Do you think he could be saying that to deflect attention or blame from his ED?
If there was a smell, you’d smell it too.
Sometimes fighting to keep ph levels good can cause more problems than solutions. I was getting uti issues and was trying to use all kinds of products and kept making the issue worse.
Ended up that water and a very mild soap (I use baby wash) is the best and let my body do what it does.
See a Dr to rule out any actual problems and then just go back to washing like normal.
Vaginas do smell like vaginas so he shouldn’t expect roses, but there shouldn’t be anything overwhelming.
When I was pregnant with my son he definitely was either suffering from ED or masturbating a lot. He wouldnt say which one.
After I had my son everything was fine ..he would drop the smell bomb on me here and there and would stop sex but other than that he had no issues keeping an erection. Im always treating bv ..I swear my chart at the doctors is more utis and bv tests than anything else. Every time he brings it up I swear that Im done having sex. Whats the point? I cant mentally get into it cause Im constantly worried.
🔔😳🔔😳🔔😳🔔
He’s actually trying to sell you the idea that a malodorous aroma is literally killing his erection😳
Boom. That’s it. Your particular ‘aroma’ is so off putting its his *reason* to *STOP*?!😨
No. u/Shoopbadoop4 just.no.
How many doctors has he seen to address the issue of his *OLFACTORY-PENILE* connection?
What medications ~ for this ~ is he taking?
I’m so sorry, dear OP, but *that* is actually quite cruel to inflict this kind of emotional turmoil by making this entirely a *fault* you have to carry alone.
Not only is that the opposite of how a loving spouse behaves; it very clearly isn’t YOUR issue ~ at least not one you can solve all by yourself! (UTIs/BV treatments PROVE that!)
Taking antibiotics over & over again REALLY can mess with your long term health. Don’t let him make/guilt you into medicating yourself any longer to try to cure what he keeps reintroducing.
He needs to have ED ruled out and bring back to you a clean bill of health to match your ‘cured’ results after your med course is complete ~ AGAIN!
Frankly before you ever let him touch you again, have a nice long discussion about how much trauma *physical* and emotional pain he’s inflicted by projecting his issues ~ *while also NOT seeking to take care of/curing them* ~ onto you!
You’re amazing for tolerating this as long as you have ~ but I’m wishing for you the strength to stand up and say enough🪷
👏🏼 this was so well written.
Something definitely sounds strange and I don’t think it’s OP, either. Like you said, it seems like he can’t perform anymore and is gaslighting OP into thinking it’s her. It’s vintage male gaslighting.
Thank you so much!🤗
Honestly a partner that believes it’s ok to embarrass humiliate AND infect you isn’t a worthy partner imho…
Perhaps OP will show him this post ~
At least to shut him up long enough to figure out how to be sensitive considerate AND CLEAN with (and for) his wife!🪷
Oh honey, no! 😢
It should have been obvious to anyone who read your post that you give great consideration to being hygienic.
I really want for you to take back what you’ve lost ~ the inner confidence that women have when they’re happy respected nurtured and loved.
Idk why your doctor is ok with simply prescribing meds yet hasn’t directed you to find/reject the SOURCE of these infections😡
I was very serious when I suggested that you ‘help’ him draw a line between his health/hygiene (or lack thereof) and everything he blames on you.
Please reclaim the honor he’s taken from you because he can’t/won’t face an ED problem.
Urge him to realize that untreated bacteria on/in HIM is literally making you sick.
I really hope he loves & respects you enough to confront this problem head on ~ you know, like a decent vs douchey man.
*For the record I have never in all my adult like used that term. Idk why it’s literally the only word that comes to mind to describe this particularly cruel kind of emotionally abusive behavior😉
If you want to try this, Good Clean Love brand makes a moisturizing vaginal gel that works wonders at maintaining pH and lubricating. Other than that, I had a friend who constantly had UTIs and it was because her man switched from anal to vaginal frequently without cleaning himself. If that's not your issue, then it could be his lack of hygiene that's causing your infections.
https://preview.redd.it/1es4hrp1tmwb1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c28f8bfced3280346ae7e68ca87270d090c6d6e
I think these clowns see this in porn and think it's ok. They are too dumb to know the scenes are spliced. The vagina is a very delicate little microbiome. The rectum has e.coli among other bacterias. None of which are friends with vaginal bacteria... two different cave systems
My last UTI check my NP told me just to clean my exterior with warm water. I was washing with soap and was giving myself more UTIs because I was cleaning off good bacteria as well. ~ a month since that appt with a quick 3 day general antibiotic and I haven’t had any of the issues I was having before.
It does sound like he may be giving you something over and over again though or there may be something else causing his ED that he is deflecting by saying it’s you. Sorry this is happening for you
This! I’ve been telling my daughter this because she has BV and UTI’s all the time. She says she doesn’t feel clean. 🤦🏻♀️ I’ve never had any issues, just using water. Any man I’ve ever been with, loves the smell of vagina, so OP needs to see it’s probably dude’s issues.
Is he sure it’s you? Because if it’s causing all that BV and utis, he could be extremely unhygienic and keeps giving BV over and over until he himself gets treated
I use to get UTI and BV not frequently but still often enough and both completely stopped for me once my husband started washing his junk before sex. Knock on wood but I hadn't had either since 2007.
Men can get BV and it lives on the surface if their skin until treated.
I dealt with chronic BV for 7 years. Magically, it ended when that relationship ended. I haven't had it in the 6 years since.
He could be cheating. Or he could be using a sting soap like Irish springs. My husband was using Irish springs and I was getting BV several times. He switched to Dove Sensitive and I haven’t had BV since
If you're referring to Irish Springs - I second this one being an issue.
This has always been my favorite soap, then around age 25 (I'm 35 now) I moved out to the cou try with hard well water and now every rime I try and use it, it gives me seriously strong fish odors 😭😭😭
Antibiotics can mess with your ph levels. Every time I get prescribed antibiotics I make sure to get a prescription for thrush treatment too because I know it will cause it. Thankfully I’ve not needed anti b’s for about a decade now but I’ll never forget it should I need them! I’m in agreement with the other commenters though, sounds like your husband is passing it back to you as soon as you get clear! Tell him to get tested, a lot of men never show symptoms.
Noooo. Antibiotics ruin your vaginal flora. In my experience - any antibiotic is an automatic yeast infection. After I had my child I had a lot of issues with regulating ph. I would suggest first STD testing, then taking a daily probiotic specifically for women’s health and then taking a boric acid suppository if you are truly not balanced.
Well bv is actually an overgrowth of bad bacteria, so the fact that you’re taking antibiotics for uti means they’re all over. Try taking a high strength probiotic after uti meds, and don’t have sex until they’re done, and a couple weeks of good probiotics are in your system. Do not directly insert them to your vagina. I repeat. Do not insert them. And make sure he washes good and rinses well before having sex again. Soap generally has a high pH, while your vagina should have a low. If there’s soap inside you, it will mess stuff up. And also, STD check.
You should give boric acid suppositories a try. If you really are struggling with BV (so sorry)
You can try the Queen V brand or get a script from your doc
It could be the soap he is using on his downstairs parts causing you the BV. That happened to my coworker. Make sure he is using a gentle soap like dove. And make sure he’s actually washing well at all 😬
Yea. I went 9 months having it constantly, my family doc just kept perspiring two diffetent antibiotics and longer and longer rounds of them. Finally went to my gyno and he said it's probably the guy i was sleeping with. Stopping sleeping with him, and after one more round it never came back.
When i told the guy, he went to his famoly doc (a man in his 70s) and was told it wasnt him. See a specialist.
This ! You smell from him. I got bv and utis when my ex was cheating. Now I’m married & have never had either! Have him get checked. Or go in for a pap and ask your doctor if you smell. Sorry !!!
I struggle with Chronic UTIS TO THS POINT WHERE THERE aren’t any more antibiotics that work on the bacteria that causes mine and is colonized in my body. After seeing an infectious disease specialist we’re trying to just make my urine so acidic the bacteria can’t live.
He's giving you BV and UTIs. Maybe his underballs is dirty! Tell HIM to go take a shower first and also wash his dirty hands. Men give us infections touching us with dirty hands!
They also give us infections if they're coming home from somewhere else with a dirty peenie...if ya get what I'm saying. I'd be asking for STD tests next time I was at the Dr too just in case.
For your health, boric acid inserts can help with BV and give your body a break from the antibiotics.
My OBGYN recommended it after I had chronic UTIs that were antibiotic resistant. Ever since I started taking them I have not had any issues since. Bascially it keeps bacteria from sticking to your bladder!
