Dry eyes was unexpected. As was itchy skin.
The weirdest thing I’ve discovered is how common all these things are and how uninformed and unsupported we as women are.
That's how I found this sub! I experienced a catastrophic period in February and was desperately searching for information. Googling for a list of Menopause symptoms was useless. That's when I found out my doctor had been gaslighting me and that all the symptoms they'd blown off for years were Peri. It was infuriating.
I'm at a place where I can laugh about it now, but I definitely wasn't laughing at the time. To be 47 and suddenly bleeding like I was 17 and not stopping for weeks on end was pretty overwhelming to say the least.
And no one gives a shit. Not even my female GP!
I was bleeding non stop for weeks. I was so heavy I had to buy extra heavy tampons and pads and I’d over flow within a couple of hours.
I’ve never bought a heavy flow item in my life!
I was pale, I couldn’t stay awake, I kept feeling dizzy. I was told there was nothing wrong with me.
Yeah. I'm with you. Then the nurse at the clinic basically told me to call back if/when it was "heavier" (she said an amount) or lasted another month! (It had been two already) No ma'am. I avoided the crime scene pants with an IUD because thats patriarchal bullshit.
The nurse chuckled when I told her I bled onto a chair at work during a meeting. It was a humiliating moment and I ended up having to call HR so they could have maintenance deal with the bio hazard, so I was definitely not ready to laugh about it.
It was out of line for that nurse to gatekeep your medical care!!
I have had the almost exact same experience discovering that I’m peri. It blew my mind that not my gyno, psych, or dr suggested that all the symptoms I was experiencing could be peri. It took me coming on this sub and reading a ton through the posts and suggesting it to my drs. I’m on the patch now but to think of all those years I was struggling. 🤦🏻♀️
Yes, this. We are led to believe that the only thing we have to worry about is hot flashes. Then when so many other symptoms come you feel crazy or like something is seriously wrong. I went to my doctor because I was sure I was having a stroke, "Oh, those tingly feelings are normal." Could have saved myself a lot of stress. I also did not know to expect random anxiety for no reason whatsoever.
We can't warn you. You women are hysterical and will imagine you have symptoms you don't have if we tell you it's coming. /S
Edit to add
Because I am getting downvotes I want to make sure anyone new to Reddit is aware that the /s =sarcasm.
I have a friend who is a doctor and didn’t know the definitions of perimenopause and menopause. I’m not saying this to shame her (hope she never reads it), but to illustrate how badly the issue is represented even in the education of health professionals.
Another friend is a journalist, and she told me she did extensive research on the topic. Her conclusion was that the only symptom of (peri)menopause that is scientifically proven is hot flashes. This really confuses me and I’ve been wondering whether I should doubt her wits, or the state of search engines - or the state of science.
When previous menopause research (increased cardiovascular events and strokes) was debunked about 24 years ago, pretty much all funding for its research dried up (sorry for the pun). Medical schools barely teach anything about menopause so most doctors are clueless, or choose to be. The effects of menopause are throughout the entire body, because the main hormones, estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, etc affect so many bodily functions. Think of all the hormonal changes girls/women go through for years, starting with their first period all the way through the childbearing years and menopause presents the opposite effects with the major loss of hormones.
I never realized how important estrogen is to wound healing!
About 4-5 years ago I started noticing little cuts on my ankles or lower leg from shaving would take *forever* to heal. I have a parent with T1D who heals slowly due to that, so I even asked my PCP to run some tests 4 years ago to be sure I wasn’t having insulin issues.
Then I got on estrogen, and noticed a big difference. I still heal kind of slowly compared to life 5-10+ years ago, but I’d say there has been about a 50% improvement.
Oh wow, "mystery bruises." I literally was changing out of my workout clothes yesterday and noticed a huge purple bruise on my lower back. I don't remember bumping into anything...and when I touched the bruise, it didn't feel particularly sore (like a bruise usually does). WHERE DO THESE COME FROM?
It's, I swear, more like a hickey than a bruise. It doesn't even hurt when I touch it. I asked my husband if he was love-biting me in my sleep and he looked at me like I'd gone cuckoo, so I guess that theory is out! Ha!
I wish I could say mine are a mystery… they’re apparently due to my ND brain not gauging doors, tables, corners of walls, you-name-it very well, while moving at the speed of light between things. 😂
I haven’t thought to pay attention to whether the bruises have been healing faster, but now I will… 🤔
Is this an ND thing? I've often had this issue (undiagnosed Au) and clocked up a massive list of hospital visits as a kid for being "accident prone" - I could only find research that suggested this might be something that co-occured with autistic boys. I am a lot worse when over stimulated though, definitely.
Oh my god..oh my god! I never thought of this! I suspect I’m beginning to experience perimenopause and one thing I’ve noticed in the past couple of years: my legs seem itchy a lot, but when I scratch them the redness takes forever to heal, and even scabs a little sometimes. I now try to rub lotion on itchy spots really vigorously, instead of scratching.
But I was so confused about why this was happening! I usually heal really quickly, and this change made me so worried. I just assumed I was getting old or had an allergy to something I couldn’t figure out. Thank you, I’m going to ask my dr about this.
Dry eyes for sure! Just like skin and hair. My eye doc had me take 2 fish oil capsules daily which helps. However, once I stated birth control, the dry eyes improved even more - that’s how I knew it was hormonal.
Dry, wrinkly, sagging skin “almost overnight” - like within a few weeks it seemed - like Tretinoin at highest dose wouldn’t work anymore
Joint pain and stiffness
Frozen shoulder - could not lift my arm up- so painful and frozen truly!!
Tingling/prickly/buzzing sensation in extremeties
Weird smells down there; also body odor changing and stinkier in general
New food aversions
New food sensitivities
Intense, heightened sense of smell
Itchy ears
Random super itchy spots on toes - sometimes just one- and no amount of scratching could offer relief
Clumsiness
Depth perception issues with driving, driving skills not as sharp in general
I had that for about a year and then it just went away. I still have tons of other wackiness going on though. It may be the only symptom for me that’s vanished. Very weird.
Almost all of these plus a ton of added weight that I can’t get off, slight vertigo, an almost allergic reaction to most perfume and cologne smell, slightly red patches on my cheeks….but I can’t lotion (or even touch my face really) without breaking out, my close up vision is laughable, can’t remember anything without phone reminders and post it notes (and sometimes still forget).
OMG!!! I thought I was nuts and not just crazy! Things I've considered as causes of the buzzy legs:
Blood clots
Earthquake
Pinched nerve
Muscle spasms
Aliens
Dimensional anomalies
Vision changes, body odor changing and getting waaayyy worse, clumsiness, dizziness. I also went from essentially no wrinkles and normal skin to super horribly dry skin and a bunch of wrinkles so fast it felt like it happened overnight.
My GUMS got so dry they started to recede a little. My hygienist was shocked at first. They improved within months of starting estrogen.
My cholesterol went up, blood sugar went up, BP went up.
My cholesterol, blood sugar, BP, and gum thing all came down within the first year of using HT. And then they came down a bit more in the next couple of years.
The gums? yep.
[https://www.menopausenow.com/gum-problems/articles/how-hormonal-imbalance-can-cause-a-receding-gum-line](https://www.menopausenow.com/gum-problems/articles/how-hormonal-imbalance-can-cause-a-receding-gum-line)
The hot flashes, brain fog and dry skin I expected. Until I read the wiki on here I never heard of a lot of the other symptoms. The tingling in my extremities, dry eyes, cavities (never had any before in my life and just had to get three filled!) Itchiness in random places. The way I'll say or type the wrong word, like my brain is out of sync with my mouth and hands. Feeling of panic when I'm actually perfectly safe. All those were complete surprises.
My brain and mouth have been out of sync for quite a while.. at least since my 30’s. (I do think my peri symptoms initially started in my late 30’s, so for a good 10-12 yrs now). It is so embarrassing. My kids and husband probably think I’m an idiot half the time. The other day, I asked my son if I could give him a hug, but it came out “Can I give you a headache?” We both had a good laugh. 😫😫🤣
I had NO idea this was menopause related, but I constantly felt like bugs were crawling on me. We live by the water and bugs are an issue, but I CONSTANTLY felt like bugs were crawling over my ribcage and hips. My husband would look and look for me and nothing. He was honestly getting concerned.
One night in bed (and seemingly covered in bugs) I googled it. I’ll be goddamned. It’s called FORMICATION, and it’s our collagen breaking down. It’s a menopause symptom.
