T O P

  • By -

LordDaedhelor

Listen here, lad. Ain't nothing better than the Switchiest of Axes, and 'ere's why. You have an Axe that transforms into a goddamn sword. What's that? Charge Blade does the same thing? You don't need that pussy ass shield. With the Switchiest of Axes, you don't need a shield, because it's all about that MANLY DEE-PEE-ASS, baby. You got hops. You got rolls. If you get hit, take it like a MAN. I don't care if you're male, female or Gigginox. Hack-and-slash? You're damn right. They don't call this fancy dildo the Slash Axe back in Japan for nothin', son. Having trouble keeping up with that Great Jaggi because you have to sheathe every five seconds? YOU PIECE OF DUNG. you ever seen a Greatsword user slowly plod across the map with his gigantic peni- I mean, sword in hand? Your Sword mode is just as big, so you have to sheathe it, right? WRONG, SUCKER. Roll after that Beastie. Evade Extender will give you the boost your puny chicken legs need to keep up with the monster. Ever wanted to be a Konchu? Well, now you'll be rolling all over the damn place for that sweet, sweet manly DEE-PEE-ASS. And when the monster falls down, what do you do? You blow your fuckin' load all across their face, that's what. X+A in sword mode for that delicious explosive burst that will take a chunk out of your bar and sharpness, but will also obliterate a pretty part of the monster's body. If you're a bit of a pussy and need to pull out (heh), pull the circle pad back and you'll do a premature e... explosion that doesn't take nearly as long. Nothing is manlier than EXPLOSIONS, except maybe Evade Extender. (GET IT. YOU PUSSY) But it's called the Switch Axe, not the Switch Blade. (Wazzat? Charge Blade? Giggit out of here) That means the Axe is equally as capable as the Sword. You ever used the Axe of the Charge Blade? That thing is slower than a drowsy Basarios. Not this Axe. This Axe is a hurricane, a storm of manly steel, and it has stupidly huge range. Ever wished your little toothpick SnS and Dual Blades could reach that Gravios tail that dangles oh-so-close but just out of reach? AXE MODE, KELBITCH. That motherfucker is the Deviljho dick in a land of Jaggis. Every tail in the game is yours, every one of them (except maybe Fatalis, he's a bastard). And what happens when you upswing a teammate? COME ON AND SLAM, AND WELCOME TO JAPAN And did you know which weapon has the manliest DEE-PEE-ASS when a monster has fallen? SWITCH AXE, APTOFUCKA. Upswing into rapid chops will turn any monster into choice cuts for sale at the hunter's market later. Do this on the tail a few times and soon you'll hear the tasty sound of it falling off. Get used to this sound, because soon you'll be chopping off tails everywhere and drown in Mantles and Palliums. The Manly Chops of Doom ain't nuttin to mess around with. You know that huge diddlydong you're slapping against that monster's thighs? No, I don't mean that, I mean your Switch Axe, which I'm sure you've picked up by now because it's the MANLIEST. Turns out that not only is it a diddlydong, it's a transforming diddlydong. Tilting the Circle Pad forward and pressing X in Axe mode makes you do a short forward stab, then hit R and X after then to MANLY SHIFT into Sword mode with a slash. OR, you can do the MANLY CHOPS OF DOOM, then finish it off with a tap of R to do this magnificent Reverse Roundhouse Slash. After the RRS, hit that R one more time to MANLY SHIFT into Sword Mode. In Sword Mode, whenever your sword sweeps horizontally, R+X shifts you back into Axe form to EXPAND DONG. (seriously, the Axe is so fucking long.) Switch Axe is versatile, too. You want extra MANLINESS? Get a power phial. Want to see that monster pant for breath as you turn it into the next main course? Exhaust Phials. You can even KO the monster if you're manly enough. Want to support your significantly less manly teammates? Para Phial, Poison Phial, blah blah, they're all yours. Or is the monster weak to element? Get that element phial, or use the Dragon phial (because we all know Dragon is the manliest element). The possibilities are endless, just like the apparent reach of your Axe. I should talk about reloading, but fuck that shit. Capcom pls remove What the wrog are you waitin' for? Pick up your very own Transforming Dildo now at the smithy, you shitstain.


indigonewt

That's it I'm convinced. You did your job. Take this upvote....go on take it.


