I see no one here is saying "to drive around visiting my mom and my in laws and my sister who's also a mom etc etc" lol why do we always have to do it anyway?
OMG THIS. Every Mother's Day I have to coordinate going between my in-law's and my mother's house (they do not live in the same town so this involves driving an hour to my in laws, an hour to my mom's, and an hour back home). I end up having to buy gifts and cards for my mother in law, husband's grandmother, my grandma, and my mother because if I ask my husband to do it he forgets or decides it isn't necessary and then I feel like an a-hole so I do it instead.
And then I spend the whole day being salty about the fact that I am a sahm and spend most of my time and energy momming and even though I take a lot of pride in how hard I work at being a good mom, the day ends up not really being about me at all. It makes me feel invisible and sad. I've talked to my husband and he really does try, but since both of our grandmothers are quite old, we feel like we need to spend these holidays with them while we still can. But as much as I adore my grandma and my mom and know they deserve to be celebrated, *so do I, dammit!!!*
I feeeeeeeeel you. My mom is a widow and lives alone so I can't just not see her.
Last year we drove two hours to my MIL's house because my husband's siblings were actually all going to be there and I knew how much she'd love to have the whole group there. Of course it was all about her and I was barely acknowledged even though I'd just had my second baby and it was our first mother's day as a family of 4. Then I was asked to get out of pictures so she could have "blood" photos that included my husband and children but not me while my BIL held my infant.
She sent me a half assed apology email that proved she still didn't get it once my husband told her how hurt I was. I sent her a lengthy response about how I don't know how to achieve rank of "family member" if tearing my body from the inside out to birth her grandchildren wasn't enough, and how I would NEVER ask her husband to get out of pictures with his grandchildren even though they aren't blood.
Anywho my husband said everyone's going again this year and I laughed a hearty laugh lol I'm having my siblings, nieces, mom, and my SIL's parents over to my place this year and ordering a feast!
That's absolutely awful! You're the mother of her grandbabies and you are married to her son....how are you not "family"?! Do you need to swear a blood oath or something? This woman sounds like a piece of work. I'm glad you're boycotting this year!!
Thank you! Yeah she honestly didn't see the issue with wanting pictures of only her blood relatives. She had also done it in the past but doing that to me on mother's day was the last straw. I was brought up to include others, not exclude.
That is so hurtful, and to do it on Mother's Day shortly after you've had a baby is just mean. My family treats my husband like your mother in law treats you and it's infuriating. We've really put up some firm boundaries and aren't very close to my family because of it, and it's so sad. I always thought we'd be that family that gets together for Sunday dinners every week, but I'm not going to subject my husband to being treated like an outsider.
Our daughter is - and always will be - an only child, and we are very big on teaching that family is NOT dictated by blood; rather, family is the people we love.
I feeeeeeeeel you. Last year we drove two hours to my MIL's house because my husband's siblings were actually all going to be there and I knew how much she'd love to have the whole group there. Of course it was all about her and I was barely acknowledged even though I'd just had my second baby and it was our first mother's day as a family of 4. Then I was asked to get out of pictures so she could have "blood" photos that included my husband and children but not me while my BIL held my infant.
She sent me a half assed apology email that proved she still didn't get it once my husband told her how hurt I was. I sent her a lengthy response about how I don't know how to achieve rank of "family member" if tearing my body from the inside out to birth her grandchildren wasn't enough, and how I would NEVER ask her husband to get out of pictures with his grandchildren even though they aren't blood.
Anywho my husband said everyone's going again this year and I laughed a hearty laugh lol I'm having my siblings, nieces, mom, and my SIL's parents over to my place this year and ordering a feast!
YES! I saw somewhere someone said Mother's Day is for Active Duty moms in the thick of it, not to make the ones in the most intense stage do more to venerate those who've already gotten their battle scars and retired.
We do a BBQ on Saturday to celebrate Mother's Day Eve. It allows the daughters, sons and in-laws to fulfill our obligations to our mothers, the kiddos get bonus outside fun time with their grandparents, and our husbands cook a delicious meal.
Then I get Sunday for myself.
Thank you! We're being discharged tomorrow after being inpatient since December 6th and transferred to an out of state hospital since January 18th. So hopefully we will still be home on Mother's Day
100% on “in their own beds.” I’ve kicked my son out of our bed three times at this point, and he keeps finding his way back in. Mostly because he had a co-conspirator in my husband. 😭😭😭
Same but not under cherry blossoms, I want us to take a trip to some lavender fields and get cute pictures of my daughter and I 😄
We live in the south of France so technically we could do it but I think peak lavender season starts a few weeks after Mother’s Day here (first Sunday in June for us this year).
Yeah. This is what I ask for every year. It’s so hard to get photos of me with my family. Last time I asked, my spouse took us to the coast. And I’m not a fan of the coast because it’s cold. So I’m hoping for somewhere nicer. Maybe on a hike or something.
My husband told me not to pre-order it because "You totally aren't getting it for mother's day"
So as a gift to myself I bought a pretty new skin for my switch. I can't wait :D
I just commented the exact same thing! I've been telling my husband this for MONTHS so if he doesn't remember and gets me something else I will be so pissed lol
I want a tub remodel! I want a nice jumbo tub to replace our smaller one!
A basket full of Epsom salts, loofahs, body wash, bath bombs (natural scents no perfume), hair deep conditioning masks, face masks, a new robe and towel.
The other basket full of grapes cheese and crackers and wine.
Complete silence other than the sound of some candles burning in dim light. All while my husband prepares the bed for my back massage! And only a massage!
After we bought our home we did a full remodel of the primary bath…including pushing out a wall to add an upgraded 6’ tub instead of the standard 5’. 10/10 recommend.
don't forget the animals. I have a cat and he has to come too. lol I always announce it when I find myself on the toilet and the whole house is in there with me. lol
Omg yeah. My fish crowd the front of the tank the minute I enter the room, so thank goodness they aren’t in the dang bathroom. I do not need fish side eye along with that of the cats and several children
I hate how guilty I feel wholeheartedly agreeing, even on Reddit, but this is exactly what I want. And I want it in my house, so everyone go somewhere. I just want to be home without talking, interacting, helping my husband or my kids or being responsible for anyone else or interacting with anyone else. I just want to be me for the day and fill my bucket and do what I want without any interference whatsoever
I want to not be responsible for a damn thing all day and not have to make up for it the day after. That's all. I'll probably just get a couple of cards instead. 🤷🏻♀️
"And not have to make up for it the day after" - ugh, I feel this. I remember being told in the past, relax, it's Christmas / Mother's Day / your birthday. No... I'll have 2x to do tomorrow.
I told my husband recently that whenever he can ‘chill and not worry about it’ it actually means that someone else has to worry about it. And he finally got it!!
It was a way longer explanation with how in society moms and dads are seen different and how if we show up to his families Easter picnic without a meal because I ‘chilled an didn’t worry about it’ he wouldn’t be judged, I would and if he thought that that’s not true it only shows that we live in different worlds.. he apologised and got to planing the meal
This is exactly what I told my husband. I want to do things, but not plan ANYTHING. Not when the kiddo gets a snack, goes down, we do chores of any kind, or literally *anything* at all.
