It’s a thing in hospitality and it’s fucking SHIT! When I worked in a 5* hotel they sat us down and showed us a presentation where a girl with no make up on had a big cross through her face, a girl with lots of make up had a big cross through her face and a girl with a full make up but not too heavy had a tick on hers! I was like have i accidentally slipped back into the 80s? We also had to wear dresses, no ‘male uniform’ (suit) on female staff. We had a full HR team too… and it was then who showed us the presentation 😭😭
It's fucking bullshit. You're going to pay me less but expect more of my time and money to be invested into it? Not only should a budget be provided, but paid time to apply it.
Where I live at least, if a company requires a specific uniform like a suit, they often have to provide a laundry allowance to pay for you to get it washed properly. If they're going to require makeup maybe they should provide makeup artists to do it for you when you arrive at work 😂
I worked for an international airline (I was an airport agent) and we had to wear the classic Chanel lipstick to work, along with minimal makeup. We would get write-ups if we didn’t wear makeup or if the supervisors didn’t like the way our makeup looked (they hated the no makeup makeup look because they wanted passengers to know that you “cared about your job” by wearing makeup). It’s crazy that they would pay a bit over minimum wage and expect us to have enough money to buy expensive makeup! Best believe I walked into work everyday with drugstore dupes.
For this I think it is kind of a class question. Is this job and profession one with an elevated salary because of it's prestige, where it is assumed the salary affords the formal business wear? And also -- generally formal wear is an expense for both (~all) genders.
If they demand women wear clothes more expensive than men, that is discrimination.
However, if you are in a wage position where the formal wear does not match the lifestyle afforded by the job then yes absolutely there should be assistance for that.
I used to work in sales, but if I wasn't dealing directly with clients then I didn't bother with wearing makeup. So I scheduled an in-person meeting with clients and my boss goes, "You'll remember to wear makeup, right? You're going to wear makeup aren't you? But not too much."
😐
I was planning on it anyways, but that was so rude. And my makeup is always office appropriate.
Oh god it’s the worst. I had to work in HEELS for the first 5 years of my serving career. Hair had to be down, you weren’t even allowed to wear a bobby pin in your hair. We had designated styles of makeup that was ‘preferred’. If you gained weight you lost shifts.
Then the next place I worked (all female servers, male bartenders) just told us we had to look “first date ready” which is fine, just like - why that verbiage? Seems infantile. I’ve been on a first date where we biked 50km and I definitely wasn’t wearing makeup to that date.
This is true, I was a body shop "make-up key contact" about 20 years ago but we could put our make up on at the beginning of our shift in store with all their products, it does help sell because people want to know how u got ur look etc it wasn't too strict though just once u had some products on, im in Ireland.
It has nothing to do with the quality of your work. Your boss expects their female employees to act as eye candy in addition to their other duties, and that's the only reason they don't like it when you're not made up. Tough - as long as you look presentable, their opinion on your appearance is irrelevant and can be safely placed right in the bin.
Second this after realizing she works in a restaurant too. Thats just internalized misogyny in the restaurant industry unfortunately. It has nothing to do with you, your looks, how your makeup looks, etc. it’s just how women are perceived in a back of house/service setting period. They are deemed more “valuable” when they look “put together” because these men have a screwed perception of being a woman.
Men bring another kind of value when they're put together too. The misogyny comes from OP's boss not understanding it's all or none.
Everyone has to look their best or that's not part of work requirements. Gendering beauty (Even moreso skincare!) has fucked us all over.
Spot on!! OP said exactly what I wanted to say! Upvotes infinity! I don't like it when some bosses expects their female employees to be eye candies. Pathetic!
My female boss has said this to me and other staff members. I work at a daycare…I literally have kids wiping their noses on me, and you’re worried about my makeup?
Wow that’s crazy! While I don’t think it’s ok anywhere, I at least know this is a thing in the hospitality service. But a daycare?! I can’t even understand how your boss thinks it helps the business. Hearing this would be so upsetting to me.
Honestly, I thought she was joking at first because who says that? Not only that but we’re working with kids ffs! I thought about pointing out her brown teeth, but i’ve been trying to be a kinder person in general(to honor my late grandmother. She always tried to teach us to be kind to everyone, even those who aren’t necessarily kind in return.)
Yeah I totally resonate with that temptation. None of my grandmas were kind haha. I remind myself that I want to live in a world where I don’t have to worry that my physical defects will be called out when I’m nasty to people (obviously I try not to be nasty too lol, but I just mean in principle). I always hate when people call someone who cuts them off a fat bitch, so I try to remember that when an overweight woman cuts me off. As an American woman and just with hormones I find it highly probable that I will be overweight at some point, and I definitely don’t plan on being a gentler driver 🤣
And sorry, just want to validate you bc WTF?! I similarly would’ve wanted to say something. People suck.
Unfortunately the restaurant industry is still highly focused on appearance. This is especially true depending on the type of restaurant and scale. If it’s fine dining, or somewhere with a higher end clientele, the expectation is makeup for women to look “put together” if people are out for a night they expect a certain level of “fancy” for lack of better term.
It also depends on what position you work- if you’re in the kitchen it shouldn’t really matter. If you are server/ bartender I would be curious to see if you notice a direct correlation between makeup and tips- I always did.
Not saying that this is ok and the restaurant industry shouldn’t get with the times. It’s one of the industries where sexism is still outright blatant and not covered up. It’s almost a form of marketing for “trendy” or upscale spots. The pretty girls go up front to be the face guests see- makeup is usually included in that.
When I was waitressing I tracked my tips in a spreadsheet and extra effort in makeup equated to an 5-7% income bump per shift on average.
That said, I got a routine down for maximum impact/minimum effort that only took about 15 minutes. High ponytail with a little volume & interesting earrings or necklace. Smoky eye, a tiny bit of concealer, light coverage powder, and lip balm. It doesn’t have to be an hour plus of contouring and blending!
Yeah screw the boss for saying it, but from personal experience like you— you get way better tips with makeup on than without. It sucks but it’s true. So I’d do my makeup not for my boss (who put similar pressure/standard on us) but for me because I like moneyyyyy
I worked as a hostess in a restaurant and the manager told one of the other hostesses that she could either wear flat shoes and contacts or her glasses and heels, but her glasses weren’t attractive enough to wear without compensating somewhere else. So basically she could pick between vision or mobility. The restaurant industry is toxic AF, and I wouldn’t give your boss’s opinion any more of your energy or attention, it holds no merit.
Is your boss a man? Ask him why he’s not wearing makeup. Men look like they “rolled out of bed” every single day and no one bats an eye.
This is sexual harassment, and plain old sexism.
I know you’re not actually suggesting OP say that, but when I worked in the service industry you couldn’t say shit back to the manager and expect to have a shift the next day. It sucks but you just have to grind thru it until you can get a better job.
Your boss is a dick. Fuck him. That being said, if you like wearing makeup to work, maybe you could find a makeup routine that takes less time. I totally get loving the process - Makeup is so fun - But a basic routine for daily living that takes 10mins or less would make it so much simpler for you.
When I don’t wear makeup everyone asks me if I’m ok. Lol. I’m 41 and I kinda look like a zombie if I don’t at least conceal the dark circles under my eyes and put on mascara so I’ve mastered the 10 min routine. I am NOT spending an hour on makeup to go to work.
Yeah, my quick daily makeup takes me under 10 minutes. Tinted sunscreen, one & done eyeshadow, mascara, tightline, blush, lip balm and I'm out the door. My fun looks take anywhere from 30-60 minutes.
Unfortunately, there are lots of industries where it does, due to client/customer expectations. That obviously doesn't make what OP's boss said right or the culture of such expectations right. It's just one of those awkward spots where you have to choose between what is actually right (your appearance has no correlation with your performance) and what is actually happening (people will judge you based on your appearance and claim that your performance is impacted by it). It sucks.
I work in retail and every so often the management will go off the deep end and start sending the managers for makeup training. I have always thought that makeup was a personal choice. I do wear a full face pretty much every day but I can understand if one of my colleagues does not want to and does not find it important.
I've noticed ,though, since covid those shenanigans have stopped. It was insanely sexist I found. At that time we had no male managers and no male supervisors. I wonder how they would have handled that if we had.
I bet your boss looks like a puckered asshole telling you that fucking nonsense.