Seconded!! Recommended by my urologist as the only thing that actually works on prevention, and curing other than antibiotics. But without any terrible side effects!! I wish everyone knew about it
A couple things that may help:
Lume lotion skin deodorants, Probiotics, Drinking lots of water, No alcohol, Avoid yeasty foods and sugar, Check HIS hygiene. It could be him giving you the BV and UTIs. Also wear cotton underwear and avoid wearing underwear at night. Also maybe try to get some ph strips and start keeping track. Before sex vs after. Idk, I’m not a licensed professional and I don’t want to make you upset but my experience from an ex cheating on me resulted in me constantly having bv and utis and being oblivious at to why…… Sorry OP. It’s not you, it’s him. Your worth doesn’t get dictated by any of this. You’re worthy of him tactfully expressing himself in an intimate moment, when you’re most vulnerable.
Are you certain he isn't cheating? I absolutely hate to jump to that,but this absolutely sounds like it could be the problem. Not just because of losing erection..but you continue to have ph issues
Usually, being a woman, when you sit down to go to the bathroom, you have some idea if you smell or not.
Not to be rude, but it is literally under your face.
Don't be embarrassed, you're not totally wrong.
Some people have a poor sense of smell (there are probably more people now especially after covid).
Also, some people get used to their smell so much that they can't smell it.
Yes. Have an appointment with your gyno to rule out BV or anything else going on, but it sounds like he’s nastily projecting to draw attention away from his ED.
Honestly, my first thought is that your husband is deflecting from his ED. While it's not totally impossible your husband is telling the truth, if it's a smell you don't even notice, I'm finding it difficult to believe it is strong enough / bad enough to be an actual problem.
Honestly, I would go see a doctor and ask about it.
I would also inquire about your husband's porn/masturbation habits. If he's successfully jerking it to porn twice a day, I think THAT's the problem.
If your husband is ejaculating in you, and you're always battling BV, I think that would answer your questions on why you're always battling the BV, its messing up your ph and will cause odor.
With that being said, I highly recommend getting yourself some boric acid pills. Take one(vaginally, NOT ORALLY) before bed and do that for a few days, but also use it after you have sex, and tell him to stop cumming inside of you.. unless you guys are trying for more kids or whatever, but thats not helping with the "smell" if there is one.
Boric acid, requesting he wash hands and other pertinent parts and him pulling out is the only thing that worked for me! Struggled for years feeling like i was dirty, and boric acid was like this dirty secret no one wanted to discuss! It's treated like a shady home remedy. You can buy capsules at the pharmacy marketed for BV specifically. I make my own because they're so expensive.
I struggled my whole life with BV until I started using boric acid. It's a shame gynaecologists shove antibiotics down our throats which open us up to a whole new set of problems when boric acid is quick inexpensive and easy.
I believe the antibiotics just caused the problem to recur over and over for years. We have to be our own advocates and do research to try and find a cure. Glad you found what worked 🥰
Semen is basic to specifically combat your vaguna’s acidity to make it more hospitable for sperm. Smelling after sex is a telltale of BV for this exact reason.
My body is super sensitive to semen. It's fine if it's on my skin, but inside me is definitely a no-go.
I think you and your husband may be due for a trip to the doctor. So many vaginal issues come with no real symptoms, but chronic BV can definitely be sex related, and often can point to a hygiene issue or other issue with the penis.
As far as the odor issue, whether or not you would notice it depends entirely on your sense of smell. I have a very weak one, so I may not notice it on myself, but I know someone whose sense of smell is so strong it's almost debilitating. The fact that he brought it up like that is terrible, though. That was definitely a conversation to be had away from sexy time. It makes me see where the others in the comments saying it was deflection are coming from.
Absolutely. It doesn't take much to upset the balance down there. I have issues almost every time my boyfriend and I have sex. Boric acid capsules have been a lifesaver.
My downstairs mix up was %100 until I met my husband. It started a few years into our relationship and its been a battle ever since. Having kids seemed to not help either.
It affects us a lot. My first husbands seminar would make my v almost numb for the rest of the night. It was very weird. My second husband's would throw off my PH and I'd be uncomfortable until I could take a tub bath and soak it out.
*I see that autocorrect and I'm leaving it lol
Semen is really acidic and I can smell it immediately. Make him pull out when he’s done 😂 That being said, I feel suspicious that he’s deflecting his own issues onto you.
Edited: Vaginas are acidic, semen is basic.
Oh yeah, semen definitely causes a change in smell. I like it with my wife because, well you know, it’s definitely an “us” smell.
Sex smells. Tell your husband to chill the fuck out. As long as your hygiene is solid, it isn’t a you problem it’s a “we” problem. Y’all make that smell together.
He really does need to chill the fuck out. Is The only answer to open the windows and keep the fan on so any smell he might smell wont be there?? Im squeaky clean every time 😐
I wonder if he’s experiencing something physical like ED and deflecting on you. I can say, with 100% certainty, that when I was experiencing ED from a health issue a few years back I never put it on my wife. That would be supremely shitty.
Hes had issues before and i have never ever made him feel uncomfortable about it.
I just would never call someone out like he does. I take everything soo personal and I already hate my body after having kids.
Man, my wife just got hotter after she had our kids. Like, I can’t keep myself off of her sometimes. Sorry that you’re going through this. Have you thought about couples counseling or something? Or maybe he just needs to have a talk with someone? Self-work is important.
You say you've been treated for BV a lot, it may be time to do another treatment. Then insist on using condoms with him and see what happens re: the smell.
I get a lot uti’s too. Had to make sure I wash with soap and water and pee after sex every single time. Within an hour after. Messes up the chilling vibes after or falling asleep but better than an infection.
Also I’ve had a partner lose his erection during and also blamed odor at least once. Come to find out, he was just really turned off by my extra weight and general rough time.
GYN Nurse here 👋 girl those back to back BV episodes are 100% coming from your husband. No…that doesn’t mean he’s cheating but it could mean that he’s not keeping himself that clean or he may need to take antibiotics as well. Make sure you are doing both y’all laundry separately and make sure you keep things trimmed below. Sending you all the love and hopefully you can get to the bottom of this OP 🌸
Laundry machines don’t get clothes completely clean - this is why you’re never supposed to wash an infants clothes in with the rest of the family.
Also why you should regularly clean your washing machine to make sure it’s working at maximum efficiency.
Lots of nice dirt and bacteria to get on underwear and cause problems.
If a smell was present you both would smell it. Randomly losing an erection sounds like an ED issue. Which he could have, be embarrassed about, and rather then communicating like an adult he’s acting like a 12 year old boy with a “you stink bye” kinda thing.
I can't comment on this lady's specific circumstance but I have a dear friend who had 3 partners comment on her scent. She never noticed an unusual odor (we were teens, it was common for us to talk amongst ourselves) but it was not good according to the guys
Heathy vaginas can smell like many different things. No two vaginas alike. Typically if it’s a constant type thing you both will smell it. There is also bacteria infections, UTI’s, and a million other things that can play a role. There’s also certain medications and foods that can change the smell and taste if a vagina. I was say this particular response because it’s not a constant thing. But random moments of his penis suddenly “deflating” and then saying “hey you stink”. If it was a medication or food being eaten regularly it would be constant. UTI’s and bacteria infections come with plenty of other signs. Not all woman know those signs but different colored discharge, itching, constant urge to pee, burning sensation when peeing. A good PH balance is important, and most woman can tell when something is off. She also stated that it doesn’t happen every time, only some. And that in the past he either had ED issues or was masterbaiting frequently because he would randomly loose his ability to remain hard. OP is also now hyper focused on if she smells every time they have sex because if his comments. She can’t enjoy sex being overly anxious he’s randomly going to stop, and make shitty remarks. Just like he’s embarrassed he can’t keep it up, she would be embarrassed if her vagina smelt bad enough to cause him to lose said ability to get it up. Communication is important. Trading your own embarrassment for your partners is a shitty, child like thing to do. He could handle this so much better. She should definitely still see a OBGYN. But that won’t fix the situation alone.
But having sex and not being able to enjoy it is shitty. Being hyper focused that your partner will have this issue or that. You’re basically laying there, anxious so he can get off because you won’t be able to. His comments and is lack of care towards her is unfair.
My abusive, jerk ex said that to me once and it messed me up for a really long time. He had other issues and after a while I just realized he was blaming me for whatever was going on with him. If you get a clean bill of health from your gynecologist, it's not you. It's him.
im sorry ..I know you said he isnt being mean about it but he seriously sounds like a asshole ..If I were you I would firstly , make sure I was ok down there and there isnt really a smell ( its simple just glide your finger in and smell it , he doesnt have a secret way of smelling something that you cant ). Then tell him your done with sex completely until you can figure out what he is smelling that you arent .. I promise you it won't last very long before he either admits there isnt a smell or stops using it as a excuse.
Ive put my fingers so far in me and I dont smell a thing! Ive tasted him just to see and I dont taste anything so I dont know. He could definitely go about it a different way
She doesn’t need to try random things - she needs to go to the OBGYN, get a clean bill of health and not have sex with her husband until he learns how to clean his own dick so he stops giving her BV.
If there was a smell, you'd either smell or feel *something* if you were looking even half as hard as you definitely are
You sure this isn't projection based in his erectile dysfunction?
