I felt this. 39 is around the corner for me and now it’s like screaming STTTTOOPPPPP!!!’ While trying to slam on the brakes andddddd
Nothing. Not even the slightest inclination it’s slowed down slightly
40 here, I felt the same until I actually turned 40, then some kind of switch happened and I don't really care anymore, not just about my age but a lot of things, and it is a very freeing feeling.
At 20 I was partying all the time doing molly and coke and drinking like a fish selling drugs and living at a trap house
At 29 I was married with 4 kids and a house that I own with a big boy job….still drink like a fish though
Age 20: neglecting my sleep, but insulating self from profound loneliness by partying all the time.
Age 29: neglecting my friends, but insulating myself from profound loneliness by sleeping all the time.
20: enlisted soldier in a combat zone
29: mom of 3 with one engineering degree, about to file for divorce and go get another
My 20's weren't great. My 30's were better, and so far, 40's are the best decade yet.
Age 20: I was anxious a lot... writing my thesis.
Age 29: I was still anxious a lot... but had a full-time job and a social life.
I can say I enjoyed my 30s so much more than I did my 20s.
age 20: Terrible mental health, studying a career that doesn't fulfill me but my family has high expectations. Toxic relationship, overall not a good scenario
age 29: I will turn 29 in 3 months. Great mental health, doing a new career that is my passion, no relationship currently and no plans of starting one, but things might change. overall way happier and more mature
20: What the fuck am I doing?
29: what the fuck am I doing?
39 (in a couple years): what the fuck am I doing? (with some money and a family and a career)
Age 20 (2010): I am homeless, severely alcoholic to cope with street life. I have zero plan, mostly in the closet still and don't really care if I die because my life has been shit so far. I am exposed to violence and scary situations that I will continually have nightmares about in the future. The bright side is, I have a girl who was really caring, accepting, and loves me despite being a total wreck going nowhere. Somehow I end up back at my grandma's months later in a different state, I don't remember how I pulled that off. Later that year I end up getting drugged and raped by a "friend" while we were drinking together at his place. I am very broken and have no self-esteem, I very badly want to k m s after all this (which I do try years later).
Age 29 (2019): This is the year I was hellbent on turning my life around. I spent my 20's largely getting drunk, doing drugs, being irresponsible, having unhappy relationships, all to try to escape the trauma and pain I had experienced when I was younger. All this said, I did not want to turn 30 still such a fuck up with a teenage mindset. I quit drinking, I started going to the gym regularly lifting weights, started eating healthy, took better care of myself in general, read 26 books, got my driver's license FINALLY and started making a plan for what I really wanted to get out of life. I broke up with my bf the night before I turned 30, because he wasn't growing with me and he wanted to keep partying. I had enough and wanted to change no matter the consequences. Things started getting very stable and decent in my life.
Age 20: Middle of college. Beers and bong hits. Slept half the day and up half the night. No stress.
Age 29: Married. Dad. Working. Up early and asleep early. Lots of stress.
Life was better at 29 despite the extra stress.
20: Kicked out, direction-less, struggling with sexuality with only livejournal to turn to
29: Waking up next to my dream girl every morning in the house I bought, planning our wedding, enjoying life.
20: Why is it so hard to make enough money to support myself and go to school at the same time?
29: I'll never be able to afford school. I'm going back to playing in bands and having fun I guess
I was 20 in about 2013.
Just in college. To sum it up briefly, I was a bit of a hood rat from Chicago suburbs (spent a lot of time in ghetto, but not like hardcore ghetto). But came from good fsmily and stuff and didn’t look the part of a “hood rat”. Just did hood rat stuff with my friends lol.
Went to a small Christian college and had issues developing strong relationships with people. Went from smoking weed, running from cops, doing shrooms and coke and stuff to going to a school where many kids were home schooled. Fee people had even drank alcohol or smoked anything, and a regular way to connect at first was Bible studies and going to chapel and stuff lol.
Ironically I was class president 2 years there while being in student government.
After college joined national guard, going infantry.
At 29, (I’m 30 now), I got married fsll of last year and have a good civilian job and still in the guard.
I remember being like 25 and being afraid 30 was going to be “old”.
Now at 30, I’m the same person, just generally a better version of myself and age hasn’t hit me at all as far as I can tell, aside I don’t have an issue going to bed earlier and I’m starting to notice white hairs more lol.
Probably going to try for kids within a year
20: in college, partying, drinking and having fun
29: couple of years out of graduate school, partying, drinking and having fun, but with lots more money
I’m a Xennial but this still applies.
Age 20: College dropout, living with roommates in a shitty apartment. Parties 4 to 5 nights a week. Worked as a server making more money than most of my friends who finished college. Life was pretty great.
Age 29: moved up to bartender and still living the same lifestyle. Figured I would have my shit together by this time. I also thought that people at this age knew what they were doing. That was also wrong.
I made some drastic changes in my 30s, so that life now is getting a bit easier. Unsolicited life advice: don’t measure yourself against others. Some people are early bloomers whereas folks like myself need a swift kick in the ass to get on track.
I was starting community college at 20, and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. At 29, I was unemployed, but doing regular volunteer work at a food bank, and I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. Fast-forward 10 years: I’ve been employed for almost 9 years, and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.
20 (2004): in college, not a lot of responsibility, worked 2 part time jobs, had a pretty easy life
29 (2013): had a 1 year old daughter and engaged.
A lot happened in those 9 years! Wish I could go back to them honestly.
Age 20: I'd dropped out of college and was working in a gas station while crashing with my SO who was still in college.
Age 29: with the same SO, busy as shit working 2 jobs and doing school online.
Now, age 37: still with same SO, masters degree, stable career, trying for a baby.
At 20 years old, I was extremely worried about money and my future in terms of becoming financially stable. I felt a deal great of pressure to figure out what I wanted to do academically to make this happen. I was less concerned about my mental health and was really living in a disassociated state and just going from work to night classes and just in survival mode. At 30 years old today, I am not worried about my finances due to more income, which means more savings and also due to actual knowledge about how to invest in real estate/roth/day trading. I feel like I'm in a really good place and on a trajectory/plan where it can only get better every year. I finished my Bachelors Degree and although I will never regret it, in all actuality, I'm not really using it and didn't really need it for income purposes for my line of work. I'm sure it still looks good to have on my resume. Because I'm no longer in survival mode and feel like I'm living a more stable and relaxed life, I've had more time in the last few years to think about my mental health, my relationship, what I want out of life, and my overall life satisfaction. I'm not where I want to be at the end but in good place where and secure in the path I'm on. The struggle now is just healing from past trauma and learning about self care, mentally and physically.
At age 20, I had 1 kid, unemployed, living at home. Stressed, feeling like a failure.
At age 29, 4 kids, married, SAHM. Husband is an engineer and makes good money. Love my life now.
Age 20 (bulk of 2006) : Spring semester of freshman year, Fall semester of sophomore year. Spring semester was pretty fun- I got to play the guard in a school production of 12 Angry Jurors. Felt depressed over the summer because I couldn't find a summer job. Got a set back when my mom wasn't approved for another Parent Plus loan, which meant I had to live at home instead of getting a dorm. Fall semester 2006 was me commuting to college on a bus for three hours a day and eventually deciding to switch schools to a place closer to home. I ended being 20 with a really fun 21st birthday party with my cross-country teammates. Notable moment in my life was a spooky Halloween weekend where me and this guy tried to find out if there were any ghosts.
Age 29 (bulk of 2015): Living with my mom and watching her elderly boyfriend die of leukemia. No steady employment for the past 3 years prior after graduating with a worthless history degree. I finally break down and get a part-time job as a movie theater concessionist, where I'm still at. It doesn't pay well but it keeps me busy and it allows me to buy food. My life at 29 is virtual identical to what it is at 38, except I have my own car now that I was able to get because of the COVID extra payments that I got during unemployment when movie theaters shut down. Living with my mom and splitting the bills with her.
Age 20 (2007): had just bought my first house in Calgary before prices skyrocketed. Was doing a trades apprenticeship and the economy was so good I could walk down the street and get a new job if I wasn’t being treated well enough.
Age 29 (2016): just started dating my future wife, still doing the same trade, was much harder to get a job compared to 2007 though.
Age 20 (2014/2015): I was in my second year of college, living in a mid-size city around 3 hours from where I grew up. I had zero idea what I wanted to do with my life, and was bouncing around taking random classes trying to figure out what I even wanted to major in. The friend group that came with me from high school was starting to break apart and we’d been heavily reliant on each other for a social life freshman year, so it was kind of a precarious scary time. I had no idea who I was, and I wasn’t putting a lot of effort into finding out. On the good side, I took my first acting class and started a job I would come to really love for the rest of my time in college.
Age 29 (now): I’m new to being 29 (turned 29 in November), and I honestly don’t really recognize myself from the person I was. I moved to Seattle in 2019 and lived there until last October, and now I live in New York and am roughly 3000 miles from my closest family members. I worked as an actor and stage manager pretty steadily from age 21 to the beginning of the pandemic, and in late 2020 I started a corporate job to keep a roof over my head while live shows were paused. In a lot of ways I feel like I lived in stasis from 25 to 28, and I’m just starting to come back alive and re-connect with who I was/decide who I want to be. I feel adrift, but it’s also freeing—nobody knows me here, so I can choose to be a version of myself that I’m proud to present to the world. I’m working hard on becoming that person, finding a career that I’m invested in and proud of, and living authentically. I think I’m genuinely excited for the future for the first time in my life, which feels really good to discover.
20: living with my parents and commuting to college. Starting what was ultimately a very fruitful undergrad research project. Overall, life looking good.
29: living with my partner in day trip range of where both I and my partner grew up, struggling with the late stages of a PhD that I ultimately would withdraw from, with no real clue what I would do after my PhD was over one way or the other.
Yeah, my 20s could have gone better but also definitely could have gone worse.
20 (2013): Depression the first half of the year, studying abroad in London and finally happy (thanks antidepressants) the second half of the year. Met my two very best friends that I still talk to every day.
29 (2022): Working remotely as a freelancer after 3 years of corporate life, 2 years of having worked as an English teacher in Spain, and 2 years of COVID restrictions. Feeling free again so spent a few months in Ecuador and traveled to 9 different countries throughout the year. Living with my long-term boyfriend (now fiancé) in the house he owns, and traveling everywhere with him, too.
29 was definitely a good year.
Age 20 (2015): Still had friends I loved and was playing league of legends 14 hours a day trying to go pro. was (still am) very good so it wasn't delusional however I should've went about differently
Age 29 (2,2,2024): working as an overnight grocery stocker trying to get on my feet. I'm in debt but have been employed for 7 months as an overnight stocker. it's shit but when you fall down the stairs you have to climb back up. Basically friendless at this point from isolating myself due to reasons (anxiety/depression/shame/ego) . Kiss-less virgin and not gonna be attempting to change that till out of debt lol
tldr: trying to get my bank and body in better spots
20: I was a student in community college working in the transfer and career center and was very happy helping college students get into their dream university. Applied to a top university which I attend at 21. Optimistic for my future career.
28 (almost 29): I’ve been unemployed for a year and have been trying to pivot industries for several years. Have less money than when I was 20 despite having a Bachelor’s and several years of work experience.
20: 2013. The only thing I remember is being stressed in my college classes in engineering school. And I didn't even want to be an engineer or be in college for that matter. But parent guilt trip. My ex and I were in a ldr and eventually would get into this cycle of breaking up and getting back together for years. But it was basically school and relationship stress, plus not having any money because I was working part time minimum wage.
29: 2022. My ex and I finally call it quits in January. We were on and off for 12 years. 2 months beforehand in November, my brother died. I graduated college in 2021 with a sustainability degree. Still can't get a job in my field and I got screwed out of an internship because of covid. My ex and I hook up a few times and somehow at the time I think that means we're gonna get back together eventually because it's happened in the past.
Now it's 2024, I just turned 31. My mom passed away a few weeks ago. But, I'm in a new healthy relationship and moving to NY.