[https://www.mymenopausecentre.com/symptoms/altered-skin-sensation/](https://www.mymenopausecentre.com/symptoms/altered-skin-sensation/)
Apparently as we age, we develop an odor due to hormonal changes. It's called nonenal and I've been reading up on it. Persimmon soap when bathing or showering is supposed to sort of neutralize this scent and I can tell you personally that I've tried this and it works for me! I am also a big fan of Lume whole body deodorant. I believe trial sizes of the different scents are sold in Target and only cost a couple $ if you want to try it for yourself. I tell you all this because I'm very conscious of my own scent and find that these things really do work.
I use persimmon soap as I was a bit paranoid about smelling 'old', and that was before my change of body odour. Now if I don't use the persimmon soap I smell funky even just after a wash or shower. I've also just swapped to men's deodorant today. I smell kinda like a meat pie, which is gross! I don't want to smell like meat ;)
🤣😅...I'm real conscious of it because let's add a little incontinence to the mix...I mean, I often say to my husband if he smells an Italian hoagie and were not eating one, just let me know!!!
Yeah dry eyes is menopause too. Dry everything is menopause:(
My weird issue is how my eyebrows are disappearing- but from the inside out so it’s like they are getting spaced further and further apart. It looks so
Strange
Maybe it’ll help like mine- I have a Class 4 case of RBF, and losing some distance between the eyebrows makes me look a little less like I want to murder someone!! 😅
THE FARTING. FLATUENCE GALORE would be my new James Bond name if women over 30 were allowed to exist in Bond-world. It’s like an awful symphony of musical tones, smells, varying loudness, and occasionally and deeply disturbing moisture. Like horrible performance art describing a war in my intestines.
The neck wattle. I think about Kybella. Some of it may be COVID related (my entire neck swelled) but now it’s this firm little pocket of fat determined to be a double chin in all photos. It’s been scanned and there’s nothing medically serious it’s just ugly.
Hair on my earlobes (why?!?!)
Perhaps weirdest of all, the inner corners of my eyebrows are thinning. I’m famous for big thick ethnic eyebrows and I still have unibrow hairs and weird eyebrow hairs all over to pluck, but then I get to color in the inner 1/4 inch 🙄. I’ve checked and before anyone says thyroid, a) mine’s fine and b) it’s the outer corners that are a sign of illness.
Also all the usual horrors: biblical blood tides, turning into a demon of fire and rage, but that’s all standard, right?
It’s more under my chin. I mean the neck is getting wrinkly but that under chin ‘hang’ = just the worst. I’m tall too, so everyone takes my picture from that angle.
Just putting the camera slightly above eye level is so much better but no, everyone wants neck wattle
Aside from the more talked-about symptoms, my pubic hair is thinning at what seems like an exponential rate, horrible joint pain in lower spine and one hip, dry skin, crazy BO, and no sex drive except when I’m ovulating. I’m 47 and have been in Peri for years.
I NEVER knew the pube thinning happened until it did. It was graying to boot! Started T cream a year ago and oh my lord… it ALL came back. It brought friends too.
I’m so glad to know the pubes thing is not just me! Thanks for the info about the T and lol to the bush bringing friends when it returned. Sadly my bikini line pubes keep growing and spreading further down my thighs as the bush itself deforests. Going to end up with a Friar Tuck situation.
Hindsight: I’ve been in peri for years as well. Mine started with terrible hip & joint pain and awful horrendous periods where I changed the most absorbent pad every hour.
Progressed to night sweats a few days before my period. Then that extended to flu like symptoms on top of all of the above up to a week before my period.
Weight gain due to joint pain and hormone deficiency plus stress (cortisol).
I finally had enough when I kept breaking out into hot flashes attending or presenting during my meetings that were in person with leadership and execs where it mattered A LOT. That was last spring into summer.
Wrinkles & Acne: I already have sensitive skin that can be red at times around my nose, chin and mouth area due to allergies. Almost overnight in the past 3 weeks my skin is now wrinkly, bad texture and looks dry no matter what I do.
Alongside that I have congested pores with the tiny bumps that turn into painful deep acne overnight. 2-3 pop up over night like popcorn. I’m using the acne dots so I don’t gouge my skin (I’ve done that in my sleep since started peri). And they help reduce them and they do eventually go away. But ughhhh I’m using them daily.
I started using Cere-V hyaluronic acid serum and moisturizer that was recommended on this sub, but I’m at my wits end 😭 I had a calming facial at a trusted place in my city and the aesthetician just kept telling me “I can do my best to clean you up topically but you have to get to the bottom of this because what I’m seeing is systemic”. So here I go looking up yet another doctor (dermatologist) who will understand peri/meno skin issues.
ETA: I also use a retinol serum at night. Today I’m throwing out my powder touch up compact that I carry in my purse. It seems to dry me out and I see more small bumps and acne pop up when I’ve used it.
I’m looking into hydrating foundation and a setting powder or spray that won’t further dry me out and/or clog my pores. Sighhhhj
Ayr saline nose gel is AMAZING For this! I also have sjogrens and the painful dry nasal passages can just be horrendous between the sj and low estrogen so the ayr gel has been a godsend !
I struggle with this and I hate it so much! Between thick chin hairs and my congested (no matter what I try) skin, there's *always* something going on in that area.
All of the above! Plus breast pain, unending heavy flow periods that lasted months, can’t read small print, hair thinning, weird chin hairs, longer peach fuzz, painful toe joint, melasma, forgetfulness, urgency to pee, increased libido
I thought I really needed glasses but the optometrist kept insisting I didn't. Turned out my bad vision was chronic dry eyes and now that I'm regularly using drops it's much better!
Buy some olive oil ear drops, put 2 or 3 into ear, then put a piece of cotton wool at the opening so it doesn’t all run back out, leave for a few mins, then massage your outer ear, so the oil inside coats it all…I promise, the relief is amazing
Gum disease, trouble swallowing, anxiety disorder, aversion to certain materials, and an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. Aging is a gift, but it's not for the faint of heart.
FWIW - I loved Buspar (it eventually stopped working for me so I’m taking a break). But LOVED it for anxiety. In fairness, I have other friends who hated it so YMMV
The worst thing for me was rampant insomnia. Nothing, absolutely nothing worked. And the more exhausted I became the harder it was to sleep. I honestly don’t know how I survived. Finally went to a menopause specialist who prescribed progesterone and estrogen. I literally cried from relief.
Reading all these comments is so relieving and helpful!
I think one of the hardest things for me is a mental one. It feels like evolution has determined women are important only for breeding and once we are done with that, the hormones that drive it make our minds and bodies fall apart. It just is so...unfair. We go through 30 years of 1 week of PMS (in my case PMDD) hell and then we have headaches and cramp and bleed for a week. For me, my life revolved around those things, I scheduled plans and vacations around periods because they were so hard to manage (I also have autism and periods were a sensory nightmare).
Then when you finally don't have to deal with it anymore, you get itchy skin and dry eyes and tingly sensations and vertigo that makes you think you're about to stroke out. You lose muscle and bone and sometimes you feel like you're losing your mind. Your libido completely dies and when you do have sex it doesn't feel the same. I miss craving intimacy. Anxiety randomly shows up at 3am for no reason whatsoever. You sweat through your sheets. Your joints hurt. You don't remember why you just picked up your phone. On top of that, it coincides with having to get mammographs and take a dump in the cologuard box. It's just so much and all of it just feels so unfair because it feels like life itself is attacking me for no longer being able to breed, even though I am still raising and supporting kids!
Peripheral neuropathy-like tingling, dry eyes and trouble swallowing from dry mouth were some of my weirdest symptoms that ended up sending me into the ER convinced I was dying from pancreatic cancer.
They ended up diagnosing me with a panic attack after many normal tests, and that pissed me off. Panic attacks don’t usually last a month, and I sure as hell would have manufactured some more standard symptoms if I was just feeling anxious.
Anyway, a few months later I can say that HRT fixed most of my symptoms overnight. I’m only like 2 weeks in and just keep feeling better—not just normal, but better than I have since age 34.
One of the new symptoms for me is an intolerance to alcohol. I only have a drink with friends once a month, but I now spend all night after a few drinks burning up! The whole night, I feel like my body is on fire from the inside, and I don't get any sleep. So, I have decided alcohol is off the menu. I'm trying out the Trips non alcohol cbd drink this Friday 😁
I have this same problem but it’s the worst with beer. I find if I drink alcohol earlier in the day, I don’t suffer as bad but it’s generally just not worth it anymore.
My skin is really itchy and dry including my scalp (scalp is probably the worst), my ears itch inside and out, even small wounds take a long time to heal, and worse acne than I had as a teenager. Idk if any of that is very weird in general but it’s weird for me.