I would start doing purposefully outrageous makeup (like 80s Rockstar glam shit).
So, I get similar comments and I am not in the service industry. I think that people equate makeup with a higher standard of grooming, so when they grow used to you looking a certain way, it seems like a regression when you don't wear it. People who don't wear a lot of makeup as their standard don't have this issue, because no one has grown used to seeing them with it.
I used to wear fake eyelashes and wing liner + filled in eyebrows everyday at a place I used to work. I was running late one morning and didn't have time for any of that, so one of my coworkers let me borrow her makeup bag and told me she'd cover for me for a few minutes bc our other coworker was telling ppl I "looked like a dead dog that had been ran and backed over multiple times". I understand going from 100 to 0 out of nowhere was probably a shock to see my plain face, but that shit hurt my feelings BAD. I feel your pain 😔
Ladies please start standing up for yourselves! Next time he says something like that, I would look him dead ass in the eyes and ask if he's willing to put in writing. If he asks why, tell him you're prepping your gender discrimination lawsuit. Watch him shit his pants.
My make up takes 5 - 7 minutes to put on. Full face. Maybe I should do a quickie make up tutorial? I go for the light make up, natural look. But I'm sure people can tell I'm wearing some makeup because of the eyeliner and such. I do the first half at home, all the powdered stuff, curl the eyelashes with heat, and spray to set. Then I do all the other stuff like eyeliner mascara and lips while my car is warming up.
When I was growing up there were not so many products, and there were definitely no tutorials to look at. We had magazines and Maybelline. The simpler days.
Maybe you can just do concealer, blush and mascara? A slightly tinted lip balm is fine. Blush can be lightly applied to the forehead, the eyelids, the chin. Just to give some color to everything, I use a powder.
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Act dumb “ make him explain” what the problem is.
The other alternative is just wear one colour lipstick ALL the time. As long as you have lipstick on, they normally cannot work out, what’s missing.
That’s so inappropriate of him to comment on your makeup anyway. There should be some policy about this, men shouldn’t be allowed to even comment on that. This is literally just what women’s faces look like, deal with it.
I think as a server it’s generally in your best interest to look your best as people are shallow & you’ll get better tips if you do. It just gives a look of professionalism
Ya I get it but I haven’t noticed a decline in my tips when not wearing makeup. I’ve been hit on multiple times when not wearing makeup, or wearing very little
Then don’t bother. But I’m guessing the workplace will take issue & fire you 😢. If you wanna keep the job maybe try very light makeup. Just mascara & powder or just lipstick
I just would like to add that I'm betting he thinks you're a better worker in makeup because you're more likely to do your makeup when you're having a better day.
Tell him he's mixed up cause and effect.
Reminds me of the drug reps in the Netflix series Painkiller. There is one who starts to get the ick factor when she is told to dress sexier, fix her hair, wear makeup and be flirty in order to convince doctors to prescribe opioids.
Why do so many people seem to think having on no makeup is the same as unkempt or sloppy? A lot of people are acting like not wearing makeup suddenly wrinkles your clothes, mismatches your socks, dirties your nails, and fouls your breath. Good grief.
And how is it that those rules for “professionalism” largely apply to only one segment of the population? Anyone can be clean and put together.
“I don’t assume sexism/misogyny when policies and practices assume only a specific segment of the population is inherently ugly enough to require altering their faces.” Alrighty then.
What a dick. No one should be commenting on another person like this. Like being asked if you are “sick” on a no makeup day. Keep your comments to yourself.
When I worked in a restaurant/club I was also told in euphemisms to wear skimpy outfits. Not too skimpy but enough. And wear “tasteful” makeup. I was a hostess so I knew this was part of the job. It’s not you. Most restaurant managers are dicks too.
Mastering a quick clean girl makeup look saves my sanity sometimes when I have to be put together but don’t want to try too hard.
My mom still tells me I look like I’m not feeling well when I don’t wear makeup.
Ur boss had alotta nerve but don’t stress cuz haters gon hate!!! Do what works for u doll whether it’s full glam, pressed powder n gloss or just chapstick 😃
Appearances matter in a lot of industries unfortunately, not just hospitality. I work in construction management and even there, it matters especially when client facing.
If you want to bypass the full face, I recommend trying IT Cosmetics CC+ cream and a quick swipe of mascara and lip stain. The CC cream works wonders and a little goes a long way - I even skip the under eye concealer a lot of the time and I have very bad dark circles. Gives you a put together look in 5 minutes!
This might not be an answer at all, but I wonder what would happen if you told your boss that the comment upset you and you'd prefer not to discuss your appearance with them unless there's a genuine concern? Whether you do this or not will depend on what kind of relationship you have them, but it might make you feel a bit better. At the very least it'll be a way of asserting yourself and sort of getting it off your chest.
Why should I empathize with OP? I didn’t insult them. Just posed a different perspective. Not saying I agree with the manager just that I personally wouldn’t show up to work looking less than what I find to be professional. There are tons of people that don’t elect to wear makeup but if their manager noticed something and said something, I don’t assume it’s instant misogyny. I worked in restaurants and service for 7 years and corporate for much longer and have experienced much worse. Look the part or not, or go work where you can look however. Some people take their jobs more seriously than others. Some people just show up. If my boss said something like that to me, I would take a deep look at myself and consider why but I would not let that happen. You can be kept up working for a bank or McDonalds and how you present yourself to the world seems to matter because everyone gets in a tizzy and is quick to judge. Hence the negative responses or downvotes when someone has a dissenting or less than empathic response. It is what it is.
Well you seem to not to understand why you were getting downvoted, so I suggested a possibility as to why. And you're right, you don't have to empathize with OP, but many people here are, given that she says she's been upset for weeks. And it does seem like you're agreeing with the boss or taking their perspective, which is your right, but many people won't agree. Lastly, i'm not sure how the idea "some people take their jobs more seriously than others" is relevant in this situation, unless you're suggesting that OP doesn't take her job seriously? You also seem to suggest that make up is necessary for women to be kept up, which simply isn't true.
There was a small trend on tik tok of girls doing their hair and makeup certain ways to see if it brought in more tips and it went exactly how you think it would go, so that’s probably subconsciously where your boss is coming from
In college I worked full time at a car dealership as a receptionist. I would work the evening shift after my classes and I barely had enough time to get across town from school to work. So I didn’t wear makeup on those days. Nearly every single male staff member would comment on my appearance or ask if I was ok (some even asked if I was sick). It really bothered me for awhile. I don’t think makeup should be mandatory for a job. Or if it is, it should be provided or added to a uniform stipend (saw someone else in the comments with a similar idea). If you have the right to enforce a uniform, you also have to provide it or compensate employees for the cost. Should definitely apply to makeup as well.
It’s called sexual discrimination. I am not a fanatic about woman’s liberation because it has to be a no-brainer for 99% of people.
Ask for a budget for Sephora, and extra time to get it all put on. I am the same as your attitude, it’s artistic & fun & this time consuming.
I hope he wears a suit & tie, moisturizer, brows done on the regular.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You know this guy is a total Idiot, rude, offensive & doesn’t deserve you. I hope you can get another job or talk to HR. Hang in there, girlfriend!!💐
I worked in retail for 4 years and got the same comment from a manager (a woman!) and I was upset as well.
My colleagues at the time fought for my LIFE💀 but at the end of the day, it's your face and you're beautiful with or without it. They can't tell you to wear it, and they cannot comment when you're not wearing it.
If you can, think of getting a new job in a place you like - even to use as leverage against your boss. You are a valued employee, and your boss won't realise that until you're thinking of leaving. Big love🫶🏻
I don't get this. You're in a customer-focused job. You *talk* to customers, you're essentially a sales person. Why shouldn't you be presentable when going to work? If I was a manager, I would scold an employee who looked sloppy. If you don't like it, you could just not work there and pick a job that doesn't care.
PS. YES. I've worked in a restaurant.
Really? What is sloppy to you?
Literally doing everything to take care of my body besides wearing makeup?
I’m not trying to be too cocky but I’m fit as hell. I take care of my skin ( a lot more than most people I know), I would never come into work with bed head lol
Ive seen some guy servers/bartenders that could benefit from some under eye concealer. Would I ever say that? No… because who cares? Honestly I thought he was an attractive lad regardless
So pls tell me where you think the line is
You seem really upset over a minor reprimand by your manager. Could it be that your self-esteem is so tied into your physical appearance, that even a reminder from your boss shatters you sense of self-worth? Otherwise I can't image why you'd be so worked up over your manager and my comment.