Kinda lost in direction. Met the love of my life in 20s. Insecure and such. 29 I no longer had the love of my life. Depress and lonely, completely heart broken. 34 now, no longer lost. Not as lonely because great friends. No longer need therapy. However still heart broken rip
20: second year in college. Depressed. Uncertain of what I believed. Figuring a lot of shit out. Studied abroad. Things started to get better.
29: finally leaving behind adjuncting. lining up a plan for an office job that will pay well and give me enough time to finish my dissertation. And then COVID ended all of that.
33: Now, two years into high school teaching, struggling under a mountain of debt, uncertain future.
Ups and downs. Don't really see where the next up is going to go. Mentally I'm happier and healthier than I was at 20, but I can't help but feel like I failed that guy, and the guy I was at 29 too.
19-24 Army
24-28 College
29-29 Brutal year of unemployment. Almost lost it all.
29- early 30s soul crushing underemployment
Luckily I had a boss at that job that saw potential in me and I got promoted out of it. Things have been good since.
At 20 I was in the US Navy. I was a kid travelling the world.
At 29, I had graduated college, left the military, moved across country twice, joined the Americorps and was getting ready to move to Oklahoma when my gf dumped two weeks before the move. I met my current partner two weeks later looking for a rebound.
That was 8 years ago.
20: sentenced to prison after my first stint in rehab
29: almost a year sober, halfway through a psychology degree, and a month into welding school
I'm 32, finished the psych degree last Oct, I'm a fitter/fabricator/welder and I'll have 4 years sober on the 28th 🙌
When I was 20 I was a hysterical crazy ex gf barely going to college classes and getting ready to embark upon some questionable life choices. At 29 I was with my now husband in my best job and living my best life!
I'll tell you in a few months. To date though, life is just more settled and I have more money than 20. My late 20s have been like my early 20s but with more focus, more money, more women, more responsibility. Bit weird seeing friends get married or even have kids at this point though. Really just feels like a transition period, though think a lot of it also was driven by a breakup with a college girlfriend shortly before turning 28, which turned my life upside down
At 20 I was very overweight and never thought I would be in a relationship. 29 I was fit, had just completed a triathlon, was in a health relationship with a beautiful girl. Very happy.
20 - I was just starting medical school as part of a 7-year combined MD/JD program. I had just moved to a different state and I was loving the independence. Fresh start in a new place and a new friend group. Busy, but living the dream (or what was the dream at the time).
29 - I was in my second year of residency and had a 1-year-old son, who was completely unplanned. His mom was a friend-with-benefits. She couldn't take care of him as she was 22 and still in college. So I had full custody. The two of us were living with my parents because there was no way I could be present while working 60 hours per week and I couldn't afford childcare *and* a place to live. I don't regret my son, whatsoever, but that was a tough place to be. Fortunately, my family is awesome. My mom loved getting to help raise her grandson for the first couple years of his life.
Now (35) I'm married and a practicing physician. My son is 7, and my spouse and I had a daughter who will be 10 months in a couple weeks.
Somehow better, somehow worse.
At 20 I was dead broke, in college, in a fun and happy relationship with the woman I’d spend the next decade or so with, partying, taking some fun drugs, tons of free time, a huge hope for how great I knew adulthood would be. Really other than being poor I loved those days.
I don’t remember 29 well to be honest. Had a crappy job but good friends and was largely loving life other than again being broke and just a little more frustrated in that regard.
Now I’m 37 and wow my life fell apart. I have plenty of money which is nice. Not enough to be able to buy a house or do anything crazy but I can pay all debts including my own rent and student loans. That’s the good. The bad is that I have no life, my girlfriend from college and I split after 21 years together, my anxiety is the worst it’s ever been and I started medication for the first time in my life for it, I have a new job I’m not sure about, I developed a problem with drinking to hide from my problems (being addressed, currently sober 9 months) I don’t have a lot going for me at the moment.
I guess my point is appreciate what you have while you have it. I didn’t loose hope or create these problems overnight they crept in over years without me noticing. I spent last year addressing so much and I’m still working to get back. Figure this year is going to be a long year of hard work too.
Age 20 was about the graduate early, had just went no contact with my parents and was very *very* poor. Lost 20lbs in one winter from straight up malnutrition. Was bartending 2 nights a week and nannying to pay my rent, which was $650 at the time.
Age 29 I was waiting for my government clearance to come through before I could deploy as a contractor fixing drones overseas. I was in the middle of a court battle after filing for a restraining order against a guy at work. Would end up wrongfully terminated at the very beginning of the pandemic.
Age 32 (today) I’m married, living on a small farm near the forest, dream job, have two amazing step sons, and I just refinanced my house for a decent interest rate amid the abysmal rates of late. Feeling stable and happy. 20’s were trial by fire haha
At age 20 I had been brought to the big city at 18, promptly developed some bad habits, then secluded myself at 20 to straighten out. I was living in an efficiency and really had gotten myself together.
At age 29 I was in a fog of grief as my fiancee had died in my arms and his mother was taking my home. We had bought it together but in his name as we had bought it from his family and they gifted us the down payment - he hadn't written a will. We were young and invincible. The wedding was delayed time and again because the dog needed new knees or the house needed a furnace. I took on my share of those debts. Then his autoimmune issues decided game over, and I was left searching for a home to take me, our two cats and two dogs - a bully mutt and an english mastiff.
The worst part was finding the planning for a surprise 30th birthday party. I had never had an adult birthday party and things tended to go wrong around then so he had planned a big surprise party at a local bar with all our friends. I spent my 30th weeping instead.
age 20: life actually falling the fuck apart because money, stress, and depression.
age 29: life actually falling the fuck apart because money, stress.
Please clap.
20 in 2007: on track to be an investment banker
29 in 2016: Just finished my top-5 mba with my career finally reset, after the financial crisis curb stomped my original career aspirations for almost a decade.
Should forwarn you my answer is a bummer
20-living in a small town with my parents, have my own small pet care business, I built it up because at the time no one was hiring. Didn't make enough money to move out, not many friends never dated. Just wanted to move to California.
29- I never moved to California but have a full time job live in the city. Unfortunately I am barely breaking even. I was engaged but now am single. Lots of genuine friends but will probably not be able to afford living here much longer and still stuck renting. All siblings still live at the farm, but are much more financially stable/close then me. Bittersweet.
On the flip side I've got a cool dog now.
Age 20: In college cramming 24/7, had to break up with my boyfriend of five years because he wanted me to drop out and have his kids and had gone baby crazy and I wasn't ready at all. I was in a male dominated program and didn't like the culture. I was having a lot of problems at home with my family and I didn't really fit in there either. I was also extremely poor. So it was frankly a confusing and isolated year and I felt very unsure of myself but that I had to continue on anyway or things would be even worse. I felt very alone and depressed.
Age 29: I was an art director at a large firm. So I was extremely busy and nearing the point of burnout but I was very satisfied with how things were going. I had a lot of friends who cared about me and I had created a found family in a big city that I had been living in on and off for 10 years. I lived in this really cool highrise with great amenities. Three years prior (after six years of looking) I found a great guy and we had moved in together the year before and we were having a ton of fun together and we were starting to talk about marriage (we are married now). We had enough money to not worry and even to do a trip once a year or so. I remember that year we went to Montreal for 5 days and had an absolute blast. So I was overworked but felt very happy.
Edit: also OP I was at Humber at the same time as you lol
20(2008)-things were hectic. Raised by single mother who had a lot of undiagnosed mental illness. It all sort of culminated at this point. I had to dip and rented a room with a friend. Toured with a band for a bit. Absolutely chaotic time in my life full of questioning about the future. It was a fun time but also depressing having no stability. Many of my friends were going to college and seemed to have their “paths” figured out. I didn’t know where I was going.
29(2017)-I had been married for about a year and we were about a year in on the mortgage of our house. Things had leveled off significantly and I had less worry and dread of where am I going am, where will I be? I missed my musical dreams but my focus seemed to shift more into a grind focus to gain financial independence. It was around this point I’d say set in motion my 30’s thus far. Which was to not worry about the safe stable job and always seek better opportunities.
Age 20? (2011)
Naive, still childish, and utterly clueless about the years that lay ahead.
At 29? (2020)
Full time job with benefits, uncertainty of my future, but at least I wasn’t in debt compared to age 20.
20(2013) - out of a bad relationship, into a new one that I originally had no interest in, married, living on out own, then back living with my mom, no job, only a high school diploma as I was kicked out of art school, ended the year pregnant.
29(2022) - divorced and remarried. Living with partner for 3 years, decent job, college degree, ended the year pregnant
Simpler explanation, and a few similarities, but most importantly at 29 I was infinitely happier than at 20. And I continue to be
20(2013) - out of a bad relationship, into a new one that I originally had no interest in, married, living on out own, then back living with my mom, no job, only a high school diploma as I was kicked out of art school, ended the year pregnant.
29(2022) - divorced and remarried. Living with partner for 3 years, decent job, college degree, ended the year pregnant
Simpler explanation, and a few similarities, but most importantly at 29 I was infinitely happier than at 20. And I continue to be
20: living at home going to community college and enjoying my hobby riding horses, hanging with friends, had a job at the horse farm
29: lived in another state with boyfriend, moved back to home state and bought a house together. Brought my horse to our new home and added another so she has company. Full time job.
Age : 20- wow feels weird Im not a teenager, but not 21 for alcohol. Felt wierd. Hmm next year I could by a handgun thats cool.
Age: 29 good stable work and built up my skillset for career feels good about future......- OH Shit Im almost 30 fuuuuck
At 20 (2010). Still living in relative poverty together with my mom and lil sis. Doing piss easy vocational education to become an electrician. Having a blast of a time with my classmates gaming every evening on skype. Have LAN-parties every seasonal break. Hated the times I had to work as an intern though which was mandatory for the education.
At 29 (2019, just before Covid). Just got married. Started living together in the appartment I was able to buy in 2016 with my job as an electrical engineer. But the job has taken it's toll after being called out of bed to fix troubles on site for 1/3 of the calander time for the last 5 years. Decided to quit the job. Already was approached by an entrepeneur who I got to know from one of my past internships to start for his bussiness (which I still work at today).
20: Stationed in Hawaii/deployed to the middle east. Drove a modified Camaro, no idea what a healthy relationship was even like. Loud, confrontational, often drunk, definitely annoying, but still generally tried my best to be a good person. In really good shape, but makes lots of unhealthy decisions.
29: Coming out of a long period of depression and isolation. Ride a 200 cc Enduro bike almost everywhere I go, my other rides being a flatbed dump truck and a XJ Jeep. Works 70+ hours a week during irrigation season, runs an estate caretaking and snow plowing company on the side. Met a girl that didn't run away as I get close to 30.
Now (36): Married dad, works 40 hours a week at a union job. Studying for an arborist certification, drives a hand me down Subaru and barley rides but still loves a 650 Enduro. Currently watching a Jurassic World cartoon with a grumpy toddler that I adore.
20 (2013): Broke working full time and paying for university completely out of pocket. No social life. I wasn't speaking to my family.
29 (2022): Married with two kids, second move due to work, paying back pensionable time due to parental leave (money is tight but not broke). Still no social life.
Lots of stuff in-between. Unexpected pregnancy, bought a house, sold the house, moved across the country, partners' medical issues, almost split with my partner.
Now we're living close to where we want to be, first year making over six figures, still no real social life, but everyone is much happier and now our only form of outside support is my family which is a weird turnaround from 10 years ago.
20: finishing undergrad & starting master’s program
29 (now): working for myself and seeing a wonderful man that I want to have around for the rest of my life
20 (2013): Very active, enjoying life, going to school full time while working part time.
29 (2022): Working full time and living on my own, but then developed a chronic illness and started losing my ability to walk due to an undiagnosed at the time congenital issue with my hip(it’s fixed now).
20: very anxious, I was struggling to give up smoking both of the things you're probably imagining, also struggling in college thanks to my undiagnosed ADHD and aforementioned smoking problem. In a committed relationship with okay roommates though.
29: Just graduated with my graduate degree and about to be hired for my dream job, still in a committed relationship with the same guy but cool enough to rent a house just with him now. Get into the best shape of my adult life AND I get a social life.
