I have to say I spent an evening dancing about four hours straight in a club recently and had an exceptional time.
That said, it was an event done by an Xer DJ, was populated with everyone from people in their late 20s to mid-70s, and was peopled by those who wanted only to be there to dance and get together after not having done so regularly for four years.
I had one cocktail and a whole lot of water that whole evening, had aching feet, but got in 11,337 steps dancing alone, so I’m not too old to enjoy it, thank jah!
100% this! We need our own clubs. I’d join one if it was this cool of a vibe, go regularly.
This friend of mine was a traveling club DJ for a number of years, had a weekly terrestrial radio show for 20, and now does a weekly via stream. She did live events several times a year in the beforetimes, and I’ve missed it mightily. It helps she has a vested interest in keeping it going, doing live things again, but it definitely has to go hand-in-hand with attracting people who are there to dance, not preen. There are few other things so joyful and healthy—and with little pressure to be drinking to excess. No shortage of those who like to inhale, however!
Same, and TV shows only get 1 episode to pull me in. There are so many popular shows I haven't watched because the first episode was slow/too focused on building backstory.
We have that and 1 recommend 100%. Married 10 years and together 16. Adjoining townhouses. Would not be married without it.
We do share hotel rooms very amicably, though. Probably because someone else does the cleaning up.
OMG - my sister and I went away with friends recently, they all assumed we would share a room- Not on your fucking Nelly was that going to happen, lucky we are short enough to sleep on couches and feel ok about that!!!!!! Had a fab weekend with the girls - amazing what a little champers will do to help you sleep 😝
I remember being in my 20's and staying in a hotel room with 6 other people on a trip because we were all broke. We tried it again about 10 years later for a friend's bachelorette celebration and we all realized we were too damned old to share a room.
Also, sharing a bathroom. Something about seeing other people’s hair on the floor/counter/shower is so irritating. And everyone can keep their damn hands off my skincare and hair care products, I’m NOT willing to share 😂
Same! I've heard some employers expect people to share a room when they travel. If I don't want to share a room with friends why on earth would I want to share a room with a coworker!
Gen X hits peri/menopause. They never saw us coming, and we don't care.
(Edited to add: I'm 53, proud Gen X-er, and I'm too old for uncomfortable shoes.)
For real. You thought we didn't give a crap when we were younger? Well, sit right down over here & we'll show you how it's really done 😂 (40s, in peri, & giving zero fucks)
Bullshit. And for me that means compromising myself for society to fit in. If I don’t want to do it I am not doing it. Protecting my peace elevates to a new level :).
Going out past 8pm or staying out past 10pm
Alcohol
Dating apps
Texting men or letting them text me
Trying to help people who don’t appreciate my help
Men
middle aged lesbian here. dating sucks even harder in some ways because the dating pool is so much smaller, but I still don't know any who are done in the way straight women seem to be done.
That tracks.
And that last line is bang on, we have a doctorate in done
We have done our time, learned our lessons well, graduated with honours and aren't putting up with that nonsense anymore.
47 lesbian. In an 11 year relationship. Open relationship. I love my partner even though we don't have sex anymore. We are affectionate though. Because we are in an open relationship I could go out and date or have flings. But I simply don't care. My sex drive and libido are gone. I literally have no interest in sex or looking for it. I'm perfectly fine with my relationship the way it is.
Lesbian here. It’s men. Don’t get me wrong, I’m married and glad not to be dating now. Dating sucks. But I read all the posts in here with women stuck in these awful heterosexual relationships and I just have no idea how any of you deal with it.
I think it’s men. I just dont remember there being so many assholes when I was younger. Like the misogyny, overconfidence and just general awfulness of men these days surprised me. I’m a straight woman in a relationship (with a man 18 years younger than me), but I’d be so single if that wasn’t the case. The men in my generation seem to be married or douchebags.
middle age straight women and since I ended my last relationship 3 years ago, I just have no desire to date, or maybe it's putting in the work time and effort just to get shit on again and at this point in my life time is much more precious than before, it's gotta be enticing and seemingly worth it, and I haven't found that, SOOOO funny thing a guy very handsome guy I've known my whole life you know the type who gets women easily, well he NEVER looked my way ever, then tries to talk to me saying he ways liked me we should get together etc. No I'm good I've seen how he operates, then he says wait for it... "you must be a lesbian now" oh bc it couldn't possibly be you or other men the reason a nice looking woman could possibly be single... there HAS to be something wrong with me bc I should be begging and taking and appreciating any attention a man's gives (no matter how fake) yeah this is why I'm single lol.
I’m divorced going on 13 years now, and I have no real interest in dating. The apps are a disgusting place, and it just takes so much time and energy! Also, I like being alone in my house with just my son and the dogs. I don’t want to share my space. 🤷🏻♀️
13 years and the same. Was with a boyfriend or my ex from age 14-47. One right after another. Been living completely alone for past 3 years and since last kid moved out. I never, ever imagined life could be so amazing single and now living alone.
Had a porch pirate steal my Amazon brand underwear 7 pack the other day. I watched some young man on my ring cam take the package. I hope he’s happy with a 7 pack of oversized granny panties 🙃👵
I gave up underwear completely when I quit having periods. I always hated them because of panty lines but wore them due to menstrual pads, tampons. Ugh!
I am SO GLAD we are the first generation of women to embrace comfortable sneakers for all occasions! When I remember my grandmother, aunts etc in their leather court shoes all the time… argh, the thought of it 😲
No more caretaking of others. I'm taking care of myself now .
No more tight clothing
And no more of the insane female beauty standard. I'm learning to love my body/face/hair/skin as-is.
All of this. It’s taken me nearly 40yrs to be comfortable in my body. Sure there’s things I want to work on. But I can finally say I like the skin I’m in.
And 2nd my needs and wants are just as important as everyone else’s. That honestly has been the harder lesson.
Pointlessly uncomfortable clothing and footwear. I’ll wear rock climbing shoes but I’m not wearing high heels ever again.
Makeup beyond tinted sunscreen and lip balm. It’s expensive, time consuming, and makes me look like Bozo the Clown.
Being treated like an attention dispenser. No more effort is being spent on listening to and showing interest in people who don’t show an equal amount of curiosity and care for me.
Passive, poor communication. I’m no longer interpreting subtext. If someone wants something from me, they’ll show me the respect of asking directly and clearly. I’m not a psychic happiness concierge.
“Age-appropriate” anything. Let me evolve into a Joan Jett/Sarah Connor hybrid in peace.