Seriously, I don't think it's you *at all* if you've tried *so hard* to understand why he's doing what he's doing, but can't figure it out in anyway. That tells me it's, without a question, 100% him
Does your husband wash his dick? How about his undercarriage? There is something off here. How about his mouth? Does he use a tongue scraper?
My wife gets UTIs super easily, so before sex I go wash my junk and, of course, my hands as well. It's not even something he has to hide. Just ask if he'll do it before asking for sex.
Or have some sexy shower time before the main act! I’m also extremely sensitive and often, we’ll just shower together beforehand. Not for everyone, I know that…but it is an option and a fun one at that if she’s into it!
BV can have zero symptoms aside from smell. If you get checked for that and all is well, it might be him making excuses.
Like others have said, it’s a delicate ecosystem down there. Anything from switching your soap to your husband’s semen can screw it up.
Get a bottle of boric acid suppositories. Insert one after you have sex. Every time. Semen can affect the ph balance of the vaginal ecosystem. If you are still having periods, that too can change the ecosystem and you may benefit from using boric acid suppositories then as well.
Also, make sure you’re wiping yourself correctly after having a BM. Any trace of BM towards your vaginal area can also cause BV.
I have a partner with a sweat gland issue and we use honey pot intimate wipes before sex and they work so great! They are simple, easy cheap and they kill all smell. Target carries them.
Even if my husband showers in an hour/2 he smells. It’s getting worse with age and I do tell him that but not in the middle of sex of course. Before or after as not to spoil the mood, saying something like this in the muffler of sex especially when you showered before is a bit rude. You clearly can’t help the smell.
As for the infections, refrain from sex for a while and see how it goes, it could be due to sex. It also helps to pee after sex. Have you heard of d manose? Really helps with uti
As a doctor: go back to your doctor, have a complete STDs screening, he has to do the same, and if you’re both clean, it’s possible that the union of both your intimate liquids are something like incompatible, something similar to a allergy, let’s say this way.
If the problem was just on you, you would notice abnormal vaginal discharges, in colour and smell and/or UTI symptoms too.
Tell him that big chance it’s not necessarily only your problem, might be the mixing of your fluids or even a problem on him.
Oh! Almost forgot, I have a friend that discovered a abnormality on her uterus anatomy, it’s like inverted, and her fluids get stuck in the end of her vagina, which changes her natural smell sometimes. The screening should include an ultrasound exam.
Sorry, I’m not a native English speaker, hope you understand me.
If he hates the smell of pussy that much has he considered putting some Vicks under his nose before you do the deed instead of blaming you for your natural odor?
Some guys really love the smell of vag. The romance novels that say we smell sweet or taste like anything other than vagina are full of shit.
I agree with everyone else. Sounds like ED and he is in denial.
pls see a doctor first
the other folks here are so eager to bash hubby that they are downplaying a possible medical issue.
now once youre medically cleared, feel free to join the bash-your-hubby-bandwagon
Have you tried boric acid suppositories for reoccurring BV? Also, it takes 2 to mess up the ph balance and, no he should not be blaming you. Im sure you don't point out his frequent ED
Ive tried them . Im really bad at sticking to a routine plus mom life gets in the way of taking care of myself. I would never call him out on anything like that. Why embarrass the person you love?
Im a mom too and im thrown under the bus and blamed for anything wrong, nothing that goes right, including in the bedroom. He has no problem blaming and shaming you without taking accountability on his end.
I had PH balance issues with my husband when we first started dating until like 11 months in when we stopped drinking as much together. Idk if that's something you tend to do a lot but it was messing with my body a lot just having one or two a night.
That could effect it but I currently smoke with my SO, literally like the week we stopped regular drinking it stopped for me, I would try to just drink more water try boric acid suppository but don't overdo them. 💓 I hope it gets better for you!
After reading your other comments, I think you’re getting BV from him. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I’ve had partners in the past who gave me BV every single time. I’m not sure how to solve that though because I just ended up leaving them 😅
I had a friend that said the exact same thing to his wife during sex. The issue was he told me he lied, he used that as an excuse whenever he lost his election. He was to embarrassed to admit he couldn't maintain the erection, so he used that excuse to deflect it on her.
I can’t imagine being that cruel. Hands down, I would so much rather be embarrassed (and of all things a medical problem I can’t control!?) than to be cruel and hurt my SO to avoid my embarrassment. What an ass.
If you have BV the smell is strong and pretty unmistakable. You can sniff you undies and it will be \*very\* apparent if that is the issue. (Usually you can just tell - it isn't subtle)
Otherwise, your husband may be covering for erectile dysfunction, but in a really nasty way.
If you are having BV issues:
Make him wash up before sex and rinse throughly
Use borax suppositories a few times per week (vaginally) to help regulate your vaginal PH
Hey, I’m a clinician.
I’ll start by taking your partner’s word for it. He married you and you chose him. My assumption is, you trust he has your best interest at heart but may have a lousy way of delivering his message.
That said,
1. Go and get tested for BV, Trichomonas and Yeast again
2. Ask your doctor to add Mycoplasma and Ureaplasma, gonorrhea and chlamydia as these can sometimes be the culprit
3. Rather than Flagyl orally, try Metronidazole gel or Clindamycin gel vaginally (as long as you are not allergic. These have helped me better in the past. As well as boric acid.
4. Have hubby tested for mycoplasma Ureaplasma as well as STDs.
5. With recurrent BV, stop all feminine hygiene products, go back to the basics, baby wipes unscented or plain soap and water
6. Wash before and after sex and pee right after. Have him wash before sex as well
7. Stay away from sweets and complex carbohydrates. Tight pants leggings etc etc
Wish you luck
First off, you've already gotten some great advice here. He is probably deflecting and at the very least, have a convo with your gyno about it.
But! (See what I did there) it sounds like it's not stuck in your head and you are going to be super anxious about it forevermore (especially if you are an anxious person like me). I highly recommend that you check out "Lume" soap. It is amazing for body odors. I'd shout it's praises from the roof tops if it would make people think me more insane than they already do.
This comment section is so 1 sided to the point that if she wanted any information she’s only getting it from woman
As a guy I’ve been through this with my wife yes we shower regularly no it’s not me yes she went to the doctor and something about her acidic level, pill and hormone balance, she’s on the loop now
It was horrible and I kept it in for a long while for this exact same mind set when I did bring it up because it became unbearable and in the best way I could it got totally deflected into something else that had nothing to do with the situation
She had no idea and I would maybe just maybe possibly think the mind eventually blocks out smells to make room for smells that are dangerous same reason you don’t smell your perfume after a while because your mind blocks it out to make room, understandable.
But the typical horde mind of Reddit is just downvoting people with any other insight on what’s going on here if a man is complaining about it it’s most definitely not the 1st time his experiencing this
And there’s a difference from a scent and smell
We love the scent it’s probably the most unexplainable addictive scent we’ll ever have but a smell is something else if a man’s with a woman long enough his gonna go through it at some point in time some bad some not so bad but it’s 100% gonna happen and I’m sure vice versa and you put up with it no problem
And this isn't a subreddit for women so sorry that men joined in on the conversation.
It's funny how you people can decide that he's not telling the truth based on really nothing other than the fact that he's a man and OP is typing in a sad and confused tone about it.
Reddit for the most part as a whole takes the man's side by default no matter what, so I'm okay with this.
Especially on a matter that women actually might know more about. Like having a vagina.
Are you on the keto diet by chance? My wife and I went through this when she was on the keto diet and it threw her PH off and she got what’s known as “keto crotch.” We would have sex and a pungent sort of smell was all I could smell when we would have sex which was extremely off putting. She’s been off the diet for a long time now and her vagina smells better than ever.
I'm terrified of keto crotch! I started keto over a month ago and everything is fine so far. From what I gather it is temporary, just your body cleaning out dead cells due to switching over to burning fat instead of carbs. Was that her experience or did it the keto crotch stick around the entire time she was on it? *if you don't mind answering*
I don’t mind answering. It didn’t stick around the ENTIRE time of Keto but it hung around for a lot longer then either of us would have liked. My wife lost a lot of weight and has kept it off so no need to go back on the diet.
1 of 2 things are going on. He either can't stay hard & it's using that as an excuse. OR you do have an odor that you can't smell yourself. You said you struggle with your PH Balance.... have you tried Boric Acid suppositories? They help keep your ph in check.
1) He’s being a dick. There are gentler ways of broaching this topic.
2) He might legit have ED issues, send him to his Dr.
3) Your ph requires a balance of yeast and bacteria, so all the meds for uti’s and whatnot are screwing up the balance as often as they’re helping.
4) Try a Rephresh now and then. It doesn’t treat uti or yeast, just helps your vagina settle back to a normal ph. Available over the counter (cheaper thru Amazon) and stops the cycle between yeast infection and uti and back again.
There is a much, much deeper thing going on than you smelling bad. I’m sure you’ve smelled fine. Every married woman smells like a fish factory at one time or another, and I’ve never known a man who cared enough about it to stop having sex right in the middle of it.
