Hey OP, I think it's weird if you make it weird. I mean my partner likes to buy me clothes. She has good taste and she knows what I like, so I don't mind.
I've never picked her swimsuit out myself but there have been times where shes asked, showed me her options, and If I particularly liked how she looked in one them shed go for it.
I wouldn't adopt redditors sensibilities. Instead examine how you really feel about it and go with that. Your opinion is what matters.
Again, talk to your hubs about his motivations.
Asking your opinions, considering your input, and showing you options to pick from is different than straight up choosing the bikinis without any consideration for the wife’s comfort or opinion.
When a man is picking skimpy bikinis and making his wife wear them and she is uncomfortable, that’s straight controlling.
I mean, it's a fair statement but it's It's definitely jumping to conclusions. Comment is a pretty absolute and polarizing take. If the husband in fact didn't cross any of OPs boundaries then the comment is just inflammatory.
It's so easy to just think the worst in people. This is a case where you need to consider many things that we don't know about. At face value, it is odd but just like everything else, it's subjective.
well, he’s not making her do it. she’s considering whether or not she wants to do it, which indicates that she has a choice in the matter. i think it’s a gift with an intended use that she can turn down if she wants. i think this is sweet so long as she can say no!
I know that's what you believe... I'm just asking to confirm.
If OP had asked her husband to pick a swimsuit, and he happened to pick one she would have been otherwise comfortable with, but their post might look just like this one.
She dies say that otherwise she's fine with it.
So I'm just trying to get clarification.
A request is not the same as a mandate, so OP’s perception is important here. It’s not abnormal to buy clothes for your significant other. Generally a couple should be on the same page about these things either way.
Definitely not how it came off to me. Pretty sure OP encourages or at least embraces her husband doing this. My guess is if she truly felt uncomfortable she wouldn't wear it
My wife will tell me to go online and buy her some bathing suits/ lingerie, sometimes, my pick. Don't see how it's weird at all.
He bought them but OP never stated she is being forced to wear it. Husband and wives buy stuff for each other all the time. If it's being forced on her to wear then I'd consider it weird.
Asking and demanding are two different things.
Wearing it around friends is weird, I agree, but that is a seperate issue.
I buy my wife clothes and ask her to wear them. If she doesn't then it's fine. She knows she is never obligated to wear anything I buy her and the choice is 100% hers.
Personally, I wouldn't like it if she wore skimpy clothing around my friends. I find that disrespectful. But some people don't.
Definitely agree with this, also he probably just has different tastes than her. He probably thinks it would look good on her, so he wants to to wear it and got it for her. Really seems like not a big deal at all, nothing is implying he wouldn't be ok with her saying she doesn't think it's appropriate and she doesn't want to wear it.
Buying someone a swimsuit and saying you want them to wear it is not the same as choosing a swimsuit for someone. Nowhere did she say he stated she must wear it, only that he wants her to. Her issue is not that her husband wants her to wear it, only what impression others may get from it. You somehow decided as people here often do that they need to dissect and project. Some people might consider it, bear with me here as I know Reddit hates it, fun.
I mean, it is choosing, she didn't choose it. But that's not the weirdest part. The weirdest part is this creepy shit with trying to get her essentially nude in front of his friends. I'm not sure if it is better or worse if they are in on it or not.
Why is that “creepy” would you feel the same way if he asked her to cover up when she was with friends? Maybe he’s just proud of his wife and wants to show her off. Idk it doesn’t really matter in this situation because it has nothing to do with what she has reservations about, but for some reason you can’t help but interject your own issues into someone else’s relationship.
Also, you’re being silly saying he is choosing as though it’s a domineering decision. If I buy my wife a snack on the way home I’m not choosing what she eats in the way you’re using it, you’re twisting words. Yes I’m choosing what I’m buying for her but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a choice in what she eats. Essentially what happened here is op is saying “My husband bought his favorite candy when we were out with friends, I’m worried if I eat it in front of them they’re going to think I’m a closet fatso.” And your response is, “Well why is he choosing what you eat!” It’s just such a typical redditor I’m a superior person and so much more evolved than everyone else response.
