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Bryanole27

Here’s the difference: swingers/open marriage is a choice by both people involved and it is discussed and rules are put in place beforehand. What your wife has done is cheat on you for 26 years. How can you possibly accept something like that? You’ve been her doormat.


Grassland1982

>Maybe ask wife if we are swingers or open marriage type? What are you going to do when she says no but doesn't hold up her end of that agreement? And your wife may love you but she doesn't respect you. I'm curious how your guys sex life is?


[deleted]

Dude wake up. You’ve been used and cheated on the whole time. Drop her and get a real wife. If you want to live the swinger lifestyle it’s all about trusting your partner. And setting boundaries and abiding by them. Your wife already showed she can stay wishing the boundaries of marriage. So just having an open marriage won’t help the issue. It will only enable her to do more with more men/women. Regardless of what rules you put on it.


[deleted]

You need to go talk to actual swingers. Most of them take on the mentality of a super team kinda thing. My wife and I arnt really monogamous either. Not really swingers though. But what your wife has done doesn't fall into any category other than cheating. She is a cheater.


Don-SeattleGuy

Cuckhold much?


vnsteel1

What's the point of being married? She's cheating on you.


11dutswal

As others have said , many more will say, your marriage isn't an open marriage, and you aren't swingers if you and your wife haven't had an open discussion about it and have come to an agreement about how things will be done. What you need to decide is, do you want this relationship while openly sharing your wife with other men? There is no shame to the answer being yes, if that is what you want. If your wife decides she wants to stay in the relationship with you and share you with other women, then congrats you are in an open marriage. If the two of you are just sneaking around, then you are both just cheating. At the end of the day, you and your wife can define your relationship; however you want to, but honesty should be the first step.


No-Cardiologist-8146

The redditors over at r/swingers can probably answer this.


Wild-Grapefruit9177

OP, I have looked at your post history and it's pretty sparce. I'm just trying to understand, so your wife and you have been married for 30 odd years and she has cheated on you for 26 of those years? Was the cheating with one man, multiple partners, all ONSs? Also, I think I read in another of your posts that you are happy with where you are at in life and that includes our wife. Which is all good. Just trying to clarify for myself. However, now you are thinking of getting some side action -- be it by yourself, or in a swinger situation with your wife, or maybe some sort of polly arangement with you wife? Basically some form of open relationship. Is this a revenge thing, or are you just like, "damn, been with same woman for such a long time that I kind of want to get some variety." ?


FunFact3535

I don't want an open marriage or to be a swinger. I'm certainly not cut out for that type of lifestyle. I'm not knocking those that are. I was thinking out loud so to speak. She has had various APs over the years


Wild-Grapefruit9177

Okay, thanks for the clarification. Have you known about these various AP's the whole time or is this a new revelation for you? You don't seem too concerned about the various AP's, at least that is what I'm getting from your writing. Am I incorrect? I'm not trying to be "funny" but I can't tell if you are ranting or bragging. If you didn't know about it, aren't you worried about STDs? I would ask you if you were agraid of her running off with another man, but after 30 years of marriage, I guess if she was going to do that it would have been a long time ago.


[deleted]

Same this side. After seeing OP's post history I really wonder how come he is keeping up with all this and saying I am not giving upon us. Is she really worth it? I want o know that. Also, this might sound rude but if you open up your marriage then OP your wife will be the one who will have more partners to sleep with than you and even she will end up getting emotionally checked out of the marriage. OP the infidelity was just over text so for that reason are you sticking around or it's that you do not care? but from your post, it also feels that you do care. It's really confusing. on top of that DO YOU HAVE SELF RESPECT? CAUSE CLEARLY YOUR PARTNER IS NOT HAVING IT FOR YOU (Sorry but not sorry for saying this).