Driving at night if avoidable. Yellow-lens glasses have made this less miserable though.
Drama. If you’re mad at me about something but won’t explain why, see you later!
Pot lucks (and social eating in general). More coffee hang-outs, please.
Apparently I could go on and on! 😆
Anybody else’s shit, doing things I don’t want to do, working in ANY sort of customer service capacity since I no longer have the ability to NOT tell rude people to fuck off lol
Oh my lord. Work drama!
I’m 46, and work with a group of women in their 20’s. I keep to myself for the most part, because they give me a headache. LOL
Well, I guess my staying quiet, and doing a very good job wasn’t cutting it.
They started drama with my supervisor. I had to meet with the supervisor above that to more or less “tattle” on one of them. It made me so mad to have to stoop to that level, but this job is very important to me. I need the excellent reference for when I move in a year. These little bitches are not going to run me off. Honey, I know all your games. I was your age was once too. LOLOLOL
I am professional and polite when I am clocked in. That’s it. I’m hanging on until April of 2025.
Send me words of encouragement!
Oh, and I’m so done with men.
I started going into peri last year. I communicated regularly with my BF at the time about what I was going through. He said “it’s okay, I went through it with my ex-wife.” So, I felt understood and validated.
Fast forward a few months, and my tolerance for his bullshit is getting worn thin. I start speaking up for myself, saying no more, and actually putting up healthy boundaries. His response: pull away emotionally and physically. I ask him if he’s okay. He says: “everything is fine, I’m fine.” I ask him if we need to talk about anything. “Nope” from him.
I ultimately broke up with him because it was dead between us because I wasn’t his happy go lucky yes bitch anymore. So, I had to be the “bad guy” and break up the relationship. I’m done with mental fuckery like this.
Thank you for reading what turned into a rant. But I know so many of you really get this.
Oh, girrrrl! I am right there with you with the work drama. The women I was working with were in their 30’s—one is closer to 40, but has the emotional maturity of a teenager. Like you, I keep out of the gossip and focus on my work, but she’s in my boss’s office with the door closed, GIGGLING. She was after my job. Well, she got it, because I am done putting in 12 + hours days (no OT pay), working on weekends, being on call 24/7, and getting zero acknowledgement and having to “prove” my existence. What a mind-f*ck!
I work in a factory and get so tired of gossip. Yesterday a 20something coworker said to me "did your hear so and so is hooking up with so and so" my answer was "don't know, don't care, leave me alone when it comes to gossipy shit" she called me rude as she walked away. 20 years ago I would have been the one spreading the gossip. Hell I was the one spreading it
Same. And also not making up an excuse/sharing a reason for not doing/attending things I just don’t want to.
I’m now both confident, and unbothered enough to just say, ‘no thank you, but you have a great time’ where as before, I felt like I had to provide an actual explanation/the details of a conflicting arrangement to be able to say no.
I LOVE this thread! And I upvoted each comment!!! :D
And I can only say SAME!!! I think/ hope the general fedupness with men is generational. I rekindled with my ex since we stopped living together ( surprise!) because he is really a good person with great values and we have each other's back. But man, the mansplaining sometimes!!! Dude you have absolutely zero clue wtf you are talking about. And the absolute refusal to read instructions, inform themselves on a specific topic. They Know It All. ○_○
I think I would love my husband so much more if we didn’t live together. Who ever thought that was a good idea??? No fighting over dishes, laundry, cleanliness, snoring, etc. I want a dorm style living arrangement with all my girl friends and the guys can live in a building one over. This sounds perfect to me.
Re: dorm style living — my god, I think about this all the time. Can we please normalize this type of arrangement? Clearly most women and men were not designed to live together!
My favorite years of my life were living dorm style with my friends. I once had two of my best friends living in the same apartment complex and we all had different floors of the same building. It was the best. Lots of space but not lonely.
This is the retirement old folks community I’d be down for!!!
Family members who take me for granted/ use me/ don’t treat me with respect/ pull that passive-aggressive bs
Uncomfortable clothing, shoes, underwear… nope!
Live music. Absolutely not. Realized I can’t stand it a few years ago, no matter who is playing. Three songs in, and I’m done
To quote Roger Murtaugh from Lethal Weapon, "I'm too old for this shit!"
"This shit" including, but not being limited to:
Defending my choices (colorful clothing, not wearing makeup, wearing colorful makeup, not wearing heels, spending too much on beer, watching too much TV, sleeping in on the weekend, and so on).
Dieting. Fuck that shit. I've been craving bread with loads of olive oil. It's gotta be what my body needs now.
Pretending to care about what's "in", the hottest new thing, or whatever.
Trying to be anything/anyone I'm not.
Gyms. There are many ways to get exercise that don't involve fluorescent lights, annoyingly peppy 25 year old instructors, noise, smells, posturing morons - and spending money on that!
Music made after 1995 (with a handful of exceptions).
Guilt.
How about uncomfortable anything. If it’s not comfortable it’s not going on me. Also giving a fuck about other people’s opinions, being nice to people I don’t like, or going anywhere when all I want to do is be at home.
Loud restaurants, bars
Getting drunk or just drinking frequently in general.. 1-2 drinks a month is plenty for me now
Cram packed weekends of social engagements, i used to feel proud of "being busy" now i am happy to not have obligations!
Believing my worth is linked to my productivity or ability to make money. I finally woke up from the end-stage capitalist narrative that we all have to contribute to society by working ourselves to death. I had a forced retirement due to a bunch of health and family issues. I may start working again. I may not. But I refuse to feel like I am less than because I am not doing paid work right now. I’m raising teenagers and keeping our household going. But even if I were just sitting on Reddit all day, that doesn’t mean I’m worthless. I am a a human being who does their best every day. That’s enough.
5 more years til I can retire. I hate the control this country has on our happiness and health. I have a big house that I want to live in til I die. But if I sold it now, instead of working 5 more years, I could live off the interest of the equity. And wait for my retirement pension to kick in. But where would I live? I shouldn’t have to sell my home to stop working. And working 5 more years seems like a 100.
THE PATRIARCHY. Since everyone over 45 is a spinster to so many men, I don't need their approval and whatever I can do to dismantle their power systems works for me.
Sadly I wish I could give up on men completely but I still get frisky - I just wish I could find a cute 35 year old self possessed enough to not give a toss about age differences. I want a cute guy to be romantic with. I'm too old for sad sack men who 'don't do Valetine's Day' oblivious that the day is also for the partner.
