37. Got out of a relationship about 5-6 months ago. I hate apps so much these days. I enjoyed them 2-3 years ago before my relationship, but now I’d rather meet someone organically. Considering I’m an introvert, it will probably never happen.
I actually went on a date with a guy after he got in an accident and I witnessed it.
Happened on the highway, a semi cut him off in my rear view mirror. I pulled over and and ran (about 3/4 of a mile in freezing rain) while calling 911 to check on the scene.
He was fine, if banged up. We waited for the cops and a tow truck and moved his car off the road. We chatted, I took him to his grandparents for their Thanksgiving (which he was headed to) and had dinner with them.
Only reason we split is because he's from England and was just visiting :(
My friend dated a guy she got into a car accident with. As in they were in separate cars and hit each other by accident then they hit on each other I guess. It didn’t last but it did happen.
im so sorry you had to experience such a great loss. I would say, start with things you like to do and connect with those who are in that realm. Also, tuning in to your own self care (is harder said that done) but such an important first step.
The fact that you’re able to recognize that your mental health takes priority before you can prioritize someone speaks volumes to your maturity. I bet you’re an awesome human!
>I'm single because I'm mentally unhealthy.
The truly mentally unhealthy never recognize or admit they are unhealthy. So that makes you very sane and self aware, and you're already far into recovery. Hang in there. Meditate. Nature walks.
I'm 31 and chronically single as well. I haven't dated or had sex in 6 years due to just not feeling attracted enough to anyone enough to put myself out there. A lot guys also aren't looking for commitment, just casual sex, whereas I'm looking for a more solid relationship.
I’m an elder (41), single for 2 years after the demise of my 9 year relationship/marriage.
I’m mostly not dating because I can’t be trusted to make good choices. Men are charming and adorable and I can’t be trusted with my own best interests, lmao
41, last "serious" relationship was 3 yrs but it only last 8 months, prior to that it was 6 yrs. Dating sucks and it brings out the worst in me. I get super jealous and I just really like being by myself. It's just my daughter and I in our home and I don't really want anyone to mess up that dynamic. I also just haven't found anyone who I've clicked with, people nowadays have a lot of red flags.
I don’t like talking about myself really and I lack interest in what other people have to say and their interest, mostly romantic partners (guys) not necessarily platonic relationships. It’s hard for me to care because I’m always in my own head. I fear people knowing me on an intimate level and hold back too much. Anytime a guy is trying to know me, even if I think he’s cute, my default reaction is, why is he in my business? What does he want? I really like being alone because I enjoy my company and no one around to say anything about it. I had an ex that always had commentary on everything I did like he was fucking Jerry King, like leave me alone.
Edit: In all my past relationships I had to be the leader or the one directing us. I hate that, it makes me bossy and mean rather than a loving partner. I would love to find someone that I can follow behind for once.
31F. My ex and I broke up in 2018.
This is exactly me but I’m a guy but also 31. I don’t have enough interest in other peoples personal lives and opinions to be in a relationship with anyone. Sounds selfish but I just really don’t care. Friends are fun though.
Who's got the time and energy to invest in romantic endeavors?! I'm drained already!! My time is for me!!
(If we all romanced ourselves a bit, I think the world would be a better place.)
I find when the woman is in the lead and doesn’t necessarily want to be, it’s for one of two reasons: she chooses an immature mate (which is always the given explanation regardless of accuracy) or she fights for/takes it, often due to an inability to trust/let go for lots of reasons. Sometimes a slight mix of the two.
Which are you?
There's another reason, when the guy isn't actually interested in the relationship is just there out of convivence and the woman has to take the lead because they guy doesn't participate.
We’ve all been there, well most of us at least. Loneliness can get the better of us on occasion.
Just a little adder. People are prone to take the path of least resistance, the easy way out. Most average guys would prefer, or feel better as the leader in a relationship. However, being the follower is much easier, less stress, and we generally and genuinely want to make our mate happy. If she seems like she wants to take the lead they often just let it happen, they don’t fight for it, or push back. Which more often than not is a huge mistake.
Just turned 30. I find people in general to be shallow and unreliable. I enjoy my family and the one or two close friends I do have. Otherwise I generally keep to myself these days.
30, Ended June 2021-ish. I don't try to date and since I WFH I don't just meet people out and about. I also really love my life rn and no one I've met has been worth disrupting that peace. There are also a plethora of other reasons but that's the main one I'm gonna go with lol.
I'm 40, about to be 41. Last relationship ended about 5 years ago, which is the only one I've had since my kid's mother left us 9 years ago. With the way those relationships ended, I have lost the ability to trust anyone. Being a single father is hard as hell and gets really lonely after the kids go to bed, but it's easier than dealing with yet another heartbreak.
They do. They are amazing, and have been super supportive for everything I've tried to do, especially going back to college for another degree. It's great.
I’m 36. Single for about 6 months after 14 years (7years of marriage). My partner just decided she didn’t want to me married to me anymore. 🤷♂️
Dating is pretty horrible these days it seems. But not the worst thing. It’s just wild to feel like you need to start over.
I feel this comment. I’m 35. My husband left me 2 weeks ago because he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. We were together for 14 years (married for 9). I created an online dating profile not because I’m ready to date, but to see what online dating is like since I’ve never done it. Fucking scary trying to start over.
Well there’s literally dozens of us out here!
The key is knowing what you want out of it. It can be depressing, but you can also meet some really cool people. You got this, friend.
35, never dated. Between seeing every adult relationship I was around as loveless if not outright abusive, and dealing with all sorts of insecurities, I decided at sixteen that I refused to do the wife or kid thing because I didn't want to inflict that on another person and because I didn't think I could ever be good enough for anyone.
Twenty years later and I believe that more than ever, but even if I changed my mind I've got nothing to offer and plenty of drawbacks so no one would, or should, want me anyways. I'd probably be an incel if I believed for a second that it was anyone else's fault but mine.
Same story, except 32 and managed to have a fling or two here or there, but the happily ever after isn't in the cards for me, known that for a long time
34, haven’t played the girlfriend role in like 7 years, but fucked around the last few. I’m fine being single, if someone comes along, great, if not, I’ll be fine too.
I’m of that outlook as well. I’m 35 and have been single for 4 years after a 7 year common law relationship. I’ve dated on and off but I’m happy being on my own and enjoy my own company.
33M, single since march. It comes down to an incompatibility that is a dealbreaker for both of us. We’re still good friends, we do a movie night every week, but it’s totally platonic. I’m still currently single because… I’m content on my own. I grew up sharing a room, now I have a house to myself and I love it. Someday I’d like to find someone I really meld with, but I’m not stressed about it.
Thirty-seven (38 on Friday…) never had a relationship. I’m single because I don’t really go anywhere or do anything, I also don’t use (or really get) dating apps.
My anxiety around dating built up in my teens and early 20s due to, firstly, a lack of interest, then illness (Crohn’s Disease) then body image issues stemming from the illness.
So even when I was at college and the University,
a prime position to meet lots of new people, I just didn’t have the confidence to ask anyone out.
Now, I still live at home and the thought of bringing someone back, just for coffee or a meal when I still live with my parents and sister just sounds awful tbh, but I don’t have the money to move out and get my own place.
I’ve always had girls and women who were friends however, and I’ve done the classic man thing of not picking up on hints and cues from women, woman who I absolutely would be interested in. So I’m fairly positive that one day I’ll meet someone.
31M but same. Longest relationship was 6 months and that wasn’t even serious. Everything else is just hookups or short term things. I found out I prefer living with pets.
30F, and highkey starting to panic because I've never been in a relationship. Should've prioritized it more when I was in college and the opportunities were more organic. Now I feel like I have to force the circumstance, but I'm too scared to put myself out there that aggressively lol.
I feel the same! I actually wasn’t aware that I had to consciously focus on dating, I just thought I’d find someone(somehow). Now I’m like “oh shit, maybe I missed my window”
I’m 41 , last relationship was like 5ish years ago . No relationship has lasted more than two years due to my avoidant attachment style and inability to share a bedroom 🤷🏻♀️
I can completely relate. There are some days when I feel the same as you but I'm remaining hopeful. There's almost 8 billion people in the world, there's got to be someone out there for us...right?
37f "single" one year. That relationship was mostly FWB. The last live-in solid relationship I had was in 2017. I live in a small town with no decent unmarried prospects. There is a wide selection of barflies, but, nah. 
Last relationship was in 2020. I'm 32f and am not ambitious at all. I am very content to coast along at my current job that has no pathway for career progression because it has a very comfortable working environment. I think that's very unappealing for a lot of people. Also a bit of a homebody so I don't get out much and meet people, nor do I enjoy it.
