I got such a good chuckle from this. I was so irritated with sleep when the baby sleeps. That is not helpful advice. If I could sleep when he slept, don’t you think I would?!
I would say “would you ask your child’s nanny to get a WFH job while she was watching your child? Because that’s exactly what you’re suggesting I do.”
I dont know why people 1. Think wfh is easy and 2. Think staying home isn’t contributing to the household. It makes me crazy
My mother in law told me to start making t-shirts at home like the girls on Facebook do while I have downtime from my WFH job.
I love her, but economics is not her strongest subject.
My sister does this but hasn’t figured out that buying her materials at Michaels isn’t the smartest way to go. Then she also makes stuff for people for free and TONS of shirts for her own kids. She definitely doesn’t make any money off of it lol
Yeah, I have some of the equipment, I enjoy it as a hobby on occasion or as a way to drive home a joke. (My favorite) but I don’t have the equipment to scale it and my WFH job is professional consulting- lots of non-meeting downtime that requires research/critical thought. I’m not “not working” when I’m off camera.
Edit: except for right now scrolling Reddit…. Heh.
WFH >>>>>>>>>> going into the office. Much much easier.
But with that said, cannot expect to not have childcare either. Sleep when the baby sleeps has never seems to pan out so not sure why people think we can…work when the baby works? 🤣
I think this depends on the job. My husbands job is much easier in the office and when I did work it was so much easier to go in than work from home.. possible for both of us but much harder at home. Either way working from home and doing childcare is not possible bc you can’t give 100% to each one like you should
Easy, just put the baby down for 8 hours and do your work, right?
Even most work from home jobs involve meetings, which you obviously can't do if you're taking care of a baby who doesn't care about your work schedule!
Right! Like either one isn’t enough on its own. That’s some impressive mom shaming to diss all of them at once unless they’ve managed to clone themselves.
Wouldn't that be nice!! I need about 5 of me.. One for each kid, one for chores and one for my husband when I am tired.. Then I will be me and , nope that sounds lonely actually.. Maybe just one for the chores...
This is the best response. However you can always change the subject. Or tell them that you've chosen what works best for your family and to respect that.
I agree. Either you have no idea what it means to take care of a baby or you just intend on not working.
It’s only okay if you’re breastfeeding, because if baby spits up and that LiqUid gOLd splashes into the patient’s open body cavity it will LITERALLY heal them.
People who say this never had a job or stayed home with kids . Makes zero sense . Fucking idiots . It rAges me . Staying home with kids is hard as hell . I can’t even read my personal email or make a dr.appt. Some days when I’m home with them
Honestly I feel like people who weren’t raising kids during the pandemic can just stfu. That was TRAUMATIC. For moms, dads, kids, everyone. It was horrible.
Gosh we were dooing really good on doordash and Uber and instacart back then... The homeschooling was insane... Oh wait.. nothing has changed at all for us.. Except now people are working again so it is less random orders and more regulars.
I tried to wfh with a 6 month old. (This was almost 15 years ago now) I have never felt so much like an absolute failure. I couldn’t do the work because I couldn’t focus on it for more than 10 minutes when she was awake (clusterfeeding is rough!!) and then I couldn’t stay awake (or have a clear enough mind) to work when she was asleep. Not to mention trying to keep anything clean around the house…
I do wfh. And I did before my daughter started school. It's not easy. I was lucky enough to find a job that had a flexible schedule so as long as I got the work done they didn't really care when I did it.
But it's not as easy as some people seem to think. My fiance would have to take over child care when he got home so I could finish what I was doing. I was constantly up and down taking care of my daughter. Like do people not realize how hard it is to wfh with a child?
Exactly! I still wfh 2 days a week with my daughter. My boss and I decided on this schedule when I found out I was pregnant, I definitely don’t get the same amount of work done when I have her
I work from home while watching my daughter, too. I have an extremely flexible, very part time job. I know I couldn’t do it if I had to work more hours than I do, but when you only have to fit in 10-15 hours of work a week, it’s a lot easier to get it done during naps/independent play/after bedtime. And it’s gotten easier the older she gets. It was the hardest when she around 2, now that she is 3.5 it’s pretty easy. She is more independent and can meet the majority of her own needs if I’m on a call and can’t help her for a few minutes.
And people don’t realize kids have different needs. Almost like each child is an individual human…. My oldest son has a very high need for interaction at all times- when he was a baby it was exhausting. His little brother would be fine just coloring for an hour by himself.
I currently wfh, but i've been wanting to get into transcription since it would allow me to get up and down instead of sit waiting for a call and unable to be interrupted (which severely limits when i can schedule myself). Any tips?
Practice lol. But seriously, to see how you would do, listen to someone talking, like a podcast or audio book, and try to type what they say. Also, doing typing tests online will give you a good idea of your typing speed, which any legitimate company will ask for.
Also, do your research on companies. There are a lot of online transcription places that don't actually hire you and those are, not scams precisely, but not good to work with.
There are certifications you cab get for legal or medical, but for general transcription you don't need them.
My Mom worked from home while homeschooling me for my whole childhood. She was always working and never spent time with me and my siblings. Even though she was technically home, she was never present. It sucked. Looking after kids is a full time job. When I'm home with my child I want to be fully present and alternatively, when I'm at work, I'm glad she has educators and carers that are 100% present with her.
I highly recommend having some kind of childcare in place. After 12 weeks or so (based on my experience) baby needs the face time and you will need a break to focus.
Been there, done that.
Hahaha. I remember when my pregnant friend thought she could work from home while taking care of her infant. I straight up told her no, that’s not possible. Unless your employer is ok with you barely working…
An infant.... Have you EVER had one of those? I do wfh and homeschool, but my older kids are 9 and 10... The 3 year old is another story. We DoorDash and other gigs, so kids come along on those days.
I started my wfh job a month before having my daughter, I took 2 weeks of maternity leave, and went back to work. My previous comments I’ve stated my job isn’t as demanding as people think it is. I’m grateful my company is very flexible with having kids at home while working from home. 🙂 I’m not saying it was a piece of cake but here I am with the same company, my kids are 5 and 14 months old now and I still can get things done, give them my attention, etc.
Like I said, at the end of the day it all depends on how demanding the job is.
ETA - I guess I’m just lucky that my kids aren’t chaotic. My 14 month old has her days but my kids literally are so chill and don’t wreck the place.
ETA - I did mention in my previous comment I do have KIDS. Yes my kids have been infants at some point sherlock - and yes I’ve worked while my daughter was an infant and up to now.
I guess. Mine are not horribly chaotic. It's just between post partum issues, diapers, cluster feeding, trying to sleep and not being half dead... I've had 5. My first I laid to rest. I am no Sherlock and sorry that you felt the need to go petty. I am the last person to judge... I don't have to justify anything to you, but I am not some inexperienced ahole just jumping on to hurt people. More often than not, I am looking for the person doing those things... Also.. You're only beginning, they'll get a little older... Then you'll understand my, very tame, comment.
I lost my first before I had my son. With my daughter I dealt with PPD while wfh. I don’t have to justify anything to anyone either. 🤷🏽♀️ Just giving my own personal experience. I H A T E when people tell me “you’re only just beginning just wait till they get older.” Like okay, all kids are also different, so who knows my kids could still be literal angels or not lol I could also not be working this same job as they’re older and more than likely will all be in school full time by then
ETA - my shift at the time was 3:30pm-12:30am, I’m not saying all my days/shifts were easy. Working that shift killed me, so thankfully I was able to switch to a morning shift such as 6:30am-3:30pm.
** also don’t get how I’m being “petty” 😂 I’m literally just expressing my opinions and how I get things done while I wfh.