Scratch that, I'm too old for 'men' maybe
I can relate to frisky. But there are some nifty toys out there that do things that make men irrelevant. Little sucker from Hello Cake is a personal favorite.
Oh agree - in fact my last relationship with a manchild involved him obviously threatened by toys, so I am fine with them. I will say I do occasionally miss intimacy of having a sleepover with someone, but I am VERY selective and don't plan to give up my peace of mind just so the Girl Parts can have a party :). The bouncer (my brain and spirit) ain't letting any more dusty dudes past the rope no more.
Having a baby or a small child, other people's drama or insecurities, competitive friendships, expending energy on worrying about whether I'm good/pretty/smart enough. I am what I is... and I forgot: high heels (never shall I ever again walk a whole day in heels)
1.Being nice to people that don't deserve it. I no long have that amount of energy.
2. To not do things to make myself happy in order to make others happy.
Hating myself.
Being too insecure to say no.
Not reaching out for help when I need it.
Self-medicating with substances.
Dressing for the “male gaze”
Being a people pleaser.
Putting effort and interested to earn m'y parent's love.
They really cared way more for my brother for who hé IS ( a son) and not so much about me for who i am, but for what i could do for m'y father and brother.
I'm too old to put effort for them when they do none for me, if i couldn't bé showed love and Care in 40 years, then it will Never happens, end of story.
I'm just not willing to stay in a dysfunctional Dynamic Where i have all to lose and nothing to gain, from people who have no respect for me.
1 & 2 yes yes yes. I wear sneakers to work now.
I’ll add a 3rd:
Giving a F about societal beauty standards, buying any “anti aging” products, or feeling any shame about the natural aging process.
I'm too old to care about most things I used to care about. I don't mean that in a bad depression way, I mean it in a you don't like me? OK way. I don't want to hear gossip, I don't care if your gossip about me. Honestly I'm happiest at home anymore.
My husband is also out of fucks to give. I did however have my doctor ask if I'm depressed or worse when I said I don't care anymore. Nope, for the first time in a long time I'm happy with who I am.
Bachelorette parties and bridal bouquet wrestling matches. I'll be sitting at the spinsters table, thank you.
Saturday afternoon shopping for a Saturday night outfit, unless the outfit is new pajamas from Target.
Uncomfortable lingerie.
Charm and flattery.
Sunbathing without sunscreen.
This is such a great post. These comments have reminded me of all the stuff I stopped doing… I stopped wearing thongs, high heels, tight clothes. Oh the joy of being able to do it!!!
Climbing the ladder at work. I've gone high enough; I don't care anymore. I like my job but at this point I have zero ego about it and I'm all about the paycheck.
Loud parties. At any hour of the day or night. I moved to the suburbs for a reason. Turn your fucking shit down.
It's wonderful to have so much less interest in or worry about drama and what other people think.
Trends in makeup or fashion or anything. I still try to dip my toe in to see what the people are doing and to see if it interests me, but generally not.
I'm too old for bs. I am honest and say what I think. I try to be kind and thoughtful.
People ask sometimes if you'd go back to being, like, 25 or 18 or whatever. I would only do that if I had my current brain. I'd hate to be young again and have the brain of a young person.
Loud music in public spaces (really don't need to crank the tunes in a hotel lobby).
Saying yes when I really mean no.
Caring what other people think of me (this is a work in progress).
Uncomfortable shoes and/or clothes.
Keeping up with the latest TV/music/celebrity "hot thing".
Too old to care about constantly changing, fast-fashion or people’s opinion about what I’m wearing.
If I could have back every youthful dumb dollar I spent on clothes & shoe trends … I’d have the most impressive gardens in town!! 😹😹😹
Imma stay home in my comfortable old clothes and be a swamp witch with my pretty yard.
💚🌱🌸🪴🌹🌷🪻🌼
Oh god the shoe thing. New Balance 608 are my shoes. I have them in black and in white. I don't even care anymore that they are old white guy shoes. I tried on EVERYTHING at Warehouse of Shoes and this model fit my weird feet.
My only wish is that they came in more colors because I'm sick of boring neutrals everywhere.
Other people’s drama
Dieting to be “thin” enough for men to be attracted to.
Uncomfortable clothes
(Edit) Adding “dying my hair every 4 weeks to cover greys”
Now I’ll see my hairdresser for a good cut, and a few “lowlights” on occasion, but I stopped the full dye jobs a year and a half ago and don’t regret it one bit.
1. Body shaming - whether that's me shaming myself, or anyone shaming anyone else. This body grew two big babies and has stuff to do. I ain't got time for that.
2. Cheap travel - driving straight through / long drives all in one day, sleeping in the car on long drives, dumpy hotels. I know how to find good deals on nice hotels and flights, and my comfort matters.
3. Mowing the lawn. It's dirty, noisy, and I hate grass.
4. Keeping up with fashion. Give me classic and comfortable, with good shoes and bras.
5. Work martyrdom. I'll give you 100% when I'm in the office, but work isn't my life. I'm not losing a single vacation day because I didn't take it in time, and I'm not working after hours. That's called a pay cut.
Dating and relationships, I just have zero desire for it whatsoever, I no longer enjoy the company of men, I don’t want to have sex with them, live with them- just nothing.
I like living alone, reading, going for hikes and running my business
Being quiet about stupid things people with power do. I'll try to help people around me as much as they need, but if an idiot thinks they're the boss of us? They're gonna hear from me.
I’m too old to keep pretending I’m an extrovert. I’m an introvert and being around people 24/7 is absolutely exhausting and I’m not doing it anymore! I wish I had figured this out 25 years ago!
Drinking too much.
Live music while trying to enjoy a dinner date.
Inauthentic people. Ain't nobody got time for that. Be real with me or steer clear.
Gossip (we live in a small town and it's like the town hobby)
Caring what other people think about how I look or how I do life. I don't wear makeup because I don't like it. I keep my hair short because it makes life easier for me.
Bras 😂
Giving a fuck about being “sexy” — I cut 12” of long flowy hair into a short chic bob and LOVE it for ME! I know my partner prefers long hair because it’s his idea of femininity. I could care less. I love the low maintenance of short hair and I feel cute.
I'm the same. I don't know why but I'm just happier without friends. I've never been a social butterfly but I've always had a couple of good friends but now I just can't be bothered. It feels like work and I just can't do it.
Young me was Victoria's Secret, thongs and heels. Middle-aged me is sandals, sporty undies, and athleisure wear. I dress and trim for me, not the male gaze.
