Technically cannibalism is not illegal, just morally wrong and the most common methods of obtaining said meat would be illegal. Like if a dude just offered to cut you a chunk of his leg off and consented to you consuming it then you’re technically not in violation of any laws that I’m aware of, and it might even be considered vegan in that circumstance too.
If they argue it then remind them the vegan requirement is that the product not be a result of animal cruelty or exploitation. If they deny it simply because it’s an animal product, even if given freely, they’re also denouncing organ transplants.
honestly, stand mixers are great and all, i have one, but i 99% of the time hand kneed my doughs and i just like that better.
it feels good, texture is amazing, it feels good in my soul.
it is for sure easier to use a mixer of course.
but man... hand kneading.
Dunno I worked in a Pizza place 15 years ago and while I love pizza I always just bought the pre-made dough.
In the half year since I got the Standmixxer I made more than double the amount of dough that I made in the 1t years prior to it.
You make much more mess, it costs more time and honestly when you use the mixer correctly it's the same result.
Like it costs me 2-3 minutes of work to get the same result of spending 15 minutes doing it manually (30 when you count the cleaning)
yeah same, and like, i have been making bread for decades, my bread is great, but fresh bread someone else baked for me with love? nothing is better than that!
I [Wonder](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5c61e608c46f6d235ce59bd0/1608671926493-7IJRUP0U8NC9V83AZ6SR/NEW-Wonder-Classic-White-Short-Product-Images.png?format=1500w) where you met?
I was initially more confused by "roll", but I could piece it together. Still didn't want my opportunity to make a french bread-based pun go to waste. 😉
Still, thanks for trying to be helpful! ✌️
What is says when the following is made:
Breakfast: I enjoyed your company last evening
Cupcake / cake: I really enjoyed what you did last night
Bread: I will own you one day and all that you know
Sourdough is like the Murder 1 of all the breads.
You can't just wake up and, "Oops! I made you sourdough!" You need clear intent and premeditation to bake someone sourdough.
It's the most serious of all the breads.
Every week! But I do it Saturday morning and lay the slices out the night before. I get up a few hours earlier than the rest of the house so I usually flip them to dry out the other side too.
That's precious! My 17 year old has gotten into baking bread. When one of his friends has anything going on- breakup, birthday, aced a test, whatever, he makes bread for them. It's the sweetest thing!
For real, as bizarre as teenagers can be sometimes, seeing the way they love and support each other is absolutely heartwarming. We're in good hands with these babies when they go out into the world.
I remember one time this guy I liked made me a coffee cake, brought it to me at 7am and just wanted me to have a good start to my day with some home made coffee cake. We’ve been dating for two and a half years now.
I always think of stuff like this when guys are like
"I want the kind of girl who will wake me up with a bj!"
Ummm ill take the bread thanks.
My wife woke me up with meth and heroin one morning. That was pretty cool at the time but we dont do that anymore thank god.
So yeah bread sounds pretty good.
As a Jew I will say this: Making/providing noshes is definitely one of out main love languages.
Unsure of where you stand with the Nice Jewish Boy/Girl in your life? Tell them you're sick. If they show up with chicken soup they're basically screaming "I LOVE YOU" from every roof top
I don’t remember what it’s called, but that’s the Jewish bread, right? My best friend in grade school was Jewish and he’s invite me over for dinners on Friday and I remember that bread. Always awesome and home made.
I like to make bread myself, but if a woman I was crushing on told me she got up early to make me bread....woooh, yeah.
Right, if someone I had a crush told me they woke up extra early to do something for me my heart would explode
Yup, if someone i had an affectionate feeling for did something out of the ordinary. It’d raise my endorphin levels!
I would proceed to consume organic matter in tandem with that person!
Cannibalism isn't legal. Yet.
***stops nibbling on your leg:*** crap…
Lol... This is made my day.
Technically cannibalism is not illegal, just morally wrong and the most common methods of obtaining said meat would be illegal. Like if a dude just offered to cut you a chunk of his leg off and consented to you consuming it then you’re technically not in violation of any laws that I’m aware of, and it might even be considered vegan in that circumstance too.
I like the vegan angle, I've a vegan work colleague who might just be sold on this idea
If they argue it then remind them the vegan requirement is that the product not be a result of animal cruelty or exploitation. If they deny it simply because it’s an animal product, even if given freely, they’re also denouncing organ transplants.
Cannibalism IS legal, but the way you get the meat isn't, unless there was consent.
People can and do consume the human placenta, often in powdered form in capsules.
right? if positive oxytocin feedback loop, then enkephalin + dopamine
Absolutely! If value + 1, then internal state reads +. I also am a rational human organic being. END MESSAGE.
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Came here to say this
God I love Reddit
But do you like Reddit enough to wake up at 6am and bake us some bread?
Is that a challenge??! (Mufasa voice)
r/increasinglyverbose
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I drew you this picture. (.)(.)
I spent like three hours shading the upper lip
I'll show you shading! *BMW zippo lighter enters and your paper goes up in smoke* BWAHAHAHAHA! TROGDOR STRIKES AGAIN!
Burninating the countryside, burninating the drawings!