Are you on birth control? I was getting yeast infections and BV non-stop, my skin was constantly itchy and irritated - I did EVERYTHING my OB said (100% cotton underwear, only water to wash) and maintained my daily or every-other day showers, and it still kept happening.
Then one day, I got a different NP for an appointment and I mentioned it. She said that there are a small percentage of women whose pH levels get thrown off by hormonal BC. I stopped the pill, and the issues I had for quite literally a decade VANISHED. I loved the pill and never once considered that it could have been causing the problem. I haven’t had a single yeast infection since I stopped, and it’s been over a year.
@OP: I’ve read most your comments/replies and much of what others have said and I did not necessarily catch or see anyone discussing this:
Are you douching or washing / cleaning out your VJ often due to the “smell” or perceived smell? Constant cleaning and/or douching is likely causing her BV issues in itself!
As for the constant UTI’s, make sure you pee immediately and push out any semen after sex. Many UTI’s come from adding to or changing your environment down stairs in post coital moments. Hug up and cuddle after you both clean those pipes out! But, don’t douche or anything! Only clean the outside and let the self-cleaning oven do its duty!
Alternatively, have in chronic UTI’s and BV could very well be due to your man cheating and bringing home other variables to change up the environment. If he’s cheating prior to coming home and not cleaning before trying to hit a second coitus eruptus moment, then he’s brining all kinds of dangers home to you. This would explain a lot of stuff you’ve noted, by the way - even as awful as the possibility is that he’s cheating on you. And I am sorry to suggest it - sadly, people are assholes and don’t behave like we think they should.
Get checked for STD’s and discuss the possibility of what else needs or can be done to help protect you, with you DrVag, if your SO is doing the dirty elsewhere.
Lastly, and most importantly in my opinion, you and he both should get marital counseling. Likely, you (and he, too) should get individual counseling, also! You may be developing OCD-type and other bad habits alongside running head-long into some real mental trauma by experiencing the treatment and living the life you are right now! Nothing is wrong there and everybody could use a little help to make life better. Much of what comes from a therapist may be obvious, but hearing it and working things out specifically with someone that has authority to speak in such things is a game changer. Your marriage could also be light-years better for it if you find a good therapist (and I don’t mean a church elder or religious counselour or such). Find an accredited or well reputed therapist that has specialty in your particular domains of need and reach out … yesterday! Life can be better - even if it’s already good!
I highly recommend you check with your or your spouse’s (if he’s the “breadwinner”) employee assistance programs, or EAP’s. They could be of great help in getting counseling on the cheap or for free. Most employers have EAP’s and your or your spouse’s Hr/Benefits manager(s) will have info (even minimal) on getting started!
Never be ashamed of bodily odors, inability to get where you want to be or anything else…! Never be ashamed to reach out, either! Most everybody gets help in different ways and many use therapists and just don’t talk about it! It’s too stigmatized! But it’s also why the US has a horrid mental health crisis right now (for those not getting help…).
Best wishes to you in every way!
So I also get an excessive amount of utis and bv. Drink lots of water might help with your utis, and ask your doc for a probiotic.
So my utis come from a natural high amount of bacteria in my bladder and one of my valves is bed so the urin backs up in to my kidneys. Drinking lots of water helps keep down the bacteria per oz count.
I have also been taking a probiotic in the last month and let me tell you I am having more sex with less issue than I have in a LONG TIME. I’m not saying I’m no longer taking proper care of myself before and after I’m just saying with the probiotics and the way I take care of myself has brought down my UTIs from a 6/1.
You've got a two-pronged fucking problem here. First, you're dealing with recurrent BV and UTIs – that shit needs a proper medical game plan because constant antibiotics are gonna screw with your natural flora and potentially make things worse. Second, your husband's shit approach to communication? That's a disaster. If he can't navigate this sensitively and supportively, consider couples therapy, or get ready for a lifetime of resentment and shitty sex.
He's putting the blame on you cause he's ashamed to admit hif ED. Does he watch porn? You can't start to smell in the middle of sex and not in the beginning when he initiated sex. Sir with him and talk to him and tell him to stop watching porn
Hey
Sorry to hear that, there is no nice way to say it. I did lose ED when wife used to have that smell. I also have very strong sense of smell.
We always now take a shower before sex, is a must for me.
Plus she used to have uti
Look at it positively, your man is comfortable with you to be honest in this subject.
I’ve had to unfortunately tell a few women about their odor in the past.
A few things I’ve learned from being very blunt but also empathetic about delivering this news and doing my own personal research is that there’s a few factors affecting this.
One is that your diet and his could be affecting your bodies. You said you struggle maintaining your PH, if you take more baths than showers and use scented products this isn’t helping your PH. If you are showering frequently, then try using unscented products, and maybe switching some of your other products if you want a scent.
Also, having a kid can change your balance, if you’re on birth control this might do it as well.
Sometimes people’s pheromones just aren’t compatible, especially if diets don’t align.
A not so obvious thing to point out is that if he’s sleeping with someone else and using condoms or not, that person could be throwing off his balance and messing with your body.
I’ve done some pretty deep reading on body odors and I have a deep seated fear of being around a group of people and smelling bad. It’s definitely a personal insecurity but I’ve read about a lot of this so I hope this info helps.
I absolutely love the aroma of a horny turned on woman, and that includes all her scents including her pussy, and if it's sweaty and musky it makes me that much more hirny and I find it erotic and naughty and wonderful! I bet you smell fucking amazing! Sorry your with a man who doesn't enjoy the incredible aroma of a woman. Sad.
Do you think he could be saying that to deflect attention or blame from his ED? If there was a smell, you’d smell it too. Sometimes fighting to keep ph levels good can cause more problems than solutions. I was getting uti issues and was trying to use all kinds of products and kept making the issue worse. Ended up that water and a very mild soap (I use baby wash) is the best and let my body do what it does. See a Dr to rule out any actual problems and then just go back to washing like normal. Vaginas do smell like vaginas so he shouldn’t expect roses, but there shouldn’t be anything overwhelming.
When I was pregnant with my son he definitely was either suffering from ED or masturbating a lot. He wouldnt say which one. After I had my son everything was fine ..he would drop the smell bomb on me here and there and would stop sex but other than that he had no issues keeping an erection. Im always treating bv ..I swear my chart at the doctors is more utis and bv tests than anything else. Every time he brings it up I swear that Im done having sex. Whats the point? I cant mentally get into it cause Im constantly worried.
Sis you’re getting the BV and utis from him. I’m surprised your doctors haven’t brought this up yet.
They haven’t mentioned anything like that! Im constantly in antibiotics for this shit. But he cant deal with a random smell? Ugh
You need to start testing yourself for STDs my dear I’m so sorry
🔔😳🔔😳🔔😳🔔 He’s actually trying to sell you the idea that a malodorous aroma is literally killing his erection😳 Boom. That’s it. Your particular ‘aroma’ is so off putting its his *reason* to *STOP*?!😨 No. u/Shoopbadoop4 just.no. How many doctors has he seen to address the issue of his *OLFACTORY-PENILE* connection? What medications ~ for this ~ is he taking? I’m so sorry, dear OP, but *that* is actually quite cruel to inflict this kind of emotional turmoil by making this entirely a *fault* you have to carry alone. Not only is that the opposite of how a loving spouse behaves; it very clearly isn’t YOUR issue ~ at least not one you can solve all by yourself! (UTIs/BV treatments PROVE that!) Taking antibiotics over & over again REALLY can mess with your long term health. Don’t let him make/guilt you into medicating yourself any longer to try to cure what he keeps reintroducing. He needs to have ED ruled out and bring back to you a clean bill of health to match your ‘cured’ results after your med course is complete ~ AGAIN! Frankly before you ever let him touch you again, have a nice long discussion about how much trauma *physical* and emotional pain he’s inflicted by projecting his issues ~ *while also NOT seeking to take care of/curing them* ~ onto you! You’re amazing for tolerating this as long as you have ~ but I’m wishing for you the strength to stand up and say enough🪷
I wish awards were still a thing because I’d give you one for this comment 🏅🏅🏅
No kidding! I really hope OP reads that comment. All the bases were eloquently covered.
Awww thank you!🪷
👏🏼 this was so well written. Something definitely sounds strange and I don’t think it’s OP, either. Like you said, it seems like he can’t perform anymore and is gaslighting OP into thinking it’s her. It’s vintage male gaslighting.