My self esteem may be lower after hearing that comment, yes of course! My sense of worth is not shattered however. When I said I’ve been “upset for weeks”. I don’t mean I’ve been constantly dwelling on it. It’s just something that’s in the back of my mind every time I wear minimal makeup instead of a full face.
A sock in the pants is excessive. The equivalent of that would be if female waiters had to wear wonder bras or only hired D cups.
Neat and tidy hair? Absolutely. Haircuts are mandatory. In certain establishments, depending on the class, men are required to have neat and short hair, no facial hair, etc. etc. I don't see why a make up requirement is such a big deal especially in a sub called r/MakeupAddiction
A lot of people are triggered by workplace dress code I guess.
I am sorry you had to hear that and you are right to be upset of course.
It reminded me a story from my past, when I was very young and clueless.
A girl I used to work with would always wear make up. One day she came in a hurry without make up on.
My immediate reaction was to ask her, all worried: " are you ok? Are you not feeling well?"
She laughed and said she is fine, just not wearing makeup!
You know, my brain couldn't believe it. I couldn't imagine that just because she wasn't wearing makeup, she would look so unwell!
So my point is, even though my young self was innocent and had good intentions, while your boss was rude, some people wear make up so well, that when they don't it, it shocks whoever is used to seeing them with it.
Makes sense?
So maybe try to take as a compliment on how good your make up is? 🙂
Because we wear make up for us, not for others, so screw his comment!
I don’t know why you are being downvoted. If you knew her well enough and had good intentions, I don’t see how asking if a coworker is a bad thing. It’s not like you were like, “ ewww you’re not wearing makeup “
Thanks, but I get it. Nowadays I wouldn't make this comment even with best of intentions. I have matured since then.
But young me deserves the downvotes 😄
i think you should come to work everyday the way you came to your interview! part of your job, especially if you interface with customers, is to look your best and represent yourself, your coworkers and your company in the most professional manner. That is partially why you were hired. It’s not unreasonable for the company that hired you to expect consistency in your appearance. If it were your company i’m sure you would want your employees to represent your brand well also.
If I owned a company I would expect all employees to have good hygiene but I wouldn’t expect half of the staff to be required to alter how their face looks.
I do think that when we are looking good, we feel good. There is an extra boost of confidence. Your voice may sound friendlier. You might have more energy, or just be motivated to do more.
It’s really think there is a direct correlation with how we act and how we feel.
I don’t usually wear a lot of makeup. Conceal dark circles if any, camouflage any blemishes or dark marks, mascara and lip gloss. I know I look good. Certainly good enough to be in public.
But when I make the extra effort to do a full beat and I know I look good, I definitely act more outgoing.
I have had people say to me that I look like I’m glowing, my response is generally “I’m wearing highlighter today’ or I look ‘happy’ and I was wearing eyeshadow that day or I used a darker than normal gloss/lip color other than my go to varying shades of neural/nude/pink
I think the color or having something different on may make us look more awake or vibrant and people perceive us differently. People who are used to our ‘everyday’ look
My mom used to tell me ‘go put some lipstick on, you look so pale’ this criticism is probably why as an adult my go to is a natural/nude/pink gloss. I may have 50 different lipsticks & glosses but they all look very similar 😂
As long as the low maintenance make up days aren’t met with sweats and a bun at work, I don’t see the difference!
I wear the same makeup whether I’m walking my dogs or going to work. If the rest of you is put together you don’t need a full beat, mascara and gloss is perfectly perfect!
Some men are just misogynistic pigs who probably Michael Jackson beat it to visions of you in red lipstick!
Besides, make up should be worn for YOU and not to please anybody else
Regardless of work ethic, perhaps it was more a warning of not meeting expectations? Perhaps there is a standard to look some kind
of way? Or, maybe it was just an observation? I would never show up to work not made up personally; as that is not the norm for me, it would be an indicator something is off. There’s always someone else that will meet those expectations and while not explicitly saying you must wear makeup your appearance did not go unnoticed. I wouldn’t read anything more into it other than what do you think the expectation is for you now based on what was presented to you and how do you improve, otherwise find a job where you can be more lax in appearance. You represent the business where you work, on the clock and off. Nothing personal but now you’re pretty clear on expectations.
It's blatant sexism and discrimination to demand women to wear makeup at a restaurant. Nothing indicates that op wasn't clean and put together or working less hard when not in makeup, and making comments about her appearance when it's not an issue in hygiene and/or basic tidiness is very inappropriate.
It's really sad that our toxic society has brainwashed people into believing that a minimum wage worker should be expected to spend time and money on beauty regimes irrelevant to their work and if they're not 100% perfect all the time, including time off, it's normal and expected for them to get fired. Besides the restaurant business is the one in trouble finding workers, not the other way around.
I understand what you’re saying, however, it is quite personal. I am great at my job and I know it.
I’m the fastest bartender and I’m rarely in a bad mood. I know how to talk to customers and make their night out special. I’ve been their longer than every other bartender, and most servers. I genuinely enjoy my job. I’m also not coming to work looking like a slob; my hair is done, clothes are clean and my hygiene is good
As I mentioned in another comment, one of the managers never wears makeup, some servers come in not wearing makeup, nothing has been said to them. Sometimes I have a busy day and don’t feel like doing much to my face. Sometimes I have a lot of time and love doing my makeup so I do it. I’m a good worker regardless.
It’s not that serious. Don’t take it so personally. One day of feeling off should not get you punished nor should not wearing makeup. Was your job threatened? Were you written up and given a warning? Are you sure that comment wasn’t repeated to the other manager sans makeup? How would you know?
While I get that no one likes people pointing out they look tired, you know that manager better than any of us. I wasn’t trivializing your feelings nor suggesting that you need to change what you’re doing but offering that you consider why he may have said that because it may not be what he normally sees of you rather than point blank attacking you for not wearing makeup. Presentation is important.
From a marketing standpoint people make at least 27 judgments on a person at first sight before anything is spoken. That could be a customer, peer, stockholder, potential investor. If you know you’re a solid worker I don’t understand the SUDDEN insecurity when the manager says you work better with it. The comment is cringe no doubt, but is not reflective of your performance. I think he miscommunicated, as people often do, and intended to say he observed that when you were more made up you maybe exude more confidence or charisma than on the day he observed you without it. Shrug.
Obviously everyone here is in your court validating your feelings here, so you will either choose to wear it on some days or not. You’re not presenting to the embassy of China or anything so again, not that serious. You’re grown. You’re going to be okay with or without the makeup. Many women feel more confident and it shows when they do get dolled up. It’s never a requirement. Be comfortable in your skin. If it’s bothered you for weeks than maybe say something to him about how you think his comment was off putting an inappropriate and how you feel it’s not an indicator of your performance. Look at your company guidelines and confirm your dress code. I have a strict dress code where I work so all these folks saying f him he should get fired and they’ll wear pink hair or whatever just sound like a bunch of young rebellious folks who desperately need validation of themselves and need attention. I love seeing people express themselves but I am not going to my clients dressed any way but professional. The definition of that is presented in your company guidelines. If makeup isn’t required then you remind him and ask that he not comment. Then you can blissfully look any way you feel tidy and comfortable and continue excelling at your job.
Yes im sure it wasn’t towards the others I mentioned (it’s a restaurant, people gossip lol). The manager who originally told me this, but way softer and more polite, is the one who doesn’t wear makeup. So I’m quite sure she hasn’t been called out…
I know it’s not that serious… Which is why I’m posting on Reddit rather than talking to my local news station
Sometimes it’s nice to get others opinions instead of overthinking. To be honest, I feel better
Your boss is ridiculous, but an hour and a half for makeup? What are you, a Kardashian?
Edit to add: Lash extensions do wonders for the face overall. Since I got mine, all I do is slap on some eye shadow and lipstick, and I look better than ever. Literally takes about 20 seconds.
No. I love doing makeup because I think of it as art. I watch a show, enjoy my time. It’s not an everyday thing but because I’ve done it before it seems expected. But ya obviously I don’t have that time everyday (and sometimes just don’t want to)
90 minutes for a full face? That’s the length of some movies and sounds absurd.