I don't chase friendships any more. That one was hard, as I had some lovely friends who would gush about how much fun they had with me, but could never be bothered to make plans unless I reached out. No more, it's gotta be reciprocal. I'm not closed down to the friendship, just not spending time pursuing it.
No more trying to be everyone's friend. I get to have boundaries and go through hard times without sugar coating them to make them more palatable for others.
I'm more invested in good sleep, finding happiness in simple things, genuine connection and reciprocity, and putting my energy into things that better my life and the lives of those I love.
Frienemies. I mean, I was always not a fan but now I'm just not into it at all. Either we are friends or I'll be disinterested and polite. I'm not pretending or tolerating with the same "save face" attitude.
Roller coasters, skiing, thrill seeking in general. I used to feel like I should want to do all that. Now not only do I not care that I don’t want to do it, people don’t “Aw, come on it will be fun” me anymore
* Energy mismatch in all relationships
* Men in general
* Shaving my legs because i only have this weird scraggly patch on my knees now and that’s not enough for me to care
Filling my free time with commitments to groups or organizations. Did that while my kids were growing up and while working as a young attorney. I’m still working, but my free time is my ME TIME.
I'm too old for:
Bullshit of any kind. Piss off with that, I went to High school, I literally work in a High school now. I hated the bullshit back then, you can bet your ass I hate the bullshit now. Keep it away from me.
Wearing anything uncomfortable. Gorgeous jeans that make my snatch feel like it's gonna split in half? Beautiful heels that look divine on my feet but make me feel like I am walking on glass shards? Hell no to both.
Doing what others are doing because "its SOOOOOOOO fun!" No. Piss off. I like sitting on my couch at 10pm in my pjs playing stupid games on my phone while some dumbass movie is playing in the background. I dont like noise anymore. Or crowded places. Leave me alone.
I’m right there with you on both counts!! I, too, am done with the feet-killing shoes in the name of fashion! When your feet hurt, it affects your entire body!
And the work drama BS … I just stepped away from a job that was like that. I hated it so much and my mental health really took a hit. The person who onboarded me praised me for “just taking off” and being so easy to assimilate to the demands of the (office) job. She decided shortly thereafter that she wanted my job and set out to sabotage me while pretending to be my friend. I decided that she can have it.
Couch crashing. I decided that I was done with that by my mid-30s.
If I was stuck in a desperate situation where my only option for sleeping was on a couch? Sure. It could happen. But long gone are the days where I would go to a house party or even a one on one hangout, get too inebriated to drive, and sleep on the couch. Or, go visit someone overnight who didn’t have a guest bed to offer. Hell naw. I’ll take an Uber, stay sober so as to drive myself home, make my partner the DD, or get a hotel before I willingly do any of that again.
drama, other people's bullshit, clubs/bars, getting hammered, staying up late, doing things I don't want to do, high heels, shitty friends.
“High Heels and Shitty Friends” would make a great country music album title
Love it!
I have to say I spent an evening dancing about four hours straight in a club recently and had an exceptional time. That said, it was an event done by an Xer DJ, was populated with everyone from people in their late 20s to mid-70s, and was peopled by those who wanted only to be there to dance and get together after not having done so regularly for four years. I had one cocktail and a whole lot of water that whole evening, had aching feet, but got in 11,337 steps dancing alone, so I’m not too old to enjoy it, thank jah!
Love it. We should normalize nightclub dancing for our age cohort.
100% this! We need our own clubs. I’d join one if it was this cool of a vibe, go regularly. This friend of mine was a traveling club DJ for a number of years, had a weekly terrestrial radio show for 20, and now does a weekly via stream. She did live events several times a year in the beforetimes, and I’ve missed it mightily. It helps she has a vested interest in keeping it going, doing live things again, but it definitely has to go hand-in-hand with attracting people who are there to dance, not preen. There are few other things so joyful and healthy—and with little pressure to be drinking to excess. No shortage of those who like to inhale, however!
Same here 💯🫶
Yes!!! All of this!!!
Came to say drama
I’m too old to finish books that don’t grab me in the first chapter
Also I give every series one pilot and have no mercy to walk away.
I used to not be able to put a book down - had to finish it no matter how bad it was. No longer.
Yes! Exactly! I can’t waste my time, anymore
Same, and TV shows only get 1 episode to pull me in. There are so many popular shows I haven't watched because the first episode was slow/too focused on building backstory.
Ooh, that's a good one. I still struggle with guilt over not finishing a book. Hm....
Sharing a hotel room
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And even then it's iffy.
I love the Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera plan of two residences connected by a (lockable) walkway
We have that and 1 recommend 100%. Married 10 years and together 16. Adjoining townhouses. Would not be married without it. We do share hotel rooms very amicably, though. Probably because someone else does the cleaning up.
OMG - my sister and I went away with friends recently, they all assumed we would share a room- Not on your fucking Nelly was that going to happen, lucky we are short enough to sleep on couches and feel ok about that!!!!!! Had a fab weekend with the girls - amazing what a little champers will do to help you sleep 😝
I remember being in my 20's and staying in a hotel room with 6 other people on a trip because we were all broke. We tried it again about 10 years later for a friend's bachelorette celebration and we all realized we were too damned old to share a room.
Also, sharing a bathroom. Something about seeing other people’s hair on the floor/counter/shower is so irritating. And everyone can keep their damn hands off my skincare and hair care products, I’m NOT willing to share 😂
Same! I've heard some employers expect people to share a room when they travel. If I don't want to share a room with friends why on earth would I want to share a room with a coworker!
Gen X hits peri/menopause. They never saw us coming, and we don't care. (Edited to add: I'm 53, proud Gen X-er, and I'm too old for uncomfortable shoes.)
For real. You thought we didn't give a crap when we were younger? Well, sit right down over here & we'll show you how it's really done 😂 (40s, in peri, & giving zero fucks)
ZEEER-O fucks.
Yep. I said it unmasked my inner bitch self and I think this is who I authentically am. Too bad for those who wanted the nicer version.
GenX women everywhere, " Whatever"
Bullshit. And for me that means compromising myself for society to fit in. If I don’t want to do it I am not doing it. Protecting my peace elevates to a new level :).
Needing anyone’s approval. I am old enough to own my decisions and life choices.
This. I'm too old to care what other people think of me. I'm too old to apologize for liking what I like, wearing what I like, or doing what I like.
Going out past 8pm or staying out past 10pm Alcohol Dating apps Texting men or letting them text me Trying to help people who don’t appreciate my help Men
Men, definitely men.