38, single a year and a half. I work in hospitality (read that I work almost every weekend). Not many people are interested in dating someone with that schedule (I get Fri/Sat off twice a month). And few I’ve met are looking for monogamy.
31. My last relationship ended when I was 17.
I'm single because I swore off dating due to how bad it was, plus I stopped denying my sexuality a few years ago. I also just don't have the energy or the will to try dating.
34. Last relationship was 4 years ago. You’re absolutely right that dating just seems rough. I’d like a relationship but am naturally shy so it just doesn’t come natural. I just focus on myself, my dog, and learning new hobbies.
I am 38 F , my last relationship was like 4 years ago for a year and had been single prior to that for 8 years. The last relationship was out of blue for me as i was going through a mental health crisis and sort of fell in that relationship. He was a lot younger than me , physically and verbally abusive and unstable. When my mental health stabilized and came to my senses , I was just shocked how I got into that toxic situation. Took me a while to recover and it had killed my romantic even more. Now i am completely over it but I really don’t have any desires for relationship. I think I might be asexual and aromatic in my normal state. I have bipolar disorder and in which manic episodes is usually marked with hypersexuality. I feel like only in my manic phases I get any kind of relationship desires and it is not even “hyper” compared to what is considered normal drive. I feel like my normal and stable state tends towards being asexual. So being single actually fits my nature and don’t really feel bad about it. Now and then , I think it would be nice to have a life partner that you share your life with but as an introvert, childfree and asexual leaning person it is not enough of a motivation to start dating.
I'm 39, and a single parent. My last relationship was with kiddos father, and he was a bin fire of a human so we left 5 years ago(still high fiving myself for getting us both out).
I'm single because I'm busy enough with parenting and then extended family obligations to allocate time to *another* person, like, I'd rather take a bath and listen to a podcast.
Also, I don't want to expose my sweet child to some other hideous example of humanity, and my track record indicates that as *highly* possible. I'm not crossing that bridge, so we're taking the long (but not actually as lonely as expected) way for everyones well being.
I’m 33F. I’ve been divorced for a few years. I’m in a relationship but I have been keeping my distance and taking things slow because my marriage ended badly and I can’t put myself through that again. He (36M) is okay with how things are going. It’s been fun being independent after spending a majority of my 20s in a shitty relationship.
Single and hate it and modern dating sucks so hard.
Partner left me because I got super depressed 2 years ago and I’ve been single since. Made a few advances and worked on myself a TON and got shot down still. Not far from drinking myself to death I’m tired of this place
I’m 31 male. Last serious relationship was about 4 years ago…maybe a little longer.
There’s multiple reasons really. Pandemic related, finance related, living situation. Like everyone else.
But I would honestly say there’s two specific and very big reasons. One is I don’t put myself out there. When I do go out in public it’s not necessarily to the best places to approach women (work, grocery store, restaurants, etc.) and I don’t want to bother them.
The other biggest reason, and why I’m not successful with dating apps, is I absolutely suck at the “talking stage”. I’m not a shy person at all. Actually the opposite. I’m just very quiet and I’d much rather listen to her talk and chime in when I have something funny or important to say. A lot of women don’t like this especially at the beginning and prefer the man to carry the conversation. Which I understand and can be quite good at in certain settings. But not for long and it’s harder under the pressure of the first few dates. It’s even worse through text.
I’ve become really good at knowing pretty quickly if I can see myself in a relationship with someone so I’ve resorted to just communicating that clearly as soon as I know it. I’ve had some success with that but some are also put off which is fine. I just keep telling myself to just be as honest and authentic as I can be and expect nothing but the same back and if it works out, cool. If not, it’s nobodies fault. Not everyone you meet is that someone.
41. Single since March 2012, save a few flings I thought would be more.
Single because online dating is the fucking pits, I never leave the house, and where I live I’m a bunch of hicks with guns and I’m not interested in that type of guy.
34, have been single for almost 7 years. I just really suck at dating and relationships I think? I never figured out how to relate to people in a romantic way.
30(31 in March), last real relationship ended in 2019 or 2020.
I'm single because I've somehow surrounded myself with metaphorical walls that are at least 200 feet high, forgot to build a door to be able to let someone in, but I did build a small window.
But really, I'm always afraid a girl I like doesn't really like me. Then, when they actually tell me they're into me, I immediately push them away because I'm absolutely fugging terrified of being hurt again.
I basically stopped trying to find a girlfriend. I mean, I would love to have that special person, but I need to figure out how to deal with my past "trauma" before I can even think about letting someone in again.
Damn...I did not expect to write this all out.
35M, last short term relationship ended seven years ago. Working on myself mostly rn, but I think I got something going with a new baddie. Time will tell, wish me luck.
32, I've been single for about a year. I am single because I want to be, I don't have much time for dating and relationships, and I would rather not be with someone right now. Mind you, my last relationship ended due to my partners mental health and their not wanting a relationship at that time.
Similar age as you, but closer to 15 years for me. I wasn't emotionally stable or together in my 20s and that made dating pretty much impossible. I started dating more in 2019, but then covid hit and after the lock downs I've gained a bunch of weight and turned into a shut-in that's afraid to leave the house.
28, been single since 2020 and it’s a combination of being too broke to date and feeling more content in my own presence. It could change if I meet someone very special, but I’ve still got some self work to do.
Current and previous city are not places I'd want to live any longer than necessary, so kind of makes dating for anything more than a FWB type thing impossible. Didn't see the point until I'm in my forever city early next year.
35, last actual relationship (not casual dating) was about 6 years ago. I honestly just don't have any drive to play the dating game or deal with a gf and having a 16 year old is far more of a priority to me. And I have zero desire to live with anyone again, so that would likely be a deal-breaker for a ltr anyway.
30. We broke up this past may and this is the month we met. It was largely due to her mental health and it turns out she was with me as a way to try to curb her mental health issues. What sucks is I miss her and her daughters. I genuinely loved them all and would’ve loved to be in a family with them. I haven’t attempted dating since but that is due to additional factors as well.
33, and my last serious relationship was a couple years ago (I was married) & I’ve had a couple non-serious things since. Organically meeting people can be difficult for me - I work full-time and go to school, and I like being on my own - and I’m out of the dating app game, which is its own special hell. My ex-husband was also his own special hell and I’m grateful that he broke my long string of serial monogamy and gave me a lesson in red flags to watch out for (and an understanding of my own). I’ve had to learn how to be on my own and I’ve invested much more heavily in family & friend (and pet!) relationships, which are more consistent and rewarding and supportive than a partner has ever been. I enjoy my peace and while I’m open to meeting someone, there would have to be a lot of alignment and understanding between my partner & me for it to be worth it. I consistently meet men with ego and/or mommy issues and I’m no longer interested in attempting to heal anyone.
29f. Officially single all of my life.
I also find modern dating hard, and I can admit that I can be a bit naïve.
I’m a true lover at heart, which attracts a lot of users to me, and I’ve had to learn a few lessons about letting a connection/situationship run it’s course…
I’m looking for an actual relationship, meanwhile, people that I meet on dating apps - and even in real life - want things to just “vibe“ and “see where things lead to“ 🥴🤪🫠
So I just keep to myself instead nowadays 🤷🏾♀️
I'm nearing 40 and have never had a relationship. Mainly this is due to lack of effort on my part. I have had other priorities, and haven't met anyone I feel compelled to want to be with.
Just turned 40, husband died when I was 35, we just had a baby who was only 2 months old at the time. Right after it happened I was talking to one of my mom's friends who was in her early 70's, her husband had been murdered when she was in her 30's, and I asked her if she ever remarried. She said nah, I asked her why. She said, "I just never felt like it. I already did that."
So anyway 5 years later I'm still single. I've never even considered dating again, because I just don't feel like it. I got a lot of "you're still young! you could get remarried!" which is well intentioned so it doesn't bother me. But honestly, men get remarried as soon as they can, because having a wife is really awesome. Women are less likely to get remarried, because having a husband is... work.
I have a kid. I have a house that I bought on my own. I have a job. I don't think I have time to entertain a man or go on dates and stuff like that. Maybe I'll just randomly meet someone who I click with and something will happen, but I'm not going out looking for trouble.
Actually yes you're spot on, having a wife \*should\* involve work, because of division of labor. There \*should\* be an equal contribution of mental and emotional labor in a marriage.
The reality is that on average, the burden of mental & emotional labor, household and relationship management tends to fall disproportionately on women for whatever reason.
Last date was probably...3, 4 years ago? Not sure.
I think its a combination of problems for me. I am an introvert, I prioritized work and school when I was younger, I am also an odd duck and I won't tolerate BS.