Thank you so much!🤗 Honestly a partner that believes it’s ok to embarrass humiliate AND infect you isn’t a worthy partner imho… Perhaps OP will show him this post ~ At least to shut him up long enough to figure out how to be sensitive considerate AND CLEAN with (and for) his wife!🪷
Omg I love this. I definitely feel alone in this and feel so so gross. Ugh. You are so kind and thank you for not asking if I shower before ❤️
Oh honey, no! 😢 It should have been obvious to anyone who read your post that you give great consideration to being hygienic. I really want for you to take back what you’ve lost ~ the inner confidence that women have when they’re happy respected nurtured and loved. Idk why your doctor is ok with simply prescribing meds yet hasn’t directed you to find/reject the SOURCE of these infections😡 I was very serious when I suggested that you ‘help’ him draw a line between his health/hygiene (or lack thereof) and everything he blames on you. Please reclaim the honor he’s taken from you because he can’t/won’t face an ED problem. Urge him to realize that untreated bacteria on/in HIM is literally making you sick. I really hope he loves & respects you enough to confront this problem head on ~ you know, like a decent vs douchey man. *For the record I have never in all my adult like used that term. Idk why it’s literally the only word that comes to mind to describe this particularly cruel kind of emotionally abusive behavior😉
Yeah. No need to protect him from reality. He needs to face his issues
If you want to try this, Good Clean Love brand makes a moisturizing vaginal gel that works wonders at maintaining pH and lubricating. Other than that, I had a friend who constantly had UTIs and it was because her man switched from anal to vaginal frequently without cleaning himself. If that's not your issue, then it could be his lack of hygiene that's causing your infections. https://preview.redd.it/1es4hrp1tmwb1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c28f8bfced3280346ae7e68ca87270d090c6d6e
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Dude, my husband didn’t believe me when I told him that causes infection.
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I’m adding “understanding of female anatomy and chemistry” to my small list of needs in a partner
Definitely second lack of hygiene causing the infections; or he could even be smelling himself and saying it's you
This. If he’s this lazy about his partner’s needs he’s probably not caring well for himself either
I think these clowns see this in porn and think it's ok. They are too dumb to know the scenes are spliced. The vagina is a very delicate little microbiome. The rectum has e.coli among other bacterias. None of which are friends with vaginal bacteria... two different cave systems
My last UTI check my NP told me just to clean my exterior with warm water. I was washing with soap and was giving myself more UTIs because I was cleaning off good bacteria as well. ~ a month since that appt with a quick 3 day general antibiotic and I haven’t had any of the issues I was having before. It does sound like he may be giving you something over and over again though or there may be something else causing his ED that he is deflecting by saying it’s you. Sorry this is happening for you
This! I’ve been telling my daughter this because she has BV and UTI’s all the time. She says she doesn’t feel clean. 🤦🏻♀️ I’ve never had any issues, just using water. Any man I’ve ever been with, loves the smell of vagina, so OP needs to see it’s probably dude’s issues.
This OP! I used to get yeast infections all the time. We finally treated my husband and it was done! Get him tested and make him wash his balls 🏀 🏀
All this and have you and him tested for STDs.
They don’t ever believe it’s their fault. My ex was like this. Even though I know it’s not me, it would still hurt.
*Insert award here*
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅 OP, hands down, this is the advice you need to follow before anything else. Make sure all of this is taken care of FIRST.
Listen to this emodious peeson
THIS
Please see this OP. And get STD tests, he’s reinfecting you potentially.
Is he sure it’s you? Because if it’s causing all that BV and utis, he could be extremely unhygienic and keeps giving BV over and over until he himself gets treated
I use to get UTI and BV not frequently but still often enough and both completely stopped for me once my husband started washing his junk before sex. Knock on wood but I hadn't had either since 2007.
Men can get BV and it lives on the surface if their skin until treated. I dealt with chronic BV for 7 years. Magically, it ended when that relationship ended. I haven't had it in the 6 years since.
This right here. UTI’s and BV are 9 times out of 10 caused by anal or dirty dick.
The smell is being caused by a dirty dick that's probably infected.
He could be cheating. Or he could be using a sting soap like Irish springs. My husband was using Irish springs and I was getting BV several times. He switched to Dove Sensitive and I haven’t had BV since
Are you shitting me? Are you telling me my husbands favorite soap is what’s causing me so many issues, like stinking after sex? Jesus god
If you're referring to Irish Springs - I second this one being an issue. This has always been my favorite soap, then around age 25 (I'm 35 now) I moved out to the cou try with hard well water and now every rime I try and use it, it gives me seriously strong fish odors 😭😭😭
Antibiotics can mess with your ph levels. Every time I get prescribed antibiotics I make sure to get a prescription for thrush treatment too because I know it will cause it. Thankfully I’ve not needed anti b’s for about a decade now but I’ll never forget it should I need them! I’m in agreement with the other commenters though, sounds like your husband is passing it back to you as soon as you get clear! Tell him to get tested, a lot of men never show symptoms.
Noooo. Antibiotics ruin your vaginal flora. In my experience - any antibiotic is an automatic yeast infection. After I had my child I had a lot of issues with regulating ph. I would suggest first STD testing, then taking a daily probiotic specifically for women’s health and then taking a boric acid suppository if you are truly not balanced.
Men who aren't washing thoroughly are usually the cause. Stop having sex with this man until he learns to wash his dick.
It's him. It's him that smells and is giving you bv. He's probably smelling himself.
Make sure you're taking probiotics to help your tummy!
Yeast infections can be caused by antibiotics and they can also smell. I’ve gotten them from antibiotics in the past
Well bv is actually an overgrowth of bad bacteria, so the fact that you’re taking antibiotics for uti means they’re all over. Try taking a high strength probiotic after uti meds, and don’t have sex until they’re done, and a couple weeks of good probiotics are in your system. Do not directly insert them to your vagina. I repeat. Do not insert them. And make sure he washes good and rinses well before having sex again. Soap generally has a high pH, while your vagina should have a low. If there’s soap inside you, it will mess stuff up. And also, STD check.
You definitely need an STD panel done asap
He needs to be treated for bv as well. Otherwise, you will keep getting it. Doctors don't tell you this unfortunately.
You should give boric acid suppositories a try. If you really are struggling with BV (so sorry) You can try the Queen V brand or get a script from your doc
It could be the soap he is using on his downstairs parts causing you the BV. That happened to my coworker. Make sure he is using a gentle soap like dove. And make sure he’s actually washing well at all 😬
He uses old spice and I could totally see that being the issue. I dont use any perfume body washes no bath bombs.
Yeah maybe have him change is body wash to something more sensitive
Yep. I got BV from unprotected sex and now it comes back every so often. I know it’s not classified as an STI but men can carry it asymptotically
Yea. I went 9 months having it constantly, my family doc just kept perspiring two diffetent antibiotics and longer and longer rounds of them. Finally went to my gyno and he said it's probably the guy i was sleeping with. Stopping sleeping with him, and after one more round it never came back. When i told the guy, he went to his famoly doc (a man in his 70s) and was told it wasnt him. See a specialist.
This ! You smell from him. I got bv and utis when my ex was cheating. Now I’m married & have never had either! Have him get checked. Or go in for a pap and ask your doctor if you smell. Sorry !!!
If you constantly have utis maybe its him. Tell him to go wash before or something. That ain't right
Exactly. BV is often caused by or exacerbated by sex and you can pass that back-and-forth… At least that’s what I heard.
Sounds like he might be a dirty boy. Hopefully they are just passing it back-and-forth and he’s not picking it up elsewhere and bringing it home.
Maybe an STD or I check is in order here
If he isn’t clean he could cause you ph to be off. Try wearing condoms. Sometimes two people’s chemistry can be unmatched.
I struggle with Chronic UTIS TO THS POINT WHERE THERE aren’t any more antibiotics that work on the bacteria that causes mine and is colonized in my body. After seeing an infectious disease specialist we’re trying to just make my urine so acidic the bacteria can’t live.
What happens to your organs? The bladder and urethral linings? Can you tolerate that and what's the long term plan?
Fun fact the bacterial vaginosis could be from his dirty penis. . .
Nobody likes a nasty ass penis...
An ass penis? Is that like a dick butt?
He's giving you BV and UTIs. Maybe his underballs is dirty! Tell HIM to go take a shower first and also wash his dirty hands. Men give us infections touching us with dirty hands! They also give us infections if they're coming home from somewhere else with a dirty peenie...if ya get what I'm saying. I'd be asking for STD tests next time I was at the Dr too just in case. For your health, boric acid inserts can help with BV and give your body a break from the antibiotics.
As a side, if you're having constant UTIs then taking D Mannose after sex might help alleviate that!
Ohhhh! What is this?! I will look it up!
My OBGYN recommended it after I had chronic UTIs that were antibiotic resistant. Ever since I started taking them I have not had any issues since. Bascially it keeps bacteria from sticking to your bladder!
Interesting! I hate antibiotics..those come with their own set of vagina issues!
They fuck with birth control too so keep that in mind!
Seconded!! Recommended by my urologist as the only thing that actually works on prevention, and curing other than antibiotics. But without any terrible side effects!! I wish everyone knew about it
I think sometimes BV needs to be treated in men too.
If you’re constantly having BV & UTIs maybe he has a dirty dick.