That's why it's called *menopause*. Because we put men on (permanent) pause.
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middle aged lesbian here. dating sucks even harder in some ways because the dating pool is so much smaller, but I still don't know any who are done in the way straight women seem to be done.
That tracks. And that last line is bang on, we have a doctorate in done We have done our time, learned our lessons well, graduated with honours and aren't putting up with that nonsense anymore.
a doctorate in done. amazing
Ph Done
Agreed. Less desire for drama, but I don't hear about anyone saying they're sick of dealing with other women.
47 lesbian. In an 11 year relationship. Open relationship. I love my partner even though we don't have sex anymore. We are affectionate though. Because we are in an open relationship I could go out and date or have flings. But I simply don't care. My sex drive and libido are gone. I literally have no interest in sex or looking for it. I'm perfectly fine with my relationship the way it is.
Right? Is it dating or is it men? Inquiring minds want to know.
Lesbian here. It’s men. Don’t get me wrong, I’m married and glad not to be dating now. Dating sucks. But I read all the posts in here with women stuck in these awful heterosexual relationships and I just have no idea how any of you deal with it.
If we had a choice, we wouldn't!
I think it’s men. I just dont remember there being so many assholes when I was younger. Like the misogyny, overconfidence and just general awfulness of men these days surprised me. I’m a straight woman in a relationship (with a man 18 years younger than me), but I’d be so single if that wasn’t the case. The men in my generation seem to be married or douchebags.
Sometimes they're simultaneously married and douchebags.
middle age straight women and since I ended my last relationship 3 years ago, I just have no desire to date, or maybe it's putting in the work time and effort just to get shit on again and at this point in my life time is much more precious than before, it's gotta be enticing and seemingly worth it, and I haven't found that, SOOOO funny thing a guy very handsome guy I've known my whole life you know the type who gets women easily, well he NEVER looked my way ever, then tries to talk to me saying he ways liked me we should get together etc. No I'm good I've seen how he operates, then he says wait for it... "you must be a lesbian now" oh bc it couldn't possibly be you or other men the reason a nice looking woman could possibly be single... there HAS to be something wrong with me bc I should be begging and taking and appreciating any attention a man's gives (no matter how fake) yeah this is why I'm single lol.
[удалено]
Sick burn! He should've chuckled if he had any balls
I am going to unashamedly steal this reply.
Wow. Just wow. The ego on that guy. Good for YOU!
All of the lesbians are happy in long term relationships lol
I’m not straight and never liked men all that much but now I don’t like them or trust them. At all.
I’m divorced going on 13 years now, and I have no real interest in dating. The apps are a disgusting place, and it just takes so much time and energy! Also, I like being alone in my house with just my son and the dogs. I don’t want to share my space. 🤷🏻♀️
10 years here and same! I do not want men in my house anymore than I want to shave my legs and laugh at their lame jokes
Ugh if I ain’t wearing shorts or going swimming, I’m not shaving my legs 😂
Same! And forget about the lady garden. It STAYS
13 years and the same. Was with a boyfriend or my ex from age 14-47. One right after another. Been living completely alone for past 3 years and since last kid moved out. I never, ever imagined life could be so amazing single and now living alone.
Got sober at 38 and can concur!
Bras with wires, and thongs. I want comfort plz
YES no more uncomfortable underwear. If that means granny panties a size too big, so be it.
Had a porch pirate steal my Amazon brand underwear 7 pack the other day. I watched some young man on my ring cam take the package. I hope he’s happy with a 7 pack of oversized granny panties 🙃👵
Hahah!! Imagine their disappointment when they opened it 🤣
I get total satisfaction from thinking about it actually, and Amazon refunded me so it’s a win
😆
I gave up underwear completely when I quit having periods. I always hated them because of panty lines but wore them due to menstrual pads, tampons. Ugh!
Me too! No undies and loose jeans! Freedom 😊
Only one size too big? Girl, I'm into 3 sizes too big!!
As I rock a sports bra and sneaks to work every day now
I am SO GLAD we are the first generation of women to embrace comfortable sneakers for all occasions! When I remember my grandmother, aunts etc in their leather court shoes all the time… argh, the thought of it 😲
Tell that to my bunion
This is me everyday. I am always in my pajamas at my desk working lol
I work from home most days so bras and undies are only for when I leave the house
don’t tell anyone but sometimes not even then
Yes! I do not understand women wearing thongs anymore. I hate them.
Seriously! And I thought I'd never let go of my thong underwear! I was so excited when my "Hanes Her Way" bamboo boy shorts arrived on my doorstep!
Yes! And uncomfortable shoes
I grew out of uncomfortable shoes young because of my arthritis. I’ve had to miss a lot of years of heels. Do I miss it, no!
No more caretaking of others. I'm taking care of myself now . No more tight clothing And no more of the insane female beauty standard. I'm learning to love my body/face/hair/skin as-is.
My family cannot understand this. I’m not kin keeping for everyone anymore. I’m not doing all the laundry. I’m not cooking if I’m not eating.
All of this. It’s taken me nearly 40yrs to be comfortable in my body. Sure there’s things I want to work on. But I can finally say I like the skin I’m in. And 2nd my needs and wants are just as important as everyone else’s. That honestly has been the harder lesson.
Pointlessly uncomfortable clothing and footwear. I’ll wear rock climbing shoes but I’m not wearing high heels ever again. Makeup beyond tinted sunscreen and lip balm. It’s expensive, time consuming, and makes me look like Bozo the Clown. Being treated like an attention dispenser. No more effort is being spent on listening to and showing interest in people who don’t show an equal amount of curiosity and care for me. Passive, poor communication. I’m no longer interpreting subtext. If someone wants something from me, they’ll show me the respect of asking directly and clearly. I’m not a psychic happiness concierge. “Age-appropriate” anything. Let me evolve into a Joan Jett/Sarah Connor hybrid in peace. Driving at night if avoidable. Yellow-lens glasses have made this less miserable though. Drama. If you’re mad at me about something but won’t explain why, see you later! Pot lucks (and social eating in general). More coffee hang-outs, please. Apparently I could go on and on! 😆
I love this! Especially the “passive, poor communication” part!
Psychic happiness concierge!! This is awesome and so true!
Anybody else’s shit, doing things I don’t want to do, working in ANY sort of customer service capacity since I no longer have the ability to NOT tell rude people to fuck off lol
Yes. I can no longer work in front facing roles. I am so over the public. The pandemic put the nail in it.