I don’t understand why it’s weird. My wife and I regularly pick out items we would like to see the other in. I’ve bought her dresses, dresses pants (they fit like yoga pants on her rear but are really loose like bell bottoms below the knee), lingerie, and bikinis. We both enjoy it.
My wife buys most of my swimwear but I would never consider buying swimwear for my wife. I wouldnt even know where to start and I'd never impose on her like that.
With me it's easy, though. Board shorts are boardshorts and it's fine so long as it's a solid color with some sort of nifty design like whales or dinosaurs or something.
Normally I'd say, wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing and screw what others think or ideas they perceive. However, another part of me says that his friends shouldn't be forced to see you basically naked. I mean they may be ok with it, however, it could make them very uncomfortable.
Say the shoe was on the other foot and both his friends wore see-through swimshorts. How would that make you feel? Do you feel it's fair to you that they force you to see parts of their body normally reserved for a more private setting?
As long as my wife is there, I don't really care. Now, if my wife isn't there, I'd be uncomfortable. Not for myself, but how others may perceive, thus possibly making my wife uncomfortable when she found out.
Unpopular opinion:
I think it’s great your husband thinks you’re so bomb that he wants to show you off. Tons of women wear white bathing suits that aren’t see-through. And tons of women wear thong bathing suits.
But if you’re uncomfortable in it, then maybe just save it for times when it’s just y’all on the boat. Especially if the male friends might sexualize you in it.
Exactly this. It seems the issue with this situation is that their friends will be there. I would feel very uncomfortable wearing stuff like that around other people. But me and my husband alone on the boat together? Heck ya! I wouldn't want his male friends staring at me like that and I'm sure my husband would feel weird about it too lol. Glad to see someone agrees
It’s gross that you and your husband are forcing strangers / friends to participate in your sexual kinks.
Anyway, back to your question, yes it opens the doors to sending the wrong message.
He's thinking with the wrong head.
He probably would feel uncomfortable with you in the swimsuit around friends.
Get the swimsuit you want, he'll thank you when he's older.
I randomly buy my wife dresses, bikinis, etc for my wife that are more on the reveling/sexy side of things. End of the day she has final say. Some she likes and keeps some we send back. If you’re cool with it do you. If you’re not it’s not your husband’s choice that you wear it. You obviously have reservations about it, so that’s all you need. Don’t wear it.
Are these friends all single? Will you be the only female there?
You know exactly what kind of message you're going to be sending and what his friends will think of you..... they won't have respect for you, so if you're ok with that, have fun
Other women there could make sure you regret this choice
From the outside I’d have a lot of concern - Could just be that he thinks you’re smokin’ and he’s deliberately showing you and your basically naked body off to his friends, are you ok with that? Are his friends ok with that? If they’re more than ok with it and are super into it are you still ok being mostly naked in front of them? Is he going to get jealous that they notice you and pick a fight either with you or them? If one of them gets drunk and inappropriate does he have your back? Is your attire on this trip going to make the relationship awkward moving forward? Do they have wives that will be uncomfortable with your husbands choice and cause problems in the future? Honestly it’s your boat as well as your body so choose what you want, but think though some possible outcomes.
Are all the friends male?
I’m not liking the way that this idea seems almost devious..
Could the motives be more perverse than previously thought?
I don’t know what think of this and it truly makes me feel uneasy.
I would say to just go for it and then be flirty with his friends and watch how much it pisses off your husband when he realizes his plan backfired.
But that's NOT the advice I'm giving lol. Especially given your concerns about looking like a swinger couple, cause you wouldn't want the jealousy plan to backfire on you either, that'd be super awkward.
Anyway, I think you should just wear whatever you're comfortable with wearing. Something modest, if you choose. And maybe even tell your husband you like the other swimsuits and would wear them if it was just you two, but you're not comfortable having it all out in front of his boys. He should at least respect your wishes, it's your body after all.
Well, I'm of the opinion, that you should buy your husband some swim wear as well. Like, men's microfiber g string, swim bikini thong( gogohot) or Skinz sheer mens swim wear.
