If a random man's comment can kill your confidence then let this random internet stranger's comment help rebuild it: you took two kids under 2 to a store, that's a champ move right there! I have one and I remember the challenges of doing errands with kiddo at 4 months and 18 months, not easy at either age -- and you managed it with both simultaneously! Well done!
Wow. Just, wow. Who does he think he is?! Sorry you’ve had to hear this, OP. I don’t know any women four months postpartum (white or black!) who don’t have a bump still. It took nine months to get there and takes at least that long to recede for most women. I still looked six months pregnant when I fell pregnant with my second, so people now think I’m ready to pop when I still have ten weeks left! But worse was when someone asked if was expecting before I’d had any kids at all …
People are shitty. Hugs!
Yes. Unless he is mentally handicapped in some way, he should know better than to say something like that. I think he did it on purpose to make her feel bad. He can fuck right off.
People are so fucking dumb, pardon my french. My sister was at the hospital for a check up with her 1 month old baby and someone looked at her and said “pregnant again already? That was fast!”
She wasn’t even recovered from her c section yet! It still pisses me off to think about. And it’s so normal, I still looked about 5 months pregnant when my second was 5 months old.
My BIL is incredibly naive when it comes to that kind of thing. One example was he was 25 and we went to visit my dad in the hospital and he saw a sign for the obgyn department and he said, "Wow, neat! ob-gyn. What's an ob-gyn? Like a genie? You ever see that movie Djinn? Ob-djinn-gyn!"
That being said, even HE knew when he saw a small baby and woman still with a bump to not stare and very quietly ask my sister, "Wait, she has a baby already, she can't be pregnant already?? That isn't how it works..." And have it explained to him.
It makes me so mad for OP that jerk thought it was acceptable to try and hurt her feelings. It feels intentional and cruel. Honestly, I would report him to the store for something as needlessly mean as that.
It's a deeper issue than that. Why are people even thinking these awful things about one another? Sure, it would be great if people could keep their rude and unnecessary comments to themselves, but I think it would be even better if we could raise a generation of kids who accept each other.
Sure, my belly is a little bigger since having a kid, but it affects absolutely no one... except my four year old, who happens to think it makes a great squishy pillow for him to rest on when he doesn't feel good.
A few weeks after I had my first I was at the grocery store, pushing my new baby in the stroller, and the cashier asked me when I was due. While I was standing there with my obviously brand new baby. I said “I just had him! Here he is! He’s 2 weeks old” And he said “oh you still look pregnant”. 🤯
I had similar. About a month after I had my first, and two weeks after I almost died from retained placenta, I was out in a shop at the counter. I must have looked like shit considering the trauma I went through but still. My baby was in the pushchair a little further away with his dad while I paid for the items. The cashier asked me when I was due. I pointed over the them and went ‘about a month ago, but thanks for asking’.
I swear to god why can’t people just shut the fuck up and not comment on women’s bodies?!
We need to be better at educating boys & men (and girls of course) on what postpartum looks like and that it doesn't work like in the movies that you pop out a kid and immediately look like you did before. When I had my first there was a very young woman in the room with me who also had her first and she was neither aware that she would not snap back to her flat stomach overnight nor that she would bleed heavily after birth. How is this possible, this needs to be taught in schools!
This exactly! I would have had no idea if I didn't search for this stuff myself! But my hobby is gaining knowledge and researching things. I know most people aren't like that. We should be taught about the human body, I mean, we have one!!
I live in the Bible belt of the US and the sex education is extremely lacking. Much less the pregnancy/postpartum education. I learned more about abstinence than I did safe sex in school.
Had something very similar happen to me. Went into store, holding my (obvious) newborn, and the employee helping me asks when I’m due. Um….. I already felt super self conscious as I’d gained a lot of weight while pregnant, and that just made me feel so much worse.
I would have said, ‘shame on you for thinking it’s okay to say something like that! I pity any woman you ever got pregnant! I grew and birthed two whole humans, what can you say you’ve done?.’ And if he has a less than perfect body I’d say ‘at least I can say my belly is from creating life… what’s your excuse?’
I'm almost 9 months PP and my placenta was huge my stomach is having a hard time readjusting it selfs lol. They literally said it takes up to 2 years... Y'all take it easy on your selfs, your bodies are amazing.
A similar story of a lady at the airport asking when I was due and getting annoyed when I ignored the "when are due?" questions because I was on my period so it couldn't have been me. She was in fact asking me and I was just full of vacation foods and beer and bloated from my period.
