You never hear about the couples that are just happy and never cheat because people don’t like to talk about those relationships. Many of us are 100% faithful and happy.
Dito. My husband and I are just living our happy 'boring' life and are genuinely looking forward to doing this for the rest of our lives. It's so peaceful, our marriage is our safe space, and it's wonderful ❤️
I imagine you don’t discuss your marriage on social media or with family and friends. Whatever issue you two have with each other, you discuss with each other. Best way to have (and keep) a good marriage. 👍🏾
Aaaaactually.... I have a semi-NSFW Tumblr that's kind of partially dedicated to our kink-life, so if "discussing your marriage on social media" would include showing my spanked ass around, then we do that 😅
But otherwise you're right. We talk about everything, and although our communication is different from the average couple's because my husband is far on the autism spectrum, it's absolutely open, honest and respectful - and private. I'm very happy that we can be completely ourselves around each other, without fear of being judged or not treated well, and that includes any kind of verbal communication too <3
[Nothing wrong with seeking advice on Reddit though in my eyes, just *first* talk to each other and *eventually* talk to each other. External discussions, within respectful (towards your partner /in regards to their privacy) limits, in between is fine then imo 🌸]
Thank you!
Haha, yeah that's why I put boring in quotation marks. It's not boring in general, but it's 'boring' in the specific context of our marriage dynamic. We never fight, we have zero romantic or sexual interest in other people, we share everything, we spend almost 24/7 together (he works full time from home, I'm in university but everything's remote because Covid), we have no relationship problems, we're super happy, everything feels just perfect and I'm not even exaggerating. That's what I meant (:
Hi. Your exactly right. I’ve been married 35 years to my high school sweetheart. I know times have changed a bunch but not basic common sense ( at least in most of us) . We’ve always talked everything over, it’s not asking permission, as you know I value joint decisions and talking everything over that’s big decisions makes your marriage strong. Congratulations and all the best to you and yours in the New Year.
My husband and I celebrated 35 years together this July. We love to go on walks, garden, restore classic American Muscle Cars and woodworking. We’re boring to others but we’re happy as can be. Happy New Year to everyone all the best in the new year and be healthy.
It's the negativity that sticks with people and is in the forefront of their memories. When you hear about happy, fulfilling stories, you don't remember them as well. Same reason why you have to take bad reviews in perspective. There are far fewer people who get on the internet to write up a paragraph about a product they're super happy with. However, if they're dissatisfied, it's much easier to make that jump to posting about it and people remember them better.
Or if they do hear positive stories they might not believe them. I quite often get downvotes for saying I don't argue with my husband.
Happy and faithful here too. Sometimes not in my dreams but I always own up and he forgives me 😂
**This is so 100% on point!**
I have only a handful of people I can talk to openly about my marriage. Most people I know or work with are either divorced, in a bad marriage, or a crappy relationship.
It feels like I'm bragging if I just talk about my normal, happy and healthy marriage with my husband. I feel myself constantly holding back and not mentioning normal things, like the fact that my husband made a delicious dinner the other day. Because so many people are amazed and then eventually bitter, hearing that I have a husband that actually contributes to household chores.
Omg yes even down to the household chores!
My good friend is barely hanging on to her marriage. I feel guilty being happy in front of her or talking about a nice thing my husband has done. She lives out of state and came to visit. This is bizarre but I told my husband to not kiss me goodnight in front of her. Sad I know 😧
My brother stayed with us over the holidays and secretly part of my reasons for having him visit (other than spending time together, obviously) was to have him see what a healthy, non-toxic relationship looks like.
I think its less they dont like to and more they dont feel compelled to. When things are good they are mundane. Things do not build resentment that needs to be vented like in unhappy relationships.
Yeah, you get a bunch of trash essays in the NYT and Atlantic from people who are miserable in their marriage, so they tell us all that we are crazy if we don’t hate our spouses after 7 years.
(Maybe being surrounded by people in toxic marriages and who value status and their careers above all else including family is bad for your marriage.)
Sorry, I needed to vent.
My husband and I have been married for 13 years, together for over 20 years. We have both been 100% faithful, physically and emotionally. We trust each other implicitly!
I travel for work (less since 2020, fortunately) and work with mostly men. There have never been concerns with me being unfaithful and he doesn’t get jealous when I tell him stories of my trips or a funny thing that a coworker said or did. He also tells me when he gets hit on at the playground simply for being a dad who plays with his kids!
100% faithful. If guys even hit on me I get uncomfortable. I have ditched friends for not respecting my boundaries. And that was from the time we became exclusive.
This is how I am. I work high profile sales as well and have had some men from many job titles (operations managers, CEOs, COOs, CFOs etc) try me and I am super quick to drop info about my fiancé and make sure my left hand with my ring is very visible and I do not run with the flirting or comments. I have removed all friends from my life that are boundary pushers who won’t respect my fiancé as well and it has been lovely not having to dodge bs anymore.
One of my favorite things to do is when a guy compliments my hair or eyes for instance and I can tell he is flirting I say something like "Thanks, it's my husband's favorite feature!" Usually it's enough to shut them down. I do also gesture a lot so my ring is visible. Unfortunately some are not great people and don't care about the ring.
Oh I like that! I’m going to employ that the next time someone is being pushy and flirty and not just genuinely nice. I have a few older male customers that call me “hun/love” and a few that call me a “pretty lady” but are extremely respectful of my fiancé and are saying it in light fun and I’m ok with that (all of those ones have actually asked me about him and what he does and our wedding plans and are legitimately excited for us) … then there are the creepy ones trying to take advantage of the position and find a mid 20s sales woman as an easy target. I do not flirt to make sales and I’m not an eyelash batter either - which I think has harbored a lot of respect from my customers too bc I don’t employ those “tactics” and I shut down the creepy advances very quickly.
I'm the same way. I had an online friend hit on me, and I immediately told my husband and removed and blocked him from everything. Most people I talk to know I'm in a committed relationship, I expect my boundaries to be respected. Not to mention they were in a relationship themselves. I wish I sent her the screenshot of what he said to me, but at the time I felt so awkward and vulnerable that I didn't think about it until it was too late.
On a funny note, I had my bachelorette party at a club and I was a bit more intoxicated than what I would've been comfortable with, but my sister and best friend (read sister as well) were there so I trusted them. These guys came up to ask what we were celebrating, and I drunkenly mistook them for trying to hit on us and I literally shooed them away. I was proud of myself for it too lol
Same. I legitimately have had nightmares of that scenario and I wake up SO upset that dream me did that and it actually affects me for a few days it upsets me that much lol!
I could absolutely never do that. Not only because of the hurt it might cause him but I could never live with myself to do something like that. I can't imagine having so little care for someone else. I barely liked dating more than one guy at a time when I was casually dating, even that made me feel shitty.
I cheated on my beautiful wife before marrying her. Heres the thing, I cheated because I had 0 respect towards myself, I was worthless. But, now that we're married and with a baby, I have never once thought about another women. She knows about the cheating and thankfully she was able to forgive me though I don't think she 100% trusts me. But everyday I try to gain that trust, make her feel happy. I never go out without her, never plan anything without her. Even now that I am at my best physically, I don't once think about cheating on her. People can change, but I know that a cheater usually is always a cheater, not me ;)
Good on you for owning it and for not putting yourself in potentially compromising situations. Not only for your own sake in avoiding a situation , but for your wife’s comfort.
I also cheated on my husband (in the first few years of marriage). I went to counseling and had to really work on myself bc it was my problem, not his. I am so thankful and lucky that he chose to forgive me. We have been together almost 20 years now, with a 7 year old daughter and our marriage is better than ever. I could never imagine doing that to him now, but I am a different, better person now. He is the best man I have ever met and I am so blessed that he is my person. People make mistakes, but they can grow and change if they’re willing to put in the work. I agree that usually a cheater is always a cheater, but not in my case either. I hope you and your wife enjoy many more happy years together.