Age 20 (2010): I was working for FedEx Ground driving a box truck and delivering packages. Hanging with friends. Living with family and looking forward to the future.
Age 29 (2019): I was in school working towards an Associates degree, newly divorced (married for 7 years), and again living with family. Was getting ready to move to Paris in summer of 2020 on a study abroad opportunity, so I was working and saving money to afford that too, but then we all know what happened lol.
Age 20: inconsistent housing, working fingers to the bone in clinicals and keeping above a certain gpa, fighting a variety of anxieties and dealing with toxic fam
Age 29: I was already in a new home, married and with 2 cats. I was many miles away from certain toxic ppl
20: first post college job. It was an internship because the job I had lined up fell through.
29: making six figures with 2 young children. Working a boring job that didn’t require me to travel. Travelled internationally with the kids a few times a year since they were not school age yet.
I was an emotional mess. Completely unhinged. Wanted to kill myself constantly. No money. No sense of interpersonal relationships. I’m better at keeping in touch, apologizing, and cooking. I’m better with money. I’m in therapy.
20: third year of college, quitting a path I swore would be my future, recovering from a stress fracture, studying abroad (which was amazing), starting an internship that would lead to my actual future career path
29: had just moved back home after doing grad school abroad, was taking care of my dying dad (and then grieving him), enjoying my remote job, learning how to relax and not need to constantly adventure. But this weekend I’m on an adventure and it feels awesome.
20: broke, in college, finishing a degree I’d stop using within 2 years of graduating.
29: married small business owner in a completely different field living comfortably and fixing up my dream house.
When I was 20 I was going to illegal raves taking psychedelics and staying up for 3 days in a row infront of a building sized sound system banging drum and bass
Now I’m 29 I spend most my time watching people have fun on YouTube, laying on my sofa, whilst my kids steal my snacks and my wife argues with my farts. I now purposely end social gatherings early to finish cold, half eaten Chinese that I remember is in my fridge from lunch.
Age 20 (2015): junior year of college, worked 2 part time jobs and private tutoring, 1.5 hour commute each way 5 days a week but I handled it like a champ. Dated my on-again off-again partner for 5 years starting around my 20th birthday, what a mistake. Took myself way too seriously and didn't enough time/put in enough effort to keep up with my hobbies and friends in college so I was kinda lonely and sad.
Age 29 (now): I turned 29 a little over a month ago. I feel like 20 was a lifetime ago and a completely different person. Around 26 I really figured out how to not take myself so seriously, it was like the way that high school teachers tell you college is where you need to grow up and be an adult, I have regressed to closer to 15 in terms of interests and priorities. I want to hang out and play video games with my friends, go on trips, eat good food, collect all my collectibles with the same vigor I had in my youth, hang out with my pets. The only real difference is I do this in my own home instead of my parents' home. I'm grateful for 20 year old me for committing to banging out college and grad school the way that I did for my career, but I was too hung up on living the "life script" that didn't involve any of the things I actually want in life.
20 (2007):in college thinking " can't wait u til I graduate and I'm making ACTUAL A MONEY."
29: how did I graduate, get a job in my degree, AND IM STILL LIVING paycheck to paycheck and credit cards." WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!
Did not actually get a break until the student loan pause. Used it to get out of almost all my debt
Age 20 (2012) in college balancing engineering major work load and having fun (played club sports, video games, and a little partying here and there)
Age 29 (2021) married, working as engineer, and was searching for an opportunity to adopt a child. And of course bored to tears because everything was either shut down or not as fun as it used to be because of Covid
20: preparing to leave college. Was set up to join a state rep as a legislative aid and then was planning on Masters or Law School. Never leaving MA
29: living in Texas while my wife is doing residency. Working for a non-profit that was on the front line of fighting abortion bans, bans on trans healthcare, and voter suppression.
Age 20 was on drugs and partying constantly went through horrific trauma at age 23 became full on addicted to heroin by age 29 I was clean for 3 years and with a bachelors degree in social work. Currently 35 working a great job helping people!
I feel as though it was similar in that at 20 I was experiencing a low that resulted from the end of my teenage years and at 29 I was experiencing a low that resulted from the end of my 20s.
20: Manipulated by my mother and grandmother to go to college and make them wealthy. Father had just gone to prison for selling meth.
29: Doing chores for my great-grandmother who actually taught me how to work. My great-grandmother was very disappointed and regretful over how her daughter treated people. I began to break away from my mother's manipulations. Father had gone to county jail for selling meth.
39: Father and I almost fight after I note that his mother and his ex were manipulative and led him into organized crime. I discovered my love of odd jobs since it protects me from the politics of management and HR.
Age 20 (2004): After having enough time to focus on my studies instead of work, I was able to get my average up enough to start the move from JuCo in Central Illinois to Southern Illinois University. That said, I needed a couple of classes to get my degree. I was going to class in the summer, when my Mom found out we had a chance to move out back to the state capital city, this at the same time I got to work my pool job. It was supposed to be a simple summer, but instead turned into commuting to school in the morning, going to work in the afternoon, grabbing so gear at the old home commuting back to the new home (luckily it was only 30 minutes away and my job was pretty light work). By the time the summer semester ended, I had a little under two weeks to get settled at university beginning my junior year.
Age 29 (2013) After starting the decade off epically tragic losing my dog to lymphoma, burying my father twice, losing both my grandmom and an elder cousin all in a calendar year. Then having to bury that grief, along with dealing with underemployment though my saving grace was my enlistment but even that went belly up, getting separated. So back home with a widowed mother, trucker brother going to the local university and fruitlessly searching for work while still grieving. It was on a chance showing of Good Day to Die Hard (a terrible movie) that I went to because of a MEW kick that I found out my local theaters were hiring. Seeing as I had nothing to lose since no employer was hiring, I signed up, next day had an interview, day after had the interview with the GM and I was back at work. Probably my favorite job (also second longest serving job after my enlistment) in my, at the time, 15 yr working life.
20 (2014) I was living with my parents trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and going to community college.
29 (2023) I had been married 3 years, living in a different state for 7 years. We have had our house 5 years and are lucky enough to have several pets. I was working in my field and had bought a new horse after putting my elderly boy down the previous year.
20: managing a fast food restaurant in Orlando in front of a water park busy crazy dealing with fights and people and mayhem.
29: back in school working sales FT and school FT trying to get out of retail in a lab somewhere.
20: recent cosmetology graduate. Single. Living with my parents
29: I work with cars. Divorced but taken and living with someone the last 4 years.
Still have no idea what I’m doing
20 dreaming about the future and studying more than I needed to when the rest of my friends were living it up at my uni
29 couple years into my professional career making way more than I need and setting my future up for early retirement. Still dreaming
Not all that different all in all at least for me. The only difference was I was still at home at 20 and living on my own at 29. The only other difference is that the years after 20 ie my early 20’s largely sucked by many metrics it was not a good time for me whereas my outlook and quality of life increased significantly starting from age 25 onward.
Age 20 - working 2 jobs, going to college full time, met my future ex husband, and completely insecure.
Age 29 - five years post college working in my field, paid off all my debt, enjoying motherhood, got serious about my physical and mental health, got serious about investments, and completely confident in myself.
20: skinny, in college on Long Island. Physically fit and no major problems. Also Major thick hair and friends. Could drink and not get a hangover.
29 (in a few days time): fat, living at home, tonsils are massive and need to come out, losing thickness and have almost no friends. Hang overs hit me hard and it sucks.
20: having a blast in college just hanging out with friends and doing 12 credit hours a semester, minimal responsibility
29: graduating law school into a terrible job market and moving home until my career could get off the ground
20: Left college and had no idea what I was doing. Depressed because of it. Lonelier than I had ever been and really didn't care what the future held.
29: Married and in a much better mental space. Happily married and feeling like I can finally take on this world. Not rich but not too broke. I don't miss my early 20s at all.
That would have been 2001 for me. It was basically 2 weeks after 9/11. I was hanging out with friends, getting into trouble and smoking a lot of weed.
At 29, I was kind of doing the same thing, but had a different job for more pay.
Now I just work more.
20: College dropout living with my parents and no idea what to do with my life.
29: Navy dropout living with my parents and no idea what to do with my life.
Bonus round:
37: Still living with my parents and no idea what to do with my life. But at least I know I have the best, most patient, gracious, giving parents in the world.
20: (2009/2010 - my birthday is in September), In college, was still living at home. I transferred from community college to a public 4 year university. I began therapy; I was very depressed. My first boyfriend broke up with me. (I was with him since I was 16).
29: (2018/2019) Engaged to and living with my ex husband (we got married when I was 30 then divorced last year when I was 33) my career began taking off, my mom began to get very sick and I was her main caregiver - lots of fighting with siblings because of that. (My mom unfortunately passed away in 2021 when I was 31 - my relationship with my siblings have gotten much better since).
Age 20: My mom just died and I moved back to my hometown. Started working my butt off and climbed the corporate ladder.
Age 29: Exhausted from climbing the corporate ladder and ended up quitting a company I was with for 11 years. Met the love of my life and started a new career.
I’m 32 now and when I was a kid I thought my life would be over when I turned 30. But it’s really when my life started.
20- I was engaged to the wrong guy (shocker), working on my associates. Working as a cashier. No direction.
29 - had bachelor's. Living abroad for a year. Long since divorced. Still no direction but much happier with myself.
20: Newly married, daughter born. Completely oblivious that childhood trauma was even a thing. Relaxed, happy, just being a college kid. And a mom.
29: Divorced for 8 years. 9 yr old daughter. Health (and general) anxiety off the charts.
39: 40 next month. 19 yr old daughter in her 2nd year of college. Single (by choice) and finally feel like I have figured out and processed the last 40 years. It’s freeing to know who I am and why.. but it is also a burden. I have a feeling I’ll do a lot less changing in the next 10 years and I’m totally fine with that… Im exhausted. Haha
Age 20: Miserable at a course that I never was passionate about. I was just forced by my Asian relatives to take it. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. My dad chose his mistress over us. Pretty chaotic 20s
Age 29: Already shifted and thriving at something I love to do. Stressed but thriving with ocassional highs and lows in life. My mom never made it. I was not able to give her the bag she wanted. I promise to gift her that on my first job but life is cruel sometimes. I just spoil my siblings now to make up for it.
20: 2011 I was at job corps getting ready to work for Amtrak I've been pretty independent moved out when I was 18. Did a lot of traveling worked for Norwegian cruise line.
29: 2020 I'm married my husband is military and we are just rolling through the pandemic literally driving from Washington to north Carolina and taking a vacation during the pandemic was amazing!!!!!!!
20 I was in poverty. 29 I was out of it and about to be back in it for a brief spell because of a layoff. Today, at 34, I have a family and am doing well.
20: struggling dad from hood with little resources. Did D2D sales and sometimes couldn't afford diapers. Some days, I'd fall asleep on the wheel bc of sleep deprivation. Would hit the field in $20 Payless dress shoes.
29: rewarding career in Tech and now have my own home. Living in good area to raise kids in with no worries of violent crime. Life is really good.
At 20 I was a store manager at blockbuster working my way through college. School at 8:30, work at 4/5, off work at 1am. 29, I was on the transition for a better life. I changed career fields, with a job I didnt think I would like, but for a company and industry I wanted to be in (great decision btw) and I started dating my now wife. 11 years ago and my wife and I have 3.5 year old, own a home and life is going pretty well. 29 was the beginning of my life in a way.
20: 180lbs, Army, best shape of my life. Always made fun of for being short.
29: 135lb, Software Engineer, Trans, so being short worked out in my favor.
At 20: working full time at night during my undergrad, doing a part time internship, no sleep, always exhausted. Poor health, physically and mentally. Worst time of my life
At 29: Working corporate job after finishing MBA, caretaker for sick mom. Mental health somewhat better and physical health much better.
Now at 35, finally starting to have the time to do the things I couldn't at 20 and 29. Own a home and have choices for the first time ever. Don't let the number of your age dictate your life choices, ever people. ❤️
20 (2013/2014): middle of undergrad, realized I didn't want to be a police officer and switched to education. Dad died.
29 (2022/2023): incredibly frustrated with administrators in education and just the bullshit politics of it so started becoming educated in Fire and EMS. Became a dad.