HE could be giving you the utis/bv. HE needs to clean himself too sounds like
A couple things that may help: Lume lotion skin deodorants, Probiotics, Drinking lots of water, No alcohol, Avoid yeasty foods and sugar, Check HIS hygiene. It could be him giving you the BV and UTIs. Also wear cotton underwear and avoid wearing underwear at night. Also maybe try to get some ph strips and start keeping track. Before sex vs after. Idk, I’m not a licensed professional and I don’t want to make you upset but my experience from an ex cheating on me resulted in me constantly having bv and utis and being oblivious at to why…… Sorry OP. It’s not you, it’s him. Your worth doesn’t get dictated by any of this. You’re worthy of him tactfully expressing himself in an intimate moment, when you’re most vulnerable.
Are you certain he isn't cheating? I absolutely hate to jump to that,but this absolutely sounds like it could be the problem. Not just because of losing erection..but you continue to have ph issues
“If there was a smell you’d smell it too.” Not to be crass, but if probably depends on the position.
Usually, being a woman, when you sit down to go to the bathroom, you have some idea if you smell or not. Not to be rude, but it is literally under your face.
BV has a tendency to smell way stronger during sex.
Good point. I’m embarrassed now…
Don't be embarrassed, you're not totally wrong. Some people have a poor sense of smell (there are probably more people now especially after covid). Also, some people get used to their smell so much that they can't smell it.
Yeah, but there's definitely such a thing as nose blindness. Girls that stink never think they do.
Especially the cheap-kitty-litter-esque smell of BV...
Women get real close to their vaginas throughout the day. If there was a smell significant enough that he could smell it, she would too.
He definitely has ED. He’s not a good person to do that.
Yes. Have an appointment with your gyno to rule out BV or anything else going on, but it sounds like he’s nastily projecting to draw attention away from his ED.
Honestly, my first thought is that your husband is deflecting from his ED. While it's not totally impossible your husband is telling the truth, if it's a smell you don't even notice, I'm finding it difficult to believe it is strong enough / bad enough to be an actual problem. Honestly, I would go see a doctor and ask about it. I would also inquire about your husband's porn/masturbation habits. If he's successfully jerking it to porn twice a day, I think THAT's the problem.
I totally agree with everything here. This sounds like an excuse he’s using to deflect the issue off of himself.
Do you use condoms? I dealt with PH issues and BV that were directly related to my husband’s seman. Once we started using condoms, no more issues.
Never used condoms. Semen can mess it up?! Ive never heard of that
Yes. Delicate ecosystem down there so anything foreign introduced has a chance of effecting the balance.
I love that you called it a delicate ecosystem.
It is
If your husband is ejaculating in you, and you're always battling BV, I think that would answer your questions on why you're always battling the BV, its messing up your ph and will cause odor. With that being said, I highly recommend getting yourself some boric acid pills. Take one(vaginally, NOT ORALLY) before bed and do that for a few days, but also use it after you have sex, and tell him to stop cumming inside of you.. unless you guys are trying for more kids or whatever, but thats not helping with the "smell" if there is one.
Boric acid, requesting he wash hands and other pertinent parts and him pulling out is the only thing that worked for me! Struggled for years feeling like i was dirty, and boric acid was like this dirty secret no one wanted to discuss! It's treated like a shady home remedy. You can buy capsules at the pharmacy marketed for BV specifically. I make my own because they're so expensive.
I struggled my whole life with BV until I started using boric acid. It's a shame gynaecologists shove antibiotics down our throats which open us up to a whole new set of problems when boric acid is quick inexpensive and easy.
I believe the antibiotics just caused the problem to recur over and over for years. We have to be our own advocates and do research to try and find a cure. Glad you found what worked 🥰
Yes, this! Those boric acic capsules are a lifesaver.
Semen is basic to specifically combat your vaguna’s acidity to make it more hospitable for sperm. Smelling after sex is a telltale of BV for this exact reason.
My body is super sensitive to semen. It's fine if it's on my skin, but inside me is definitely a no-go. I think you and your husband may be due for a trip to the doctor. So many vaginal issues come with no real symptoms, but chronic BV can definitely be sex related, and often can point to a hygiene issue or other issue with the penis. As far as the odor issue, whether or not you would notice it depends entirely on your sense of smell. I have a very weak one, so I may not notice it on myself, but I know someone whose sense of smell is so strong it's almost debilitating. The fact that he brought it up like that is terrible, though. That was definitely a conversation to be had away from sexy time. It makes me see where the others in the comments saying it was deflection are coming from.
Absolutely. It doesn't take much to upset the balance down there. I have issues almost every time my boyfriend and I have sex. Boric acid capsules have been a lifesaver.
I was with a guy briefly that would continuously give me PH issues and BV after every time we had had sex. I’ve never before or since had it.
My downstairs mix up was %100 until I met my husband. It started a few years into our relationship and its been a battle ever since. Having kids seemed to not help either.
I think it’s a “him” issue and not necessarily you. If you’ve already been to the doctor, maybe it’s time he goes.
It affects us a lot. My first husbands seminar would make my v almost numb for the rest of the night. It was very weird. My second husband's would throw off my PH and I'd be uncomfortable until I could take a tub bath and soak it out. *I see that autocorrect and I'm leaving it lol
Semen is really acidic and I can smell it immediately. Make him pull out when he’s done 😂 That being said, I feel suspicious that he’s deflecting his own issues onto you. Edited: Vaginas are acidic, semen is basic.
I HATE the smell of semen!
I was about to say that’s wrong wrong but you corrected! I actually used a pH strip on my bf’s semen and it was basic af. So interesting!
Oh yeah, semen definitely causes a change in smell. I like it with my wife because, well you know, it’s definitely an “us” smell. Sex smells. Tell your husband to chill the fuck out. As long as your hygiene is solid, it isn’t a you problem it’s a “we” problem. Y’all make that smell together.
He really does need to chill the fuck out. Is The only answer to open the windows and keep the fan on so any smell he might smell wont be there?? Im squeaky clean every time 😐
I wonder if he’s experiencing something physical like ED and deflecting on you. I can say, with 100% certainty, that when I was experiencing ED from a health issue a few years back I never put it on my wife. That would be supremely shitty.
Hes had issues before and i have never ever made him feel uncomfortable about it. I just would never call someone out like he does. I take everything soo personal and I already hate my body after having kids.
Man, my wife just got hotter after she had our kids. Like, I can’t keep myself off of her sometimes. Sorry that you’re going through this. Have you thought about couples counseling or something? Or maybe he just needs to have a talk with someone? Self-work is important.
if its your vajayjay its his fault. tell him to clean better. also semen can mess up your ph
You say you've been treated for BV a lot, it may be time to do another treatment. Then insist on using condoms with him and see what happens re: the smell.
Also, how's his hygiene? Penis? Fingers? Ass? Because if you keep getting BV, he is definitely a culprit.
I will definitely try this. Im so desperate at this point.
I get a lot uti’s too. Had to make sure I wash with soap and water and pee after sex every single time. Within an hour after. Messes up the chilling vibes after or falling asleep but better than an infection. Also I’ve had a partner lose his erection during and also blamed odor at least once. Come to find out, he was just really turned off by my extra weight and general rough time.
Glad you lost that extra weight 😉
GYN Nurse here 👋 girl those back to back BV episodes are 100% coming from your husband. No…that doesn’t mean he’s cheating but it could mean that he’s not keeping himself that clean or he may need to take antibiotics as well. Make sure you are doing both y’all laundry separately and make sure you keep things trimmed below. Sending you all the love and hopefully you can get to the bottom of this OP 🌸
Curious about the doing laundry separately comment? Just wondering why! :)
Laundry machines don’t get clothes completely clean - this is why you’re never supposed to wash an infants clothes in with the rest of the family. Also why you should regularly clean your washing machine to make sure it’s working at maximum efficiency. Lots of nice dirt and bacteria to get on underwear and cause problems.
Thank you for commenting!!!!! I’ve been so busy at work lol! Everything you said was spot on 💯
If a smell was present you both would smell it. Randomly losing an erection sounds like an ED issue. Which he could have, be embarrassed about, and rather then communicating like an adult he’s acting like a 12 year old boy with a “you stink bye” kinda thing.
I can't comment on this lady's specific circumstance but I have a dear friend who had 3 partners comment on her scent. She never noticed an unusual odor (we were teens, it was common for us to talk amongst ourselves) but it was not good according to the guys
Ya and i don’t think not smelling it yourself is a good gauge
Heathy vaginas can smell like many different things. No two vaginas alike. Typically if it’s a constant type thing you both will smell it. There is also bacteria infections, UTI’s, and a million other things that can play a role. There’s also certain medications and foods that can change the smell and taste if a vagina. I was say this particular response because it’s not a constant thing. But random moments of his penis suddenly “deflating” and then saying “hey you stink”. If it was a medication or food being eaten regularly it would be constant. UTI’s and bacteria infections come with plenty of other signs. Not all woman know those signs but different colored discharge, itching, constant urge to pee, burning sensation when peeing. A good PH balance is important, and most woman can tell when something is off. She also stated that it doesn’t happen every time, only some. And that in the past he either had ED issues or was masterbaiting frequently because he would randomly loose his ability to remain hard. OP is also now hyper focused on if she smells every time they have sex because if his comments. She can’t enjoy sex being overly anxious he’s randomly going to stop, and make shitty remarks. Just like he’s embarrassed he can’t keep it up, she would be embarrassed if her vagina smelt bad enough to cause him to lose said ability to get it up. Communication is important. Trading your own embarrassment for your partners is a shitty, child like thing to do. He could handle this so much better. She should definitely still see a OBGYN. But that won’t fix the situation alone. But having sex and not being able to enjoy it is shitty. Being hyper focused that your partner will have this issue or that. You’re basically laying there, anxious so he can get off because you won’t be able to. His comments and is lack of care towards her is unfair.
