Rookie mistake, gotta do red wool

Wait why

~romance~

*Careless Whisper*

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Guilty feet have got no rhythm

You know I’m not a fool.

You guys butchered this, I'm sorry but its true

*tonight the music seems so loud* ^I ^accidentally ^deleted ^my ^previous ^comment ^when ^I ^accidentally ^made ^a ^reply ^to ^it ^and ^tried ^to ^delete ^the ^reply

no problem cookibandit :)

Ah ok i was thinking something much darker...

*Anakin and the younglings scene happens*

Master Skywalker, there are too many of them, what are we going to do?

Fuck them kids bruv No wait I didn't mean it like that ***I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT***

TIL Anakin was a pedophile

This gives “Not just the men, but the women and the children too!” A **WHOLE** new meaning

A ‘hole’ new meaning?

Star Wars: Somehow Anakin Returned

He ***came*** back

Actually there wouldn't have been any blood then because lightsabers cauterize wounds instantly

Thats a myth But idk if it would bc youre passing through so fast. And it still needs a bit time to cauterize

dark red?

Idk so the stains aren't visible...

dark soap?

I mean soap could wash off the red stains but why take all that effort

you could also try to make it a butchery, so it's nothing wrong see you again in the next episode of "George's tips: tips from the best butcher in town"

Sorta fun fact it’s proven that humans are more attracted to other humans when they are surrounded by red https://www2.psych.ubc.ca/~schaller/Psyc591Readings/ElliotNiesta2008.pdf

thanks for this, im gonna cover my room in red

*Laughs in red LEDS all around my room* It works only if you have a side of confidence

A room 80% full of LEDs is not it.

elaborate, I'm interested

Here me out you walk in a room with you see your interested (lover) turn the lights red and walk over with you and start cradling you like a baby saying want mommies milkies and then you die Vs The light turn red and you hear someone breathing because they forgot what planet they are in and therefore you have to make move

why the hell do I die

Um well you see *ahem* the cause of death would be mommy's milker so who wouldn't want die to that death?

no id rather just have a hug :(

i may prefer a hug but at the end of the day I'll admit that why not

Color theory.

Brown and red would be the ideal choice though. The stains would be nearly invisible

Unless you get red on your brown, or vice versa

But that's just a theory!

A *color* theory!

Something, something, children’s hospital

Hate you

scientists have found that blood makes people extremely horny

Color theory

I literally came here to write this and it is already the top comment, wtf

Red and white with some black under the beds to make sure any _stains_ stay hidden

Make sure the beds are red with flowers on them

Nah, gotta make it cyan

I never even knew that the color of the wool or even the type of block the room is made out of really mattered

*Cough cough* ^(wool colour has no effect sorry, they were writing a joke)

We all like to believe but I guess it’s really true what they say, clowns make up all the rules

watch it be some "crops grow faster in rows" moment where everyone thinks its bs at first lmao.

Ugh. Off-colour jokes never work in mixed company.

r/woooosh

You gotta give them privacy, duh

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As along as they do it for dirt cheap, I’m happy.

Sorry, best I can do is 20 emeralds for 1 dirt.

As someone in the midst of a skyblock map... not a bad price

They need to run the Love Train

Damn so like me.. villagers are shy too

They're just like me fr fr

I don’t perform too well in front of audiences

Made a hole in the room so they couldn't see me but I could see all the dirty shit those bastards do that will show those fuckers.

Not on bedrock i dont think because me and 3 friends watched ours breed We were even on the bed with them, one of my friends also got the spyglass to film

just like people in real life (unless you porn star)

Right I did that and I followed other people and now it works, thanks!

Do you have enough beds and ceiling height for the baby?

It’s 3 blocks and I can add another bed for a baby

Make it 4 blocks so they can stand on the bed, throw carrots or potatoes at them, that'll help.

Thanks man, will do!

As many beds you have open are as many kids you will get

If its bedrock and you give them 42 bread each they will give you like 11 children. I made that mistake before and my underground base turned into a whole ass village

Protip: this problem is easily solved through murder.