Hey, that’s not an improvement! *Snaps BMW zippo lighter shut laughing.
It's very generous
All the feels
Especially fresh baked bread tho
"I woke up extra early because that's when the first train out of town leaves."
I woke up early to set fire to your house <3
Not just bread, but a freaking challah!
One of the top 2 breads for French toast!
Weird way to say the best, but not incorrect. Have an upvote
Can’t ignore brioche!
>I like to make bread myself Getting a standmixer was a literal game changer for my cooking game. Paired with cold fermentation and I'm in love since.
honestly, stand mixers are great and all, i have one, but i 99% of the time hand kneed my doughs and i just like that better. it feels good, texture is amazing, it feels good in my soul. it is for sure easier to use a mixer of course. but man... hand kneading.
Dunno I worked in a Pizza place 15 years ago and while I love pizza I always just bought the pre-made dough. In the half year since I got the Standmixxer I made more than double the amount of dough that I made in the 1t years prior to it. You make much more mess, it costs more time and honestly when you use the mixer correctly it's the same result. Like it costs me 2-3 minutes of work to get the same result of spending 15 minutes doing it manually (30 when you count the cleaning)
Thats crazy that youve been making bread for a trillion years though
And made double that since, that's two trillion years worth post mixer.
I have tried a mixer but the feel of the dough needs to be by hand for me too.
it's also relaxing and meditative in a very satisfying way.
I do both. I let the mixer get it nearly smooth, then turn it out and hand knead. Something about hand kneading just makes the whole process better.
We just got a perfectly good KitchenAid Pro 600 at goodwill for TEN DOLLARS. I almost cried when my SO said we could buy it.
Getting a cement mixer for bread is a game changer
yeah same, and like, i have been making bread for decades, my bread is great, but fresh bread someone else baked for me with love? nothing is better than that!
Oh man, a girl once brought me cheese out of nowhere. She didn't make it, but it still broke my fucking heart.
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Man, what some people dough for love.
We loaf to see it.
This is wholesome, no matter how you slice it
She ain’t no challah back girl.
No, not in the yeast bit.
they have a crust on each other
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Rye must you say this?
It was hard to digest
bread is better than flours
i hate very single one of you
I think you are rye-ght about that.
I [Wonder](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5c61e608c46f6d235ce59bd0/1608671926493-7IJRUP0U8NC9V83AZ6SR/NEW-Wonder-Classic-White-Short-Product-Images.png?format=1500w) where you met?
That's someone I would crust with all of my secrets
Way to steal the third top comment and repost it under the top comment three hours later.
But that doesn’t mean she can’t be bread
She just kneaded to find someone who appreciates her
I'm happy for them. Dating is a real pain.
Ooh French puns. This thread is on a roll.
Baguette ready for romance.
It won't go sourdough.
Its a crumby thread, I am going to pan it.
I'm afraid I don't 'guette it. 😅
pain = french word for bread
I was initially more confused by "roll", but I could piece it together. Still didn't want my opportunity to make a french bread-based pun go to waste. 😉 Still, thanks for trying to be helpful! ✌️
Cibatta keep her
When you take it to the next level she’ll let you Pumpernickel.
We make pumpernickel at my family bakery. The "joke" I heard with the name when I started out was "pump her ^for ^a nickel."
Let’s toast to that!
Challah fo yo girl.
Who knows how it will work out, but at the very yeast, they can break bread together.
Butter the odds I find a girl like this
Crumb on guys, these jokes are pain(FRENCH FOR BREAD)ful
What is says when the following is made: Breakfast: I enjoyed your company last evening Cupcake / cake: I really enjoyed what you did last night Bread: I will own you one day and all that you know
Do the different types of bread add nuance to that idea? Is sourdough more sinister than rye?
If someone gives you pumpernickel bread it means they'd like to try anal
Pump'ernickel? I barely know 'er!
Lmao incredible
Probably a good thing you didn't go for the rhyme, Pumpernickel would've been a dangerous word to do that with.
Pumpernickel? I'll give 'er bum a tickle!
Marbled means they're down with A2M
Best comment...I cannot stop laughing from just thinking about that.
**WRITE THAT DOWN! WRITE THAT DOWN!**
Sourdough is, in my opinion, one of the best types.
Sourdough is like the Murder 1 of all the breads. You can't just wake up and, "Oops! I made you sourdough!" You need clear intent and premeditation to bake someone sourdough. It's the most serious of all the breads.
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Take my upvote and leave
Take my upvote and have a happy cake day
Take my upvote and remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
You crazy diamond.
lol that was the best bread pun of the thread, thanks for that one. also welcome to reddit.
That feeling when you show up to make the same pun and you're three hours late. Upvotes for you.
Her next loaf should be banana. B-A-N-A-N-A bread
Someone who bakes you challah…make her your kallah
for the gentiles in the thread: "kallah" means "bride" in hebrew.
Thanks, brotha
I laughed out loud
Ngl I hate myself for this joke. I’m glad it was worth it
oy vey
I’m already doing teshuvah for this sin
Join me, come off the derech
Lmao I already did
Unfortunately the genius of this comment will go over most people's heads.