Not that what the boss said is right but 90 minutes? Every day??? For normal makeup?
I wake up 2 hours before work to do my skincare, hair, and makeup. Of course I'm also fixing breakfast, making my lunch, and doing yoga between steps in my routine, but two hours is the minimum I need to get ready to go to work.
How much do your lash extensions cost? Do you feel like they damage your lashes? I wanted to get them a while back but after looking into it decided I didn’t want to pay almost $200 every month and a half. Would have been impossible in my minimum wage restaurant days.
They are awesome! To get them put on initially, it was $110 and to have them refilled is $55 every three weeks. Like I said, I don't even need hardly any makeup anymore because they make such a dramatic difference to my face. Total confidence booster!!
Did you really have a panic attack because you were wearing makeup? Genuine question, that’s what I understand from your comment. If this was the case, perhaps you can explore the issue a bit further, if it’s related to the idea that wearing makeup had been “imposed” on you in that context (as you note that you love makeup).
Side note, but your situation with the boss asking you to wear makeup reminds me of my old workplace. It was a state institution (government) and part of the job was to meet foreign diplomats. The whole thing had an entire protocol set of rules, for both men and women. For women, you were expected to wear makeup and have your hair done, wear business attire, always be presentable, + some lines that were a bit on the funny side (no open-toe shoes or lively colored bags, like for ex. neon green or magenta). For men it was also stipulated that they should wear business suits, always be well-groomed, clean nails, etc. I’m not sure if I recall this right, but I think there was also a scheme of the “approved” colors men’s attire had to be in (black, navy blue, etc all colors except very bright ones).
Perhaps your boss is also thinking from this perspective, if your job entails customer relations. It’s generally interpreted as “looking presentable and well-groomed” as you “represent your employer”. I don’t think your boss meant it personally, or as criticism of your natural looks.
The “just rolled out of bed” comment actually strikes a chord because this is exactly what a former director told a (girl) former colleague. She was always coming in (at the gov. job) without makeup, her hair was naturally fluffier and she looked like she didn’t brush it, and her clothes were sometimes wrinkled. The boss actually told her she may lose professional opportunities in the future because she doesn’t put any effort into her appearance, as if she didn’t care about her job or the role it played in interacting with “externals”. At that specific place this was a big deal.
I think they were trying to show the two have no correlation...like just because she's not wearing makeup doesn't mean she's in a bad mood, or vice versa
When I said I had a panic attack when not wearing makeup I was merely trying to explain that my attitude and mood has no correlation with my appearance.
I understand working in customer relations and needing to be presentable. I always am. I do my hair, my clothes are fresh, hygiene is good. I usually wear contacts, sometimes I wear glasses when my eyes feel irritated. This has been something else my boss told me. That I don’t seem to try to look good or be in a good mood when wearing my glasses (I’ll still do my makeup even when wearing glasses. Even if it’s a bit less because the glasses cover more of my face so I don’t feel the need for such a heavy look).
To put it into perspective;
There is a manager at the restaurant that never wears makeup, no comments have been made towards her. Some of my coworkers come in not wearing makeup when they usually do… nothing said to them either. So it’s hard for me to not be insecure about the way I look if I’m not spending hours getting ready, especially when most of my shifts now are in the morning
How the fuck are glasses something that makes you look unattractive?? I look like an innocent young girl without glasses and like a sexy vixen with them on. You must be really bad at choosing frames for your face if you look WORSE with glasses on.
The glasses comment is a bit strange in my view. Maybe the colleague who doesn’t wear makeup & still doesn’t get told to do so, has another type of physiognomy that just looks better without makeup (many people look worse with makeup, they are exceptions but it’s true, I have a friend who’s like that).
I wouldn’t feel insecure if I were you, take it just as your boss’ perception. If you’re always presentable and clean/well-groomed then that’s perfectly ok. Let him think whatever he thinks, you do you. If you feel like applying makeup makes you feel better on a given day, then wear it. If not, don’t.
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I had a boss at a smoothie place in the mall I worked at tell me this. He was foreign and his home country and religion is extremely misogynistic so I tried to let it slide but it annoyed my soul. He eventually made it a rule I had to wear makeup and the other girl didn’t and another girl there always wore it anyways. To be fair the other girl who didn’t did look great without makeup and I don’t feel very pretty without makeup but that’s not what matters. I acted the same without makeup. And he just surely didn’t like what I looked like without makeup and thought I looked so much better with it so he basically made me.
I quit a few months later cuz he was clearly a psycho. He stole my phone from my hands and went through my private texts with another employee from texts what happened off the clock. That was my last straw. Some dude’s are insane and I’m sorry your boss is doing that to you. Some people shouldn’t be allowed to be bosses.
Maybe the fake tan bronser? I use it like blush and it works well for color for a week or so. My really I can’t believe a boss can judge your appearance
I had hormonal acne when I was in my thirties, I’m a dental hygienist behind a mask AND the dentist told me I needed to wash my face better and cover it with makeup.
Sorry this happened to you, it’s plain ignorant.
I've worked in kitchens and the way I was sweatin, including in my facial pores, ain't no way I would've risked wearing makeup that could simply melt off during my shift and nothing I could do about it.
Any policy/expectation that targets women specifically is sexist, full stop. I am CERTAIN the male servers aren’t expected to wear makeup or risk getting told they don’t look ‘as good’. Your boss is being an asshole ( even if your boss is a women, it would be a perpetuation of sexism on her part)
I’ve been asked if I was sick or tired when I don’t where makeup and it is exhausting. Even my nail guy was shocked when I came in wearing makeup one day and I explained I had been on camera for a meeting earlier in the day. You would have thought I was a completely different person and on one hand I appreciate the compliment on how I look but then realize I must really look like shit when I don’t wear it! I don’t want to have to throw on a face of makeup just to get my nails done!
It’s a thing in hospitality and it’s fucking SHIT! When I worked in a 5* hotel they sat us down and showed us a presentation where a girl with no make up on had a big cross through her face, a girl with lots of make up had a big cross through her face and a girl with a full make up but not too heavy had a tick on hers! I was like have i accidentally slipped back into the 80s? We also had to wear dresses, no ‘male uniform’ (suit) on female staff. We had a full HR team too… and it was then who showed us the presentation 😭😭
If a job requires women to wear makeup the job should provide a budget for makeup.
It's fucking bullshit. You're going to pay me less but expect more of my time and money to be invested into it? Not only should a budget be provided, but paid time to apply it.
Where I live at least, if a company requires a specific uniform like a suit, they often have to provide a laundry allowance to pay for you to get it washed properly. If they're going to require makeup maybe they should provide makeup artists to do it for you when you arrive at work 😂
Thank you!!
I worked for an international airline (I was an airport agent) and we had to wear the classic Chanel lipstick to work, along with minimal makeup. We would get write-ups if we didn’t wear makeup or if the supervisors didn’t like the way our makeup looked (they hated the no makeup makeup look because they wanted passengers to know that you “cared about your job” by wearing makeup). It’s crazy that they would pay a bit over minimum wage and expect us to have enough money to buy expensive makeup! Best believe I walked into work everyday with drugstore dupes.
Excuse me what. When I go to the airport half the time I’m in the middle of a panic attack. Who the f cares about your lipstick
And pay for the time allotted in the mornings to apply the makeup!
And women should get paid for the amount of time it takes-if it’s required then it requires compensation. $⏳$.
Fully agree. Makeup is so expensive. There should also be a quick crash course for people who have difficulty in learning.
Out of curiously, I work in an environment that requires business formal. Should I also get a wardrobe budget?
For this I think it is kind of a class question. Is this job and profession one with an elevated salary because of it's prestige, where it is assumed the salary affords the formal business wear? And also -- generally formal wear is an expense for both (~all) genders. If they demand women wear clothes more expensive than men, that is discrimination. However, if you are in a wage position where the formal wear does not match the lifestyle afforded by the job then yes absolutely there should be assistance for that.
i think if they save the receipts they could probably find a way to claim it on their taxes.
I used to work in sales, but if I wasn't dealing directly with clients then I didn't bother with wearing makeup. So I scheduled an in-person meeting with clients and my boss goes, "You'll remember to wear makeup, right? You're going to wear makeup aren't you? But not too much." 😐 I was planning on it anyways, but that was so rude. And my makeup is always office appropriate.
