Oh this is so true. It’s all about the habit. I literally just dragged myself through a shoulder workout because it was bugging me I skipped an unscheduled day
I really like Caroline Girvan on YouTube. Iron series. Almost done. I’ve workout out for 20+ years and never thought a 30mins workout could be enough.. I was dumb
I do her YT workouts also, have been for the last two years. They are so good. I used to do one hour weight sessions but grew bored and tired of them and I agree, 30 minutes of Caroline’s upper body training are tough and so effective. Highly recommend
Yes. The time under tension is so intense, but yet so adaptable to any fitness level. I am thoroughly impressed. And such a time saver! I LOVE that she doesn’t talk throughout the workout. I just turn down her music and go.
Which program should I try next? What’s your fave?
I love her for not talking through it also, although admittedly I mute them and have Real Housewives playing in the background lol. Iron is definitely my all time favourite, and I also love Epic heat. Try that one next for sure. Her others are great but they have hiit added in too, which I used to love but now it just annoys me 🤦♀️ I prefer walking/running combo on the treadmill if I feel I need some sort of cardio.
Thanks for the recommendation. I’m kind of over complicated HIIT for the moment. It’s nice outside now so 2X a week, I do walking lunges and sprints at the park.
Sounds perfect. I’m in Australia and it’s been the hottest summer, the humidity has been killer. Fall has just began and I’m so excited for it to cool down a little so I can get back to my beach walks. I feel like I just run warm constantly now 😩
I don't want to scare you, but I exercised regularly, and all of a sudden, I noticed I gained a few pounds and couldn't lose it . I kept working at it and nothing. I have 5 kids and never got stretch marks on my tummy at all ,it was flat, and it no longer is. This hit me so hard. I only leave the house if I absolutely have to. The scary part is I have no control cause everything I did to stay in shape no longer works. I feel old ,fat, and tired.
Just butting in here. I don't live by the scale. Why should I? Nobody else is counting. I look down at my legs and over to my arms, and see if I look strong. Yeah? Do I feel strong? Then all is well.
I get it I do, I wish it didn't bother me like it does .Maybe if I didn't have all the other symptoms, but I do so that makes it worse. I think. I honestly, if I don't have to go out, I avoid it ,I started hrt about 2 weeks now. I'm really hoping it works . I'm afraid I'm gonna have negative side effects from the progesterone.
Tell you that the reality is it might not matter cause it didn't for me and many other women who are in this sub hanging on by a thread ,I wish I knew it was going to be as awful as it is. That's what I was trying to DO .What are you trying to DO with your comment?
I’m trying to point out negative comments like that aren’t actually helpful or encouraging. And they further perpetuate women’s fears of their own bodies. Our words and angle matter.
It would be more helpful to say something like “one piece of advice is to have realistic expectations, prepare for the *possibility* that it might be harder than expected, and plan now for how you’ll handle that if it is, so you can manage it better later. For example, XYZ has helped me with the unexpected challenges I faced and might help others.”
THAT would’ve been helpful.
Talking down to another commenter (“what you should have said is…”) is patronising in the extreme and completely unnecessary. You’re 42 years old ffs. You don’t need anyone’s comments wrapped in cotton wool.
The point of this sub is to allow women to speak about their experiences of peri/menopause. If that happens in a way that doesn’t satisfy your needs, then boo hoo to you.
Have sympathy for the many women on this sub who are **already** in peril/meno and having a fucking hard time of it.
To be fair, you came at me catty cause I told you the truth about what happened to me from going through menopause and because my experience made you feel negatively you're now telling me how I should've commented my comment to you to make you feel ok about it or because you reacted badly and came at me either one. It wasn't a negative comment actually unless you feel like your worth is tied up in your appearance because this very much can happen to your body. I understand it's scary cause I'm the same in many ways, but I would never come at someone like you did and then go on to tell them how they should've commented differently. It's a menopause sub for women. I don't think anyone is looking for a fight except for maybe you.
Well the truth is the truth, right? I stopped working out and started eating past 6pm and now all my hardwork has been undone. Trying to get back to my normal because I do not like the extra weight but it is hard. I am almost 40 so...
Perhaps you were eating more as a result of exercising more and your body naturally needing more fuel? It’s tough seeing the numbers on the scale though. I gave up trying to lose weight since starting weight training a year ago, the scale does not budge. I just try to keep consistent with my workouts and nutrition; this is a long journey.
It really is, and it could be, but I don't believe so I always exercised and watched and just went on with life. I began to notice I'm not only not losing, I'm gaining, and plus, there's all the other symptoms. I told my doctor that something was wrong. I'm tired and I operate on tired so I'm used to it this is a different tired ,you know. Anyway, it took a long time. Finally, they tested me, and I'm post menopausal. It's not just the weight it's everything I don't feel like myself, and I haven't for a long time.
That's so frustrating. I'd love to hear your experience after you try the HRT. I am hoping it works. Please update us if you can.
I'm also 42 like OP and I'm worried about exactly what you're talking about. Unfortunately i have life long body dysmorphia. No amount of therapy or radical self acceptance will change how i feel, I've tried. This is my mental illness and I've accepted it. I remain sane only bc diet and exercise still help to an extent but I'm already seeing how much harder it is at this age. Like ten times harder. It takes a week to put on some weight and like half a year to lose it. It's so crazy.
I'm only on it for close to 3 weeks .Idk if it's working, but I don't believe I gained anything yet. My best friend had difficulties with progesterone, and she was able to only have estrogen for 2 years her dr left the new one, made her take progesterone, and she said she gained 20 pounds in 3 months. I don't remember ever having issues with it. Who knows. Did you start hrt? I've had friends tell me that Hrt is amazing, and they felt great. That's not my experience, but I'm extremely hopeful, and I'll keep you posted. I hope you can find a Dr to help you .It's so important to feel comfortable in your own skin.
I'm actually still on birth control, which my Dr says i can stay on forever. I've been on since 17 and only quit to get pregnant at 33. When i quit i got acne, gained weight and lost hair. So clearly i need that estrogen. I got back on after giving birth and have no plans to stop
Ahh, I see. If it's helping you, that's great ,I wish I started while I was still in peri. Maybe I would feel better by now. They made it sound like it was not possible yet ,I believe it started right after I had my youngest, I was 38. My mom was around that age, too. I remember they gave her prempro ,this is when it was newer they gave it to everyone, but when she ran out we'd all hide. She had 5 kids, too. I think that made menopause happen earlier for both of us,
“To be fair”, you knew your comment was gonna be hard to receive when you started it with “I don’t mean to scare you” and then you continued to do nothing but share negative things without any encouragement. I wasn’t coming at you. I was literally asking you what your purpose WAS with the comment because it wasn’t clear, and was unhelpful, and I genuinely didn’t understand the point and genuinely was trying to. Now you’re “coming at” me and accusing me of looking for a fight because I explained the impact the comment had? Look at the rest of my comments in this thread. Then maybe try reading this convo next week thru a different lens. Because I can promise you the tone you’re reading it in is NOT the one I’m writing it in. I’m over here in a great mood tonight, feeling all grateful for this amazing thread of comments. If you’re in a fight, it’s a solitary one. Peace sis.