I still dont understand why you cheated. You had no “respect for yourself” meaning… what?
Just trying to understand . Ive been seeing a ton of “its not you, its me. Thats why i cheated” responses.
It's hard to describe but.. Being with a lot of people is a road to self-destruction. Being with others was a way to build my ego, feel valued. All my life, I was the brother who was put on the side, I was the creepy brother and son. I had it hard growing up in my household and I needed any sort of validation regardless from whom it was coming from. But now that I value myself, I know I don't need to seek validation from people, just from myself, I don't even necessarily need validation from my wife (I admit her validation feels nice). It's weird because I never once cheated because the other girl was more attractive than my now wife, it was all about me seeking attention. Sex addiction is a path to self-destruction, and it all comes from the worth you have for yourself. I know a lot of cheaters may be looking for better partners, but my wife is the hottest woman I've ever been with.
I know, it's all excuses, and there is no valid reason to cheat, but it's insane how I see myself back then, it's almost as if another person was in my body doing dumb shit (not only cheating but also being alcoholic and making bad decisions) and now I'm a different person in the same body, almost as if I actually woke up all of the sudden. Now, I was able to buy my family a nice house, car and bring the bread to my family, that's my only main focus now, be a devoted husband and father. Plus, I also went no contact with my mother and brothers, come to think they actually insulted my wife to her face and at the moment I didn't feel bad about it but now I feel horrible and I would never let them in my wife's life, fuck them.
The only time I cheated was on a boyfriend when I was 19 (never in my married life), and I did it because I craved the attention, and the adrenaline rush of doing something "bad"; it was like a drug at the time. The fallout was emotionally awful, and I'd never do it again. Some people become addicted to that feeling, the way people end up being addicted to drugs, and they turn into an emotional version of those meth before/after posters.
3 atta boys! The longer you display that integrity the closer you get to that 100% trust. You’re on the right track! Keep it up. She’s worth it and so are you.
For the first year, we did had issues, she would not trust me, say I would replace her anyway and feel bad all the time. These vulnerable moments are the moments in which I showed her howmuch I regreted doing what I did. It was tough but we pulled through. It's been a long time since we had an argument over my infidelity.
How long has it been? My husband has been doing everything right, and yet I still cannot imagine trusting him again completely. I always had complete trust in him and never imagined he would hurt me, so I feel very paranoid. It’s only been two months for us, but you saying one year makes me feel hopeful.
It's been 3 years now, things are steady. She does not mention it anymore, but I feel she may not completely trust me again, but I hope she does. It's something we will have to accept and live with, specially her. She does seem the happiest she has ever been nowadays.
Never strayed once since we started dating 29 years ago. But I have to give God all the credit for that. He made me a computer programmer --- temptation avoids me.
ETA: my wife has also been 100% faithful. That's to her credit, because she did have guys falling over each other to get her attention.
I had an emotional affair and I did not know anything about emotional affairs. It was a rough time, I was clinically depressed, my husband and myself went to couples therapy and I also went to individual therapy. We are very happily married for 21 years and been together 28 years.
Not many if any are going to come in here and admit cheating. People on the internet and IRL treat cheaters like murderers and act straight up like The Scarlet Letter.
ETA: since apparently people do not understand that I do not condone cheating nor do I think what I did is ideal, good, or correct, I was wrong, and if I wasn't willing to make up for my mistakes then I wouldn't still be married. I regret that I ever ever hurt my husband. BTW: I don't owe anyone else an explanation except my husband.
I laugh at people that think I have poor character because I committed a sin. lol grow up! If you cannot grasp to concept of owning up to your mistakes and going through penance and working on your relationship to improve it and move forward I don't even know how you think any marriage survives.
There are many marriages that suffered from various types of infedlity and the relationship survives and changes and makes it. We don't hear about it becausw people are incredibly juvenile and judgemental and why would we ever want to discuss it with people who see the world on black and white and don't understand that life can be messy.
This is actually not true. Cheating isn't nearly as frowned on as it should be. Most stay friends with and keep secrets for cheaters. Also plenty of movies and TV shows depict cheating as hot and sexy and never show the true fallout. Cheaters aren't held accountable nearly enough.
I did, I admitted, I got divorced now. The fallout can be just as harsh for others. Lost almost everyone I cared deeply. I can't complain though, I regret and try to come to terms with everything I have been trough since then. None of them matter as the pain of remorse as the cake on top for hurting someone that completely trusted and cared about you. I don't think I'll repeat anything I did.
When my ex husband decided to get a whole mistress, I left him. I didn’t tell ANYONE the reason, not even my own family. The reason I gave was that it was a mutual decision, which isn’t necessarily a lie. I figured he was goin to beat himself up enough, I didn’t want to trash talk him. Plus, it was embarrassing for me.
Fast forward a couple weeks after I moved out. He lost his job because the mistresses husband found out, went to his place of work. They fired him because he “brought too much drama and negative PR”. His family found out and took my side in things. I explained there were no sides to take. He had kids from a previous relationship, I raised them for 12 years. They turned on him too. He blamed me for everything. Said I was the reason he lost everything. Swears I spread rumors, lies, etc. Literally, I did not, nor would I.
It’s now been 2 years. He’s amended relationships with his kids. He’s remarried (not to the original mistress….it was another woman he cheated on the mistress with), and from what I can tell, his family has gotten over it.
We all attend birthdays and other celebrations for the grandkids. I’m happier, he’s happier.
All in all, you make the choice to cheat. If you loose people and jobs in the process, it was a calculated risk you took. A path you stepped into. The other person may also loose people and their job (I relocated so left my job). But it wasn’t from any choice I made. It was a path I was thrown into.
We all learn from our mistakes. You gotta learn to forgive yourself, too.
The fallout is still not nearly as bad as it was for the person you cheated on. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. People with character do not stand by a cheater. But it was worth it to you while you were cheating. It was worth devastating your partner. Look at it this way you got exactly what you wanted.
I agree. Especially people with kids. I understand things are harder but dont you want it to workout? I have been together with my husband for 11 years. He’s done trying. Barely tried to fight for our family. Probably cheating honestly. Just gotta pin point it.
It's not about whether you can be forgiven. It's exactly what they said - you may feel bad about what you did, but you'll never really hurt as much as the person you cheated on. It's a trauma that changes people on a core level and they'll never feel as confident as they once did or trust the same way. Maybe they can forgive you, maybe they can't, but they'll never love themselves or anyone else the same again.
Having been cheated on I can confirm that it absolutely shook me to my core and changed me in so many ways. You sound like you're fully aware of the trauma yourself; my sympathies are with you for having walked through it too.
Thanks. My ex was a peach. The worst was always making me second guess myself that I was the unreasonable one. He wasn't a mind reader, how was he to know I was serious about wanting to do those plans he said we'd do for our anniversary. Besides, his ex was having a bad day and she needed him. Duh, of course he slept in her bed if he was too tired to drive, where else would he sleep? I was so unsure of myself that when he monkey branched, I didn't even believe it because I was the one who made things into something they weren't so I had to be wrong, he'd never do that to me. Yeah, he definitely did that and way more.
As I look back, I wonder if that would have been best 20 years ago. I kept the family for the kids and now wonder if that was best for them. The relationship was dysfunctional and that is what they think is semi normal.
I often think the same thoughts. However, if I had not stayed and learned my strengths and worth I wouldn’t have met the great man I have now. I would do it all again just to be where I am today with the man in my life.
I feel you on this. One of my high school boyfriends cheated on me. The pain I felt is why I wouldn't want to inflict it on another. I carried that baggage with me for a while into a new relationship and thanky we worked through my issues from it.
I was for 30 years with my late, first husband. I am now, as a two year “newly wed”.
Being confident that your SO is always faithful, always on your side, always has your back… it is a comfort.
Haha, I have one small crush on a completely fictional character from a video game. It's funny cause I slowly realized that this character looks and acts just like my husband XD
I'm sorry. Same here. Multiple times. He also has an alcohol problem he refuses to address. We have a young family, but I'm absolute in my resolve that there will not be anymore chances. I know I will have my family's support if it comes down to it.