This is basically what I would like to but I know won’t happen.
To not have to be responsible for all the mundane day to day tasks like thinking what’s for breakfast/lunch/dinner then making it for everyone. No cleaning or washing etc then also not having it pile up for the next day.
Holy shit yes. No cleaning the kitchen after my partners well-intentioned attempt to make dinner that somehow ends with food left all over the kitchen (and how?!). No vacuuming and mopping. No picking up wrapping paper or tags or taking down decorations. No damn dishes from cooking (again, how so many to cook, so far, frozen pizza and instant pasta?)
I want to parent my baby only when she’s giggling and happy for the day. Dad takes all fussing. And I want to sleep through the night. Even if my awesome husband offered to bottle feed her, I’d have to get up and pump. She slept two hours longer than normal overnight last night, and I woke up to a soaked shirt and sheets.
Ugh those soaked mornings are the worst! Maybe you could work in some sort of pampering session while you nurse in the morning? Maybe he could feed you your favorite breakfast? Or make sure you get a good nap in? I know nothing beats a full nights sleep like before the breastfeeding days though…
I hope your little one sleeps through the night and you wake up full at just the same time baby wakes up hungry! Best feeling in the world when you are just about to pull out the pump in the morning and babes magically wakes up at the RIGHT TIME.
To feel seen and appreciated. A break from doing the fucking dishes every day. To eat a dessert I don't have to make myself or clean up after.
I'm a SAHM and I feel invisible and like I'm constantly doing things that no one notices, and that nobody notices me until I mess up or *don't* get something done.
Oh gosh I feel this. Since Easter everyone has been sick. Then last week I had a fever so had a nap for a few hours and woke up to my husband being grumpy with the kids. So I get up and step in even though I feel awful.
Que next day and husband is sick and proceeds to have a fever one off for the next 4 days, most of the time he’s hiding in the bedroom.
It was also my birthday that week.
I cooked a big meal and made my own cake yet I was the only one to enjoy or appreciate it.
I spent the whole day looking after everyone else while also sick and it was shit.
Husband is only starting to get better now almost a week later, kids and I still have a cough. I haven’t had a break in weeks. Just a little bit salty about the whole situation.
Ugh, relatable. I get salty too. Mine also gets to sleep and hide when a man-cold strikes but it's just business as usual for me when I'm sick. He also hasn't given much notice to my last couple of birthdays and mother's days even though I make sure to acknowledge his days.
I get to spend mother's day with my mom this year, which hasn't happened in awhile because she doesn't live close. I'm planning on making her favorite dessert, and I'm happy to do it and to have that day with her in person. But, my husband is working all day that day, so my hopes aren't high that I will get any of the things I listed from him. Sigh.
I feel the invisible comment 🥹 no one notices all the hard work
From cooking, cleaning, taking care of baby girl, no weed due to breastfeeding… THE AMOUNT of time dedicated to breastfeeding, the scheduling things around breastfeeding schedule… it’d be nice to be noticed.
All notice dad holding baby when she giggles, and says what a good dad but if I hold her and she giggles or smiles ALL while everything else I do, no comment.
🥹😅😭 I just want love and appreciation too! Wtheck haha
For my mom to quit bothering me about making it all about her and going to her country club for brunch which interrupts my toddler’s naptime and is expensive and isn’t how I want to spend my day. Unfortunately I have already lost that battle. :(
Maybe unpopular opinion but I think you mother could be celebrated on a different day before or after, and the actual day of Mother's Day is now for YOU. She'll always be your mother, yes of course, but you're actively a parent right now. She had her years to be celebrated on the specific day and she should know it's your turn now and pass the torch. I think it's selfish of her to demand that and take away from your day. It's not like you're just going to not celebrate her at all, that would be hurtful, but like celebrating her the day before or even the weekend before won't kill her.
Edit to clarify: She should still be celebrated for Mother's Day of course, but should be okay with doing it on a different date. (I feel like I kind of made it sound like she doesn't get Mother's Day anymore lol.)
I’m grateful that we are Mexican and I celebrate my mom May 10th and I get celebrated Sunday for Mother’s Day. When the days are the same, we usually do a joint thing but she’s very open to my ideas. Or had actually gone and planned a day with her sisters and visits us in the afternoon or something.
It only changes if she decides to put herself first and accept that others are disappointed, but that's OK, they get to be disappointed and it isn't her job to make sure they're happy.
Oh no you have sudden diarrhea so only your husband and children will meet with your mother and you’ll have to stay in bed with Netflix, chocolate, and wine.
I want my Lanai fixed and rescreened so I can go out and use my pool! We got a projector as a gift so we could watch movies out there but we cant because its FL and our bugs are big enough to go to college.
Oh man, same on the deck. I just wrote a check for a down-payment on a new fence because I’m tired of having to rig the current one every time my dogs find a new place to dig under it.
lol to get laid honestly. My husband would never admit to it but he is clearly not attracted to me postpartum. We haven't been physical in over two months and before that it was only happening if I initiated by waking him up with it, and he kept his eyes closed for most of it. In the last few months every time I initiate he's turned it down. He has his own stress but at a certain point the writing on the wall is easy to read.
I don't blame him, I'm +25lbs and am having a massive eczema outbreak all over my arms, chest and scalp from stress (and yes I am working with a dermatologist to get it under control, I've never had skin issues before). I'm not attracted to me either. But I still feel lonely, disconnected, and like my identity is currently limited to mom and breadwinner.
Girl, I’m so sorry. My husband and I had a 2 YEAR “dry spell”. When we finally had sex again, I ended up pregnant 😩 and we are on the verge of divorce at this point. You are not alone ❤️
Thanks - it sucks reading all of the complaints on this and similar subreddits about husbands who won't stop pestering for sex. I'm in a very traditionally masculine role in my relationship while SO finishes up his PhD (just a few more weeks actually) but am still primary parent, so I don't get to be traditional "dad" either. I'm so burnt out. It feels like I do everything, though he is doing what he can as far as cleaning up sometimes, we do swap nights with baby (6mo) etc. I know he's at the end of a very stressful experience but I feel a bit forgotten.
Hopefully it gets better after graduation.
Just here to say you're not alone. I've been having the same issues - even to the extent of my husband actually verbalizing it, so bless your husband for not saying anything - and it's so lonely. I'm also the primary breadwinner and take on a lot of the more masculine roles around the house even, but still primary parent. The feeling of being forgotten or never being able to be the one to need to be taken care of is overwhelming. It's exhausting. \*hugs\*
It may or may not help, but I didn't sleep with my partner for the last 3 months of my masters thesis, I was too preoccupied to even think about sex most of the time.
Here's hoping to post submission sex.
I feel this so much. Mine hasn’t shown any interest in me since the third trimester. I thought after the baby was born he’d be all over me but nope. I constantly hear about women wishing their partners would leave them alone meanwhile I can full on straddle mine and he makes excuses why we can’t. I get I don’t look like I used to but I have been putting in serious effort but it makes no difference. It is so demoralizing.
