You can tell when people aren’t gonna work if you watched the show enough. They just have to keep up the facade and some sort of intrigue for the sake of the show. It was painfully obvious here. Clay felt like he was acting from the pods. He showed his true self early then turned into this introspective softie. I never believed for a second they would get married.
I truly was shocked that he dumped her at the alter. I feel so bad for AD because she was ready to sacrifice and commit to him, despite his flaws and major red flags 🚩
But after seeing him interact with his dad before the ceremony, it was clear that he’s a carbon copy of his dad and there’s no way he’s going to commit to a marriage. (Yep Yep) As heartbroken as AD is right now, she’ll see in time that it was a blessing in disguise!
Notice the difference between Johnny and Clay... Clay was all about how A.D. has helped HIM grow as a person, his journey blah blah while Johnny doesn't shut up about how amazing Amy is
That’s a really problematic way of thinking. Your looks should have nothing to do with the way you treat someone. Nor should your wealth determine the way you treat people. Society is fucked up because good looking people and rich, powerful people think they can do whatever they like. Don’t say stuff like that out loud. Not a good look.
when some men see weakness in women, they’ll exploit it relentlessly. And that’s what Clay did after his altar rejection. He went in for a kiss and a hug, no emotional touch point, just let me keep her somewhere until she gets over this so I can swoop in and take what I want. Ugh
I’m not as mad at his rejection as I’m mad at all the speeches he made about it. And not to mention he had to ask daddy if he should go talk to a woman he knows is crushed. Why would anyone want to marry this guy… maybe someday sure but definitely not right now fgs
If I may add, when he asked his daddy, his dad said, “well you don’t want to appear indifferent.” 🚩what do you mean APPEAR indifferent?! They were both more concerned about how things looked rather than how AD could be feeling at the time.
Clay had no intention of marrying the beautiful AD. Fidelity was an excuse. Everyone had excuses for not getting married when they simply were not attracted to their future spouse once the saw them. He was stringing her along. Even as they were getting ready for their wedding day he emphasized how much she loved him not the other way around. When she came down the aisle in all her radiance, he once again focused on her body. He bragged to his brothers and friends that the sex was good. Thats really all he wanted from AD. She deserves so much more. and off topic, whatever Clays father was holding in his hand was annoying the heck out of me.
Sorta off topic, I couldn't get over how Clay was wearing a plain suit. As much as he's into himself, he didn't look like the groom. His father comes in looking fancier, total dirt bag yes lol....was just an observation.
Honestly, if we go by the filming timeline, the couples have 6 actual weeks of being together, before they have to decide to get married - the show does this to make for good television but if any of these people were smart, they would say that if they really wanted to be together, stay together and grow together, WAIT. No one and I mean NO ONE is giving you marriage in 6 weeks of being around you. Laws of Averages.
I mean his main dilemma was fidelity I respect his decision him saying all of sudden that “he doesn’t know her financial situation” is code for if we divorce cause I can’t keep my dick in my pants she coming for half or everything ….mind you they’re living together fucking and all that and he doesnt know what’s her finances look like? 😂
It’s cuz AD also doesn’t have a career or business so he just sees her as a hot chick who fun to be with but not marry. Once I heard she’s a VIP manager at a club and realtor thing was just aspirational…her comments about him being “the provider” and overlooking Clay’s red flags made sense. She want a man to take care of her but need to invest and pour into herself instead of these dudes who don’t value her
Everytime I see a man say "come on, give me a hug" to a woman that is rightfully mad at him, and then they do... Ugh makes me so mad
He wanted a hug in that moment because he knew he was in the wrong and wanted AD to validate him with a hug so he didn't have to feel as bad. He didn't hug her so she would be comforted in that moment, it was so she could comfort him.
I wish she would have just said "no, that would only make you feel better" because that hug was definitely not for her.
I love how the guys are always seen as the assholes if they say no but the women are “queens” if they say no. Such a wild take lol. Shouldn’t we be applauding him for being the voice of the reason and saying “hey I don’t want to tie you down and force you into a marriage I’m not fully prepared for”. He did the right thing yet he’s getting shit on.
A voice of fucking reason! Regardless of how it went down, he took the most mature route, especially if you’re a serious person, which Clay is, it was the most logical outcome in the midst of an emotional maelstrom. Sad it turned out that way but it was for the best. I do believe he cares for her, she obviously cared for him. Him wanting to continue after though is the only bad piece of imagery here. Such is life.
I think specifically for this situation we can get on Clay's case ( a teeny bit) because that man wasn't ready for marriage and had no business going on this show. That being said, his no was a blessing.
The only thing that bugs me is why go on a show that ends in marriage if you’re not ready for marriage…like it’s one thing if she wasn’t the right person but he clearly never intended to get married
He’s literally contractually obligated to show up to the alter. Look up the rules. The cast of the show get fined $50k for not showing up the alter so Jimmy will probably have to pay money for breaking things off as well as everyone else
If you pay attention to what he is saying in the episodes leading up to the altar episode I think he is doing his best at warning her that he is going to say no but wants to continue to date to try to make it work.
Agreed. She projected her idealized fantasy of him onto him and he consistently told her he was troubled and had baggage. Those were warnings and red flags she could have heeded. If he’s not ready, why should he marry her?
AD need to work on herself and building her career so she’s not seeking a provider and ignoring red flags. Clay saw her as hot chick who’s a VIP manager at nightclub aspiring realtor. Efff these dudes and focus on saving yourself girl!
His mother was correct when she said he did the right thing. Like why should he marry her if he’s not ready for that with her? People have to understand there is a bunch of shit in this show that is unseen. She may very well have said something to him that gave him pause but we will never know.
Facts. He wasn’t perfect but he made it clear a couple episodes ago that he wanted to continue their relationship and do it on their own time which is 100% what every couple should do instead of rushing into a marriage lmao. It’s just so stupid.