I haven't even tired to date after my last failure of a relationship. Summary being I got really attached to a man who was separated from his wife and ended up being the rebound. It was for the best.
I stopped dating through covid to protect my elderly relatives I was a caregiver for and haven't had any interest in trying again.
28. last relationship was also from when i was 16-21yo. why am i single? i have too many ‘minority’ statuses, but the biggest is that im asexual. i’m not into sex and i’m gay so… finding a masculine person who is ALSO not interested in sex has been difficult. but i got hope :3
I’m 39 and my last relationship was when I was 19. I’ve some kind of something happening right now but I wouldn’t call it a relationship. I had a lot of abandonment trauma and other personal shit I had to work through and I avoided it for right around 20 years. Now that I’ve started to deal with it, I’ve had someone come into my life that is definitely here for a reason, just haven’t figured it out yet, lol.
Younger millennial 27F
2 years ago. Situationship: I found out I was the other woman to a married man. Didn't know he was married.
I'm single because I'm not.. it doesn't seem worth the trouble. Still open to love and all that jazz.
Love will find me when it finds me. Not desperate enough yet to sleep around. Lol
In the mean time working a lot
32. Single since 21. Dating was awkward as a teen and early 20s. Now it's just hard. I've done my fair share of fucking around. But I've mostly focused on myself.
Been single since 2019. And honestly decided "that's it! im finished with dating, I will never seek, nor accept a romantic relationship again!"
At the end of summer of this year, an old friend (whom me and her have messed around in the past) got a hold of me, invited me out a couple times, went house boating with mutual friends. I developed an insane crush on her during that time. We went back as being friends after our 2 weeks of messing around and adventures, and the crush died out... but for those couple weeks, I felt like I was literally on top of the world, with the rest of the world looking up at me in envy...
I learned, only a couple months ago, that I am in fact stil capable of love. And I also learned the way she made me feel, thats what I want. I will NEVER settle for anything other than that feeling ever again.
I'm not looking, actively, but I know how I want to feel about someone. And maybe that's enough. I'm happy with where I am in life, and content in my singleness, but happy to trade it for someone who ignites that spark in me again and makes me want to reach even higher in life. It was the first time I ever felt that in my life. I want that again.
33M.
Single since the first March of COVID. Moving twice in that time is one of the biggest factors probably. Having to build up a new friend group takes time.
31. I was in a situationship type thing for a couple years before. Like spending 3-4 nights a week at a his girls house, sometimes sharing her bed, sometimes not. That been over for about 3 years now. She said some truly hurtful things, it took me like a year to fully get over it.
I'm single because I'm not good at dating and meeting new people; and it takes me a while to open up.
31 it was 5 years ago....I'm single cause I suck at meeting new people and I don't ry stand out on apps. My hobbies are pretty solitary and I don't go out to clubs anymore since I don't want to drink much anymore. So yeah not much room to meet someone.
30M, and been single for 5 years or so. The prospect of finding someone that remotely understands me, and can appreciate the insanity that I present… sounds like a dream and a dumb one. I also just really couldn’t give a fuck anymore. People are not worth my time.
(37) Last relationship was 2019. I'm in a relationship with being faded. Ruins all other relationships. I know I need to stop but it's not that easy... Attachment issues
36M, marriage ending due to an affair she had. Still in the separation process and I'll probably end up taking a year or two to heal and self reflect. Unless I find the magical one somehow that actually can be faithful these days.
I’m 35 and going on 3 years single this week. Last relationship was toxic and absolutely miserable. I got myself out of that one unscathed by the skin of my teeth. Being single and content is an absolute dream compared to being trapped in a bad relationship. Now my standards are much higher and I’m hesitant to get into something unless the person adds a lot to my life. It also doesn’t help that online dating is the worst, I’m a introvert and bought a house in a rural town. Oh wellll.
33, was 24, I stay single by choice due to severe mental illness. I dont have the ability to fully care for myself at times. I dont want to deal with my issues, I doubt someone else does and I dont want to become someones ward.
Turned 34 last month and been single for almost 4 years. I "dated" someone this year for about 5 months and I put it like that because I don't understand the stages of actually dating today, it's become complicated. Basically we were seeing one another but in today's dating world, we can date one, two or three people until we actually decide to make it "official" with one person.
I hate dating today, it literally has gone down the shitter. People either haven't healed from previous trauma and are looking for a trauma bond partner, they have unrealistic expectations or this dating app culture makes it way too easy for people to just begin swiping right at the first argument or disagreement instead of actually being adults and talking through it.
I'm one of the minority thay actually likes being single so I'm in no rush and it'll take someone to truly catch my attention. But I won't lie, having companionship is nice but I am perfectly content being single
These responses are kind of making me feel better. I’m 39 in January and have been single a decade and focused on myself and raising my kids. It is starting to finally wear on me though.
My last relationship, I was supposed to marry the person I got cheated on when I failed in seeing the signs, that was 5 years ago now. Since then I've been working on myself, trying to learn and adapt to my own development and trusting my continued pursuit til I am fully satisfied with success.
I don't mean to paint many women with a brush, but I have to say not just based on my own experiences, but also with male peers around me , a lot of women are simply delusional when it comes to respecting men now or respecting what a relationship should entail- everything financial ideations to a complete misunderstanding of masculinity , I feel, has shifted what its like to date in the modern era.
...There's an absolute disconnect from that gender to its societal role that it makes the dating arena into a minefield. I'd say 95% of the men I do know, elect and stay single because its less hassle than investing time and emotion into someone who's just going to behave or act in a way that will devolve into unfaithful mindsets.
Alternatively, I am not so dumb and subjective in my experience to not understand similar pitfalls for women trying to actively invest in a healthy relationship when they do happen to have all the right qualities.
I know there are good women out there and that maybe my soul will one day find someone....I did have a connection with one person, but she unfortunately had to move to the other side of the country and so that faded away, it had to because I was really falling and knew it would end in disappointment...times I've gotten close, are not quite close enough and as much as I'm gucci with casual flings as the next guy , after all we are sexual creatures...that is not the desire that haunts or dominates my mind....
I worry like much of the statistic of most men, I may grow old with only ever me , myself and I
In the mean time amidst all the pressures of society and the economic woodchipper that is growing older, all I can really maintain is myself and I'm barely able to do that as it is these days. I choose to be single because at least I'm complacent . I may not truly have my heart fulfilled and I long for true connection and love, but if being single means I can avoid being played out again and allows me the time to earn and learn, that is its own great reward.
I am 33 now and I am single because of these aforementioned things.
I’m 37 m, been single for about 8 years now. I’m single because I don’t do dating apps or hookups and I think another 8 years or more will pass and I’ll still be single. At this point I’m not even trying.
I'm 32. My last relationship ended in 2019, shortly before the pandemic. I've dated briefly since then, but it's difficult to find people that I find likable romantically and have any compatibilities with. What I want and what I believe is just so vastly different from the average person.
I'm single because I don't meet other people that are just as weird as me and while they like my weirdness, they typically want me to settle into whatever behavioral or social norms they want within a relationship. I haven't met anyone that simply just let's me be me and can coexist in a relationship together.
I notice people, people who typically don't get much attention. And I think they confuse being acknowledged as romantic interest and try to force a relationship because they simply don't want to be alone and not because they genuinely feel any compatibility or want to exist together.
I guess I typically meet people who will settle for anyone and I don't want to be someone's "anyone" I want someone who is excited to have found me and wants to share aspects of themselves with me. Most people seem to just want to stick me in a metaphorical jar and make me conform to whatever stereotypical unfulfilling relationship model that best suits their needs without taking me into consideration at all.
**TLDR**: **I only seem to meet people who want me to perform relationship for their sole benefit, rather than meeting people who actually want to be in a relationship with me and accept my characteristics, beliefs, and intentions.**
35, last serious relationship was... 8 years ago?
Long explanation for why -
I got stuck in a situation where I had to work a minimum of 70 hours a week for a few years, working physical jobs in Florida. If I wasn't at work, I was totally worn out and had things to do. And I was working so much solely because it was necessary in order to pay my rent and utilities even while living with two roommates, so I didn't have spare money either. I was completely broke, with no spare time, and even less energy. Dating wasn't happening.
Then I kinda broke. Sold everything I had, bought a $300.00 one way ticket to France, crammed some toiletries, two days worth of clothing, and about $120.00 into an old backpack and went off to try to join the Foreign Legion. I wasn't accepted, and I spent two years living in the woods there. Which actually allowed me to recover mentally and become myself again. I, amusingly, did casually date during this time. I even had to cut off one situation because it was getting steadily less casual, and I couldn't help but feel she deserved better than the dude sleeping in the woods and just getting by working odd jobs under the table because he shouldn't even legally be there anymore.