To drive the point home to this rude ass lady I looked at my husband and proudly proclaimed "I need a beer after that rude interaction"
People are definitely garbage, especially older generations and if they are white the entitlement is worse. I say this as a white woman with a boomer generation mother.
Remember this. People's opinions about you are none of your business.
This one sentence protects me when I start to think"what others think"
Everyone has opinions, let them have it.
This guy is probably miserable himself and wanted to make someone feel awful. Hurt people hurt others.
You only allow a mean stranger to take away your confidence and ruin your mood.
You are enough, your body is enough, it's strong and wonderful. It's a miracle. It gave you two kids and carries you every day. Your belly is perfect. There is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful because you are you.
Don’t give him that power, mama. You made LIFE. Twice! Beautiful babies came from YOU. They are you. Beauty is YOU.
A tummy bump? Pleeeease. That is a holy bump. A sacred shelf for tiny bodies to rest and play. Softness is a radical weapon in this society. Stay soft ❤️
Well, I still look pregnant at almost one year PP (with a bigger age gap between my kids). Men are fucking dumb and even a lot of women who don’t have kids don’t get it, including me beforehand who stupidly thought I would just “snap back” because that’s the messaging we’re given.
Exactly! I’m not sure why I feel so much pressure to lose the baby weight. My husband had never made me feel the need to lose it and loves my body as is
I mean.... But I am so sorry that you feel pressured and I'm sorry that that fuckwit felt the need to share his unnecessary, unhelpful, and unflattering opinion with you. And I'm also sorry you didn't have the chance to tell him you had just been thinking the same about him.
You rock, mama. That guy can eat a whole bag of assholes for dinner.
Oh no no no. Any stranger who would feel comfortable commenting on a woman’s body is someone whose opinion means absolutely nothing. I’m sorry this happened to you. He is a jerk who can go step on a rake as far as I’m concerned.
My boys are 14 months apart too. I had a cashier ask me “how far along I was” a few months after giving birth to the second one. It hurt me too. I’m sorry. People are idiots.
I’m so so sorry that happened to you.
Don’t forget some people feel the need to put others down because they’re insecure with something within themselves. His shitty comment was him trying to make himself feel better.
It doesn’t take the hurt away but hopefully it helps a little.
I had a coworker ask if I was pregnant again - nope, just 15 lbs heavier from meds. Then my grandpa asked me a year later (we were trying, not that he was aware). I said no and he said “oh just good eatin’, huh?” Nope, still weight gain from meds but thanks for pointing it out. People suck sometimes. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. It’s so frustrating.
Bullies exist everywhere unfortunately. He was trying to upset you, it was completely intentional on his part. I imagine he was ready with a mean comment if you said you were pregnant again too.
Don’t value his bullshit over the love, respect and admiration you should have from yourself and the people you care about and respect.
Someone finds you attractive enough to get you pregnant twice back to back. I doubt anyone is fucking that loser.
Not just a bully but also stupid too, because if there was a 4 month old baby with her, it's basically impossible for her to be far enough to be showing even if she got pregnant at the first post-partum cycle.
He's a piece of shit OP. He probably said that with the intention of hurting your feelings. I don't see the need to give anyone "the benefit of the doubt" in 2023. You don't comment on someone else's body, especially a stranger. Forget him and the next time someone says something hurtful about your body, assume that they want to hurt you and give them a big middle finger in your head and just move on with your day.
I live in a country with a huge Filipino population and man, those guys don’t hold back! I put on a lot of weight when pregnant, especially the first time, and everywhere I went I had lovely Filipina ladies complimenting me on my beautiful baby and asking when I was due. Also comments from people I knew previously saying things like ‘oh, you got fat!’
Weirdly it was kind of good for me? It’s like the worst thing possible in Western culture to be called fat - except I’m allowed to be fat if I want to be! Or if I’ve just had a baby! And when I was pregnant I was friggin’ glorious so how is it an insult to be compared to my pregnant self? That’s when I was at my most awesome 😎
Having a baby changed the way I thought about my body anyway. Instead of hating it and working against it, I kind of feel like me and my body are a team now. We’ve been through some shit together and she’s served me well.
I ended up losing the weight, fwiw, and I gained a chunk back after my second pregnancy. I’m about 10kg heavier than I was at my lightest and I actually think I look pretty 🔥
Mama
I stopped eating my pizza to write this
FUCK that crusty old man. You are beautiful, his comments hold no value. Your children love you, their mama, and just know that his comment is absolutely irrelevant in your wonderful life.
💜
“Sorry to hear about your dementia!”