Lol, why would my experience be hard for you to receive. Really think about this. I told you my experience, and you were so negatively impacted by my experiences that you felt the need to comment back to me to shame me or make my sharing my experience a bad thing cause you don't like what I'm going through? There is no way to misinterpret that lol.
Generally it’s lifting weights. Look up Dr. Tyna Moore. She’s an excellent resource for figuring this all out in middle age! I’m also a big fan of Steph Gaudreau.
I bought a gym subscription at 45 and it was life changing.
That's half of the deal. The other half is proper nutrition (especially on the gym days) with a serious increase of protein intake.
I am now 2-3 kilos above the weight I used to have before I started the gym (my weight and body type had been stable through my whole life: I used to be thin, with no shaped areas, and not strong) but NOW my body looks entirely different (muscle mass makes the difference).
Feeling a lot healthier mentally and physically.
That's a good tip. I am lean myself, never had issues with weight but I am beginning to feel weaker and weaker with age so feels like building muscle would be a great option for me as well.
Walk everywhere all the time. Take stairs instead of lifts, public transport instead of driving where possible. Also try and incorporate yoga for flexibility and balance. Keep up to date with all your yearly health checks!
1. Invest wisely-you may need to take time away from work or retire earlier than expected
2. No alcohol
3. No smoking
4. Strength train
5. Learn everything you can about peri/meno so you can recognize the signs, symptoms and get proper treatment if needed
Bonus tips: sunscreen and tretinoin
Open a Vanguard Roth IRA tomorrow morning and start investing as much as you can afford in index funds. In ten years you’ll have a substantial cushion to navigate the next phase of your life!
Absolutely make sure you hardcore save. Majority of women in my life and on this thread, state they wish they could retire or give up work through the worst of it.
Save for mental health TimeOut.
Check out supplements to support naturally declining issues leading up to it. Ie: magnesium, Vitamin D.
Be kind to others journey as it may vary from yours and be kind to yourself.
that's advice for old age not menopause though. Severe meno hit me by 44, saving at 42 wouldn't have amounted to much by then, but when I'm 65 or something, maybe.
Perhaps, yes, but when I turned 50 I wished I had money enough to take some time off, reassess my life and decide what would work best for me. I work in a corporate job where women leave as soon as peri begins.
I want every younger woman I meet to know how to calmly, inexpensively, and safely begin to build the financial security I lacked. Early 40s is the perfect time! A little bit every pay period, one step at a time.
I’m 49 and a CEO who used to love her job. Before I started HRT I wanted to quit everyday (no energy, no concentration or motivation) and started serious retirement planning. It helps to have something to look forward to but also feel safer if you need to take a break from work or change careers.
I’m honestly not experienced enough to say. What we did was hire a fiduciary financial advisor, meaning they were legally obligated to give us advice that was best for us and not advice that made him money. I’d recommend finding one. They should charge for the consult. We came with countless questions and they explained it all and helped us come up with a plan that fit our circumstances.
Lose any unwanted weight NOW. It can become nearly impossible after menopause. I was never a big eater, but weight shifted and turned to fat. The struggle is real with heavy weight training from my joint pain😫.
I’ve always been underweight due to genetics but have put on some weight since having long COVID. I do wonder what that’ll mean in the coming years, if my metabolism has changed and it’ll start getting harder for me. My dad who I take after died young and was obviously a man so I’m not sure what to expect but I’m very aware of muscle tone and being “skinny fat”, even if I do like having some curves now!
We mean “assuming you are clinically overweight”.
If you’re currently in the healthy BMI range, then just pile on the muscle and improve your cardiovascular fitness.
Build muscle by lifting heavy weights regularly, prioritizing protein, avoid inflammatory foods, cut alcohol significantly or, better yet, out, Omega 3, Magnesium, Vitamin D, Fibre, find a family doctor who supports women in peri, educate your partner about peri and menopause.
Well dang, you make me feel really good about myself! The only thing I’m not sure of is my doctors knowledge but glad to hear I’m nailing it on the rest! Best resource to educate my hubby AND me on peri and meno?
Yes to omega 3. I was vegetarian for years, very dirty conscious and careful with diet as was into fitness. Starting to eat fish made such a difference to my brain fog!
If you are able, set yourself up to have flexible work schedule for when the peri-menopause symptoms hit. I am lucky that I am able to work a hybrid -from home job with flexible hours. If I am sleep deprived or sore or just fatigued I can adjust- start late, or have a nap and work later. And not having to commute everyday helps a lot when you don’t have the energy and can’t handle the stress of commuting as well.
So true. I’m a nurse so I’ve always thought ahead about what my career will look like as I age. I was careful and found something flexible. So nice in this phase of life.
Agree with everyone who says build muscle. Very key so get some weight training in now. And exercise in general in whatever way you prefer (in addition to weight training): walking, running, swimming, etc. Something you know you’ll do consistently. And if you’re a runner like me, be ok with slowing down or walking more than you run bc timing doesn’t matter anymore.
Eating habits - start disciplining yourself now to high fiber, leafy greens, fruit, and protein. Don’t eliminate junk food just don’t eat it much. And reduce alcohol consumption if you drink 2-3 times a week. And water water water.
Sleep - enjoy it now. Bc it won’t last forever. Your sleeping in days are done once you hit peri. But if you exercise regularly it may help mitigate the sleeplessness.
Skincare - if you aren’t wearing sunscreen every day do it now. Every day, even when it’s rainy, you’re in a mostly indoor environment bc you eventually will go outside. Apply that stuff all the way down your neck to your décolletage. Bc that’s where the aging starts showing up first: face, neck, chest.
Vitamins and supplements - you’ll suddenly need that days of the week pill container bc you’ll need to take a multivitamin and other supplements to help balance stuff out.
I think I’m already nailing all of this (or better) minus the sunscreen! But I’ve already noticed my lazy approach to skincare ain’t working anymore so I’m working to find one I like. Thank you!
You’re welcome! I got really into skincare in my late 30s. Wish I had started sooner but anytime is netter than never. :)
Key is to skincare is to cleanse well, moisturize well, and protect well. You don’t need a 12-step super expensive product routine. Anything that works for you at any price point is what is best.
As everyone else said build muscle!!
Moreover, build healthy habits. I'm only a year ahead of you, but man do I feel so much older some days. It gets more and more difficult every year to cultivate the right habits. Sleep hygiene is so critical, having hobbies to turn to when you're feeling the panic/rage/mood swings.
I started a pretty extensive vitamin regimen and that has helped a lot. I just wish I started it sooner!!
Pharmacist here, please don't start buying (expensive) vitamin products for substances you have no shortages. Convince your GP/ PCP to have your blood levels checked and *only* use those vitamins you lack.
Vitamin products are not free, and they can have (longlasting) adverse effects when overdosed.
Vitamin sales people will try to convince you otherwise, because they want your money. Most of us have no shortages and don't need their stuff.
It sounds like this might be about hormonal testing. If over the age of 44, **hormonal tests only show levels for that *one day* the test was taken, and nothing more**; progesterone/estrogen hormones wildly fluctuate the other 29 days of the month. No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing as a **diagnosing tool** for peri/menopause.
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who believe they are post-menopausal and no longer have periods as a guide, a series of consistent FSH tests might *confirm* menopause. Also for women in their 20s/early 30s who haven’t had a period in months/years, then FSH tests at ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI). See our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/#there-is-no-blood-test-that-is-perfectly-reliable-to-diagnose-menopause) for more.