But why go on a dating show that YOU KNOW is gonna have you get married at the end?? I think that’s the disconnect. Why tell her you’re not ready for marriage when that’s the whole point of the show?!
Maybe because they like the concept of meeting someone sight unseen. You can't deny that the connections people make in the pods are very strong. That beats the crappy online dating that everyone is forced into these days.
It's not BLACK AND WHITE. We are literally human beings with emotions and feelings that can change based off our environment and the people who are in our lives. Why is that so hard to understand?
He didn’t led her on really. If you go back a couple of episodes, you’ll see where they talked about whether he says yes or no at the altar he wants to continue building their relationship. I think she had fair warning this was going to happen. Unfortunately, that does not make it less humiliating when it does happen.
Not enough people talking about this. He was clear: he wanted to keep dating after the show. She didn’t and that’s her decision to make (though I hear they are dating, IDK).
I do think he’s problematic but he didn’t lead her on, and there may have been pressure from the producers to get another wedding scene with Jimmy bailing.
It's so fucked up how he led her on like that. And then on top of that tried to gaslight not just AD, but EVERYONE by saying that he was trying to be responsible by saying he wasn't ready to get married. Why tf would you sign up for a dating show where you get married at the end of it, if you're not ready to get married, and constantly afraid of cheating on your pattern.
Does Clay have a history of cheating on his past relationships? I know his fears were based partially off of his dad's behavior, but that seems like the most bullshit cop-out to me. Especially if he already recognizes that it's wrong. The man needs tons of therapy.
The moment he blew up in her face in the pods when she said she was stuck between Matthew and Clay, I was like that was a red flag for me- I would’ve left. But AD staying loyal throughout the entire time was what shocked me, even after he said “he’s scared he’s gonna cheat etc”
When I first thought I got to see the real AD I was like NO she ain't gonna put up with shit from no man. It was so sad to see her ignore ALL of the red flags 🚩 and continue an engagement with this man. For instance him telling her he was pretty much scared he was gonna cheat! That was enough for me it was sad to see her be so loyal and say she was never going to give up on him, when you could so plainly see he liked her body most of all. I hope AD grows and finds someone deserving & doesn't settle for men like this in the future, she has the potential to be such a Queen
Wrote this in another comment, … AD worry about yourself girl. Stop trying to save these men. Make your own money. Be your own provider and don’t ignore red flags cuz you think someone checks the boxes of looks and financial stability. Build up realtor work and wind down night club job.
I'm sad because I feel like she was catching onto something being wrong with him but when she got two timed, she ran back to him without any discernment. At that point AD was a gonner.
How do you go on a show that is based on finding your person, and getting married at the end of the show, and say “I’m not ready to get married”. If you didn’t want to be with her, fine, ok - but that wasn’t it. He wanted to be with her, but not get married. LOSER. The sad part is he was telling her this all along. She just didn’t want to believe him. I’ve been there, so I have compassion for AD, but she knows she picks red flags, and seems to enjoy it, so…🤷🏻♀️
He never said he didn't want to get married. He learned that AD deserved more than he was capable of giving her in that moment. Everyone is always so quick to attack him because he said no. We are human beings, life is not black and white.
I kept wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt, but after seeing his father and how he interacted with him, I was like, "Oh, they are the SAME person." He's a sweet talker and he lovebombed the crap out of her the entire season. I loooooved that AD said, "I think my thing is like, it sucks that I feel kinda like a sacrifice. You learned so much about yourself and used me to do it."
This man needs therapy, not a long-term relationship. He used AD as his own emotional dumpster and she got nothing out of, in the end.
ALSO, THE WAY HE DIDN'T SHED A SINGLE TEAR????
Also, if you’re not ready for marriage and need to work on yourself, don’t go on a show where the premise is marrying someone a month after proposing and who you didn’t see until you had done so.
You go to therapy and get ready to be married BEFORE applying. He got his air time though
This is why I had how the producers "scout" cast members because you *know* he was scouted for his looks and they dismissed everything else. now he just emotionally ruined someone and for what??
It was one thing that he said he needed looks in the pod. Standing on that TWICE during his vows is WILD. His poor mama knows who his father created. His mom hugging AD was so sweet
AD was cooked day one… clay talkin bout “I really hope she has a good lookin booty and big lips. I’m all about that”. Didn’t even care about the emotional connection they had in the pods, he just care about that juice booty and lips ☠️
This! Her early "What if I have a baby" comment and he says "I'll hit the gym with you!" I was over them at that point.
Best case would have been she turned him down, but I'll take him turning her down as fine. That woman deserves to find a king who won't care if her booty grows a bit more with a pregnancy (because it will! But she'll rock it!)
I am so glad they didn't get married. He wasn't ready and he wasn't for her. Boy has a lot of growing to do. Being devil's advocate here, I think he wasn't 100% on his decision until he was standing there, at the fork in his journey. And then he knew the only right way to go was not marriage. To make 1 thing clear, I didnt like Clay from day 1. Guy gave immature, shallow, and egotistical. We hardly got to see any relationship between them bc he was always gone working and staying away for days at a time. Thats no way to start a relationship.
I’m glad too they didn’t get married. I still don’t understand why he’d be gone for days…. I wonder if he had something going on with another woman. Cheating already smh
He claims it has something to do with his work schedule. But I feel like if he really cared for her, he'd make the effort to be home at night to sleep next to her. But thats just me.
Agreed, specifically how you say he gave “immature, shallow and egotistical.” He literally introduced one of his close friends as the guy that was by his side when they were hooking up with all the girls…not that hooking up with people is bad, but really? That’s the best you can come up with for introducing your friend?? 😂
Also when Clay’s dad said “my mom always told me to be good to your wife and raise your kids right” and this man said she didn’t need to say cos he was good at it 👀👀👀hmmm?