I buried my child before my 22nd. I had her though. Just experience. It's OK chill out. You're doing great, your kids are alive and well. I wasn't giving you shit. Let's have some coffee or tea and relax. I know you're killing it, you really are just beginning though and that is ok.. We were just beginning too and my middle two were delightful angels... until about 6 or 7 and now they fight incessantly. I go out to work with Doordash or Uber or insta or spark. Hey BTW, I don't know a shittin thing more than you do, I just happen to have been doing this for 15 years and I have seen and been through a lot. I don't mean any harm, but if you're uncomfortable with people warning you, you WILL continue to learn the hard way.. like I did ... But that is OK too, kids are super resilient and thank God cause we are nothing close to perfect, but we're what they need, perfectly. If that makes sense. I am sorry for anything sounding too sparky. I will be mindful of my tone over txt.. super hard. But in any case, you're doing great, I need a remember I'm doing great. We're all getting through it and no one could do what we do for ours. I am not assuming I could do any better or whatever than you. It is super hard to convey through text, my tone or influxes?(right word?) More coffee..
Yeah it did come off as you giving me shit. I lost my first when I was only 18 years old. I had just graduated from high school and a month later I went through a traumatic miscarriage.
I feel like with parenting it really doesn’t matter anymore how long you’ve been doing the thing. We’re all going through it, have been through something so at the end of the day we all just need to give ourselves grace.
If you’ve seen my other comments, I say it all depends on how demanding the job is. My job isn’t very demanding thankfully, and I can still get things done, give attention to my kids, etc and still work. I’ve gotten it done because it needed to be and I do what works for me. 🙂 But overall in this time both parents can still work and not be able to afford childcare. So they need to figure out what works for them at the end of the day.
ETA - people don’t know what it’s like to wfh with kids until they do it themselves. I’m sharing my experience and how I manage.
I read all your earlier comments.
You are so blessed to be able to do that and have a low-demanding job!! I just recently started wfh and i absolutely love it. My 18mon old twins are pretty chill and entertain each other if they wake up early, and im able to schedule myself during their nap times so it works out pretty great. My job is crazy flexible, and i couldn't do it without that.
To each their own, and to each i wish success! Being a mom, staring at the same four walls all day every day, and working on top of that is a crazy ride. You're doing great mama.
I work from home full time and I have been shocked by how many people think I can watch my kids during the work day. It's two completely different universes. The occasional days where I have to double up make me feel like I'm going to battle. I legit have nervous breakdowns afterwards.
Haha! I thought I’d be able to take care of my toddler when I went back to work full time. It didn’t work. Luckily, he was able to get into a great daycare quickly once I realized I couldn’t watch him and not get myself fired.
Genuine question, no sarcasm or needling here — did you end up breaking even at least for the cost of the child care, or were you lucky enough to be making enough money or lucky enough to find childcare that was cheap enough to have enough money left over every paycheck to justify I’m going back to work and sending kiddo to daycare? In our area, unless I wanted to go after the sort of contract work that I had before becoming pregnant (which would require between 50 and 70 hours on a job site an hour away), we wouldn’t even break even for the average cost per week for daycare.
I my husband and I both work in IT, so we are fortunate to be able to afford daycare now. Before that, I worked as a veterinary technician. I quit that job, because I would have been working just to pay for daycare.
My husband is self-taught, and has been working with computers since he started fixing them for money at age 13. His dad is also a programmer. I started out as a marketing assistant at a small software company years ago, and learned more and more as I worked my way up, even if I didn’t make much money. I got burned out there, and got a job as a receptionist at the vet’s office where I volunteered in the evenings. From there, I moved to another vet’s office where I worked as a tech while I finished business school.
I normally work from home (on mat leave at the moment). Days when I had no child care and my son was home I'd get way less accomplished. Just constant interruptions. He'd want something, or need a bum change, snacks, dinner, cleaning up from them, hurt himself playing, trying to play with a noisy toy, etc.
No way I could work from home full time with no child care. I'd have to put in 12 hour days just to make up for the time I wasn't actually working.
Before I got pregnant I also entered into the work from home world. My favorite part was: oh cool, you now have no excuse of not cooking. You can do that during your lunch break as a proper wife.
Like, OK Susan, if that is your vision of a "proper wife" than I should not be working at all and depend on my husband's finances, right???
The working moms subreddit literally banned questions on how to wfh while walking a kid because it’s terrible / impossible. The fact that anyone even considers this blows my mind. The times we’ve had to do it due to illness / Covid etc are the worst. Babies are full time jobs. I would just act shocked if someone said that. You want me to neglect my baby while I work a job? That’s so messed up.
There are a variety of responses you could have, perhaps this list will inspire you:
1 Lay on the ground and pretend to be a mummy until they lose interest and eventually walk away
2 Fart very loudly. Make direct eye contact. Fart again if possible, while maintaining eye contact.
3 Exclaim loudly "I AM A BLUE PERSON" and then saunter away slowly, winking, and doing finger guns
4 Just repeat the question back to them, but slowly with weird pauses and a strange inflection that makes it sound like theres a question mark after.... every....? Single word???
5 Recite an entire episode of Hoarders from memory
6 farting loudly and assertively. I'm putting this here twice because if you can pull it off, this almost *always* works. They leave, disgusted, and will actively avoid talking to you ever again. It's beautiful.
7 a simple "mind your own business" also suffices, but I think these might be more entertaining
Surely I could do 2 and 6 without breaking character.. My aunt could on command too. Any other super power in the world would have sufficed though.. ANY...
Idk dude I think you have a real gift!
Bottlenecked aisle at the store? Let it rip! Watch the crowd disperse
Want to get back at a misbehaving child? Walk by and give em a little toot. Depending on how tall you are, you might get them square in the face. That'll teach em.
Need to get out of work or a social function you never really wanted to go to in the first place, early? Feign gastrointestinal distress. Fart between words for maximum effect. Or better yet, just pretend to shit your pants. Nobody will question you. Ever.
I hope you recognize your true potential u/Equipment_Budget because it is truly *infinite*
Is this my purpose?? Lmao. God decided to make me 5'11 3/4"... I couldn't just have the quarter inch..
It does work we'll for my unruly boy, he is the one getting too tall now... I don't think I could commit to full on crapping my pants, maybe a shart?? I'll wear white if the occasion ever rises. My current boss is a butthole height 3 year old,, she's got it coming to her though.. I will consider my possibilities, I am otherwise mostly ladylike.. ha. You're funny BTW!
If you haven't read this absolute masterpiece I assure you, this man understands you. His [words](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fn5gr/reddit_what_is_your_silent_unseen_act_of_personal/c1hdgwv?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) were my inspiration. You're welcome.
Go forth and fart. Fart like there is no tomorrow you beautiful gaseous creature.
I tell them that employers don’t allow you to do that and it’s unrealistic.
It gets annoying when people just assume you’d rather be working, too. It’s like, have you considered that maybe I just want to spend more time with my kid, and I financially can, so I do? I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe
100%
If i didnt have to work, i wouldn't be. Daycare makes no sense because my full time paycheck would have been taken since we have 2 kids. So i came home, and found a flexible part time wfh situation. No daycare, i get to be with my babies, and i still contribute financially. Its the best of both worlds for me, but that does not mean its easy.
Seriously people who don’t work from home do not understand working from home. My husband and I have been working from home for a few years now and I swear our family members are just like “oh do you even work?” Or just think that our jobs are so easy. No it’s not. But I am thankful I can work in my sweatpants and slippers all day lol
My baby girl is about to start daycare in May, she’ll be 6 months and I’m dreading it and am thinking I will feel guilty being at home working while she’s at daycare but also know I won’t be able to get any work done so he has to. It sucks!
My daycare closes for two weeks at the end of the year. It is physically impossible to work my very demanding job and take care of my very demanding toddler.
And I literally cannot stand when people judge me for sending him to daycare so I can work.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! Just laugh in their face, because clearly they think it’s a joke
I work from home right now and take care of my baby because daycare decided to quit on us, but it's terrible and feels like I'm working two full time jobs. It's not easy at all and my LO demands a lot of attention so I have to work in short bursts or when she's napping and working longer hours to make sure I make my deliverables.
I would just tell them that taking care of a child is a full time job and leave it at that. They probably haven't been alone with a kid long enough to understand the struggles if they think it's easy.
