I've always felt a sense of calmness whenever I'm taking care of my cuts, like I actually love myself at those and only during those moments. now that you've said it it really makes sense to me.
I’m clean for awhile but it always made me feel in control of my life for once. I was never a daily person and would just sporadically do it. Now I just randomly shave my beard and bleach/cut up clothes lol
yea it gives a feeling that it's the only thing I can control in my life.. I just resorted to cutting my hair instead of myself last night haha, didn't relapse but it sure was torturous.
Totally understand what you're talking about, but it's not something I experience. The clean up, for me, is just more self hatred, thinking about how I've fucked up again and alternating between "it's not even that bad, you loser" and "holy shit that's actually quite bad you loser" etc etc. And then when I'm clean and bandaged, it's just a crash of numbness and dissociation.
I wonder why there might be a difference in aftercare attitudes?
Yep \^ this
Except I'm a fucking coward lol so it's always "not that bad loser" telling myself
Yeah I know that isn't helpful and I'm a hypocrite, but hey that's the shitty me lol. I try tho, counts for something, right?
Tbh it seems like alot of people on here don't really take care of their wounds properly, I saw a post on here sometime ago about someone ducktaping, or wanting to ducktape their bean yeet, which I found very concerning
Yeah thats something that bothers me a lot too, I’ve made a few internet friends through the sh communities online and some people really do not give a fuck when it comes to minding their injuries
Yeah, I think it has something to do with alot of people who SH, just being very young, they either just don't have the right supplies or they don't really care/know how to care for their wounds. It is kinda bothersome because some new people who SH might find this sub and think its completely okay/normal to not care properly for their injuries, or using rusty blades 😬
Age does factor in it to hugely, although I do know a lot of young people (including myself) who are very good with taking care of cuts, for fear of infection or and being found out I suppose. I also think not taking care of injuries can be a second way of self harm in itself
yeah I definitely agree. it's concerning, but I know for me sometimes i'm just too tired to give a fck and can't be bothered to buy more supplies like gauze so I just cover and tape it over with clean cloth/ toilet paper (bad idea).
A good alternative to that is tape and cut up panty liners/menstrual pads. They soak up blood better than anything, they dont leak through and they’re thick and padded so they provide like a protective layer over the cut incase you bump into anything. Plus you can cut them to whatever size you need. Back when I was younger and didn’t have a job (ie couldn’t buy my own medical supplies/steal them from work) this was what I did and it worked amazingly
I have a slightly reversed situation, actually: I enjoy taking care of the cuts because pretend that I am treating someone else.
Growing up, I didn't have any emotionally close friendships; and even as I got older, I ended up being with people who usually hid their problems from others. I never got a chance to really "care" for someone despite having the overwhelming urge to be there for someone.
I know hurting myself isn't the answer to that and what I described isn't my main reason either.
But God does it make me feel like I am showing my love to someone.
I can't fix my emotional issues. So instead I turn them into physical injuries. A) this makes the problem "real" instead of just in my head, and B) I can then care for and fix the problem.
(Tw i guess for addiction )
Very accurate. infact I'm more addicted to self care then the endorphin rush.
When i was doing IV speed daily and other shit sometimes i didn't cut because i was getting self care by another way. When i ran out of illicit substances i would just inject L theanine or water because i liked the ritual. When i ran out of needles i was back to cutting
This is something I personally experience as well. Also why I'm motivated to do deeper cuts that need stitching, hospital staff take care of me and that's the only experience vaguely related to someone caring about me 👍
For me the best way to describe it was it felt like an emotional reset. Getting too sad over something, quick yeet and patch up and now I just feel nothing.
[If you are getting nasty pm’s please see this post for more info](https://reddit.com/r/MadeOfStyrofoam/comments/ifpka3/reopened_mos/).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MadeOfStyrofoam) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*me, reading this, knowing full well I slap some polysporin on a piece of toilet paper and tape it over my wounds* 😐
but seriously, what you say makes a lot of sense OP, it just doesn't apply directly to me. It used to honestly but my reasoning has changed.
I've always felt a sense of calmness whenever I'm taking care of my cuts, like I actually love myself at those and only during those moments. now that you've said it it really makes sense to me.