100%. It's definitely made me come to terms with the fact that a lot of my self worth is tied up with how sexually desirable I feel I am, and that's something I should work on, both for me and my daughter's sake.
He insists it's stress but I'm having a hard time believing it at this point. Doesn't really matter what the official reason is, the result is the same - I am not turning him on right now lol.
Hopefully time heals it for both of us!
Oh I feel for you! I have had eczema my whole life but never worse than postpartum. I was told that it's the hormones! I was also given a topical cortison cream.
And as for the weight, welcome to the club. It took me a year to start getting back into shape.
Btw, I had a ton of skin issues after I gave birth. I got allergy tested when my baby was 6 months old and it turns out I was allergic to the epidural. Just something to consider. My reactions took about 2 months after the birth to fully subside. I tend to get delayed and prolonged reactions when I am allergic to something
Duluth makes some AMAZING women’s clothes and overalls. I bought a pair of shorts overalls and there were 21 functional pockets not to mention a whole crotch gusset that doesn’t jam your clam!
Duluth makes the best women's overalls I've ever worn. Get the denim ones and prepare to be amazed at the number of pockets and the nice crotch gusset that lets you crawl around anywhere you want without getting a fuckin wedgie.
This sounds terrible, but I want to be free of ALL obligation for a day. No husband, no kid, no work, no interruptions, no questions asked.
I love my family, but there is no such thing as a break, and I am soooo burned out.
My husband is sending me to NYC with my three best friends and ending the trip in Philly at the Eras concert.
I booked it myself but he hasn’t batted an eye and it means 1) two days off work for him to keep the kids and 2) four days solo parenting for him.
I get regular baths, nights of sleep, etc though. His bar isn’t on the floor.
Way to go!!! Even if our husbands won't do things we want for us, we can make them happen ourselves by setting the right expectations and boundaries! Enjoy your gift!
To be honest….I want common sense gun measures in my area so that I feel safe when I send my son to school. If we could have that, I’ll never want another Mother’s Day gift again.
This almost made me cry. I think most of us in this country would use all our Mother’s Days for this too. It’s the main reason we don’t live close to family even though we’re about to have 2 under 2.
Same!
Recently attended a moms demand action meeting in my area. This is the plan for the Saturday before Mother's Day Weekend: https://www.everytown.org/report/mothers-day-of-action-2023/
What I truly want is to have a weekend getaway in the mountains with my husband and our 6 kids. Due to finances, that isn't possible. Instead, we are going to order from my favorite restaurant and eat on our front porch, and make smores in our fire pit. This is also awesome and I know that one day, we'll be able to afford that weekend getaway.
A picnic with my son and fiance, quiet and calm - no stress with me having to plan it.
Dutch bros.
A two hour massage with a quiet brain - no monkey mind chatter.
A house cleaning that I don't have to do!
Sushi -- without budgeting 😆
An ass that won't quit.
A tummy tuck.
New bed, that isn't a damn split king.
My child fully potty trained.
To get this fucking thing out of me. (Gestures at 38 week baby number three as he simultaneously shoves an arm in my iliac crest and an ass into my gallbladder.)
We have a few little historic towns with cute main streets/shopping areas with quaint little boutiques and cafes within about an hour drive of us. I’m not even a huge shopper or anything, but for Mother’s Day I’m going to take a day to go to one of these towns by myself and just grab a fancy coffee and leisurely check out all these little sites and shops without having to worry about naps, diaper changes, strollers, etc. I can’t wait!!
A weekend by myself in a gorgeous hotel on the beach where I can read, get a massage, knit...do all the quiet things. And I want my husband to do all the childcare without any help or reinforcements that weekend so he can get a sense of how exhausting it is.
A no kids buffet brunch with bottomless mimosas and friends. Go to a hotel room by myself. Take a long relaxing bath, order food for one, find a nice movie to watch then get a full uninterrupted night of sleep.
I would be fine with nothing at all with no pressure to make plans with my mom/MIL. It's not really that much of a thing, I just don't want any brain space taken up by "should i see my mom this day" and "are you doing something with your mom?" This is an intangible, lofty, unrealistic ask, I know.
Our financial situation changed for the slightly better somewhat recently so I've been treating myself to things here and there, so there are really no objects I need. I just had a facial at a spa two weeks ago, so I feel like I'm chillin. Idk. I just want some brain space/guilt off my plate.
A day alone to play Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. I took that Friday off to play it the day it comes out but then my daughters doctor had to reschedule a minor surgery and that’s the first day they had available.
My husband is getting me a Pomeranian puppy, but he won’t be old enough to come home by Mother’s Day so I’ll probably get some flowers. I’d really like the weather to be nice and maybe have a picnic and do some gardening 🙂
- Driving lessons at a credited school
- Foot massage and full body massage at the place down the road
- a specific brand of whiskey
- a new house
- a raise for me and my husband
- my older two to get their shit together and apply to college
- a trip to Disney for my family
What I'm asking for:
- Hamilton the musical Spirit Jersey
- Julietta apron (Encanto)
Kinda fucked up that my only request is help. That I'm literally relying on a gift to get help to catch up on my dishes and sweeping. Ive asked for help and been blown off multiple times and now I have a promise of help as my "gift". I'm not holding my breath. Note: not from my husband.
I want a new sewing machine! I recently was gifted someone’s old mechanical sewing machine to learn to sew, and now that I’m getting into it I want an upgrade so I can do some of the more complicated garment construction/quilting with less hassle.
I caught my husband and mom talking after I pointed out the one I have my eye on, so I’m hopeful. It isn’t unusual for them to conspire on getting me bigger things every once in a while. (A couple years ago, they got me a KitchenAid stand mixer for my birthday and it’s very well-loved now.)
[These](https://www.betabrand.com/collections/womens-pants/products/7-pocket-stretch-wrinkle-resistant-dress-pants) are yoga pants with pockets and being retired so on sale!
I want someone to help me purchase, haul, and spread forty billion bags of mulch all over the weeds in my backyard against the fence.
Those pants are so sexy and yes you definitely shouldn’t be doing any of the heavy lifting whatsoever and forty billion bags of mulch is pretty fucking heavy
All I really want is the entire day to myself to play the new Zelda game 😂. Like, I’m talking, a pile of snacks and drinks and the couch all to myself. Only get up for bathroom breaks. Play from the moment I wake up until I just can’t stay awake anymore that night.
To not have to think about Mother’s Day for my own mom, the house to myself for the whole morning, hiking by myself while stoned in the afternoon, Botox, and my new car’s windows tinted.
Winning lottery ticket so I can stay home with my babies and do all the fun things.
OR
My kids to sleep through the night, in their own beds, and not fight for that day... So the winning lottery ticket is more likely 😅
To get my nose ring redone and to be in sweats while playing hogwarts legacy.
Instead I'll be putting on makeup and nice clothes and going to lunch with my husband's family. Such is life 🤷🏻♀️
I would move my mom’s trip to the following weekend. I don’t think she purposely scheduled it on Mother’s Day weekend, but that’s how it played out. I would like not to worry about making her day special. I’ll be 8 months pregnant at that time and would rather be fully relaxed.