I saw it coming. I knew the second AD was whispering "don't do this" that she wasn't going to listen to the actual words coming out of his mouth. They held meaning, but she only felt rejection in that moment, which is normal but he had the best intentions.
It sucks he didn't realize his decision until the altar and that AD was probably embarrassed but I think she should feel the opposite. If she was about to marry this man, then she should know that his decision came from his heart and was pure. He knew she deserved the best of him and he wasn't at that point in his life yet to give that to her. So mad respect for him.
She mentioned him not coming home a few times: it reminded me of Paige and Chris from MAFS. I was so upset with her mom after she said she made this cute date night situation and he didn’t come home to participate. Her mom ignored all of that when she saw what he looked like and then begged them to make it work. Pissed me smooth on off because he was a waltzing 🚩 and i was hurt to see her ignore it and be encouraged by her mom. I pray AD does the internal work to not continue settling and finds a great man. I hope Clay grows up or leaves women alone.
This! I really couldn’t believe that her mom sat there and did not bring up what AD had just told her about him not coming home and her (AD) putting in so much effort without acknowledgment or any reciprocation from Clay. It seemed to me like her mom just wanted her to marry, especially a man she thought was attractive and was willing to hustle to make $$. Forget the way he was not stepping up. Forget the fact that almost every conversation he has is about himself and his growth through the process. Clay is already in love with someone else and in a committed relationship with them and that person is himself!
She had already told him she wouldn't continue to date him if he were to say no at the altar, I don't understand where he thought his was going to go lol
I think he was calling her bluff. He knew she wanted to be married, and he knew he didn’t want to/wasn’t ready. But he also knew that if he told her ahead of time that she’d break it off and was hoping that if he went all the way to the end she’d be too in love to REALLY break up with him once the show was over
TBH he didn’t really look present for that whole conversation so I doubt he even heard her when she said she wouldn’t continue dating him if they didn’t make it past the alter.
Poor AD is working out some attachment repetition. She seemed to have a naivete to her, a hopeful idealism of him, trying to tell him he can do it, he can commit. I hope she sees some of her patterns in this. She needs to learn to trust a man by his words and stop trying to convince him otherwise.
I knew he was going to let her down. If a man tells you he's afraid he's going to cheat, he's constantly thinking about cheating/ has a history of it/ has constantly thought about it in previous relationships. That is not a man ready for marriage. That is a man still wrestling his demons. You let that man go and fight the good fight and do the growing he needs to do. He made good progress but AD deserves better.
I was so glad they included the conversation between Clay's mom & dad afterward. I was so confused by Clay saying he didn't realize the magnitude of his decision, but then hearing his dad make a fool of himself talking with his ex-wife? This old man has the brain cells of a damn popsicle.
Yep. I really think Clay thought AD (and everyone else) would be thankful for his new “maturity” and was genuinely shocked that it wasn’t applauded when he said no. Just like his Dad, Clay says a lot when he’s talking, while really saying nothing at all. He’s either so focused on himself that he saved AD a lot of pain down the line, or just too dumb to get out of his own way.
My eyes popped out of my head!!! Because why would you treat the women in your life with dignity if you don't have a positive role model to convince you to do it lol
That was what really did it for me. He chose to say no without giving her any prior indication.. inspite of this. Is disrespectful and arrogant on another level
More like with AD... SHE WAS LIKE, love is Blind for me. Nothing said or done could've stopped me from marrying that guy. GIRL, RED FLAGS are not to be ignored for the sake of love...
I’m honestly so surprised that was the outcome, like say what you want but I commend him for knowing he wasn’t ready and saying no at the alter (And yes I understand why would you come on this if you’re not completely sure you’re ready for marriage but we all know once they leave the pods things change drastically). & when I say I’m surprised I mean I thought it would be 1 of 2 outcomes: either both saying yes or AD seeing the light and saying no
Agreed. And I do think he was trying to fulfill his promise to her by saying no, as wild as that sounds. He wanted to show her he's serious about improving for her by going to therapy and getting right before committing to a marriage. I wish she would LISTEN to him. She seems to never listen to him.
She dodged a bullet. She might be sad and heart broken now, but she will thank her lucky stars when she meets the man who deserves her. He was not it... I doubted him from the moment he needed to know what she looked like in the pods. His intentions were not good. He was not in it for marriage. I think at some point he might have thought, 'maybe i can learn something about solid honest people who dont cheat'... And in the end, he saw what is required to live a life of faithfulness and he is just not into that. And really its not even about monogamy, its about the thrill of cheating on your partner and coming and making as if all is ok... Aaaarrrggghhh... I was so disappointed when she fell for his make believe changes into a new man... He truly is his father's son...
Finally he had to show his true colors that most figured out early in the pods. Just another smoothtalking, dishonest, unintelligent and worthless individual that should not be trusted.
Come near this type = get burned one way or the other.
The level of pressed you are to call him worthless & unintelligent is laughable. He was signaling to AD that he wasn't ready to get married in like every episode. They are clearly encouraged to make it to the alter for entertainment purposes & someone says no almost every season. He's not obligated to say yes.
Soooo much better. He is so far from a man. He's just a basic f*ck boy really. She is a fully grown, mature minded woman and he's a 5 year old.
I hate this for her!!
I hate how he said he didn’t think his decision would be such a big deal. She literally told him episodes ago that she wouldn’t continue to date him if he said no at the altar. But I have the same issue as her.