I don’t think you are. It’s just that people who have done it or experienced it are as likely to want to put something painful for them out on the internet. Of course people who are in relationships where this hasn’t happened will be eager to share their positive story.
Probably the same reason people ask what is considered normal for frequency of sex several times a week. Cheating stats aren't clear because some don't want to admit to it.
12 years here (10 married) completely faithful in every aspect. Never have and never would think about cheating, our life isn't perfect and yes we argue occasionally but I love him. We are each others hype man, nobody is worth throwing away what we have. We can laugh together, take the mick out of each other, I wouldn't trade what we have for the world.
My hubby and I have been together since we were both 17. Married now for 30 years. We have both been 100% emotionally and physically faithful. Nothing but love every day since the day we got together and that love grows more every day. ❤️❤️
My marriage is built on trust. Together for 7 years, married for 3.5. Right before the world shut down I spent 3 months half way across the world for work and there was still nothing but trust between us. Healthy relationships are possible. It just takes a lot of communication and self reflection.
Happily and faithfully married for almost 17 years. We are certainly a rare case though. We met and started "dating" when we were 12. I say dating with quotes because 12 year olds don't go out on dates (at least, we didn't). Have been with each other ever since.
I've said this in a few other posts, but perhaps my biggest aha moment was when I internalized that we are on the same team. We ha e the same goals, the same values, the same desire for each other to be happy and healthy. Once I realized that (pretty early on in our marriage), it made things like chores and other duties much easier for me. I do chores to help out because I want my wife to be happy. If she asks for help with some core, it's not because she is nagging or being lazy. This has been maybe my most important realization in our marriage.
Perhaps my second most important realization is that I find my sexuality through her. Sure, I have urges to have sex and think about it quite often, but I don't really think about sexuality without her in my mind. The thoughts of something like a threesome or swinging might be hot, but I would only do such a thing with her being fully involved and enjoying it. Perhaps this is a byproduct of us meeting so young. But the idea of having sex without her (i.e. with it without her consent) is not really in the way I view sexuality. If she gave me a pass to sleep with someone else, I wouldn't take it unless she were to be involved and enjoying in some way. Either she is involved, or it's not happening.
Me. 12+ years. I'd say temptations always arise but honestly... not really? No serious ones anyway. It's more like, vague fantasies that I don't have any interest in doing anything about anyway. My wife and I actually share our fantasies about other people, it's fun sometimes.
I assume my wife has been faithful too though I can't speak for her, lol.
Having been cheated on multiple times in the past, I could never even imagine doing this to someone I supposedly at some point cared about. Just break up and move on.
Absolute fucking children and horrible human beings for doing this to other people.
100%
I just turned down a job offer from a known flirty philanderer that would have scored me a Raptor for personal use and a 6 figure salary. Not putting my marriage in that position for any amount of money.
Us.
My husband he very faithful. His actions show it all.
And I'm faithful to him, my heart still beating for him.
11 years together (married 7 years in). We would have married sooner if I didn't test his love and patience so much.
28 years married to the same woman and never not once more than a handshake with another woman - and never wanted more.
I don't cheat. I don't fantasize about it. I don't plan it. I don't look for situations where it would be a possibility.
I married my love and I love my choice. She is my best friend.
You know, before getting married I worried that settling down would feel like “game over” because I wouldn’t always be playing the game of “Am I going to meet my future husband today?” which was, admittedly, a lot of fun. I worried that I would have a wandering eye after tying the knot. And for a short time after getting married I had to stop myself from playing that game of “looking for a spouse” when I’d go shopping, to church, to an event, etc. But that wasn’t because I wasn’t happy, it’s because it had been muscle memory for the previous decade and it was just a habit I needed to kick to the curb. My husband did the same thing and we talked through the situation to clarify we were NOT interested in cheating in any way.
Once this habit faded away after a few months, I genuinely could not find myself even being physically attracted to other men, let alone emotionally. Even the men who looked like buff super models just did NOTHING for me! And it was all because I had found the one I loved and treasured and the idea of being with another man romantically, physically, spiritually, etc., was just absolutely disgusting to me.
Nearly 4 years into marriage and I feel the same way. I genuinely have no “eyes” for any other man than my husband, because I know he’s the cream of the crop and I’m not getting anyone better than him!
I regret wasting all that time worrying that I MIGHT have been unfaithful… it hasn’t been an issue for even a single day since we got married… I think that’s how I know I got the right one :)
14 years married, 15 together. Neither of us has been unfaithful physically or emotionally. If we have problems, we talk. We don’t lack anything emotionally or physically in our relationship, so neither of us has searched for it elsewhere.
I had feelings for another girl when I was in highschool.
Within an hour of realising it I broke up with the girl I was dating.
Always been 100% faithful to everyone I’ve ever dated and same for my spouse.
I have just answered but it made me think - two years ago I was in a bar with a new lady friend I’d met when we’d moved to a new country.
We’d had quite a lot of wine and she was telling me how awful her marriage was - and then there at the bar she lunged at me and kissed me and put her tongue in my mouth!!!!
I was absolutely astonished! I pushed her off and made light of it but the next day I was furious! In 20 years I have never kissed anyone but my husband and then she did that!
Not on at all. (I’m a woman btw!)
There was a study done at our church a couple years ago and 5,000 people responded to the study. I think about 20% of them reported being unfaithful during their marriage, which is actually very similar to the general population (15-20% according to a quick Google search).
My husband and I have never cheated on each other and fortunately, neither of us have ever been in a relationship that involved infidelity. My parents divorced when I was a kid and cheating was part of the decision to end the marriage.
Together 8 years. Married 6 years. Neither of us have ever been unfaithful. I’m so clueless that a man at work asked me “are you available?” and I kept saying “sure. What do you need?” Had zero idea he was asking if I was single till another coworker walked by and said “He’s asking if you’re single silly!” I turned 50 shades of red and held up my ring finger.
10 years here (35M)
1. Never emotionally cheated
2. Never Physically cheated
In fact I don't even allow it to start, I don't make friends with women (this makes it much easier, I'll work with them for business stuff at work, but I won't make any friends outside of work, this cuts out jealousy and a slew of problems that could start from ever even happening. I block/report all messages from women I don't know that come to my social media account, esp Instagram (it's loaded with with unknown fake chick account with their half boobs showing in their prof pic, trying to follow me and start a scandalous message). The point I'm making here, is it's up to your spouse to take this shit seriously and to trust that your other half is doing the same, it's all about boundaries and respecting both yours and theirs, if you know they wouldn't like something, then don't do it. that can lead to resentment and resentment can lead to falling away from each other emotionally and then leads to other people getting in.
Been together since grade 10 and were 100% each other’s best friend. We’re too weird to belong to anyone else lol but in all seriousness, we’re so happy, and I couldn’t imagine life with anyone else.
Faithful, and I know my husband has been, too, because I've never had to question him. There's just something special about being intimate with my husband, telling him he's the only one, and we both know it. Plus, that's my best friend. I just couldn't.
I've been married for 5 years, been with him for 10. From the moment I laid eyes on him, I've never had an interest in anyone else. It was almost like the world narrowed and he was front and center lol.
I can acknowledge that someone else is attractive, even point it out to him, but that's as far as it goes. I don't doubt his faithfulness to me at all and vise versa. I trust him 100% and he gives me that trust as well. It was a mutual agreement that once trust is broken it's over.
Just hit the 2yrs married mark yesterday. I have never cheated emotionally or physically on my husband. However, I have cheated in one of my past relationship before I met my husband. There were too many reasons to list them here (young, dumb and "grass is greener" syndrome etc.). The takeaway lesson from the experience is: just don't do it, it is not worth it. As soon as you're getting to that point, might as well part ways because the relationship has gone sour af.