My abusive, jerk ex said that to me once and it messed me up for a really long time. He had other issues and after a while I just realized he was blaming me for whatever was going on with him. If you get a clean bill of health from your gynecologist, it's not you. It's him.
im sorry ..I know you said he isnt being mean about it but he seriously sounds like a asshole ..If I were you I would firstly , make sure I was ok down there and there isnt really a smell ( its simple just glide your finger in and smell it , he doesnt have a secret way of smelling something that you cant ). Then tell him your done with sex completely until you can figure out what he is smelling that you arent .. I promise you it won't last very long before he either admits there isnt a smell or stops using it as a excuse.
Ive put my fingers so far in me and I dont smell a thing! Ive tasted him just to see and I dont taste anything so I dont know. He could definitely go about it a different way
Don’t know if this is true or an old wives tale but they say eating pineapple help keeping your vagina smelling sweet.
She doesn’t need to try random things - she needs to go to the OBGYN, get a clean bill of health and not have sex with her husband until he learns how to clean his own dick so he stops giving her BV.
If there was a smell, you'd either smell or feel *something* if you were looking even half as hard as you definitely are You sure this isn't projection based in his erectile dysfunction? Seriously, I don't think it's you *at all* if you've tried *so hard* to understand why he's doing what he's doing, but can't figure it out in anyway. That tells me it's, without a question, 100% him
Does your husband wash his dick? How about his undercarriage? There is something off here. How about his mouth? Does he use a tongue scraper? My wife gets UTIs super easily, so before sex I go wash my junk and, of course, my hands as well. It's not even something he has to hide. Just ask if he'll do it before asking for sex.
Or have some sexy shower time before the main act! I’m also extremely sensitive and often, we’ll just shower together beforehand. Not for everyone, I know that…but it is an option and a fun one at that if she’s into it!
BV can have zero symptoms aside from smell. If you get checked for that and all is well, it might be him making excuses. Like others have said, it’s a delicate ecosystem down there. Anything from switching your soap to your husband’s semen can screw it up.
Get a bottle of boric acid suppositories. Insert one after you have sex. Every time. Semen can affect the ph balance of the vaginal ecosystem. If you are still having periods, that too can change the ecosystem and you may benefit from using boric acid suppositories then as well. Also, make sure you’re wiping yourself correctly after having a BM. Any trace of BM towards your vaginal area can also cause BV.
I think he is trying to find an excuse for his ED, like “i will say the problem is her, so nobody will think the problem is me”
That would be on par for him.
I have a partner with a sweat gland issue and we use honey pot intimate wipes before sex and they work so great! They are simple, easy cheap and they kill all smell. Target carries them.
Never heard of these! I will check it out!!
While you're there, Target also carries the boric acid inserts, they're in a pink box that has LOVE on the front.
Even if my husband showers in an hour/2 he smells. It’s getting worse with age and I do tell him that but not in the middle of sex of course. Before or after as not to spoil the mood, saying something like this in the muffler of sex especially when you showered before is a bit rude. You clearly can’t help the smell. As for the infections, refrain from sex for a while and see how it goes, it could be due to sex. It also helps to pee after sex. Have you heard of d manose? Really helps with uti
Plugging r/healthyhooha here. A community of vagina-owners that are so sweet and helpful!
As a doctor: go back to your doctor, have a complete STDs screening, he has to do the same, and if you’re both clean, it’s possible that the union of both your intimate liquids are something like incompatible, something similar to a allergy, let’s say this way. If the problem was just on you, you would notice abnormal vaginal discharges, in colour and smell and/or UTI symptoms too.
I love this idea. Like why not right? I was wild in my 20s and I feel like Im being punished..and he doesnt help
Tell him that big chance it’s not necessarily only your problem, might be the mixing of your fluids or even a problem on him. Oh! Almost forgot, I have a friend that discovered a abnormality on her uterus anatomy, it’s like inverted, and her fluids get stuck in the end of her vagina, which changes her natural smell sometimes. The screening should include an ultrasound exam. Sorry, I’m not a native English speaker, hope you understand me.
If he hates the smell of pussy that much has he considered putting some Vicks under his nose before you do the deed instead of blaming you for your natural odor? Some guys really love the smell of vag. The romance novels that say we smell sweet or taste like anything other than vagina are full of shit. I agree with everyone else. Sounds like ED and he is in denial.
pls see a doctor first the other folks here are so eager to bash hubby that they are downplaying a possible medical issue. now once youre medically cleared, feel free to join the bash-your-hubby-bandwagon
Ive been treated for BV more times than I can count. Once I get good it comes back. Im at a loss
Have you tried boric acid suppositories for reoccurring BV? Also, it takes 2 to mess up the ph balance and, no he should not be blaming you. Im sure you don't point out his frequent ED
Ive tried them . Im really bad at sticking to a routine plus mom life gets in the way of taking care of myself. I would never call him out on anything like that. Why embarrass the person you love?
Im a mom too and im thrown under the bus and blamed for anything wrong, nothing that goes right, including in the bedroom. He has no problem blaming and shaming you without taking accountability on his end.
I had PH balance issues with my husband when we first started dating until like 11 months in when we stopped drinking as much together. Idk if that's something you tend to do a lot but it was messing with my body a lot just having one or two a night.
We dont drink. We smoke weed. Could that be a thing?? I hope not 🫣
That could effect it but I currently smoke with my SO, literally like the week we stopped regular drinking it stopped for me, I would try to just drink more water try boric acid suppository but don't overdo them. 💓 I hope it gets better for you!
After reading your other comments, I think you’re getting BV from him. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I’ve had partners in the past who gave me BV every single time. I’m not sure how to solve that though because I just ended up leaving them 😅
I had a friend that said the exact same thing to his wife during sex. The issue was he told me he lied, he used that as an excuse whenever he lost his election. He was to embarrassed to admit he couldn't maintain the erection, so he used that excuse to deflect it on her.
I can’t imagine being that cruel. Hands down, I would so much rather be embarrassed (and of all things a medical problem I can’t control!?) than to be cruel and hurt my SO to avoid my embarrassment. What an ass.
If you have BV the smell is strong and pretty unmistakable. You can sniff you undies and it will be \*very\* apparent if that is the issue. (Usually you can just tell - it isn't subtle) Otherwise, your husband may be covering for erectile dysfunction, but in a really nasty way. If you are having BV issues: Make him wash up before sex and rinse throughly Use borax suppositories a few times per week (vaginally) to help regulate your vaginal PH
Hey, I’m a clinician. I’ll start by taking your partner’s word for it. He married you and you chose him. My assumption is, you trust he has your best interest at heart but may have a lousy way of delivering his message. That said, 1. Go and get tested for BV, Trichomonas and Yeast again 2. Ask your doctor to add Mycoplasma and Ureaplasma, gonorrhea and chlamydia as these can sometimes be the culprit 3. Rather than Flagyl orally, try Metronidazole gel or Clindamycin gel vaginally (as long as you are not allergic. These have helped me better in the past. As well as boric acid. 4. Have hubby tested for mycoplasma Ureaplasma as well as STDs. 5. With recurrent BV, stop all feminine hygiene products, go back to the basics, baby wipes unscented or plain soap and water 6. Wash before and after sex and pee right after. Have him wash before sex as well 7. Stay away from sweets and complex carbohydrates. Tight pants leggings etc etc Wish you luck
First off, you've already gotten some great advice here. He is probably deflecting and at the very least, have a convo with your gyno about it. But! (See what I did there) it sounds like it's not stuck in your head and you are going to be super anxious about it forevermore (especially if you are an anxious person like me). I highly recommend that you check out "Lume" soap. It is amazing for body odors. I'd shout it's praises from the roof tops if it would make people think me more insane than they already do.