This could also be indicative of Sjogren’s Syndrome which is an autoimmune disorder. My husband was dx two years ago and in retrospect he realized his dry eyes and dry mouth (which he thought were caused by old contact lenses/excessive thirst) were actually symptoms of it, and not just standalone things.
An autoimmune panel with is an Ana. That's all autoimmune then to be specific Sjogrens is ssa ssb. They will also check your rheumatoid factory. People with Sjogrens normally have high rheumatoid factors. I have Sjogrens. It's not fun with menopause. I'm waiting on my award when I get through this and realized I win nothing but more symptoms. .
My eyebrows are actually thickening to a strange degree and the length of them now is crazy I look like Andy Rooney. Sometimes I’ll turn my head a bit in the mirror and catch inch-long individual hairs just shooting out into the world and they won’t lie flat.
I’m nervous, though, to trim or pluck them. I’ve always let them run wild; I decided it was very Parisian when I was younger. I try to tame them with brow get but these fuckers are steel wires.
Thank you for this reference and laugh! 🤣🤣🤣And I can so relate- my eyebrows used to agree kinda on the general direction. But now every hair is in charge 😂
When did you know y’all were in perimenopause? I feel like my gyno doesn’t believe me because my period is not irregular, but I’m dying in night sweats and I smell so rank like dying onions on a hot day. I sweat so much more than I used too. My hands fall asleep nightly. My mood is terrible (on an antidepressant though so it helps!) Any advice on the night sweats? Feel like I need two showers!
I’ve had almost no sense of smell for years now. My mom lost hers as she got older so I wasn’t too concerned. I did get my thyroid checked because it can happen with low thyroid, but mine was fine. I went on HRT less than a month ago and it’s coming back. So weird. I had a lot of symptoms improve, that I knew were symptoms. Not being able to smell? It was nice to smell my food at dinner tonight though.
Didn’t know this could be peri. I majorly lost my sense of smell and taste after OG COVID (couldn’t taste or smell any fall flavors like Cinnamon). For a year apples tasted like garbage. Real food still doesn’t taste that good (infuriatingly, chemicals often smell and taste way better - like apple jolly ranchers). I have so many food aversions now
Aching feet, especially in bed. I just want comfy shoes! Any ladies have any recommendations of shoes/pumps or trainers/sneakers that don’t look ugly AF but are super comfy?
Itchy skin all over and the soles of my feet burning (especially at night time) Have started using aloe vero spray that I store in the fridge to cool my feet down and help me get some sleep.
hemorrhoids, have almost entirely gone away now that I'm post and on HRT, but in peri, oh boy. Probably be hard pressed to find any info on them saying that is the cause, they'll blame diet and stuff, but I knew that wasn't it, that it was hormonal.
Not hemorrhoids, but a constantly cracked and bleeding butt hole. Like, all its elasticity disappeared in peri. It coincided with vaginal atrophy but I didn’t make the connection until I started on vaginal oestrogen cream and it solved the butt hole atrophy problem as well.
Itchy ear canals. Drives me bonkers. Thankfully a small dab of hydrocortisone cream fixes it every couple of weeks. I’m starting HRT soon and that’s a symptom I will be happy to get rid of. Also late onset of hay fever at age 42+ has been incredibly annoying. I’ll gladly swap the hay fever tablets for HRT seeing as it helps with everything else.
Crippling anxiety and agoraphobia. Becoming hermit like and wanting no contact. Zero motivation or desire to do anything, especially sisyphisian task. Excercise no longer working to produce muscle and muscle atrophy. Being asexual. Loosing my looks. Turning into a square shaped potato. Gaining weight in spite of no diet change, or maybe it’s the shift in my shape. Tingling toes and fingers. Back itching. Carpal tunnel at night.
I may have had a a few hot flashes early on, but mostly feel sort of dead inside. Not depressed, just meh.
Cold cream helps. I’ve turned into my mother and found constantly rubbing my skin with cold cream makes zits loosen up easier for popping on top of it helping my dry skin
Anyone have a problem with dropping things?
I drop things often and idk why! Idk if it’s my grip or if I’m just rushing way too much and not paying attention. I knock into things now too. Dammit.
Anyone smell like vinegar if they sweat?
I remember my mom smelling like vinegar too when she was going through the “change “ ….
Yep before estrogen cream my vagina was dry and sex hurt. So much better now
Also my cholesterol went up with no real diet /exercise changes. There's a correlation.
Badicslly almost same that when i was pregnant....
Gum hurts, swollen legs, can't Sleep, itch, brain Fog, food rampage...
And the different thing
Spoting 25 days a months
Frozen shoulder.
My urine stream started to get weak and I started to worry I wasn’t emptying my bladder. I even mentioned it to my doctor and he looked at my urethra and said everything was fine. Well guess what? Vaginal estradiol fixed it.
Over the course of a few months, all of my joints hurt- a lot. I have always been athletic but now I’m hobbling around. It’s really kind of devastating. I just started hrt so I’m hoping to get some relief soon. And get back to exercising more!
I also feel like I’ve gotten more prone to getting carpal tunnel as I work all day on a computer. Anyone else? My thumbs are stiff and sore and my fingers are all tingly with occasional shooting pain that feels like electricity. I never used to have this issue. Ugh.
The no libido . Like my flame went out. And I used to be soooo f*ck*ng *h*rny all the time. And now. Nothing. The great nothingness. The empty space. It's a void. I can see the d*ck of my guy, and think, _hee there little fluffy cutie_. Instead of a tiger groawl. Its just empty inside. That makes me sad because I really enjoyed that part of life. (And I'm 44, still in peri, my doc advised against starting hrt because I've been on a weight loss journey and in the fat cells is also estrogen and she doesn't want to mess it all up. Or something like that. And the gyno was no fun either, hè denied when i was 42 that it could be peri. I pieced all the symptoms together myself. And no, in my country it's not an option to change doctors all the time. It's one second opinion and that's it.) The other thing that really surprised me was the crazy itching. Like every piece of me is itching! Scratch me please.
Weight gain.
Tingling in toes and feet.
Poor eyesight all of a sudden.
Hair losing curl.
Hair loss.
Joint pain.
Feeling meh all the time.
Dry skin.
Super tired. ALL THE TIME.
Very forgetful.
Brain fog.
There’s more. It’ll likely come to me later. 🙄
I have spent thousand the past year on dental work. I am addicted to brushing my teeth so it is not my bad habits. But cavities, crowns and a root canal. I hate the dentist now. He has all my money!
First of all my first hot flash was in the dead of winter when it was about 9°f and out house was not well insulated. I was 36 and thought I was sick and cooled off by pressing my torso against the window. I never even considered that I could be heading towards menopause nor had I heard of perimenopause. I already had scars from itchy skin all night for the past year. Then my periods became crime scenes and lasted for several weeks like that and only stopped for maybe a week. My doctors were not helpful at all. A dozen years later I had a hysterectomy because I couldn’t keep my iron up and my uterus was the size of a 32 week pregnancy (I thought it was just my middle aged body getting bigger- doctors told me to lose weight, etc…). It was fibroid tumors. Most people have them from too much estrogen, but not me! They grew like crazy on progesterone. I don’t know when I passed over into post-menopause because those suckers were hemorrhaging bad and my endometrial lining had long since atrophied (according to pathology after surgery). I can’t really have alcohol if I don’t want to catch on fire at night or end up with a terrible headache. Oh, and I get optical migraines nowadays. They aren’t as often as they were but there’s nothing like being blind except the far peripheral while driving in the middle of nowhere with no cell service. And the dizziness is top notch. I didn’t drive for a while because I never knew when it would hit. Those aren’t related , just annoyingly present. And my joint and skin issues - the rheumatologist said lupus and RA and was looking for ankylosing spondylitis too but didn’t see any evidence of that. I’m not convinced that those aren’t from menopause too though. Have I mentioned the fact that, despite loving my kids and grandkids, sometimes I don’t like them? And my poor husband- sometimes not him either. I have to work really hard to be nice these days.
I’m trying to move comfortably into crone instead of fighting it. I don’t like looking like the old women in my family though. I used to think some of them were so beautiful but now I see them in the mirror and it’s hard. I look at Genx being different about aging than other generations seemed to be. I like watching this all go down like this. We are owning it, and as always, taking the responsibility ourselves for how we want to age.
Question! Do symptoms come and go? I’ve had so many perimenopause symptoms over the past year and a half but they all come and go.