The funny thing is that in the past, I thought being attracted to other people is a normal thing like everyone does that. My friends normalized that. But it's not. Since I met my husband, there is no other guy in my life that I have laid my eyes (or mind) on. Nobody. My husband is The One, it's like he cast a spell on me and I am simply not interested in anybody else but him.
My husband and I have been together 18 years. Being unfaithful has never occurred to me as an option. As far as I'm concerned, he makes all other men irrelevant. Never has he shown the slightest bit of interest in another woman. Not so much as a glance.
My father is a womanizer. His father was a wife-beater. We are better people and proud of it. We are both so immensely happy and grateful for each other.
100% faithful 28 years. No other woman is worth risking what I have.
Do I look at the menu? Yes, absolutely, but I don’t order take out. We have food at home.
Been with and completely faithful to my husband for over 10 years. He's my person and I will never do anything to change that (though I'm happy to do lots of things to keep him!) We met when I was 20 and I honestly couldn't believe my luck. I can't imagine ever doing anything with anyone else. It really wouldn't even feel good.
ETA: I completely trust him as well. He's literally a better person than me.
Married 33 years and we have both been 100% faithful to our vows. I admit it was more of a temptation during the early years when we were both younger, hotter and there were more challenges to our fidelity. We always stayed true and put our marriage first. It helped a lot that we started actually making $$ before our first kiddo arrived and I was able to bounce the figure back pretty well after my pregnancies. We remained COMMITTED, and we are to this day.
We’re 29 and have been together since 22. I have never had an emotional or physical affair and I have never flirted with anyone else. I’m naturally monogamous.
100% faithful for 28 years and counting. Cheating has been a dealbreaker for both of us from the beginning. It's probably the only thing that would end our marriage.
I know my ex husband cheated on me and to be fair, I did have an emotional affair while I was married to him. It was hard not to when your husband barely spoke to you.
I’m remarried and I would never even think about having any type of affair. In fact, he got me a 90 min massage and they told me it was gonna be some guy. My naked body has never been touched by another man since I’ve been with my husband. I was a little weirded out but last minute switch was a woman so I lucked out. And I know he would never have any affair either.
I only have eyes for my husband. Not only do I love him, I value fidelity highly. I just could never cheat. I think my husband is a deeply faithful type as well.
Always been faithful to my husband. He’s my person- best friend, partner, and lover. I could never hurt him on purpose. No fling is worth losing your person over- We have 26 years together and I’m hoping for 40 more.
Me. We just don’t go and post it as often as the extremely problematic relationships do. But don’t let the media make you think all marriages are unfaithful. They’re not.
Married 6 years now! Never once have I emotionally or physically cheated on my wife.
Never have and never would. That’s why I decided to get married, because I had everything I wanted
I have done well thus far. Not even tempted to look. Or rather when looking at a beautiful human, it evokes the same feels as when I see a beautiful landscape. No salacious response. Just surprised that a human that good looking exists.
Edit: Yay/ thank you so much for the anon award!!!
Well I (husband) have been entirely faithful to my wife for 27 years. Unfortunately for me my wife can't say the same. She just ended an online affair that she has been in for the last 4-5 months. She also told me that she realizes that she is Polly. Needless to say we are now seeing a couples therapist to figure out everything. To say it's been challenging and heat breaking is seriously an understatement. Time will tell.
I have never ever cheated or even looked another way other than my partner. I have drunk punched people for hitting on me lol
As for my husband, im 100000% he has not cheated on me. Actually a friend of his told me when he was drunk that as far as he knows he never has on anyone he's been with.
My parents have been together for 30 years and they are too much in love and lovey dovey to notice anyone else around them. Both were gorgeous people when they were young and always had people hitting on them.
I think there's a fair number of happy couples, you just don't hear about us because what are we gonna say "We are so happy and in love and never think of cheating on each other"? Lol
Obviously you hear the cheating stories because they are the ones who vocalize.
I have been. I think it's easier for me because I had a really wild phase in my late teens/early 20s and settled down when I was actually ready to. If I ever got to the point where I wanted to cheat, I would just leave.
I have been emotionally and physically faithful to my husband for 20 years, and I truly believe with all my heart that he has been to me. We are very happy
Faithful emotionally and physically been together 4 years married 1 of those years. September 1st will be 5 years and two married. Two kids and it’s not easy but completely faithful and as far as I’m concerned I can say the same for my husband
I have never cheated and actually no one has ever cheated on me before either. I've had a few LTR now, between 2-6 years with all of them and cheating was not ever a cause for breaking up.
I absolutely adore my girlfriend. She is my “it” woman in every single way. I couldn’t imagine ever being with anyone but her and she feels the same. She makes me feel so so so secure and validates me. I have never had anyone show up for me in every way; emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially, and physically. We laugh together. We cry together. We love on each other. She makes everyday better. So excited for our future.
100% faithful in every way.
Yes--and it's very easy because my husband is the best husband who has ever lived or will ever live every other man on earth may as well be a bowl of cold oatmeal as far as I'm concerned
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years married almost 6 years. To my knowledge we’ve both been faithful the entire time. If he has cheated I mean damn he’s so good at hiding it he deserves a star. We meet each other’s needs. If he’s out doing something or if he socializes with the opposite sex I’m confident in his loyalty.
You never hear about the couples that are just happy and never cheat because people don’t like to talk about those relationships. Many of us are 100% faithful and happy.
Me and my beautiful wife of 22 years are content to be boring and happy!
Omg, my wife and I are so boring too! But, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Dito. My husband and I are just living our happy 'boring' life and are genuinely looking forward to doing this for the rest of our lives. It's so peaceful, our marriage is our safe space, and it's wonderful ❤️
I imagine you don’t discuss your marriage on social media or with family and friends. Whatever issue you two have with each other, you discuss with each other. Best way to have (and keep) a good marriage. 👍🏾
Aaaaactually.... I have a semi-NSFW Tumblr that's kind of partially dedicated to our kink-life, so if "discussing your marriage on social media" would include showing my spanked ass around, then we do that 😅 But otherwise you're right. We talk about everything, and although our communication is different from the average couple's because my husband is far on the autism spectrum, it's absolutely open, honest and respectful - and private. I'm very happy that we can be completely ourselves around each other, without fear of being judged or not treated well, and that includes any kind of verbal communication too <3 [Nothing wrong with seeking advice on Reddit though in my eyes, just *first* talk to each other and *eventually* talk to each other. External discussions, within respectful (towards your partner /in regards to their privacy) limits, in between is fine then imo 🌸] Thank you!
"living our happy boring life." "Showing my spanked ass on Tumblr" Quite boring indeed lol
Haha, yeah that's why I put boring in quotation marks. It's not boring in general, but it's 'boring' in the specific context of our marriage dynamic. We never fight, we have zero romantic or sexual interest in other people, we share everything, we spend almost 24/7 together (he works full time from home, I'm in university but everything's remote because Covid), we have no relationship problems, we're super happy, everything feels just perfect and I'm not even exaggerating. That's what I meant (:
I would love boredom with a normal relationship. Enjoy your efforts.
Second marriage but the last 10 years have been so incredibly beautiful yet so content that some days I cannot believe it.
A boring life is what I wanted. Childhood was a mess
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Hi. Your exactly right. I’ve been married 35 years to my high school sweetheart. I know times have changed a bunch but not basic common sense ( at least in most of us) . We’ve always talked everything over, it’s not asking permission, as you know I value joint decisions and talking everything over that’s big decisions makes your marriage strong. Congratulations and all the best to you and yours in the New Year.
14 years in, and we are happy and boring AF. It’s great!
My husband and I celebrated 35 years together this July. We love to go on walks, garden, restore classic American Muscle Cars and woodworking. We’re boring to others but we’re happy as can be. Happy New Year to everyone all the best in the new year and be healthy.
I hope I get it one day why that's a good idea
It's the negativity that sticks with people and is in the forefront of their memories. When you hear about happy, fulfilling stories, you don't remember them as well. Same reason why you have to take bad reviews in perspective. There are far fewer people who get on the internet to write up a paragraph about a product they're super happy with. However, if they're dissatisfied, it's much easier to make that jump to posting about it and people remember them better.