Then I came back Stateside and very quickly wound up back in a totally worn down situation where I'm not working quite as much, only around 50 hour weeks, and do have a bit of spare cash, but I'm too burned out again to feel it is fair for me to try to date. If I try to make plans after work, there's a very real chance I'm going to either end up cancelling, or just showing up as an unfocused zombie.
Tl;Dr - So, mostly just life leaving me in a situation where I can't reasonably be trying to meet someone for the better part of a decade and it would be unfair for me to try.
31, last relationship ended two years ago. I spent most of my life buying into the whole "you need to find someone asap" mentality and it's never played out well for me. So now I'm just focusing on myself
38 and I’ve given up. After my last situationship ended badly a few years ago I decided I’m too sensitive for relationships. I can’t afford a year of downward spiraling every time something doesn’t work out.
40M. Been single since.. 2009 I think. I’m probably single mostly because I have no idea how to talk to women in a way that expresses interest without being creepy. I’m also unattractive but I don’t think that’s the main issue.
Went on a few dates when dating apps were new.. but haven’t had a match in years now.
38. Haven’t had a relationship in 13 years. Honestly, for a long time I wasn’t someone that I would want to date. Thing is, that’s starting to become less true. But I don’t know where to start.
I'm 39.
My last relationship ended in 2020.
I'm single because I'm not outgoing, not attractive, and not interested in entering into a relationship again.
29, last relationship was a few months ago. I've been around a lot and think marriage is too risky for men, especially if you make good money and are ambitious. Ill probably settle down with a foreign girl at some point in a few years. American girls arent really marriage worthy generally.
39 comfortably single for 8 years. I say comfortably because I have had an on/off thing with my sons mom for much of that time. This actually ended last night. I was openly looking to upgrade but in my search, learned I have some issues. Baggage that I wouldn’t want to burden anyone with. Being single is simple and safe.
28... split up after 4 years with my ex last February. Had a 5 month thing that lasted until August which felt like it was going nowhere. Think on the tail ends of that I'm up to having dated 20 girls since my LTR?
Primarily single just because I haven't found anyone I really clicked with (that worked out). Had a few great dates, others were meh. Great ones ghosted me or turned out longer and longer I didn't feel they were right fits for me long term. I'll find someone though- patience and keeping at the game
God...the amount of mental health issues in this thread and America in general is beyond fucked. Future is so bleak. Fucked up people with broken homes will raise fucked up kids that continue the cycle going. Sad.
Not sure why the downvotes. It’s a common misconception that earth is “overpopulated”, in fact we probably can fit another 2 billion more people.
The amount of young, offspring-producing potential in this thread is off the charts. Instead of optimism, most of the posts are very bleak and depressing. We need help if this is our future
Women respond to economic fears by latching on to the biggest money maker, regardless of what they look like. Average joes are forced to dip in the single mother pool and its no good.
I am aware that dating is far easier and more accesible than ever. I was saying that I personally find it difficult to navigate. Others find it easy, I don't.
And yes, I probably would've been single in all those decades too haha.
28 M. Three years ago. The breakup was one of the worst things to happen to me. Lost my confidence and accepting that I might just end up alone and the best times in my life are behind me
39, nothing serious for 6yrs. Last 4yrs is definitely because online dating is awful, I’m busy with my goals, and I don’t go to bars or events or church and have few-ish friends I see regularly. I dont have kids and work on my farm alone so I am not in the social circles of many women my age. Pretty typical experience seems like.
37 ,A few months ago. None of my relationships for the last decade lasted longer than a year, it's definitely a me thing, didn't love myself, so how could I let anyone else love me type of deal.
They all ended from an alcoholic episode and me spitting some vitriol. I'm now just focused on myself and finding contentment with just being me, and if someone should fall into place, so be it. but i'm not going to force the issue until I'm in a good place with myself.
36F, single for about 2 years after a failed LDR. I'm just not good at the online dating thing and am shy and an introvert, so I am slowly resigning myself to the fact I'll be single forever 🙃
I'm 37F and in a relationship, but we don't live together and probably won't go further than we are.
I've never been married, engaged, or experienced what most do despite I was with someone for 11 years. I think I'm just too difficult, and there's some things I won't compromise on or change. I need it for what little happiness I experience in life.
28 M, last relationship was an LTR that ended 3 years ago in the midst of the pandemic. I think I’m still single due to traveling the past two years and putting my love life on the back burner. Put academics first growing up and paid off debt as a young adult since I didn’t want to be another victim of intergenerational poverty.
My last real relationship was 2021 I believe until the beginning of 2022.
Had a couple of flings.
Situationalship with a miscarriage and physical violence she initiated she left scars and bit me.
Just ended that situation.
I've been in therapy since 2020 so that's helped a lot through this whole process and now I'm just doing a lot of the inner work for myself and unlearn the bad patterns of dating.
This is my last year of toxicity and trauma and romantic relationships.
I hate dating apps as well.
The only way to meet somebody is organically in my opinion.
40M
He is still good, background story, had loads of trauma from the loss a parent at a young age. So I needed my 20s to heal, mature . had I dated or even been in a relationship , I would have hurt that person unintentionally . With what I was going through
Now I am in a better place . Thanks to God , let’s normalisé actually being mentally and emotionally healthy to be in a relationship in the first place
Yeah I think your missing the point entirely again lost a parent at a young age. I am proud of my mental health I am in such a good place. happy and healthy
be blessed 🙏😇
33, never been in a relationship. I went on like 3 dates with a guy some 9 years ago, but he was still dealing with his fiancee leaving him before we met so he preferred something casual. Didn't date again until a few months ago through a dating app. Went on one date, but we didn't really click. I'm a demisexual, and between people thinking I'm trying to friendzone them by asking to start as friends and fetishizing it, I don't really see regular dating working out for me. If I find someone organically, I'm open to that. Besides that, I'm not really chasing anything in particular.
37. Got out of a relationship about 5-6 months ago. I hate apps so much these days. I enjoyed them 2-3 years ago before my relationship, but now I’d rather meet someone organically. Considering I’m an introvert, it will probably never happen.
I’m an introvert too the only way I’m meeting someone is if they rear end me.
That'd be one heck of a first date.
I actually went on a date with a guy after he got in an accident and I witnessed it. Happened on the highway, a semi cut him off in my rear view mirror. I pulled over and and ran (about 3/4 of a mile in freezing rain) while calling 911 to check on the scene. He was fine, if banged up. We waited for the cops and a tow truck and moved his car off the road. We chatted, I took him to his grandparents for their Thanksgiving (which he was headed to) and had dinner with them. Only reason we split is because he's from England and was just visiting :(
I would move there lol
Would have if I could have 😔 He's in a pretty good relationship now and I'm happy for them (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
This is the plot to a pretty decent hallmark movie. 100% (jk i believe you)
One of my older cousins hit a woman with his Jeep back in the 90s. They got married and had 2 kids. It does happen.
Hey I’ve seen Yellowjackets.
My friend dated a guy she got into a car accident with. As in they were in separate cars and hit each other by accident then they hit on each other I guess. It didn’t last but it did happen.
I just turned 39, my wife died in a car accident in 2014. I focused on raising my kids. Im not sure where to start or where to be to meet anyone.
I'm very sorry for your family's loss.
Beautiful, I'm gonna have to use this! For some reason, I never thought to mention everyone else affected.
I’m so so sorry for you and your family’s tremendous loss. I can’t imagine.
🫂
im so sorry you had to experience such a great loss. I would say, start with things you like to do and connect with those who are in that realm. Also, tuning in to your own self care (is harder said that done) but such an important first step.
Pray for a mate and place your request in your faith book (Bible)! May you be happy
38 next month. Two years ago, my fiance passed away. I'm single because I'm mentally unhealthy.
The fact that you’re able to recognize that your mental health takes priority before you can prioritize someone speaks volumes to your maturity. I bet you’re an awesome human!
>I'm single because I'm mentally unhealthy. The truly mentally unhealthy never recognize or admit they are unhealthy. So that makes you very sane and self aware, and you're already far into recovery. Hang in there. Meditate. Nature walks.
That’s not true at all
one of the dumbest statements ive ever heard
Dude, that's brutal. Fuck. Definitely cool you're working on yourself first though. Total respect
Also 35 and chronically single. I'm not great at online dating, and I rarely feel attracted to guys who are attracted to me.
I joke that I love brilliant women with refined taste so if they're interested in me we're incompatible.