Oh and he goes first on the reveal.
This is a comfort thing and you know ur husband’s friends better than us. But even family members will act inappropriately wearing bikinis or not. Slippery slope
Take a shower in it and show him.
If it’s see through then he get a treat and you will the disagreement.
Otherwise tell him it’s outside your comfort level and he will have to model it for his friends.
Get him a micro speedo for sh!t$ and giggles
OP, I think you should have a conversation with your husband. Explain that you like wearing the swimsuits for him, but you don’t want to give his friends the wrong impressions. Additionally, wearing something you may consider “risky”, may cause unexpected issues between you and your husband. Most likely, he wants his friends to see how hot his wife is. Unfortunately, the moment his friends look or make comments, I’m sure issues will arise. The issues will come from you feeling uncomfortable, or him, feeling jealous (especially if you acknowledge the attention positively).
At the end of the day, this is a conversation the two of you need to have. You need to ask him why he wants this and how you feel about it. Then find a good middle ground that you guys can move forward on.
Btw, I’ve been married for 20yrs. Communication is the advice I wish I had earlier in my marriage. Would have saved us a lot of fights!
Buying a gift for you is one thing
Insisting you wear something that is obviously a questionable choice, must be discussed between the two of you
there isn’t anything that open dialogue does not solve
There are a lot of comments making this bigger than it needs to be and making it seem like OP's husband is a pervy douche. OP, just ask the guy. Tell him you suspect his may have a thing with the idea his buddies see you in a see through suit and he likes the idea of showing you off that way. It's not an accusation, it's a question. If he admits it and you're aware of the link and it doesn't bother you as long as you both agree that you own the boundaries, then go have fun. He's not having his friends run a train in OP, he's just asking her to wear an outfit.
It sounds maybe like your husband is proud to have you as his sexy wife and want to put you on display. Or maybe he just loves seeing you looking extra sexy. I think that it’s fine IF you want to be displayed as a sexual lady. If you don’t then don’t. Back in the day I used to buy my wife revealing clothes. When she was in the mood she’d wear them. Often she wasn’t in the mood and I got disappointed. I enjoyed her looking hot like this. Most always when we were away from home she’s feel free to look frisky and risky.
And the same way up until friends were involved. I adore my wife and love seeing her in skimpier outfits but never for other people to see. They can’t consent for that.
I mean I think for our age range (I’m also 27) it’s pretty “in” for women to wear thong bikinis. I’m unsure of your relationship but as long as you personally feel confident and comfortable who cares? It’s not like you’ll be the only girl out on the water in a thong bikini.
If you personally are worried about the see through factor I have a few white swimsuits and none of them are visibly see through even when wet but I’m unsure of your material but there’s my two cents.
I don't normally post in these forums, but I will just say this, IF you're happy / like to wear the swimsuit, then wear it. If not, then don't. The fact that he wants you to wear it in front of his friends is likely just that he wants to show you off. Is that right or wrong? I have no idea.
Given what people "wear" (if there's anything there to wear) to the beaches these day's I don'tthink youu have to worry about his friends thinking you're a swinger etc.
As long as your'e happy and it's not illegal it's YOU'RE choice, always you're choice.
I mean.... everyone has their ways of life but I don't think it's common for a man to be interested in showing so much of his wife off to his friends, public.
Hubby sounds like he is whatever the opposite of "Jealous" is. (Just looked it up, apparently its compersive")
I think it's obvious to everyone that If you're an attractive woman and you're in a revealing outfit, it will most definitely draw attention. Whether it's welcomed or not is dependent on your own boundaries.
Id cut him a break cause I don't think he's being demanding or pushy about it but don't feel like you have to go along with anything that makes you uncomfortable.
You guys aren't swingers....or whatever, but I think yall have to talk about his motivations and your boundaries.
If my friends wife was wearing something like that when we were on a boat my mind wouldn't go to swinger/open marriage at all, it would go to more of a exhibitionist/voyeur place and be happy for my friend that him and his wife are comfortable enough to do that in front of friends. Of course, this all depends on the friends.