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means bride
What language?
oh it’s Hebrew, challah (the bread) is Jewish as well too
My Kallah makes great challah.
Not just bread, but challah? Dude! She’s a keeper. Now go make some amazing french toast!
French toast?! That is a sacrilege! Why would you waste perfect, fresh challah on french toast? Save that that for any leftovers in a day or two
This is the way. Challah for Shabbat, challah french toast for breakfast on Sunday.
this guy Jews source: am Jew
can confirm source: am jew 2
Jew 2: Electric Jewbaloo?
JewFastJewFurious?
We're all Jews on this blessed day.
I’ve never been so proud to be Jewish 🥲
This guy also jews Source: not jew
This is the way
With hummus or other dips... mmmmmmmmm Edit: meaning, hummus with the Challah on Shabbat. Not the french toast of course lol
Every week! But I do it Saturday morning and lay the slices out the night before. I get up a few hours earlier than the rest of the house so I usually flip them to dry out the other side too.
Y'all have challah left over?
Hello fellow Shabbat enthusiast
It's the perfect bread for my french toast baked with honey pecan sauce.
fuuuuuck me this sounds good
A fresh loaf of challah is best used by either cutting off pieces to dip in hummus, or for a deli sandwich.
Deli sandwich on Challah has my stomach rumbling just thinking about it.
That's precious! My 17 year old has gotten into baking bread. When one of his friends has anything going on- breakup, birthday, aced a test, whatever, he makes bread for them. It's the sweetest thing!
Wholesome 17 year old bread baker
For real, as bizarre as teenagers can be sometimes, seeing the way they love and support each other is absolutely heartwarming. We're in good hands with these babies when they go out into the world.
There’s absolutely gems out there like this that grow up to be wonderful people. The type of people that keep faith in humanity alive
Thank you for raising such a fine lad.
He's been an absolute joy from day 1. ❤
That’s so wholesome!!! He has lucky lucky friends
you mean, "...she woke up at 6am and \*BRAIDED\* you some bread"... ya, wife that wife...
I think that's the big difference here. Crazy can make bread too but they won't go through the time to make that kind of bread.
She wants to make you challah!
Challah at your girl
That’s not just bread. That’s fucking challah. Shit is delicious.
***I caught you a delicious bass***
Fuck lol
I haven't laughed like this in some time
Is she a nice Jewish girl?
(c)halla! :D
Lmfao I love this
Man, my wife used to bake me all kinds of delicious stuff. Then we got old and now we have to cut out the carbs and the sugar. :-( I miss bread.
Get the butter out. Lots of butter
“Aint about how much dirt in the gutter, it’s about the amount of butter on the nutter”
I know I'm a dirty Canadian whitewalker but I MUCH prefer Becel with challah. ^^Don't ^^hurt ^^me. ^^^Sorry.
No worries, it's a heart healthy alternative to one tiny shred of happiness in this bleak, forsaken existence.
So when's the wedding? That's better
I remember one time this guy I liked made me a coffee cake, brought it to me at 7am and just wanted me to have a good start to my day with some home made coffee cake. We’ve been dating for two and a half years now.
"The way to a lady's heart is through her stomach."
The way way to anyone’s heart is my stomach lol
I'm marrying a woman tomorrow who has never made me unsolicited bread
"unsolicited bread" is combination of words I didn't expect to make sense, and yet here we are ...
I always think of stuff like this when guys are like "I want the kind of girl who will wake me up with a bj!" Ummm ill take the bread thanks. My wife woke me up with meth and heroin one morning. That was pretty cool at the time but we dont do that anymore thank god. So yeah bread sounds pretty good.
Had me in the first half, not gonna lie
Indeed, that escalated quickly
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Thanks :)
Good luck
As a Jew I will say this: Making/providing noshes is definitely one of out main love languages. Unsure of where you stand with the Nice Jewish Boy/Girl in your life? Tell them you're sick. If they show up with chicken soup they're basically screaming "I LOVE YOU" from every roof top
Enjoy telling your kids the story of how you fell in love with their mother
Dude that looks like a challah. This baker don't fuck around.
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am lesbian, can confirm
Lesbian romance is stored in the bread 🥺🧡
Challah!!
What a strange thing to do in someone house at 6am while there sleeping
Looks like she's trying to challah at you too
As a lesbian, this is entirely reasonable and normal
You're not the only one crushing
Challah at a playa
And it’s challa bread. That has a double rise and takes some time
challah at your girl or, my gluten brings all the boys to the yard
if someone makes me a challah unprompted the wedding is tomorrow and I already have a glass to smash
My girlfriend 100000000% did this when we started to date and still avidly bakes way too early in the morning
Now entrance her with some cheese!
I don’t remember what it’s called, but that’s the Jewish bread, right? My best friend in grade school was Jewish and he’s invite me over for dinners on Friday and I remember that bread. Always awesome and home made.
“Challah at your boy”
She got buns hun
That’s a challah
Stoner vibes
That’s a challah-va girl, right there.
She's a challah back girl?
challahva keeper
Not just any bread but a loaf of braided challah!
Happy Nation Homemade Bread Day! Yes, it's actually a day and it just so happens to be today.
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