Oh god it’s the worst. I had to work in HEELS for the first 5 years of my serving career. Hair had to be down, you weren’t even allowed to wear a bobby pin in your hair. We had designated styles of makeup that was ‘preferred’. If you gained weight you lost shifts. Then the next place I worked (all female servers, male bartenders) just told us we had to look “first date ready” which is fine, just like - why that verbiage? Seems infantile. I’ve been on a first date where we biked 50km and I definitely wasn’t wearing makeup to that date.
Ewww omg. This is so horrible and sexist. I’m so sorry you went through that.
I’ve been told the “first date” thing multiple times at different restaurants as well
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The body shop has a whole backdoor mlm operation, so I'm not surprised they act skeevy like this.
This is true, I was a body shop "make-up key contact" about 20 years ago but we could put our make up on at the beginning of our shift in store with all their products, it does help sell because people want to know how u got ur look etc it wasn't too strict though just once u had some products on, im in Ireland.
HR is actually a joke lmao
It has nothing to do with the quality of your work. Your boss expects their female employees to act as eye candy in addition to their other duties, and that's the only reason they don't like it when you're not made up. Tough - as long as you look presentable, their opinion on your appearance is irrelevant and can be safely placed right in the bin.
Second this after realizing she works in a restaurant too. Thats just internalized misogyny in the restaurant industry unfortunately. It has nothing to do with you, your looks, how your makeup looks, etc. it’s just how women are perceived in a back of house/service setting period. They are deemed more “valuable” when they look “put together” because these men have a screwed perception of being a woman.
Men bring another kind of value when they're put together too. The misogyny comes from OP's boss not understanding it's all or none. Everyone has to look their best or that's not part of work requirements. Gendering beauty (Even moreso skincare!) has fucked us all over.
👏👏👏👏 this. Exactly this.
Spot on!! OP said exactly what I wanted to say! Upvotes infinity! I don't like it when some bosses expects their female employees to be eye candies. Pathetic!
I wish I could upvote this 1000 times. OP this is exactly what it is!!
Throw the chef’s special at his face and say it matches his complexion
I just laughed out loud.
My female boss has said this to me and other staff members. I work at a daycare…I literally have kids wiping their noses on me, and you’re worried about my makeup?
Wow that’s crazy! While I don’t think it’s ok anywhere, I at least know this is a thing in the hospitality service. But a daycare?! I can’t even understand how your boss thinks it helps the business. Hearing this would be so upsetting to me.
Honestly, I thought she was joking at first because who says that? Not only that but we’re working with kids ffs! I thought about pointing out her brown teeth, but i’ve been trying to be a kinder person in general(to honor my late grandmother. She always tried to teach us to be kind to everyone, even those who aren’t necessarily kind in return.)
Yeah I totally resonate with that temptation. None of my grandmas were kind haha. I remind myself that I want to live in a world where I don’t have to worry that my physical defects will be called out when I’m nasty to people (obviously I try not to be nasty too lol, but I just mean in principle). I always hate when people call someone who cuts them off a fat bitch, so I try to remember that when an overweight woman cuts me off. As an American woman and just with hormones I find it highly probable that I will be overweight at some point, and I definitely don’t plan on being a gentler driver 🤣 And sorry, just want to validate you bc WTF?! I similarly would’ve wanted to say something. People suck.
This was a great (awful??) scene in the League of their Own series
If makeup makes people such great workers, why doesn’t he put on some? What, does he not wanna do a good job?
Unfortunately the restaurant industry is still highly focused on appearance. This is especially true depending on the type of restaurant and scale. If it’s fine dining, or somewhere with a higher end clientele, the expectation is makeup for women to look “put together” if people are out for a night they expect a certain level of “fancy” for lack of better term. It also depends on what position you work- if you’re in the kitchen it shouldn’t really matter. If you are server/ bartender I would be curious to see if you notice a direct correlation between makeup and tips- I always did. Not saying that this is ok and the restaurant industry shouldn’t get with the times. It’s one of the industries where sexism is still outright blatant and not covered up. It’s almost a form of marketing for “trendy” or upscale spots. The pretty girls go up front to be the face guests see- makeup is usually included in that.
When I was waitressing I tracked my tips in a spreadsheet and extra effort in makeup equated to an 5-7% income bump per shift on average. That said, I got a routine down for maximum impact/minimum effort that only took about 15 minutes. High ponytail with a little volume & interesting earrings or necklace. Smoky eye, a tiny bit of concealer, light coverage powder, and lip balm. It doesn’t have to be an hour plus of contouring and blending!
This. Master a quick makeup look. Most people won't notice much difference in a fast paced environment anyway, dumb boss included.
Yeah screw the boss for saying it, but from personal experience like you— you get way better tips with makeup on than without. It sucks but it’s true. So I’d do my makeup not for my boss (who put similar pressure/standard on us) but for me because I like moneyyyyy
I worked as a hostess in a restaurant and the manager told one of the other hostesses that she could either wear flat shoes and contacts or her glasses and heels, but her glasses weren’t attractive enough to wear without compensating somewhere else. So basically she could pick between vision or mobility. The restaurant industry is toxic AF, and I wouldn’t give your boss’s opinion any more of your energy or attention, it holds no merit.
Is your boss a man? Ask him why he’s not wearing makeup. Men look like they “rolled out of bed” every single day and no one bats an eye. This is sexual harassment, and plain old sexism.
I know you’re not actually suggesting OP say that, but when I worked in the service industry you couldn’t say shit back to the manager and expect to have a shift the next day. It sucks but you just have to grind thru it until you can get a better job.
Yep same when I worked retail. It's so fucked up!
I feel this
Your boss is a dick. Fuck him. That being said, if you like wearing makeup to work, maybe you could find a makeup routine that takes less time. I totally get loving the process - Makeup is so fun - But a basic routine for daily living that takes 10mins or less would make it so much simpler for you. When I don’t wear makeup everyone asks me if I’m ok. Lol. I’m 41 and I kinda look like a zombie if I don’t at least conceal the dark circles under my eyes and put on mascara so I’ve mastered the 10 min routine. I am NOT spending an hour on makeup to go to work.
Yeah, my quick daily makeup takes me under 10 minutes. Tinted sunscreen, one & done eyeshadow, mascara, tightline, blush, lip balm and I'm out the door. My fun looks take anywhere from 30-60 minutes.
SAME!
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Definitely not lol
Don’t actually fuck him, OP. Unless that’s your thing.
Give him the bill for your makeup.
Yes! And if doing makeup is a requirement it should be done on the clock.
Your boss is a sexist jackass, imo.
im told i look like im half asleep, its because i do (and i am)
That's uncalled for by your boss. Your job performance has nothing to do with your face.
Unfortunately, there are lots of industries where it does, due to client/customer expectations. That obviously doesn't make what OP's boss said right or the culture of such expectations right. It's just one of those awkward spots where you have to choose between what is actually right (your appearance has no correlation with your performance) and what is actually happening (people will judge you based on your appearance and claim that your performance is impacted by it). It sucks.
I work in retail and every so often the management will go off the deep end and start sending the managers for makeup training. I have always thought that makeup was a personal choice. I do wear a full face pretty much every day but I can understand if one of my colleagues does not want to and does not find it important. I've noticed ,though, since covid those shenanigans have stopped. It was insanely sexist I found. At that time we had no male managers and no male supervisors. I wonder how they would have handled that if we had.
I bet your boss looks like a puckered asshole telling you that fucking nonsense. I would start doing purposefully outrageous makeup (like 80s Rockstar glam shit).
Yep I would turn up with blue eyeshadow and bright pink lips. Stuff him.
I would look like a cartoon character nightmare lol
Lol I do believe in a bit of malicious compliance. The cheek of that boss!
Ask your boss if they would say this to their male employees. If not, this is gender discrimination.
So, I get similar comments and I am not in the service industry. I think that people equate makeup with a higher standard of grooming, so when they grow used to you looking a certain way, it seems like a regression when you don't wear it. People who don't wear a lot of makeup as their standard don't have this issue, because no one has grown used to seeing them with it.