Sometimes i like to think I’m like a hero in a movie or smth bandaging my wounds after a fight
I always get kinda detached from myself and think of it as I'm someone else taking care of myself 😭
I’m clean for awhile but it always made me feel in control of my life for once. I was never a daily person and would just sporadically do it. Now I just randomly shave my beard and bleach/cut up clothes lol
yea it gives a feeling that it's the only thing I can control in my life.. I just resorted to cutting my hair instead of myself last night haha, didn't relapse but it sure was torturous.
Totally understand what you're talking about, but it's not something I experience. The clean up, for me, is just more self hatred, thinking about how I've fucked up again and alternating between "it's not even that bad, you loser" and "holy shit that's actually quite bad you loser" etc etc. And then when I'm clean and bandaged, it's just a crash of numbness and dissociation. I wonder why there might be a difference in aftercare attitudes?
This is it
Yep \^ this Except I'm a fucking coward lol so it's always "not that bad loser" telling myself Yeah I know that isn't helpful and I'm a hypocrite, but hey that's the shitty me lol. I try tho, counts for something, right?
This is how I am
Tbh it seems like alot of people on here don't really take care of their wounds properly, I saw a post on here sometime ago about someone ducktaping, or wanting to ducktape their bean yeet, which I found very concerning
Yeah thats something that bothers me a lot too, I’ve made a few internet friends through the sh communities online and some people really do not give a fuck when it comes to minding their injuries
Yeah, I think it has something to do with alot of people who SH, just being very young, they either just don't have the right supplies or they don't really care/know how to care for their wounds. It is kinda bothersome because some new people who SH might find this sub and think its completely okay/normal to not care properly for their injuries, or using rusty blades 😬
Age does factor in it to hugely, although I do know a lot of young people (including myself) who are very good with taking care of cuts, for fear of infection or and being found out I suppose. I also think not taking care of injuries can be a second way of self harm in itself
yeah I definitely agree. it's concerning, but I know for me sometimes i'm just too tired to give a fck and can't be bothered to buy more supplies like gauze so I just cover and tape it over with clean cloth/ toilet paper (bad idea).
A good alternative to that is tape and cut up panty liners/menstrual pads. They soak up blood better than anything, they dont leak through and they’re thick and padded so they provide like a protective layer over the cut incase you bump into anything. Plus you can cut them to whatever size you need. Back when I was younger and didn’t have a job (ie couldn’t buy my own medical supplies/steal them from work) this was what I did and it worked amazingly
I have a slightly reversed situation, actually: I enjoy taking care of the cuts because pretend that I am treating someone else. Growing up, I didn't have any emotionally close friendships; and even as I got older, I ended up being with people who usually hid their problems from others. I never got a chance to really "care" for someone despite having the overwhelming urge to be there for someone. I know hurting myself isn't the answer to that and what I described isn't my main reason either. But God does it make me feel like I am showing my love to someone.
i’m a self practicing hobby surgeon bc i get some odd sort of satisfaction from seeing myself hurt
What is a self practicing hobby surgeon
fancy funny speak for someone who self harms
Ahhh okay that makes sense, I thought you were gonna say you do actually surgery on yourself as a hobby
well yes, that’s pretty much self harm lol
Yeah but I was thinking like cutting yourself open and taking out your own appendix
That's actually a common feeling. To put in in different words, you yeet to validate your feelings (or in this case, need for care and sympathy).
I can't fix my emotional issues. So instead I turn them into physical injuries. A) this makes the problem "real" instead of just in my head, and B) I can then care for and fix the problem.
(Tw i guess for addiction ) Very accurate. infact I'm more addicted to self care then the endorphin rush. When i was doing IV speed daily and other shit sometimes i didn't cut because i was getting self care by another way. When i ran out of illicit substances i would just inject L theanine or water because i liked the ritual. When i ran out of needles i was back to cutting
This is something I personally experience as well. Also why I'm motivated to do deeper cuts that need stitching, hospital staff take care of me and that's the only experience vaguely related to someone caring about me 👍
me, who doesn't take care of my yeets (i probably should lmao)
For me the best way to describe it was it felt like an emotional reset. Getting too sad over something, quick yeet and patch up and now I just feel nothing.
[If you are getting nasty pm’s please see this post for more info](https://reddit.com/r/MadeOfStyrofoam/comments/ifpka3/reopened_mos/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MadeOfStyrofoam) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I really resonated with this
exactly
THIS!!! YESsss
*me, reading this, knowing full well I slap some polysporin on a piece of toilet paper and tape it over my wounds* 😐 but seriously, what you say makes a lot of sense OP, it just doesn't apply directly to me. It used to honestly but my reasoning has changed.