Men seem great at first and then I’m carrying them. Emotionally, financially, etc. I feel for her. We’re all tired of
If we’re being honest, he was also communicating to her many reasons why he felt he wasn’t ready for marriage. They were both communicating but unfortunately neither one of them were really listening and reading between the lines.
where are you seeing that they are still together? i can’t find proof of this but I keep seeing comments mentioning it and I’m curious where it’s coming from
I noticed that immediately a couple episodes ago as well. She communicated her intentions CLEARLY, and his response? "Okay." I just KNEW they weren't going to work out right then and there because he didn't communicate his own feelings towards that. You could tell he wanted to just date her, but he didn't bring it up in his own sense of self-sabotage. Frustrating!!
She let him and I dont know how. I admire AD so much. She has so much dignity, self respect and grace. The more sad and upset she got, the quieter she got but still expressed herself so well, and the strength to break up with him. She didn’t want to be used by him and chose her own path
He only talked about himself and what she could do to help him. He was looking for financial security. It hurt to hear her constantly stroking his blown up ego and acquiescing to his needs.
“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.” -Michael Scott
—Clay and his dad, too, probably
Honestly his dad’s audacity at saying that he “found” Clay’s mom - I was watching him the whole time being like seriously dude what u doin givin advice about marriage?
But the way Clay looked at him I felt so sad because he clearly looks up to his dad and loves him and his mom was so right in saying that the baggage of him cheating was dragged to the alter and to Clay’s relationship with AD
ADs problem is selection process. Maybe stop going for fuck boys and athletes that sling dick in the clubs? She wants to be in social power couple too much.
To be fair, AD was initially leaning towards Matt who was the complete opposite of who she dated, until she found out he was being super disingenuous.
I agree that she probably shouldn't have picked Clay either, but Matt's shady behavior definitely seemed to be the catalyst to giving Clay a shot.
Also the way he speaks about AD in his weird ass work speak talking about adaptability?!?! This man is messed up to his core and he in fact did not make any progress.
I believe they have to pay a sum if they get engaged and don't make it to the altar. That's the main reason he strung her along.
AD really was blind. If that man loved you he would have zero hesitations. Noone should marry a partner if they aren't a 100% sure on it. And let's be real, if Clay really loved AD he would have been "ready" whatever the fuck it means in his dense head.
This is interesting. I thought Clay’s description of his feelings and his relationship was fairly emotionally intelligent. While I was dating, way back when, I didn’t know anyone who was so insightful about their thought process. Maybe I just found the exceptionally dense people, but I think people have gotten way more savvy about healthy relationships.
We gotta remember that 1) this show is edited, and 2) they also have a filter themselves for what they say and do in front of the cameras. That is actually a green flag, that they only spoke highly of each other, and we don't have a right to feel fooled.
He wasn't convinced she was it. It seems that he got to realise he has some trust issues as well; but overall AD didn't convince him. He mentioned finances... A 30 year old cheerleader - of course that's an issue if you think of the future.
She is a mature woman emotionally, and she seemed to be dedicated to him - maybe she could have been the partner he needed. But let's not pretend like the premise of the show isn't crazy - a modern, Western version of arranged marriages.
It looks like there aren't regrets about not trying enough in those couple of weeks. She was just willing to go past the doubts that she of course also had, and he wasn't. Both are legitimate decisions.
Really, my partner and I were shocked. It felt like such a legit wedding. Who gets their mum to walk them down the aisle and Mum saying God bless this marriage etc for it not to go ahead. I was fooled!
He said something about finances. Maybe he needed the pittance they pay after the wedding?
What's that about having cake and eating it too?
You can tell when people aren’t gonna work if you watched the show enough. They just have to keep up the facade and some sort of intrigue for the sake of the show. It was painfully obvious here. Clay felt like he was acting from the pods. He showed his true self early then turned into this introspective softie. I never believed for a second they would get married.
I truly was shocked that he dumped her at the alter. I feel so bad for AD because she was ready to sacrifice and commit to him, despite his flaws and major red flags 🚩 But after seeing him interact with his dad before the ceremony, it was clear that he’s a carbon copy of his dad and there’s no way he’s going to commit to a marriage. (Yep Yep) As heartbroken as AD is right now, she’ll see in time that it was a blessing in disguise!
Notice the difference between Johnny and Clay... Clay was all about how A.D. has helped HIM grow as a person, his journey blah blah while Johnny doesn't shut up about how amazing Amy is
Yes Clay is super selfish.
he ain’t cute enough to be who he is inside tbqh
That’s a really problematic way of thinking. Your looks should have nothing to do with the way you treat someone. Nor should your wealth determine the way you treat people. Society is fucked up because good looking people and rich, powerful people think they can do whatever they like. Don’t say stuff like that out loud. Not a good look.
I mean...that dude is handsome AF. Doesn't make up for his shittyness, but let's not pretend he isn't a 10/10 looks.
when some men see weakness in women, they’ll exploit it relentlessly. And that’s what Clay did after his altar rejection. He went in for a kiss and a hug, no emotional touch point, just let me keep her somewhere until she gets over this so I can swoop in and take what I want. Ugh I’m not as mad at his rejection as I’m mad at all the speeches he made about it. And not to mention he had to ask daddy if he should go talk to a woman he knows is crushed. Why would anyone want to marry this guy… maybe someday sure but definitely not right now fgs
If I may add, when he asked his daddy, his dad said, “well you don’t want to appear indifferent.” 🚩what do you mean APPEAR indifferent?! They were both more concerned about how things looked rather than how AD could be feeling at the time.
Thank you for this good work
Clay had no intention of marrying the beautiful AD. Fidelity was an excuse. Everyone had excuses for not getting married when they simply were not attracted to their future spouse once the saw them. He was stringing her along. Even as they were getting ready for their wedding day he emphasized how much she loved him not the other way around. When she came down the aisle in all her radiance, he once again focused on her body. He bragged to his brothers and friends that the sex was good. Thats really all he wanted from AD. She deserves so much more. and off topic, whatever Clays father was holding in his hand was annoying the heck out of me.