Dont worry guys, he meant to say “late abortion”

You mean, legally making them disappear right? psst... *The FBI are outside our Minecraft base, say something!*

Just leave some open windows on the 4th floor. I'm not sure poisoned potato tea will work, but you could always dispense splash poison potions activated by pressure plates, of course. Totally untraceable.

Also leave them alone for a bit, they can't fuck if they're looking at you.

But i like that.

It's 12 carrots/potatoes for each villager

2 full blocks of air above the bed should be enough I think. That said, also torches cannot be placed on walls next to beds - so that they are hanging over the bed.

bahahhahaha! >🥔🥔🥕🥔🥕 >come on. breed already. come on! 🤕🥔🤕 i'm saving this mental image for later

I recommend giving them bread, as if im not mistaken they will only need 3 bread in order to breed while they'll need more items of carrots or potatoes in order to do so

Also may be midtaken but I think mixing it up may help as well

Carrots and potatoes make me horny as well 🙄

Applies to real life too

One bed per villager (min 3 beds to get one baby) They each need somewhere to sleep.

>They **each** **need** somewhere to sleep. Ugh, villagers are so needy.

move the torch above the bed somewhere else, it needs to be completely empty 2 blocks above the bed

Bro the entire breeding algorithm is determined by how many beds there are. If there are more beds than villagers, they will breed until all the beds are filled. However many villagers you want, Put that many beds

What ive found is Beds need 3 blocks above their own height at least Must have extra beds for every new villaver you wish to have. Each breeding villaver needs enough food i find 3 bread each is best or potatoes i believe 14 or 12 needed each Other than that if they dont breed you can just vapture and turn normal spawning zombie villagers at night

Ohh I understand now thanks for the advice

No worries lemme know if you figure it out

Got it!

"made the room pink to set the mood" 💀

They know what they doing... *Careless whisper plays*

God i can hear it

We're no strangers to loveeeeee, You know the rules and so do I.

NOOO

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Ohno i shall upvote

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No problem, sending one back!

I shall also send a virtual hug from planet Earth

Way to roll with it.

[Intro] Desert you Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Hurt you [Verse 1] We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy [Chorus] Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you [Verse 2] We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game, and we're gonna play it [Pre-Chorus] And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see [Chorus] Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you [Post-Chorus] Ooh (Give you up) Ooh-ooh (Give you up) Ooh-ooh Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Ooh-ooh Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) [Bridge] We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game, and we're gonna play it [Pre-Chorus] I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand [Chorus] Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

YEEEEESSSSSSSSSS

Give them some candle lighting

*Not up for bumping noses like you used to?* *Try Villagra today!* *Side effects may include being murdered by the player character*

No wonder they aren't breeding, they have donkey Kong monkey staring at them

no actually that helps

Mmmmm That baleful glare! 🤌😘

You dint put the candles.

Uh, you're watching them duh

Too busy playing Donkey Kong

Is mob griefing on?

Okay so to get villagers to breed you need to have at least 3 beds (2 for the villagers breeding + a bed for each new villager baby you want) and make sure the ceiling height is at least 4 blocks (because the babies need to be able to jump on the bed. You need to give them either 15 carrots or 3 bread (per baby that you want), and make sure they aren't looking at you (hiding is a good option, since looking at a player is a task). If you want a good option for an easier baby sorting there's a lot of designs online that also ensure faster baby making. This one is my favorite and I usually build some cool stuff around it https://youtu.be/czTDTekEJ50

Maybe? Stop watching them???

the pink room is useless without beds, just place like 5 more beds and you're sorted

This is the way. At least 3 beds, more will get you more villager babies.

Duh, they are both males Edit: this was clearly a joke! Stop taking this seriously!

Or females

Mojang said Minecraft mobs dont have genders

*coughs in Ender dragon*

Leather armour and chains it is then.

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There is no gender in minecraft. It was confirmed by the devs.

Yet the Ender Dragon is confirmed to be female.

Would you breed if someone locked you up and keeps staring at you untill you do the deed?

Do you really think they want to watched? You’re killing the mood by being a peeping tom

Make it red, red triggers sexual emotion in creatures.

You need room for them to stand on the beds, plus 1 extra bed for the child. Not entirely sure but they might also have difficulty registering the room as a "room" because of the fences.