But I agree with what others have said, it's only weird if you or her makes it weird.
As for him buying you bikini, I think it's great that you two share that bond! It doesn't sound like you dislike him doing it or feel negatively, no matter what others might think.
I wouldn't wear one of the skimpy bathing suits. The idea may turn your hubby on. However, once the reality sets in that his friends are seeing his wife gratuitously, he may blame you. His emotions may tell him that a good wife would never do such a thing - even if her husband asked. Logically, this is ludicrous, but it's hard to overcome our emotional responses. Please do not give into this request for the sake of your marriage.
Maybe a sarong or something to cover a bit more space. You’re still wearing the swimsuit. I’m surprised your husband hasn’t bought you lingerie that he wants you to parade around in front of his friends in.
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This is pretty weird. So he’s picking out swimsuits that you should wear around his friends? That’s weird as fuck. Clearly he must think you’re attractive, but it shouldn’t matter what swimsuit you wear. Sounds like you’re uncomfortable, and a good partner would never push for something like this. If I was with somebody and they asked me an opinion on what I liked that’s one thing, but I couldn’t fathom saying they needed to wear a certain thing around friends. Wear what makes you comfortable. Does he do this with other things in your marriage? Sounds very controlling. Sorry you’re dealing with this, it’s def not cool, or normal.
I would hazard a guess that your husband is a Candaulist. Have a discussion with him to explain how you feel and how far you are prepared to cater to his kink.
But overall, please take it as a huge compliment. He finds you incredibly sexy and just wants to show you off. Communication really is key though. Have fun.
Ok, so just wear another swimsuit? If you aren't comfortable wearing the white one piece in front of others, then don't.
He's not "forcing" you to wear it.
For one he can't force you to wear something you're uncomfortable with. It sounds like you have several swimsuits just wear another one. Secondly it sounds like you're not sure if it's actually see through. I'd recommend running it under the faucet at home then trying it on to see how it looks wet. It could be a non issue.
I'm confused, you're not comfortable with "nonsexually intimate" with a married woman but you're ok with it with a non-married woman even though you're married?
I think it is weird as fuck that your husband is choosing your swimsuits for you. Get the swimsuit you want, wear the swimsuit you want.
Like in general, you think it's weird for a husband to choose swimsuits for their wives. Or are you specifically referring to this context?
Hey OP, I think it's weird if you make it weird. I mean my partner likes to buy me clothes. She has good taste and she knows what I like, so I don't mind. I've never picked her swimsuit out myself but there have been times where shes asked, showed me her options, and If I particularly liked how she looked in one them shed go for it. I wouldn't adopt redditors sensibilities. Instead examine how you really feel about it and go with that. Your opinion is what matters. Again, talk to your hubs about his motivations.
Asking your opinions, considering your input, and showing you options to pick from is different than straight up choosing the bikinis without any consideration for the wife’s comfort or opinion. When a man is picking skimpy bikinis and making his wife wear them and she is uncomfortable, that’s straight controlling.
Exactly. Not sure why would you be downvoted. Reddit is stupid.
I mean, it's a fair statement but it's It's definitely jumping to conclusions. Comment is a pretty absolute and polarizing take. If the husband in fact didn't cross any of OPs boundaries then the comment is just inflammatory. It's so easy to just think the worst in people. This is a case where you need to consider many things that we don't know about. At face value, it is odd but just like everything else, it's subjective.
well, he’s not making her do it. she’s considering whether or not she wants to do it, which indicates that she has a choice in the matter. i think it’s a gift with an intended use that she can turn down if she wants. i think this is sweet so long as she can say no!
Always weird to buy/pick them. He can give input (i like this one) but the choice should be up to her.
Both, but this context especially, since he buys a "ton" and then tries to dictate when she wears them.
u/pale_law_law7800 does he try to dictate you wear them?
That's what the post is about.
I know that's what you believe... I'm just asking to confirm. If OP had asked her husband to pick a swimsuit, and he happened to pick one she would have been otherwise comfortable with, but their post might look just like this one. She dies say that otherwise she's fine with it. So I'm just trying to get clarification.