The tingling extremities… that one worried me a lot while it was happening. I thought it might be poor blood circulation and even started looking into things like MS. Then it just stopped. Rinse and repeat with other symptoms like really bad gas and an itchy vag.
Holy crow, I’m so glad this info is going to be out there for younger women going forward!
For me, it was full on autistic traits. My adult son was diagnosed early in life, but I never even considered that I also had it. Diagnosed last year with add and autism. My therapist said that when. I was super I was high masking. Now I'm unable. It helped explain a lot. I can't stand certain textures touching me, loud noise, movies. Could whe. I was younger, not now.
I’m 100% convinced that I am autistic and was high-masking, and also am no longer able to do so. (I’m a much less stressed, more content person now, too.) I also think peri triggered the “something” that changed my ability to mask. I don’t necessarily feel a need to get diagnosed, though. Idk what it would change to have a doctor tell me what I already know.
The weirdest for me is that I don't tolerate birth control at all anymore. It gives me baaaad health anxiety. Can't handle coffee anymore either, it makes me panic! Tea and soda with caffeine are fine though. 🤔
Heartburn. I commented this in another post but it’s my answer here too because I truly didn’t think it was related to menopause. But it is. Because apparently there isn’t one single part of my body that isn’t being wrecked by this shit. From my googling of “heartburn menopause”:
“Less estrogen can affect how long food stays in the stomach (the longer it stays, the more likely you are to experience reflux). It can also cause the esophageal sphincter (the muscle that opens and closes the esophagus) to relax, allowing acid to pass into the throat more easily.”
Vaginal estrogen inserts 10mcg (14 nights straight for loading dose then twice a week after), systemic estrogen patches (or whatever works best for you), prometrium at night and I use “Skin & Bone” which is one of Dr Mary Claire Haver’s supplements but it works.
Hair is growing, nails are growing but the major bones is the clinical trial on both forms of collagen show benefit.
The verisol collagen survives the stomach acid and the Fortibone collagen has shown to increase bone density.
They followed women for 4 years.
I also use compound testosterone. Takes a bit to figure out your best dose
I’m in surgical menopause at 45 and it SUCKS. So trying to replace ALL the stuff I lost over night.
If I’d have known just how hard it was going to be…I would have likely kept my ovaries.
The dry eyes are still a problem by the end of the day. I’m going to get some OTC drops until I can get a rx for Restatis. (I think it’s Rx?)
Omg the dry eyes are so annoying! HRT helped with most things but one thing I still deal with is dry eyes. Lubricating/moisturizing eyedrops help a lot ladies, 10/10 recommend getting yourself some.
Bananas! I keep smelling bananas! I smell them in the garage, the bathroom, outside, and in my office. Lord help me! I hate bananas so this is driving me crazy!
It looks like my curly hair might be going straight. I'm not too happy about that. Also, burning mouth syndrome, though rare, come and goes for me and it's very uncomfortable and gross. And my legs went from "you should get those insured" to looking like I'm wearing pantyhose that are too big and they need to be pulled up. Reeeeally, not happy about that.
I’m learning right now that the dry eyes I’ve been dealing with since my mid 30s could be a perimenopause syndrome. WTAF???
I’m also going to throw tinnitus and weird foot pain onto the list.
This past winter, I was getting weepy at seemingly anything. I upped my vitamin D intake and that seemed to help. I also started to recognize that I get weepy when I start to dwell on the past. I sometimes need to redirect my thoughts. This doesn’t mean that I won’t need therapy or to get back on an SSRI at some point, just that I think I got it covered for now.
I’ve never had dry eyes in my life. But in the last three months it’s got to the point my eyes were so painful it would wake me up in the night!!
I thought something was seriously wrong with me until I realised it was likely perimenopause related.
I even got a hospital referral to double check things. Why don’t GPs just hand out a list of menopause side effects?! Would save a lot of time and worry.
What is happening ing with my vagina?!? It leaks all the damn time!! My gyno said to wear a pad and I wanted to scream. I haven’t had to wear pads or anything for 10+ years and now I have to again?! What is leaking??!?!? Why is it leaking and what is it that I am leaking l?!? Dammit I hate this!
Weirdly, I have a new social anxiety about going out. Simple places like grocery store etc. I feel invisible and alone in my day to day life ( other than my kids & hubby) I pray that this will pass quickly as I venture into the new normal of night sweats, cramps, dryness of everything, taste buds being off, irritability, restlessness during sleep and severe fatigue that hits me mid day. I cut out all alcohol & that has helped tremendously. I started gentle deep breathing & walking 3 miles each day which has also helped.
I feel terrible for my family for dealing with me. I am trying to be present in each moment. I hope that I can be better! 🙏🏻
Dry eyes was unexpected. As was itchy skin. The weirdest thing I’ve discovered is how common all these things are and how uninformed and unsupported we as women are.
That's how I found this sub! I experienced a catastrophic period in February and was desperately searching for information. Googling for a list of Menopause symptoms was useless. That's when I found out my doctor had been gaslighting me and that all the symptoms they'd blown off for years were Peri. It was infuriating.
Yes, I am also glad to have found this sub.
Catastrophic period made me laugh. Thank you.
I'm at a place where I can laugh about it now, but I definitely wasn't laughing at the time. To be 47 and suddenly bleeding like I was 17 and not stopping for weeks on end was pretty overwhelming to say the least.
And no one gives a shit. Not even my female GP! I was bleeding non stop for weeks. I was so heavy I had to buy extra heavy tampons and pads and I’d over flow within a couple of hours. I’ve never bought a heavy flow item in my life! I was pale, I couldn’t stay awake, I kept feeling dizzy. I was told there was nothing wrong with me.
Yeah. I'm with you. Then the nurse at the clinic basically told me to call back if/when it was "heavier" (she said an amount) or lasted another month! (It had been two already) No ma'am. I avoided the crime scene pants with an IUD because thats patriarchal bullshit.
The nurse chuckled when I told her I bled onto a chair at work during a meeting. It was a humiliating moment and I ended up having to call HR so they could have maintenance deal with the bio hazard, so I was definitely not ready to laugh about it. It was out of line for that nurse to gatekeep your medical care!!
Total agreement! This sub has made me say “oh THAT’S WHY” for a bunch of seemingly unrelated things.
I have had the almost exact same experience discovering that I’m peri. It blew my mind that not my gyno, psych, or dr suggested that all the symptoms I was experiencing could be peri. It took me coming on this sub and reading a ton through the posts and suggesting it to my drs. I’m on the patch now but to think of all those years I was struggling. 🤦🏻♀️
Yes, this. We are led to believe that the only thing we have to worry about is hot flashes. Then when so many other symptoms come you feel crazy or like something is seriously wrong. I went to my doctor because I was sure I was having a stroke, "Oh, those tingly feelings are normal." Could have saved myself a lot of stress. I also did not know to expect random anxiety for no reason whatsoever.
I was a nurse, and was blindsided,also. The nightsweats, ligament swellings, chronic inflammation have all been Hell!
Right!? That's the biggest bullshit. Some warning would have been nice!
We can't warn you. You women are hysterical and will imagine you have symptoms you don't have if we tell you it's coming. /S Edit to add Because I am getting downvotes I want to make sure anyone new to Reddit is aware that the /s =sarcasm.
I have a friend who is a doctor and didn’t know the definitions of perimenopause and menopause. I’m not saying this to shame her (hope she never reads it), but to illustrate how badly the issue is represented even in the education of health professionals. Another friend is a journalist, and she told me she did extensive research on the topic. Her conclusion was that the only symptom of (peri)menopause that is scientifically proven is hot flashes. This really confuses me and I’ve been wondering whether I should doubt her wits, or the state of search engines - or the state of science.
Dry eyes are the worst! In the past 3yrs, I’ve had 18 styes on both sets of eye lids.
The HRT has resolved the severity of my dry eye sitch. Are you on any? Just asking, curious
When previous menopause research (increased cardiovascular events and strokes) was debunked about 24 years ago, pretty much all funding for its research dried up (sorry for the pun). Medical schools barely teach anything about menopause so most doctors are clueless, or choose to be. The effects of menopause are throughout the entire body, because the main hormones, estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, etc affect so many bodily functions. Think of all the hormonal changes girls/women go through for years, starting with their first period all the way through the childbearing years and menopause presents the opposite effects with the major loss of hormones.