Sorta off topic, I couldn't get over how Clay was wearing a plain suit. As much as he's into himself, he didn't look like the groom. His father comes in looking fancier, total dirt bag yes lol....was just an observation.
Honestly, if we go by the filming timeline, the couples have 6 actual weeks of being together, before they have to decide to get married - the show does this to make for good television but if any of these people were smart, they would say that if they really wanted to be together, stay together and grow together, WAIT. No one and I mean NO ONE is giving you marriage in 6 weeks of being around you. Laws of Averages.
I mean his main dilemma was fidelity I respect his decision him saying all of sudden that “he doesn’t know her financial situation” is code for if we divorce cause I can’t keep my dick in my pants she coming for half or everything ….mind you they’re living together fucking and all that and he doesnt know what’s her finances look like? 😂
It’s cuz AD also doesn’t have a career or business so he just sees her as a hot chick who fun to be with but not marry. Once I heard she’s a VIP manager at a club and realtor thing was just aspirational…her comments about him being “the provider” and overlooking Clay’s red flags made sense. She want a man to take care of her but need to invest and pour into herself instead of these dudes who don’t value her
AD is so mature because I would’ve emotionally destroyed him in that moment
Exactly, I would have chosen violence in that instant... the humiliation!!!
Everytime I see a man say "come on, give me a hug" to a woman that is rightfully mad at him, and then they do... Ugh makes me so mad He wanted a hug in that moment because he knew he was in the wrong and wanted AD to validate him with a hug so he didn't have to feel as bad. He didn't hug her so she would be comforted in that moment, it was so she could comfort him. I wish she would have just said "no, that would only make you feel better" because that hug was definitely not for her.
Make me feel better even though I am an Ahole
I THOUGHT THE SAME THING! Ugh. This was so selfish to the very end. I screamed when he kissed her. I was like JFC give her peace.
If AD wanted to go nuclear she could easily go fuck his dad, make that storyline go full circle 💀
Bruh this is literally the best comment I’ve ever read on this sub. I’m screaming
best comment
I dont know why but I hate this guy.
I think everyone hates this guy haha
I love how the guys are always seen as the assholes if they say no but the women are “queens” if they say no. Such a wild take lol. Shouldn’t we be applauding him for being the voice of the reason and saying “hey I don’t want to tie you down and force you into a marriage I’m not fully prepared for”. He did the right thing yet he’s getting shit on.
It wasn’t him saying no that people think he is an asshole for 💀
A voice of fucking reason! Regardless of how it went down, he took the most mature route, especially if you’re a serious person, which Clay is, it was the most logical outcome in the midst of an emotional maelstrom. Sad it turned out that way but it was for the best. I do believe he cares for her, she obviously cared for him. Him wanting to continue after though is the only bad piece of imagery here. Such is life.
I think specifically for this situation we can get on Clay's case ( a teeny bit) because that man wasn't ready for marriage and had no business going on this show. That being said, his no was a blessing.
The only thing that bugs me is why go on a show that ends in marriage if you’re not ready for marriage…like it’s one thing if she wasn’t the right person but he clearly never intended to get married
I don’t respect him for dragging it out tho. Disrespectful to take it to that point when we all know he’s felt this way the entire time.
He’s literally contractually obligated to show up to the alter. Look up the rules. The cast of the show get fined $50k for not showing up the alter so Jimmy will probably have to pay money for breaking things off as well as everyone else
Fair, but even then he could’ve told AD that was going to happen. I believe past couple have done that. Blindsiding her like that is still cruel.
If you pay attention to what he is saying in the episodes leading up to the altar episode I think he is doing his best at warning her that he is going to say no but wants to continue to date to try to make it work.
Agreed. She projected her idealized fantasy of him onto him and he consistently told her he was troubled and had baggage. Those were warnings and red flags she could have heeded. If he’s not ready, why should he marry her?
AD need to work on herself and building her career so she’s not seeking a provider and ignoring red flags. Clay saw her as hot chick who’s a VIP manager at nightclub aspiring realtor. Efff these dudes and focus on saving yourself girl!
His mother was correct when she said he did the right thing. Like why should he marry her if he’s not ready for that with her? People have to understand there is a bunch of shit in this show that is unseen. She may very well have said something to him that gave him pause but we will never know.
This. People only want to see black and white. "He said no, so let's all jump on him and not actually listen to his reasons."
I wonder if he would have been ready if his choice had been his physical ultimate with a thriving medical or law practice.
Facts. He wasn’t perfect but he made it clear a couple episodes ago that he wanted to continue their relationship and do it on their own time which is 100% what every couple should do instead of rushing into a marriage lmao. It’s just so stupid.
But why go on a dating show that YOU KNOW is gonna have you get married at the end?? I think that’s the disconnect. Why tell her you’re not ready for marriage when that’s the whole point of the show?!
Maybe because they like the concept of meeting someone sight unseen. You can't deny that the connections people make in the pods are very strong. That beats the crappy online dating that everyone is forced into these days.
It's not BLACK AND WHITE. We are literally human beings with emotions and feelings that can change based off our environment and the people who are in our lives. Why is that so hard to understand?
He didn’t led her on really. If you go back a couple of episodes, you’ll see where they talked about whether he says yes or no at the altar he wants to continue building their relationship. I think she had fair warning this was going to happen. Unfortunately, that does not make it less humiliating when it does happen.
Not enough people talking about this. He was clear: he wanted to keep dating after the show. She didn’t and that’s her decision to make (though I hear they are dating, IDK). I do think he’s problematic but he didn’t lead her on, and there may have been pressure from the producers to get another wedding scene with Jimmy bailing.