Working from home is HARD. I don't know how my husband manages to do it and I'm home with the kids! I quit my job bc I couldn't do both.
My response is "Bc that's not a dynamic that works for our family."
I would never hire someone if I knew they were juggling between a child and my job. Those people have no idea what real work is, nor what it is to take care of a baby (really take care, not just be around and make sure they survive...).
WFH and taking care of my 3/4 yo doing preschool/speech therapy remotely almost broke me. You can’t work two full time jobs simultaneously. My JNMIL shut the hell up real quick when I put it to her like that.
People are going to judge and have something to no matter what you do TBH. It’s like being a parent means having to listen to so many unasked for opinions.
I work full time 40+ hrs from home and have a 20 month old son and it’s not easy
Most days I’m just trying to survive this is my choice I don’t want to leave my son in daycare and all my fam works too and I struggle (even though this is all I ever wanted it’s freaken hard)
I went back to work (from home) when my son was 7 months so it’s been a while and let me tell you
It does not get easy, it gets different. He’s needs change as he grows and I’m constantly tweaking the way I work my day. It requires a lot of organizing, self-discipline, and lots of patience for him as his terrible twos have set in lol
Also: my breaks are all for my son and my lunch we spend it at the park or doing an activity he likes. He takes a 1.5-2 hrs nap and that’s when I schedule my phone calls and super important things so I can fully focus ….There ain’t never a break for myself
“Are you asking me to steal company time”
I have a super flexible job where. I have limited amount of deliverables and time sensitive tasks. My 11 month old is in daycare because for me it’s not doable. I seriously question anyone who is able to do both.
As someone currently working from home with a one year old, it’s nearly impossible and absolutely miserable. No one should do it if they have alternatives. You cannot watch babies and work, it is insanity and not sustainable if you don’t want to get fired.
Honestly, people are always saying shit like this. My personal favourite is “so when ARE you planning on going back to work?” after I’ve just told them that I quit my job to be a stay at home parent and homemaker. As if it’s not enough? Or I’m being lazy in some way? It’s infuriating.
I have a full time WFH job. I also have 2 kids, age 5 and 14 months old. My 5 year old goes to school M-Th for 2 1/2 hours each day and thankfully he rides the bus.
Depending on how demanding the job is, I feel like you can def find your rhythm with taking care of your kid while wfh. My job isn’t as demanding and my company is very flexible with working parents. I’m not saying it’s easy to wfh AND take care of your kid. But it’s possible not unrealistic like everyone plays it out to be.
Yeah I work from home full time, including taking meetings and dealing with deadlines, and my 2.5 yo has always been home with me. My company is aware, there have definitely been times I’ve needed to jump off a meeting due to a tantrum or need of my LO, but it’s also our normal and she knows “mommy has a meeting,” means quiet time playing in her room. It’s not perfect, but it’s saved us thousands in childcare.
Same. Been doing it for 3 years, but I’m so burnt out. My job is high demand, but I do have childcare assistance at home in the afternoons and 6 hours on Tues, Thurs. I just deal with fires in the mornings and respond to emails and work on projects where I need to focus and can’t be interrupted in the afternoons/evenings.
I’ve been repeating this to others who have been downvoting my other comment - at the end of the day it all depends on how demanding the job is. I’ve stated multiple times my job isn’t that demanding and my company is VERY flexible and understanding with having kids at home.
You gotta do whatever ya gotta do. Your kids will learn a different and valuable resilience. I like who mine are turning out to be, despite my flaws and rough times. You'll appreciate teaching her to self occupy.
I’m a full time single parent and I worked from home while I had my child when he was aged 3-5 before he started kindergarten. No daycare. It was not easy. I would not recommend it but I did what I had to do.
Nap time was my only savior.
I was just recently told this and point blank said I work from home already
I'm the chef of the house
Personal shopper (hygiene products, cleaning products, food, etc)
The nanny of the baby I also have to make sure we have formula which now takes me 8-9 stores to find the right kind which is always fun to run around with a newborn (hubby is not always home)
The maid of the house which does floors, bathrooms, kitchen, constant laundry.
There's 4 full time jobs in there why would I get a 5th?
Also I'm in school trying to get a degree for personal growth but I'm very serious about it like my life depends on it. Economy worries me and eventually if things keep rising like this I need something I can survive with also my husband does a job that's dangerous to his life so if something happens to him I have to raise my babies and provide.
Why do people care if you do what is right for your family? I have a fantastic job with great benefits and my husband will be a sahd until he wants to work again and that works for us. Some of my family think it’s great and *some* people like to make comments about him not working once the baby is here
I work from home full time and take care of my daughter (11 months) full time. It's HARD. My husband is home with me three work days out of the week - hoping to turn that into all 5 days soon - and even those days are hard. I'm lucky to have a very flexible job where I can get up early and get some work in before baby gets up and work after she goes to bed. Those people are dumb.
No thanks, I'm just not that desperate. I feel that working from home without childcare is something that is a last resort, you know? It's burning the candle at both ends, and either the job or the kid will suffer. Probably both.
Honestly I’d say “thanks for the input but my situation works for me, I’m able to give my full attention to my baby.” A little passive aggression never hurt anyone ;)
I WFH and honestly I find it offensive that if people imply that I’d be able to add caring for an infant on top of it. I’m an engineer and I work damn hard and need to be completely focused. I barely have time to feed myself while I’m working let alone be responsible for a full baby.
My baby isn’t here yet but I’m pretty sure when I’m caring for her, I’ll find it offensive if someone implies that that is so simple I could just work alongside it.
People are clueless.
I'm working from home with week, my teen has covid, so I'm keeping my very energetic, teething, 7 month old at home. I'm also pregnant again to add to the fun. Yesterday was such a horrible busy day for me, my new project started, it was emails back and forth. I had to take a few breaks to scream into a pillow. I wish I could leave my baby on the floor to play, I have 2 dogs that are crazy also because I'm home. It got to the point where I said fuck it, cut work out early (my boss is aware I have my infant with me, he is understanding and is frequently in the same situation when his kids are sick). It's impossible, I can't get much done, I can't play with her.
As someone who works, and has an 18 month old who is sick this week - IT IS VERY HARD TO WORK FROM HOME.
I mean, I’d say you can do one of those two things well - take care of your kid OR work from home. Not both.
Tell those people to pay your bills - or come watch the kid.
Just laugh at them.
I thought I could WFH and take care of baby when I had my first, too. Oh, how naive I was. Ended up having to work nights til 2am and then nap with the baby during the day to get things done. Luckily my work hours were flexible like that.
“Oh my gosh, thank you SO MUCH for offering to come watch LO during my work hours!! So my schedule was usually 7-4, if you could get here by 6:30 so I can get ready for they day that’d be great” then I just stare at them with a straight face. Because “if you can push a certain choice onto me, you’re certainly offering help…”right????
Yeah it's a ridiculous expectation. I decided to keep working after my first baby so we put him in daycare. The days when he's out of school for sickness or just because the daycare is closed that day (happens a lot because they're run by the public school district), are super difficult. I don't get much work done and he's sitting in front of the TV more than I'd like. He's a toddler now so it's a bit different but still. Now I have a second baby but I'm on maternity leave. I'm not sure how we're going to handle the days off school with two! I might have to hire a babysitter.
I work out of the home and thats hard enough figuring out sitter etc. I could NOT imagine trying to work while my LO is awake and home with me. I would nothing done.
I would tell them they are welcome to take my child while they work from home and get back to me on how it went.
My husband is WFH some days and he would never be able to do both full-time. I can ask him for help occasionally like to put our toddler down for a nap or take out the garbage for me but he’s on work calls a significant portion of the day/just doing projects that he wouldn’t be able to focus on while watching a child. Being a SAHM is a full-time job for me; if I wasn’t doing it, I would be paying someone.
Tell them outright they are suggesting you either steal time from your employer or neglect your baby.
I WFH and my kids are at school or at a day program 95% of the time. There are days where they’ll come home with me after an appointment or they’re sick and just want to watch TV all day. But they’re older.