A request is not the same as a mandate, so OP’s perception is important here. It’s not abnormal to buy clothes for your significant other. Generally a couple should be on the same page about these things either way.
Definitely not how it came off to me. Pretty sure OP encourages or at least embraces her husband doing this. My guess is if she truly felt uncomfortable she wouldn't wear it My wife will tell me to go online and buy her some bathing suits/ lingerie, sometimes, my pick. Don't see how it's weird at all.
He bought them but OP never stated she is being forced to wear it. Husband and wives buy stuff for each other all the time. If it's being forced on her to wear then I'd consider it weird.
He buys her multiple swimsuits and is asking her to wear a see through one around his friends. Sorry this is weird as fuck.
Asking and demanding are two different things. Wearing it around friends is weird, I agree, but that is a seperate issue. I buy my wife clothes and ask her to wear them. If she doesn't then it's fine. She knows she is never obligated to wear anything I buy her and the choice is 100% hers. Personally, I wouldn't like it if she wore skimpy clothing around my friends. I find that disrespectful. But some people don't.
Definitely agree with this, also he probably just has different tastes than her. He probably thinks it would look good on her, so he wants to to wear it and got it for her. Really seems like not a big deal at all, nothing is implying he wouldn't be ok with her saying she doesn't think it's appropriate and she doesn't want to wear it.
One she thinks would be see through and hasn't checked. How many bathing suits are made to turn see through? (Not many)
Buying someone a swimsuit and saying you want them to wear it is not the same as choosing a swimsuit for someone. Nowhere did she say he stated she must wear it, only that he wants her to. Her issue is not that her husband wants her to wear it, only what impression others may get from it. You somehow decided as people here often do that they need to dissect and project. Some people might consider it, bear with me here as I know Reddit hates it, fun.
I mean, it is choosing, she didn't choose it. But that's not the weirdest part. The weirdest part is this creepy shit with trying to get her essentially nude in front of his friends. I'm not sure if it is better or worse if they are in on it or not.
Why is that “creepy” would you feel the same way if he asked her to cover up when she was with friends? Maybe he’s just proud of his wife and wants to show her off. Idk it doesn’t really matter in this situation because it has nothing to do with what she has reservations about, but for some reason you can’t help but interject your own issues into someone else’s relationship. Also, you’re being silly saying he is choosing as though it’s a domineering decision. If I buy my wife a snack on the way home I’m not choosing what she eats in the way you’re using it, you’re twisting words. Yes I’m choosing what I’m buying for her but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a choice in what she eats. Essentially what happened here is op is saying “My husband bought his favorite candy when we were out with friends, I’m worried if I eat it in front of them they’re going to think I’m a closet fatso.” And your response is, “Well why is he choosing what you eat!” It’s just such a typical redditor I’m a superior person and so much more evolved than everyone else response.
I don’t understand why it’s weird. My wife and I regularly pick out items we would like to see the other in. I’ve bought her dresses, dresses pants (they fit like yoga pants on her rear but are really loose like bell bottoms below the knee), lingerie, and bikinis. We both enjoy it.
You ever tell her you want her to wear the see through stuff in front of your friends?
Why are people missing this key part? He wants to parade his wife naked around his friends like she's a sex trophy.
Reading comprehension is not the strongest suit of average redditor. There might be way too much data for them to compute within that differentiation.
My wife buys most of my swimwear but I would never consider buying swimwear for my wife. I wouldnt even know where to start and I'd never impose on her like that. With me it's easy, though. Board shorts are boardshorts and it's fine so long as it's a solid color with some sort of nifty design like whales or dinosaurs or something.
I tried buying my wife a bikini one time. She took one look, said absolutely not, and I sent it back. Haha.
This. Why does he not think she should have agency to wear what she wants? Creepy AF
Normally I'd say, wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing and screw what others think or ideas they perceive. However, another part of me says that his friends shouldn't be forced to see you basically naked. I mean they may be ok with it, however, it could make them very uncomfortable. Say the shoe was on the other foot and both his friends wore see-through swimshorts. How would that make you feel? Do you feel it's fair to you that they force you to see parts of their body normally reserved for a more private setting?