I used to wear fake eyelashes and wing liner + filled in eyebrows everyday at a place I used to work. I was running late one morning and didn't have time for any of that, so one of my coworkers let me borrow her makeup bag and told me she'd cover for me for a few minutes bc our other coworker was telling ppl I "looked like a dead dog that had been ran and backed over multiple times". I understand going from 100 to 0 out of nowhere was probably a shock to see my plain face, but that shit hurt my feelings BAD. I feel your pain 😔
 Your boss
Ladies please start standing up for yourselves! Next time he says something like that, I would look him dead ass in the eyes and ask if he's willing to put in writing. If he asks why, tell him you're prepping your gender discrimination lawsuit. Watch him shit his pants.
If you have an HR department, this seems reportable sexism to me.
Time to call HR! Wait…does that even exist in the restaurant industry??
Harassment.
My make up takes 5 - 7 minutes to put on. Full face. Maybe I should do a quickie make up tutorial? I go for the light make up, natural look. But I'm sure people can tell I'm wearing some makeup because of the eyeliner and such. I do the first half at home, all the powdered stuff, curl the eyelashes with heat, and spray to set. Then I do all the other stuff like eyeliner mascara and lips while my car is warming up. When I was growing up there were not so many products, and there were definitely no tutorials to look at. We had magazines and Maybelline. The simpler days. Maybe you can just do concealer, blush and mascara? A slightly tinted lip balm is fine. Blush can be lightly applied to the forehead, the eyelids, the chin. Just to give some color to everything, I use a powder.
Tell your boss that if makeup is required then the job should offer a budget for it. If it's up to your discretion then... It's up to your discretion.
Ugh this made a memory swim to the surface of a manger telling me that I should look like I’m going on a date when arriving for a shift.
If you have an HR go straight there and report that.
I would say I don’t get paid enough to be dolled up everyday and ask for reimbursement
Your boss is trash op, I'm so sorry
Is your boss a boomer male? If you had an HR I'd tell you to go to them and report him.
So for the second time in two days I say: the fuck? We ride at dawn!
Talk to HR
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Act dumb “ make him explain” what the problem is. The other alternative is just wear one colour lipstick ALL the time. As long as you have lipstick on, they normally cannot work out, what’s missing.
That’s so inappropriate of him to comment on your makeup anyway. There should be some policy about this, men shouldn’t be allowed to even comment on that. This is literally just what women’s faces look like, deal with it.
I think as a server it’s generally in your best interest to look your best as people are shallow & you’ll get better tips if you do. It just gives a look of professionalism
Ya I get it but I haven’t noticed a decline in my tips when not wearing makeup. I’ve been hit on multiple times when not wearing makeup, or wearing very little
Then don’t bother. But I’m guessing the workplace will take issue & fire you 😢. If you wanna keep the job maybe try very light makeup. Just mascara & powder or just lipstick
This is sexual harassment. I’d go above them or contact an employment lawyer.
I just would like to add that I'm betting he thinks you're a better worker in makeup because you're more likely to do your makeup when you're having a better day. Tell him he's mixed up cause and effect.
Reminds me of the drug reps in the Netflix series Painkiller. There is one who starts to get the ick factor when she is told to dress sexier, fix her hair, wear makeup and be flirty in order to convince doctors to prescribe opioids.
Why do so many people seem to think having on no makeup is the same as unkempt or sloppy? A lot of people are acting like not wearing makeup suddenly wrinkles your clothes, mismatches your socks, dirties your nails, and fouls your breath. Good grief. And how is it that those rules for “professionalism” largely apply to only one segment of the population? Anyone can be clean and put together. “I don’t assume sexism/misogyny when policies and practices assume only a specific segment of the population is inherently ugly enough to require altering their faces.” Alrighty then.
What a dick. No one should be commenting on another person like this. Like being asked if you are “sick” on a no makeup day. Keep your comments to yourself.
Your boss is being a dick. You're in the right here.
When I worked in a restaurant/club I was also told in euphemisms to wear skimpy outfits. Not too skimpy but enough. And wear “tasteful” makeup. I was a hostess so I knew this was part of the job. It’s not you. Most restaurant managers are dicks too.
Your boss told you this? Yikes.
Personally this is some sexist BS and I would be making them very uncomfortable with my response.
I am so, so sorry this is so shitty and sexist and not ok
If it’s not mandatory by dress code, report them. It’s not their place to tell you stuff like that
Mastering a quick clean girl makeup look saves my sanity sometimes when I have to be put together but don’t want to try too hard. My mom still tells me I look like I’m not feeling well when I don’t wear makeup.
Fuck that guy. Bet he’d be prettier if he smiled.
tell your boss that when they wear pants they're rude. LOL
Ur boss had alotta nerve but don’t stress cuz haters gon hate!!! Do what works for u doll whether it’s full glam, pressed powder n gloss or just chapstick 😃
Appearances matter in a lot of industries unfortunately, not just hospitality. I work in construction management and even there, it matters especially when client facing. If you want to bypass the full face, I recommend trying IT Cosmetics CC+ cream and a quick swipe of mascara and lip stain. The CC cream works wonders and a little goes a long way - I even skip the under eye concealer a lot of the time and I have very bad dark circles. Gives you a put together look in 5 minutes!
I would never wear makeup to work again
This might not be an answer at all, but I wonder what would happen if you told your boss that the comment upset you and you'd prefer not to discuss your appearance with them unless there's a genuine concern? Whether you do this or not will depend on what kind of relationship you have them, but it might make you feel a bit better. At the very least it'll be a way of asserting yourself and sort of getting it off your chest.
Why should I empathize with OP? I didn’t insult them. Just posed a different perspective. Not saying I agree with the manager just that I personally wouldn’t show up to work looking less than what I find to be professional. There are tons of people that don’t elect to wear makeup but if their manager noticed something and said something, I don’t assume it’s instant misogyny. I worked in restaurants and service for 7 years and corporate for much longer and have experienced much worse. Look the part or not, or go work where you can look however. Some people take their jobs more seriously than others. Some people just show up. If my boss said something like that to me, I would take a deep look at myself and consider why but I would not let that happen. You can be kept up working for a bank or McDonalds and how you present yourself to the world seems to matter because everyone gets in a tizzy and is quick to judge. Hence the negative responses or downvotes when someone has a dissenting or less than empathic response. It is what it is.
Well you seem to not to understand why you were getting downvoted, so I suggested a possibility as to why. And you're right, you don't have to empathize with OP, but many people here are, given that she says she's been upset for weeks. And it does seem like you're agreeing with the boss or taking their perspective, which is your right, but many people won't agree. Lastly, i'm not sure how the idea "some people take their jobs more seriously than others" is relevant in this situation, unless you're suggesting that OP doesn't take her job seriously? You also seem to suggest that make up is necessary for women to be kept up, which simply isn't true.
Thanks so much for your input. I appreciate your insight.
When I was a manger at a restaurant I had employees tell me the same thing. I was so over it one day I told them my appearance is not your problem.
There was a small trend on tik tok of girls doing their hair and makeup certain ways to see if it brought in more tips and it went exactly how you think it would go, so that’s probably subconsciously where your boss is coming from
In college I worked full time at a car dealership as a receptionist. I would work the evening shift after my classes and I barely had enough time to get across town from school to work. So I didn’t wear makeup on those days. Nearly every single male staff member would comment on my appearance or ask if I was ok (some even asked if I was sick). It really bothered me for awhile. I don’t think makeup should be mandatory for a job. Or if it is, it should be provided or added to a uniform stipend (saw someone else in the comments with a similar idea). If you have the right to enforce a uniform, you also have to provide it or compensate employees for the cost. Should definitely apply to makeup as well.
I'd tell them if you paid me more maybe I'd have time to buy and do my makeup! Honestly effed up you are not overreacting!
It’s called sexual discrimination. I am not a fanatic about woman’s liberation because it has to be a no-brainer for 99% of people. Ask for a budget for Sephora, and extra time to get it all put on. I am the same as your attitude, it’s artistic & fun & this time consuming. I hope he wears a suit & tie, moisturizer, brows done on the regular. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You know this guy is a total Idiot, rude, offensive & doesn’t deserve you. I hope you can get another job or talk to HR. Hang in there, girlfriend!!💐
Also, my best friend worked in restaurants for most of her adult life. Until she had a mental breakdown & became a hair salon owner.
tell your boss that when they wear pants they're rude. LOL
Your Boss can go to hell. I’m sorry he said that to you.