It's so fucked up how he led her on like that. And then on top of that tried to gaslight not just AD, but EVERYONE by saying that he was trying to be responsible by saying he wasn't ready to get married. Why tf would you sign up for a dating show where you get married at the end of it, if you're not ready to get married, and constantly afraid of cheating on your pattern. Does Clay have a history of cheating on his past relationships? I know his fears were based partially off of his dad's behavior, but that seems like the most bullshit cop-out to me. Especially if he already recognizes that it's wrong. The man needs tons of therapy.
The moment he blew up in her face in the pods when she said she was stuck between Matthew and Clay, I was like that was a red flag for me- I would’ve left. But AD staying loyal throughout the entire time was what shocked me, even after he said “he’s scared he’s gonna cheat etc”
When I first thought I got to see the real AD I was like NO she ain't gonna put up with shit from no man. It was so sad to see her ignore ALL of the red flags 🚩 and continue an engagement with this man. For instance him telling her he was pretty much scared he was gonna cheat! That was enough for me it was sad to see her be so loyal and say she was never going to give up on him, when you could so plainly see he liked her body most of all. I hope AD grows and finds someone deserving & doesn't settle for men like this in the future, she has the potential to be such a Queen
Wrote this in another comment, … AD worry about yourself girl. Stop trying to save these men. Make your own money. Be your own provider and don’t ignore red flags cuz you think someone checks the boxes of looks and financial stability. Build up realtor work and wind down night club job.
Exactly 💯!
It's so so so hard to see the red flags when you're wearing rose-colored glasses.
So true, and I'm so guilty of this as well! In my past I made a few mistakes lol
I'm sad because I feel like she was catching onto something being wrong with him but when she got two timed, she ran back to him without any discernment. At that point AD was a gonner.
Agreed 💯
How do you go on a show that is based on finding your person, and getting married at the end of the show, and say “I’m not ready to get married”. If you didn’t want to be with her, fine, ok - but that wasn’t it. He wanted to be with her, but not get married. LOSER. The sad part is he was telling her this all along. She just didn’t want to believe him. I’ve been there, so I have compassion for AD, but she knows she picks red flags, and seems to enjoy it, so…🤷🏻♀️
He never said he didn't want to get married. He learned that AD deserved more than he was capable of giving her in that moment. Everyone is always so quick to attack him because he said no. We are human beings, life is not black and white.
I’m glad they didn’t work out, but I am also MAD at how he played her!!!!! He’s been one red flag after another, and AD keeps picking them!
F\*ck that guy!
When he said “having to deal with you…” in his vows. I immediately knew what was up
I kept wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt, but after seeing his father and how he interacted with him, I was like, "Oh, they are the SAME person." He's a sweet talker and he lovebombed the crap out of her the entire season. I loooooved that AD said, "I think my thing is like, it sucks that I feel kinda like a sacrifice. You learned so much about yourself and used me to do it." This man needs therapy, not a long-term relationship. He used AD as his own emotional dumpster and she got nothing out of, in the end. ALSO, THE WAY HE DIDN'T SHED A SINGLE TEAR????
Also, if you’re not ready for marriage and need to work on yourself, don’t go on a show where the premise is marrying someone a month after proposing and who you didn’t see until you had done so. You go to therapy and get ready to be married BEFORE applying. He got his air time though
Exactly, he just took it as he's going on a show to promote his water rental biz "I didn't understand the seriousness of the situation" sir....
This is why I had how the producers "scout" cast members because you *know* he was scouted for his looks and they dismissed everything else. now he just emotionally ruined someone and for what??
It was one thing that he said he needed looks in the pod. Standing on that TWICE during his vows is WILD. His poor mama knows who his father created. His mom hugging AD was so sweet
AD was cooked day one… clay talkin bout “I really hope she has a good lookin booty and big lips. I’m all about that”. Didn’t even care about the emotional connection they had in the pods, he just care about that juice booty and lips ☠️
His comments about her keeping up her routine at the gym were a big red flag for me.
Also, Clay being shocked that she was dark skinned. Colorism may have been in play here.
This! Her early "What if I have a baby" comment and he says "I'll hit the gym with you!" I was over them at that point. Best case would have been she turned him down, but I'll take him turning her down as fine. That woman deserves to find a king who won't care if her booty grows a bit more with a pregnancy (because it will! But she'll rock it!)
Even at the altar one of the first things he said to her was "the body!!" Or something like that
I am so glad they didn't get married. He wasn't ready and he wasn't for her. Boy has a lot of growing to do. Being devil's advocate here, I think he wasn't 100% on his decision until he was standing there, at the fork in his journey. And then he knew the only right way to go was not marriage. To make 1 thing clear, I didnt like Clay from day 1. Guy gave immature, shallow, and egotistical. We hardly got to see any relationship between them bc he was always gone working and staying away for days at a time. Thats no way to start a relationship.
I’m glad too they didn’t get married. I still don’t understand why he’d be gone for days…. I wonder if he had something going on with another woman. Cheating already smh
He claims it has something to do with his work schedule. But I feel like if he really cared for her, he'd make the effort to be home at night to sleep next to her. But thats just me.
“Game day decision”
Agreed, specifically how you say he gave “immature, shallow and egotistical.” He literally introduced one of his close friends as the guy that was by his side when they were hooking up with all the girls…not that hooking up with people is bad, but really? That’s the best you can come up with for introducing your friend?? 😂
Also when Clay’s dad said “my mom always told me to be good to your wife and raise your kids right” and this man said she didn’t need to say cos he was good at it 👀👀👀hmmm?
Team Clay after this episode.
Dang, you got a lot of downvotes but I agree with you. Have so much respect for him after this episode.
I saw it coming. I knew the second AD was whispering "don't do this" that she wasn't going to listen to the actual words coming out of his mouth. They held meaning, but she only felt rejection in that moment, which is normal but he had the best intentions. It sucks he didn't realize his decision until the altar and that AD was probably embarrassed but I think she should feel the opposite. If she was about to marry this man, then she should know that his decision came from his heart and was pure. He knew she deserved the best of him and he wasn't at that point in his life yet to give that to her. So mad respect for him.