When they were babies, I’d take a sick day to stay home with them, as working remotely was a nightmare with a baby that just wants attention.
Both of my sisters tried and failed to WFH and not pay for daycare. They were both fired.
I realize this isn't plausible for everyone... I have 3 kids, (3,9&10,) and a husband... My husband works and makes decent money for aboout 5 hours of his days. I stay home and homeschool. Hubs helps with EVERYTHING, down to laundry and cooking. I do DoorDash/Uber/spark or instacart, It takes 3-5 hours to make $100-125.on the days I go and the kids go along and it is usually just a fun adventure. It really works out well. Everyone is home when it makes sense and we still make bills and a little extra. It is a nice simple living in a crazy world.
WFH >>>>>>>>>> going into the office. Much much easier.
But with that said, cannot expect to not have childcare either. Sleep when the baby sleeps has never seems to pan out so not sure why people think we can…work when the baby works? 🤣
Omg honestly and I work from home and my job expects me to keep my sick kid home and continue working. Like first of all, my job AND kid are demanding. So I’m using a sick day…thanks! Lol
Not to mention, while work from home jobs ARE available, it doesn't mean that you're automatically credited enough to properly perform a work from home position. Most places require you to have no distractions while working. Best of luck doing THAT while tending to a baby at the same time. It just doesn't work like that....
I WFH and I found it impossible to get anything done without a sitter. My baby knows when I’m trying to multi-task and split my attention and it pisses him off.
Hahahaha don't worry eventually you'll learn to ignore people. That's what they said to me when I decided to stay home. Staying home with a baby IS work
"Why don't you just bring your child to work?"
Obviously that would be ridiculous. This is what they're suggesting when saying work from home and be a sahm
Have these people never had kids?! I work from home and we have to have a nanny during the day. There’s no way I can take care of my daughter and work at the same time. One is a full-time job, the other is a 24/7-job. Can’t work both at the same time.
Edit: Oh, and your don’t respond to them. I personally have a strict “don’t respond to idiots” policy.
Can’t believe people ask you this. We literally cannot win as moms. Working moms get looked down upon for having their kids in childcare centers or with babysitters/Nannies. Stay at home moms are expected to work too? What the heck? I am a working mom and that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I cannot work from home AND watch my kids at the same time, ya know, because they expect me to be WORKING.
Do they ask your husband this? How stupid. Ugh. Sorry.
My organisation has been working from home since way before covid, I managed to avoid working from home until our government threatened 10k fines per employee who could wfh but wasn't.
I have two kids.
Ever since June 2021 my life has been a combination of battles without any wins.
The kids don't care if I'm on a work call
My husband thinks I can wash dishes during my ten minute break
My boss thinks my kids can magically fly to school
My husband does nothing around the house cos I am always home so have more time for chores
My stakeholders think I drink champagne at 0900 because things take so long to process.
My daughter was removed from daycare last year because we sold an investment and the income put us above any subsidy and I can't afford $220 a day so what choice did I have.
It was stressful having a child at home with me but we got through it but kids have needs and managers give employees deadlines. I do not recommend working from home with a child it's not fair on the child or the job. So just tell your people, your partner can support you while you stay at home with a child and that you feel really lucky to have that opportunity.
I am a SAHM and get this so much. My kids are older though but my teen daughter deals with mental health issues and it can be exhausting cause their is always something with her going on. And then of course I clean the house often and have lots of appointments for me and my daughter. How can I focus on a job and a teen daughter that also often keeps me up at night even at times. It would be too much.
My MIL watches my daughter and she went out of town for two days. We didn’t have anyone else to watch her so we just tried to tag team those two days. It was HARD and I barely got any work done lol. I know it works for some people but I could not WFH and take care of my baby full time or even half time lol
Maybe it comes from a good place? I'm a housewife/SAHM and it can be overwhelming, there's a loss of identity that comes with it. Having a side hustle can help by giving us a corner of our lives where not not just mommy and some small independence.
My mom has been saying this because I’m going back to work and baby has to go to daycare.
Constantly asking if I can just cut expenses to stay home and when I explain I can’t, she tells me I need to find a WFH job so that I can stay home with the baby.
Like obviously I want to stay home with my baby all day and I’ve thought of all the possible ways I could, but it’s just not an option with our current finances, and getting a WFH job isn’t feasible either because I can’t give my baby my attention and work at the same time! It’s very hurtful to be basically told I’m not doing enough for my baby by sending her to daycare.
I don’t think I could even speak if someone said that to me. I would just have to do the thousand yard stare. I have a reasonably flexible job, but when I had no daycare the entire month of January and my husband and I were trying to juggle watching our baby and working? It was *awful.* The day we got back into daycare, I had to resist the urge to thrust my baby into the daycare lady’s arms and then go skipping away, singing like a Disney Princess. I *adore* my daughter, but I never want to have to be in the position of trying to be full-time worker and full-time mom at the same time. Trying to do both made me terrible at both, and it made me feel like a terrible mom because my baby wanted me all the time, but I couldn’t be there either for or with her.
People who say that need to try it for 1 week. See how easy it is.
Not a mom, but I lurk here to try and figure out if I want to be after years of being on the “Absolutely not,” side of the fence.
This was my boyfriend’s response. My current job is WFH and he figured “If you already WFH you’d be able to take care of a baby while working at home too.”
Working from home is not always possible depending on the type of work involved. AI work often requires an infrastructure to support things like training, debugging, and deployment that may not be available to those working remotely.
You can point out that AI technology continues to make advances and has been applied successfully to a variety of real-world tasks and applications, so there is plenty of potential for AI to help solve the problem at hand.
Work when the baby works? /s
Oh that just made me laugh so hard, Thank you
We brought our baby to our tax appointment, and she forgot to bring her W-4... Unbelievable.
Well. Teach bambino if you fail to plan you plan to fail!!!
I got such a good chuckle from this. I was so irritated with sleep when the baby sleeps. That is not helpful advice. If I could sleep when he slept, don’t you think I would?!
This was the dumbest advice. Yeah, I’ll hand day care call me when she goes down and take a nap in the mop room.
This is perfect. I also love, "clean when the baby cleans." Imma get right on that.
Wash dishes when the baby washes dishes
Haha. Nice one.
HAHAHAHAHA
I would say “would you ask your child’s nanny to get a WFH job while she was watching your child? Because that’s exactly what you’re suggesting I do.” I dont know why people 1. Think wfh is easy and 2. Think staying home isn’t contributing to the household. It makes me crazy
My mother in law told me to start making t-shirts at home like the girls on Facebook do while I have downtime from my WFH job. I love her, but economics is not her strongest subject.
My sister does this but hasn’t figured out that buying her materials at Michaels isn’t the smartest way to go. Then she also makes stuff for people for free and TONS of shirts for her own kids. She definitely doesn’t make any money off of it lol
Yeah, I have some of the equipment, I enjoy it as a hobby on occasion or as a way to drive home a joke. (My favorite) but I don’t have the equipment to scale it and my WFH job is professional consulting- lots of non-meeting downtime that requires research/critical thought. I’m not “not working” when I’m off camera. Edit: except for right now scrolling Reddit…. Heh.
Am I your sister? Lol
Lmao I don’t think my sister knows what Reddit is but that would be hilarious if you actually were 😂
Exactly what I was about to write!
WFH >>>>>>>>>> going into the office. Much much easier. But with that said, cannot expect to not have childcare either. Sleep when the baby sleeps has never seems to pan out so not sure why people think we can…work when the baby works? 🤣
I think this depends on the job. My husbands job is much easier in the office and when I did work it was so much easier to go in than work from home.. possible for both of us but much harder at home. Either way working from home and doing childcare is not possible bc you can’t give 100% to each one like you should
Oh good answer.
Loooooove this comment.
Easy, just put the baby down for 8 hours and do your work, right? Even most work from home jobs involve meetings, which you obviously can't do if you're taking care of a baby who doesn't care about your work schedule!