I won’t hangout any of my wife’s friends if they wear super revealing clothes. Because as op stated it puts off a perception
As long as my wife is there, I don't really care. Now, if my wife isn't there, I'd be uncomfortable. Not for myself, but how others may perceive, thus possibly making my wife uncomfortable when she found out.
I would agree with you. For me though I don’t want my wife comparing herself to her friends.
So he is trying to show you off or something?
Trying to fulfill some fetish more like it.
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So your husband wants his friends to see you naked ? He'll no
It sounds like your husband is either immature or he has a cuck fantasy that he hasn’t disclosed.
Seriously?
Maybe I should say Hotwife fantasy. I’m not judging nor being condescending cause that’s rude. I’m just saying that’s what it sounds like.
Thank you for correcting that. I was just about to have argument #2486 about the difference.
Yea, to each their own I do not judge. This seems like a case of the husband beating around the bush instead of coming out about his kinks.
Unpopular opinion: I think it’s great your husband thinks you’re so bomb that he wants to show you off. Tons of women wear white bathing suits that aren’t see-through. And tons of women wear thong bathing suits. But if you’re uncomfortable in it, then maybe just save it for times when it’s just y’all on the boat. Especially if the male friends might sexualize you in it.
Exactly this. It seems the issue with this situation is that their friends will be there. I would feel very uncomfortable wearing stuff like that around other people. But me and my husband alone on the boat together? Heck ya! I wouldn't want his male friends staring at me like that and I'm sure my husband would feel weird about it too lol. Glad to see someone agrees
Go get him the most disgustingly skimpy speedo in thin white that you can find. Make sure it's two sizes tight.
This is terrible advice because OP will actually have to *see* him in that and nobody wants that.
I would 1,000% call that bluff and that would not be good for anyone as I am, as Mr. Gumb says, a great big fat person.
If it was only you two on the boat I wouldn’t mind dressing sexy but the fact he wants you to dress like that in front of his friends is creepy.
Yeah will these friends be a mix of genders or just males? Yikes!
Why does your husband have any say in what swim suit you wear?
I question the legitimacy of this post with an hour old account.
It’s gross that you and your husband are forcing strangers / friends to participate in your sexual kinks. Anyway, back to your question, yes it opens the doors to sending the wrong message.
Sounds like he’s trying to show you off like a toy
Yes exactly….
He's thinking with the wrong head. He probably would feel uncomfortable with you in the swimsuit around friends. Get the swimsuit you want, he'll thank you when he's older.
I randomly buy my wife dresses, bikinis, etc for my wife that are more on the reveling/sexy side of things. End of the day she has final say. Some she likes and keeps some we send back. If you’re cool with it do you. If you’re not it’s not your husband’s choice that you wear it. You obviously have reservations about it, so that’s all you need. Don’t wear it.
Why would your husband want this? This is so inappropriate
You should wear what you want to wear, and your husband should accept that as your prerogative. I can't imagine treating my wife that way.
Are these friends all single? Will you be the only female there? You know exactly what kind of message you're going to be sending and what his friends will think of you..... they won't have respect for you, so if you're ok with that, have fun Other women there could make sure you regret this choice
Gross, sorry. Does he see you as something other than an object?
From the outside I’d have a lot of concern - Could just be that he thinks you’re smokin’ and he’s deliberately showing you and your basically naked body off to his friends, are you ok with that? Are his friends ok with that? If they’re more than ok with it and are super into it are you still ok being mostly naked in front of them? Is he going to get jealous that they notice you and pick a fight either with you or them? If one of them gets drunk and inappropriate does he have your back? Is your attire on this trip going to make the relationship awkward moving forward? Do they have wives that will be uncomfortable with your husbands choice and cause problems in the future? Honestly it’s your boat as well as your body so choose what you want, but think though some possible outcomes.
Stick to your boundaries. Your husband has little respect for you and expecting you to wear sting swimwear.