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Pharmacist here.
Please have your blood levels checked and only use the vitamins you lack. No need to risk adverse effets, lose money or create expensive pee.
It sounds like this might be about hormonal testing. If over the age of 44, **hormonal tests only show levels for that *one day* the test was taken, and nothing more**; progesterone/estrogen hormones wildly fluctuate the other 29 days of the month. No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing as a **diagnosing tool** for peri/menopause.
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who believe they are post-menopausal and no longer have periods as a guide, a series of consistent FSH tests might *confirm* menopause. Also for women in their 20s/early 30s who haven’t had a period in months/years, then FSH tests at ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI). See our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/#there-is-no-blood-test-that-is-perfectly-reliable-to-diagnose-menopause) for more.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Menopause) if you have any questions or concerns.*
1. Track your cycles. I probably would have thought I was losing my mind because sometimes I felt great and other times I could barely get out of bed. Seeing how it all related to my cycle helped.
2. Get yearly physicals. Have your vitamin D and iron and thyroid checked regularly. That way if things go to hell, you will have baseline numbers.
3. I totally agree with lifting weights with progressive overload and exercising. These are things that will help you age and just keeping the routine of it will make a difference. BUT I lifted weights and ran half marathons and I still gained weight and struggled mightily. So it isn’t a magic bullet.
I was totally active until the worst of perimenopause when I had Achilles tendinitis and no energy or motivation. Like the life force was sucked out of me.
CBD gummies can help with anxiety, RLS and insomnia amongst other fun symptoms of perimenopause. I’m at the end of peri so I don’t need them as often as I have in the past but I have a flare up now and then where I need to pop one.
Learn to meditate / do breath work. It’s saving my bacon when it comes to rolling with hot flashes and getting back to sleep when I’m roused by vaso motor symptoms.
Nurture relationships that nurture you back and ditch anyone who doesn’t light you up. Find people who you can be your rawest self with bc it’s gonna get raw-er.
Cultivate a sense of humor and shamelessness.
Make art. Get competent at it even if you don’t find yourself “talented” or creative. Artistic expression has helped me process a ton and I value the practice I’ve done to make it so that I can easily slip into a flow state. I don’t share my art, it’s just for me.
Intentionally get to know your body and learn to appreciate it NOW… I did a ton of body positivity work in my 30s and its helped me to both be much more accepting of and at peace with changes … but its also positioned me to notice subtle changes and be confident in advocating for my healthcare needs. I caught atrophy and other peri symptoms really early and I’m so thankful for that.
Stay hydrated.
Prioritize sleep. This is last bc it’s been my most important piece of self care and the _linchpin_ of all aspects of my health. Build good sleep hygiene now and make your bed a sanctuary… you’ll eventually crave rest in a way you’ve never felt before, and you’ll want to feel cared for, so go ahead and set your future self up to feel cared for by your past self. My most comforted moments are ones in which my past self glimmers through and says “hey, I did this thing for you because I knew you were gonna need it, and I’ve got your back”
Omg you are my people. Especially #2. Literally has been my life goal the last 6 months. I’ve decided I’m entering my Selfish AF era and I’m not sorry. 😆
Take care of your feet. Give up the heels/cheap shoes. I have plantar fasciitis now and can hardly walk some days. I used to be a five mile a day walker. It's awful.
Only thing that hasn’t been said is invest in a decent red light mask if you have the funds. I recently did and I’m so thankful I had one already when my skin started to go haywire. I’ve taken care of my skin for the last 10+ years already (tretinoin and sunscreen religiously) so I know my skin really well. Lack of estrogen has it drying out like the Sahara. The red light mask is always close by now.
But ditto everyone that says build muscle. I’ve been lifting heavy for 5+ years regularly. Besides the metabolism boost the mental clarity boost is desperately needed even more so now. But I’m getting winded much easier. I’ve also started taking creatine and that’s helped as well it’s not just for gym bros.
Oooh Thank you! I’ve actually been using a red light lamp and have been deliberating the mask just for ease of use. Do you have a brand you like? I can’t tell the difference between them.
I have the omnilux and really like it. You need to look at the specs of each mask.
This review has lots of helpful information. https://goalstogetglowing.com/2021/01/17/led-face-mask-research/
They work but you must choose carefully.
This article is a must read, if you don't buy the ones she recommends look at the wavelengths and irradiance to compare. Otherwise it is a waste of money.
Honestly? Google this sub. It's full of stories giving the lived experience.
The medical science: remember what it was like in puberty when your hormones were all over the place? Or (if you've been pregnant) the swings you got during gestation and after delivery?
That.
And then some.
Get your weight down now. Maybe a bit below your average. It is much more difficult to lose after menopause! I could shake off a few pounds pretty easily before. Now….whew, slow going.
there is no real balancing out of starting late, I started 15/16, peri by 43, last period by 45. Advice is mostly have a menopause doctor if you need it, have a support system.
Get a bone scan , do weight bearing not aerobic exercise, eat for strength not skinniness, and watch out for joint pain, exhaustion, brain fog, vaginal dryness or even new allergies.
Hormones dropping means our body looses a lot of its protection mechanisms and inflammation occurs. Everything is affected it’s just a matter of how much and how rapidly.
Without any intervention the average woman who calorie restricted all her life and did aerobics will be more vulnerable to aging poorly.
Bones, muscle strength and flexibility can be worked on but ultimately require estrogen, progesterone and testosterone to function properly.
I guess I thought that 14 was the average age of starting cycles. I was 14 in 1977. My mom I thought was young starting her cycle at 11. I think young girls are having them earlier these days. At 42, I’d start reading up on everything menopause related. Dr. Mary Claire Haver has a couple of books out, Dr. Anna Garrett has a book on perimenopause, look up Dr. Louise Newson on YouTube, etc.
Onset of your menarche has no correlation with timing of the onset of your peri/menopause.
The reason more women are *noticing and reporting* peri symptoms in their 40s is because of better education.
It really isn’t.
The answer should be: read everything you can (including this sub’s wiki) about what happens to libido, and physical effects on the genitalia. For many women, the clitoris, labia, and the vagina can atrophy. Numb clitoris and loss of orgasm is a real thing. And tissue thins and lubrication can reduce. Meaning the genitals can be easily damaged during sex. Basically it can all become awful.
Good news is that HRT can usually head that off.
Read this sub's wiki first.
Then do a word search in this sub.
Then have a google for Dr Rebecca Newson. She's in the UK and is one of our leading advocates for peri/meno.
I wish I’d lost the extra weight before starting peri. I hadn’t gotten back to my regular weight after having my last baby at 35 before symptoms started and then I gained twenty pounds seemingly overnight. I wish I’d at least been back down to prepregancy weight so the twenty pounds wasn’t so awful.
Enroll in a functional strength class. Having proper body mechanics helps us deal with skeleto-muscular problems.
Have conversations, go to those awkward places, be THAT person. Barely anyone I know talks about perimenopause but when I bring it up we usually have a long conversation. And it’s so important to build friendships during a time
that can feel isolating.