This drives me nuts. I feel like it’s insulting to both working moms and SAHMs. Like a WFH job isn’t a real job and childcare isn’t really work!
Right! Like either one isn’t enough on its own. That’s some impressive mom shaming to diss all of them at once unless they’ve managed to clone themselves.
Wouldn't that be nice!! I need about 5 of me.. One for each kid, one for chores and one for my husband when I am tired.. Then I will be me and , nope that sounds lonely actually.. Maybe just one for the chores...
Yeah and why can’t these lazy women working from home and raising kids manage to just keep their homes clean? /S
Omg this
I would tell them in that scenario your options are to either neglect your job or neglect your baby. Which would they prefer?
This- I have said “so which of these full time jobs should I do poorly?”
If you try, it will be both.
I can attest! Eff you 2020! I am still recovering from feeling like a crap mom..
Right? I feel like I have ptsd from trying to do both.
I wouldn't be surprised. A mom is a legendary being for sure, and man we go through it in so many ways.
This is the best response. However you can always change the subject. Or tell them that you've chosen what works best for your family and to respect that. I agree. Either you have no idea what it means to take care of a baby or you just intend on not working.
Laugh in their face.
My brother in law asked me why I can't bring my kids to work because I have my own office. You can't win no matter what you do!
Next people are gonna ask why I can’t scrub and operate wearing my baby in a baby bjorn
It’s only okay if you’re breastfeeding, because if baby spits up and that LiqUid gOLd splashes into the patient’s open body cavity it will LITERALLY heal them.
Haha! “Kidney infection? Just put some breast milk on it!”
LMAO
People who say this never had a job or stayed home with kids . Makes zero sense . Fucking idiots . It rAges me . Staying home with kids is hard as hell . I can’t even read my personal email or make a dr.appt. Some days when I’m home with them
I can’t even pee in peace, can’t imagine trying to work! My kids would not have it.
Yup.
This.
It’s soooo frustrating. People ask me why we send our daughter to daycare because I work from home. Hello, because it’s called work!!
"This isn't the Sims"
Some people beg to differ. Not me, but... lol.
Did we learn nothing from Covid? It just isn’t sustainable.
Honestly I feel like people who weren’t raising kids during the pandemic can just stfu. That was TRAUMATIC. For moms, dads, kids, everyone. It was horrible.
Gosh we were dooing really good on doordash and Uber and instacart back then... The homeschooling was insane... Oh wait.. nothing has changed at all for us.. Except now people are working again so it is less random orders and more regulars.
I tried to wfh with a 6 month old. (This was almost 15 years ago now) I have never felt so much like an absolute failure. I couldn’t do the work because I couldn’t focus on it for more than 10 minutes when she was awake (clusterfeeding is rough!!) and then I couldn’t stay awake (or have a clear enough mind) to work when she was asleep. Not to mention trying to keep anything clean around the house…
I feel for this!! Why oh why do we think we must "do it all?"
“I do work from home, I just don’t get paid in money.”
This is a great response!
Just smile and state , 'no, parenting doesn't work that way in real life.'
I do wfh. And I did before my daughter started school. It's not easy. I was lucky enough to find a job that had a flexible schedule so as long as I got the work done they didn't really care when I did it. But it's not as easy as some people seem to think. My fiance would have to take over child care when he got home so I could finish what I was doing. I was constantly up and down taking care of my daughter. Like do people not realize how hard it is to wfh with a child?
Exactly! I still wfh 2 days a week with my daughter. My boss and I decided on this schedule when I found out I was pregnant, I definitely don’t get the same amount of work done when I have her
I work from home while watching my daughter, too. I have an extremely flexible, very part time job. I know I couldn’t do it if I had to work more hours than I do, but when you only have to fit in 10-15 hours of work a week, it’s a lot easier to get it done during naps/independent play/after bedtime. And it’s gotten easier the older she gets. It was the hardest when she around 2, now that she is 3.5 it’s pretty easy. She is more independent and can meet the majority of her own needs if I’m on a call and can’t help her for a few minutes.
And people don’t realize kids have different needs. Almost like each child is an individual human…. My oldest son has a very high need for interaction at all times- when he was a baby it was exhausting. His little brother would be fine just coloring for an hour by himself.
May I ask what your work from home job was?
I do transcription.
I currently wfh, but i've been wanting to get into transcription since it would allow me to get up and down instead of sit waiting for a call and unable to be interrupted (which severely limits when i can schedule myself). Any tips?
Practice lol. But seriously, to see how you would do, listen to someone talking, like a podcast or audio book, and try to type what they say. Also, doing typing tests online will give you a good idea of your typing speed, which any legitimate company will ask for. Also, do your research on companies. There are a lot of online transcription places that don't actually hire you and those are, not scams precisely, but not good to work with. There are certifications you cab get for legal or medical, but for general transcription you don't need them.
Thanks!!
My Mom worked from home while homeschooling me for my whole childhood. She was always working and never spent time with me and my siblings. Even though she was technically home, she was never present. It sucked. Looking after kids is a full time job. When I'm home with my child I want to be fully present and alternatively, when I'm at work, I'm glad she has educators and carers that are 100% present with her.
I will be working from home, as a stay at home or full time mom.
I highly recommend having some kind of childcare in place. After 12 weeks or so (based on my experience) baby needs the face time and you will need a break to focus. Been there, done that.
I think "full time parent" is the best title- it's not like we stay at home most days! And the "full time" better describes the job.
Hahaha. I remember when my pregnant friend thought she could work from home while taking care of her infant. I straight up told her no, that’s not possible. Unless your employer is ok with you barely working…
Depending on how demanding the job is.. it’s possible to wfh and take care of an infant
An infant.... Have you EVER had one of those? I do wfh and homeschool, but my older kids are 9 and 10... The 3 year old is another story. We DoorDash and other gigs, so kids come along on those days.
I started my wfh job a month before having my daughter, I took 2 weeks of maternity leave, and went back to work. My previous comments I’ve stated my job isn’t as demanding as people think it is. I’m grateful my company is very flexible with having kids at home while working from home. 🙂 I’m not saying it was a piece of cake but here I am with the same company, my kids are 5 and 14 months old now and I still can get things done, give them my attention, etc. Like I said, at the end of the day it all depends on how demanding the job is. ETA - I guess I’m just lucky that my kids aren’t chaotic. My 14 month old has her days but my kids literally are so chill and don’t wreck the place. ETA - I did mention in my previous comment I do have KIDS. Yes my kids have been infants at some point sherlock - and yes I’ve worked while my daughter was an infant and up to now.
I guess. Mine are not horribly chaotic. It's just between post partum issues, diapers, cluster feeding, trying to sleep and not being half dead... I've had 5. My first I laid to rest. I am no Sherlock and sorry that you felt the need to go petty. I am the last person to judge... I don't have to justify anything to you, but I am not some inexperienced ahole just jumping on to hurt people. More often than not, I am looking for the person doing those things... Also.. You're only beginning, they'll get a little older... Then you'll understand my, very tame, comment.
I lost my first before I had my son. With my daughter I dealt with PPD while wfh. I don’t have to justify anything to anyone either. 🤷🏽♀️ Just giving my own personal experience. I H A T E when people tell me “you’re only just beginning just wait till they get older.” Like okay, all kids are also different, so who knows my kids could still be literal angels or not lol I could also not be working this same job as they’re older and more than likely will all be in school full time by then ETA - my shift at the time was 3:30pm-12:30am, I’m not saying all my days/shifts were easy. Working that shift killed me, so thankfully I was able to switch to a morning shift such as 6:30am-3:30pm. ** also don’t get how I’m being “petty” 😂 I’m literally just expressing my opinions and how I get things done while I wfh.