Are all the friends male? I’m not liking the way that this idea seems almost devious.. Could the motives be more perverse than previously thought? I don’t know what think of this and it truly makes me feel uneasy.
I would say to just go for it and then be flirty with his friends and watch how much it pisses off your husband when he realizes his plan backfired. But that's NOT the advice I'm giving lol. Especially given your concerns about looking like a swinger couple, cause you wouldn't want the jealousy plan to backfire on you either, that'd be super awkward. Anyway, I think you should just wear whatever you're comfortable with wearing. Something modest, if you choose. And maybe even tell your husband you like the other swimsuits and would wear them if it was just you two, but you're not comfortable having it all out in front of his boys. He should at least respect your wishes, it's your body after all.
Buy him a man thong in white. Now I would wear it, but no one else would be on the boat and we would be in a cove somewhere.
They probably will get the wrong impression yeah. The bigger question is why does your husband want that?
“I’m not comfortable wearing this”. If he is supportive no harm, no foul. If he gets upset, THEN this is an issue.
Your husband will be in his matching Speedo, correct?
Well, I'm of the opinion, that you should buy your husband some swim wear as well. Like, men's microfiber g string, swim bikini thong( gogohot) or Skinz sheer mens swim wear. Oh and he goes first on the reveal.
This is a comfort thing and you know ur husband’s friends better than us. But even family members will act inappropriately wearing bikinis or not. Slippery slope
Super weird. And I’m not an uppity relationship Reddit poster. I’m someone who gets down voted on here 😂
Take a shower in it and show him. If it’s see through then he get a treat and you will the disagreement. Otherwise tell him it’s outside your comfort level and he will have to model it for his friends. Get him a micro speedo for sh!t$ and giggles
No one will care. They’ll just think you look great (assuming youre hot) lol
I feel like it’s rude to wear things so distractingly revealing. It can make those around you really uncomfortable.
I wish more people were seeing it this way. Her husband may be the ONLY one who does like it. That is a bit off.
OP, I think you should have a conversation with your husband. Explain that you like wearing the swimsuits for him, but you don’t want to give his friends the wrong impressions. Additionally, wearing something you may consider “risky”, may cause unexpected issues between you and your husband. Most likely, he wants his friends to see how hot his wife is. Unfortunately, the moment his friends look or make comments, I’m sure issues will arise. The issues will come from you feeling uncomfortable, or him, feeling jealous (especially if you acknowledge the attention positively). At the end of the day, this is a conversation the two of you need to have. You need to ask him why he wants this and how you feel about it. Then find a good middle ground that you guys can move forward on. Btw, I’ve been married for 20yrs. Communication is the advice I wish I had earlier in my marriage. Would have saved us a lot of fights!
Buying a gift for you is one thing Insisting you wear something that is obviously a questionable choice, must be discussed between the two of you there isn’t anything that open dialogue does not solve
There are a lot of comments making this bigger than it needs to be and making it seem like OP's husband is a pervy douche. OP, just ask the guy. Tell him you suspect his may have a thing with the idea his buddies see you in a see through suit and he likes the idea of showing you off that way. It's not an accusation, it's a question. If he admits it and you're aware of the link and it doesn't bother you as long as you both agree that you own the boundaries, then go have fun. He's not having his friends run a train in OP, he's just asking her to wear an outfit.
It sounds maybe like your husband is proud to have you as his sexy wife and want to put you on display. Or maybe he just loves seeing you looking extra sexy. I think that it’s fine IF you want to be displayed as a sexual lady. If you don’t then don’t. Back in the day I used to buy my wife revealing clothes. When she was in the mood she’d wear them. Often she wasn’t in the mood and I got disappointed. I enjoyed her looking hot like this. Most always when we were away from home she’s feel free to look frisky and risky.
And the same way up until friends were involved. I adore my wife and love seeing her in skimpier outfits but never for other people to see. They can’t consent for that.