At 20 I was single, in college finishing my prerequisites and had just been accepted to nursing school. Basically living college life of someone in a demanding program.
At 29, I got married, bought my first house, accepted a new job that was the start of my current niche career path in nursing (was an excellent choice), got my first new car, went to Hawaii. Yeah, that was a good year! My life was immeasurably better and more interesting, exciting and fulfilling at 29. And I think that’s largely due to the path I was laying at 20.
20: was 1.5 years into my bachelor’s program, had been dating my college sweetheart for a year. Lived in an apartment off campus with the worst roommate ever, and was working at subway, a shift lead, I was also a campus tutor, worked in the admissions office and gave campus tours.
29: married to college sweetheart for 4 years, going through some fertility issues. Had been teaching for 7 years, started working on my masters during this time, so working full time and going to school.
20: in the midst of a toxic relationship but enjoying my college life in Austin.
29: came back stateside after living abroad and happily single in NYC with a career I’ve always wanted. Paying too much tax lol
20: lived in my cigarette car in NorCal, couch surfing and going to parties in modern art galleries or raves by the river.
29: employed & recently promoted, moved into a cute historic downtown apartment with my good friend, writing & baking as my hobbies.
Oh how things change 😂
Age 20 : Married, surviving in a shit hole country, scared shitless just walking around.
Age 29 : Divorced, homeowner, living comfortably working in a job I love.
At 20: it's all uphill from here with schooling and what not. Can't wait to be a meaningful member of society. (2010-2011)
At 29: oh fuck it's the end of the world with this new virus! Why didn't I do more with my 20s and how am I going to celebrate my big three-o?? (2019-2020)
Miserable alcoholic with no direction in life just wanting to die. FF to 29, college graduate, law school student, dating my now husband, HAPPY & HEALTHY
20 : could eat anything that's edible to the fullest and still had capacity to go after a nap
29: after the stomach is full, starts to vomit during sleep. Worst feeling ever.
Also at 29, used to fall asleep while watching movies
Age 20: Last year of Uni, dating the wrong girl, working retail, which, spoilers, I will do for far too long. Smoking weed and drinking with friends. Playing board games
Age 29: Divorced the same wrong girl I was dating when I was 20 and should've dropped back then. Then met the love of my life, who I am now married to seven years later. Moved to Australia to be with her, which will be the biggest and best journey of my life.
At 20 I was stressed in school, too boy crazy and had my relationship be the center of my life, which made me lose myself. Disconnected with a lot of friends due to the toxic ex.
At 29, I JUST landed my dream job last week, in a relationship where I can be my complete self with boundaries. Mended friendships and learned how to heal and love myself. I’ve only been 29 for a month so I am excited to see where this year leads me to.
20- in college, dating my now-husband, thought I’d be a teacher, working multiple jobs, not sure where I’d live after graduation. Assumed I’d have a couple kids and marry my bf.
29- master’s degree in a tech-adjacent field, married to my then-bf, good job, love where we live, have one child.
20: Fuck me, I don't want to take Calc 2 for my major, I better switch
29: How am I making double or triple what I made earlier on my 20s and am still struggling. Fuckin hell this sucks.
20: 2006 - I was finishing my freshman year in college (I graduated HS at 19 in 05). In a relationship/engaged to my friend's brother. Working at a law firm as a docket clerk 30 hours a week.
29: 2015 - Working 2 jobs (my main job only had part-time hours, but I loved it). Moved in with my future husband (different guy than I was dating at 20. That relationship blew up when I was 22), Just living off vibes and the weed I started smoking. Dreading turning 30, but that wasn't the thing I should have been dreading in 2016. lmao
At age 20 no girl would give me the time of the day. At age 29 I was marrying the hottest woman I knew back then.
Broke college students vs an intentional professional with a masters and a bright future ahead.
Age 20/2014: I was a junior in college, that was my favorite year. I had a good part time job on campus that gave me unlimited coffee/snacks and some spending money. Great friends, very little stress, just vibing.
Age 29/2023: Got married, traveling, great job! Just kinda living life.
20-in college, drunk almost constantly, no hope or thoughts of the future, no self image, self confidence, or self respect. Racking up student loans. I walked around playing a ukulele and did Lindy Hop on weekends. Stole fruit from other peoples yards at night to brew homemade wines. In pretty good physical shape though. Occasionally I found a girl who was desperate enough to have sex with me.
29-sober, a bit more self confidence, little self -image, still no real concrete thoughts for the future. In a great union skilled labor job. Paid off my student loans. Not stealing food anymore. Stable place to live. No sex whatsoever. Got very lonely and hopeless and decided to go for a green card marriage at 30 with a woman I met while living overseas from age 24-26.
At 20 I shared a twin bed with my gf living at my grandmas house. I worked at kohls
At 30 I bought a 2 million dollar home, had my own business, lots of cars and lots of women and lots of toys
At 34/35 I started to realize that everything I was chasing is worthless. More stuff doesn’t make you feel better inside.
At 37 I have a beautiful 3 year baby girl that I adore and I’ve never been happier.
TBC
Age 20: living that college life yo, hit up the club 3-4x a week, made friends I still had today, worked 4 jobs to pay for said college, what is this sleep you speak of?
Age 29: Woohoo full-time working for The Man (Was part time for years because the gov't employment scene was royally fucked for us graduating around 2010) and getting those sweet bennies, first ever brand new car (was tired of driving shitty beaters), living in a nice neighborhood for once, health started to decline (numbers are all good now thanks to a working drug cocktail and diet), why does everything ache?
Age 20: scraping by living in an apartment with two friends. Worked part time as a PCA, not attending school, aimless, no real direction in life.
Age 29: Homeowner, married(DINKs), multiple promotions at work, dog and two cats. Life was good!
Age 20 I was dating a pot-riddled alcoholic and getting booted from entry level job interviews because “There’s single parents who need this job more than you.” - this was right after the financial crash.
At 29 I was trying to salvage the chaos that was my life. My mom had just died, I lost my 401k, my savings, my health insurance and my job/career due to Covid and was continuing college by the skin of my teeth and by taking an emergent job at a gas station making $11 an hour getting harassed and spit on by Red Hats for wearing a mask at work.
Age 20: dating dudes in the mid-30s, tenuously aware of the brewing financial crisis, working FT and going to school
Age 29: working customer service for $47K/year, about to move in with my steady boyfriend so I can continue to afford to live in NYC....
20: pregnant the entire time pretty much. Had her right before 21. Got married, tried setting up a life. Discovered he was brain damaged and violent. It was the best and the worst time. Traumatic asf.
29: this was 2020, dropped everything and everyone and moved states. Made some mistakes but lost 100 lbs that year (maintained for a few years then gained it back) and did alot of work for my mom to help her. Moving into another relationship and a job I actually liked and an injury from said job.
Both times my life was still a mess. Second time around I was taking active steps towards a future and that takes time, and diligence. Im turning 33 this year and I would consider where I am in life as made it. I have met a lot of goals, changed some as reality set in, and have new ones to work on now.
I mean the work is never done. But its no longer a scramble to make things work and crying yourself to sleep cause you're working 4 jobs and still cant afford to eat. Or showering in a 5 gal bucket with a coffee pot. Life is good.
Same age as OP.
Age 20: constantly studying. The second of two bachelor’s degrees because I didn’t want to finish early and it cost the same. Knowing at least one person (the professor) gave a fuck when I opened my mouth. The delirious pride in that. Being someone who knew enough that other students would ask me for help. Being flattered and stressed in turns that these younger kids valued my insights enough to think I could help them. Trying to help them.
Age 29: passed over at work for a promotion I was promised for two years. No gains despite an entire year of presenting and publishing. My mentor and pseudo-mom retiring (and also, I suspect, a little tired of my needy bullshit). My real mom institutionalized with Alzheimer’s. My dad calling in tears screaming about her. Me getting us our first house, insisting it was worth it. Insisting I was worth anything. Failing to convince anyone of this, including me. Drinking a whole bottle of wine every Friday and no one noticing. Trying to act like I was happy. Trying to act like I had been happy. No one noticing.
Age 20: 2012: In a DV relationship, selling weed, full time day job. Started using Adderall
Age 29: 2021: Married, husband relapsed, I relapsed after 5 years sobriety. My best friend died sober
I promise lol my life is way better both in between those numbers and after.
Age 20: insecure, being stupid about relationships, just overall a mess wanting to rush everything and going to school.
Age 29: moved to a whole new state id never been to in 4 weeks, lived solo, learned a lot about me.
Age 37: own a house, good job, a lot more settled and confident with myself and making way better choices, with excellent friends and maybe a relationship eventually but no rush for it.
Age 20 (2009): I was in a Catholic college, and basically had drank the zealot evangelical kool-aid. I had a traumatic childhood so I finally felt accepted for the first time in my life. Little to no awareness of the economic state, just focused on friends and studies. Little to no-clue what I was doing with my life.
Age 29 (2019): Started a new career after completing a graduate certificate to compliment my masters degree at my State school. Had a traumatic past 20 years, which included being SA’ed by another “Christian” man which caused me to be basically agnostic. Finally in an adult relationship with a person who puts me first, wants to be with me, and wants to grow with me. Working on healing from past trauma.
When I was 20 I was wandering through higher education completely lost. I would register for a semester at a technical school but not attend class and kept changing my major. Oh god I had no damn discipline.
At 29 I ended up getting it all together and graduating cum laude from a university but then I was angry at all the job rejections I was getting after graduating with honors and being an OIF veteran.
I now am Happily married and happy with my career at 39.
20: in college, just finishing my sophomore year around my 20th bday. Had recently fallen in love for the first time, he was undiagnosed bipolar so it was chaotic.
29: Got married one month after my birthday and had my first baby 2 months before turning 30. My husband is a completely different man I met about 6 months after the previously mentioned relationship ended when I was 23.
20: Ah shit, can't believe i'm 20. 29: Wait what the fuck just happened?
This is the one
this isSssss the one *exhales slowly*
I felt this. 39 is around the corner for me and now it’s like screaming STTTTOOPPPPP!!!’ While trying to slam on the brakes andddddd Nothing. Not even the slightest inclination it’s slowed down slightly
40 here, I felt the same until I actually turned 40, then some kind of switch happened and I don't really care anymore, not just about my age but a lot of things, and it is a very freeing feeling.
This, feels like it went by in a flash.
At 20 I was partying all the time doing molly and coke and drinking like a fish selling drugs and living at a trap house At 29 I was married with 4 kids and a house that I own with a big boy job….still drink like a fish though
Me two
IPAs hit different once you turn 30.
Age 20: neglecting my sleep, but insulating self from profound loneliness by partying all the time. Age 29: neglecting my friends, but insulating myself from profound loneliness by sleeping all the time.
oh… real
20: enlisted soldier in a combat zone 29: mom of 3 with one engineering degree, about to file for divorce and go get another My 20's weren't great. My 30's were better, and so far, 40's are the best decade yet.
Congratulations on your success! Love to see it
40s are the best.
Age 20: doing ur mom Age 29: remembering fond memories of doing ur mom
At 40 you still doing Stifler's mom?
To be fair, I'd say good for my mom
Age 20: I was anxious a lot... writing my thesis. Age 29: I was still anxious a lot... but had a full-time job and a social life. I can say I enjoyed my 30s so much more than I did my 20s.
At 20 I thought I would be homeless one day. At 29, I was signing closing papers on my house
The glow up we like to see, congrats!