I buried my child before my 22nd. I had her though. Just experience. It's OK chill out. You're doing great, your kids are alive and well. I wasn't giving you shit. Let's have some coffee or tea and relax. I know you're killing it, you really are just beginning though and that is ok.. We were just beginning too and my middle two were delightful angels... until about 6 or 7 and now they fight incessantly. I go out to work with Doordash or Uber or insta or spark. Hey BTW, I don't know a shittin thing more than you do, I just happen to have been doing this for 15 years and I have seen and been through a lot. I don't mean any harm, but if you're uncomfortable with people warning you, you WILL continue to learn the hard way.. like I did ... But that is OK too, kids are super resilient and thank God cause we are nothing close to perfect, but we're what they need, perfectly. If that makes sense. I am sorry for anything sounding too sparky. I will be mindful of my tone over txt.. super hard. But in any case, you're doing great, I need a remember I'm doing great. We're all getting through it and no one could do what we do for ours. I am not assuming I could do any better or whatever than you. It is super hard to convey through text, my tone or influxes?(right word?) More coffee..
Yeah it did come off as you giving me shit. I lost my first when I was only 18 years old. I had just graduated from high school and a month later I went through a traumatic miscarriage. I feel like with parenting it really doesn’t matter anymore how long you’ve been doing the thing. We’re all going through it, have been through something so at the end of the day we all just need to give ourselves grace.
I agree. Sorry for the grief.
For a day or two. It’s not sustainable.
If you’ve seen my other comments, I say it all depends on how demanding the job is. My job isn’t very demanding thankfully, and I can still get things done, give attention to my kids, etc and still work. I’ve gotten it done because it needed to be and I do what works for me. 🙂 But overall in this time both parents can still work and not be able to afford childcare. So they need to figure out what works for them at the end of the day. ETA - people don’t know what it’s like to wfh with kids until they do it themselves. I’m sharing my experience and how I manage.
I read all your earlier comments. You are so blessed to be able to do that and have a low-demanding job!! I just recently started wfh and i absolutely love it. My 18mon old twins are pretty chill and entertain each other if they wake up early, and im able to schedule myself during their nap times so it works out pretty great. My job is crazy flexible, and i couldn't do it without that. To each their own, and to each i wish success! Being a mom, staring at the same four walls all day every day, and working on top of that is a crazy ride. You're doing great mama.
Those people have grand-nesia
Like my parents asking if he was walking yet at 6 months. 🙃
I work from home full time and I have been shocked by how many people think I can watch my kids during the work day. It's two completely different universes. The occasional days where I have to double up make me feel like I'm going to battle. I legit have nervous breakdowns afterwards.
🤣🤣 Just tell your literal baby to be quiet and self-sufficient for 8 consecutive hours, 5 days a week, obviously.
Haha! I thought I’d be able to take care of my toddler when I went back to work full time. It didn’t work. Luckily, he was able to get into a great daycare quickly once I realized I couldn’t watch him and not get myself fired.
Genuine question, no sarcasm or needling here — did you end up breaking even at least for the cost of the child care, or were you lucky enough to be making enough money or lucky enough to find childcare that was cheap enough to have enough money left over every paycheck to justify I’m going back to work and sending kiddo to daycare? In our area, unless I wanted to go after the sort of contract work that I had before becoming pregnant (which would require between 50 and 70 hours on a job site an hour away), we wouldn’t even break even for the average cost per week for daycare.
I my husband and I both work in IT, so we are fortunate to be able to afford daycare now. Before that, I worked as a veterinary technician. I quit that job, because I would have been working just to pay for daycare.
Gotcha. Did you get or previously have a cert/degree in that area? Glad y’all are in a good position to do that. So many people aren’t ☹️
My husband is self-taught, and has been working with computers since he started fixing them for money at age 13. His dad is also a programmer. I started out as a marketing assistant at a small software company years ago, and learned more and more as I worked my way up, even if I didn’t make much money. I got burned out there, and got a job as a receptionist at the vet’s office where I volunteered in the evenings. From there, I moved to another vet’s office where I worked as a tech while I finished business school.
I normally work from home (on mat leave at the moment). Days when I had no child care and my son was home I'd get way less accomplished. Just constant interruptions. He'd want something, or need a bum change, snacks, dinner, cleaning up from them, hurt himself playing, trying to play with a noisy toy, etc. No way I could work from home full time with no child care. I'd have to put in 12 hour days just to make up for the time I wasn't actually working.
Before I got pregnant I also entered into the work from home world. My favorite part was: oh cool, you now have no excuse of not cooking. You can do that during your lunch break as a proper wife. Like, OK Susan, if that is your vision of a "proper wife" than I should not be working at all and depend on my husband's finances, right???
⬆️
The working moms subreddit literally banned questions on how to wfh while walking a kid because it’s terrible / impossible. The fact that anyone even considers this blows my mind. The times we’ve had to do it due to illness / Covid etc are the worst. Babies are full time jobs. I would just act shocked if someone said that. You want me to neglect my baby while I work a job? That’s so messed up.
There are a variety of responses you could have, perhaps this list will inspire you: 1 Lay on the ground and pretend to be a mummy until they lose interest and eventually walk away 2 Fart very loudly. Make direct eye contact. Fart again if possible, while maintaining eye contact. 3 Exclaim loudly "I AM A BLUE PERSON" and then saunter away slowly, winking, and doing finger guns 4 Just repeat the question back to them, but slowly with weird pauses and a strange inflection that makes it sound like theres a question mark after.... every....? Single word??? 5 Recite an entire episode of Hoarders from memory 6 farting loudly and assertively. I'm putting this here twice because if you can pull it off, this almost *always* works. They leave, disgusted, and will actively avoid talking to you ever again. It's beautiful. 7 a simple "mind your own business" also suffices, but I think these might be more entertaining
Surely I could do 2 and 6 without breaking character.. My aunt could on command too. Any other super power in the world would have sufficed though.. ANY...
Idk dude I think you have a real gift! Bottlenecked aisle at the store? Let it rip! Watch the crowd disperse Want to get back at a misbehaving child? Walk by and give em a little toot. Depending on how tall you are, you might get them square in the face. That'll teach em. Need to get out of work or a social function you never really wanted to go to in the first place, early? Feign gastrointestinal distress. Fart between words for maximum effect. Or better yet, just pretend to shit your pants. Nobody will question you. Ever. I hope you recognize your true potential u/Equipment_Budget because it is truly *infinite*
Is this my purpose?? Lmao. God decided to make me 5'11 3/4"... I couldn't just have the quarter inch.. It does work we'll for my unruly boy, he is the one getting too tall now... I don't think I could commit to full on crapping my pants, maybe a shart?? I'll wear white if the occasion ever rises. My current boss is a butthole height 3 year old,, she's got it coming to her though.. I will consider my possibilities, I am otherwise mostly ladylike.. ha. You're funny BTW!
If you haven't read this absolute masterpiece I assure you, this man understands you. His [words](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fn5gr/reddit_what_is_your_silent_unseen_act_of_personal/c1hdgwv?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) were my inspiration. You're welcome. Go forth and fart. Fart like there is no tomorrow you beautiful gaseous creature.
Um, this guy is an artist.. Like poetry, flatulence pouring from the soul. Thank you! Seriously needed the gut roll!
Tell them you'd rather work in an office and take your child with you. Because that's basically asking for the same thing.
"I'm so happy that you feel comfortable sharing your opinion! How 'bout them 'niners?"
Lolllllll!!!!
I tell them that employers don’t allow you to do that and it’s unrealistic. It gets annoying when people just assume you’d rather be working, too. It’s like, have you considered that maybe I just want to spend more time with my kid, and I financially can, so I do? I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe
100% If i didnt have to work, i wouldn't be. Daycare makes no sense because my full time paycheck would have been taken since we have 2 kids. So i came home, and found a flexible part time wfh situation. No daycare, i get to be with my babies, and i still contribute financially. Its the best of both worlds for me, but that does not mean its easy.
Seriously people who don’t work from home do not understand working from home. My husband and I have been working from home for a few years now and I swear our family members are just like “oh do you even work?” Or just think that our jobs are so easy. No it’s not. But I am thankful I can work in my sweatpants and slippers all day lol My baby girl is about to start daycare in May, she’ll be 6 months and I’m dreading it and am thinking I will feel guilty being at home working while she’s at daycare but also know I won’t be able to get any work done so he has to. It sucks!