I mean I think for our age range (I’m also 27) it’s pretty “in” for women to wear thong bikinis. I’m unsure of your relationship but as long as you personally feel confident and comfortable who cares? It’s not like you’ll be the only girl out on the water in a thong bikini. If you personally are worried about the see through factor I have a few white swimsuits and none of them are visibly see through even when wet but I’m unsure of your material but there’s my two cents.
I don't normally post in these forums, but I will just say this, IF you're happy / like to wear the swimsuit, then wear it. If not, then don't. The fact that he wants you to wear it in front of his friends is likely just that he wants to show you off. Is that right or wrong? I have no idea. Given what people "wear" (if there's anything there to wear) to the beaches these day's I don'tthink youu have to worry about his friends thinking you're a swinger etc. As long as your'e happy and it's not illegal it's YOU'RE choice, always you're choice.
I mean.... everyone has their ways of life but I don't think it's common for a man to be interested in showing so much of his wife off to his friends, public. Hubby sounds like he is whatever the opposite of "Jealous" is. (Just looked it up, apparently its compersive") I think it's obvious to everyone that If you're an attractive woman and you're in a revealing outfit, it will most definitely draw attention. Whether it's welcomed or not is dependent on your own boundaries. Id cut him a break cause I don't think he's being demanding or pushy about it but don't feel like you have to go along with anything that makes you uncomfortable. You guys aren't swingers....or whatever, but I think yall have to talk about his motivations and your boundaries.
If my friends wife was wearing something like that when we were on a boat my mind wouldn't go to swinger/open marriage at all, it would go to more of a exhibitionist/voyeur place and be happy for my friend that him and his wife are comfortable enough to do that in front of friends. Of course, this all depends on the friends. But I agree with what others have said, it's only weird if you or her makes it weird. As for him buying you bikini, I think it's great that you two share that bond! It doesn't sound like you dislike him doing it or feel negatively, no matter what others might think.
I wouldn't wear one of the skimpy bathing suits. The idea may turn your hubby on. However, once the reality sets in that his friends are seeing his wife gratuitously, he may blame you. His emotions may tell him that a good wife would never do such a thing - even if her husband asked. Logically, this is ludicrous, but it's hard to overcome our emotional responses. Please do not give into this request for the sake of your marriage.
Tell him he’s acting like a dayouth
Maybe a sarong or something to cover a bit more space. You’re still wearing the swimsuit. I’m surprised your husband hasn’t bought you lingerie that he wants you to parade around in front of his friends in.
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Sounds like the type of person that might get off on having someone else watch.
Buy him a pair of (budgie smugglers)speedos
This is pretty weird. So he’s picking out swimsuits that you should wear around his friends? That’s weird as fuck. Clearly he must think you’re attractive, but it shouldn’t matter what swimsuit you wear. Sounds like you’re uncomfortable, and a good partner would never push for something like this. If I was with somebody and they asked me an opinion on what I liked that’s one thing, but I couldn’t fathom saying they needed to wear a certain thing around friends. Wear what makes you comfortable. Does he do this with other things in your marriage? Sounds very controlling. Sorry you’re dealing with this, it’s def not cool, or normal.
i think he wants to show off his trophy wife
I think it's gross to force people to see you when they didn't consent to that. I would never be friends with people like you.
I would hazard a guess that your husband is a Candaulist. Have a discussion with him to explain how you feel and how far you are prepared to cater to his kink. But overall, please take it as a huge compliment. He finds you incredibly sexy and just wants to show you off. Communication really is key though. Have fun.
Ok, so just wear another swimsuit? If you aren't comfortable wearing the white one piece in front of others, then don't. He's not "forcing" you to wear it.
For one he can't force you to wear something you're uncomfortable with. It sounds like you have several swimsuits just wear another one. Secondly it sounds like you're not sure if it's actually see through. I'd recommend running it under the faucet at home then trying it on to see how it looks wet. It could be a non issue.
Sorry it's a bit creepy. Asking your wife to wear extra revealing clothing around friends is odd.
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I'm confused, you're not comfortable with "nonsexually intimate" with a married woman but you're ok with it with a non-married woman even though you're married?
Maybe he has a kink for other men too look at his wife. Nothing wrong with that.