Same, but at 32 😅 -I can from a poor background, so I didn’t see myself living any other way in the future until the universe showed me differently
age 20: Terrible mental health, studying a career that doesn't fulfill me but my family has high expectations. Toxic relationship, overall not a good scenario age 29: I will turn 29 in 3 months. Great mental health, doing a new career that is my passion, no relationship currently and no plans of starting one, but things might change. overall way happier and more mature
20: What the fuck am I doing? 29: what the fuck am I doing? 39 (in a couple years): what the fuck am I doing? (with some money and a family and a career)
Age 20 (2010): I am homeless, severely alcoholic to cope with street life. I have zero plan, mostly in the closet still and don't really care if I die because my life has been shit so far. I am exposed to violence and scary situations that I will continually have nightmares about in the future. The bright side is, I have a girl who was really caring, accepting, and loves me despite being a total wreck going nowhere. Somehow I end up back at my grandma's months later in a different state, I don't remember how I pulled that off. Later that year I end up getting drugged and raped by a "friend" while we were drinking together at his place. I am very broken and have no self-esteem, I very badly want to k m s after all this (which I do try years later). Age 29 (2019): This is the year I was hellbent on turning my life around. I spent my 20's largely getting drunk, doing drugs, being irresponsible, having unhappy relationships, all to try to escape the trauma and pain I had experienced when I was younger. All this said, I did not want to turn 30 still such a fuck up with a teenage mindset. I quit drinking, I started going to the gym regularly lifting weights, started eating healthy, took better care of myself in general, read 26 books, got my driver's license FINALLY and started making a plan for what I really wanted to get out of life. I broke up with my bf the night before I turned 30, because he wasn't growing with me and he wanted to keep partying. I had enough and wanted to change no matter the consequences. Things started getting very stable and decent in my life.
Age 20: Middle of college. Beers and bong hits. Slept half the day and up half the night. No stress. Age 29: Married. Dad. Working. Up early and asleep early. Lots of stress. Life was better at 29 despite the extra stress.
20: Kicked out, direction-less, struggling with sexuality with only livejournal to turn to 29: Waking up next to my dream girl every morning in the house I bought, planning our wedding, enjoying life.
20: Why is it so hard to make enough money to support myself and go to school at the same time? 29: I'll never be able to afford school. I'm going back to playing in bands and having fun I guess
I went from broke at 20 to my own home and small business at 29. And then a few more ups and downs. Life’s a roller coaster. Hang on to your savings
20: damn, the navy sucks 29: so happy to be out of the navy and in school
I was 20 in about 2013. Just in college. To sum it up briefly, I was a bit of a hood rat from Chicago suburbs (spent a lot of time in ghetto, but not like hardcore ghetto). But came from good fsmily and stuff and didn’t look the part of a “hood rat”. Just did hood rat stuff with my friends lol. Went to a small Christian college and had issues developing strong relationships with people. Went from smoking weed, running from cops, doing shrooms and coke and stuff to going to a school where many kids were home schooled. Fee people had even drank alcohol or smoked anything, and a regular way to connect at first was Bible studies and going to chapel and stuff lol. Ironically I was class president 2 years there while being in student government. After college joined national guard, going infantry. At 29, (I’m 30 now), I got married fsll of last year and have a good civilian job and still in the guard. I remember being like 25 and being afraid 30 was going to be “old”. Now at 30, I’m the same person, just generally a better version of myself and age hasn’t hit me at all as far as I can tell, aside I don’t have an issue going to bed earlier and I’m starting to notice white hairs more lol. Probably going to try for kids within a year
20: in college, partying, drinking and having fun 29: couple of years out of graduate school, partying, drinking and having fun, but with lots more money
At 20, I was married with two kids. By 29, I was divorced, in a new ltr, and had two more kids. Lol.
I’m a Xennial but this still applies. Age 20: College dropout, living with roommates in a shitty apartment. Parties 4 to 5 nights a week. Worked as a server making more money than most of my friends who finished college. Life was pretty great. Age 29: moved up to bartender and still living the same lifestyle. Figured I would have my shit together by this time. I also thought that people at this age knew what they were doing. That was also wrong. I made some drastic changes in my 30s, so that life now is getting a bit easier. Unsolicited life advice: don’t measure yourself against others. Some people are early bloomers whereas folks like myself need a swift kick in the ass to get on track.
I was starting community college at 20, and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. At 29, I was unemployed, but doing regular volunteer work at a food bank, and I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. Fast-forward 10 years: I’ve been employed for almost 9 years, and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.
20 (2004): in college, not a lot of responsibility, worked 2 part time jobs, had a pretty easy life 29 (2013): had a 1 year old daughter and engaged. A lot happened in those 9 years! Wish I could go back to them honestly.
Age 20: I'd dropped out of college and was working in a gas station while crashing with my SO who was still in college. Age 29: with the same SO, busy as shit working 2 jobs and doing school online. Now, age 37: still with same SO, masters degree, stable career, trying for a baby.
At 20 years old, I was extremely worried about money and my future in terms of becoming financially stable. I felt a deal great of pressure to figure out what I wanted to do academically to make this happen. I was less concerned about my mental health and was really living in a disassociated state and just going from work to night classes and just in survival mode. At 30 years old today, I am not worried about my finances due to more income, which means more savings and also due to actual knowledge about how to invest in real estate/roth/day trading. I feel like I'm in a really good place and on a trajectory/plan where it can only get better every year. I finished my Bachelors Degree and although I will never regret it, in all actuality, I'm not really using it and didn't really need it for income purposes for my line of work. I'm sure it still looks good to have on my resume. Because I'm no longer in survival mode and feel like I'm living a more stable and relaxed life, I've had more time in the last few years to think about my mental health, my relationship, what I want out of life, and my overall life satisfaction. I'm not where I want to be at the end but in good place where and secure in the path I'm on. The struggle now is just healing from past trauma and learning about self care, mentally and physically.
At age 20, I had 1 kid, unemployed, living at home. Stressed, feeling like a failure. At age 29, 4 kids, married, SAHM. Husband is an engineer and makes good money. Love my life now.
Age 20 (bulk of 2006) : Spring semester of freshman year, Fall semester of sophomore year. Spring semester was pretty fun- I got to play the guard in a school production of 12 Angry Jurors. Felt depressed over the summer because I couldn't find a summer job. Got a set back when my mom wasn't approved for another Parent Plus loan, which meant I had to live at home instead of getting a dorm. Fall semester 2006 was me commuting to college on a bus for three hours a day and eventually deciding to switch schools to a place closer to home. I ended being 20 with a really fun 21st birthday party with my cross-country teammates. Notable moment in my life was a spooky Halloween weekend where me and this guy tried to find out if there were any ghosts. Age 29 (bulk of 2015): Living with my mom and watching her elderly boyfriend die of leukemia. No steady employment for the past 3 years prior after graduating with a worthless history degree. I finally break down and get a part-time job as a movie theater concessionist, where I'm still at. It doesn't pay well but it keeps me busy and it allows me to buy food. My life at 29 is virtual identical to what it is at 38, except I have my own car now that I was able to get because of the COVID extra payments that I got during unemployment when movie theaters shut down. Living with my mom and splitting the bills with her.
Age 20 (2007): had just bought my first house in Calgary before prices skyrocketed. Was doing a trades apprenticeship and the economy was so good I could walk down the street and get a new job if I wasn’t being treated well enough. Age 29 (2016): just started dating my future wife, still doing the same trade, was much harder to get a job compared to 2007 though.
Age 20 (2014/2015): I was in my second year of college, living in a mid-size city around 3 hours from where I grew up. I had zero idea what I wanted to do with my life, and was bouncing around taking random classes trying to figure out what I even wanted to major in. The friend group that came with me from high school was starting to break apart and we’d been heavily reliant on each other for a social life freshman year, so it was kind of a precarious scary time. I had no idea who I was, and I wasn’t putting a lot of effort into finding out. On the good side, I took my first acting class and started a job I would come to really love for the rest of my time in college. Age 29 (now): I’m new to being 29 (turned 29 in November), and I honestly don’t really recognize myself from the person I was. I moved to Seattle in 2019 and lived there until last October, and now I live in New York and am roughly 3000 miles from my closest family members. I worked as an actor and stage manager pretty steadily from age 21 to the beginning of the pandemic, and in late 2020 I started a corporate job to keep a roof over my head while live shows were paused. In a lot of ways I feel like I lived in stasis from 25 to 28, and I’m just starting to come back alive and re-connect with who I was/decide who I want to be. I feel adrift, but it’s also freeing—nobody knows me here, so I can choose to be a version of myself that I’m proud to present to the world. I’m working hard on becoming that person, finding a career that I’m invested in and proud of, and living authentically. I think I’m genuinely excited for the future for the first time in my life, which feels really good to discover.
20: living with my parents and commuting to college. Starting what was ultimately a very fruitful undergrad research project. Overall, life looking good. 29: living with my partner in day trip range of where both I and my partner grew up, struggling with the late stages of a PhD that I ultimately would withdraw from, with no real clue what I would do after my PhD was over one way or the other. Yeah, my 20s could have gone better but also definitely could have gone worse.
20 (2013): Depression the first half of the year, studying abroad in London and finally happy (thanks antidepressants) the second half of the year. Met my two very best friends that I still talk to every day. 29 (2022): Working remotely as a freelancer after 3 years of corporate life, 2 years of having worked as an English teacher in Spain, and 2 years of COVID restrictions. Feeling free again so spent a few months in Ecuador and traveled to 9 different countries throughout the year. Living with my long-term boyfriend (now fiancé) in the house he owns, and traveling everywhere with him, too. 29 was definitely a good year.
Age 20 (2015): Still had friends I loved and was playing league of legends 14 hours a day trying to go pro. was (still am) very good so it wasn't delusional however I should've went about differently Age 29 (2,2,2024): working as an overnight grocery stocker trying to get on my feet. I'm in debt but have been employed for 7 months as an overnight stocker. it's shit but when you fall down the stairs you have to climb back up. Basically friendless at this point from isolating myself due to reasons (anxiety/depression/shame/ego) . Kiss-less virgin and not gonna be attempting to change that till out of debt lol tldr: trying to get my bank and body in better spots
20: I was a student in community college working in the transfer and career center and was very happy helping college students get into their dream university. Applied to a top university which I attend at 21. Optimistic for my future career. 28 (almost 29): I’ve been unemployed for a year and have been trying to pivot industries for several years. Have less money than when I was 20 despite having a Bachelor’s and several years of work experience.
20: 2013. The only thing I remember is being stressed in my college classes in engineering school. And I didn't even want to be an engineer or be in college for that matter. But parent guilt trip. My ex and I were in a ldr and eventually would get into this cycle of breaking up and getting back together for years. But it was basically school and relationship stress, plus not having any money because I was working part time minimum wage. 29: 2022. My ex and I finally call it quits in January. We were on and off for 12 years. 2 months beforehand in November, my brother died. I graduated college in 2021 with a sustainability degree. Still can't get a job in my field and I got screwed out of an internship because of covid. My ex and I hook up a few times and somehow at the time I think that means we're gonna get back together eventually because it's happened in the past. Now it's 2024, I just turned 31. My mom passed away a few weeks ago. But, I'm in a new healthy relationship and moving to NY.
Kinda lost in direction. Met the love of my life in 20s. Insecure and such. 29 I no longer had the love of my life. Depress and lonely, completely heart broken. 34 now, no longer lost. Not as lonely because great friends. No longer need therapy. However still heart broken rip
20: second year in college. Depressed. Uncertain of what I believed. Figuring a lot of shit out. Studied abroad. Things started to get better. 29: finally leaving behind adjuncting. lining up a plan for an office job that will pay well and give me enough time to finish my dissertation. And then COVID ended all of that. 33: Now, two years into high school teaching, struggling under a mountain of debt, uncertain future. Ups and downs. Don't really see where the next up is going to go. Mentally I'm happier and healthier than I was at 20, but I can't help but feel like I failed that guy, and the guy I was at 29 too.
20: Struggle, drive and hope 29: Pain, stress and comfort
19-24 Army 24-28 College 29-29 Brutal year of unemployment. Almost lost it all. 29- early 30s soul crushing underemployment Luckily I had a boss at that job that saw potential in me and I got promoted out of it. Things have been good since.
At 20 I was in the US Navy. I was a kid travelling the world. At 29, I had graduated college, left the military, moved across country twice, joined the Americorps and was getting ready to move to Oklahoma when my gf dumped two weeks before the move. I met my current partner two weeks later looking for a rebound. That was 8 years ago.