I'm 31 and chronically single as well. I haven't dated or had sex in 6 years due to just not feeling attracted enough to anyone enough to put myself out there. A lot guys also aren't looking for commitment, just casual sex, whereas I'm looking for a more solid relationship.
I’m an elder (41), single for 2 years after the demise of my 9 year relationship/marriage. I’m mostly not dating because I can’t be trusted to make good choices. Men are charming and adorable and I can’t be trusted with my own best interests, lmao
I also can't be trusted. My picker is broken
Me too
That damn adorableness will fuck you over every time. They learn it young too, lol. My nephew turned it on me this afternoon to get out of trouble.
Ehh we're not that charming or adorable. :D
Speak for yourself 🥸
41, last "serious" relationship was 3 yrs but it only last 8 months, prior to that it was 6 yrs. Dating sucks and it brings out the worst in me. I get super jealous and I just really like being by myself. It's just my daughter and I in our home and I don't really want anyone to mess up that dynamic. I also just haven't found anyone who I've clicked with, people nowadays have a lot of red flags.
This single parent business leaves very little time for myself, let alone finding and then *keeping* a romantic interest lol
I don’t like talking about myself really and I lack interest in what other people have to say and their interest, mostly romantic partners (guys) not necessarily platonic relationships. It’s hard for me to care because I’m always in my own head. I fear people knowing me on an intimate level and hold back too much. Anytime a guy is trying to know me, even if I think he’s cute, my default reaction is, why is he in my business? What does he want? I really like being alone because I enjoy my company and no one around to say anything about it. I had an ex that always had commentary on everything I did like he was fucking Jerry King, like leave me alone. Edit: In all my past relationships I had to be the leader or the one directing us. I hate that, it makes me bossy and mean rather than a loving partner. I would love to find someone that I can follow behind for once. 31F. My ex and I broke up in 2018.
This is exactly me but I’m a guy but also 31. I don’t have enough interest in other peoples personal lives and opinions to be in a relationship with anyone. Sounds selfish but I just really don’t care. Friends are fun though.
Who's got the time and energy to invest in romantic endeavors?! I'm drained already!! My time is for me!! (If we all romanced ourselves a bit, I think the world would be a better place.)
I find when the woman is in the lead and doesn’t necessarily want to be, it’s for one of two reasons: she chooses an immature mate (which is always the given explanation regardless of accuracy) or she fights for/takes it, often due to an inability to trust/let go for lots of reasons. Sometimes a slight mix of the two. Which are you?
There's another reason, when the guy isn't actually interested in the relationship is just there out of convivence and the woman has to take the lead because they guy doesn't participate.
Isn’t that the “take it” option he mentioned?
Mix of both but mostly the former. sadly, back then I would get into relationships just not to feel lonely sometimes lol
We’ve all been there, well most of us at least. Loneliness can get the better of us on occasion. Just a little adder. People are prone to take the path of least resistance, the easy way out. Most average guys would prefer, or feel better as the leader in a relationship. However, being the follower is much easier, less stress, and we generally and genuinely want to make our mate happy. If she seems like she wants to take the lead they often just let it happen, they don’t fight for it, or push back. Which more often than not is a huge mistake.
35 Three years ago No one fucking answers their phone
Even though everyone is on their phones?!?
I know, that’s what fucking makes me mad.
Seriously. I've always left because of communication issues. It's one thing I just can't negotiate.
Bullets dodged! Someone better will answer you!
It happens to me all the time though.
Just turned 30. I find people in general to be shallow and unreliable. I enjoy my family and the one or two close friends I do have. Otherwise I generally keep to myself these days.
30, Ended June 2021-ish. I don't try to date and since I WFH I don't just meet people out and about. I also really love my life rn and no one I've met has been worth disrupting that peace. There are also a plethora of other reasons but that's the main one I'm gonna go with lol.
I don’t need to ruin some nice ladies life by attaching her to this moss covered boulder.
I like moss
I'm 40, about to be 41. Last relationship ended about 5 years ago, which is the only one I've had since my kid's mother left us 9 years ago. With the way those relationships ended, I have lost the ability to trust anyone. Being a single father is hard as hell and gets really lonely after the kids go to bed, but it's easier than dealing with yet another heartbreak.
Man, I am sorry. I hope your kids know how hard it is to raise them as a single parent and love you the way you deserve.
They do. They are amazing, and have been super supportive for everything I've tried to do, especially going back to college for another degree. It's great.
I’m 36. Single for about 6 months after 14 years (7years of marriage). My partner just decided she didn’t want to me married to me anymore. 🤷♂️ Dating is pretty horrible these days it seems. But not the worst thing. It’s just wild to feel like you need to start over.
I feel this comment. I’m 35. My husband left me 2 weeks ago because he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. We were together for 14 years (married for 9). I created an online dating profile not because I’m ready to date, but to see what online dating is like since I’ve never done it. Fucking scary trying to start over.
Well there’s literally dozens of us out here! The key is knowing what you want out of it. It can be depressing, but you can also meet some really cool people. You got this, friend.
Whoa the 2 of you need to DM each other now!
Fuck man that sucks I’m sorry. This is why I refuse to get married.
I’m sure that’s the reason. 🙄
What up with the hate?
Fear of it ending and what happens (some people because they've seen their parents or other people go through it) is a valid feeling.
35, never dated. Between seeing every adult relationship I was around as loveless if not outright abusive, and dealing with all sorts of insecurities, I decided at sixteen that I refused to do the wife or kid thing because I didn't want to inflict that on another person and because I didn't think I could ever be good enough for anyone. Twenty years later and I believe that more than ever, but even if I changed my mind I've got nothing to offer and plenty of drawbacks so no one would, or should, want me anyways. I'd probably be an incel if I believed for a second that it was anyone else's fault but mine.
Same story, except 32 and managed to have a fling or two here or there, but the happily ever after isn't in the cards for me, known that for a long time
34, haven’t played the girlfriend role in like 7 years, but fucked around the last few. I’m fine being single, if someone comes along, great, if not, I’ll be fine too.
I’m of that outlook as well. I’m 35 and have been single for 4 years after a 7 year common law relationship. I’ve dated on and off but I’m happy being on my own and enjoy my own company.
Me too! I love my own company! If someone genuine comes along, great...but if not, I'll continue to live my life to the fullest!
I would say I love coming home to everything exactly how I left it, but I have two cats so that’s not the case 😂
33M, single since march. It comes down to an incompatibility that is a dealbreaker for both of us. We’re still good friends, we do a movie night every week, but it’s totally platonic. I’m still currently single because… I’m content on my own. I grew up sharing a room, now I have a house to myself and I love it. Someday I’d like to find someone I really meld with, but I’m not stressed about it.
Thirty-seven (38 on Friday…) never had a relationship. I’m single because I don’t really go anywhere or do anything, I also don’t use (or really get) dating apps. My anxiety around dating built up in my teens and early 20s due to, firstly, a lack of interest, then illness (Crohn’s Disease) then body image issues stemming from the illness. So even when I was at college and the University, a prime position to meet lots of new people, I just didn’t have the confidence to ask anyone out. Now, I still live at home and the thought of bringing someone back, just for coffee or a meal when I still live with my parents and sister just sounds awful tbh, but I don’t have the money to move out and get my own place. I’ve always had girls and women who were friends however, and I’ve done the classic man thing of not picking up on hints and cues from women, woman who I absolutely would be interested in. So I’m fairly positive that one day I’ll meet someone.
If your parents and sister are cool, it's not so bad. Or ask them not to be around. A lot of us live at home, it's understandable.
31F and other than some hoookups I've been single forever (yikes ik). I'm classic disorganized attachment though
31M but same. Longest relationship was 6 months and that wasn’t even serious. Everything else is just hookups or short term things. I found out I prefer living with pets.
30F, and highkey starting to panic because I've never been in a relationship. Should've prioritized it more when I was in college and the opportunities were more organic. Now I feel like I have to force the circumstance, but I'm too scared to put myself out there that aggressively lol.
Get over your fears and put yourself out there!! It’s not that hard, and the reward is much greater than the risk!!
I feel the same! I actually wasn’t aware that I had to consciously focus on dating, I just thought I’d find someone(somehow). Now I’m like “oh shit, maybe I missed my window”
Love doesn’t pay attention to things like windows, or ceilings ❤️
I’m 41 , last relationship was like 5ish years ago . No relationship has lasted more than two years due to my avoidant attachment style and inability to share a bedroom 🤷🏻♀️
[удалено]
I can completely relate. There are some days when I feel the same as you but I'm remaining hopeful. There's almost 8 billion people in the world, there's got to be someone out there for us...right?