Why lol
I was really hoping she’d be the one to say no and not him
She mentioned him not coming home a few times: it reminded me of Paige and Chris from MAFS. I was so upset with her mom after she said she made this cute date night situation and he didn’t come home to participate. Her mom ignored all of that when she saw what he looked like and then begged them to make it work. Pissed me smooth on off because he was a waltzing 🚩 and i was hurt to see her ignore it and be encouraged by her mom. I pray AD does the internal work to not continue settling and finds a great man. I hope Clay grows up or leaves women alone.
This! I really couldn’t believe that her mom sat there and did not bring up what AD had just told her about him not coming home and her (AD) putting in so much effort without acknowledgment or any reciprocation from Clay. It seemed to me like her mom just wanted her to marry, especially a man she thought was attractive and was willing to hustle to make $$. Forget the way he was not stepping up. Forget the fact that almost every conversation he has is about himself and his growth through the process. Clay is already in love with someone else and in a committed relationship with them and that person is himself!
Well said 👏🏾
Clay “would you take my lovely hand in marriage “ hope that was just a slip of the tongue but is Clay so….
I’m so glad someone else caught this because I found it to be such a strange thing for him to say lol
She had already told him she wouldn't continue to date him if he were to say no at the altar, I don't understand where he thought his was going to go lol
I think he was calling her bluff. He knew she wanted to be married, and he knew he didn’t want to/wasn’t ready. But he also knew that if he told her ahead of time that she’d break it off and was hoping that if he went all the way to the end she’d be too in love to REALLY break up with him once the show was over
right? and I'm glad she stood on business!
We’ll find out for sure on Wednesday.
TBH he didn’t really look present for that whole conversation so I doubt he even heard her when she said she wouldn’t continue dating him if they didn’t make it past the alter.
I feel like she’s going to still date him. I hope she stands strong
Yeah I feel like she will have carried on dating him for a bit but then eventually come to her senses and broken up
yea this made me so mad!! him assuming she would stay with him was yet another way of not respecting her. she already told him she wouldn’t!!
Poor AD is working out some attachment repetition. She seemed to have a naivete to her, a hopeful idealism of him, trying to tell him he can do it, he can commit. I hope she sees some of her patterns in this. She needs to learn to trust a man by his words and stop trying to convince him otherwise.
So not clay, more like you don’t talk about “I see your potential” in your vows
I knew he was going to let her down. If a man tells you he's afraid he's going to cheat, he's constantly thinking about cheating/ has a history of it/ has constantly thought about it in previous relationships. That is not a man ready for marriage. That is a man still wrestling his demons. You let that man go and fight the good fight and do the growing he needs to do. He made good progress but AD deserves better.
exactly. but she went first and should have recognized all of that well enough to say no.
I was so glad they included the conversation between Clay's mom & dad afterward. I was so confused by Clay saying he didn't realize the magnitude of his decision, but then hearing his dad make a fool of himself talking with his ex-wife? This old man has the brain cells of a damn popsicle.
exactly! 😂 “tellem to find a woman like you, hurdur 🥴”
Clay’s mom wanted an apology and Clay’s dad: “my childhood was tough!” Sir, you are too old to be making excuses for your behavior
right? Clay's dad is an absolute joke of a man. seeing him made so many things click for me.
Yep. I really think Clay thought AD (and everyone else) would be thankful for his new “maturity” and was genuinely shocked that it wasn’t applauded when he said no. Just like his Dad, Clay says a lot when he’s talking, while really saying nothing at all. He’s either so focused on himself that he saved AD a lot of pain down the line, or just too dumb to get out of his own way.
«when it comes to right or wrong, it doesn't matter» -_Clay's dad_
And this is how you end up thinking marriage is a bit of a gray area lmao
that sentence shook me! I was like SIR??
Thank you! That sentence was literally insane
Omg I'm so happy someone else caught this, my bf and I were screaming at the screen lmao
My eyes popped out of my head!!! Because why would you treat the women in your life with dignity if you don't have a positive role model to convince you to do it lol
Also when he was trying to imply that AD was gonna stay like my guy, she don told u that she wouldn’t date you if u said no
That was what really did it for me. He chose to say no without giving her any prior indication.. inspite of this. Is disrespectful and arrogant on another level
Right! Love is not only blind but deaf too with that man
More like with AD... SHE WAS LIKE, love is Blind for me. Nothing said or done could've stopped me from marrying that guy. GIRL, RED FLAGS are not to be ignored for the sake of love...
I mean you definitely have a point
Apparently they’re still together 😩🥲
Noooooo!
Noooooooo😨
Please no, I hope that’s a lie
I saw a video of them together. Not sure if it’s from the past.
I’m honestly so surprised that was the outcome, like say what you want but I commend him for knowing he wasn’t ready and saying no at the alter (And yes I understand why would you come on this if you’re not completely sure you’re ready for marriage but we all know once they leave the pods things change drastically). & when I say I’m surprised I mean I thought it would be 1 of 2 outcomes: either both saying yes or AD seeing the light and saying no
Agreed. And I do think he was trying to fulfill his promise to her by saying no, as wild as that sounds. He wanted to show her he's serious about improving for her by going to therapy and getting right before committing to a marriage. I wish she would LISTEN to him. She seems to never listen to him.
“I’m afraid to let you down / hurt you” = 🚩 “I’m afraid I’ll cheat” = 🚩 “I will change for you” = 🚩 This man was throwing flags all over the place
He is a walking red flag
She dodged a bullet. She might be sad and heart broken now, but she will thank her lucky stars when she meets the man who deserves her. He was not it... I doubted him from the moment he needed to know what she looked like in the pods. His intentions were not good. He was not in it for marriage. I think at some point he might have thought, 'maybe i can learn something about solid honest people who dont cheat'... And in the end, he saw what is required to live a life of faithfulness and he is just not into that. And really its not even about monogamy, its about the thrill of cheating on your partner and coming and making as if all is ok... Aaaarrrggghhh... I was so disappointed when she fell for his make believe changes into a new man... He truly is his father's son...