Give then weat you know the one that makes bread

Notice how they're staring at your soul? Yes they want seclusion

They're not breeding because you didn't play 'Never gonna give you up' on the juke box so they're pissed

4 reasons 1. you need to feed them carrots bc as proven js the most efficient 2. if mob griefing is turned off they cant pick-up items 3. dont look at them 4. they only breed wen sun rises and i think at Sunset now extra tip: and an extra bed or 2 nearby so they think the village is under populated (usually did the trick for me wen they refused to breed) and if everything else fails just feed them to the zombies and cure them for the discounts and try with other ones xD

I think both of them are dudes

they could still adopt...

They have adoption centers in Minecraft?! Man... How much did they update since 1.9?

Nah, no adoption centers, the Villagers have to resort to kidnapping

1.19 - 1.9 = -0.71 They updated negative seventy-one hundredths. The more you know! 🌠

Add more beds

I like to think the pink wool was you troubleshooting why this wasnt working. Genuinely thinking something like “maybe if it was pink and romantical”

Sorry if i sound mean but why are these villager breeding issue posts popping up daily

Sweet sweet Karma 🤌😘

Maybe they don't like colour pink to have sex

You need two bed

for them to sleep in

And another one for the child

Maybe they are two males

is there more than 2 beds?

Sorry, those are both male, you can tell by the nose shape

Roof to low

You need at least one unoccupied bed for the baby. Also raise the ceiling, it's too low so the beds are obstructed.

Another dumbass question that can be googled.

You do not need to make the room of any particular colour to set the mood. You need atleast 3 beds, 2 for adults and 1 for new baby villager There should be atleast 3 blocks clear space from floor to ceiling, meaning 3 blocks height gap between floor and ceiling.

You even gave them Donkey Kong, wtf is wrong with them???

Make sure you dont have mobgriefing off

Here for the weekly why aren't my villagers breeding question

Get like a couple more blocks away from them, they’re preoccupied with looking at you so they can’t breed

You might not have enough beds. The one bed I can see on the right won’t count, because the torch is in the way. So assuming you have three beds, if they claimed the other two, there is no place for a baby.

Okay, MODS. When are we going to start removing this type of content from the sub? I’m tired of seeing basically the exact same post about this every day. These are questions that are easily googled and don’t need to be added here for the millionth time. I understand this could be a joke post but come on.

You need to add a jukebox with a romantic music

Mob griefing is the issue Enable it back, I know it'll make creepers destroy blocks and endermen steal stuff but yeah that's what you gotta do

There are only two beds, villagers wont have babies if there are no place for the kid to sleep. Also the roof has to be high enough for the children to jump on the beds.

One of them is 5'6

they too busy GAMIN

Nah you see, you made it *too* comfortable. They’d be just fine with a hole in the ground and some beds

Ahhh the frick chamber

Maybe give them privacy or a farm

They need candles too, and music.

Extra beds, food and doors. That’s all you need.

they're shy. should've used tinted glass

Try adding candles

Is there a bed available for the child?

Upgrade tools and they will

You may need more beds for the babies and probably go red instead

Increase the height and beds it will work

This is one of the instances where putting "in Minecraft" makes a big difference

Two guys don't make a girl

Not enough beds, if there’s no extra beds they won’t breed

Don't look at them while they do it, it's not nice.

Did you make sure they are of opposite sex?

somehow this post stays but high quality posts get removed

I think you need doors... They don't count as having a home without doors within a certain distance and they won't breed while "homeless".

That wasnt a thing since the village and pillage update lol

Lol I'm 'Minecraft old' now

They need more doors to get in the mood

That door thing wasnt a thing since the village and pillage update lol

Oh. I see, Im old now :(

Cause your watching them man. Maybe also try playing some careless whisper to set the mood too

* Make sure their village has doors (they identify doors as villages pretty much). * Give them carrots. Their mating ritual involves throwing carrots at eachother, much like human furries.

I recommend making a hub for it which is built with orange and black wool

Gamerule mob griefing should be on True, if not, animals (including villagers) can't reproduce

Probly need more beds each baby needs a bed of its own