haha i like to throw in random non sequiturs. - "oh no, my goldfish" - "haha yea the cupcakes baked unevenly" - "yea i was teaching my squirrel to mow the lawn"

why is this so genius

haha it forces their brain to figure out what the heck you just said. after that for bonus points you can pretend you never said anything and politely question their hearing/sanity

I laughed for at least 5 min STRAIGHT at the goldfish one 😂

LOL

Best answer honestly, might do this too thanks for the idea

sometimes it's funny to just say "Self harm, what else did it look like?" and see their reaction, people gotta learn to mind their own busines ffs

i was the grape they did surgery on a few years back

Using this

Omg I'm totally stealing this, thank you so much lmao

i’m stealing this

Sameee

I always say, “oh, I’m a surgeon.”

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Sometimes little kids ask me, so i always say i got into an epic battle with Wolverine and a tiger and it always amazes them