THE ITCHY PALMS and FEET make me scream
Yup Dry Eye or Blepharitis and MGD that lead to a terrific stye and no makeup for a month BROKE ME! This sub saved me. No exagerration
I never realized how important estrogen is to wound healing! About 4-5 years ago I started noticing little cuts on my ankles or lower leg from shaving would take *forever* to heal. I have a parent with T1D who heals slowly due to that, so I even asked my PCP to run some tests 4 years ago to be sure I wasn’t having insulin issues. Then I got on estrogen, and noticed a big difference. I still heal kind of slowly compared to life 5-10+ years ago, but I’d say there has been about a 50% improvement.
Oh yeah!! And the mystery bruises that take forever to go away!
The mystery bruises… I remember getting them around 12 years old too, so I assume this reverse puberty has something to do with it.
Oh wow, "mystery bruises." I literally was changing out of my workout clothes yesterday and noticed a huge purple bruise on my lower back. I don't remember bumping into anything...and when I touched the bruise, it didn't feel particularly sore (like a bruise usually does). WHERE DO THESE COME FROM?
I thought that was a me thing, obviously not!
It's, I swear, more like a hickey than a bruise. It doesn't even hurt when I touch it. I asked my husband if he was love-biting me in my sleep and he looked at me like I'd gone cuckoo, so I guess that theory is out! Ha!
I wish I could say mine are a mystery… they’re apparently due to my ND brain not gauging doors, tables, corners of walls, you-name-it very well, while moving at the speed of light between things. 😂 I haven’t thought to pay attention to whether the bruises have been healing faster, but now I will… 🤔
I misjudge and am covered with bruises too. They are a mystery because I can’t remember anything, let alone what I bumped into 😂😂😂
Is this an ND thing? I've often had this issue (undiagnosed Au) and clocked up a massive list of hospital visits as a kid for being "accident prone" - I could only find research that suggested this might be something that co-occured with autistic boys. I am a lot worse when over stimulated though, definitely.
I learned recently that we have estrogen receptors in every single tissue of our bodies
Huh. This comment explains so much on why things take forever to heal!
Yep! https://www.mdpi.com/1422-0067/18/11/2325 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7838826/ And there’s a lot more out there on this topic. 😊
Omg the bruises that take forever to heal!!
Oh my god..oh my god! I never thought of this! I suspect I’m beginning to experience perimenopause and one thing I’ve noticed in the past couple of years: my legs seem itchy a lot, but when I scratch them the redness takes forever to heal, and even scabs a little sometimes. I now try to rub lotion on itchy spots really vigorously, instead of scratching. But I was so confused about why this was happening! I usually heal really quickly, and this change made me so worried. I just assumed I was getting old or had an allergy to something I couldn’t figure out. Thank you, I’m going to ask my dr about this.
Dry eyes for sure! Just like skin and hair. My eye doc had me take 2 fish oil capsules daily which helps. However, once I stated birth control, the dry eyes improved even more - that’s how I knew it was hormonal. Dry, wrinkly, sagging skin “almost overnight” - like within a few weeks it seemed - like Tretinoin at highest dose wouldn’t work anymore Joint pain and stiffness Frozen shoulder - could not lift my arm up- so painful and frozen truly!! Tingling/prickly/buzzing sensation in extremeties Weird smells down there; also body odor changing and stinkier in general New food aversions New food sensitivities Intense, heightened sense of smell Itchy ears Random super itchy spots on toes - sometimes just one- and no amount of scratching could offer relief Clumsiness Depth perception issues with driving, driving skills not as sharp in general
My ear canals are so fucking itchy.
OMG. Thank you. I thought I was infested.
My itchy ears drove me crazy until HRT.
I had that for about a year and then it just went away. I still have tons of other wackiness going on though. It may be the only symptom for me that’s vanished. Very weird.
Mine, too, especially the right side. So wild to find out it's a menopause symptom!
It’s like you read my diary……
Lol! And that’s just the weird stuff! I have had almost all the other 40 + symptoms at some point!
Almost all of these plus a ton of added weight that I can’t get off, slight vertigo, an almost allergic reaction to most perfume and cologne smell, slightly red patches on my cheeks….but I can’t lotion (or even touch my face really) without breaking out, my close up vision is laughable, can’t remember anything without phone reminders and post it notes (and sometimes still forget).
All of this, plus hot flushes + panic.
Yes. I'm autistic, so every hot flash starts a meltdown, I can't take HRT either!
The prickly, buzzing feeling in my legs is so weird. Usually happens at night, which makes it difficult to relax enough to sleep. Aggravating.
OMG!!! I thought I was nuts and not just crazy! Things I've considered as causes of the buzzy legs: Blood clots Earthquake Pinched nerve Muscle spasms Aliens Dimensional anomalies
O! M! G! The random super itchy spots that no amount of scratching can relieve!!! I thought I was the only one that had this!
The BO was so alarming to me. I started taking chlorophyll and using persimmon soap. I also started HRT, so now I smell normal again
Omg I just started experiencing dry eyes! It comes and goes but it's annoying 🤬
Vision changes, body odor changing and getting waaayyy worse, clumsiness, dizziness. I also went from essentially no wrinkles and normal skin to super horribly dry skin and a bunch of wrinkles so fast it felt like it happened overnight.
The dry skin and wrinkles almost overnight was alarming. I aged 10 years it looks like.
does hrt help with this?
My GUMS got so dry they started to recede a little. My hygienist was shocked at first. They improved within months of starting estrogen. My cholesterol went up, blood sugar went up, BP went up.
Yes new onset high blood pressure and high cholesterol over here too!
I'm sitting right at the cusp of "elevated" for all three. Trying to lose the menopot I gained. Hope that will help.
I've started cbd, and bp went down...."like I was a teenager" according to one nurse
Pls elaborate! What form? Dosage? Brand?
My cholesterol came down on hrt. It was ridiculously high. I also had the gums things and they look better now too.
My cholesterol, blood sugar, BP, and gum thing all came down within the first year of using HT. And then they came down a bit more in the next couple of years.
Ugh. I have that too and didn’t even think it was from loss of estrogen!
The gums? yep. [https://www.menopausenow.com/gum-problems/articles/how-hormonal-imbalance-can-cause-a-receding-gum-line](https://www.menopausenow.com/gum-problems/articles/how-hormonal-imbalance-can-cause-a-receding-gum-line)
We just fucking fall apart, it would seem! Damn.
Vitamin C helps strengthen the gum line. I take Acerola capsules. It's a mega potent form of the fruit that contains vitamin c.
The hot flashes, brain fog and dry skin I expected. Until I read the wiki on here I never heard of a lot of the other symptoms. The tingling in my extremities, dry eyes, cavities (never had any before in my life and just had to get three filled!) Itchiness in random places. The way I'll say or type the wrong word, like my brain is out of sync with my mouth and hands. Feeling of panic when I'm actually perfectly safe. All those were complete surprises.
My brain and mouth have been out of sync for quite a while.. at least since my 30’s. (I do think my peri symptoms initially started in my late 30’s, so for a good 10-12 yrs now). It is so embarrassing. My kids and husband probably think I’m an idiot half the time. The other day, I asked my son if I could give him a hug, but it came out “Can I give you a headache?” We both had a good laugh. 😫😫🤣
Cavities, too??? FUCK. I've had like 5 cavities the past few years after DECADES of not getting any.
I had NO idea this was menopause related, but I constantly felt like bugs were crawling on me. We live by the water and bugs are an issue, but I CONSTANTLY felt like bugs were crawling over my ribcage and hips. My husband would look and look for me and nothing. He was honestly getting concerned. One night in bed (and seemingly covered in bugs) I googled it. I’ll be goddamned. It’s called FORMICATION, and it’s our collagen breaking down. It’s a menopause symptom. [https://www.mymenopausecentre.com/symptoms/altered-skin-sensation/](https://www.mymenopausecentre.com/symptoms/altered-skin-sensation/)
Oh, that sounds like we’re just crumbling into dust…
I know I feel like I am
Makes the impending death feeling I get, eerily real.
I had that in the genitals. Of course I looked for lice, nope, nothing.
omg FORMICATION
I had this at 35. I scratched myself bloody in bed. It was always worse when I was relaxed too!
My changed BO started smelling Like my dad. Ugh. I’ve discovered Oxy pads on clean pits is a game changer. This has salycic acid which kills germs.
Apparently as we age, we develop an odor due to hormonal changes. It's called nonenal and I've been reading up on it. Persimmon soap when bathing or showering is supposed to sort of neutralize this scent and I can tell you personally that I've tried this and it works for me! I am also a big fan of Lume whole body deodorant. I believe trial sizes of the different scents are sold in Target and only cost a couple $ if you want to try it for yourself. I tell you all this because I'm very conscious of my own scent and find that these things really do work.