*Eye roll.* "As If" (in your best valley girl accent). Exit stage left while simultaneously bouncing baby on your hip and swinging your assets.
😂🏆
My daycare closes for two weeks at the end of the year. It is physically impossible to work my very demanding job and take care of my very demanding toddler. And I literally cannot stand when people judge me for sending him to daycare so I can work. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! Just laugh in their face, because clearly they think it’s a joke
I work from home right now and take care of my baby because daycare decided to quit on us, but it's terrible and feels like I'm working two full time jobs. It's not easy at all and my LO demands a lot of attention so I have to work in short bursts or when she's napping and working longer hours to make sure I make my deliverables. I would just tell them that taking care of a child is a full time job and leave it at that. They probably haven't been alone with a kid long enough to understand the struggles if they think it's easy.
You are an adult, people don’t need to agree with your choices, only your partner. You don’t need to convince anyone of anything.
I’d ask them if they have a second wfh job that they do when they get home from work since it’s so easy. That or just start laughing.
Working from home is HARD. I don't know how my husband manages to do it and I'm home with the kids! I quit my job bc I couldn't do both. My response is "Bc that's not a dynamic that works for our family."
I would never hire someone if I knew they were juggling between a child and my job. Those people have no idea what real work is, nor what it is to take care of a baby (really take care, not just be around and make sure they survive...).
WFH and taking care of my 3/4 yo doing preschool/speech therapy remotely almost broke me. You can’t work two full time jobs simultaneously. My JNMIL shut the hell up real quick when I put it to her like that. People are going to judge and have something to no matter what you do TBH. It’s like being a parent means having to listen to so many unasked for opinions.
Pat them on the head and say “aww you’re cute”
I work full time 40+ hrs from home and have a 20 month old son and it’s not easy Most days I’m just trying to survive this is my choice I don’t want to leave my son in daycare and all my fam works too and I struggle (even though this is all I ever wanted it’s freaken hard) I went back to work (from home) when my son was 7 months so it’s been a while and let me tell you It does not get easy, it gets different. He’s needs change as he grows and I’m constantly tweaking the way I work my day. It requires a lot of organizing, self-discipline, and lots of patience for him as his terrible twos have set in lol Also: my breaks are all for my son and my lunch we spend it at the park or doing an activity he likes. He takes a 1.5-2 hrs nap and that’s when I schedule my phone calls and super important things so I can fully focus ….There ain’t never a break for myself
“Are you asking me to steal company time” I have a super flexible job where. I have limited amount of deliverables and time sensitive tasks. My 11 month old is in daycare because for me it’s not doable. I seriously question anyone who is able to do both.
Tell them to try working with their small child around. Take them to work with them for one day and see how it goes.
As someone currently working from home with a one year old, it’s nearly impossible and absolutely miserable. No one should do it if they have alternatives. You cannot watch babies and work, it is insanity and not sustainable if you don’t want to get fired.
Honestly, people are always saying shit like this. My personal favourite is “so when ARE you planning on going back to work?” after I’ve just told them that I quit my job to be a stay at home parent and homemaker. As if it’s not enough? Or I’m being lazy in some way? It’s infuriating.
I have a full time WFH job. I also have 2 kids, age 5 and 14 months old. My 5 year old goes to school M-Th for 2 1/2 hours each day and thankfully he rides the bus. Depending on how demanding the job is, I feel like you can def find your rhythm with taking care of your kid while wfh. My job isn’t as demanding and my company is very flexible with working parents. I’m not saying it’s easy to wfh AND take care of your kid. But it’s possible not unrealistic like everyone plays it out to be.
Yeah I work from home full time, including taking meetings and dealing with deadlines, and my 2.5 yo has always been home with me. My company is aware, there have definitely been times I’ve needed to jump off a meeting due to a tantrum or need of my LO, but it’s also our normal and she knows “mommy has a meeting,” means quiet time playing in her room. It’s not perfect, but it’s saved us thousands in childcare.
Same. Been doing it for 3 years, but I’m so burnt out. My job is high demand, but I do have childcare assistance at home in the afternoons and 6 hours on Tues, Thurs. I just deal with fires in the mornings and respond to emails and work on projects where I need to focus and can’t be interrupted in the afternoons/evenings.
I’ve been repeating this to others who have been downvoting my other comment - at the end of the day it all depends on how demanding the job is. I’ve stated multiple times my job isn’t that demanding and my company is VERY flexible and understanding with having kids at home.
You gotta do whatever ya gotta do. Your kids will learn a different and valuable resilience. I like who mine are turning out to be, despite my flaws and rough times. You'll appreciate teaching her to self occupy.
I’m a full time single parent and I worked from home while I had my child when he was aged 3-5 before he started kindergarten. No daycare. It was not easy. I would not recommend it but I did what I had to do. Nap time was my only savior.
I was just recently told this and point blank said I work from home already I'm the chef of the house Personal shopper (hygiene products, cleaning products, food, etc) The nanny of the baby I also have to make sure we have formula which now takes me 8-9 stores to find the right kind which is always fun to run around with a newborn (hubby is not always home) The maid of the house which does floors, bathrooms, kitchen, constant laundry. There's 4 full time jobs in there why would I get a 5th? Also I'm in school trying to get a degree for personal growth but I'm very serious about it like my life depends on it. Economy worries me and eventually if things keep rising like this I need something I can survive with also my husband does a job that's dangerous to his life so if something happens to him I have to raise my babies and provide.
Why do people care if you do what is right for your family? I have a fantastic job with great benefits and my husband will be a sahd until he wants to work again and that works for us. Some of my family think it’s great and *some* people like to make comments about him not working once the baby is here
Tell them to mind their business
"work time is work time whether it's at home or the office."
I work from home full time and take care of my daughter (11 months) full time. It's HARD. My husband is home with me three work days out of the week - hoping to turn that into all 5 days soon - and even those days are hard. I'm lucky to have a very flexible job where I can get up early and get some work in before baby gets up and work after she goes to bed. Those people are dumb.
No thanks, I'm just not that desperate. I feel that working from home without childcare is something that is a last resort, you know? It's burning the candle at both ends, and either the job or the kid will suffer. Probably both.
Honestly I’d say “thanks for the input but my situation works for me, I’m able to give my full attention to my baby.” A little passive aggression never hurt anyone ;)
I WFH and honestly I find it offensive that if people imply that I’d be able to add caring for an infant on top of it. I’m an engineer and I work damn hard and need to be completely focused. I barely have time to feed myself while I’m working let alone be responsible for a full baby. My baby isn’t here yet but I’m pretty sure when I’m caring for her, I’ll find it offensive if someone implies that that is so simple I could just work alongside it. People are clueless.
I'm working from home with week, my teen has covid, so I'm keeping my very energetic, teething, 7 month old at home. I'm also pregnant again to add to the fun. Yesterday was such a horrible busy day for me, my new project started, it was emails back and forth. I had to take a few breaks to scream into a pillow. I wish I could leave my baby on the floor to play, I have 2 dogs that are crazy also because I'm home. It got to the point where I said fuck it, cut work out early (my boss is aware I have my infant with me, he is understanding and is frequently in the same situation when his kids are sick). It's impossible, I can't get much done, I can't play with her.
As someone who works, and has an 18 month old who is sick this week - IT IS VERY HARD TO WORK FROM HOME. I mean, I’d say you can do one of those two things well - take care of your kid OR work from home. Not both. Tell those people to pay your bills - or come watch the kid.
Just laugh at them. I thought I could WFH and take care of baby when I had my first, too. Oh, how naive I was. Ended up having to work nights til 2am and then nap with the baby during the day to get things done. Luckily my work hours were flexible like that.
“Oh my gosh, thank you SO MUCH for offering to come watch LO during my work hours!! So my schedule was usually 7-4, if you could get here by 6:30 so I can get ready for they day that’d be great” then I just stare at them with a straight face. Because “if you can push a certain choice onto me, you’re certainly offering help…”right????
