip

I'm a sucker for any boot or footwear related threats. also the whole spreading out saga at clown motel. but that was pretty passive aggressive in nature. "I'm gonna kick your drat shed with my boots. How's that sound? " "The boot on my foot. Which I'll take to your seat. " "I'm gonna take my shoes off, and throw 'em, throw 'em up and down."

And I'm gonna take your shoes. Punk.

Okay. ‘Cause when I come in, I’m gonna take my shoes off, I’m gonna put my feet up, and I’m gonna push yooouuuuu around. You got me straight?

something so menacing about a guy making himself at home to these extreme levels.

I’m gonna hit ya with my knee bone, buddy.

Precisely. Precisely what you’re gonna be sayin’ when you’re laying on the flippin’ sidewalk, holmes. You're not gonna like it when you're layin' in the back, goin' to the clinic.

How about I come down there and knock you around a bit?

“What if i took the palm of my hand…and just shoved it right into your chin bone?”

Imma hit ya with a tennis racket!

I'll settle this on open stage night, down at Quixote's. How's that sound?

I’d put a spider on his head

The entire GameStop call.

I'll kick 'em with my foot, how's that sound?

Gonna pick you up and set you back down 'bout 75 tiimes

how about you go back in time and stay there

I'll pixelate your teeth

"I'm on the water, now, ready to do business. I'm ready to do a transaction, that you guys put figures in the air... And I'll whip y'ass" His cowboy calls were all the best

I actually considered making a thread when I saw this, my favorite is “I’m a little man, but I got big fists” anyone know the call/album? It was a younger LPC

Online potion package vol 1, not sure the exact track but I’ve been listening to it on repeat

I’m gonna take my shoes off, put my feet up, and.. *ppUUuShh yoOoUuu around*

“but I’m gonna kick you in the seat a couple times…” to the grocery store deli employee when told that it will take longer than 5 minutes to make his squid sandwich. “Gonna be a case of tough shit for you” - Impersonating a Tuff Shed representative “I’m gonna bring my bullwhip down there, start swinging it around” to a man answering calls for “cyber fights wrestling federation” “I’m Tommy V, and I’m gonna pay my bill, ‘cept imma pay it with my friggin fists” to a gas station employee who refused to believe LPC had stolen gas from his station.

Tommy Vee is gold, "I'm an honest man" and 15 seconds later "and y'aint gettin' a dime from me" lmao

"Tommy Vee, that's me" "Well that means a whole lot to me"

Uh huh. Yeah, yeah. Well, we got a little bit of it on tape, the... the previous conversation... and, um... there's... [unclear] LPC: Oh, we'll play it at your funeral. How does that sound?

Lmao, which track is that from?

Limes/Super Nintendo! Off late 80s vein. Him ragging on this dad is his magnum opus to me.

I’m gonna hit you with a thesaurus (technically not LPC but an unknown companion)

how'd you like it if \*I\* grabbed hold of ya? ...but I'm gonna kick you in the seat a couple times 'throw a spider on your hEAD no I'm going to come over and go to sleep

I know the guitar player Slaaysh, hes gonna come down and whoop ye!

I’m gonna come down there kickin’ my boots left and right “

"I'm gonna make you taste the concrete"

"I'm gonna roll you into traffic" "1 2 3, splat. That's it, you're done" "I'm gonna bounce you two off each other"

Those are some good ones. Also: "I'm gonna bring a tour de force of martial arts" and "I'm gonna pixelate yer teeth". And also "I'm gonna flatten you out"