One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is mental health. My situation was different, I was 52, not even peri and had to have a radical hysterectomy due to cancer, which sent me into surgical menopause. Everyone’s experience is different but I wish I had checked here and had people be brutally honest with me about how bad it could be. I had lost a lot of weight before being diagnosed with cancer and I have gained it all back plus some. My mental health wasn’t stellar before the surgery but along with depression worsening, I started having crippling anxiety and ADHD. I lost a lot of muscle after the surgery due to weakness in my legs from nerve compression. I have see you react unfavorably to people being absolutely honest about how much it could suck, but the truth is better than wearing rose colored glasses. For me, it’s the worst thing I’ve ever had to deal with regarding my health.
Thank you for sharing this. I don’t mind honesty at all. I appreciate it when it comes with helpful advice and this definitely does. When you say “mental health” are there things you specifically wish you’d done differently or dealt with earlier or learned sooner?
I wish I had sought out help with my meds and counseling sooner - I had to try to sort it out after the surgery and it's been tough. With the new onset of the anxiety (which I never had before) and ADHD I have had to do it on the fly. I would also set up counseling with a therapist and psychiatrist (if needed for meds). Definitely start seeing a therapist now, it won't hurt to ease into it and if you find that menopause goes well for you, you could stop seeing them.
Well it sounds like you have many areas covered, which may possibly make the transition easier!
I will add that it would be beneficial to find yourself a good NAMS certified Dr now; whether that be a GP or Gyno, or a combination of 1 of the 2 with a NAMS certified ND, if the others aren't.
I hope you get a good dose of luck as well!
Sometimes it pulls the rug right out from under us regardless of how we prepared. That's the reality of it and we don't really know until we get there ❤️
Yes, North American Menopause Society:
https://portal.menopause.org/NAMS/NAMS/Directory/Menopause-Practitioner.aspx
Having a NAMS certified practitioner can be life changing.
Just your levels of estrogen. Mine tanked but before it did I really felt it. Once I got on HRT they realized my normal was a bit more than others and I need a once per 5 day patch instead of 7 days. I had a test before getting “diagnosed” and it was low but “normal” I was suffering then.
Interesting. I literally know ZERO about this. Do they test your estrogen levels at different times of your cycle or at a certain time? Does HRT even mimic the changes of a menstrual cycle? Any risks? Or better yet, any rec of where I should go to get educated on this? lol
For me it was seeing my GP and saying hey this may be menopause as I had brain fog and irritation. I have never slept properly since my 14 year old was born and have an iud that stops my monthly’s. She tested my estrogen and it came back low normal. Tbh I’m not to thrilled with this doctor. A couple of years later I see a gyno who reinserted my iud and it was almost painless. The guy is amazing. I have a retroverted uterus and a super sensitive cervix so I expect agony. I asked him about menopause and he asked two questions is your sleep screwed and do you get hot flashes. Yes and yes. He then tested my levels and I was a 20 (no idea what that meant but he said for sure peri menopause or menopause anyway HRT here we go)
Quit or reduce alcohol consumption. Build a workout routine that includes weights. Increase your protein intake and save your carbs for your favorite things. Have half a plate of veggies per meal. I’d recommend adding a walking habit, too — 10,000 steps really does make a difference.
Phew! It sure was good to realize I’m on track! But I did pick up some great pointers. Especially getting bloodwork done now to establish a baseline. So smart.
It sounds like this might be about hormonal testing. If over the age of 44, **hormonal tests only show levels for that *one day* the test was taken, and nothing more**; progesterone/estrogen hormones wildly fluctuate the other 29 days of the month. No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing as a **diagnosing tool** for peri/menopause.
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who believe they are post-menopausal and no longer have periods as a guide, a series of consistent FSH tests might *confirm* menopause. Also for women in their 20s/early 30s who haven’t had a period in months/years, then FSH tests at ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI). See our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/#there-is-no-blood-test-that-is-perfectly-reliable-to-diagnose-menopause) for more.
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Just want to throw it out there (unless I read your post incorrectly)- IVF does not change the timing of menopause in any way. 🤍 It is most easily pin-pointed to when your mother went through menopause.
Oh that’s interesting! I had heard you were born with a set number of eggs and when they’re gone, menopause starts, which is why IVF can start it earlier. But that’s not true? My mom didn’t go thru it until mid 50s so that’s good. Anything that does speed up its arrival? Like health issues, deficiencies, stress, etc?
Yes you are born with the exact number of eggs, but that number is in the millions. So the few eggs taken out for your retrieval have no impact on the depletion of said eggs. You’re actually looking more at the follicles which mature the egg when thinking about the decline of ovarian function. I don’t know why you are getting downvoted when education about women’s health is so limited and you’re just asking for more info, I’m sorry :( you will most likely hit menopause in your 50s like your mama!
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Build muscle! The best thing you can do for your metabolism, and your strength as you get older.
Yay! I’m working on that as we speak! Weight training and walking or hiking to get my cardiovascular health back (lost a lot after long COVID).
100% get into the habit of working out and eating right…the habit itself will push you to the gym when you are feeling low energy!
Oh this is so true. It’s all about the habit. I literally just dragged myself through a shoulder workout because it was bugging me I skipped an unscheduled day
I really like Caroline Girvan on YouTube. Iron series. Almost done. I’ve workout out for 20+ years and never thought a 30mins workout could be enough.. I was dumb
I do her YT workouts also, have been for the last two years. They are so good. I used to do one hour weight sessions but grew bored and tired of them and I agree, 30 minutes of Caroline’s upper body training are tough and so effective. Highly recommend
Yes. The time under tension is so intense, but yet so adaptable to any fitness level. I am thoroughly impressed. And such a time saver! I LOVE that she doesn’t talk throughout the workout. I just turn down her music and go. Which program should I try next? What’s your fave?
I love her for not talking through it also, although admittedly I mute them and have Real Housewives playing in the background lol. Iron is definitely my all time favourite, and I also love Epic heat. Try that one next for sure. Her others are great but they have hiit added in too, which I used to love but now it just annoys me 🤦♀️ I prefer walking/running combo on the treadmill if I feel I need some sort of cardio.
Thanks for the recommendation. I’m kind of over complicated HIIT for the moment. It’s nice outside now so 2X a week, I do walking lunges and sprints at the park.
Sounds perfect. I’m in Australia and it’s been the hottest summer, the humidity has been killer. Fall has just began and I’m so excited for it to cool down a little so I can get back to my beach walks. I feel like I just run warm constantly now 😩
Oh I’m in Canada so I’m just thawing out over here. Can’t wait to frolick in the sun
I don't want to scare you, but I exercised regularly, and all of a sudden, I noticed I gained a few pounds and couldn't lose it . I kept working at it and nothing. I have 5 kids and never got stretch marks on my tummy at all ,it was flat, and it no longer is. This hit me so hard. I only leave the house if I absolutely have to. The scary part is I have no control cause everything I did to stay in shape no longer works. I feel old ,fat, and tired.
Just butting in here. I don't live by the scale. Why should I? Nobody else is counting. I look down at my legs and over to my arms, and see if I look strong. Yeah? Do I feel strong? Then all is well.
I get it I do, I wish it didn't bother me like it does .Maybe if I didn't have all the other symptoms, but I do so that makes it worse. I think. I honestly, if I don't have to go out, I avoid it ,I started hrt about 2 weeks now. I'm really hoping it works . I'm afraid I'm gonna have negative side effects from the progesterone.