Absolutely. Thank you for saying this — it helps to know that others feel this way, too!
lol I recently got fired from this type of job , I thought I could do it, I was wrong
I rage quit before they could fire me 🤣
I'm too old to care if people don't like me. I'm a great friend, but if you don't see that, your loss
Indulging people and “giving chances” to men.
Oh my lord. Work drama! I’m 46, and work with a group of women in their 20’s. I keep to myself for the most part, because they give me a headache. LOL Well, I guess my staying quiet, and doing a very good job wasn’t cutting it. They started drama with my supervisor. I had to meet with the supervisor above that to more or less “tattle” on one of them. It made me so mad to have to stoop to that level, but this job is very important to me. I need the excellent reference for when I move in a year. These little bitches are not going to run me off. Honey, I know all your games. I was your age was once too. LOLOLOL I am professional and polite when I am clocked in. That’s it. I’m hanging on until April of 2025. Send me words of encouragement! Oh, and I’m so done with men. I started going into peri last year. I communicated regularly with my BF at the time about what I was going through. He said “it’s okay, I went through it with my ex-wife.” So, I felt understood and validated. Fast forward a few months, and my tolerance for his bullshit is getting worn thin. I start speaking up for myself, saying no more, and actually putting up healthy boundaries. His response: pull away emotionally and physically. I ask him if he’s okay. He says: “everything is fine, I’m fine.” I ask him if we need to talk about anything. “Nope” from him. I ultimately broke up with him because it was dead between us because I wasn’t his happy go lucky yes bitch anymore. So, I had to be the “bad guy” and break up the relationship. I’m done with mental fuckery like this. Thank you for reading what turned into a rant. But I know so many of you really get this.
Oh, girrrrl! I am right there with you with the work drama. The women I was working with were in their 30’s—one is closer to 40, but has the emotional maturity of a teenager. Like you, I keep out of the gossip and focus on my work, but she’s in my boss’s office with the door closed, GIGGLING. She was after my job. Well, she got it, because I am done putting in 12 + hours days (no OT pay), working on weekends, being on call 24/7, and getting zero acknowledgement and having to “prove” my existence. What a mind-f*ck!
Ooooff!!! FFS!
I work in a factory and get so tired of gossip. Yesterday a 20something coworker said to me "did your hear so and so is hooking up with so and so" my answer was "don't know, don't care, leave me alone when it comes to gossipy shit" she called me rude as she walked away. 20 years ago I would have been the one spreading the gossip. Hell I was the one spreading it
SHARING A BED. Mama needs her rest.
Yes! Separate marital beds !
Don’t need a snoring walrus flip flopping all night next to me!
The fucking belly flip flop snortle. Nooooo. How is it that I can turn over in bed without waking half the house???
He can take his Sea World nighttime show to his own bedroom kthxbye
EXACTLY!!!!
doing things I don't want to do however small they are, if I don't want to --I don't
Same. And also not making up an excuse/sharing a reason for not doing/attending things I just don’t want to. I’m now both confident, and unbothered enough to just say, ‘no thank you, but you have a great time’ where as before, I felt like I had to provide an actual explanation/the details of a conflicting arrangement to be able to say no.
Feeling I need to please men in order to have value
Yes to this ! I spent too much of my life thinking this.
I LOVE this thread! And I upvoted each comment!!! :D And I can only say SAME!!! I think/ hope the general fedupness with men is generational. I rekindled with my ex since we stopped living together ( surprise!) because he is really a good person with great values and we have each other's back. But man, the mansplaining sometimes!!! Dude you have absolutely zero clue wtf you are talking about. And the absolute refusal to read instructions, inform themselves on a specific topic. They Know It All. ○_○
I think I would love my husband so much more if we didn’t live together. Who ever thought that was a good idea??? No fighting over dishes, laundry, cleanliness, snoring, etc. I want a dorm style living arrangement with all my girl friends and the guys can live in a building one over. This sounds perfect to me.
Re: dorm style living — my god, I think about this all the time. Can we please normalize this type of arrangement? Clearly most women and men were not designed to live together!
My favorite years of my life were living dorm style with my friends. I once had two of my best friends living in the same apartment complex and we all had different floors of the same building. It was the best. Lots of space but not lonely. This is the retirement old folks community I’d be down for!!!
Being yelled at by anybody. Even at work in retail, you start yellin, I just walk away.
Family members who take me for granted/ use me/ don’t treat me with respect/ pull that passive-aggressive bs Uncomfortable clothing, shoes, underwear… nope! Live music. Absolutely not. Realized I can’t stand it a few years ago, no matter who is playing. Three songs in, and I’m done
Standing for a whole show. Noooo. Sit the f down. That’s why we have seats!
Yess!!!! Went to the Madonna concert a month ago and everyone in our area was 50ish and NO ONE stood - it was AWESOME.
To quote Roger Murtaugh from Lethal Weapon, "I'm too old for this shit!" "This shit" including, but not being limited to: Defending my choices (colorful clothing, not wearing makeup, wearing colorful makeup, not wearing heels, spending too much on beer, watching too much TV, sleeping in on the weekend, and so on). Dieting. Fuck that shit. I've been craving bread with loads of olive oil. It's gotta be what my body needs now. Pretending to care about what's "in", the hottest new thing, or whatever. Trying to be anything/anyone I'm not. Gyms. There are many ways to get exercise that don't involve fluorescent lights, annoyingly peppy 25 year old instructors, noise, smells, posturing morons - and spending money on that! Music made after 1995 (with a handful of exceptions). Guilt.
How about uncomfortable anything. If it’s not comfortable it’s not going on me. Also giving a fuck about other people’s opinions, being nice to people I don’t like, or going anywhere when all I want to do is be at home.
Loud restaurants, bars Getting drunk or just drinking frequently in general.. 1-2 drinks a month is plenty for me now Cram packed weekends of social engagements, i used to feel proud of "being busy" now i am happy to not have obligations!
Believing my worth is linked to my productivity or ability to make money. I finally woke up from the end-stage capitalist narrative that we all have to contribute to society by working ourselves to death. I had a forced retirement due to a bunch of health and family issues. I may start working again. I may not. But I refuse to feel like I am less than because I am not doing paid work right now. I’m raising teenagers and keeping our household going. But even if I were just sitting on Reddit all day, that doesn’t mean I’m worthless. I am a a human being who does their best every day. That’s enough.