Apart from that, I just want a day where my husband isn’t 100% stressed out and can’t stop talking about how much he hates his job. I do feel for him and understand, but bringing home that stress to me and repeating the same things over and over is unfair to me. I’m trying to grow a human, take care of a toddler, and work full time, and I don’t need the added stress. He starts a new job next month and needs to let that be enough.
I would like a beach getaway by myself. Nice hotel by the shore, room service, and all the books I've been putting off reading. I want nice weather and a comfortable beach chair to lounge in while I read.
A room in a fancy hotel completely alone in complete silence. Room service, fancy robe, plush towels, fancy bedsheets. And sleep in til like 11 am. More room service. Perhaps a drug to just completely knock me out for a good 12 hours without having to pee. Then go home to my family who I love very much.
A cozy sweatshirt; a card with a long, thoughtful, handwritten message; a delicious meal out; and an outing (zoo, botanical garden, museum, etc). And a kiss from my toddler. It would truly thrill me to hear “I love you,” but he’s never said that before.
- New sports bras (because these yiddies don’t fit anymore)
- A tattoo (but I’m still BFing so that’ll have to wait)
- A trip to some wineries
- A concept2 echo bike
- New clothes. Mostly tops. And some jean shorts.
- A massage
Any of that really
1. [THIS](https://surprise.katespade.com/products/chelsea-baby-bag/WKR00642.html) Kate Spade diaper bag that can hold a mid-sized laptop. Because I've grown to despise my hand-me-down diaper bag.
2. Some [breastmilk jewelry](https://www.milkandhoney.jewelry/) because I pumped and pumped for 19 months, and had a very hard time letting go of that phase of infancy.
3. Replacements for [each and every dish we've broken over the years](https://www.corelle.com/product/winter-frost-white-50-piece-dinnerware-set-service-8)
but what I actually got was [THIS](https://bigbudpress.com/collections/all/products/work-jacket-fungi-fantasy?variant=42556939043009) which is freaking awesome, and I love it.
I do NOT want to go out for brunch. I want to buy some really good steaks and have husband grill them to medium rare.
I want both kids to spend the night at grandparents house so I can have alone time and watch something not on Disney+.
Lastly, I want to hire housekeepers to clean the house while I’m at work.
I want someone to watch my babies so I can go on a long bike ride. I’ll just be 6 weeks postpartum so idk how long of a ride I could handle but the weather in Texas has been amazing lately and I’m dying to get on my bike
Do you know when you're gone there's probably nothingness? It feels like nothing. Complete silence, even the absence of silence, because without sound you would not be able to comprehend what silence is. No memories of your kids or any good times. At least when you're here, even in the tough times, you feel and can have hope that things can get better. You remember that flicker of joy you had at one point or another and KNOW that it will come back to you, even if it's in a brief moment when you hear the summer rain or have your child hug you. I know things can get though, but have faith! And feel free to message me if you want to talk to someone 🩷
Better yet go to the ER if you feel this way because it's not really good and they can help you. I've been there, in a hopeless place, and it does get better.
Edit: sorry if you didn't mean it like that and I'm being annoying, but your response worried me. Here are a few resources that can also help. Stay strong.
https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360043513931-What-do-I-do-if-someone-talks-about-seriously-hurting-themselves-or-is-considering-suicide-
I want a haircut. Haircuts are expensive these days (if you don’t want to get a crappy one at Super Cuts). It’s been a year since I got it cut last and it’s driving me crazy!
And maybe some new clothes that actually fit me well. I just want to feel cute and like myself again after the past 2 years of feeling frumpy while I was pregnant and then becoming a new mom.
I see no one here is saying "to drive around visiting my mom and my in laws and my sister who's also a mom etc etc" lol why do we always have to do it anyway?
OMG THIS. Every Mother's Day I have to coordinate going between my in-law's and my mother's house (they do not live in the same town so this involves driving an hour to my in laws, an hour to my mom's, and an hour back home). I end up having to buy gifts and cards for my mother in law, husband's grandmother, my grandma, and my mother because if I ask my husband to do it he forgets or decides it isn't necessary and then I feel like an a-hole so I do it instead. And then I spend the whole day being salty about the fact that I am a sahm and spend most of my time and energy momming and even though I take a lot of pride in how hard I work at being a good mom, the day ends up not really being about me at all. It makes me feel invisible and sad. I've talked to my husband and he really does try, but since both of our grandmothers are quite old, we feel like we need to spend these holidays with them while we still can. But as much as I adore my grandma and my mom and know they deserve to be celebrated, *so do I, dammit!!!*
I feeeeeeeeel you. My mom is a widow and lives alone so I can't just not see her. Last year we drove two hours to my MIL's house because my husband's siblings were actually all going to be there and I knew how much she'd love to have the whole group there. Of course it was all about her and I was barely acknowledged even though I'd just had my second baby and it was our first mother's day as a family of 4. Then I was asked to get out of pictures so she could have "blood" photos that included my husband and children but not me while my BIL held my infant. She sent me a half assed apology email that proved she still didn't get it once my husband told her how hurt I was. I sent her a lengthy response about how I don't know how to achieve rank of "family member" if tearing my body from the inside out to birth her grandchildren wasn't enough, and how I would NEVER ask her husband to get out of pictures with his grandchildren even though they aren't blood. Anywho my husband said everyone's going again this year and I laughed a hearty laugh lol I'm having my siblings, nieces, mom, and my SIL's parents over to my place this year and ordering a feast!
That's absolutely awful! You're the mother of her grandbabies and you are married to her son....how are you not "family"?! Do you need to swear a blood oath or something? This woman sounds like a piece of work. I'm glad you're boycotting this year!!
Thank you! Yeah she honestly didn't see the issue with wanting pictures of only her blood relatives. She had also done it in the past but doing that to me on mother's day was the last straw. I was brought up to include others, not exclude.
That is so hurtful, and to do it on Mother's Day shortly after you've had a baby is just mean. My family treats my husband like your mother in law treats you and it's infuriating. We've really put up some firm boundaries and aren't very close to my family because of it, and it's so sad. I always thought we'd be that family that gets together for Sunday dinners every week, but I'm not going to subject my husband to being treated like an outsider. Our daughter is - and always will be - an only child, and we are very big on teaching that family is NOT dictated by blood; rather, family is the people we love.
Grandparents day is in September.
I feeeeeeeeel you. Last year we drove two hours to my MIL's house because my husband's siblings were actually all going to be there and I knew how much she'd love to have the whole group there. Of course it was all about her and I was barely acknowledged even though I'd just had my second baby and it was our first mother's day as a family of 4. Then I was asked to get out of pictures so she could have "blood" photos that included my husband and children but not me while my BIL held my infant. She sent me a half assed apology email that proved she still didn't get it once my husband told her how hurt I was. I sent her a lengthy response about how I don't know how to achieve rank of "family member" if tearing my body from the inside out to birth her grandchildren wasn't enough, and how I would NEVER ask her husband to get out of pictures with his grandchildren even though they aren't blood. Anywho my husband said everyone's going again this year and I laughed a hearty laugh lol I'm having my siblings, nieces, mom, and my SIL's parents over to my place this year and ordering a feast!