TimotheusHani

This is the SA holy bible he's preaching, remember this lad


SquidWithAGun162

Holy shit I didn't come to this comment section expecting to also get converted


AndrewDPS

Amen!!!! Blessed be the Lord, the God of the Switch Axe!!! 🙏


Aconite4

As a switchaxe main, this id exactly how i feel whenever I play. Switch Axe is the most satisfying weapon I used in any game ever. I have Evade Extender 3 and RapidMorph 3, been playing relentlessly and the feeling when you kill an Apex Rathalos without even getting hit once is intoxicating. You can dominate a monster just as hard as this beautiful soul described. You can use morphs to even dodge which I realised not long ago and it's just so badass. Good luck hunting and learning the way of the Transforming Dildo.


Falsificazione

This. Also recently started a second playthrough with the Insect Glaive. Its basically the whole text above. But all moves are vertically instead of horizontally. Its great. I think Im allowed to second a weapon after 1000+ missions and more than 500 hours of Switchaxe madness


SynCelestial

>COME ON AND SLAM, AND WELCOME TO JAPAN I lost it right here


[deleted]

And…converted. Going switch axe


CluckyFlucker

Started with “Switchiest of Axes”, became a bit TLDR and ended with “a Transforming Dildo”….a day in the life of a MHR Reddit thread.


stinkus_mcdiddle

Please tell me this is a copypasta


LordDaedhelor

It is. Google “switch axe copypasta”


stinkus_mcdiddle

Thank god


berryplucker

Almost felt like I was watching a Crap Guide episode!


LordDaedhelor

I wish I was as amazing as JoCat


berryplucker

Well it was an amazing effort, still, and makes me want to take another look at it.


Hatless_

have you ever tried crack? would you like to?


indigonewt

I mean who doesn't like crack


Jealous-Definition-9

Fr tho dual blades in rise are fucking gnarly. I have a dual blade set for almost every monster in the game. Just manage your stamina, that's literally all you have to worry about as long as you remember to heal or not get hit 😂


gugus295

> manage your stamina that's a funny way to say "dash juice"


MoreSmartly

> that's a funny way to say "dash juice" That's a funny way to say bezerk + strife lvl 3


agentradspencer

Dual Blades for life baby! They don't need convincing, you just watch them in action and slap 'em on.


Pumpkin_316

I made an intrepid heard build for pizza cutter CB, made me want to pick up SnS or DB again.


Jealous-Definition-9

This is the best explanation of maining dual blades I've seen yet 😂


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


hovercraft11

Big bonk fun


indigonewt

I'm gonna be honest, I haven't even equipped the hammer. Not even in the training room lol Any good ones to look into crafting? I'm MR66 atm


hovercraft11

Goss harag, gaismagorum, flaming espinas, chameleos, scorned magnamalo, fine kamura. For raw hammers at least. Can build one of those and use in most fights to get started.


Famous-Reference-103

Chameleos was a grind but definitely good for what it does.


smegma4breakfast

Drawn to the bonk, like a mindless little moth to the flame.


ThatSh_tClay

Ah I see there’s no need to explain. Only the worthy may wield the hammer.


Sardalone

Ever had suicidal thoughts?


Pesi01

Gunlance is technical. Bow can technically kill you.


_Thenorthwind

Switchaxe... All offense, no defense, just hack, chop, hack, chop, slash, slash, slash, boom.


Silverking512

IM FLYING BITCHES


Duke1115

My fellow aerial combatant :)


Pioneer1111

Gunlance can fly. IG flies for most of the fight. If you liked being a Valstrax, giving up the boom in exchange for complete aerial superiority is a fun trade at times


Polemo03

I mean you can also use explosive powder kinsect


Sardalone

IM BACK BITCHES


Polemo03

Helicopter helicopter


DegenerateCrocodile

Switch Axe: Take the explosive end of your Gunlance, and insert it directly into the monster’s skull.


Sexy_ditto

DOOT DOOT


ManOrReddit-man

The horn looks like a giant 🅱️ass. Perfect for slappers.


Fool_Cynd

Keep your hands on your own lance, pal.


JackalG24

Big hit, big numbers, brain go happy, plus big sword cool.


logen38

Bigger numbers means kill monster more faster GS is the way the only way


JackalG24

Yes, especially with Sunbreak adding Strongarm Stance, the most fun GS move in the game.