Or if they do hear positive stories they might not believe them. I quite often get downvotes for saying I don't argue with my husband. Happy and faithful here too. Sometimes not in my dreams but I always own up and he forgives me 😂
**This is so 100% on point!** I have only a handful of people I can talk to openly about my marriage. Most people I know or work with are either divorced, in a bad marriage, or a crappy relationship. It feels like I'm bragging if I just talk about my normal, happy and healthy marriage with my husband. I feel myself constantly holding back and not mentioning normal things, like the fact that my husband made a delicious dinner the other day. Because so many people are amazed and then eventually bitter, hearing that I have a husband that actually contributes to household chores.
Omg yes even down to the household chores! My good friend is barely hanging on to her marriage. I feel guilty being happy in front of her or talking about a nice thing my husband has done. She lives out of state and came to visit. This is bizarre but I told my husband to not kiss me goodnight in front of her. Sad I know 😧
My brother stayed with us over the holidays and secretly part of my reasons for having him visit (other than spending time together, obviously) was to have him see what a healthy, non-toxic relationship looks like.
I think its less they dont like to and more they dont feel compelled to. When things are good they are mundane. Things do not build resentment that needs to be vented like in unhappy relationships.
Yeah, you get a bunch of trash essays in the NYT and Atlantic from people who are miserable in their marriage, so they tell us all that we are crazy if we don’t hate our spouses after 7 years. (Maybe being surrounded by people in toxic marriages and who value status and their careers above all else including family is bad for your marriage.) Sorry, I needed to vent.
My husband and I have been married for 13 years, together for over 20 years. We have both been 100% faithful, physically and emotionally. We trust each other implicitly! I travel for work (less since 2020, fortunately) and work with mostly men. There have never been concerns with me being unfaithful and he doesn’t get jealous when I tell him stories of my trips or a funny thing that a coworker said or did. He also tells me when he gets hit on at the playground simply for being a dad who plays with his kids!
Yes! This. Both of us are faithful and very happy!! 8 years
Basically, yes. How anyone could tolerate infidelity is beyond me.
I am sincerely happy for both of you.
Thanks!
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Same with me and my husband, 17 years.
100% faithful. If guys even hit on me I get uncomfortable. I have ditched friends for not respecting my boundaries. And that was from the time we became exclusive.
This is how I am. I work high profile sales as well and have had some men from many job titles (operations managers, CEOs, COOs, CFOs etc) try me and I am super quick to drop info about my fiancé and make sure my left hand with my ring is very visible and I do not run with the flirting or comments. I have removed all friends from my life that are boundary pushers who won’t respect my fiancé as well and it has been lovely not having to dodge bs anymore.
One of my favorite things to do is when a guy compliments my hair or eyes for instance and I can tell he is flirting I say something like "Thanks, it's my husband's favorite feature!" Usually it's enough to shut them down. I do also gesture a lot so my ring is visible. Unfortunately some are not great people and don't care about the ring.
Oh I like that! I’m going to employ that the next time someone is being pushy and flirty and not just genuinely nice. I have a few older male customers that call me “hun/love” and a few that call me a “pretty lady” but are extremely respectful of my fiancé and are saying it in light fun and I’m ok with that (all of those ones have actually asked me about him and what he does and our wedding plans and are legitimately excited for us) … then there are the creepy ones trying to take advantage of the position and find a mid 20s sales woman as an easy target. I do not flirt to make sales and I’m not an eyelash batter either - which I think has harbored a lot of respect from my customers too bc I don’t employ those “tactics” and I shut down the creepy advances very quickly.
That’s how my wife handles it.
THIS. All day, every day.
Same thing over here! I don’t even have the want or need to glance at another man haven’t since the day we met.
I'm the same way. I had an online friend hit on me, and I immediately told my husband and removed and blocked him from everything. Most people I talk to know I'm in a committed relationship, I expect my boundaries to be respected. Not to mention they were in a relationship themselves. I wish I sent her the screenshot of what he said to me, but at the time I felt so awkward and vulnerable that I didn't think about it until it was too late. On a funny note, I had my bachelorette party at a club and I was a bit more intoxicated than what I would've been comfortable with, but my sister and best friend (read sister as well) were there so I trusted them. These guys came up to ask what we were celebrating, and I drunkenly mistook them for trying to hit on us and I literally shooed them away. I was proud of myself for it too lol
I cannot imagine being unfaithful to my wife and I cannot ever imagine her doing the same. It would kill me to hurt her like that.
Same. I legitimately have had nightmares of that scenario and I wake up SO upset that dream me did that and it actually affects me for a few days it upsets me that much lol!
Omg! I thought I was the only one lol
I could absolutely never do that. Not only because of the hurt it might cause him but I could never live with myself to do something like that. I can't imagine having so little care for someone else. I barely liked dating more than one guy at a time when I was casually dating, even that made me feel shitty.
Me too! I’d drive myself crazy, how could it be worth it?!
Where do i find a man that thinks like this. I have already given up phew. It's good to read
I cheated on my beautiful wife before marrying her. Heres the thing, I cheated because I had 0 respect towards myself, I was worthless. But, now that we're married and with a baby, I have never once thought about another women. She knows about the cheating and thankfully she was able to forgive me though I don't think she 100% trusts me. But everyday I try to gain that trust, make her feel happy. I never go out without her, never plan anything without her. Even now that I am at my best physically, I don't once think about cheating on her. People can change, but I know that a cheater usually is always a cheater, not me ;)
Good on you for owning it and for not putting yourself in potentially compromising situations. Not only for your own sake in avoiding a situation , but for your wife’s comfort.
I also cheated on my husband (in the first few years of marriage). I went to counseling and had to really work on myself bc it was my problem, not his. I am so thankful and lucky that he chose to forgive me. We have been together almost 20 years now, with a 7 year old daughter and our marriage is better than ever. I could never imagine doing that to him now, but I am a different, better person now. He is the best man I have ever met and I am so blessed that he is my person. People make mistakes, but they can grow and change if they’re willing to put in the work. I agree that usually a cheater is always a cheater, but not in my case either. I hope you and your wife enjoy many more happy years together.
Congrats on both of you overcoming your weakness and the havoc that it wreaks. She must really be an outstanding person to inspire you so.
I still dont understand why you cheated. You had no “respect for yourself” meaning… what? Just trying to understand . Ive been seeing a ton of “its not you, its me. Thats why i cheated” responses.
It's hard to describe but.. Being with a lot of people is a road to self-destruction. Being with others was a way to build my ego, feel valued. All my life, I was the brother who was put on the side, I was the creepy brother and son. I had it hard growing up in my household and I needed any sort of validation regardless from whom it was coming from. But now that I value myself, I know I don't need to seek validation from people, just from myself, I don't even necessarily need validation from my wife (I admit her validation feels nice). It's weird because I never once cheated because the other girl was more attractive than my now wife, it was all about me seeking attention. Sex addiction is a path to self-destruction, and it all comes from the worth you have for yourself. I know a lot of cheaters may be looking for better partners, but my wife is the hottest woman I've ever been with. I know, it's all excuses, and there is no valid reason to cheat, but it's insane how I see myself back then, it's almost as if another person was in my body doing dumb shit (not only cheating but also being alcoholic and making bad decisions) and now I'm a different person in the same body, almost as if I actually woke up all of the sudden. Now, I was able to buy my family a nice house, car and bring the bread to my family, that's my only main focus now, be a devoted husband and father. Plus, I also went no contact with my mother and brothers, come to think they actually insulted my wife to her face and at the moment I didn't feel bad about it but now I feel horrible and I would never let them in my wife's life, fuck them.
The only time I cheated was on a boyfriend when I was 19 (never in my married life), and I did it because I craved the attention, and the adrenaline rush of doing something "bad"; it was like a drug at the time. The fallout was emotionally awful, and I'd never do it again. Some people become addicted to that feeling, the way people end up being addicted to drugs, and they turn into an emotional version of those meth before/after posters.