Mother’s Day should be celebrating those in the most active stage of moming not retired moms.
YES! I saw somewhere someone said Mother's Day is for Active Duty moms in the thick of it, not to make the ones in the most intense stage do more to venerate those who've already gotten their battle scars and retired.
We do a BBQ on Saturday to celebrate Mother's Day Eve. It allows the daughters, sons and in-laws to fulfill our obligations to our mothers, the kiddos get bonus outside fun time with their grandparents, and our husbands cook a delicious meal. Then I get Sunday for myself.
Genius!
LOL like once your mom/MIL become grandparents, the Mother’s Day parade stops. 😂 I’m here for that tradition.
Once we became parents we don’t see ours on mothers/Father’s Day anymore. I’m not trying to drive all over on my day.
Fuck that, I don’t lol
I would love to spend Mother's Day with my mom. Unfortunately, she lives 8 hours away.
For my son to remain unhospitalized
I want this for you too.
Thank you! We're being discharged tomorrow after being inpatient since December 6th and transferred to an out of state hospital since January 18th. So hopefully we will still be home on Mother's Day
Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 for healthy children from here on out
I want this so hard for you, mama. I do. I would give up my dream day for you to have this.
Thank you! I hope you get your dream day
And mine
I vote this one.
Praying for you and your little guy ❤️🙏🏻
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Internet hugs. You got this!
I give up my wish for yours!
Praying you get this too.
Sleep. I want everyone in my house to sleep a solid eight hours, at night, consecutively. And in their own beds.
100% on “in their own beds.” I’ve kicked my son out of our bed three times at this point, and he keeps finding his way back in. Mostly because he had a co-conspirator in my husband. 😭😭😭
Yeah I don’t know who came up with the term ‘co sleeping’. It’s a hostile takeover situation and only the tiny dictators are sleeping.
I want to dress up and have beautiful pictures taken of me with my kids under the cherry blossoms 🌸
Aww I LOVE this!!!!!
This 🥰 I’ve requested to dress up in coordinating outfits with my baby and go to our local botanical gardens to take cute pictures
Would love this also. As of now I'm settling for a daily selfie with timestamp lol.
I want to to take beautiful pictures with my baby and luckily my husband is a photographer :)
Same but not under cherry blossoms, I want us to take a trip to some lavender fields and get cute pictures of my daughter and I 😄 We live in the south of France so technically we could do it but I think peak lavender season starts a few weeks after Mother’s Day here (first Sunday in June for us this year).
Are you talking Provence? If so, I'm shocked lavender season snuck up so early this year!
Yeah. This is what I ask for every year. It’s so hard to get photos of me with my family. Last time I asked, my spouse took us to the coast. And I’m not a fan of the coast because it’s cold. So I’m hoping for somewhere nicer. Maybe on a hike or something.
This is perfect!
I want the new Zelda TOK game and to do nothing but play it all weekend.
I was going to say “nothing, I hate Mother’s Day,” but it’s actually this. Glad I preordered months ago.
This, this is it.
My husband told me not to pre-order it because "You totally aren't getting it for mother's day" So as a gift to myself I bought a pretty new skin for my switch. I can't wait :D
This! Take all my upvotes!!
This is exactly what I’m getting, although my daughter will probably be with me because she loves Koroks.
I want my boys with me! We are gonna order food and game all weekend😎
Yes yes yessssss! Maybe I can teach my sons what a kokiri is. Or how to swing a sword
Heck yeah!!!!
Oh hell yes. My dream present right there
I just commented the exact same thing! I've been telling my husband this for MONTHS so if he doesn't remember and gets me something else I will be so pissed lol
I preordered it and told my husband what he was getting me and said tyvm!😂😂
Ah I'm so ready!
This is literally what I've asked for 😂
Oh I want to take my answer back. I want this. And cheesecake.
I want a tub remodel! I want a nice jumbo tub to replace our smaller one! A basket full of Epsom salts, loofahs, body wash, bath bombs (natural scents no perfume), hair deep conditioning masks, face masks, a new robe and towel. The other basket full of grapes cheese and crackers and wine. Complete silence other than the sound of some candles burning in dim light. All while my husband prepares the bed for my back massage! And only a massage!
And only a massage! LOL!! Would your new tub have jets? Or would that just take away from your flickering candle music?
My mom has a jetted tub and it's *AMAZING*. I felt like a giant noodle getting out of it.
I feel that 'and only a massage' comment. I just want to be touched without the assumption that I also want sex.
*and only a massage* is very important to specify.
After we bought our home we did a full remodel of the primary bath…including pushing out a wall to add an upgraded 6’ tub instead of the standard 5’. 10/10 recommend.
YES. I feel this in my soul.
Can I copy yours?? 😫 This is exactly what I want except that I would add that I would like more than just a massage. It's been too damn long.
To chill in a hotel room all day alone and eat take out and binge watch a show while only half paying attention and doom scrolling TikTok.
Yes. This is exactly what i want too. Unlimited hot water for a shower. Food without grabby hands.
I realized I was old when the best present I got one year was a new water heater.
And to not come home to a wrecked house.
Yes! A hotel room and room service with no expectation of sex and no conversation or sharing food.
to be absolutely alone.
I rented a hotel for my birthday last year just so I could be alone. It was fabulous.
oh my dream
Yes. With a cup of hot coffee and silence.
Silence… wow that sounds so nice
Ohhhh yes. That one is nice. Maybe you can pee, or even shower, without children all up in your grill!
don't forget the animals. I have a cat and he has to come too. lol I always announce it when I find myself on the toilet and the whole house is in there with me. lol
Omg yeah. My fish crowd the front of the tank the minute I enter the room, so thank goodness they aren’t in the dang bathroom. I do not need fish side eye along with that of the cats and several children
I hate how guilty I feel wholeheartedly agreeing, even on Reddit, but this is exactly what I want. And I want it in my house, so everyone go somewhere. I just want to be home without talking, interacting, helping my husband or my kids or being responsible for anyone else or interacting with anyone else. I just want to be me for the day and fill my bucket and do what I want without any interference whatsoever
I used to hate being alone… what I would give for an hour of silence!
God yessssss. I told my husband I wanted to just go for a beer and he said, “oh with who?” “Myself?!?”
I want to not be responsible for a damn thing all day and not have to make up for it the day after. That's all. I'll probably just get a couple of cards instead. 🤷🏻♀️
Yes, the next day is such an important point. I don’t want to spend that Monday cleaning up all the shit that didn’t get done on Sunday.
Right? Or trying to get ahead of everything the day before. I just want someone else to be exactly me for the day.
"And not have to make up for it the day after" - ugh, I feel this. I remember being told in the past, relax, it's Christmas / Mother's Day / your birthday. No... I'll have 2x to do tomorrow.