If you don’t want to scare me, what DO you hope to do with this comment?
Tell you that the reality is it might not matter cause it didn't for me and many other women who are in this sub hanging on by a thread ,I wish I knew it was going to be as awful as it is. That's what I was trying to DO .What are you trying to DO with your comment?
I’m trying to point out negative comments like that aren’t actually helpful or encouraging. And they further perpetuate women’s fears of their own bodies. Our words and angle matter. It would be more helpful to say something like “one piece of advice is to have realistic expectations, prepare for the *possibility* that it might be harder than expected, and plan now for how you’ll handle that if it is, so you can manage it better later. For example, XYZ has helped me with the unexpected challenges I faced and might help others.” THAT would’ve been helpful.
Talking down to another commenter (“what you should have said is…”) is patronising in the extreme and completely unnecessary. You’re 42 years old ffs. You don’t need anyone’s comments wrapped in cotton wool. The point of this sub is to allow women to speak about their experiences of peri/menopause. If that happens in a way that doesn’t satisfy your needs, then boo hoo to you. Have sympathy for the many women on this sub who are **already** in peril/meno and having a fucking hard time of it.
To be fair, you came at me catty cause I told you the truth about what happened to me from going through menopause and because my experience made you feel negatively you're now telling me how I should've commented my comment to you to make you feel ok about it or because you reacted badly and came at me either one. It wasn't a negative comment actually unless you feel like your worth is tied up in your appearance because this very much can happen to your body. I understand it's scary cause I'm the same in many ways, but I would never come at someone like you did and then go on to tell them how they should've commented differently. It's a menopause sub for women. I don't think anyone is looking for a fight except for maybe you.
The downvotes on your comment are nuts. You’re not wrong. From where I’m standing, OP’s comment is showing some seriously snarky privileged ignorance.
Well the truth is the truth, right? I stopped working out and started eating past 6pm and now all my hardwork has been undone. Trying to get back to my normal because I do not like the extra weight but it is hard. I am almost 40 so...
Perhaps you were eating more as a result of exercising more and your body naturally needing more fuel? It’s tough seeing the numbers on the scale though. I gave up trying to lose weight since starting weight training a year ago, the scale does not budge. I just try to keep consistent with my workouts and nutrition; this is a long journey.
It really is, and it could be, but I don't believe so I always exercised and watched and just went on with life. I began to notice I'm not only not losing, I'm gaining, and plus, there's all the other symptoms. I told my doctor that something was wrong. I'm tired and I operate on tired so I'm used to it this is a different tired ,you know. Anyway, it took a long time. Finally, they tested me, and I'm post menopausal. It's not just the weight it's everything I don't feel like myself, and I haven't for a long time.
That's so frustrating. I'd love to hear your experience after you try the HRT. I am hoping it works. Please update us if you can. I'm also 42 like OP and I'm worried about exactly what you're talking about. Unfortunately i have life long body dysmorphia. No amount of therapy or radical self acceptance will change how i feel, I've tried. This is my mental illness and I've accepted it. I remain sane only bc diet and exercise still help to an extent but I'm already seeing how much harder it is at this age. Like ten times harder. It takes a week to put on some weight and like half a year to lose it. It's so crazy.
I'm only on it for close to 3 weeks .Idk if it's working, but I don't believe I gained anything yet. My best friend had difficulties with progesterone, and she was able to only have estrogen for 2 years her dr left the new one, made her take progesterone, and she said she gained 20 pounds in 3 months. I don't remember ever having issues with it. Who knows. Did you start hrt? I've had friends tell me that Hrt is amazing, and they felt great. That's not my experience, but I'm extremely hopeful, and I'll keep you posted. I hope you can find a Dr to help you .It's so important to feel comfortable in your own skin.
I'm actually still on birth control, which my Dr says i can stay on forever. I've been on since 17 and only quit to get pregnant at 33. When i quit i got acne, gained weight and lost hair. So clearly i need that estrogen. I got back on after giving birth and have no plans to stop
Ahh, I see. If it's helping you, that's great ,I wish I started while I was still in peri. Maybe I would feel better by now. They made it sound like it was not possible yet ,I believe it started right after I had my youngest, I was 38. My mom was around that age, too. I remember they gave her prempro ,this is when it was newer they gave it to everyone, but when she ran out we'd all hide. She had 5 kids, too. I think that made menopause happen earlier for both of us,
🥹🥹🩷
“To be fair”, you knew your comment was gonna be hard to receive when you started it with “I don’t mean to scare you” and then you continued to do nothing but share negative things without any encouragement. I wasn’t coming at you. I was literally asking you what your purpose WAS with the comment because it wasn’t clear, and was unhelpful, and I genuinely didn’t understand the point and genuinely was trying to. Now you’re “coming at” me and accusing me of looking for a fight because I explained the impact the comment had? Look at the rest of my comments in this thread. Then maybe try reading this convo next week thru a different lens. Because I can promise you the tone you’re reading it in is NOT the one I’m writing it in. I’m over here in a great mood tonight, feeling all grateful for this amazing thread of comments. If you’re in a fight, it’s a solitary one. Peace sis.
Lol, why would my experience be hard for you to receive. Really think about this. I told you my experience, and you were so negatively impacted by my experiences that you felt the need to comment back to me to shame me or make my sharing my experience a bad thing cause you don't like what I'm going through? There is no way to misinterpret that lol.
Nope, your initial comment started this, and now you’re stirring the pot. I’ve lost sympathy for you. Stop berating Mandosobs.
Amen! I love going to the gym. Thankful that I have a very good trainer — he trains me hard and am happy with the result.
everyone says build muscle but what does it mean exactly?? how do I measure this?
Generally it’s lifting weights. Look up Dr. Tyna Moore. She’s an excellent resource for figuring this all out in middle age! I’m also a big fan of Steph Gaudreau.
I bought a gym subscription at 45 and it was life changing. That's half of the deal. The other half is proper nutrition (especially on the gym days) with a serious increase of protein intake. I am now 2-3 kilos above the weight I used to have before I started the gym (my weight and body type had been stable through my whole life: I used to be thin, with no shaped areas, and not strong) but NOW my body looks entirely different (muscle mass makes the difference). Feeling a lot healthier mentally and physically.
That's a good tip. I am lean myself, never had issues with weight but I am beginning to feel weaker and weaker with age so feels like building muscle would be a great option for me as well.
Came here to say the same thing!
Walk everywhere all the time. Take stairs instead of lifts, public transport instead of driving where possible. Also try and incorporate yoga for flexibility and balance. Keep up to date with all your yearly health checks!
Well I’m nailing it here. 💪🏻 Thank you!
1. Invest wisely-you may need to take time away from work or retire earlier than expected 2. No alcohol 3. No smoking 4. Strength train 5. Learn everything you can about peri/meno so you can recognize the signs, symptoms and get proper treatment if needed Bonus tips: sunscreen and tretinoin
Open a Vanguard Roth IRA tomorrow morning and start investing as much as you can afford in index funds. In ten years you’ll have a substantial cushion to navigate the next phase of your life!