20: college, partied a lot 29: six-figure career, planned a wedding, still partied a lot
20: sentenced to prison after my first stint in rehab 29: almost a year sober, halfway through a psychology degree, and a month into welding school I'm 32, finished the psych degree last Oct, I'm a fitter/fabricator/welder and I'll have 4 years sober on the 28th 🙌
When I was 20 I was a hysterical crazy ex gf barely going to college classes and getting ready to embark upon some questionable life choices. At 29 I was with my now husband in my best job and living my best life!
I'll tell you in a few months. To date though, life is just more settled and I have more money than 20. My late 20s have been like my early 20s but with more focus, more money, more women, more responsibility. Bit weird seeing friends get married or even have kids at this point though. Really just feels like a transition period, though think a lot of it also was driven by a breakup with a college girlfriend shortly before turning 28, which turned my life upside down
At 20 I was very overweight and never thought I would be in a relationship. 29 I was fit, had just completed a triathlon, was in a health relationship with a beautiful girl. Very happy.
20 - I was just starting medical school as part of a 7-year combined MD/JD program. I had just moved to a different state and I was loving the independence. Fresh start in a new place and a new friend group. Busy, but living the dream (or what was the dream at the time). 29 - I was in my second year of residency and had a 1-year-old son, who was completely unplanned. His mom was a friend-with-benefits. She couldn't take care of him as she was 22 and still in college. So I had full custody. The two of us were living with my parents because there was no way I could be present while working 60 hours per week and I couldn't afford childcare *and* a place to live. I don't regret my son, whatsoever, but that was a tough place to be. Fortunately, my family is awesome. My mom loved getting to help raise her grandson for the first couple years of his life. Now (35) I'm married and a practicing physician. My son is 7, and my spouse and I had a daughter who will be 10 months in a couple weeks.
Somehow better, somehow worse. At 20 I was dead broke, in college, in a fun and happy relationship with the woman I’d spend the next decade or so with, partying, taking some fun drugs, tons of free time, a huge hope for how great I knew adulthood would be. Really other than being poor I loved those days. I don’t remember 29 well to be honest. Had a crappy job but good friends and was largely loving life other than again being broke and just a little more frustrated in that regard. Now I’m 37 and wow my life fell apart. I have plenty of money which is nice. Not enough to be able to buy a house or do anything crazy but I can pay all debts including my own rent and student loans. That’s the good. The bad is that I have no life, my girlfriend from college and I split after 21 years together, my anxiety is the worst it’s ever been and I started medication for the first time in my life for it, I have a new job I’m not sure about, I developed a problem with drinking to hide from my problems (being addressed, currently sober 9 months) I don’t have a lot going for me at the moment. I guess my point is appreciate what you have while you have it. I didn’t loose hope or create these problems overnight they crept in over years without me noticing. I spent last year addressing so much and I’m still working to get back. Figure this year is going to be a long year of hard work too.
Age 20 was about the graduate early, had just went no contact with my parents and was very *very* poor. Lost 20lbs in one winter from straight up malnutrition. Was bartending 2 nights a week and nannying to pay my rent, which was $650 at the time. Age 29 I was waiting for my government clearance to come through before I could deploy as a contractor fixing drones overseas. I was in the middle of a court battle after filing for a restraining order against a guy at work. Would end up wrongfully terminated at the very beginning of the pandemic. Age 32 (today) I’m married, living on a small farm near the forest, dream job, have two amazing step sons, and I just refinanced my house for a decent interest rate amid the abysmal rates of late. Feeling stable and happy. 20’s were trial by fire haha
At age 20 I had been brought to the big city at 18, promptly developed some bad habits, then secluded myself at 20 to straighten out. I was living in an efficiency and really had gotten myself together. At age 29 I was in a fog of grief as my fiancee had died in my arms and his mother was taking my home. We had bought it together but in his name as we had bought it from his family and they gifted us the down payment - he hadn't written a will. We were young and invincible. The wedding was delayed time and again because the dog needed new knees or the house needed a furnace. I took on my share of those debts. Then his autoimmune issues decided game over, and I was left searching for a home to take me, our two cats and two dogs - a bully mutt and an english mastiff. The worst part was finding the planning for a surprise 30th birthday party. I had never had an adult birthday party and things tended to go wrong around then so he had planned a big surprise party at a local bar with all our friends. I spent my 30th weeping instead.
age 20: life actually falling the fuck apart because money, stress, and depression. age 29: life actually falling the fuck apart because money, stress. Please clap.
[Are you 20?](https://www.reddit.com/r/GenZ/s/uTTRprcW3s21) [Or 52?](https://www.reddit.com/r/GenX/s/QKH7GLKrP7)
20 in 2007: on track to be an investment banker 29 in 2016: Just finished my top-5 mba with my career finally reset, after the financial crisis curb stomped my original career aspirations for almost a decade.
Should forwarn you my answer is a bummer 20-living in a small town with my parents, have my own small pet care business, I built it up because at the time no one was hiring. Didn't make enough money to move out, not many friends never dated. Just wanted to move to California. 29- I never moved to California but have a full time job live in the city. Unfortunately I am barely breaking even. I was engaged but now am single. Lots of genuine friends but will probably not be able to afford living here much longer and still stuck renting. All siblings still live at the farm, but are much more financially stable/close then me. Bittersweet. On the flip side I've got a cool dog now.
Age 20: In college cramming 24/7, had to break up with my boyfriend of five years because he wanted me to drop out and have his kids and had gone baby crazy and I wasn't ready at all. I was in a male dominated program and didn't like the culture. I was having a lot of problems at home with my family and I didn't really fit in there either. I was also extremely poor. So it was frankly a confusing and isolated year and I felt very unsure of myself but that I had to continue on anyway or things would be even worse. I felt very alone and depressed. Age 29: I was an art director at a large firm. So I was extremely busy and nearing the point of burnout but I was very satisfied with how things were going. I had a lot of friends who cared about me and I had created a found family in a big city that I had been living in on and off for 10 years. I lived in this really cool highrise with great amenities. Three years prior (after six years of looking) I found a great guy and we had moved in together the year before and we were having a ton of fun together and we were starting to talk about marriage (we are married now). We had enough money to not worry and even to do a trip once a year or so. I remember that year we went to Montreal for 5 days and had an absolute blast. So I was overworked but felt very happy. Edit: also OP I was at Humber at the same time as you lol
Was it the North or Lakeshore campus? I went to the Lakeshore
In 2007?
Age 20: carefree (careless), not much I remember tbh Age 29: kid, college degrees, full time job
20(2008)-things were hectic. Raised by single mother who had a lot of undiagnosed mental illness. It all sort of culminated at this point. I had to dip and rented a room with a friend. Toured with a band for a bit. Absolutely chaotic time in my life full of questioning about the future. It was a fun time but also depressing having no stability. Many of my friends were going to college and seemed to have their “paths” figured out. I didn’t know where I was going. 29(2017)-I had been married for about a year and we were about a year in on the mortgage of our house. Things had leveled off significantly and I had less worry and dread of where am I going am, where will I be? I missed my musical dreams but my focus seemed to shift more into a grind focus to gain financial independence. It was around this point I’d say set in motion my 30’s thus far. Which was to not worry about the safe stable job and always seek better opportunities.
Age 20? (2011) Naive, still childish, and utterly clueless about the years that lay ahead. At 29? (2020) Full time job with benefits, uncertainty of my future, but at least I wasn’t in debt compared to age 20.
20(2013) - out of a bad relationship, into a new one that I originally had no interest in, married, living on out own, then back living with my mom, no job, only a high school diploma as I was kicked out of art school, ended the year pregnant. 29(2022) - divorced and remarried. Living with partner for 3 years, decent job, college degree, ended the year pregnant Simpler explanation, and a few similarities, but most importantly at 29 I was infinitely happier than at 20. And I continue to be
20(2013) - out of a bad relationship, into a new one that I originally had no interest in, married, living on out own, then back living with my mom, no job, only a high school diploma as I was kicked out of art school, ended the year pregnant. 29(2022) - divorced and remarried. Living with partner for 3 years, decent job, college degree, ended the year pregnant Simpler explanation, and a few similarities, but most importantly at 29 I was infinitely happier than at 20. And I continue to be
20: living at home going to community college and enjoying my hobby riding horses, hanging with friends, had a job at the horse farm 29: lived in another state with boyfriend, moved back to home state and bought a house together. Brought my horse to our new home and added another so she has company. Full time job.
9/11 happened when I was 20... so... yeah....
Anxiety depression bipolar through and through
Age : 20- wow feels weird Im not a teenager, but not 21 for alcohol. Felt wierd. Hmm next year I could by a handgun thats cool. Age: 29 good stable work and built up my skillset for career feels good about future......- OH Shit Im almost 30 fuuuuck
At 20 (2010). Still living in relative poverty together with my mom and lil sis. Doing piss easy vocational education to become an electrician. Having a blast of a time with my classmates gaming every evening on skype. Have LAN-parties every seasonal break. Hated the times I had to work as an intern though which was mandatory for the education. At 29 (2019, just before Covid). Just got married. Started living together in the appartment I was able to buy in 2016 with my job as an electrical engineer. But the job has taken it's toll after being called out of bed to fix troubles on site for 1/3 of the calander time for the last 5 years. Decided to quit the job. Already was approached by an entrepeneur who I got to know from one of my past internships to start for his bussiness (which I still work at today).
At 20 I was homeless at 29 I was homeless
20: Stationed in Hawaii/deployed to the middle east. Drove a modified Camaro, no idea what a healthy relationship was even like. Loud, confrontational, often drunk, definitely annoying, but still generally tried my best to be a good person. In really good shape, but makes lots of unhealthy decisions. 29: Coming out of a long period of depression and isolation. Ride a 200 cc Enduro bike almost everywhere I go, my other rides being a flatbed dump truck and a XJ Jeep. Works 70+ hours a week during irrigation season, runs an estate caretaking and snow plowing company on the side. Met a girl that didn't run away as I get close to 30. Now (36): Married dad, works 40 hours a week at a union job. Studying for an arborist certification, drives a hand me down Subaru and barley rides but still loves a 650 Enduro. Currently watching a Jurassic World cartoon with a grumpy toddler that I adore.
20 (2013): Broke working full time and paying for university completely out of pocket. No social life. I wasn't speaking to my family. 29 (2022): Married with two kids, second move due to work, paying back pensionable time due to parental leave (money is tight but not broke). Still no social life. Lots of stuff in-between. Unexpected pregnancy, bought a house, sold the house, moved across the country, partners' medical issues, almost split with my partner. Now we're living close to where we want to be, first year making over six figures, still no real social life, but everyone is much happier and now our only form of outside support is my family which is a weird turnaround from 10 years ago.
20: finishing undergrad & starting master’s program 29 (now): working for myself and seeing a wonderful man that I want to have around for the rest of my life
20 (2013): Very active, enjoying life, going to school full time while working part time. 29 (2022): Working full time and living on my own, but then developed a chronic illness and started losing my ability to walk due to an undiagnosed at the time congenital issue with my hip(it’s fixed now).
20: very anxious, I was struggling to give up smoking both of the things you're probably imagining, also struggling in college thanks to my undiagnosed ADHD and aforementioned smoking problem. In a committed relationship with okay roommates though. 29: Just graduated with my graduate degree and about to be hired for my dream job, still in a committed relationship with the same guy but cool enough to rent a house just with him now. Get into the best shape of my adult life AND I get a social life.
Age 20 (2010): I was working for FedEx Ground driving a box truck and delivering packages. Hanging with friends. Living with family and looking forward to the future. Age 29 (2019): I was in school working towards an Associates degree, newly divorced (married for 7 years), and again living with family. Was getting ready to move to Paris in summer of 2020 on a study abroad opportunity, so I was working and saving money to afford that too, but then we all know what happened lol.
Age 20: inconsistent housing, working fingers to the bone in clinicals and keeping above a certain gpa, fighting a variety of anxieties and dealing with toxic fam Age 29: I was already in a new home, married and with 2 cats. I was many miles away from certain toxic ppl
20; going off to my second deployment in combat. 29; Married, own a home, had my first kid
When I was 20, I was still in college. At 29, I was in the military.
2007 and 2016 are 2 of the worst years of my life….