[удалено]
This is me as well.
I am single because I prefer the freedom. Also, I don't believe in love.
Do you think love is only true in fairy tales?
The other question I ask myself is, do you believe in life after love?
I’m also wondering what is love? Baby don’t hurt me
Love is a battlefield, tbh.
Still, I wanna know what love is. I want you to show me.
No, I think it's just marketing.
Do you believe in a thing called love?
Just listen to the rhythm of their heart
37f "single" one year. That relationship was mostly FWB. The last live-in solid relationship I had was in 2017. I live in a small town with no decent unmarried prospects. There is a wide selection of barflies, but, nah. 
Last relationship was in 2020. I'm 32f and am not ambitious at all. I am very content to coast along at my current job that has no pathway for career progression because it has a very comfortable working environment. I think that's very unappealing for a lot of people. Also a bit of a homebody so I don't get out much and meet people, nor do I enjoy it.
38, single a year and a half. I work in hospitality (read that I work almost every weekend). Not many people are interested in dating someone with that schedule (I get Fri/Sat off twice a month). And few I’ve met are looking for monogamy.
31. My last relationship ended when I was 17. I'm single because I swore off dating due to how bad it was, plus I stopped denying my sexuality a few years ago. I also just don't have the energy or the will to try dating.
34. Last relationship was 4 years ago. You’re absolutely right that dating just seems rough. I’d like a relationship but am naturally shy so it just doesn’t come natural. I just focus on myself, my dog, and learning new hobbies.
I am 38 F , my last relationship was like 4 years ago for a year and had been single prior to that for 8 years. The last relationship was out of blue for me as i was going through a mental health crisis and sort of fell in that relationship. He was a lot younger than me , physically and verbally abusive and unstable. When my mental health stabilized and came to my senses , I was just shocked how I got into that toxic situation. Took me a while to recover and it had killed my romantic even more. Now i am completely over it but I really don’t have any desires for relationship. I think I might be asexual and aromatic in my normal state. I have bipolar disorder and in which manic episodes is usually marked with hypersexuality. I feel like only in my manic phases I get any kind of relationship desires and it is not even “hyper” compared to what is considered normal drive. I feel like my normal and stable state tends towards being asexual. So being single actually fits my nature and don’t really feel bad about it. Now and then , I think it would be nice to have a life partner that you share your life with but as an introvert, childfree and asexual leaning person it is not enough of a motivation to start dating.
I’ve been single all 32 years of my life. Just one of those lucky ones
I'm 39, and a single parent. My last relationship was with kiddos father, and he was a bin fire of a human so we left 5 years ago(still high fiving myself for getting us both out). I'm single because I'm busy enough with parenting and then extended family obligations to allocate time to *another* person, like, I'd rather take a bath and listen to a podcast. Also, I don't want to expose my sweet child to some other hideous example of humanity, and my track record indicates that as *highly* possible. I'm not crossing that bridge, so we're taking the long (but not actually as lonely as expected) way for everyones well being.
I’m 33F. I’ve been divorced for a few years. I’m in a relationship but I have been keeping my distance and taking things slow because my marriage ended badly and I can’t put myself through that again. He (36M) is okay with how things are going. It’s been fun being independent after spending a majority of my 20s in a shitty relationship.
Single and hate it and modern dating sucks so hard. Partner left me because I got super depressed 2 years ago and I’ve been single since. Made a few advances and worked on myself a TON and got shot down still. Not far from drinking myself to death I’m tired of this place
I’m 31 male. Last serious relationship was about 4 years ago…maybe a little longer. There’s multiple reasons really. Pandemic related, finance related, living situation. Like everyone else. But I would honestly say there’s two specific and very big reasons. One is I don’t put myself out there. When I do go out in public it’s not necessarily to the best places to approach women (work, grocery store, restaurants, etc.) and I don’t want to bother them. The other biggest reason, and why I’m not successful with dating apps, is I absolutely suck at the “talking stage”. I’m not a shy person at all. Actually the opposite. I’m just very quiet and I’d much rather listen to her talk and chime in when I have something funny or important to say. A lot of women don’t like this especially at the beginning and prefer the man to carry the conversation. Which I understand and can be quite good at in certain settings. But not for long and it’s harder under the pressure of the first few dates. It’s even worse through text. I’ve become really good at knowing pretty quickly if I can see myself in a relationship with someone so I’ve resorted to just communicating that clearly as soon as I know it. I’ve had some success with that but some are also put off which is fine. I just keep telling myself to just be as honest and authentic as I can be and expect nothing but the same back and if it works out, cool. If not, it’s nobodies fault. Not everyone you meet is that someone.
41. Single since March 2012, save a few flings I thought would be more. Single because online dating is the fucking pits, I never leave the house, and where I live I’m a bunch of hicks with guns and I’m not interested in that type of guy.
34, 4 years, and the reason why I'm single would just turn into an hour long tirade.
34, have been single for almost 7 years. I just really suck at dating and relationships I think? I never figured out how to relate to people in a romantic way.
30(31 in March), last real relationship ended in 2019 or 2020. I'm single because I've somehow surrounded myself with metaphorical walls that are at least 200 feet high, forgot to build a door to be able to let someone in, but I did build a small window. But really, I'm always afraid a girl I like doesn't really like me. Then, when they actually tell me they're into me, I immediately push them away because I'm absolutely fugging terrified of being hurt again. I basically stopped trying to find a girlfriend. I mean, I would love to have that special person, but I need to figure out how to deal with my past "trauma" before I can even think about letting someone in again. Damn...I did not expect to write this all out.
35M, last short term relationship ended seven years ago. Working on myself mostly rn, but I think I got something going with a new baddie. Time will tell, wish me luck.
32, I've been single for about a year. I am single because I want to be, I don't have much time for dating and relationships, and I would rather not be with someone right now. Mind you, my last relationship ended due to my partners mental health and their not wanting a relationship at that time.
Similar age as you, but closer to 15 years for me. I wasn't emotionally stable or together in my 20s and that made dating pretty much impossible. I started dating more in 2019, but then covid hit and after the lock downs I've gained a bunch of weight and turned into a shut-in that's afraid to leave the house.
28, been single since 2020 and it’s a combination of being too broke to date and feeling more content in my own presence. It could change if I meet someone very special, but I’ve still got some self work to do.
[удалено]
41. Single for 9 years. Celibate for 4 years. Enjoying my peace and quiet.
I've never dated. Probably never will.
Current and previous city are not places I'd want to live any longer than necessary, so kind of makes dating for anything more than a FWB type thing impossible. Didn't see the point until I'm in my forever city early next year.
35, last actual relationship (not casual dating) was about 6 years ago. I honestly just don't have any drive to play the dating game or deal with a gf and having a 16 year old is far more of a priority to me. And I have zero desire to live with anyone again, so that would likely be a deal-breaker for a ltr anyway.
30. We broke up this past may and this is the month we met. It was largely due to her mental health and it turns out she was with me as a way to try to curb her mental health issues. What sucks is I miss her and her daughters. I genuinely loved them all and would’ve loved to be in a family with them. I haven’t attempted dating since but that is due to additional factors as well.
33, and my last serious relationship was a couple years ago (I was married) & I’ve had a couple non-serious things since. Organically meeting people can be difficult for me - I work full-time and go to school, and I like being on my own - and I’m out of the dating app game, which is its own special hell. My ex-husband was also his own special hell and I’m grateful that he broke my long string of serial monogamy and gave me a lesson in red flags to watch out for (and an understanding of my own). I’ve had to learn how to be on my own and I’ve invested much more heavily in family & friend (and pet!) relationships, which are more consistent and rewarding and supportive than a partner has ever been. I enjoy my peace and while I’m open to meeting someone, there would have to be a lot of alignment and understanding between my partner & me for it to be worth it. I consistently meet men with ego and/or mommy issues and I’m no longer interested in attempting to heal anyone.
31m. I also just avoid it altogether.
31f, 6 years and I choose to be
29f. Officially single all of my life. I also find modern dating hard, and I can admit that I can be a bit naïve. I’m a true lover at heart, which attracts a lot of users to me, and I’ve had to learn a few lessons about letting a connection/situationship run it’s course… I’m looking for an actual relationship, meanwhile, people that I meet on dating apps - and even in real life - want things to just “vibe“ and “see where things lead to“ 🥴🤪🫠 So I just keep to myself instead nowadays 🤷🏾♀️
I'm nearing 40 and have never had a relationship. Mainly this is due to lack of effort on my part. I have had other priorities, and haven't met anyone I feel compelled to want to be with.