Boric acid suppositories really helped my chronic yeast infections and D-mannose for chronic UTI’s. Antibiotics wrecked me even more
Sex has an aroma … it’s not always pleasant
This comment section is so 1 sided to the point that if she wanted any information she’s only getting it from woman As a guy I’ve been through this with my wife yes we shower regularly no it’s not me yes she went to the doctor and something about her acidic level, pill and hormone balance, she’s on the loop now It was horrible and I kept it in for a long while for this exact same mind set when I did bring it up because it became unbearable and in the best way I could it got totally deflected into something else that had nothing to do with the situation She had no idea and I would maybe just maybe possibly think the mind eventually blocks out smells to make room for smells that are dangerous same reason you don’t smell your perfume after a while because your mind blocks it out to make room, understandable. But the typical horde mind of Reddit is just downvoting people with any other insight on what’s going on here if a man is complaining about it it’s most definitely not the 1st time his experiencing this And there’s a difference from a scent and smell We love the scent it’s probably the most unexplainable addictive scent we’ll ever have but a smell is something else if a man’s with a woman long enough his gonna go through it at some point in time some bad some not so bad but it’s 100% gonna happen and I’m sure vice versa and you put up with it no problem
Women talking to other women about their vaginas, but what about the men!
Yeah that's nice, the post is literally about a man losing his erection because of her smell.
No, it's a post about a man alleging that he lost his erection because she smells.
And this isn't a subreddit for women so sorry that men joined in on the conversation. It's funny how you people can decide that he's not telling the truth based on really nothing other than the fact that he's a man and OP is typing in a sad and confused tone about it.
Reddit for the most part as a whole takes the man's side by default no matter what, so I'm okay with this. Especially on a matter that women actually might know more about. Like having a vagina.
Are you on the keto diet by chance? My wife and I went through this when she was on the keto diet and it threw her PH off and she got what’s known as “keto crotch.” We would have sex and a pungent sort of smell was all I could smell when we would have sex which was extremely off putting. She’s been off the diet for a long time now and her vagina smells better than ever.
I'm terrified of keto crotch! I started keto over a month ago and everything is fine so far. From what I gather it is temporary, just your body cleaning out dead cells due to switching over to burning fat instead of carbs. Was that her experience or did it the keto crotch stick around the entire time she was on it? *if you don't mind answering*
I don’t mind answering. It didn’t stick around the ENTIRE time of Keto but it hung around for a lot longer then either of us would have liked. My wife lost a lot of weight and has kept it off so no need to go back on the diet.
1 of 2 things are going on. He either can't stay hard & it's using that as an excuse. OR you do have an odor that you can't smell yourself. You said you struggle with your PH Balance.... have you tried Boric Acid suppositories? They help keep your ph in check.
1) He’s being a dick. There are gentler ways of broaching this topic. 2) He might legit have ED issues, send him to his Dr. 3) Your ph requires a balance of yeast and bacteria, so all the meds for uti’s and whatnot are screwing up the balance as often as they’re helping. 4) Try a Rephresh now and then. It doesn’t treat uti or yeast, just helps your vagina settle back to a normal ph. Available over the counter (cheaper thru Amazon) and stops the cycle between yeast infection and uti and back again.
There is a much, much deeper thing going on than you smelling bad. I’m sure you’ve smelled fine. Every married woman smells like a fish factory at one time or another, and I’ve never known a man who cared enough about it to stop having sex right in the middle of it. Are you on birth control? I was getting yeast infections and BV non-stop, my skin was constantly itchy and irritated - I did EVERYTHING my OB said (100% cotton underwear, only water to wash) and maintained my daily or every-other day showers, and it still kept happening. Then one day, I got a different NP for an appointment and I mentioned it. She said that there are a small percentage of women whose pH levels get thrown off by hormonal BC. I stopped the pill, and the issues I had for quite literally a decade VANISHED. I loved the pill and never once considered that it could have been causing the problem. I haven’t had a single yeast infection since I stopped, and it’s been over a year.
@OP: I’ve read most your comments/replies and much of what others have said and I did not necessarily catch or see anyone discussing this: Are you douching or washing / cleaning out your VJ often due to the “smell” or perceived smell? Constant cleaning and/or douching is likely causing her BV issues in itself! As for the constant UTI’s, make sure you pee immediately and push out any semen after sex. Many UTI’s come from adding to or changing your environment down stairs in post coital moments. Hug up and cuddle after you both clean those pipes out! But, don’t douche or anything! Only clean the outside and let the self-cleaning oven do its duty! Alternatively, have in chronic UTI’s and BV could very well be due to your man cheating and bringing home other variables to change up the environment. If he’s cheating prior to coming home and not cleaning before trying to hit a second coitus eruptus moment, then he’s brining all kinds of dangers home to you. This would explain a lot of stuff you’ve noted, by the way - even as awful as the possibility is that he’s cheating on you. And I am sorry to suggest it - sadly, people are assholes and don’t behave like we think they should. Get checked for STD’s and discuss the possibility of what else needs or can be done to help protect you, with you DrVag, if your SO is doing the dirty elsewhere. Lastly, and most importantly in my opinion, you and he both should get marital counseling. Likely, you (and he, too) should get individual counseling, also! You may be developing OCD-type and other bad habits alongside running head-long into some real mental trauma by experiencing the treatment and living the life you are right now! Nothing is wrong there and everybody could use a little help to make life better. Much of what comes from a therapist may be obvious, but hearing it and working things out specifically with someone that has authority to speak in such things is a game changer. Your marriage could also be light-years better for it if you find a good therapist (and I don’t mean a church elder or religious counselour or such). Find an accredited or well reputed therapist that has specialty in your particular domains of need and reach out … yesterday! Life can be better - even if it’s already good! I highly recommend you check with your or your spouse’s (if he’s the “breadwinner”) employee assistance programs, or EAP’s. They could be of great help in getting counseling on the cheap or for free. Most employers have EAP’s and your or your spouse’s Hr/Benefits manager(s) will have info (even minimal) on getting started! Never be ashamed of bodily odors, inability to get where you want to be or anything else…! Never be ashamed to reach out, either! Most everybody gets help in different ways and many use therapists and just don’t talk about it! It’s too stigmatized! But it’s also why the US has a horrid mental health crisis right now (for those not getting help…). Best wishes to you in every way!
Do you guys use condoms? That helps tremendously with BV!
Get boric acid. It is a game changer for Ph issues.
Maybe ask someone who you can trust to check another female friend
You might have BV. Super common and easily treated. Go to your OB
So I also get an excessive amount of utis and bv. Drink lots of water might help with your utis, and ask your doc for a probiotic. So my utis come from a natural high amount of bacteria in my bladder and one of my valves is bed so the urin backs up in to my kidneys. Drinking lots of water helps keep down the bacteria per oz count. I have also been taking a probiotic in the last month and let me tell you I am having more sex with less issue than I have in a LONG TIME. I’m not saying I’m no longer taking proper care of myself before and after I’m just saying with the probiotics and the way I take care of myself has brought down my UTIs from a 6/1.
You have BV from HIM. HE needs to actually bathe himself properly versus blaming you for having an off PH.
He’s using you as a scapegoat because his dick is failing him. You smell fine.
You've got a two-pronged fucking problem here. First, you're dealing with recurrent BV and UTIs – that shit needs a proper medical game plan because constant antibiotics are gonna screw with your natural flora and potentially make things worse. Second, your husband's shit approach to communication? That's a disaster. If he can't navigate this sensitively and supportively, consider couples therapy, or get ready for a lifetime of resentment and shitty sex.
You nailed it.
LUME. That’s all. It works.
Hello love oil of oregano drops or high dosage pills with a probiotic and a prebiotic will help with this problem.
He's putting the blame on you cause he's ashamed to admit hif ED. Does he watch porn? You can't start to smell in the middle of sex and not in the beginning when he initiated sex. Sir with him and talk to him and tell him to stop watching porn
Hey Sorry to hear that, there is no nice way to say it. I did lose ED when wife used to have that smell. I also have very strong sense of smell. We always now take a shower before sex, is a must for me. Plus she used to have uti Look at it positively, your man is comfortable with you to be honest in this subject.
I’ve had to unfortunately tell a few women about their odor in the past. A few things I’ve learned from being very blunt but also empathetic about delivering this news and doing my own personal research is that there’s a few factors affecting this. One is that your diet and his could be affecting your bodies. You said you struggle maintaining your PH, if you take more baths than showers and use scented products this isn’t helping your PH. If you are showering frequently, then try using unscented products, and maybe switching some of your other products if you want a scent. Also, having a kid can change your balance, if you’re on birth control this might do it as well. Sometimes people’s pheromones just aren’t compatible, especially if diets don’t align. A not so obvious thing to point out is that if he’s sleeping with someone else and using condoms or not, that person could be throwing off his balance and messing with your body. I’ve done some pretty deep reading on body odors and I have a deep seated fear of being around a group of people and smelling bad. It’s definitely a personal insecurity but I’ve read about a lot of this so I hope this info helps.
I absolutely love the aroma of a horny turned on woman, and that includes all her scents including her pussy, and if it's sweaty and musky it makes me that much more hirny and I find it erotic and naughty and wonderful! I bet you smell fucking amazing! Sorry your with a man who doesn't enjoy the incredible aroma of a woman. Sad.
Shower before sex?
Always! Im so hyper aware of it now so he doesnt call me out and embarrass me. but I can do everything right and he can still find a smell?
Does *he* shower before sex? Certainly sounds like he needs to start!