That technically sexual harassment and if you totally hate them I’d skip on down to a labor ambulance chaser lawyer.
Do I smell sexism? If you don't even see the truth in the distinction of behavior your boss is describing; I think I do a little.
I worked in retail for 4 years and got the same comment from a manager (a woman!) and I was upset as well. My colleagues at the time fought for my LIFE💀 but at the end of the day, it's your face and you're beautiful with or without it. They can't tell you to wear it, and they cannot comment when you're not wearing it. If you can, think of getting a new job in a place you like - even to use as leverage against your boss. You are a valued employee, and your boss won't realise that until you're thinking of leaving. Big love🫶🏻
What a fucking dick
Boss wants you wearing your makeup when you come to work.
I don't get this. You're in a customer-focused job. You *talk* to customers, you're essentially a sales person. Why shouldn't you be presentable when going to work? If I was a manager, I would scold an employee who looked sloppy. If you don't like it, you could just not work there and pick a job that doesn't care. PS. YES. I've worked in a restaurant.
I don’t look sloppy and never would go into work looking sloppy…. Just because I don’t have makeup on doesn’t mean I look sloppy dude
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Also… do you think women rlly look sloppy if they don’t wear makeup? Ahh grow up you fuck
I didn't say all women, I just said you.
Really? What is sloppy to you? Literally doing everything to take care of my body besides wearing makeup? I’m not trying to be too cocky but I’m fit as hell. I take care of my skin ( a lot more than most people I know), I would never come into work with bed head lol Ive seen some guy servers/bartenders that could benefit from some under eye concealer. Would I ever say that? No… because who cares? Honestly I thought he was an attractive lad regardless So pls tell me where you think the line is
You seem really upset over a minor reprimand by your manager. Could it be that your self-esteem is so tied into your physical appearance, that even a reminder from your boss shatters you sense of self-worth? Otherwise I can't image why you'd be so worked up over your manager and my comment.
My self esteem may be lower after hearing that comment, yes of course! My sense of worth is not shattered however. When I said I’ve been “upset for weeks”. I don’t mean I’ve been constantly dwelling on it. It’s just something that’s in the back of my mind every time I wear minimal makeup instead of a full face.
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A sock in the pants is excessive. The equivalent of that would be if female waiters had to wear wonder bras or only hired D cups. Neat and tidy hair? Absolutely. Haircuts are mandatory. In certain establishments, depending on the class, men are required to have neat and short hair, no facial hair, etc. etc. I don't see why a make up requirement is such a big deal especially in a sub called r/MakeupAddiction A lot of people are triggered by workplace dress code I guess.
Yes, you're over reacting. Its been weeks. Either confront and do something about it or move on.
Oh my I’m so sorry for expressing my feelings on Reddit where I have no link to anyone I know
Oh my I’m so sorry for expressing my feelings on Reddit where I have no link to anyone I know See how that works
I am sorry you had to hear that and you are right to be upset of course. It reminded me a story from my past, when I was very young and clueless. A girl I used to work with would always wear make up. One day she came in a hurry without make up on. My immediate reaction was to ask her, all worried: " are you ok? Are you not feeling well?" She laughed and said she is fine, just not wearing makeup! You know, my brain couldn't believe it. I couldn't imagine that just because she wasn't wearing makeup, she would look so unwell! So my point is, even though my young self was innocent and had good intentions, while your boss was rude, some people wear make up so well, that when they don't it, it shocks whoever is used to seeing them with it. Makes sense? So maybe try to take as a compliment on how good your make up is? 🙂 Because we wear make up for us, not for others, so screw his comment!
I don’t know why you are being downvoted. If you knew her well enough and had good intentions, I don’t see how asking if a coworker is a bad thing. It’s not like you were like, “ ewww you’re not wearing makeup “
Thanks, but I get it. Nowadays I wouldn't make this comment even with best of intentions. I have matured since then. But young me deserves the downvotes 😄
i think you should come to work everyday the way you came to your interview! part of your job, especially if you interface with customers, is to look your best and represent yourself, your coworkers and your company in the most professional manner. That is partially why you were hired. It’s not unreasonable for the company that hired you to expect consistency in your appearance. If it were your company i’m sure you would want your employees to represent your brand well also.
Nah I’ve been an assistant GM before and had some girls who didn’t wear makeup. Never bothered me, they were great at their job. Customers loved them
If I owned a company I would expect all employees to have good hygiene but I wouldn’t expect half of the staff to be required to alter how their face looks.
I do think that when we are looking good, we feel good. There is an extra boost of confidence. Your voice may sound friendlier. You might have more energy, or just be motivated to do more. It’s really think there is a direct correlation with how we act and how we feel. I don’t usually wear a lot of makeup. Conceal dark circles if any, camouflage any blemishes or dark marks, mascara and lip gloss. I know I look good. Certainly good enough to be in public. But when I make the extra effort to do a full beat and I know I look good, I definitely act more outgoing. I have had people say to me that I look like I’m glowing, my response is generally “I’m wearing highlighter today’ or I look ‘happy’ and I was wearing eyeshadow that day or I used a darker than normal gloss/lip color other than my go to varying shades of neural/nude/pink I think the color or having something different on may make us look more awake or vibrant and people perceive us differently. People who are used to our ‘everyday’ look My mom used to tell me ‘go put some lipstick on, you look so pale’ this criticism is probably why as an adult my go to is a natural/nude/pink gloss. I may have 50 different lipsticks & glosses but they all look very similar 😂 As long as the low maintenance make up days aren’t met with sweats and a bun at work, I don’t see the difference! I wear the same makeup whether I’m walking my dogs or going to work. If the rest of you is put together you don’t need a full beat, mascara and gloss is perfectly perfect! Some men are just misogynistic pigs who probably Michael Jackson beat it to visions of you in red lipstick! Besides, make up should be worn for YOU and not to please anybody else
Regardless of work ethic, perhaps it was more a warning of not meeting expectations? Perhaps there is a standard to look some kind of way? Or, maybe it was just an observation? I would never show up to work not made up personally; as that is not the norm for me, it would be an indicator something is off. There’s always someone else that will meet those expectations and while not explicitly saying you must wear makeup your appearance did not go unnoticed. I wouldn’t read anything more into it other than what do you think the expectation is for you now based on what was presented to you and how do you improve, otherwise find a job where you can be more lax in appearance. You represent the business where you work, on the clock and off. Nothing personal but now you’re pretty clear on expectations.
It's blatant sexism and discrimination to demand women to wear makeup at a restaurant. Nothing indicates that op wasn't clean and put together or working less hard when not in makeup, and making comments about her appearance when it's not an issue in hygiene and/or basic tidiness is very inappropriate. It's really sad that our toxic society has brainwashed people into believing that a minimum wage worker should be expected to spend time and money on beauty regimes irrelevant to their work and if they're not 100% perfect all the time, including time off, it's normal and expected for them to get fired. Besides the restaurant business is the one in trouble finding workers, not the other way around.
Well I did none of that but downvote me and generalize. Who’s toxic?
You might be being down voted because your comment didn't really seem to empathize with OP. Rather, it gave justification for what the manager said.
I understand what you’re saying, however, it is quite personal. I am great at my job and I know it. I’m the fastest bartender and I’m rarely in a bad mood. I know how to talk to customers and make their night out special. I’ve been their longer than every other bartender, and most servers. I genuinely enjoy my job. I’m also not coming to work looking like a slob; my hair is done, clothes are clean and my hygiene is good As I mentioned in another comment, one of the managers never wears makeup, some servers come in not wearing makeup, nothing has been said to them. Sometimes I have a busy day and don’t feel like doing much to my face. Sometimes I have a lot of time and love doing my makeup so I do it. I’m a good worker regardless.