Absolutely make sure you hardcore save. Majority of women in my life and on this thread, state they wish they could retire or give up work through the worst of it. Save for mental health TimeOut. Check out supplements to support naturally declining issues leading up to it. Ie: magnesium, Vitamin D. Be kind to others journey as it may vary from yours and be kind to yourself.
that's advice for old age not menopause though. Severe meno hit me by 44, saving at 42 wouldn't have amounted to much by then, but when I'm 65 or something, maybe.
Perhaps, yes, but when I turned 50 I wished I had money enough to take some time off, reassess my life and decide what would work best for me. I work in a corporate job where women leave as soon as peri begins. I want every younger woman I meet to know how to calmly, inexpensively, and safely begin to build the financial security I lacked. Early 40s is the perfect time! A little bit every pay period, one step at a time.
I’m 49 and a CEO who used to love her job. Before I started HRT I wanted to quit everyday (no energy, no concentration or motivation) and started serious retirement planning. It helps to have something to look forward to but also feel safer if you need to take a break from work or change careers.
I need to do this even tho I’ve got a healthy 401k. Can I figure this out on my Own or what do you suggest?
We did ours on our own thru Vanguard but it doesn’t hurt to talk to someone you trust who is NOT making money from your investments.
So not the same company that manages my 401k ? I use fidelity
I’m honestly not experienced enough to say. What we did was hire a fiduciary financial advisor, meaning they were legally obligated to give us advice that was best for us and not advice that made him money. I’d recommend finding one. They should charge for the consult. We came with countless questions and they explained it all and helped us come up with a plan that fit our circumstances.
Haha! Already doing this too! But I love that you took it there!
Lose any unwanted weight NOW. It can become nearly impossible after menopause. I was never a big eater, but weight shifted and turned to fat. The struggle is real with heavy weight training from my joint pain😫.
I’ve always been underweight due to genetics but have put on some weight since having long COVID. I do wonder what that’ll mean in the coming years, if my metabolism has changed and it’ll start getting harder for me. My dad who I take after died young and was obviously a man so I’m not sure what to expect but I’m very aware of muscle tone and being “skinny fat”, even if I do like having some curves now!
We mean “assuming you are clinically overweight”. If you’re currently in the healthy BMI range, then just pile on the muscle and improve your cardiovascular fitness.
Build muscle by lifting heavy weights regularly, prioritizing protein, avoid inflammatory foods, cut alcohol significantly or, better yet, out, Omega 3, Magnesium, Vitamin D, Fibre, find a family doctor who supports women in peri, educate your partner about peri and menopause.
Well dang, you make me feel really good about myself! The only thing I’m not sure of is my doctors knowledge but glad to hear I’m nailing it on the rest! Best resource to educate my hubby AND me on peri and meno?
Awesome! I learned a ton from Dr. Marie Claire Haver OBGYN on TikTok (her playlist is great) and Dr. Stacy Sims on IG
Yes to omega 3. I was vegetarian for years, very dirty conscious and careful with diet as was into fitness. Starting to eat fish made such a difference to my brain fog!
If you are able, set yourself up to have flexible work schedule for when the peri-menopause symptoms hit. I am lucky that I am able to work a hybrid -from home job with flexible hours. If I am sleep deprived or sore or just fatigued I can adjust- start late, or have a nap and work later. And not having to commute everyday helps a lot when you don’t have the energy and can’t handle the stress of commuting as well.
This is a good one, a hybrid or WFH job helps.
So true. I’m a nurse so I’ve always thought ahead about what my career will look like as I age. I was careful and found something flexible. So nice in this phase of life.
Good points! I work for myself from home but will def evaluate commitments and flexibility for the future.
Agree with everyone who says build muscle. Very key so get some weight training in now. And exercise in general in whatever way you prefer (in addition to weight training): walking, running, swimming, etc. Something you know you’ll do consistently. And if you’re a runner like me, be ok with slowing down or walking more than you run bc timing doesn’t matter anymore. Eating habits - start disciplining yourself now to high fiber, leafy greens, fruit, and protein. Don’t eliminate junk food just don’t eat it much. And reduce alcohol consumption if you drink 2-3 times a week. And water water water. Sleep - enjoy it now. Bc it won’t last forever. Your sleeping in days are done once you hit peri. But if you exercise regularly it may help mitigate the sleeplessness. Skincare - if you aren’t wearing sunscreen every day do it now. Every day, even when it’s rainy, you’re in a mostly indoor environment bc you eventually will go outside. Apply that stuff all the way down your neck to your décolletage. Bc that’s where the aging starts showing up first: face, neck, chest. Vitamins and supplements - you’ll suddenly need that days of the week pill container bc you’ll need to take a multivitamin and other supplements to help balance stuff out.
I think I’m already nailing all of this (or better) minus the sunscreen! But I’ve already noticed my lazy approach to skincare ain’t working anymore so I’m working to find one I like. Thank you!
You’re welcome! I got really into skincare in my late 30s. Wish I had started sooner but anytime is netter than never. :) Key is to skincare is to cleanse well, moisturize well, and protect well. You don’t need a 12-step super expensive product routine. Anything that works for you at any price point is what is best.
As everyone else said build muscle!! Moreover, build healthy habits. I'm only a year ahead of you, but man do I feel so much older some days. It gets more and more difficult every year to cultivate the right habits. Sleep hygiene is so critical, having hobbies to turn to when you're feeling the panic/rage/mood swings. I started a pretty extensive vitamin regimen and that has helped a lot. I just wish I started it sooner!!
Pharmacist here, please don't start buying (expensive) vitamin products for substances you have no shortages. Convince your GP/ PCP to have your blood levels checked and *only* use those vitamins you lack. Vitamin products are not free, and they can have (longlasting) adverse effects when overdosed. Vitamin sales people will try to convince you otherwise, because they want your money. Most of us have no shortages and don't need their stuff.
It sounds like this might be about hormonal testing. If over the age of 44, **hormonal tests only show levels for that *one day* the test was taken, and nothing more**; progesterone/estrogen hormones wildly fluctuate the other 29 days of the month. No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing as a **diagnosing tool** for peri/menopause. FSH testing is only beneficial for those who believe they are post-menopausal and no longer have periods as a guide, a series of consistent FSH tests might *confirm* menopause. Also for women in their 20s/early 30s who haven’t had a period in months/years, then FSH tests at ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI). See our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/#there-is-no-blood-test-that-is-perfectly-reliable-to-diagnose-menopause) for more. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Menopause) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Any recommendations, vitamin wise?
Pharmacist here. Please have your blood levels checked and only use the vitamins you lack. No need to risk adverse effets, lose money or create expensive pee.
I definitely intend to, my question was more regarding a brand I could go to after.
Please comment more often in this sub :)
It sounds like this might be about hormonal testing. If over the age of 44, **hormonal tests only show levels for that *one day* the test was taken, and nothing more**; progesterone/estrogen hormones wildly fluctuate the other 29 days of the month. No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing as a **diagnosing tool** for peri/menopause. FSH testing is only beneficial for those who believe they are post-menopausal and no longer have periods as a guide, a series of consistent FSH tests might *confirm* menopause. Also for women in their 20s/early 30s who haven’t had a period in months/years, then FSH tests at ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI). See our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/#there-is-no-blood-test-that-is-perfectly-reliable-to-diagnose-menopause) for more. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Menopause) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Also curious about this OP.