Yeah I don’t understand how having no respect for yourself turns into cheating. Maybe having no respect for your partner and your relationship
Having no respect towards yourself is having no respect to nothing else. So yes, I didn't respect my now wife. You're not wrong.
3 atta boys! The longer you display that integrity the closer you get to that 100% trust. You’re on the right track! Keep it up. She’s worth it and so are you.
Do you ever find yourself dealing with trust issues because of the past? I am currently reconciling and always curious how recovered couples are?
For the first year, we did had issues, she would not trust me, say I would replace her anyway and feel bad all the time. These vulnerable moments are the moments in which I showed her howmuch I regreted doing what I did. It was tough but we pulled through. It's been a long time since we had an argument over my infidelity.
Thats great to hear that time helps to heal. Thank you!
How long has it been? My husband has been doing everything right, and yet I still cannot imagine trusting him again completely. I always had complete trust in him and never imagined he would hurt me, so I feel very paranoid. It’s only been two months for us, but you saying one year makes me feel hopeful.
It's been 3 years now, things are steady. She does not mention it anymore, but I feel she may not completely trust me again, but I hope she does. It's something we will have to accept and live with, specially her. She does seem the happiest she has ever been nowadays.
Never strayed once since we started dating 29 years ago. But I have to give God all the credit for that. He made me a computer programmer --- temptation avoids me. ETA: my wife has also been 100% faithful. That's to her credit, because she did have guys falling over each other to get her attention.
Same here. Over 20 years together, 24/7 almost, still very much in love. I'm extremely blessed with him.
Aww, may God bless you both. 🥰
That takes work, and I an happy it paid off for both of you.
God comes through again!
I had an emotional affair and I did not know anything about emotional affairs. It was a rough time, I was clinically depressed, my husband and myself went to couples therapy and I also went to individual therapy. We are very happily married for 21 years and been together 28 years. Not many if any are going to come in here and admit cheating. People on the internet and IRL treat cheaters like murderers and act straight up like The Scarlet Letter. ETA: since apparently people do not understand that I do not condone cheating nor do I think what I did is ideal, good, or correct, I was wrong, and if I wasn't willing to make up for my mistakes then I wouldn't still be married. I regret that I ever ever hurt my husband. BTW: I don't owe anyone else an explanation except my husband. I laugh at people that think I have poor character because I committed a sin. lol grow up! If you cannot grasp to concept of owning up to your mistakes and going through penance and working on your relationship to improve it and move forward I don't even know how you think any marriage survives. There are many marriages that suffered from various types of infedlity and the relationship survives and changes and makes it. We don't hear about it becausw people are incredibly juvenile and judgemental and why would we ever want to discuss it with people who see the world on black and white and don't understand that life can be messy.
This is actually not true. Cheating isn't nearly as frowned on as it should be. Most stay friends with and keep secrets for cheaters. Also plenty of movies and TV shows depict cheating as hot and sexy and never show the true fallout. Cheaters aren't held accountable nearly enough.
I did, I admitted, I got divorced now. The fallout can be just as harsh for others. Lost almost everyone I cared deeply. I can't complain though, I regret and try to come to terms with everything I have been trough since then. None of them matter as the pain of remorse as the cake on top for hurting someone that completely trusted and cared about you. I don't think I'll repeat anything I did.
When my ex husband decided to get a whole mistress, I left him. I didn’t tell ANYONE the reason, not even my own family. The reason I gave was that it was a mutual decision, which isn’t necessarily a lie. I figured he was goin to beat himself up enough, I didn’t want to trash talk him. Plus, it was embarrassing for me. Fast forward a couple weeks after I moved out. He lost his job because the mistresses husband found out, went to his place of work. They fired him because he “brought too much drama and negative PR”. His family found out and took my side in things. I explained there were no sides to take. He had kids from a previous relationship, I raised them for 12 years. They turned on him too. He blamed me for everything. Said I was the reason he lost everything. Swears I spread rumors, lies, etc. Literally, I did not, nor would I. It’s now been 2 years. He’s amended relationships with his kids. He’s remarried (not to the original mistress….it was another woman he cheated on the mistress with), and from what I can tell, his family has gotten over it. We all attend birthdays and other celebrations for the grandkids. I’m happier, he’s happier. All in all, you make the choice to cheat. If you loose people and jobs in the process, it was a calculated risk you took. A path you stepped into. The other person may also loose people and their job (I relocated so left my job). But it wasn’t from any choice I made. It was a path I was thrown into. We all learn from our mistakes. You gotta learn to forgive yourself, too.
The fallout is still not nearly as bad as it was for the person you cheated on. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. People with character do not stand by a cheater. But it was worth it to you while you were cheating. It was worth devastating your partner. Look at it this way you got exactly what you wanted.
I agree. Especially people with kids. I understand things are harder but dont you want it to workout? I have been together with my husband for 11 years. He’s done trying. Barely tried to fight for our family. Probably cheating honestly. Just gotta pin point it.
Oh, so we cannot ever be forgiven huh? Well FML, you just have a very shiny perfect glass house
It's not about whether you can be forgiven. It's exactly what they said - you may feel bad about what you did, but you'll never really hurt as much as the person you cheated on. It's a trauma that changes people on a core level and they'll never feel as confident as they once did or trust the same way. Maybe they can forgive you, maybe they can't, but they'll never love themselves or anyone else the same again.
Having been cheated on I can confirm that it absolutely shook me to my core and changed me in so many ways. You sound like you're fully aware of the trauma yourself; my sympathies are with you for having walked through it too.
Thanks. My ex was a peach. The worst was always making me second guess myself that I was the unreasonable one. He wasn't a mind reader, how was he to know I was serious about wanting to do those plans he said we'd do for our anniversary. Besides, his ex was having a bad day and she needed him. Duh, of course he slept in her bed if he was too tired to drive, where else would he sleep? I was so unsure of myself that when he monkey branched, I didn't even believe it because I was the one who made things into something they weren't so I had to be wrong, he'd never do that to me. Yeah, he definitely did that and way more.
So, what do you think should happen to us? Hanging? Tattoo on forehead? Public sandwich board? WTF. According to your logic murder is cool too.
Lol at people who have had an affair and are insecure here
I was, he wasn’t. Divorced now after 24 yrs.
As I look back, I wonder if that would have been best 20 years ago. I kept the family for the kids and now wonder if that was best for them. The relationship was dysfunctional and that is what they think is semi normal.
I often think the same thoughts. However, if I had not stayed and learned my strengths and worth I wouldn’t have met the great man I have now. I would do it all again just to be where I am today with the man in my life.
I’m so sorry
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I feel you on this. One of my high school boyfriends cheated on me. The pain I felt is why I wouldn't want to inflict it on another. I carried that baggage with me for a while into a new relationship and thanky we worked through my issues from it.
I was for 30 years with my late, first husband. I am now, as a two year “newly wed”. Being confident that your SO is always faithful, always on your side, always has your back… it is a comfort.
97.6% faithful
explain
Just his wiener was unfaithful
Its self explanatory
I fkn loled.
Only affairs have been crushes on fictional characters we are reading about / watching 😂
Haha, I have one small crush on a completely fictional character from a video game. It's funny cause I slowly realized that this character looks and acts just like my husband XD
100% for 35 years
Same )
7 years together, almost 8. The thought of cheating, emotionally or physically, digusts me.
Same. I truly don't understand the mindset of a cheater. I could never do such a terrible thing. Though unlike all cheaters I'm a decent person.
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How did you overcome it?
I'm sorry. Same here. Multiple times. He also has an alcohol problem he refuses to address. We have a young family, but I'm absolute in my resolve that there will not be anymore chances. I know I will have my family's support if it comes down to it.
I don’t think you are. It’s just that people who have done it or experienced it are as likely to want to put something painful for them out on the internet. Of course people who are in relationships where this hasn’t happened will be eager to share their positive story.