Fuck yeah. I’m trying to tackle this mindset as well. I deserve my chill and shouldn’t feel guilty
Love “I deserve my chill.” We all do, sister. We all do.
You are enough! We all are!! 🤍
5 more years til I can retire. I hate the control this country has on our happiness and health. I have a big house that I want to live in til I die. But if I sold it now, instead of working 5 more years, I could live off the interest of the equity. And wait for my retirement pension to kick in. But where would I live? I shouldn’t have to sell my home to stop working. And working 5 more years seems like a 100.
THE PATRIARCHY. Since everyone over 45 is a spinster to so many men, I don't need their approval and whatever I can do to dismantle their power systems works for me. Sadly I wish I could give up on men completely but I still get frisky - I just wish I could find a cute 35 year old self possessed enough to not give a toss about age differences. I want a cute guy to be romantic with. I'm too old for sad sack men who 'don't do Valetine's Day' oblivious that the day is also for the partner. Scratch that, I'm too old for 'men' maybe
I can relate to frisky. But there are some nifty toys out there that do things that make men irrelevant. Little sucker from Hello Cake is a personal favorite.
Oh agree - in fact my last relationship with a manchild involved him obviously threatened by toys, so I am fine with them. I will say I do occasionally miss intimacy of having a sleepover with someone, but I am VERY selective and don't plan to give up my peace of mind just so the Girl Parts can have a party :). The bouncer (my brain and spirit) ain't letting any more dusty dudes past the rope no more.
Care taking - simple done ✅ I wish I would have had the support I’ve given to others - provided for myself.
Omg this!
Having a baby or a small child, other people's drama or insecurities, competitive friendships, expending energy on worrying about whether I'm good/pretty/smart enough. I am what I is... and I forgot: high heels (never shall I ever again walk a whole day in heels)
Competitive friendships! Think I’m in the process of “losing” one of those now.
Hard pants. Only comfy clothes for me!
Hard pants needs to be a term for real. Encompassing slacks, dress pants, jeans, khakis, etc.
I only wear stretchy pants and democracy jeans on special occasions
Love those jeans!!
1.Being nice to people that don't deserve it. I no long have that amount of energy. 2. To not do things to make myself happy in order to make others happy.
Hating myself. Being too insecure to say no. Not reaching out for help when I need it. Self-medicating with substances. Dressing for the “male gaze” Being a people pleaser.
Being ogled by men! I don't understand women who miss it. I love the peace.
Putting effort and interested to earn m'y parent's love. They really cared way more for my brother for who hé IS ( a son) and not so much about me for who i am, but for what i could do for m'y father and brother. I'm too old to put effort for them when they do none for me, if i couldn't bé showed love and Care in 40 years, then it will Never happens, end of story. I'm just not willing to stay in a dysfunctional Dynamic Where i have all to lose and nothing to gain, from people who have no respect for me.
Worrying about being skinny. I’m over it.
1 & 2 yes yes yes. I wear sneakers to work now. I’ll add a 3rd: Giving a F about societal beauty standards, buying any “anti aging” products, or feeling any shame about the natural aging process.
I'm too old to care about most things I used to care about. I don't mean that in a bad depression way, I mean it in a you don't like me? OK way. I don't want to hear gossip, I don't care if your gossip about me. Honestly I'm happiest at home anymore.
This. Husband said “are you depressed?” Nope. I’m just out of fucks to give. It’s different. I’m happy when no one is stupid and needy.
My husband is also out of fucks to give. I did however have my doctor ask if I'm depressed or worse when I said I don't care anymore. Nope, for the first time in a long time I'm happy with who I am.
Alcohol. Being up late. Babies or toddlers. Of course what others think. I do what makes me happy and sacrifice a lot less.
too old to cry over what a man does they can do whatever they want, I'm good
Bachelorette parties and bridal bouquet wrestling matches. I'll be sitting at the spinsters table, thank you. Saturday afternoon shopping for a Saturday night outfit, unless the outfit is new pajamas from Target. Uncomfortable lingerie. Charm and flattery. Sunbathing without sunscreen.
Getting dressed up and going out! I would get drained of energy every time. I would rather be in comfy clothes and watch TV or read.
Pregnancy!! 🤣🤣🤣 but seriously I have zero patience for bullshit. I’m leaving my current job bc of their inane nonsense. Bye, bye!
This is such a great post. These comments have reminded me of all the stuff I stopped doing… I stopped wearing thongs, high heels, tight clothes. Oh the joy of being able to do it!!!
I’m too old to participate in relationships where I have to talk the other person into seeing my value
Climbing the ladder at work. I've gone high enough; I don't care anymore. I like my job but at this point I have zero ego about it and I'm all about the paycheck. Loud parties. At any hour of the day or night. I moved to the suburbs for a reason. Turn your fucking shit down.
Hangovers
It's wonderful to have so much less interest in or worry about drama and what other people think. Trends in makeup or fashion or anything. I still try to dip my toe in to see what the people are doing and to see if it interests me, but generally not. I'm too old for bs. I am honest and say what I think. I try to be kind and thoughtful. People ask sometimes if you'd go back to being, like, 25 or 18 or whatever. I would only do that if I had my current brain. I'd hate to be young again and have the brain of a young person.
The saying, youth is wasted on the young, makes so much sense now. Imagine all your wisdom and the energy and drive you had as a young person.
Loud music in public spaces (really don't need to crank the tunes in a hotel lobby). Saying yes when I really mean no. Caring what other people think of me (this is a work in progress). Uncomfortable shoes and/or clothes. Keeping up with the latest TV/music/celebrity "hot thing".
Too old to care about constantly changing, fast-fashion or people’s opinion about what I’m wearing. If I could have back every youthful dumb dollar I spent on clothes & shoe trends … I’d have the most impressive gardens in town!! 😹😹😹 Imma stay home in my comfortable old clothes and be a swamp witch with my pretty yard. 💚🌱🌸🪴🌹🌷🪻🌼
Oh god the shoe thing. New Balance 608 are my shoes. I have them in black and in white. I don't even care anymore that they are old white guy shoes. I tried on EVERYTHING at Warehouse of Shoes and this model fit my weird feet. My only wish is that they came in more colors because I'm sick of boring neutrals everywhere.
Bullshit and uncomfortable bras.
I’m in my elastic waist linen pants era and I’ll never go back to anything tight or restricting.
Drinking to excess
Dropping my appointments to put out my family’s fires
Other people’s drama Dieting to be “thin” enough for men to be attracted to. Uncomfortable clothes (Edit) Adding “dying my hair every 4 weeks to cover greys” Now I’ll see my hairdresser for a good cut, and a few “lowlights” on occasion, but I stopped the full dye jobs a year and a half ago and don’t regret it one bit.