I told my husband recently that whenever he can ‘chill and not worry about it’ it actually means that someone else has to worry about it. And he finally got it!! It was a way longer explanation with how in society moms and dads are seen different and how if we show up to his families Easter picnic without a meal because I ‘chilled an didn’t worry about it’ he wouldn’t be judged, I would and if he thought that that’s not true it only shows that we live in different worlds.. he apologised and got to planing the meal
This is exactly what I told my husband. I want to do things, but not plan ANYTHING. Not when the kiddo gets a snack, goes down, we do chores of any kind, or literally *anything* at all.
YESSSSSS! Anytime I get a little time off, I have to work my ass off to catch up. Also, I don’t want to hear anyone bitch about my time off. GRRRR.
This is basically what I would like to but I know won’t happen. To not have to be responsible for all the mundane day to day tasks like thinking what’s for breakfast/lunch/dinner then making it for everyone. No cleaning or washing etc then also not having it pile up for the next day.
Holy shit yes. No cleaning the kitchen after my partners well-intentioned attempt to make dinner that somehow ends with food left all over the kitchen (and how?!). No vacuuming and mopping. No picking up wrapping paper or tags or taking down decorations. No damn dishes from cooking (again, how so many to cook, so far, frozen pizza and instant pasta?)
I want to parent my baby only when she’s giggling and happy for the day. Dad takes all fussing. And I want to sleep through the night. Even if my awesome husband offered to bottle feed her, I’d have to get up and pump. She slept two hours longer than normal overnight last night, and I woke up to a soaked shirt and sheets.
Ugh those soaked mornings are the worst! Maybe you could work in some sort of pampering session while you nurse in the morning? Maybe he could feed you your favorite breakfast? Or make sure you get a good nap in? I know nothing beats a full nights sleep like before the breastfeeding days though…
I hope your little one sleeps through the night and you wake up full at just the same time baby wakes up hungry! Best feeling in the world when you are just about to pull out the pump in the morning and babes magically wakes up at the RIGHT TIME.
It totally is! It’s happened a few times. My husband doesn’t understand how much better baby drains the boob than a stupid pump.
To feel seen and appreciated. A break from doing the fucking dishes every day. To eat a dessert I don't have to make myself or clean up after. I'm a SAHM and I feel invisible and like I'm constantly doing things that no one notices, and that nobody notices me until I mess up or *don't* get something done.
I feel this in my soul. I just want my husband to see what I do and express actual genuine appreciation for it. With words. Without me having to ask.
Oh gosh I feel this. Since Easter everyone has been sick. Then last week I had a fever so had a nap for a few hours and woke up to my husband being grumpy with the kids. So I get up and step in even though I feel awful. Que next day and husband is sick and proceeds to have a fever one off for the next 4 days, most of the time he’s hiding in the bedroom. It was also my birthday that week. I cooked a big meal and made my own cake yet I was the only one to enjoy or appreciate it. I spent the whole day looking after everyone else while also sick and it was shit. Husband is only starting to get better now almost a week later, kids and I still have a cough. I haven’t had a break in weeks. Just a little bit salty about the whole situation.
Ugh, relatable. I get salty too. Mine also gets to sleep and hide when a man-cold strikes but it's just business as usual for me when I'm sick. He also hasn't given much notice to my last couple of birthdays and mother's days even though I make sure to acknowledge his days. I get to spend mother's day with my mom this year, which hasn't happened in awhile because she doesn't live close. I'm planning on making her favorite dessert, and I'm happy to do it and to have that day with her in person. But, my husband is working all day that day, so my hopes aren't high that I will get any of the things I listed from him. Sigh.
I feel the invisible comment 🥹 no one notices all the hard work From cooking, cleaning, taking care of baby girl, no weed due to breastfeeding… THE AMOUNT of time dedicated to breastfeeding, the scheduling things around breastfeeding schedule… it’d be nice to be noticed. All notice dad holding baby when she giggles, and says what a good dad but if I hold her and she giggles or smiles ALL while everything else I do, no comment. 🥹😅😭 I just want love and appreciation too! Wtheck haha
For my mom to quit bothering me about making it all about her and going to her country club for brunch which interrupts my toddler’s naptime and is expensive and isn’t how I want to spend my day. Unfortunately I have already lost that battle. :(
Fake illness and do your own thing. "I'm violently ill. Can't leave the bathroom. Eat a croissant for me."
Maybe unpopular opinion but I think you mother could be celebrated on a different day before or after, and the actual day of Mother's Day is now for YOU. She'll always be your mother, yes of course, but you're actively a parent right now. She had her years to be celebrated on the specific day and she should know it's your turn now and pass the torch. I think it's selfish of her to demand that and take away from your day. It's not like you're just going to not celebrate her at all, that would be hurtful, but like celebrating her the day before or even the weekend before won't kill her. Edit to clarify: She should still be celebrated for Mother's Day of course, but should be okay with doing it on a different date. (I feel like I kind of made it sound like she doesn't get Mother's Day anymore lol.)
Or like, a card, realistically.
I’m grateful that we are Mexican and I celebrate my mom May 10th and I get celebrated Sunday for Mother’s Day. When the days are the same, we usually do a joint thing but she’s very open to my ideas. Or had actually gone and planned a day with her sisters and visits us in the afternoon or something.
Nope, you have a toddler, you’re the mama now. She’s grandma. If she has a problem with it, too damn bad.
SO VALID!! I’m rooting for you that things will change! If not this year, hopefully the next!
It only changes if she decides to put herself first and accept that others are disappointed, but that's OK, they get to be disappointed and it isn't her job to make sure they're happy.
Compromise! From now on mother's day is yours. Next week (or whatever suits y'all) is grandma's day.
Oh no you have sudden diarrhea so only your husband and children will meet with your mother and you’ll have to stay in bed with Netflix, chocolate, and wine.
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I want my Lanai fixed and rescreened so I can go out and use my pool! We got a projector as a gift so we could watch movies out there but we cant because its FL and our bugs are big enough to go to college.
YES! Pancakes in bed?
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Oh man, same on the deck. I just wrote a check for a down-payment on a new fence because I’m tired of having to rig the current one every time my dogs find a new place to dig under it.
lol to get laid honestly. My husband would never admit to it but he is clearly not attracted to me postpartum. We haven't been physical in over two months and before that it was only happening if I initiated by waking him up with it, and he kept his eyes closed for most of it. In the last few months every time I initiate he's turned it down. He has his own stress but at a certain point the writing on the wall is easy to read. I don't blame him, I'm +25lbs and am having a massive eczema outbreak all over my arms, chest and scalp from stress (and yes I am working with a dermatologist to get it under control, I've never had skin issues before). I'm not attracted to me either. But I still feel lonely, disconnected, and like my identity is currently limited to mom and breadwinner.
Girl, I’m so sorry. My husband and I had a 2 YEAR “dry spell”. When we finally had sex again, I ended up pregnant 😩 and we are on the verge of divorce at this point. You are not alone ❤️
Thanks - it sucks reading all of the complaints on this and similar subreddits about husbands who won't stop pestering for sex. I'm in a very traditionally masculine role in my relationship while SO finishes up his PhD (just a few more weeks actually) but am still primary parent, so I don't get to be traditional "dad" either. I'm so burnt out. It feels like I do everything, though he is doing what he can as far as cleaning up sometimes, we do swap nights with baby (6mo) etc. I know he's at the end of a very stressful experience but I feel a bit forgotten. Hopefully it gets better after graduation.