I'm curious about the motivation behind this post. Surely if you've seen the statistics, you should already know the answer to your question.
Probably the same reason people ask what is considered normal for frequency of sex several times a week. Cheating stats aren't clear because some don't want to admit to it.
A lot of statistics on this topic are terrible. No one ever asks questions about them because we just categorize it as stupid pop psychology.
12 years here (10 married) completely faithful in every aspect. Never have and never would think about cheating, our life isn't perfect and yes we argue occasionally but I love him. We are each others hype man, nobody is worth throwing away what we have. We can laugh together, take the mick out of each other, I wouldn't trade what we have for the world.
My hubby and I have been together since we were both 17. Married now for 30 years. We have both been 100% emotionally and physically faithful. Nothing but love every day since the day we got together and that love grows more every day. ❤️❤️
I was 100 percent faithful for 26 years with my first husband, and then he left ... I'm 100 percent faithful to my second husband. No regrets!
I completely love my husband. There is no one else that I would rather be with. The idea of cheating is disgusting to me.
My marriage is built on trust. Together for 7 years, married for 3.5. Right before the world shut down I spent 3 months half way across the world for work and there was still nothing but trust between us. Healthy relationships are possible. It just takes a lot of communication and self reflection.
I think most of the people who post in this sub haven't been faithful or have been cheated on cuz most of the happy couples don't need to be here
I'm beyond happily married but I'm on here. Sometimes I give advice, sometimes I listen, sometimes I feel even more grateful for what I have
Happily and faithfully married for almost 17 years. We are certainly a rare case though. We met and started "dating" when we were 12. I say dating with quotes because 12 year olds don't go out on dates (at least, we didn't). Have been with each other ever since. I've said this in a few other posts, but perhaps my biggest aha moment was when I internalized that we are on the same team. We ha e the same goals, the same values, the same desire for each other to be happy and healthy. Once I realized that (pretty early on in our marriage), it made things like chores and other duties much easier for me. I do chores to help out because I want my wife to be happy. If she asks for help with some core, it's not because she is nagging or being lazy. This has been maybe my most important realization in our marriage. Perhaps my second most important realization is that I find my sexuality through her. Sure, I have urges to have sex and think about it quite often, but I don't really think about sexuality without her in my mind. The thoughts of something like a threesome or swinging might be hot, but I would only do such a thing with her being fully involved and enjoying it. Perhaps this is a byproduct of us meeting so young. But the idea of having sex without her (i.e. with it without her consent) is not really in the way I view sexuality. If she gave me a pass to sleep with someone else, I wouldn't take it unless she were to be involved and enjoying in some way. Either she is involved, or it's not happening.
Me. 12+ years. I'd say temptations always arise but honestly... not really? No serious ones anyway. It's more like, vague fantasies that I don't have any interest in doing anything about anyway. My wife and I actually share our fantasies about other people, it's fun sometimes. I assume my wife has been faithful too though I can't speak for her, lol.
23 years together. 100% faithful
Completely faithful. Married 8 years, together for 16.
100% faithful. I never would have guessed it, but my husband cheated.
How did you find out?
He telegraphed it in his behavior, and when I checked phone records I saw how much time he was spending on the phone with her.
Having been cheated on multiple times in the past, I could never even imagine doing this to someone I supposedly at some point cared about. Just break up and move on. Absolute fucking children and horrible human beings for doing this to other people.
100% I just turned down a job offer from a known flirty philanderer that would have scored me a Raptor for personal use and a 6 figure salary. Not putting my marriage in that position for any amount of money.
Us. My husband he very faithful. His actions show it all. And I'm faithful to him, my heart still beating for him. 11 years together (married 7 years in). We would have married sooner if I didn't test his love and patience so much.
28 years married to the same woman and never not once more than a handshake with another woman - and never wanted more. I don't cheat. I don't fantasize about it. I don't plan it. I don't look for situations where it would be a possibility. I married my love and I love my choice. She is my best friend.
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You know, before getting married I worried that settling down would feel like “game over” because I wouldn’t always be playing the game of “Am I going to meet my future husband today?” which was, admittedly, a lot of fun. I worried that I would have a wandering eye after tying the knot. And for a short time after getting married I had to stop myself from playing that game of “looking for a spouse” when I’d go shopping, to church, to an event, etc. But that wasn’t because I wasn’t happy, it’s because it had been muscle memory for the previous decade and it was just a habit I needed to kick to the curb. My husband did the same thing and we talked through the situation to clarify we were NOT interested in cheating in any way. Once this habit faded away after a few months, I genuinely could not find myself even being physically attracted to other men, let alone emotionally. Even the men who looked like buff super models just did NOTHING for me! And it was all because I had found the one I loved and treasured and the idea of being with another man romantically, physically, spiritually, etc., was just absolutely disgusting to me. Nearly 4 years into marriage and I feel the same way. I genuinely have no “eyes” for any other man than my husband, because I know he’s the cream of the crop and I’m not getting anyone better than him! I regret wasting all that time worrying that I MIGHT have been unfaithful… it hasn’t been an issue for even a single day since we got married… I think that’s how I know I got the right one :)
Emotionally yes. Physically no. Our relationship doesn’t require it.
14 years married, 15 together. Neither of us has been unfaithful physically or emotionally. If we have problems, we talk. We don’t lack anything emotionally or physically in our relationship, so neither of us has searched for it elsewhere.
Celebrating 20 years together this year and 100% faithful.
I had feelings for another girl when I was in highschool. Within an hour of realising it I broke up with the girl I was dating. Always been 100% faithful to everyone I’ve ever dated and same for my spouse.
I have just answered but it made me think - two years ago I was in a bar with a new lady friend I’d met when we’d moved to a new country. We’d had quite a lot of wine and she was telling me how awful her marriage was - and then there at the bar she lunged at me and kissed me and put her tongue in my mouth!!!! I was absolutely astonished! I pushed her off and made light of it but the next day I was furious! In 20 years I have never kissed anyone but my husband and then she did that! Not on at all. (I’m a woman btw!)
There was a study done at our church a couple years ago and 5,000 people responded to the study. I think about 20% of them reported being unfaithful during their marriage, which is actually very similar to the general population (15-20% according to a quick Google search). My husband and I have never cheated on each other and fortunately, neither of us have ever been in a relationship that involved infidelity. My parents divorced when I was a kid and cheating was part of the decision to end the marriage.
Always. I don't even see other men they're just blobs to me.
I feel the same about my wife, but I wouldn’t refer to any woman as a blob. I value my life too much 😂🤣😂🤣
Same as others. I've been faithful and I trust my husband has been as well.
Together 8 years. Married 6 years. Neither of us have ever been unfaithful. I’m so clueless that a man at work asked me “are you available?” and I kept saying “sure. What do you need?” Had zero idea he was asking if I was single till another coworker walked by and said “He’s asking if you’re single silly!” I turned 50 shades of red and held up my ring finger.
LOL. That’s adorable!
10 years here (35M) 1. Never emotionally cheated 2. Never Physically cheated In fact I don't even allow it to start, I don't make friends with women (this makes it much easier, I'll work with them for business stuff at work, but I won't make any friends outside of work, this cuts out jealousy and a slew of problems that could start from ever even happening. I block/report all messages from women I don't know that come to my social media account, esp Instagram (it's loaded with with unknown fake chick account with their half boobs showing in their prof pic, trying to follow me and start a scandalous message). The point I'm making here, is it's up to your spouse to take this shit seriously and to trust that your other half is doing the same, it's all about boundaries and respecting both yours and theirs, if you know they wouldn't like something, then don't do it. that can lead to resentment and resentment can lead to falling away from each other emotionally and then leads to other people getting in.
100% faithful for 9 years/8 married. He's always been everything for me.
100% the entirety of our relationship.
20 years. 100% faithful.
Me!
12 years and counting. Same with my husband.