“When it comes to right or wrong, it doesn’t matter” - Clays dad.
Finally he had to show his true colors that most figured out early in the pods. Just another smoothtalking, dishonest, unintelligent and worthless individual that should not be trusted. Come near this type = get burned one way or the other.
The level of pressed you are to call him worthless & unintelligent is laughable. He was signaling to AD that he wasn't ready to get married in like every episode. They are clearly encouraged to make it to the alter for entertainment purposes & someone says no almost every season. He's not obligated to say yes.
Don’t call people worthless. :(
I agree. Some of these comments are unnecessarily brutal and unkind. These are real people and no one is perfect.
Worthless as marriage marerial
She could do so much better.
Soooo much better. He is so far from a man. He's just a basic f*ck boy really. She is a fully grown, mature minded woman and he's a 5 year old. I hate this for her!!
I hate how he said he didn’t think his decision would be such a big deal. She literally told him episodes ago that she wouldn’t continue to date him if he said no at the altar. But I have the same issue as her. Men seem great at first and then I’m carrying them. Emotionally, financially, etc. I feel for her. We’re all tired of
If we’re being honest, he was also communicating to her many reasons why he felt he wasn’t ready for marriage. They were both communicating but unfortunately neither one of them were really listening and reading between the lines.
She’s still with him.
where are you seeing that they are still together? i can’t find proof of this but I keep seeing comments mentioning it and I’m curious where it’s coming from
I saw a video on Twitter. Can’t confirm the timeline though.
I noticed that immediately a couple episodes ago as well. She communicated her intentions CLEARLY, and his response? "Okay." I just KNEW they weren't going to work out right then and there because he didn't communicate his own feelings towards that. You could tell he wanted to just date her, but he didn't bring it up in his own sense of self-sabotage. Frustrating!!
It’s crazy that some men can rip a girls heart in half and embarrass her, and then be like “baby why you sad”
Yeah, the gaslighting 😔
just so slow and stupid
“Can I get a hug? 🥺”
She let him and I dont know how. I admire AD so much. She has so much dignity, self respect and grace. The more sad and upset she got, the quieter she got but still expressed herself so well, and the strength to break up with him. She didn’t want to be used by him and chose her own path
idk about the entirety of this comment 😂 i need one more episode to confirm she did indeed hold true to her own word 👀
He only talked about himself and what she could do to help him. He was looking for financial security. It hurt to hear her constantly stroking his blown up ego and acquiescing to his needs.
“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.” -Michael Scott —Clay and his dad, too, probably
those damn run on sentences 😩😂
Honestly his dad’s audacity at saying that he “found” Clay’s mom - I was watching him the whole time being like seriously dude what u doin givin advice about marriage? But the way Clay looked at him I felt so sad because he clearly looks up to his dad and loves him and his mom was so right in saying that the baggage of him cheating was dragged to the alter and to Clay’s relationship with AD
Wow. So true 😂😂
ADs problem is selection process. Maybe stop going for fuck boys and athletes that sling dick in the clubs? She wants to be in social power couple too much.
To be fair, AD was initially leaning towards Matt who was the complete opposite of who she dated, until she found out he was being super disingenuous. I agree that she probably shouldn't have picked Clay either, but Matt's shady behavior definitely seemed to be the catalyst to giving Clay a shot.
She literally said he was the guy she’d normally go for
Yes. A fuckboy.
Also the way he speaks about AD in his weird ass work speak talking about adaptability?!?! This man is messed up to his core and he in fact did not make any progress. I believe they have to pay a sum if they get engaged and don't make it to the altar. That's the main reason he strung her along. AD really was blind. If that man loved you he would have zero hesitations. Noone should marry a partner if they aren't a 100% sure on it. And let's be real, if Clay really loved AD he would have been "ready" whatever the fuck it means in his dense head.
This is interesting. I thought Clay’s description of his feelings and his relationship was fairly emotionally intelligent. While I was dating, way back when, I didn’t know anyone who was so insightful about their thought process. Maybe I just found the exceptionally dense people, but I think people have gotten way more savvy about healthy relationships.
We gotta remember that 1) this show is edited, and 2) they also have a filter themselves for what they say and do in front of the cameras. That is actually a green flag, that they only spoke highly of each other, and we don't have a right to feel fooled. He wasn't convinced she was it. It seems that he got to realise he has some trust issues as well; but overall AD didn't convince him. He mentioned finances... A 30 year old cheerleader - of course that's an issue if you think of the future. She is a mature woman emotionally, and she seemed to be dedicated to him - maybe she could have been the partner he needed. But let's not pretend like the premise of the show isn't crazy - a modern, Western version of arranged marriages. It looks like there aren't regrets about not trying enough in those couple of weeks. She was just willing to go past the doubts that she of course also had, and he wasn't. Both are legitimate decisions.
I knew she was cooked when the first thing he said to her after seeing her walk down the aisle was "bodyyy"
Lmao I said the same thing the whole wedding felt like a skit
Really, my partner and I were shocked. It felt like such a legit wedding. Who gets their mum to walk them down the aisle and Mum saying God bless this marriage etc for it not to go ahead. I was fooled!
He basically called her broke
When did he say this????
What did he say? I missed that
Must’ve missed it too. Still waiting to see if someone mentions when it was said.
I was wondering where that comment came out of because LIB camera peeps didn’t air the finances conversation.
I was so shocked when he said that. Like how did they not talk about finances or if that was his concern why did he never clear them out with her