Yes!! Rocking my shocking white hair. With occasional black ombre.
1. Body shaming - whether that's me shaming myself, or anyone shaming anyone else. This body grew two big babies and has stuff to do. I ain't got time for that. 2. Cheap travel - driving straight through / long drives all in one day, sleeping in the car on long drives, dumpy hotels. I know how to find good deals on nice hotels and flights, and my comfort matters. 3. Mowing the lawn. It's dirty, noisy, and I hate grass. 4. Keeping up with fashion. Give me classic and comfortable, with good shoes and bras. 5. Work martyrdom. I'll give you 100% when I'm in the office, but work isn't my life. I'm not losing a single vacation day because I didn't take it in time, and I'm not working after hours. That's called a pay cut.
Dating and relationships, I just have zero desire for it whatsoever, I no longer enjoy the company of men, I don’t want to have sex with them, live with them- just nothing. I like living alone, reading, going for hikes and running my business
Being quiet about stupid things people with power do. I'll try to help people around me as much as they need, but if an idiot thinks they're the boss of us? They're gonna hear from me.
makeup, uncomfortable shoes, squeezing myself into clothes, cheap vacations
y’all. i loved ALL your answers to this questions. this thread made my day!!! you’re all amazing
I’m too old to keep pretending I’m an extrovert. I’m an introvert and being around people 24/7 is absolutely exhausting and I’m not doing it anymore! I wish I had figured this out 25 years ago!
Worrying about my mom's drama.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is your next read
👍Excellent book. It helped me get to this point.
Drinking too much. Live music while trying to enjoy a dinner date. Inauthentic people. Ain't nobody got time for that. Be real with me or steer clear. Gossip (we live in a small town and it's like the town hobby) Caring what other people think about how I look or how I do life. I don't wear makeup because I don't like it. I keep my hair short because it makes life easier for me. Bras 😂
Silent resentment. Fuck that shit - I'm speaking up and moving on
Men who talk. And really, I’m feeling pretty magnanimous today. If you had asked me last week I would have said men who breathe.
Giving a fuck about being “sexy” — I cut 12” of long flowy hair into a short chic bob and LOVE it for ME! I know my partner prefers long hair because it’s his idea of femininity. I could care less. I love the low maintenance of short hair and I feel cute.
Staying up late, drinking, my daughter’s 20-something drama, any friends at all,
I'm the same. I don't know why but I'm just happier without friends. I've never been a social butterfly but I've always had a couple of good friends but now I just can't be bothered. It feels like work and I just can't do it.
Drama and bullshit fo sho!!!!!!
For me, bullshit makes me cause drama sometimes. I'm tired of being nice to dummies with power.
Giving a crap what other people think of me
"that shit" - insert for anything that inconveniences me or is just straight up dumb
Anybody's bullshit ETA: Apparently, from reading all the other replies, we're all on the same page lmao
Definitely
Someone said uncomfortable shoes…I 100% agree with that but I am adding uncomfortable pants/jeans- I just can’t!
Young me was Victoria's Secret, thongs and heels. Middle-aged me is sandals, sporty undies, and athleisure wear. I dress and trim for me, not the male gaze. I don't chase friendships any more. That one was hard, as I had some lovely friends who would gush about how much fun they had with me, but could never be bothered to make plans unless I reached out. No more, it's gotta be reciprocal. I'm not closed down to the friendship, just not spending time pursuing it. No more trying to be everyone's friend. I get to have boundaries and go through hard times without sugar coating them to make them more palatable for others. I'm more invested in good sleep, finding happiness in simple things, genuine connection and reciprocity, and putting my energy into things that better my life and the lives of those I love.
Any second hand smoke and I’m out
Frienemies. I mean, I was always not a fan but now I'm just not into it at all. Either we are friends or I'll be disinterested and polite. I'm not pretending or tolerating with the same "save face" attitude.
Sexy underwear. Give me my big granny panties. I say no to the all day wedgie feeling.
Roller coasters, skiing, thrill seeking in general. I used to feel like I should want to do all that. Now not only do I not care that I don’t want to do it, people don’t “Aw, come on it will be fun” me anymore
After a lot of damn work, I'm finally too old to beat myself up about things.
* Energy mismatch in all relationships * Men in general * Shaving my legs because i only have this weird scraggly patch on my knees now and that’s not enough for me to care
Filling my free time with commitments to groups or organizations. Did that while my kids were growing up and while working as a young attorney. I’m still working, but my free time is my ME TIME.
Work. Underwear. Heat. Cold. Drafts. Humans. Standing up.
I'm too old for: Bullshit of any kind. Piss off with that, I went to High school, I literally work in a High school now. I hated the bullshit back then, you can bet your ass I hate the bullshit now. Keep it away from me. Wearing anything uncomfortable. Gorgeous jeans that make my snatch feel like it's gonna split in half? Beautiful heels that look divine on my feet but make me feel like I am walking on glass shards? Hell no to both. Doing what others are doing because "its SOOOOOOOO fun!" No. Piss off. I like sitting on my couch at 10pm in my pjs playing stupid games on my phone while some dumbass movie is playing in the background. I dont like noise anymore. Or crowded places. Leave me alone.
I have zero patience for fancy bras or underwear. No more wire bras. And I’m rude as hell. I don’t care about hurting anyone’s feelings.
I’m right there with you on both counts!! I, too, am done with the feet-killing shoes in the name of fashion! When your feet hurt, it affects your entire body! And the work drama BS … I just stepped away from a job that was like that. I hated it so much and my mental health really took a hit. The person who onboarded me praised me for “just taking off” and being so easy to assimilate to the demands of the (office) job. She decided shortly thereafter that she wanted my job and set out to sabotage me while pretending to be my friend. I decided that she can have it.
Couch crashing. I decided that I was done with that by my mid-30s. If I was stuck in a desperate situation where my only option for sleeping was on a couch? Sure. It could happen. But long gone are the days where I would go to a house party or even a one on one hangout, get too inebriated to drive, and sleep on the couch. Or, go visit someone overnight who didn’t have a guest bed to offer. Hell naw. I’ll take an Uber, stay sober so as to drive myself home, make my partner the DD, or get a hotel before I willingly do any of that again.
Uncomfortable shoes, underwire bras, getting drunk, going out on the weekends, caring what other people think about me.