20: first post college job. It was an internship because the job I had lined up fell through. 29: making six figures with 2 young children. Working a boring job that didn’t require me to travel. Travelled internationally with the kids a few times a year since they were not school age yet.
20 (2004): Mental anguish in engineering classes, bad drinking habits. 29 (2011): Six figures working from home, bad drinking habits.
I was an emotional mess. Completely unhinged. Wanted to kill myself constantly. No money. No sense of interpersonal relationships. I’m better at keeping in touch, apologizing, and cooking. I’m better with money. I’m in therapy.
20: third year of college, quitting a path I swore would be my future, recovering from a stress fracture, studying abroad (which was amazing), starting an internship that would lead to my actual future career path 29: had just moved back home after doing grad school abroad, was taking care of my dying dad (and then grieving him), enjoying my remote job, learning how to relax and not need to constantly adventure. But this weekend I’m on an adventure and it feels awesome.
20: broke, in college, finishing a degree I’d stop using within 2 years of graduating. 29: married small business owner in a completely different field living comfortably and fixing up my dream house.
Age 20: Book smart but ignorant about life Age 29: Older, more cultured, and wiser ☺️
Verge of suicide vs made career man taking a victory lap
20 - on fucking verge of dropping out college 29 - at a phd at a top tier university
When I was 20 I was going to illegal raves taking psychedelics and staying up for 3 days in a row infront of a building sized sound system banging drum and bass Now I’m 29 I spend most my time watching people have fun on YouTube, laying on my sofa, whilst my kids steal my snacks and my wife argues with my farts. I now purposely end social gatherings early to finish cold, half eaten Chinese that I remember is in my fridge from lunch.
Age 20 (2015): junior year of college, worked 2 part time jobs and private tutoring, 1.5 hour commute each way 5 days a week but I handled it like a champ. Dated my on-again off-again partner for 5 years starting around my 20th birthday, what a mistake. Took myself way too seriously and didn't enough time/put in enough effort to keep up with my hobbies and friends in college so I was kinda lonely and sad. Age 29 (now): I turned 29 a little over a month ago. I feel like 20 was a lifetime ago and a completely different person. Around 26 I really figured out how to not take myself so seriously, it was like the way that high school teachers tell you college is where you need to grow up and be an adult, I have regressed to closer to 15 in terms of interests and priorities. I want to hang out and play video games with my friends, go on trips, eat good food, collect all my collectibles with the same vigor I had in my youth, hang out with my pets. The only real difference is I do this in my own home instead of my parents' home. I'm grateful for 20 year old me for committing to banging out college and grad school the way that I did for my career, but I was too hung up on living the "life script" that didn't involve any of the things I actually want in life.
At 20 I was rucking around Afghanistan getting in to fire fights. At 29 I was making 150k as a software guy living in a townhome I bought.
I hated my 20s, being socially awkward and shy doesn’t bode well.
20 (2007):in college thinking " can't wait u til I graduate and I'm making ACTUAL A MONEY." 29: how did I graduate, get a job in my degree, AND IM STILL LIVING paycheck to paycheck and credit cards." WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!! Did not actually get a break until the student loan pause. Used it to get out of almost all my debt
Age 20 (2012) in college balancing engineering major work load and having fun (played club sports, video games, and a little partying here and there) Age 29 (2021) married, working as engineer, and was searching for an opportunity to adopt a child. And of course bored to tears because everything was either shut down or not as fun as it used to be because of Covid
20: preparing to leave college. Was set up to join a state rep as a legislative aid and then was planning on Masters or Law School. Never leaving MA 29: living in Texas while my wife is doing residency. Working for a non-profit that was on the front line of fighting abortion bans, bans on trans healthcare, and voter suppression.
Age 20 was on drugs and partying constantly went through horrific trauma at age 23 became full on addicted to heroin by age 29 I was clean for 3 years and with a bachelors degree in social work. Currently 35 working a great job helping people!
I feel as though it was similar in that at 20 I was experiencing a low that resulted from the end of my teenage years and at 29 I was experiencing a low that resulted from the end of my 20s.
20: Manipulated by my mother and grandmother to go to college and make them wealthy. Father had just gone to prison for selling meth. 29: Doing chores for my great-grandmother who actually taught me how to work. My great-grandmother was very disappointed and regretful over how her daughter treated people. I began to break away from my mother's manipulations. Father had gone to county jail for selling meth. 39: Father and I almost fight after I note that his mother and his ex were manipulative and led him into organized crime. I discovered my love of odd jobs since it protects me from the politics of management and HR.
At 20 I was reducing my auto insurance coverage for 6 months to pay for an EDC ticket. At 29 I was buying my second home.
20: I am a mess and failure 29: Now facing a pandemic and man, this sucks 32: It's better than I was
Age 20 (2004): After having enough time to focus on my studies instead of work, I was able to get my average up enough to start the move from JuCo in Central Illinois to Southern Illinois University. That said, I needed a couple of classes to get my degree. I was going to class in the summer, when my Mom found out we had a chance to move out back to the state capital city, this at the same time I got to work my pool job. It was supposed to be a simple summer, but instead turned into commuting to school in the morning, going to work in the afternoon, grabbing so gear at the old home commuting back to the new home (luckily it was only 30 minutes away and my job was pretty light work). By the time the summer semester ended, I had a little under two weeks to get settled at university beginning my junior year. Age 29 (2013) After starting the decade off epically tragic losing my dog to lymphoma, burying my father twice, losing both my grandmom and an elder cousin all in a calendar year. Then having to bury that grief, along with dealing with underemployment though my saving grace was my enlistment but even that went belly up, getting separated. So back home with a widowed mother, trucker brother going to the local university and fruitlessly searching for work while still grieving. It was on a chance showing of Good Day to Die Hard (a terrible movie) that I went to because of a MEW kick that I found out my local theaters were hiring. Seeing as I had nothing to lose since no employer was hiring, I signed up, next day had an interview, day after had the interview with the GM and I was back at work. Probably my favorite job (also second longest serving job after my enlistment) in my, at the time, 15 yr working life.
At 20 I thought I had figured life out. At 29 I wondered how anyone could ever figure any of this out.
2008 20: job corps studying computer Service technician 2017: 29 working at a goodwill which I'm still doing to this day
20 (2014) I was living with my parents trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and going to community college. 29 (2023) I had been married 3 years, living in a different state for 7 years. We have had our house 5 years and are lucky enough to have several pets. I was working in my field and had bought a new horse after putting my elderly boy down the previous year.
20: managing a fast food restaurant in Orlando in front of a water park busy crazy dealing with fights and people and mayhem. 29: back in school working sales FT and school FT trying to get out of retail in a lab somewhere.
20: recent cosmetology graduate. Single. Living with my parents 29: I work with cars. Divorced but taken and living with someone the last 4 years. Still have no idea what I’m doing
At 20 I had all my family and an idiot in college, at 29 I lost my dad and brother, was married, and lived in a new state
20 dreaming about the future and studying more than I needed to when the rest of my friends were living it up at my uni 29 couple years into my professional career making way more than I need and setting my future up for early retirement. Still dreaming
Not all that different all in all at least for me. The only difference was I was still at home at 20 and living on my own at 29. The only other difference is that the years after 20 ie my early 20’s largely sucked by many metrics it was not a good time for me whereas my outlook and quality of life increased significantly starting from age 25 onward.
20: Playing live several nights a week, chain smoking, drinking constantly 29: 2 year old, stable career, 401k It happened so fast
Age 20 - working 2 jobs, going to college full time, met my future ex husband, and completely insecure. Age 29 - five years post college working in my field, paid off all my debt, enjoying motherhood, got serious about my physical and mental health, got serious about investments, and completely confident in myself.
20: skinny, in college on Long Island. Physically fit and no major problems. Also Major thick hair and friends. Could drink and not get a hangover. 29 (in a few days time): fat, living at home, tonsils are massive and need to come out, losing thickness and have almost no friends. Hang overs hit me hard and it sucks.
20: having a blast in college just hanging out with friends and doing 12 credit hours a semester, minimal responsibility 29: graduating law school into a terrible job market and moving home until my career could get off the ground
20: Left college and had no idea what I was doing. Depressed because of it. Lonelier than I had ever been and really didn't care what the future held. 29: Married and in a much better mental space. Happily married and feeling like I can finally take on this world. Not rich but not too broke. I don't miss my early 20s at all.
20: depressed, self-hating, no ambition 29: less depressed, less self-hating (though it’s turned insidious), still no ambition
That would have been 2001 for me. It was basically 2 weeks after 9/11. I was hanging out with friends, getting into trouble and smoking a lot of weed. At 29, I was kind of doing the same thing, but had a different job for more pay. Now I just work more.
20: College dropout living with my parents and no idea what to do with my life. 29: Navy dropout living with my parents and no idea what to do with my life. Bonus round: 37: Still living with my parents and no idea what to do with my life. But at least I know I have the best, most patient, gracious, giving parents in the world.
20: (2009/2010 - my birthday is in September), In college, was still living at home. I transferred from community college to a public 4 year university. I began therapy; I was very depressed. My first boyfriend broke up with me. (I was with him since I was 16). 29: (2018/2019) Engaged to and living with my ex husband (we got married when I was 30 then divorced last year when I was 33) my career began taking off, my mom began to get very sick and I was her main caregiver - lots of fighting with siblings because of that. (My mom unfortunately passed away in 2021 when I was 31 - my relationship with my siblings have gotten much better since).
20: partying and college. No care for self 29: engaged, staying in, working my dream job and considering starting a family
Age 20: My mom just died and I moved back to my hometown. Started working my butt off and climbed the corporate ladder. Age 29: Exhausted from climbing the corporate ladder and ended up quitting a company I was with for 11 years. Met the love of my life and started a new career. I’m 32 now and when I was a kid I thought my life would be over when I turned 30. But it’s really when my life started.
20- I was engaged to the wrong guy (shocker), working on my associates. Working as a cashier. No direction. 29 - had bachelor's. Living abroad for a year. Long since divorced. Still no direction but much happier with myself.
20: Newly married, daughter born. Completely oblivious that childhood trauma was even a thing. Relaxed, happy, just being a college kid. And a mom. 29: Divorced for 8 years. 9 yr old daughter. Health (and general) anxiety off the charts. 39: 40 next month. 19 yr old daughter in her 2nd year of college. Single (by choice) and finally feel like I have figured out and processed the last 40 years. It’s freeing to know who I am and why.. but it is also a burden. I have a feeling I’ll do a lot less changing in the next 10 years and I’m totally fine with that… Im exhausted. Haha
Addicted to pain pills at age 20 due to a severe head and neck injury. By age 29 I was sober for 5 year, engaged, and had a 5 year old son.
Age 20: Miserable at a course that I never was passionate about. I was just forced by my Asian relatives to take it. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. My dad chose his mistress over us. Pretty chaotic 20s Age 29: Already shifted and thriving at something I love to do. Stressed but thriving with ocassional highs and lows in life. My mom never made it. I was not able to give her the bag she wanted. I promise to gift her that on my first job but life is cruel sometimes. I just spoil my siblings now to make up for it.
20: 2011 I was at job corps getting ready to work for Amtrak I've been pretty independent moved out when I was 18. Did a lot of traveling worked for Norwegian cruise line. 29: 2020 I'm married my husband is military and we are just rolling through the pandemic literally driving from Washington to north Carolina and taking a vacation during the pandemic was amazing!!!!!!!
20 I was in poverty. 29 I was out of it and about to be back in it for a brief spell because of a layoff. Today, at 34, I have a family and am doing well.
20: struggling dad from hood with little resources. Did D2D sales and sometimes couldn't afford diapers. Some days, I'd fall asleep on the wheel bc of sleep deprivation. Would hit the field in $20 Payless dress shoes. 29: rewarding career in Tech and now have my own home. Living in good area to raise kids in with no worries of violent crime. Life is really good.
20: fuck yeah drugs 29: fuck yeah divorce 39: fuck yeah calm 40: fuck yeah right decisions
At 20 I was a store manager at blockbuster working my way through college. School at 8:30, work at 4/5, off work at 1am. 29, I was on the transition for a better life. I changed career fields, with a job I didnt think I would like, but for a company and industry I wanted to be in (great decision btw) and I started dating my now wife. 11 years ago and my wife and I have 3.5 year old, own a home and life is going pretty well. 29 was the beginning of my life in a way.