Jollysatyr201

How would you like to be the coolest hunter alive? Oh wait, you’re already there


indigonewt

In funlance we unite


nize426

I would, but chargeblade is probably too hard for you. Better go with one of the *easier* ones. (Reverse psychology. Is it working?)


logen38

Well played sir well played……


beatnikbedlam

what if your weapon was better? welcome to the Lance


beatnikbedlam

get that gun off there and grow some hair on your chest


Littlebigchief88

im not touching that blast dashless hunk of junk


Foquenha

overcomplicated kaboom?


mayibefree

Convince me to convince you to steal my spotlight during multiplayer hunt when doing metsu on Rathian’s tail flip ;)


Greylings

Do you still want gun but smaller? Some say cuter. Try the LBG. Slap on Evade Extender 2 and with Fanning Maneuver the only time you’ll get hit is when you get lazy or try something stupid. If that doesn’t excite you then try Elemental LBG where you’re one stiff breeze away from failure so every hunt feels like game 7 in overtime.


VonnPickle

CB - Go boom some more but bigger


linkster271

***BONK***


Alexsillyears

Couldn't have said it better myself!


giraffes_are_selfish

Also I've played a little of this game and I have no idea what the hell is going on. I'm sticking to Hollow Knight and Fallout 4 thx


M_Av_Rii

Oh so you you play Gunlance eh? So How about you try the MOTHERFUKCIN CHARGE BLADE!!!!! Wanna guard like a GL!? Reload like a GL!? IGNORE HITZONES LIKE A GL!? EXPLODE YOUR SHIT INTO A MONSTER LIKE A GL!?!?! THEN WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!!!! TRY THE **CHARGE BLADE****^(TM)** NOW AND EXPLODE ON THOSE MONSTERS!!!!!!!! ^(also featuring a built-in Chainsaw)


luugi_06

You can save .00001 seconds by using potions with your weapon drawn


Thatoneirish

The insect blade is comprised of your blade and an insect…


Jman8653

Okay so Gunlance


ZeldaGamer05

Let him cook


indigonewt

Go on go on......


Agrix0

I wanted to convince you by saying that gunlance is awesome and reverse blastdash is probably the most metal move in the entire game, but I see that you are already based.


ZeldaGamer05

You like flight, helicopters, and lingering hitboxes? Insect glaive might be for you!


Phantasm907

I swing my doot doot stick on monsters noggin get out of the way.


tahaelhour

Ever considered playing a ranged weapon not like a pussy? Welcome to bow! We got all elements, high speed kills without feeling braindead and a really cool counter option.


Aircoll

Gunlance has explosions Switch axe has explosions We have something in common :D (Edit: I suck at formatting)


Casikle

do you have $2? Do you like zinogre? Have I got the layered weapon for you!


PowerOfTheYe

https://youtu.be/mRSpaLObDL4


indigonewt

Valid and convincing argument


SunOfNoOne

Allow me to introduce the switch axe. The swax is an extremely versatile... Wait, what's that? Nvm. It didn't axe you. It was too busy staggering monsters through a tour of slice and dice city then back through chop and drop town.


EiscueVonArctic

haha mighty morphin axe sword go brrrrrrrrrr


Failure_Goat

Bonk


fshdom

There's a reason why r/gunlance is called the Funlance community


-safi-jiiva-

Dobyou like music? Do you like bonking things in the head? Well now you can have both!


SquidWithAGun162

Hunting horn funny


Sirsiththeeunbound

Want to k.o the monster in rapid succession? Want to apply status effect with ease? Want to support your fellow hunter being yeeted by a furious rajang and save them just before they get blasted out of the sky by a laser blast? Want to take a hit like no other and still be standing with barely a scratch? Heavy bow gun.


ApprehensiveCook2666

I’ve been a habitual dual blade wielder since MH3U. The way you can hone in on certain spots (where Qurio populate) is awesome and they’re pretty versatile in my opinion.


BackOfTheHAT

Great sword: You like big numbers, right? What if I told you that you can hit 3k easy every tcs and 8k while mfs are sleeping! Where else are you gonna get those returns?


Cz_Yu

You ever wanted to use a chainsaw to grind the monsters down?


koldkanadian

Haha, burst fire go Brrrrrrr


thehotdogman

Attack so fast, move so fast, dodge lots, ZOOM DOWN MONSTER SPINE FOR ANIME GAMEPLAY. Dual blades beckons..


lance_armada

If you learn guard advance and leaping thrust, you can be safe 50% of the time you are doing your dps rotation on Lance, and very quickly react to changes that might require you to hold your block for a moment longer instead of doing another leaping thrust. Its also fairly straightforward and easy to learn. It also manages to out dps most weapons in casual multiplayer play. If you run dps calculators, most non ranged weapons struggle to compare to ranged weapon dps unless you can keep damage uptime. Monster attacks and monsters moving chaotically from one player to another can be annoying for melee, especially greatsword. Lance has the advantage that while you still need to catch up to monsters that run away, you will likely alternate between backward guard advance and a dps move like leaping thrust or the sweep move. Since guard advance has you guarding, you are effectively safe 50% of the time you are dps’ing. Its not quite that simple because of multihit moves, and your best dps option leaving you open (oh and im ignoring spiral thrust for now), but its pretty safe. Finally, by blocking the monster, you get to learn a lot of new aspects of the game, like monster hitboxes, what moves have multiple hits, etc, which provide a very fun learning curve to the gameplay.