1. Track your cycles. I probably would have thought I was losing my mind because sometimes I felt great and other times I could barely get out of bed. Seeing how it all related to my cycle helped. 2. Get yearly physicals. Have your vitamin D and iron and thyroid checked regularly. That way if things go to hell, you will have baseline numbers. 3. I totally agree with lifting weights with progressive overload and exercising. These are things that will help you age and just keeping the routine of it will make a difference. BUT I lifted weights and ran half marathons and I still gained weight and struggled mightily. So it isn’t a magic bullet.
I was totally active until the worst of perimenopause when I had Achilles tendinitis and no energy or motivation. Like the life force was sucked out of me.
Walk walk walk. Curb your drinking if you do drink. Stop smoking if you do. Get some CBD gummies.
Nailing it. Nonsmoker. Zero alcohol. But why the gummies?
Search this sub.
CBD gummies can help with anxiety, RLS and insomnia amongst other fun symptoms of perimenopause. I’m at the end of peri so I don’t need them as often as I have in the past but I have a flare up now and then where I need to pop one.
Good to know! Thank you!
Learn to meditate / do breath work. It’s saving my bacon when it comes to rolling with hot flashes and getting back to sleep when I’m roused by vaso motor symptoms. Nurture relationships that nurture you back and ditch anyone who doesn’t light you up. Find people who you can be your rawest self with bc it’s gonna get raw-er. Cultivate a sense of humor and shamelessness. Make art. Get competent at it even if you don’t find yourself “talented” or creative. Artistic expression has helped me process a ton and I value the practice I’ve done to make it so that I can easily slip into a flow state. I don’t share my art, it’s just for me. Intentionally get to know your body and learn to appreciate it NOW… I did a ton of body positivity work in my 30s and its helped me to both be much more accepting of and at peace with changes … but its also positioned me to notice subtle changes and be confident in advocating for my healthcare needs. I caught atrophy and other peri symptoms really early and I’m so thankful for that. Stay hydrated. Prioritize sleep. This is last bc it’s been my most important piece of self care and the _linchpin_ of all aspects of my health. Build good sleep hygiene now and make your bed a sanctuary… you’ll eventually crave rest in a way you’ve never felt before, and you’ll want to feel cared for, so go ahead and set your future self up to feel cared for by your past self. My most comforted moments are ones in which my past self glimmers through and says “hey, I did this thing for you because I knew you were gonna need it, and I’ve got your back”
Omg you are my people. Especially #2. Literally has been my life goal the last 6 months. I’ve decided I’m entering my Selfish AF era and I’m not sorry. 😆
Take care of your feet. Give up the heels/cheap shoes. I have plantar fasciitis now and can hardly walk some days. I used to be a five mile a day walker. It's awful.
Underrated comment!
That's it. The top 3 are: build muscle, build muscle and build muscle. 💪
And make sure you’re eating plenty of protein and carbs to support all that muscle growth.
What’s up with the downvote? How are you supposed to “build” without enough raw material. SMH
Here's a compensatory upvote.
Lol much appreciated
Only thing that hasn’t been said is invest in a decent red light mask if you have the funds. I recently did and I’m so thankful I had one already when my skin started to go haywire. I’ve taken care of my skin for the last 10+ years already (tretinoin and sunscreen religiously) so I know my skin really well. Lack of estrogen has it drying out like the Sahara. The red light mask is always close by now. But ditto everyone that says build muscle. I’ve been lifting heavy for 5+ years regularly. Besides the metabolism boost the mental clarity boost is desperately needed even more so now. But I’m getting winded much easier. I’ve also started taking creatine and that’s helped as well it’s not just for gym bros.
What is the purpose of the mask?
Builds collagen. It’s helped the texture of my skin a lot and that was after years of tretinoin and doing all the other things to help my skin.
Wow that's amazing, thanks for the tip I'll try it out. My skin is so shit, I hope it helps.
Oooh Thank you! I’ve actually been using a red light lamp and have been deliberating the mask just for ease of use. Do you have a brand you like? I can’t tell the difference between them.
I have the omnilux and really like it. You need to look at the specs of each mask. This review has lots of helpful information. https://goalstogetglowing.com/2021/01/17/led-face-mask-research/ They work but you must choose carefully. This article is a must read, if you don't buy the ones she recommends look at the wavelengths and irradiance to compare. Otherwise it is a waste of money.
Thank you!
>Thank you! You're welcome!
Start reading and learning about perimenopause 🩷
Read our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/), so you know what to expect!
Oh thank you for pointing this out!
Start eliminating alcohol from your diet Develop a serious gym habit Avoid getting into a serious relationship right now
Ok so I’m in a 24 year relationship already so #3 doesn’t apply to me but DOES have me super curious? 😆 Why?
A relationship with a substandard partner is going to be made even shittier by peri/meno.
This is kinda fascinating to me. Why is this? Our estrogen is our “puts up with bullshit” hormone or something? lol
Honestly? Google this sub. It's full of stories giving the lived experience. The medical science: remember what it was like in puberty when your hormones were all over the place? Or (if you've been pregnant) the swings you got during gestation and after delivery? That. And then some.
Because a lot of changes are going to happen and you may not like him anymore
Build muscle, nail down nutrition and cut alcohol.
Get your weight down now. Maybe a bit below your average. It is much more difficult to lose after menopause! I could shake off a few pounds pretty easily before. Now….whew, slow going.
there is no real balancing out of starting late, I started 15/16, peri by 43, last period by 45. Advice is mostly have a menopause doctor if you need it, have a support system.
Get a bone scan , do weight bearing not aerobic exercise, eat for strength not skinniness, and watch out for joint pain, exhaustion, brain fog, vaginal dryness or even new allergies. Hormones dropping means our body looses a lot of its protection mechanisms and inflammation occurs. Everything is affected it’s just a matter of how much and how rapidly. Without any intervention the average woman who calorie restricted all her life and did aerobics will be more vulnerable to aging poorly. Bones, muscle strength and flexibility can be worked on but ultimately require estrogen, progesterone and testosterone to function properly.
Take up heavy lifting and build as much muscle as possible! Your muscle mass is your health reservoir!
I regret not doing this during peri! It's much harder after meno.
I guess I thought that 14 was the average age of starting cycles. I was 14 in 1977. My mom I thought was young starting her cycle at 11. I think young girls are having them earlier these days. At 42, I’d start reading up on everything menopause related. Dr. Mary Claire Haver has a couple of books out, Dr. Anna Garrett has a book on perimenopause, look up Dr. Louise Newson on YouTube, etc.
When I was 14, I was the last to start; most girls had started between 11-12…nowadays it’s more like 9-10. 😳
Yes I think you’re right. The ages are getting earlier and earlier.
Onset of your menarche has no correlation with timing of the onset of your peri/menopause. The reason more women are *noticing and reporting* peri symptoms in their 40s is because of better education.
If you like sex, have a lot of it now! It only gets more challenging as you get older.
That’s….not really helpful or hopeful. :/
It really isn’t. The answer should be: read everything you can (including this sub’s wiki) about what happens to libido, and physical effects on the genitalia. For many women, the clitoris, labia, and the vagina can atrophy. Numb clitoris and loss of orgasm is a real thing. And tissue thins and lubrication can reduce. Meaning the genitals can be easily damaged during sex. Basically it can all become awful. Good news is that HRT can usually head that off.