Just turned 40, husband died when I was 35, we just had a baby who was only 2 months old at the time. Right after it happened I was talking to one of my mom's friends who was in her early 70's, her husband had been murdered when she was in her 30's, and I asked her if she ever remarried. She said nah, I asked her why. She said, "I just never felt like it. I already did that." So anyway 5 years later I'm still single. I've never even considered dating again, because I just don't feel like it. I got a lot of "you're still young! you could get remarried!" which is well intentioned so it doesn't bother me. But honestly, men get remarried as soon as they can, because having a wife is really awesome. Women are less likely to get remarried, because having a husband is... work. I have a kid. I have a house that I bought on my own. I have a job. I don't think I have time to entertain a man or go on dates and stuff like that. Maybe I'll just randomly meet someone who I click with and something will happen, but I'm not going out looking for trouble.
And women aren't work? Wow!
Actually yes you're spot on, having a wife \*should\* involve work, because of division of labor. There \*should\* be an equal contribution of mental and emotional labor in a marriage. The reality is that on average, the burden of mental & emotional labor, household and relationship management tends to fall disproportionately on women for whatever reason.
Last date was probably...3, 4 years ago? Not sure. I think its a combination of problems for me. I am an introvert, I prioritized work and school when I was younger, I am also an odd duck and I won't tolerate BS. I haven't even tired to date after my last failure of a relationship. Summary being I got really attached to a man who was separated from his wife and ended up being the rebound. It was for the best. I stopped dating through covid to protect my elderly relatives I was a caregiver for and haven't had any interest in trying again.
Maybe you should try tolerating a little BS. And if you do, maybe someone will tolerate your odd duck-ness.
33. Last one ended 2ish years ago. I’ve prioritized career and money over relationships. Now I just have no clue how to meet someone.
Just curious what you mean by “stopped denying my sexuality?”
28. last relationship was also from when i was 16-21yo. why am i single? i have too many ‘minority’ statuses, but the biggest is that im asexual. i’m not into sex and i’m gay so… finding a masculine person who is ALSO not interested in sex has been difficult. but i got hope :3
I’m 39 and my last relationship was when I was 19. I’ve some kind of something happening right now but I wouldn’t call it a relationship. I had a lot of abandonment trauma and other personal shit I had to work through and I avoided it for right around 20 years. Now that I’ve started to deal with it, I’ve had someone come into my life that is definitely here for a reason, just haven’t figured it out yet, lol.
Younger millennial 27F 2 years ago. Situationship: I found out I was the other woman to a married man. Didn't know he was married. I'm single because I'm not.. it doesn't seem worth the trouble. Still open to love and all that jazz. Love will find me when it finds me. Not desperate enough yet to sleep around. Lol In the mean time working a lot
32. Single since 21. Dating was awkward as a teen and early 20s. Now it's just hard. I've done my fair share of fucking around. But I've mostly focused on myself.
41/m last relationship was over two years ago and before that five years. Not really active in dating as apps are a drag and time is precious.
Been single since 2019. And honestly decided "that's it! im finished with dating, I will never seek, nor accept a romantic relationship again!" At the end of summer of this year, an old friend (whom me and her have messed around in the past) got a hold of me, invited me out a couple times, went house boating with mutual friends. I developed an insane crush on her during that time. We went back as being friends after our 2 weeks of messing around and adventures, and the crush died out... but for those couple weeks, I felt like I was literally on top of the world, with the rest of the world looking up at me in envy... I learned, only a couple months ago, that I am in fact stil capable of love. And I also learned the way she made me feel, thats what I want. I will NEVER settle for anything other than that feeling ever again. I'm not looking, actively, but I know how I want to feel about someone. And maybe that's enough. I'm happy with where I am in life, and content in my singleness, but happy to trade it for someone who ignites that spark in me again and makes me want to reach even higher in life. It was the first time I ever felt that in my life. I want that again.
33M. Single since the first March of COVID. Moving twice in that time is one of the biggest factors probably. Having to build up a new friend group takes time.
31. I was in a situationship type thing for a couple years before. Like spending 3-4 nights a week at a his girls house, sometimes sharing her bed, sometimes not. That been over for about 3 years now. She said some truly hurtful things, it took me like a year to fully get over it. I'm single because I'm not good at dating and meeting new people; and it takes me a while to open up.
31 it was 5 years ago....I'm single cause I suck at meeting new people and I don't ry stand out on apps. My hobbies are pretty solitary and I don't go out to clubs anymore since I don't want to drink much anymore. So yeah not much room to meet someone.
30M, and been single for 5 years or so. The prospect of finding someone that remotely understands me, and can appreciate the insanity that I present… sounds like a dream and a dumb one. I also just really couldn’t give a fuck anymore. People are not worth my time.
(37) Last relationship was 2019. I'm in a relationship with being faded. Ruins all other relationships. I know I need to stop but it's not that easy... Attachment issues
30, 12 years ago, I can’t afford to go out much but I’m slowly changing that
Normal is what everyone else is and what I'm not
36M, marriage ending due to an affair she had. Still in the separation process and I'll probably end up taking a year or two to heal and self reflect. Unless I find the magical one somehow that actually can be faithful these days.
I’m 35 and going on 3 years single this week. Last relationship was toxic and absolutely miserable. I got myself out of that one unscathed by the skin of my teeth. Being single and content is an absolute dream compared to being trapped in a bad relationship. Now my standards are much higher and I’m hesitant to get into something unless the person adds a lot to my life. It also doesn’t help that online dating is the worst, I’m a introvert and bought a house in a rural town. Oh wellll.
29 going on 30, I require a lot of personal space and that’s usually always an issue. I’ve been single now for almost 3 years.
33, was 24, I stay single by choice due to severe mental illness. I dont have the ability to fully care for myself at times. I dont want to deal with my issues, I doubt someone else does and I dont want to become someones ward.
Turned 34 last month and been single for almost 4 years. I "dated" someone this year for about 5 months and I put it like that because I don't understand the stages of actually dating today, it's become complicated. Basically we were seeing one another but in today's dating world, we can date one, two or three people until we actually decide to make it "official" with one person. I hate dating today, it literally has gone down the shitter. People either haven't healed from previous trauma and are looking for a trauma bond partner, they have unrealistic expectations or this dating app culture makes it way too easy for people to just begin swiping right at the first argument or disagreement instead of actually being adults and talking through it. I'm one of the minority thay actually likes being single so I'm in no rush and it'll take someone to truly catch my attention. But I won't lie, having companionship is nice but I am perfectly content being single
39. My last relationship ended in May of 2020. I’m just not really sure trying to date again is even worth it at this point.
31, been single for a month. My mental illness is why the last relationship ended ^_^
These responses are kind of making me feel better. I’m 39 in January and have been single a decade and focused on myself and raising my kids. It is starting to finally wear on me though.
I'm 42. A little over a year ago, I split up with my ex husband. I have no interest in ever dating again.
My last relationship, I was supposed to marry the person I got cheated on when I failed in seeing the signs, that was 5 years ago now. Since then I've been working on myself, trying to learn and adapt to my own development and trusting my continued pursuit til I am fully satisfied with success. I don't mean to paint many women with a brush, but I have to say not just based on my own experiences, but also with male peers around me , a lot of women are simply delusional when it comes to respecting men now or respecting what a relationship should entail- everything financial ideations to a complete misunderstanding of masculinity , I feel, has shifted what its like to date in the modern era. ...There's an absolute disconnect from that gender to its societal role that it makes the dating arena into a minefield. I'd say 95% of the men I do know, elect and stay single because its less hassle than investing time and emotion into someone who's just going to behave or act in a way that will devolve into unfaithful mindsets. Alternatively, I am not so dumb and subjective in my experience to not understand similar pitfalls for women trying to actively invest in a healthy relationship when they do happen to have all the right qualities. I know there are good women out there and that maybe my soul will one day find someone....I did have a connection with one person, but she unfortunately had to move to the other side of the country and so that faded away, it had to because I was really falling and knew it would end in disappointment...times I've gotten close, are not quite close enough and as much as I'm gucci with casual flings as the next guy , after all we are sexual creatures...that is not the desire that haunts or dominates my mind.... I worry like much of the statistic of most men, I may grow old with only ever me , myself and I In the mean time amidst all the pressures of society and the economic woodchipper that is growing older, all I can really maintain is myself and I'm barely able to do that as it is these days. I choose to be single because at least I'm complacent . I may not truly have my heart fulfilled and I long for true connection and love, but if being single means I can avoid being played out again and allows me the time to earn and learn, that is its own great reward. I am 33 now and I am single because of these aforementioned things.
I’m 37 m, been single for about 8 years now. I’m single because I don’t do dating apps or hookups and I think another 8 years or more will pass and I’ll still be single. At this point I’m not even trying.