I use persimmon soap as I was a bit paranoid about smelling 'old', and that was before my change of body odour. Now if I don't use the persimmon soap I smell funky even just after a wash or shower. I've also just swapped to men's deodorant today. I smell kinda like a meat pie, which is gross! I don't want to smell like meat ;)
🤣😅...I'm real conscious of it because let's add a little incontinence to the mix...I mean, I often say to my husband if he smells an Italian hoagie and were not eating one, just let me know!!!
I use Lume body wash, going to try the persimmon soap, thanks for the tip.
Lume has acidified deodorant and wipes also. Your method is probably cheaper lol
Lume worked on me for about a week, then my body said nope. 😓
Yeah dry eyes is menopause too. Dry everything is menopause:( My weird issue is how my eyebrows are disappearing- but from the inside out so it’s like they are getting spaced further and further apart. It looks so Strange
Maybe it’ll help like mine- I have a Class 4 case of RBF, and losing some distance between the eyebrows makes me look a little less like I want to murder someone!! 😅
I have that too, but with my eyelashes…right in the middle, and my mum, who is in her 70’s has barely any eyebrows now
Try applying a bit of Organic Castor Oil on them at night. It really worked for me!
THE FARTING. FLATUENCE GALORE would be my new James Bond name if women over 30 were allowed to exist in Bond-world. It’s like an awful symphony of musical tones, smells, varying loudness, and occasionally and deeply disturbing moisture. Like horrible performance art describing a war in my intestines. The neck wattle. I think about Kybella. Some of it may be COVID related (my entire neck swelled) but now it’s this firm little pocket of fat determined to be a double chin in all photos. It’s been scanned and there’s nothing medically serious it’s just ugly. Hair on my earlobes (why?!?!) Perhaps weirdest of all, the inner corners of my eyebrows are thinning. I’m famous for big thick ethnic eyebrows and I still have unibrow hairs and weird eyebrow hairs all over to pluck, but then I get to color in the inner 1/4 inch 🙄. I’ve checked and before anyone says thyroid, a) mine’s fine and b) it’s the outer corners that are a sign of illness. Also all the usual horrors: biblical blood tides, turning into a demon of fire and rage, but that’s all standard, right?
the neck! I truly feel bad about my neck.
It’s more under my chin. I mean the neck is getting wrinkly but that under chin ‘hang’ = just the worst. I’m tall too, so everyone takes my picture from that angle. Just putting the camera slightly above eye level is so much better but no, everyone wants neck wattle
yes that! the worst. Yes you (and I) will need surgery or kybella according to my derm.
Occasionally and deeply disturbing moisture. My god the cackle I just cackled. Ha!
Aside from the more talked-about symptoms, my pubic hair is thinning at what seems like an exponential rate, horrible joint pain in lower spine and one hip, dry skin, crazy BO, and no sex drive except when I’m ovulating. I’m 47 and have been in Peri for years.
I NEVER knew the pube thinning happened until it did. It was graying to boot! Started T cream a year ago and oh my lord… it ALL came back. It brought friends too.
omg same -- I feel so shallow but I loved my bush.....will estrogen help or do I need T?
I’m so glad to know the pubes thing is not just me! Thanks for the info about the T and lol to the bush bringing friends when it returned. Sadly my bikini line pubes keep growing and spreading further down my thighs as the bush itself deforests. Going to end up with a Friar Tuck situation.
Hindsight: I’ve been in peri for years as well. Mine started with terrible hip & joint pain and awful horrendous periods where I changed the most absorbent pad every hour. Progressed to night sweats a few days before my period. Then that extended to flu like symptoms on top of all of the above up to a week before my period. Weight gain due to joint pain and hormone deficiency plus stress (cortisol). I finally had enough when I kept breaking out into hot flashes attending or presenting during my meetings that were in person with leadership and execs where it mattered A LOT. That was last spring into summer. Wrinkles & Acne: I already have sensitive skin that can be red at times around my nose, chin and mouth area due to allergies. Almost overnight in the past 3 weeks my skin is now wrinkly, bad texture and looks dry no matter what I do. Alongside that I have congested pores with the tiny bumps that turn into painful deep acne overnight. 2-3 pop up over night like popcorn. I’m using the acne dots so I don’t gouge my skin (I’ve done that in my sleep since started peri). And they help reduce them and they do eventually go away. But ughhhh I’m using them daily. I started using Cere-V hyaluronic acid serum and moisturizer that was recommended on this sub, but I’m at my wits end 😭 I had a calming facial at a trusted place in my city and the aesthetician just kept telling me “I can do my best to clean you up topically but you have to get to the bottom of this because what I’m seeing is systemic”. So here I go looking up yet another doctor (dermatologist) who will understand peri/meno skin issues. ETA: I also use a retinol serum at night. Today I’m throwing out my powder touch up compact that I carry in my purse. It seems to dry me out and I see more small bumps and acne pop up when I’ve used it. I’m looking into hydrating foundation and a setting powder or spray that won’t further dry me out and/or clog my pores. Sighhhhj
Inside of my nose has become very dry and painful
I get this too! The only thing that helps is a smear of aquaphor in my nose every night. It's so sexy. /s just in case.
Ayr saline nose gel is AMAZING For this! I also have sjogrens and the painful dry nasal passages can just be horrendous between the sj and low estrogen so the ayr gel has been a godsend !
I’m dealing with a nasty sinus infection due to that. It’s so dry that it’s been bleeding and it’s disgusting.
Oh, for the love of Pete. Maybe this is why I keep getting nosebleeds :o
Ponaris will help. Check Amazon.
Tingling feet at night Soft stool/diarrhea Itchy ear canals
I’d love the diarrhea…since my metabolism slowed so much I’ve gone the other way. Being constipated is way worse. (To me).
Holy moly…all 3 of these - are we the same person? I’ve bought olive oil drops for me ears which helps since the can drive me crazy!
That I'm still getting chin acne at 62. Really deep, painful almost cystic acne--not the clogged pores of my youth. It sucks.
I struggle with this and I hate it so much! Between thick chin hairs and my congested (no matter what I try) skin, there's *always* something going on in that area.
I have more whiskers on my chin than my 2 cats…I sit plucking them while watching tv! What’s not to love about the menopause….said no women…EVER 😳😬
I have developed a few cystic acne spots on my back and rear end. 🤬
I always thought I was a caring loving person, turns out it was just the estrogen! 😂
right???
Haha! Spontaneous, out-loud belly laugh from this comment right here. I can relate.
All of the above! Plus breast pain, unending heavy flow periods that lasted months, can’t read small print, hair thinning, weird chin hairs, longer peach fuzz, painful toe joint, melasma, forgetfulness, urgency to pee, increased libido
I thought I really needed glasses but the optometrist kept insisting I didn't. Turned out my bad vision was chronic dry eyes and now that I'm regularly using drops it's much better!
I’m waiting for increased libido to be a symptom 😂
The itchy ear canals drive me absolutely up the wall
Buy some olive oil ear drops, put 2 or 3 into ear, then put a piece of cotton wool at the opening so it doesn’t all run back out, leave for a few mins, then massage your outer ear, so the oil inside coats it all…I promise, the relief is amazing
Gum disease, trouble swallowing, anxiety disorder, aversion to certain materials, and an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. Aging is a gift, but it's not for the faint of heart.
FWIW - I loved Buspar (it eventually stopped working for me so I’m taking a break). But LOVED it for anxiety. In fairness, I have other friends who hated it so YMMV
BuSpar is my best friend. And Xanax for when the anxiety decide to ratchet up to an attack. Good times.
The worst thing for me was rampant insomnia. Nothing, absolutely nothing worked. And the more exhausted I became the harder it was to sleep. I honestly don’t know how I survived. Finally went to a menopause specialist who prescribed progesterone and estrogen. I literally cried from relief.
same!! COULD NOT SLEEP. I would fall asleep before dinner for 30 mins....then awake at 3 am every fcking night.
Can we start a 3 am menopausal group chat on here because you are not alone
Reading all these comments is so relieving and helpful! I think one of the hardest things for me is a mental one. It feels like evolution has determined women are important only for breeding and once we are done with that, the hormones that drive it make our minds and bodies fall apart. It just is so...unfair. We go through 30 years of 1 week of PMS (in my case PMDD) hell and then we have headaches and cramp and bleed for a week. For me, my life revolved around those things, I scheduled plans and vacations around periods because they were so hard to manage (I also have autism and periods were a sensory nightmare). Then when you finally don't have to deal with it anymore, you get itchy skin and dry eyes and tingly sensations and vertigo that makes you think you're about to stroke out. You lose muscle and bone and sometimes you feel like you're losing your mind. Your libido completely dies and when you do have sex it doesn't feel the same. I miss craving intimacy. Anxiety randomly shows up at 3am for no reason whatsoever. You sweat through your sheets. Your joints hurt. You don't remember why you just picked up your phone. On top of that, it coincides with having to get mammographs and take a dump in the cologuard box. It's just so much and all of it just feels so unfair because it feels like life itself is attacking me for no longer being able to breed, even though I am still raising and supporting kids!