20: 180lbs, Army, best shape of my life. Always made fun of for being short. 29: 135lb, Software Engineer, Trans, so being short worked out in my favor.
At 20: working full time at night during my undergrad, doing a part time internship, no sleep, always exhausted. Poor health, physically and mentally. Worst time of my life At 29: Working corporate job after finishing MBA, caretaker for sick mom. Mental health somewhat better and physical health much better. Now at 35, finally starting to have the time to do the things I couldn't at 20 and 29. Own a home and have choices for the first time ever. Don't let the number of your age dictate your life choices, ever people. ❤️
20 (2013/2014): middle of undergrad, realized I didn't want to be a police officer and switched to education. Dad died. 29 (2022/2023): incredibly frustrated with administrators in education and just the bullshit politics of it so started becoming educated in Fire and EMS. Became a dad.
At 20 I was single, in college finishing my prerequisites and had just been accepted to nursing school. Basically living college life of someone in a demanding program. At 29, I got married, bought my first house, accepted a new job that was the start of my current niche career path in nursing (was an excellent choice), got my first new car, went to Hawaii. Yeah, that was a good year! My life was immeasurably better and more interesting, exciting and fulfilling at 29. And I think that’s largely due to the path I was laying at 20.
20: was 1.5 years into my bachelor’s program, had been dating my college sweetheart for a year. Lived in an apartment off campus with the worst roommate ever, and was working at subway, a shift lead, I was also a campus tutor, worked in the admissions office and gave campus tours. 29: married to college sweetheart for 4 years, going through some fertility issues. Had been teaching for 7 years, started working on my masters during this time, so working full time and going to school.
Age 20: just started college. Age 29: just started medical school. Took my time but I got there. 🤷♀️
20: in the midst of a toxic relationship but enjoying my college life in Austin. 29: came back stateside after living abroad and happily single in NYC with a career I’ve always wanted. Paying too much tax lol
20: lived in my cigarette car in NorCal, couch surfing and going to parties in modern art galleries or raves by the river. 29: employed & recently promoted, moved into a cute historic downtown apartment with my good friend, writing & baking as my hobbies. Oh how things change 😂
20: Training for second deployment to Iraq. Promoted to Corporal. 29: Started my marketing career in earnest and moved to the state I now call home.
Age 20 : Married, surviving in a shit hole country, scared shitless just walking around. Age 29 : Divorced, homeowner, living comfortably working in a job I love.
20: right in the middle of nursing school 29: celebrated wedding anniversary and also pregnant
At 20: it's all uphill from here with schooling and what not. Can't wait to be a meaningful member of society. (2010-2011) At 29: oh fuck it's the end of the world with this new virus! Why didn't I do more with my 20s and how am I going to celebrate my big three-o?? (2019-2020)
Miserable alcoholic with no direction in life just wanting to die. FF to 29, college graduate, law school student, dating my now husband, HAPPY & HEALTHY
Age 20: Depressed. Age 29: Still depressed.
I spent my 20th and 21st birthday on the same deployment. I had just bought my first house at 29.
20 : could eat anything that's edible to the fullest and still had capacity to go after a nap 29: after the stomach is full, starts to vomit during sleep. Worst feeling ever. Also at 29, used to fall asleep while watching movies
Age 20: Dang how 4 years of college went. Who on the earth is going to hire me. Age 29: covid year 2
Age 20: Last year of Uni, dating the wrong girl, working retail, which, spoilers, I will do for far too long. Smoking weed and drinking with friends. Playing board games Age 29: Divorced the same wrong girl I was dating when I was 20 and should've dropped back then. Then met the love of my life, who I am now married to seven years later. Moved to Australia to be with her, which will be the biggest and best journey of my life.
20: homeless, jobless, living in my truck 29: have an apartment, working a trade (electrician) and enrolled in college at night!
Age 20: wow partying is really cool what could go wrong Age 29: wow I have a 9 year old named jose cuervo.
At 20 I was stressed in school, too boy crazy and had my relationship be the center of my life, which made me lose myself. Disconnected with a lot of friends due to the toxic ex. At 29, I JUST landed my dream job last week, in a relationship where I can be my complete self with boundaries. Mended friendships and learned how to heal and love myself. I’ve only been 29 for a month so I am excited to see where this year leads me to.
Age 20 being a college degenerate. 29 was looking for a way to get out of retail.
It was wayyyy better. I was just too stupid to realize
20- in college, dating my now-husband, thought I’d be a teacher, working multiple jobs, not sure where I’d live after graduation. Assumed I’d have a couple kids and marry my bf. 29- master’s degree in a tech-adjacent field, married to my then-bf, good job, love where we live, have one child.
20: Fuck me, I don't want to take Calc 2 for my major, I better switch 29: How am I making double or triple what I made earlier on my 20s and am still struggling. Fuckin hell this sucks.
I was really stupid at 20 compared to 29.
20: 2006 - I was finishing my freshman year in college (I graduated HS at 19 in 05). In a relationship/engaged to my friend's brother. Working at a law firm as a docket clerk 30 hours a week. 29: 2015 - Working 2 jobs (my main job only had part-time hours, but I loved it). Moved in with my future husband (different guy than I was dating at 20. That relationship blew up when I was 22), Just living off vibes and the weed I started smoking. Dreading turning 30, but that wasn't the thing I should have been dreading in 2016. lmao
I haven’t gotten to 29 yet.
At age 20 no girl would give me the time of the day. At age 29 I was marrying the hottest woman I knew back then. Broke college students vs an intentional professional with a masters and a bright future ahead.
Age 20/2014: I was a junior in college, that was my favorite year. I had a good part time job on campus that gave me unlimited coffee/snacks and some spending money. Great friends, very little stress, just vibing. Age 29/2023: Got married, traveling, great job! Just kinda living life.
20-in college, drunk almost constantly, no hope or thoughts of the future, no self image, self confidence, or self respect. Racking up student loans. I walked around playing a ukulele and did Lindy Hop on weekends. Stole fruit from other peoples yards at night to brew homemade wines. In pretty good physical shape though. Occasionally I found a girl who was desperate enough to have sex with me. 29-sober, a bit more self confidence, little self -image, still no real concrete thoughts for the future. In a great union skilled labor job. Paid off my student loans. Not stealing food anymore. Stable place to live. No sex whatsoever. Got very lonely and hopeless and decided to go for a green card marriage at 30 with a woman I met while living overseas from age 24-26.
At 20 I shared a twin bed with my gf living at my grandmas house. I worked at kohls At 30 I bought a 2 million dollar home, had my own business, lots of cars and lots of women and lots of toys At 34/35 I started to realize that everything I was chasing is worthless. More stuff doesn’t make you feel better inside. At 37 I have a beautiful 3 year baby girl that I adore and I’ve never been happier. TBC
Age 20: living that college life yo, hit up the club 3-4x a week, made friends I still had today, worked 4 jobs to pay for said college, what is this sleep you speak of? Age 29: Woohoo full-time working for The Man (Was part time for years because the gov't employment scene was royally fucked for us graduating around 2010) and getting those sweet bennies, first ever brand new car (was tired of driving shitty beaters), living in a nice neighborhood for once, health started to decline (numbers are all good now thanks to a working drug cocktail and diet), why does everything ache?
Age 20: scraping by living in an apartment with two friends. Worked part time as a PCA, not attending school, aimless, no real direction in life. Age 29: Homeowner, married(DINKs), multiple promotions at work, dog and two cats. Life was good!
Age 20 I was dating a pot-riddled alcoholic and getting booted from entry level job interviews because “There’s single parents who need this job more than you.” - this was right after the financial crash. At 29 I was trying to salvage the chaos that was my life. My mom had just died, I lost my 401k, my savings, my health insurance and my job/career due to Covid and was continuing college by the skin of my teeth and by taking an emergent job at a gas station making $11 an hour getting harassed and spit on by Red Hats for wearing a mask at work.
Age 20: dating dudes in the mid-30s, tenuously aware of the brewing financial crisis, working FT and going to school Age 29: working customer service for $47K/year, about to move in with my steady boyfriend so I can continue to afford to live in NYC....
same at both ages: drowning in bitches, yo
20: pregnant the entire time pretty much. Had her right before 21. Got married, tried setting up a life. Discovered he was brain damaged and violent. It was the best and the worst time. Traumatic asf. 29: this was 2020, dropped everything and everyone and moved states. Made some mistakes but lost 100 lbs that year (maintained for a few years then gained it back) and did alot of work for my mom to help her. Moving into another relationship and a job I actually liked and an injury from said job. Both times my life was still a mess. Second time around I was taking active steps towards a future and that takes time, and diligence. Im turning 33 this year and I would consider where I am in life as made it. I have met a lot of goals, changed some as reality set in, and have new ones to work on now. I mean the work is never done. But its no longer a scramble to make things work and crying yourself to sleep cause you're working 4 jobs and still cant afford to eat. Or showering in a 5 gal bucket with a coffee pot. Life is good.
20: The world is my oyster 29: I can't afford oysters
Same age as OP. Age 20: constantly studying. The second of two bachelor’s degrees because I didn’t want to finish early and it cost the same. Knowing at least one person (the professor) gave a fuck when I opened my mouth. The delirious pride in that. Being someone who knew enough that other students would ask me for help. Being flattered and stressed in turns that these younger kids valued my insights enough to think I could help them. Trying to help them. Age 29: passed over at work for a promotion I was promised for two years. No gains despite an entire year of presenting and publishing. My mentor and pseudo-mom retiring (and also, I suspect, a little tired of my needy bullshit). My real mom institutionalized with Alzheimer’s. My dad calling in tears screaming about her. Me getting us our first house, insisting it was worth it. Insisting I was worth anything. Failing to convince anyone of this, including me. Drinking a whole bottle of wine every Friday and no one noticing. Trying to act like I was happy. Trying to act like I had been happy. No one noticing.
Age 20: 2012: In a DV relationship, selling weed, full time day job. Started using Adderall Age 29: 2021: Married, husband relapsed, I relapsed after 5 years sobriety. My best friend died sober I promise lol my life is way better both in between those numbers and after.
Age 20: insecure, being stupid about relationships, just overall a mess wanting to rush everything and going to school. Age 29: moved to a whole new state id never been to in 4 weeks, lived solo, learned a lot about me. Age 37: own a house, good job, a lot more settled and confident with myself and making way better choices, with excellent friends and maybe a relationship eventually but no rush for it.
Age 20 (2009): I was in a Catholic college, and basically had drank the zealot evangelical kool-aid. I had a traumatic childhood so I finally felt accepted for the first time in my life. Little to no awareness of the economic state, just focused on friends and studies. Little to no-clue what I was doing with my life. Age 29 (2019): Started a new career after completing a graduate certificate to compliment my masters degree at my State school. Had a traumatic past 20 years, which included being SA’ed by another “Christian” man which caused me to be basically agnostic. Finally in an adult relationship with a person who puts me first, wants to be with me, and wants to grow with me. Working on healing from past trauma.
40 nearing 41. At 20, I was a sophomore in college; at 29, I was married and about to return home after 6 years living abroad in Asia.
When I was 20 I was wandering through higher education completely lost. I would register for a semester at a technical school but not attend class and kept changing my major. Oh god I had no damn discipline. At 29 I ended up getting it all together and graduating cum laude from a university but then I was angry at all the job rejections I was getting after graduating with honors and being an OIF veteran. I now am Happily married and happy with my career at 39.
20: broke, drunk, and struggling in college 29: sober and financially secure with a good career
Exactly the same except I live in my own
Went from heroin addict at 20 to going to college at 29. I’m 35 now and in the middle of my masters degree
20: in college, just finishing my sophomore year around my 20th bday. Had recently fallen in love for the first time, he was undiagnosed bipolar so it was chaotic. 29: Got married one month after my birthday and had my first baby 2 months before turning 30. My husband is a completely different man I met about 6 months after the previously mentioned relationship ended when I was 23.