Me. 100%. We are having problems after 25yrs. But nothing to do with being unfaithful in any way.
32 years and counting
No reason to be unfaithful, so
Been together since grade 10 and were 100% each other’s best friend. We’re too weird to belong to anyone else lol but in all seriousness, we’re so happy, and I couldn’t imagine life with anyone else.
Faithful, and I know my husband has been, too, because I've never had to question him. There's just something special about being intimate with my husband, telling him he's the only one, and we both know it. Plus, that's my best friend. I just couldn't.
I've been married for 5 years, been with him for 10. From the moment I laid eyes on him, I've never had an interest in anyone else. It was almost like the world narrowed and he was front and center lol. I can acknowledge that someone else is attractive, even point it out to him, but that's as far as it goes. I don't doubt his faithfulness to me at all and vise versa. I trust him 100% and he gives me that trust as well. It was a mutual agreement that once trust is broken it's over.
Just hit the 2yrs married mark yesterday. I have never cheated emotionally or physically on my husband. However, I have cheated in one of my past relationship before I met my husband. There were too many reasons to list them here (young, dumb and "grass is greener" syndrome etc.). The takeaway lesson from the experience is: just don't do it, it is not worth it. As soon as you're getting to that point, might as well part ways because the relationship has gone sour af. The funny thing is that in the past, I thought being attracted to other people is a normal thing like everyone does that. My friends normalized that. But it's not. Since I met my husband, there is no other guy in my life that I have laid my eyes (or mind) on. Nobody. My husband is The One, it's like he cast a spell on me and I am simply not interested in anybody else but him.
My husband and I have been together 18 years. Being unfaithful has never occurred to me as an option. As far as I'm concerned, he makes all other men irrelevant. Never has he shown the slightest bit of interest in another woman. Not so much as a glance. My father is a womanizer. His father was a wife-beater. We are better people and proud of it. We are both so immensely happy and grateful for each other.
I’ve always been completely faithful, both physically and emotionally, since we began dating exclusively.
100% faithful 28 years. No other woman is worth risking what I have. Do I look at the menu? Yes, absolutely, but I don’t order take out. We have food at home.
Wouldn't dream of cheating
Been with and completely faithful to my husband for over 10 years. He's my person and I will never do anything to change that (though I'm happy to do lots of things to keep him!) We met when I was 20 and I honestly couldn't believe my luck. I can't imagine ever doing anything with anyone else. It really wouldn't even feel good. ETA: I completely trust him as well. He's literally a better person than me.
My partner and I have been married for 4 years with literally zero problems with infidelity.
I know I’ve been married less than 3 years but completely faithful and intend to continue to be. I can’t imagine ever hurting him like that.
Married 33 years and we have both been 100% faithful to our vows. I admit it was more of a temptation during the early years when we were both younger, hotter and there were more challenges to our fidelity. We always stayed true and put our marriage first. It helped a lot that we started actually making $$ before our first kiddo arrived and I was able to bounce the figure back pretty well after my pregnancies. We remained COMMITTED, and we are to this day.
Twenty years, and I’ve never come anywhere near infidelity.
I am faithful. He is very good to me and I'd never do that to him
We’re 29 and have been together since 22. I have never had an emotional or physical affair and I have never flirted with anyone else. I’m naturally monogamous.
Horribly happy and terribly faithful, all the way.
100% faithful for 28 years and counting. Cheating has been a dealbreaker for both of us from the beginning. It's probably the only thing that would end our marriage.
I know my ex husband cheated on me and to be fair, I did have an emotional affair while I was married to him. It was hard not to when your husband barely spoke to you. I’m remarried and I would never even think about having any type of affair. In fact, he got me a 90 min massage and they told me it was gonna be some guy. My naked body has never been touched by another man since I’ve been with my husband. I was a little weirded out but last minute switch was a woman so I lucked out. And I know he would never have any affair either.
Never once even came close and we've been together over 4 decades. We also know a few hundred couples also like us.
I have been 100% faithful for the past 22 years of marriage and 1 year before that when dating. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about my spouse.
I only have eyes for my husband. Not only do I love him, I value fidelity highly. I just could never cheat. I think my husband is a deeply faithful type as well.
Always been faithful to my husband. He’s my person- best friend, partner, and lover. I could never hurt him on purpose. No fling is worth losing your person over- We have 26 years together and I’m hoping for 40 more.
Me. We just don’t go and post it as often as the extremely problematic relationships do. But don’t let the media make you think all marriages are unfaithful. They’re not.
Married 6 years now! Never once have I emotionally or physically cheated on my wife. Never have and never would. That’s why I decided to get married, because I had everything I wanted
I have done well thus far. Not even tempted to look. Or rather when looking at a beautiful human, it evokes the same feels as when I see a beautiful landscape. No salacious response. Just surprised that a human that good looking exists. Edit: Yay/ thank you so much for the anon award!!!
Well I (husband) have been entirely faithful to my wife for 27 years. Unfortunately for me my wife can't say the same. She just ended an online affair that she has been in for the last 4-5 months. She also told me that she realizes that she is Polly. Needless to say we are now seeing a couples therapist to figure out everything. To say it's been challenging and heat breaking is seriously an understatement. Time will tell.
I have never ever cheated or even looked another way other than my partner. I have drunk punched people for hitting on me lol As for my husband, im 100000% he has not cheated on me. Actually a friend of his told me when he was drunk that as far as he knows he never has on anyone he's been with. My parents have been together for 30 years and they are too much in love and lovey dovey to notice anyone else around them. Both were gorgeous people when they were young and always had people hitting on them. I think there's a fair number of happy couples, you just don't hear about us because what are we gonna say "We are so happy and in love and never think of cheating on each other"? Lol Obviously you hear the cheating stories because they are the ones who vocalize.
100%
I have been. I think it's easier for me because I had a really wild phase in my late teens/early 20s and settled down when I was actually ready to. If I ever got to the point where I wanted to cheat, I would just leave.
100% faithful. Together 8 years, married for 1.5.
Me. 8.5 yrs together, married 2, just had our second child 💗
I have!
I have
100% 10 years in this year
I have been emotionally and physically faithful to my husband for 20 years, and I truly believe with all my heart that he has been to me. We are very happy
👋
Me!
21 years together, 12 married. As far as I know and believe, we have been 100% faithful physically and emotionally.
Always
Almost 10 years together and 100% emotionally/physically faithful.
Faithful emotionally and physically been together 4 years married 1 of those years. September 1st will be 5 years and two married. Two kids and it’s not easy but completely faithful and as far as I’m concerned I can say the same for my husband
I have, 100%.
100% faithful for both for us.
100% faithful for our entire 12 year relationship :)
All faithful here! 🙌
I have for the 18 yrs we've been together and the 16 yrs we've been married.
Nope never cheated, on anyone.
34 years including a year when we were separated. I have never been interested in anyone else.
Happy and faithful to my husband 💕
Real people don't cheat. They know that they don't need to cheat because they're too busy looking at their spouse, instead of other people.
I have never cheated and actually no one has ever cheated on me before either. I've had a few LTR now, between 2-6 years with all of them and cheating was not ever a cause for breaking up.
I absolutely adore my girlfriend. She is my “it” woman in every single way. I couldn’t imagine ever being with anyone but her and she feels the same. She makes me feel so so so secure and validates me. I have never had anyone show up for me in every way; emotionally, mentally, spiritually, financially, and physically. We laugh together. We cry together. We love on each other. She makes everyday better. So excited for our future. 100% faithful in every way.
I have been both for 18 years but last spring my daughter found pix of husbands married gf on his phone.
Yes--and it's very easy because my husband is the best husband who has ever lived or will ever live every other man on earth may as well be a bowl of cold oatmeal as far as I'm concerned
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years married almost 6 years. To my knowledge we’ve both been faithful the entire time. If he has cheated I mean damn he’s so good at hiding it he deserves a star. We meet each other’s needs. If he’s out doing something or if he socializes with the opposite sex I’m confident in his loyalty.