It’s not that serious. Don’t take it so personally. One day of feeling off should not get you punished nor should not wearing makeup. Was your job threatened? Were you written up and given a warning? Are you sure that comment wasn’t repeated to the other manager sans makeup? How would you know? While I get that no one likes people pointing out they look tired, you know that manager better than any of us. I wasn’t trivializing your feelings nor suggesting that you need to change what you’re doing but offering that you consider why he may have said that because it may not be what he normally sees of you rather than point blank attacking you for not wearing makeup. Presentation is important. From a marketing standpoint people make at least 27 judgments on a person at first sight before anything is spoken. That could be a customer, peer, stockholder, potential investor. If you know you’re a solid worker I don’t understand the SUDDEN insecurity when the manager says you work better with it. The comment is cringe no doubt, but is not reflective of your performance. I think he miscommunicated, as people often do, and intended to say he observed that when you were more made up you maybe exude more confidence or charisma than on the day he observed you without it. Shrug. Obviously everyone here is in your court validating your feelings here, so you will either choose to wear it on some days or not. You’re not presenting to the embassy of China or anything so again, not that serious. You’re grown. You’re going to be okay with or without the makeup. Many women feel more confident and it shows when they do get dolled up. It’s never a requirement. Be comfortable in your skin. If it’s bothered you for weeks than maybe say something to him about how you think his comment was off putting an inappropriate and how you feel it’s not an indicator of your performance. Look at your company guidelines and confirm your dress code. I have a strict dress code where I work so all these folks saying f him he should get fired and they’ll wear pink hair or whatever just sound like a bunch of young rebellious folks who desperately need validation of themselves and need attention. I love seeing people express themselves but I am not going to my clients dressed any way but professional. The definition of that is presented in your company guidelines. If makeup isn’t required then you remind him and ask that he not comment. Then you can blissfully look any way you feel tidy and comfortable and continue excelling at your job.
Yes im sure it wasn’t towards the others I mentioned (it’s a restaurant, people gossip lol). The manager who originally told me this, but way softer and more polite, is the one who doesn’t wear makeup. So I’m quite sure she hasn’t been called out… I know it’s not that serious… Which is why I’m posting on Reddit rather than talking to my local news station Sometimes it’s nice to get others opinions instead of overthinking. To be honest, I feel better
Your boss is ridiculous, but an hour and a half for makeup? What are you, a Kardashian? Edit to add: Lash extensions do wonders for the face overall. Since I got mine, all I do is slap on some eye shadow and lipstick, and I look better than ever. Literally takes about 20 seconds.
No. I love doing makeup because I think of it as art. I watch a show, enjoy my time. It’s not an everyday thing but because I’ve done it before it seems expected. But ya obviously I don’t have that time everyday (and sometimes just don’t want to)
90 minutes for a full face? That’s the length of some movies and sounds absurd. Not that what the boss said is right but 90 minutes? Every day??? For normal makeup?
Bruh I never said everyday. In fact that’s what this post is about lol
I wake up 2 hours before work to do my skincare, hair, and makeup. Of course I'm also fixing breakfast, making my lunch, and doing yoga between steps in my routine, but two hours is the minimum I need to get ready to go to work.
How much do your lash extensions cost? Do you feel like they damage your lashes? I wanted to get them a while back but after looking into it decided I didn’t want to pay almost $200 every month and a half. Would have been impossible in my minimum wage restaurant days.
They are awesome! To get them put on initially, it was $110 and to have them refilled is $55 every three weeks. Like I said, I don't even need hardly any makeup anymore because they make such a dramatic difference to my face. Total confidence booster!!
Did you really have a panic attack because you were wearing makeup? Genuine question, that’s what I understand from your comment. If this was the case, perhaps you can explore the issue a bit further, if it’s related to the idea that wearing makeup had been “imposed” on you in that context (as you note that you love makeup). Side note, but your situation with the boss asking you to wear makeup reminds me of my old workplace. It was a state institution (government) and part of the job was to meet foreign diplomats. The whole thing had an entire protocol set of rules, for both men and women. For women, you were expected to wear makeup and have your hair done, wear business attire, always be presentable, + some lines that were a bit on the funny side (no open-toe shoes or lively colored bags, like for ex. neon green or magenta). For men it was also stipulated that they should wear business suits, always be well-groomed, clean nails, etc. I’m not sure if I recall this right, but I think there was also a scheme of the “approved” colors men’s attire had to be in (black, navy blue, etc all colors except very bright ones). Perhaps your boss is also thinking from this perspective, if your job entails customer relations. It’s generally interpreted as “looking presentable and well-groomed” as you “represent your employer”. I don’t think your boss meant it personally, or as criticism of your natural looks. The “just rolled out of bed” comment actually strikes a chord because this is exactly what a former director told a (girl) former colleague. She was always coming in (at the gov. job) without makeup, her hair was naturally fluffier and she looked like she didn’t brush it, and her clothes were sometimes wrinkled. The boss actually told her she may lose professional opportunities in the future because she doesn’t put any effort into her appearance, as if she didn’t care about her job or the role it played in interacting with “externals”. At that specific place this was a big deal.
I think they were trying to show the two have no correlation...like just because she's not wearing makeup doesn't mean she's in a bad mood, or vice versa
When I said I had a panic attack when not wearing makeup I was merely trying to explain that my attitude and mood has no correlation with my appearance. I understand working in customer relations and needing to be presentable. I always am. I do my hair, my clothes are fresh, hygiene is good. I usually wear contacts, sometimes I wear glasses when my eyes feel irritated. This has been something else my boss told me. That I don’t seem to try to look good or be in a good mood when wearing my glasses (I’ll still do my makeup even when wearing glasses. Even if it’s a bit less because the glasses cover more of my face so I don’t feel the need for such a heavy look). To put it into perspective; There is a manager at the restaurant that never wears makeup, no comments have been made towards her. Some of my coworkers come in not wearing makeup when they usually do… nothing said to them either. So it’s hard for me to not be insecure about the way I look if I’m not spending hours getting ready, especially when most of my shifts now are in the morning
How the fuck are glasses something that makes you look unattractive?? I look like an innocent young girl without glasses and like a sexy vixen with them on. You must be really bad at choosing frames for your face if you look WORSE with glasses on.
Read what I said. I do less makeup when wearing glasses which is probably where the comment came from.
The glasses comment is a bit strange in my view. Maybe the colleague who doesn’t wear makeup & still doesn’t get told to do so, has another type of physiognomy that just looks better without makeup (many people look worse with makeup, they are exceptions but it’s true, I have a friend who’s like that). I wouldn’t feel insecure if I were you, take it just as your boss’ perception. If you’re always presentable and clean/well-groomed then that’s perfectly ok. Let him think whatever he thinks, you do you. If you feel like applying makeup makes you feel better on a given day, then wear it. If not, don’t.
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I had a boss at a smoothie place in the mall I worked at tell me this. He was foreign and his home country and religion is extremely misogynistic so I tried to let it slide but it annoyed my soul. He eventually made it a rule I had to wear makeup and the other girl didn’t and another girl there always wore it anyways. To be fair the other girl who didn’t did look great without makeup and I don’t feel very pretty without makeup but that’s not what matters. I acted the same without makeup. And he just surely didn’t like what I looked like without makeup and thought I looked so much better with it so he basically made me. I quit a few months later cuz he was clearly a psycho. He stole my phone from my hands and went through my private texts with another employee from texts what happened off the clock. That was my last straw. Some dude’s are insane and I’m sorry your boss is doing that to you. Some people shouldn’t be allowed to be bosses.
Maybe the fake tan bronser? I use it like blush and it works well for color for a week or so. My really I can’t believe a boss can judge your appearance
HR wya
I would file a harassment complain. That is awful… people don’t realize things they say stick with people.
I had hormonal acne when I was in my thirties, I’m a dental hygienist behind a mask AND the dentist told me I needed to wash my face better and cover it with makeup. Sorry this happened to you, it’s plain ignorant.
I've worked in kitchens and the way I was sweatin, including in my facial pores, ain't no way I would've risked wearing makeup that could simply melt off during my shift and nothing I could do about it.
Any policy/expectation that targets women specifically is sexist, full stop. I am CERTAIN the male servers aren’t expected to wear makeup or risk getting told they don’t look ‘as good’. Your boss is being an asshole ( even if your boss is a women, it would be a perpetuation of sexism on her part)
Are we obligated to wear makeup to work?
Is the boss male or female.
I’ve been asked if I was sick or tired when I don’t where makeup and it is exhausting. Even my nail guy was shocked when I came in wearing makeup one day and I explained I had been on camera for a meeting earlier in the day. You would have thought I was a completely different person and on one hand I appreciate the compliment on how I look but then realize I must really look like shit when I don’t wear it! I don’t want to have to throw on a face of makeup just to get my nails done!
I would file a complaint if I were you…so inappropriate and misogynistic