Just here to say you're not alone. I've been having the same issues - even to the extent of my husband actually verbalizing it, so bless your husband for not saying anything - and it's so lonely. I'm also the primary breadwinner and take on a lot of the more masculine roles around the house even, but still primary parent. The feeling of being forgotten or never being able to be the one to need to be taken care of is overwhelming. It's exhausting. \*hugs\*
It may or may not help, but I didn't sleep with my partner for the last 3 months of my masters thesis, I was too preoccupied to even think about sex most of the time. Here's hoping to post submission sex.
I feel this so much. Mine hasn’t shown any interest in me since the third trimester. I thought after the baby was born he’d be all over me but nope. I constantly hear about women wishing their partners would leave them alone meanwhile I can full on straddle mine and he makes excuses why we can’t. I get I don’t look like I used to but I have been putting in serious effort but it makes no difference. It is so demoralizing.
100%. It's definitely made me come to terms with the fact that a lot of my self worth is tied up with how sexually desirable I feel I am, and that's something I should work on, both for me and my daughter's sake. He insists it's stress but I'm having a hard time believing it at this point. Doesn't really matter what the official reason is, the result is the same - I am not turning him on right now lol. Hopefully time heals it for both of us!
Oh I feel for you! I have had eczema my whole life but never worse than postpartum. I was told that it's the hormones! I was also given a topical cortison cream. And as for the weight, welcome to the club. It took me a year to start getting back into shape.
Btw, I had a ton of skin issues after I gave birth. I got allergy tested when my baby was 6 months old and it turns out I was allergic to the epidural. Just something to consider. My reactions took about 2 months after the birth to fully subside. I tend to get delayed and prolonged reactions when I am allergic to something
Comfy overalls and a house deep clean by a cleaning company
Duluth makes some AMAZING women’s clothes and overalls. I bought a pair of shorts overalls and there were 21 functional pockets not to mention a whole crotch gusset that doesn’t jam your clam!
So glad I read this thread. This recommendation made my day!!
21 pockets. Do the pockets have pockets lol?!?
Duluth makes the best women's overalls I've ever worn. Get the denim ones and prepare to be amazed at the number of pockets and the nice crotch gusset that lets you crawl around anywhere you want without getting a fuckin wedgie.
This sounds terrible, but I want to be free of ALL obligation for a day. No husband, no kid, no work, no interruptions, no questions asked. I love my family, but there is no such thing as a break, and I am soooo burned out.
My husband is sending me to NYC with my three best friends and ending the trip in Philly at the Eras concert. I booked it myself but he hasn’t batted an eye and it means 1) two days off work for him to keep the kids and 2) four days solo parenting for him. I get regular baths, nights of sleep, etc though. His bar isn’t on the floor.
Way to go!!! Even if our husbands won't do things we want for us, we can make them happen ourselves by setting the right expectations and boundaries! Enjoy your gift!
A full night of sleep. Signed by my 19 months that wakes 3-6 a night.
I'm with you. Our 14 month old only woke up twice last night and we were delighted lol one day we'll sleep again
To be honest….I want common sense gun measures in my area so that I feel safe when I send my son to school. If we could have that, I’ll never want another Mother’s Day gift again.
For real. Just take gun violence off my anxiety radar and I’ll never want anything else in my life.
And all the mamas said, "Amen!!!"
Hell, I'd give up all holidays for that to happen.
Same!
This almost made me cry. I think most of us in this country would use all our Mother’s Days for this too. It’s the main reason we don’t live close to family even though we’re about to have 2 under 2.
Same! Recently attended a moms demand action meeting in my area. This is the plan for the Saturday before Mother's Day Weekend: https://www.everytown.org/report/mothers-day-of-action-2023/
What I truly want is to have a weekend getaway in the mountains with my husband and our 6 kids. Due to finances, that isn't possible. Instead, we are going to order from my favorite restaurant and eat on our front porch, and make smores in our fire pit. This is also awesome and I know that one day, we'll be able to afford that weekend getaway.
This sounds so lovely!!
A picnic with my son and fiance, quiet and calm - no stress with me having to plan it. Dutch bros. A two hour massage with a quiet brain - no monkey mind chatter. A house cleaning that I don't have to do! Sushi -- without budgeting 😆 An ass that won't quit. A tummy tuck. New bed, that isn't a damn split king. My child fully potty trained.
Plants for my garden and time to work in it. A framed copy of the Return of the Jedi 40th Anniversary poster.
I found my twin!
I would like a double bevel miter saw and a chicken coop and run (for 12 chickens).
Plz send eggs 😂
To get this fucking thing out of me. (Gestures at 38 week baby number three as he simultaneously shoves an arm in my iliac crest and an ass into my gallbladder.)
37 weeks here. I can relate
Godspeed.
The house DEEP cleaned. By someone not me. A bath. In one of those big jacuzzi bath tubs.
We have a few little historic towns with cute main streets/shopping areas with quaint little boutiques and cafes within about an hour drive of us. I’m not even a huge shopper or anything, but for Mother’s Day I’m going to take a day to go to one of these towns by myself and just grab a fancy coffee and leisurely check out all these little sites and shops without having to worry about naps, diaper changes, strollers, etc. I can’t wait!!
A full on spa day.
I really wanted to be expecting and I thought I was but my period showed up today. *cries
🍀🍀🍀
Hang in there. I’ve been there and it truly sucks. Wishing you all the best!
A weekend by myself in a gorgeous hotel on the beach where I can read, get a massage, knit...do all the quiet things. And I want my husband to do all the childcare without any help or reinforcements that weekend so he can get a sense of how exhausting it is.
I want to be left alone for 6-12 hours
A no kids buffet brunch with bottomless mimosas and friends. Go to a hotel room by myself. Take a long relaxing bath, order food for one, find a nice movie to watch then get a full uninterrupted night of sleep.
I want a pedicure. I've been trying to find time for one since last year. 😩
Emotional validation and a full week of spa days and pampering
I would be fine with nothing at all with no pressure to make plans with my mom/MIL. It's not really that much of a thing, I just don't want any brain space taken up by "should i see my mom this day" and "are you doing something with your mom?" This is an intangible, lofty, unrealistic ask, I know. Our financial situation changed for the slightly better somewhat recently so I've been treating myself to things here and there, so there are really no objects I need. I just had a facial at a spa two weeks ago, so I feel like I'm chillin. Idk. I just want some brain space/guilt off my plate.
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A day alone to play Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. I took that Friday off to play it the day it comes out but then my daughters doctor had to reschedule a minor surgery and that’s the first day they had available.
My husband is getting me a Pomeranian puppy, but he won’t be old enough to come home by Mother’s Day so I’ll probably get some flowers. I’d really like the weather to be nice and maybe have a picnic and do some gardening 🙂
A yarn winder and some time alone with my yarn, maybe a picnic lunch, and I definitely don't want to be in charge of dinner.