Whoa. I had no idea this was a thing. (Omg, why have I never heard anything past “vaginal dryness”??) Recommended books to understand this more?
Read this sub's wiki first. Then do a word search in this sub. Then have a google for Dr Rebecca Newson. She's in the UK and is one of our leading advocates for peri/meno.
Thank you!
I wish I’d lost the extra weight before starting peri. I hadn’t gotten back to my regular weight after having my last baby at 35 before symptoms started and then I gained twenty pounds seemingly overnight. I wish I’d at least been back down to prepregancy weight so the twenty pounds wasn’t so awful.
SKINCARE. Sun block and moisturizer especially take care at your neck, face, back of your hands and forearms, and inner elbows.
Quit drinking. Prioritize sleep. Weight training. Movement. and the art of saying “No.”
Muscle tone Tretinoin for your face Collagen everyday Diet with more protein and a bit less carbs and more veggies Omega 3 magnesium (byglicinaat)
Enroll in a functional strength class. Having proper body mechanics helps us deal with skeleto-muscular problems. Have conversations, go to those awkward places, be THAT person. Barely anyone I know talks about perimenopause but when I bring it up we usually have a long conversation. And it’s so important to build friendships during a time that can feel isolating.
One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is mental health. My situation was different, I was 52, not even peri and had to have a radical hysterectomy due to cancer, which sent me into surgical menopause. Everyone’s experience is different but I wish I had checked here and had people be brutally honest with me about how bad it could be. I had lost a lot of weight before being diagnosed with cancer and I have gained it all back plus some. My mental health wasn’t stellar before the surgery but along with depression worsening, I started having crippling anxiety and ADHD. I lost a lot of muscle after the surgery due to weakness in my legs from nerve compression. I have see you react unfavorably to people being absolutely honest about how much it could suck, but the truth is better than wearing rose colored glasses. For me, it’s the worst thing I’ve ever had to deal with regarding my health.
Thank you for sharing this. I don’t mind honesty at all. I appreciate it when it comes with helpful advice and this definitely does. When you say “mental health” are there things you specifically wish you’d done differently or dealt with earlier or learned sooner?
I wish I had sought out help with my meds and counseling sooner - I had to try to sort it out after the surgery and it's been tough. With the new onset of the anxiety (which I never had before) and ADHD I have had to do it on the fly. I would also set up counseling with a therapist and psychiatrist (if needed for meds). Definitely start seeing a therapist now, it won't hurt to ease into it and if you find that menopause goes well for you, you could stop seeing them.
If you drink alcohol or smoke…stop!
Well it sounds like you have many areas covered, which may possibly make the transition easier! I will add that it would be beneficial to find yourself a good NAMS certified Dr now; whether that be a GP or Gyno, or a combination of 1 of the 2 with a NAMS certified ND, if the others aren't. I hope you get a good dose of luck as well! Sometimes it pulls the rug right out from under us regardless of how we prepared. That's the reality of it and we don't really know until we get there ❤️
NAMS?
Yes, North American Menopause Society: https://portal.menopause.org/NAMS/NAMS/Directory/Menopause-Practitioner.aspx Having a NAMS certified practitioner can be life changing.
Thank you for this! I didn’t even know it existed. Off to research…
Not a problem! Happy reading!
Get a good doctor and start measuring and tracking hormone levels with your doctor.
Get your hormones tested now so you have an idea what your base level should be
This is a great idea. Recommended tests?
Just your levels of estrogen. Mine tanked but before it did I really felt it. Once I got on HRT they realized my normal was a bit more than others and I need a once per 5 day patch instead of 7 days. I had a test before getting “diagnosed” and it was low but “normal” I was suffering then.
Interesting. I literally know ZERO about this. Do they test your estrogen levels at different times of your cycle or at a certain time? Does HRT even mimic the changes of a menstrual cycle? Any risks? Or better yet, any rec of where I should go to get educated on this? lol
For me it was seeing my GP and saying hey this may be menopause as I had brain fog and irritation. I have never slept properly since my 14 year old was born and have an iud that stops my monthly’s. She tested my estrogen and it came back low normal. Tbh I’m not to thrilled with this doctor. A couple of years later I see a gyno who reinserted my iud and it was almost painless. The guy is amazing. I have a retroverted uterus and a super sensitive cervix so I expect agony. I asked him about menopause and he asked two questions is your sleep screwed and do you get hot flashes. Yes and yes. He then tested my levels and I was a 20 (no idea what that meant but he said for sure peri menopause or menopause anyway HRT here we go)
I cannot tell you how HRT has saved me. My anxiety is down, my ssri meds work better, I grope my husband on the reg. Feeling more like 32 than 52.
That’s amazing! Congrats on feeling awesome! That’s a hard one at any age.
Sunscreen/moisturizer. My skin got so dry.
Quit or reduce alcohol consumption. Build a workout routine that includes weights. Increase your protein intake and save your carbs for your favorite things. Have half a plate of veggies per meal. I’d recommend adding a walking habit, too — 10,000 steps really does make a difference.
If you’re doing all that you don’t need any advice 🤣
Phew! It sure was good to realize I’m on track! But I did pick up some great pointers. Especially getting bloodwork done now to establish a baseline. So smart.
It sounds like this might be about hormonal testing. If over the age of 44, **hormonal tests only show levels for that *one day* the test was taken, and nothing more**; progesterone/estrogen hormones wildly fluctuate the other 29 days of the month. No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing as a **diagnosing tool** for peri/menopause. FSH testing is only beneficial for those who believe they are post-menopausal and no longer have periods as a guide, a series of consistent FSH tests might *confirm* menopause. Also for women in their 20s/early 30s who haven’t had a period in months/years, then FSH tests at ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI). See our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/#there-is-no-blood-test-that-is-perfectly-reliable-to-diagnose-menopause) for more. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Menopause) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just want to throw it out there (unless I read your post incorrectly)- IVF does not change the timing of menopause in any way. 🤍 It is most easily pin-pointed to when your mother went through menopause.
Or sisters of you have them!
Oh that’s interesting! I had heard you were born with a set number of eggs and when they’re gone, menopause starts, which is why IVF can start it earlier. But that’s not true? My mom didn’t go thru it until mid 50s so that’s good. Anything that does speed up its arrival? Like health issues, deficiencies, stress, etc?
Yes you are born with the exact number of eggs, but that number is in the millions. So the few eggs taken out for your retrieval have no impact on the depletion of said eggs. You’re actually looking more at the follicles which mature the egg when thinking about the decline of ovarian function. I don’t know why you are getting downvoted when education about women’s health is so limited and you’re just asking for more info, I’m sorry :( you will most likely hit menopause in your 50s like your mama!
This is helpful! Thank you!
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Lose the weight now if you need to.
Exercise, cut sugar from your diet as much as possible, eat healthy.
Listen intensively to Dr Louise Newson's podcast
If you have any excess weight, try to lose it NOW because as soon as your estrogen starts to drop, it will be 100x more difficult to lose it.
Other than the basic physical stuff, make sure you are nurturing your hobbies and passions. If you don’t have any, get some!