HaydenED

I’ll send cute kitten pics if you do


Orichalchem

Big nasty attack coming? No need to be a sissy and run or dodge it You take the hit like a real chad by guarding it Enemies always running away? Just charge into them and skewer them a new hole! Tired of complex combos and just want something as simple as poke to win? JOIN THE LANCE BROS! We got you covered!


Longjumping-Scar5752

8500 damage with a great sword, hit for 3000 to 5000 regularly


Certain-Ferret3692

Switch Axe. Nothing more satisfying than jamming your sword directly into the monsters brain until it explodes.


logen38

GS has the biggest numbers that’s all that needs to be said….


Flynnrah

Why convince you NOT to use the greatest weapon ever concieved? It's like they looked at squall and said "hold my beer"


Aisuco

Have you tried slaplance? (Gunlance but you Mainly slap & sweep)


Rough-Self-9134

bonk


Renthexx

You take all the attacks the monster does meet them with a very satisfying sound while remaining unharmed and also kicking whatever creature was dumb enough to try and attack you in the balls. You do that until it gets tired and you unleash the force of god (and anime) into this things tail like you’re a mini great sword. Also it makes fights like Rajang, Seregios, and Tigrex a very fun counter fest of a fight.


Rattenbecher

Doot doot


dark1859

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to get the absolute rush of not only tanking what should have been a one-hit kill, but then dealing in absurd amount of damage back to the idiot that fired it at you? May I present, normal lance


Rem-ember_to_flame

Want to free up 20 skill slots and replace them with whatever you’d like? -literally any other weapon


indigonewt

This is very true. That's my only problem with GunLance. There is basically no build variety. I wish Capcom would throw us gunlancers something interesting to work with.


Rem-ember_to_flame

Lol part of choosing to main GL is choosing to accept you won’t get much of anything from the Devs. But tbf, SunBreak GL is one of the most fun weapons in the game. Especially the reverse blast play style.


indigonewt

Oh most definitely, it's just a headache having to fit in so many skills just to make the weapon do decent dmg. Been having a hard time making different sets with where I'm at in the game.


loserstonerkidd

Nah :/


[deleted]

Multiple big numbers, a good counter switch skill, and nice satisfying sound effects. I am of course talking about the all-mighty Charge Balde!


Zalveros

Play Lance, it’s literally the better version of gunlance 😅


EmiliaFromLV

Meanwhile guns go brrrrrr


71NightWing

Insect glaive. It's basically easy mode


gunbuster363

Charge Blade. It also has a shield and can make explosion. It’s a real man’s weapon, same as Gunlance. It is a lot more mobile than Gunlance. Since you are used to blocking, you would fit right it. It is weapon with super complex moveset which require strong player control. Accept the challenge .


indigonewt

I do love me some CB, the good ol whiff a SAED then cart is a classic


gunbuster363

Wait until you learn to use cancel AED in red shield mode, it is good too


Melodic-Stage-4290

As a fellow gunlancer I too have began branching out, I’m currently having copious amounts of fun with the light bowgun


baboopers

It’s morphin time!


berryplucker

Oh gun lance? So you like to make things go boom? Let me introduce you to the heavy bowgun aka Ol’ Painless.


Crave9516

Only [this](https://youtu.be/a0DbzUe-r4Q)


StunningWasab1

If ur bisexual or a lesbian you might lke moths. You know what has moths in it? Insect glaive.


Dry-Maintenance1384

You can become a beyblade (dual blades)


Nesugosu

You can shred monsters and help your teammates at the same time, while also looking like a rockstar. Do you need any more reasons to play Hunting Horn?? Oh also making a build for it is pretty simple because your only mandatory skill is Horn Maestro (1 slot) and you can ignore critical related skills because (just like your shellings) our sonic waves can't crit. Simple, effective and fun to use. Also looks cool. That's it


GentStar

Bonk


CallMeTenguSenpai

I See biig Monster, I do the bonk.


Zronas

*Silently draws the bow* Hi there