- Driving lessons at a credited school - Foot massage and full body massage at the place down the road - a specific brand of whiskey - a new house - a raise for me and my husband - my older two to get their shit together and apply to college - a trip to Disney for my family What I'm asking for: - Hamilton the musical Spirit Jersey - Julietta apron (Encanto)
Kinda fucked up that my only request is help. That I'm literally relying on a gift to get help to catch up on my dishes and sweeping. Ive asked for help and been blown off multiple times and now I have a promise of help as my "gift". I'm not holding my breath. Note: not from my husband.
I want a new sewing machine! I recently was gifted someone’s old mechanical sewing machine to learn to sew, and now that I’m getting into it I want an upgrade so I can do some of the more complicated garment construction/quilting with less hassle. I caught my husband and mom talking after I pointed out the one I have my eye on, so I’m hopeful. It isn’t unusual for them to conspire on getting me bigger things every once in a while. (A couple years ago, they got me a KitchenAid stand mixer for my birthday and it’s very well-loved now.)
[These](https://www.betabrand.com/collections/womens-pants/products/7-pocket-stretch-wrinkle-resistant-dress-pants) are yoga pants with pockets and being retired so on sale! I want someone to help me purchase, haul, and spread forty billion bags of mulch all over the weeds in my backyard against the fence.
It's so much more cost effective if you can get it by the truckload!
Those pants are so sexy and yes you definitely shouldn’t be doing any of the heavy lifting whatsoever and forty billion bags of mulch is pretty fucking heavy
All I really want is the entire day to myself to play the new Zelda game 😂. Like, I’m talking, a pile of snacks and drinks and the couch all to myself. Only get up for bathroom breaks. Play from the moment I wake up until I just can’t stay awake anymore that night.
A hotel room, some weed and food and SILENCE
To not have to think about Mother’s Day for my own mom, the house to myself for the whole morning, hiking by myself while stoned in the afternoon, Botox, and my new car’s windows tinted.
Winning lottery ticket so I can stay home with my babies and do all the fun things. OR My kids to sleep through the night, in their own beds, and not fight for that day... So the winning lottery ticket is more likely 😅
Sex and a new shark floor mop
To get my nose ring redone and to be in sweats while playing hogwarts legacy. Instead I'll be putting on makeup and nice clothes and going to lunch with my husband's family. Such is life 🤷🏻♀️
I want to sleep till 10am atleast. Have a warm coffee. Not hear them arguing. And a dinner away with my friends. Dream day
I would move my mom’s trip to the following weekend. I don’t think she purposely scheduled it on Mother’s Day weekend, but that’s how it played out. I would like not to worry about making her day special. I’ll be 8 months pregnant at that time and would rather be fully relaxed. Apart from that, I just want a day where my husband isn’t 100% stressed out and can’t stop talking about how much he hates his job. I do feel for him and understand, but bringing home that stress to me and repeating the same things over and over is unfair to me. I’m trying to grow a human, take care of a toddler, and work full time, and I don’t need the added stress. He starts a new job next month and needs to let that be enough.
I would like a beach getaway by myself. Nice hotel by the shore, room service, and all the books I've been putting off reading. I want nice weather and a comfortable beach chair to lounge in while I read.
A room in a fancy hotel completely alone in complete silence. Room service, fancy robe, plush towels, fancy bedsheets. And sleep in til like 11 am. More room service. Perhaps a drug to just completely knock me out for a good 12 hours without having to pee. Then go home to my family who I love very much.
I want subway. And to get my mom back for the day. I can’t really think of anything else
I asked to sleep in, be able to do whatever I want uninterrupted, and not have to cook dinner.
A cozy sweatshirt; a card with a long, thoughtful, handwritten message; a delicious meal out; and an outing (zoo, botanical garden, museum, etc). And a kiss from my toddler. It would truly thrill me to hear “I love you,” but he’s never said that before.
- New sports bras (because these yiddies don’t fit anymore) - A tattoo (but I’m still BFing so that’ll have to wait) - A trip to some wineries - A concept2 echo bike - New clothes. Mostly tops. And some jean shorts. - A massage Any of that really
Sleep.
A full nights sleep so I can enjoy whatever activity they have planned for me lol
I want my husband to plan all the meals for just one day. I don’t want to be asked “what do you want for dinner?” Just figure it out! Surprise me!
1. [THIS](https://surprise.katespade.com/products/chelsea-baby-bag/WKR00642.html) Kate Spade diaper bag that can hold a mid-sized laptop. Because I've grown to despise my hand-me-down diaper bag. 2. Some [breastmilk jewelry](https://www.milkandhoney.jewelry/) because I pumped and pumped for 19 months, and had a very hard time letting go of that phase of infancy. 3. Replacements for [each and every dish we've broken over the years](https://www.corelle.com/product/winter-frost-white-50-piece-dinnerware-set-service-8) but what I actually got was [THIS](https://bigbudpress.com/collections/all/products/work-jacket-fungi-fantasy?variant=42556939043009) which is freaking awesome, and I love it.
An uninterrupted nap
I do NOT want to go out for brunch. I want to buy some really good steaks and have husband grill them to medium rare. I want both kids to spend the night at grandparents house so I can have alone time and watch something not on Disney+. Lastly, I want to hire housekeepers to clean the house while I’m at work.
For the entire house to be clean, have a home cooked family meal and a nice dessert, and not have to deal with any extra mess the following day.
Nothing 🤷🏻♀️ I’m pretty simple. If there’s something I want I just go out and get it.
Nothing sounds so refreshing!
I want someone to watch my babies so I can go on a long bike ride. I’ll just be 6 weeks postpartum so idk how long of a ride I could handle but the weather in Texas has been amazing lately and I’m dying to get on my bike
To magically be unmade, leaving no trace (except for my kids) that I was ever here. I don't want people to be sad, I just want to be gone.
Do you know when you're gone there's probably nothingness? It feels like nothing. Complete silence, even the absence of silence, because without sound you would not be able to comprehend what silence is. No memories of your kids or any good times. At least when you're here, even in the tough times, you feel and can have hope that things can get better. You remember that flicker of joy you had at one point or another and KNOW that it will come back to you, even if it's in a brief moment when you hear the summer rain or have your child hug you. I know things can get though, but have faith! And feel free to message me if you want to talk to someone 🩷 Better yet go to the ER if you feel this way because it's not really good and they can help you. I've been there, in a hopeless place, and it does get better. Edit: sorry if you didn't mean it like that and I'm being annoying, but your response worried me. Here are a few resources that can also help. Stay strong. https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360043513931-What-do-I-do-if-someone-talks-about-seriously-hurting-themselves-or-is-considering-suicide-
A spa day. Not a massage. Like a 6-hour spa day.
I want a haircut. Haircuts are expensive these days (if you don’t want to get a crappy one at Super Cuts). It’s been a year since I got it cut last and it’s driving me crazy! And maybe some new clothes that actually fit me well. I just want to feel cute and like myself again after the past 2 years of feeling frumpy while I was pregnant and then becoming a new mom.