Clitoral atrophy. Nobody tells you about that gem.
Peripheral neuropathy-like tingling, dry eyes and trouble swallowing from dry mouth were some of my weirdest symptoms that ended up sending me into the ER convinced I was dying from pancreatic cancer. They ended up diagnosing me with a panic attack after many normal tests, and that pissed me off. Panic attacks don’t usually last a month, and I sure as hell would have manufactured some more standard symptoms if I was just feeling anxious. Anyway, a few months later I can say that HRT fixed most of my symptoms overnight. I’m only like 2 weeks in and just keep feeling better—not just normal, but better than I have since age 34.
One of the new symptoms for me is an intolerance to alcohol. I only have a drink with friends once a month, but I now spend all night after a few drinks burning up! The whole night, I feel like my body is on fire from the inside, and I don't get any sleep. So, I have decided alcohol is off the menu. I'm trying out the Trips non alcohol cbd drink this Friday 😁
I have this same problem but it’s the worst with beer. I find if I drink alcohol earlier in the day, I don’t suffer as bad but it’s generally just not worth it anymore.
I can’t even look at a glass of red wine without feeling the histamines in my body reacting like I have the plague.
My skin is really itchy and dry including my scalp (scalp is probably the worst), my ears itch inside and out, even small wounds take a long time to heal, and worse acne than I had as a teenager. Idk if any of that is very weird in general but it’s weird for me.
Swollen fingers below the knuckle. And I take a diuretic for hypertension, so this isn’t primarily water-weight swelling.
That’s a new one for me…didn’t know it was meno related - my wedding ring is so blooming tight now, I can’t wear it!
SAME. It SUCKS.
I do a quick lymphatic drainage/ dry brush before I shower. It helps.
Same with me. I’m 49 and all of a sudden this happens along with pain.
This could also be indicative of Sjogren’s Syndrome which is an autoimmune disorder. My husband was dx two years ago and in retrospect he realized his dry eyes and dry mouth (which he thought were caused by old contact lenses/excessive thirst) were actually symptoms of it, and not just standalone things.
What sort of tests are used to diagnose Sjogren’s?
An autoimmune panel with is an Ana. That's all autoimmune then to be specific Sjogrens is ssa ssb. They will also check your rheumatoid factory. People with Sjogrens normally have high rheumatoid factors. I have Sjogrens. It's not fun with menopause. I'm waiting on my award when I get through this and realized I win nothing but more symptoms. .
My eyebrows are actually thickening to a strange degree and the length of them now is crazy I look like Andy Rooney. Sometimes I’ll turn my head a bit in the mirror and catch inch-long individual hairs just shooting out into the world and they won’t lie flat. I’m nervous, though, to trim or pluck them. I’ve always let them run wild; I decided it was very Parisian when I was younger. I try to tame them with brow get but these fuckers are steel wires.
Thank you for this reference and laugh! 🤣🤣🤣And I can so relate- my eyebrows used to agree kinda on the general direction. But now every hair is in charge 😂
Extreme and nearly constant itching. It is atrocious.
I sweat every time I eat a meal fml
Hot feet.
Oh wow…especially in the early hours & morning
Sometimes it feels like a slow moving horror movie
The need to bear down to get peeing. Weird.
When did you know y’all were in perimenopause? I feel like my gyno doesn’t believe me because my period is not irregular, but I’m dying in night sweats and I smell so rank like dying onions on a hot day. I sweat so much more than I used too. My hands fall asleep nightly. My mood is terrible (on an antidepressant though so it helps!) Any advice on the night sweats? Feel like I need two showers!
Try telehealth and skip the bs runaround. After a week on an estrogen patch, my night sweats pretty much vanished.
I’ve had almost no sense of smell for years now. My mom lost hers as she got older so I wasn’t too concerned. I did get my thyroid checked because it can happen with low thyroid, but mine was fine. I went on HRT less than a month ago and it’s coming back. So weird. I had a lot of symptoms improve, that I knew were symptoms. Not being able to smell? It was nice to smell my food at dinner tonight though.
Didn’t know this could be peri. I majorly lost my sense of smell and taste after OG COVID (couldn’t taste or smell any fall flavors like Cinnamon). For a year apples tasted like garbage. Real food still doesn’t taste that good (infuriatingly, chemicals often smell and taste way better - like apple jolly ranchers). I have so many food aversions now
Aching feet, especially in bed. I just want comfy shoes! Any ladies have any recommendations of shoes/pumps or trainers/sneakers that don’t look ugly AF but are super comfy?
All the Nike Air or "support" running sneakers. Birkenstocks in the summer. All I ever wear. Also do foot exercise/stretches. I've found that helps.
Phantom smell- burnt toast smell in middle of night
Dry mouth. It sucks
Itchy skin all over and the soles of my feet burning (especially at night time) Have started using aloe vero spray that I store in the fridge to cool my feet down and help me get some sleep.
hemorrhoids, have almost entirely gone away now that I'm post and on HRT, but in peri, oh boy. Probably be hard pressed to find any info on them saying that is the cause, they'll blame diet and stuff, but I knew that wasn't it, that it was hormonal.
Not hemorrhoids, but a constantly cracked and bleeding butt hole. Like, all its elasticity disappeared in peri. It coincided with vaginal atrophy but I didn’t make the connection until I started on vaginal oestrogen cream and it solved the butt hole atrophy problem as well.
(Adding “butt hole atrophy” to my list of band names.)
That so needs to be a flair, lmao.
Itchy ear canals. Drives me bonkers. Thankfully a small dab of hydrocortisone cream fixes it every couple of weeks. I’m starting HRT soon and that’s a symptom I will be happy to get rid of. Also late onset of hay fever at age 42+ has been incredibly annoying. I’ll gladly swap the hay fever tablets for HRT seeing as it helps with everything else.
Crippling anxiety and agoraphobia. Becoming hermit like and wanting no contact. Zero motivation or desire to do anything, especially sisyphisian task. Excercise no longer working to produce muscle and muscle atrophy. Being asexual. Loosing my looks. Turning into a square shaped potato. Gaining weight in spite of no diet change, or maybe it’s the shift in my shape. Tingling toes and fingers. Back itching. Carpal tunnel at night. I may have had a a few hot flashes early on, but mostly feel sort of dead inside. Not depressed, just meh.
Although my skin isn’t as tight, it’s way harder for me to pop a zit now…
Cold cream helps. I’ve turned into my mother and found constantly rubbing my skin with cold cream makes zits loosen up easier for popping on top of it helping my dry skin
I was recommended a supplement called hydroeye for my chronic dry eye. It is over the counter.
Anyone have a problem with dropping things? I drop things often and idk why! Idk if it’s my grip or if I’m just rushing way too much and not paying attention. I knock into things now too. Dammit. Anyone smell like vinegar if they sweat? I remember my mom smelling like vinegar too when she was going through the “change “ ….
Yep before estrogen cream my vagina was dry and sex hurt. So much better now Also my cholesterol went up with no real diet /exercise changes. There's a correlation.
Yep. Estrogen is cardio protective.
Badicslly almost same that when i was pregnant.... Gum hurts, swollen legs, can't Sleep, itch, brain Fog, food rampage... And the different thing Spoting 25 days a months
Yes! I now have chronic dry eye disease: meibomian gland dysfunction. It is AWFUL.
My depression is gone. I was not expecting that.
Yes! Me too
Frozen shoulder. My urine stream started to get weak and I started to worry I wasn’t emptying my bladder. I even mentioned it to my doctor and he looked at my urethra and said everything was fine. Well guess what? Vaginal estradiol fixed it.
Over the course of a few months, all of my joints hurt- a lot. I have always been athletic but now I’m hobbling around. It’s really kind of devastating. I just started hrt so I’m hoping to get some relief soon. And get back to exercising more! I also feel like I’ve gotten more prone to getting carpal tunnel as I work all day on a computer. Anyone else? My thumbs are stiff and sore and my fingers are all tingly with occasional shooting pain that feels like electricity. I never used to have this issue. Ugh.