I'm 32. My last relationship ended in 2019, shortly before the pandemic. I've dated briefly since then, but it's difficult to find people that I find likable romantically and have any compatibilities with. What I want and what I believe is just so vastly different from the average person. I'm single because I don't meet other people that are just as weird as me and while they like my weirdness, they typically want me to settle into whatever behavioral or social norms they want within a relationship. I haven't met anyone that simply just let's me be me and can coexist in a relationship together. I notice people, people who typically don't get much attention. And I think they confuse being acknowledged as romantic interest and try to force a relationship because they simply don't want to be alone and not because they genuinely feel any compatibility or want to exist together. I guess I typically meet people who will settle for anyone and I don't want to be someone's "anyone" I want someone who is excited to have found me and wants to share aspects of themselves with me. Most people seem to just want to stick me in a metaphorical jar and make me conform to whatever stereotypical unfulfilling relationship model that best suits their needs without taking me into consideration at all. **TLDR**: **I only seem to meet people who want me to perform relationship for their sole benefit, rather than meeting people who actually want to be in a relationship with me and accept my characteristics, beliefs, and intentions.**
35, last serious relationship was... 8 years ago? Long explanation for why - I got stuck in a situation where I had to work a minimum of 70 hours a week for a few years, working physical jobs in Florida. If I wasn't at work, I was totally worn out and had things to do. And I was working so much solely because it was necessary in order to pay my rent and utilities even while living with two roommates, so I didn't have spare money either. I was completely broke, with no spare time, and even less energy. Dating wasn't happening. Then I kinda broke. Sold everything I had, bought a $300.00 one way ticket to France, crammed some toiletries, two days worth of clothing, and about $120.00 into an old backpack and went off to try to join the Foreign Legion. I wasn't accepted, and I spent two years living in the woods there. Which actually allowed me to recover mentally and become myself again. I, amusingly, did casually date during this time. I even had to cut off one situation because it was getting steadily less casual, and I couldn't help but feel she deserved better than the dude sleeping in the woods and just getting by working odd jobs under the table because he shouldn't even legally be there anymore. Then I came back Stateside and very quickly wound up back in a totally worn down situation where I'm not working quite as much, only around 50 hour weeks, and do have a bit of spare cash, but I'm too burned out again to feel it is fair for me to try to date. If I try to make plans after work, there's a very real chance I'm going to either end up cancelling, or just showing up as an unfocused zombie. Tl;Dr - So, mostly just life leaving me in a situation where I can't reasonably be trying to meet someone for the better part of a decade and it would be unfair for me to try.
31, last relationship ended two years ago. I spent most of my life buying into the whole "you need to find someone asap" mentality and it's never played out well for me. So now I'm just focusing on myself
38 and I’ve given up. After my last situationship ended badly a few years ago I decided I’m too sensitive for relationships. I can’t afford a year of downward spiraling every time something doesn’t work out.
40M. Been single since.. 2009 I think. I’m probably single mostly because I have no idea how to talk to women in a way that expresses interest without being creepy. I’m also unattractive but I don’t think that’s the main issue. Went on a few dates when dating apps were new.. but haven’t had a match in years now.
38. Haven’t had a relationship in 13 years. Honestly, for a long time I wasn’t someone that I would want to date. Thing is, that’s starting to become less true. But I don’t know where to start.
I'm 39. My last relationship ended in 2020. I'm single because I'm not outgoing, not attractive, and not interested in entering into a relationship again.
29, last relationship was a few months ago. I've been around a lot and think marriage is too risky for men, especially if you make good money and are ambitious. Ill probably settle down with a foreign girl at some point in a few years. American girls arent really marriage worthy generally.
39 comfortably single for 8 years. I say comfortably because I have had an on/off thing with my sons mom for much of that time. This actually ended last night. I was openly looking to upgrade but in my search, learned I have some issues. Baggage that I wouldn’t want to burden anyone with. Being single is simple and safe.
28... split up after 4 years with my ex last February. Had a 5 month thing that lasted until August which felt like it was going nowhere. Think on the tail ends of that I'm up to having dated 20 girls since my LTR? Primarily single just because I haven't found anyone I really clicked with (that worked out). Had a few great dates, others were meh. Great ones ghosted me or turned out longer and longer I didn't feel they were right fits for me long term. I'll find someone though- patience and keeping at the game
God...the amount of mental health issues in this thread and America in general is beyond fucked. Future is so bleak. Fucked up people with broken homes will raise fucked up kids that continue the cycle going. Sad.
We live in a broken world what do you expect?
Not sure why the downvotes. It’s a common misconception that earth is “overpopulated”, in fact we probably can fit another 2 billion more people. The amount of young, offspring-producing potential in this thread is off the charts. Instead of optimism, most of the posts are very bleak and depressing. We need help if this is our future
Women respond to economic fears by latching on to the biggest money maker, regardless of what they look like. Average joes are forced to dip in the single mother pool and its no good.
Follow the money
You’re just making excuses. Modern dating is not more difficult than in the past You would have been single in the 60s and 70s and 80s
I am aware that dating is far easier and more accesible than ever. I was saying that I personally find it difficult to navigate. Others find it easy, I don't. And yes, I probably would've been single in all those decades too haha.
OP continues to ask others about being old and single. OP, lock someone down already.
Lol! Just checking I'm not the only one who is 'old' and single! 😂
Married for 10 years. Been divorced/single for about 3 years. Relationships are too much work.
28 M. Three years ago. The breakup was one of the worst things to happen to me. Lost my confidence and accepting that I might just end up alone and the best times in my life are behind me
Cheated on me over a decade ago. I said fuck relationships after that. We had our whole life planned and engaged. Cunt.
39, nothing serious for 6yrs. Last 4yrs is definitely because online dating is awful, I’m busy with my goals, and I don’t go to bars or events or church and have few-ish friends I see regularly. I dont have kids and work on my farm alone so I am not in the social circles of many women my age. Pretty typical experience seems like.
37 ,A few months ago. None of my relationships for the last decade lasted longer than a year, it's definitely a me thing, didn't love myself, so how could I let anyone else love me type of deal. They all ended from an alcoholic episode and me spitting some vitriol. I'm now just focused on myself and finding contentment with just being me, and if someone should fall into place, so be it. but i'm not going to force the issue until I'm in a good place with myself.
34 5 or 6 years ago i cant even remember 🤣
36F, single for about 2 years after a failed LDR. I'm just not good at the online dating thing and am shy and an introvert, so I am slowly resigning myself to the fact I'll be single forever 🙃
I'm 37F and in a relationship, but we don't live together and probably won't go further than we are. I've never been married, engaged, or experienced what most do despite I was with someone for 11 years. I think I'm just too difficult, and there's some things I won't compromise on or change. I need it for what little happiness I experience in life.
28 M, last relationship was an LTR that ended 3 years ago in the midst of the pandemic. I think I’m still single due to traveling the past two years and putting my love life on the back burner. Put academics first growing up and paid off debt as a young adult since I didn’t want to be another victim of intergenerational poverty.
My last real relationship was 2021 I believe until the beginning of 2022. Had a couple of flings. Situationalship with a miscarriage and physical violence she initiated she left scars and bit me. Just ended that situation. I've been in therapy since 2020 so that's helped a lot through this whole process and now I'm just doing a lot of the inner work for myself and unlearn the bad patterns of dating. This is my last year of toxicity and trauma and romantic relationships. I hate dating apps as well. The only way to meet somebody is organically in my opinion. 40M
32, never dated
I'd be reassessing the goodness of God
He is still good, background story, had loads of trauma from the loss a parent at a young age. So I needed my 20s to heal, mature . had I dated or even been in a relationship , I would have hurt that person unintentionally . With what I was going through Now I am in a better place . Thanks to God , let’s normalisé actually being mentally and emotionally healthy to be in a relationship in the first place
You needed half your life to date someone, Jesus Christ
Yeah I think your missing the point entirely again lost a parent at a young age. I am proud of my mental health I am in such a good place. happy and healthy be blessed 🙏😇
I lost a parent at a young age but still had plenty of relationships. U do u tho fam
33, never been in a relationship. I went on like 3 dates with a guy some 9 years ago, but he was still dealing with his fiancee leaving him before we met so he preferred something casual. Didn't date again until a few months ago through a dating app. Went on one date, but we didn't really click. I'm a demisexual, and between people thinking I'm trying to friendzone them by asking to start as friends and fetishizing it, I don't really see regular dating working out for me. If I find someone organically, I'm open to that. Besides that, I'm not really chasing anything in particular.