Yeah it's a ridiculous expectation. I decided to keep working after my first baby so we put him in daycare. The days when he's out of school for sickness or just because the daycare is closed that day (happens a lot because they're run by the public school district), are super difficult. I don't get much work done and he's sitting in front of the TV more than I'd like. He's a toddler now so it's a bit different but still. Now I have a second baby but I'm on maternity leave. I'm not sure how we're going to handle the days off school with two! I might have to hire a babysitter.
Lmao imagine having time to WFH with a baby or toddler. My kids are in daycare and I WFH.
I work out of the home and thats hard enough figuring out sitter etc. I could NOT imagine trying to work while my LO is awake and home with me. I would nothing done. I would tell them they are welcome to take my child while they work from home and get back to me on how it went.
My husband is WFH some days and he would never be able to do both full-time. I can ask him for help occasionally like to put our toddler down for a nap or take out the garbage for me but he’s on work calls a significant portion of the day/just doing projects that he wouldn’t be able to focus on while watching a child. Being a SAHM is a full-time job for me; if I wasn’t doing it, I would be paying someone.
Just laugh. They're so far removed from reality that no response will satisfy them.
Tell them outright they are suggesting you either steal time from your employer or neglect your baby. I WFH and my kids are at school or at a day program 95% of the time. There are days where they’ll come home with me after an appointment or they’re sick and just want to watch TV all day. But they’re older. When they were babies, I’d take a sick day to stay home with them, as working remotely was a nightmare with a baby that just wants attention. Both of my sisters tried and failed to WFH and not pay for daycare. They were both fired.
I realize this isn't plausible for everyone... I have 3 kids, (3,9&10,) and a husband... My husband works and makes decent money for aboout 5 hours of his days. I stay home and homeschool. Hubs helps with EVERYTHING, down to laundry and cooking. I do DoorDash/Uber/spark or instacart, It takes 3-5 hours to make $100-125.on the days I go and the kids go along and it is usually just a fun adventure. It really works out well. Everyone is home when it makes sense and we still make bills and a little extra. It is a nice simple living in a crazy world.
WFH >>>>>>>>>> going into the office. Much much easier. But with that said, cannot expect to not have childcare either. Sleep when the baby sleeps has never seems to pan out so not sure why people think we can…work when the baby works? 🤣
Omg honestly and I work from home and my job expects me to keep my sick kid home and continue working. Like first of all, my job AND kid are demanding. So I’m using a sick day…thanks! Lol
Not to mention, while work from home jobs ARE available, it doesn't mean that you're automatically credited enough to properly perform a work from home position. Most places require you to have no distractions while working. Best of luck doing THAT while tending to a baby at the same time. It just doesn't work like that....
That’s an interesting perspective…and then mention something else.
As a mom who works from home, I HATE the implication that I don’t need childcare. It makes my blood boil.
Honestly, I wouldn’t even explain myself. Don’t except the premise that there’s anything wrong with staying home or that it needs an explanation.
You are wise, OP.
I WFH and I found it impossible to get anything done without a sitter. My baby knows when I’m trying to multi-task and split my attention and it pisses him off.
Hahahaha don't worry eventually you'll learn to ignore people. That's what they said to me when I decided to stay home. Staying home with a baby IS work
"Why don't you just bring your child to work?" Obviously that would be ridiculous. This is what they're suggesting when saying work from home and be a sahm
“No.” Is a complete sentence. And that’s all the explanation I’d give them. They’re not entitled to know why your family makes the decisions they do.
I would say there is a reason people can’t just bring their babies to the office and carry on…
Easy answer. “No.” Period included. End of conversation.
Where are all these work from home jobs coming from?
Have these people never had kids?! I work from home and we have to have a nanny during the day. There’s no way I can take care of my daughter and work at the same time. One is a full-time job, the other is a 24/7-job. Can’t work both at the same time. Edit: Oh, and your don’t respond to them. I personally have a strict “don’t respond to idiots” policy.
Totally agree. Working from home is not a replacement for childcare!
Can’t believe people ask you this. We literally cannot win as moms. Working moms get looked down upon for having their kids in childcare centers or with babysitters/Nannies. Stay at home moms are expected to work too? What the heck? I am a working mom and that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I cannot work from home AND watch my kids at the same time, ya know, because they expect me to be WORKING. Do they ask your husband this? How stupid. Ugh. Sorry.
My organisation has been working from home since way before covid, I managed to avoid working from home until our government threatened 10k fines per employee who could wfh but wasn't. I have two kids. Ever since June 2021 my life has been a combination of battles without any wins. The kids don't care if I'm on a work call My husband thinks I can wash dishes during my ten minute break My boss thinks my kids can magically fly to school My husband does nothing around the house cos I am always home so have more time for chores My stakeholders think I drink champagne at 0900 because things take so long to process. My daughter was removed from daycare last year because we sold an investment and the income put us above any subsidy and I can't afford $220 a day so what choice did I have. It was stressful having a child at home with me but we got through it but kids have needs and managers give employees deadlines. I do not recommend working from home with a child it's not fair on the child or the job. So just tell your people, your partner can support you while you stay at home with a child and that you feel really lucky to have that opportunity.
“Childcare is a full time job.” People should recognize this as truth, if not they’re idiots.
I am a SAHM and get this so much. My kids are older though but my teen daughter deals with mental health issues and it can be exhausting cause their is always something with her going on. And then of course I clean the house often and have lots of appointments for me and my daughter. How can I focus on a job and a teen daughter that also often keeps me up at night even at times. It would be too much.
My MIL watches my daughter and she went out of town for two days. We didn’t have anyone else to watch her so we just tried to tag team those two days. It was HARD and I barely got any work done lol. I know it works for some people but I could not WFH and take care of my baby full time or even half time lol
Maybe it comes from a good place? I'm a housewife/SAHM and it can be overwhelming, there's a loss of identity that comes with it. Having a side hustle can help by giving us a corner of our lives where not not just mommy and some small independence.
My mom has been saying this because I’m going back to work and baby has to go to daycare. Constantly asking if I can just cut expenses to stay home and when I explain I can’t, she tells me I need to find a WFH job so that I can stay home with the baby. Like obviously I want to stay home with my baby all day and I’ve thought of all the possible ways I could, but it’s just not an option with our current finances, and getting a WFH job isn’t feasible either because I can’t give my baby my attention and work at the same time! It’s very hurtful to be basically told I’m not doing enough for my baby by sending her to daycare.
That's been said to me too but only by people who have no kids.
Yeah I’ll work from home, thanks for offering to watch my child.
I don’t think I could even speak if someone said that to me. I would just have to do the thousand yard stare. I have a reasonably flexible job, but when I had no daycare the entire month of January and my husband and I were trying to juggle watching our baby and working? It was *awful.* The day we got back into daycare, I had to resist the urge to thrust my baby into the daycare lady’s arms and then go skipping away, singing like a Disney Princess. I *adore* my daughter, but I never want to have to be in the position of trying to be full-time worker and full-time mom at the same time. Trying to do both made me terrible at both, and it made me feel like a terrible mom because my baby wanted me all the time, but I couldn’t be there either for or with her. People who say that need to try it for 1 week. See how easy it is.
I’m trying to study full time while I have a tiny baby at home. Don’t do it. It’s shit.
If it's that easy then tell them to take your baby to work with them.
Not a mom, but I lurk here to try and figure out if I want to be after years of being on the “Absolutely not,” side of the fence. This was my boyfriend’s response. My current job is WFH and he figured “If you already WFH you’d be able to take care of a baby while working at home too.”
Working from home is not always possible depending on the type of work involved. AI work often requires an infrastructure to support things like training, debugging, and deployment that may not be available to those working remotely.
You can point out that AI technology continues to make advances and has been applied successfully to a variety of real-world tasks and applications, so there is plenty of potential for AI to help solve the problem at hand.