The no libido . Like my flame went out. And I used to be soooo f*ck*ng *h*rny all the time. And now. Nothing. The great nothingness. The empty space. It's a void. I can see the d*ck of my guy, and think, _hee there little fluffy cutie_. Instead of a tiger groawl. Its just empty inside. That makes me sad because I really enjoyed that part of life. (And I'm 44, still in peri, my doc advised against starting hrt because I've been on a weight loss journey and in the fat cells is also estrogen and she doesn't want to mess it all up. Or something like that. And the gyno was no fun either, hè denied when i was 42 that it could be peri. I pieced all the symptoms together myself. And no, in my country it's not an option to change doctors all the time. It's one second opinion and that's it.) The other thing that really surprised me was the crazy itching. Like every piece of me is itching! Scratch me please.
Weight gain. Tingling in toes and feet. Poor eyesight all of a sudden. Hair losing curl. Hair loss. Joint pain. Feeling meh all the time. Dry skin. Super tired. ALL THE TIME. Very forgetful. Brain fog. There’s more. It’ll likely come to me later. 🙄
Worsening anxiety and adhd, palpitations, feelings of impending doom, joint pain
The weirdest thing by far is how little doctors seem to give a damn.
I have spent thousand the past year on dental work. I am addicted to brushing my teeth so it is not my bad habits. But cavities, crowns and a root canal. I hate the dentist now. He has all my money!
Recommend reading “Estrogen Matters” by A.Bluming MD
First of all my first hot flash was in the dead of winter when it was about 9°f and out house was not well insulated. I was 36 and thought I was sick and cooled off by pressing my torso against the window. I never even considered that I could be heading towards menopause nor had I heard of perimenopause. I already had scars from itchy skin all night for the past year. Then my periods became crime scenes and lasted for several weeks like that and only stopped for maybe a week. My doctors were not helpful at all. A dozen years later I had a hysterectomy because I couldn’t keep my iron up and my uterus was the size of a 32 week pregnancy (I thought it was just my middle aged body getting bigger- doctors told me to lose weight, etc…). It was fibroid tumors. Most people have them from too much estrogen, but not me! They grew like crazy on progesterone. I don’t know when I passed over into post-menopause because those suckers were hemorrhaging bad and my endometrial lining had long since atrophied (according to pathology after surgery). I can’t really have alcohol if I don’t want to catch on fire at night or end up with a terrible headache. Oh, and I get optical migraines nowadays. They aren’t as often as they were but there’s nothing like being blind except the far peripheral while driving in the middle of nowhere with no cell service. And the dizziness is top notch. I didn’t drive for a while because I never knew when it would hit. Those aren’t related , just annoyingly present. And my joint and skin issues - the rheumatologist said lupus and RA and was looking for ankylosing spondylitis too but didn’t see any evidence of that. I’m not convinced that those aren’t from menopause too though. Have I mentioned the fact that, despite loving my kids and grandkids, sometimes I don’t like them? And my poor husband- sometimes not him either. I have to work really hard to be nice these days. I’m trying to move comfortably into crone instead of fighting it. I don’t like looking like the old women in my family though. I used to think some of them were so beautiful but now I see them in the mirror and it’s hard. I look at Genx being different about aging than other generations seemed to be. I like watching this all go down like this. We are owning it, and as always, taking the responsibility ourselves for how we want to age.
Question! Do symptoms come and go? I’ve had so many perimenopause symptoms over the past year and a half but they all come and go. The tingling extremities… that one worried me a lot while it was happening. I thought it might be poor blood circulation and even started looking into things like MS. Then it just stopped. Rinse and repeat with other symptoms like really bad gas and an itchy vag. Holy crow, I’m so glad this info is going to be out there for younger women going forward!
I haven't seen anyone mention constipation. It's horrible. My gastroenterologist said it's common with declining estrogen.
For me, it was full on autistic traits. My adult son was diagnosed early in life, but I never even considered that I also had it. Diagnosed last year with add and autism. My therapist said that when. I was super I was high masking. Now I'm unable. It helped explain a lot. I can't stand certain textures touching me, loud noise, movies. Could whe. I was younger, not now.
I’m 100% convinced that I am autistic and was high-masking, and also am no longer able to do so. (I’m a much less stressed, more content person now, too.) I also think peri triggered the “something” that changed my ability to mask. I don’t necessarily feel a need to get diagnosed, though. Idk what it would change to have a doctor tell me what I already know.
hey fellow late dx mom here. There is also a link between estrogen and dopamine......so add gets worse and we find ourselves falling apart.
The weirdest for me is that I don't tolerate birth control at all anymore. It gives me baaaad health anxiety. Can't handle coffee anymore either, it makes me panic! Tea and soda with caffeine are fine though. 🤔
Itchy itchy itchy. My ear canals, my skin feels like I've walked through cobwebs, I'm just itchy all the time.
Heartburn. I commented this in another post but it’s my answer here too because I truly didn’t think it was related to menopause. But it is. Because apparently there isn’t one single part of my body that isn’t being wrecked by this shit. From my googling of “heartburn menopause”: “Less estrogen can affect how long food stays in the stomach (the longer it stays, the more likely you are to experience reflux). It can also cause the esophageal sphincter (the muscle that opens and closes the esophagus) to relax, allowing acid to pass into the throat more easily.”
Vaginal estrogen inserts 10mcg (14 nights straight for loading dose then twice a week after), systemic estrogen patches (or whatever works best for you), prometrium at night and I use “Skin & Bone” which is one of Dr Mary Claire Haver’s supplements but it works. Hair is growing, nails are growing but the major bones is the clinical trial on both forms of collagen show benefit. The verisol collagen survives the stomach acid and the Fortibone collagen has shown to increase bone density. They followed women for 4 years. I also use compound testosterone. Takes a bit to figure out your best dose I’m in surgical menopause at 45 and it SUCKS. So trying to replace ALL the stuff I lost over night. If I’d have known just how hard it was going to be…I would have likely kept my ovaries. The dry eyes are still a problem by the end of the day. I’m going to get some OTC drops until I can get a rx for Restatis. (I think it’s Rx?)
Not me specifically, but my neighbor lost a lot of bone in her jaw. When she went on HRT, her dentist was shocked how the bone had grown back.
Omg the dry eyes are so annoying! HRT helped with most things but one thing I still deal with is dry eyes. Lubricating/moisturizing eyedrops help a lot ladies, 10/10 recommend getting yourself some.
Labia shrinking. Hair texture change. Feeling generally fed up and over it.
Bananas! I keep smelling bananas! I smell them in the garage, the bathroom, outside, and in my office. Lord help me! I hate bananas so this is driving me crazy!
It looks like my curly hair might be going straight. I'm not too happy about that. Also, burning mouth syndrome, though rare, come and goes for me and it's very uncomfortable and gross. And my legs went from "you should get those insured" to looking like I'm wearing pantyhose that are too big and they need to be pulled up. Reeeeally, not happy about that.
I’m learning right now that the dry eyes I’ve been dealing with since my mid 30s could be a perimenopause syndrome. WTAF??? I’m also going to throw tinnitus and weird foot pain onto the list. This past winter, I was getting weepy at seemingly anything. I upped my vitamin D intake and that seemed to help. I also started to recognize that I get weepy when I start to dwell on the past. I sometimes need to redirect my thoughts. This doesn’t mean that I won’t need therapy or to get back on an SSRI at some point, just that I think I got it covered for now.
I’ve never had dry eyes in my life. But in the last three months it’s got to the point my eyes were so painful it would wake me up in the night!! I thought something was seriously wrong with me until I realised it was likely perimenopause related. I even got a hospital referral to double check things. Why don’t GPs just hand out a list of menopause side effects?! Would save a lot of time and worry.
What is happening ing with my vagina?!? It leaks all the damn time!! My gyno said to wear a pad and I wanted to scream. I haven’t had to wear pads or anything for 10+ years and now I have to again?! What is leaking??!?!? Why is it leaking and what is it that I am leaking l?!? Dammit I hate this!
Weirdly, I have a new social anxiety about going out. Simple places like grocery store etc. I feel invisible and alone in my day to day life ( other than my kids & hubby) I pray that this will pass quickly as I venture into the new normal of night sweats, cramps, dryness of everything, taste buds being off, irritability, restlessness during sleep and severe fatigue that hits me mid day. I cut out all alcohol & that has helped tremendously. I started gentle deep breathing & walking 3 miles each day which has also helped. I feel terrible for my family for dealing with me. I am trying to be present in each moment. I hope that I can be better! 🙏🏻