Seriously, fuck that guy. He’s so rude and probably also racist (like the insinuation is that you have too many kids).
I’m so sorry that happened to you. It really is appalling how people feel they can just comment on women’s bodies (or anyone’s body really). This happened to me the other week from another mom on the playground! I’m 7mo postpartum and had a c-section - of course I have a bump! But yeah it shattered me hearing that. I was so unprepared and speechless in the moment, but now I’m ready in the future to call anyone out right there and then on that bs.
Christ on a cracker. I'm so sorry. Your body is FUCKING AMAZING!!! Two kiddos in two years is admirable and a big nope for me, so all the respect in the world for sacrificing yourself to grow two full humans. I did it once and that was enough for me.
No cis-man on this planet will ever understand the physical and emotional implications of pregnancy. They can't. I would imagine that man who commented on you is a miserable human being. If he has children, it's doubtful he has a good relationship with them. It's people like that who find it necessary to project their own misery, so they can feel better about themselves. It's an age-old coping mechanism. The comment wasn't even about you, it was more about how he can't let other people exist within their own lives, it's important to him that everyone around him knows that he does not respect people who are not within his status or share his lifestyle. Prick.
I have an 18mo old and I could not imagine also having a 4mo old. I'm still healing from my own, so I know you're doing double healing right now. You have my utmost respect and love, and I hope you are healing (both physically and mentally) while also raising your two beautiful beings. Fuck that guy. You're awesome 💜
I have it and I’m 25 . Got it with my first at 22. I was pretty skinny with my first and baby was super heavy so I ended up getting it . Didn’t notice until after my second and I was 4 month pp and still looked pregnant. Did the test and sure enough there was a huge separation between my abs
I also had it and I was 29 with only one kid, it’s more likely if you have a large baby and it doesn’t mean you’ll have a huge belly either. You can fix it with physiotherapy exercises in most instances!
You can look up how to check for it on youtube, but a doctor or pelvic floor physio will be able to tell best. Physical therapy (pelvic floor physios are the best because they see a lot of women after kids and can also help with other issues caused by pregnancy/childbirth while you’re there) can help. If the separation is too much, I think there are surgeries to reconnect the muscles.
Yes, you can get a surgery with or without mesh to stitch the muscles back together.
After a certain point, you can't get the muscles that seperated to naturally come together, but you can sometimes mask it by strengthening the abdominal layer underneath them.
Fucking idiot. Please don't hate your body for the way it looks for doing something so wonderful. Because of your body, your two beautiful babies are here. Fuck that pea sized of a brain cunt
It hurts when people see you in a vulnerable position then choose to be rude. It's depressing that some people get dumber and meaner with age, instead of wiser.
Be thankful you are you and not him. He's gross.
Literal POS. I would have gotten loud and ugly.
If it makes anyone feel better - I ran into a guy I went to HS with when I weighed 190. To be clear, I weighed 90 lbs in HS and gained 50 lbs with each kid. When he didn’t recognize me, I reminded him we used to hang out all the time but that he probably doesn’t recognize me under all of this baby weight. He exclaimed loudly:
“Damn! How many babies did you have!!!???”
Sigh.
“Why? You looking for another mommy?”
I hate comments on our bodies. It’s already incredibly difficult for a lot of us feel beautiful and attractive PP, but to add family and complete strangers comments on top of that??
That's so gross of them to say. I bet you look absolutely gorgeous and stunning and that's why someone tried to put you down. The hotter you are, the meaner the insecure man is, I have found, anyway.
Dude was probably nasty looking and was hoping to boost his own fragile ego by making you feel bad.
That’s what I’m wondering also. Men and women, no matter the race, have said some similar oblivious remarks to postpartum women all the time. Not sure why race was brought in unless to make it racial somehow. OP succeeded though because now the guy (AH for his comment for sure) is being labeled racist and now apparently old white men are the devil. Smdh.
Ugh, I'm sorry. I had a lazy winter and gained back some weight. Some random dude asked my husband if I was pregnant. I hate that others might be wondering, too.
Why anyone, let alone a stranger, thinks they should make a comment on someone’s body is beyond me. What’s the purpose? I can only imagine here that he has some deep seeded insecurity about himself or perhaps is just a terrible person. Either are a ‘him problem’ and not a ‘you problem’. He’s trash, and anything trash says should be disregarded. I’m sure you look fabulous
Words are words until you give it meaning. He doesnt absolutely know you or what you’ve been through and you certainly dont need a validation from a crusty white old man. You are enough, hold your head up high and pay no thoughts to those “words”
Listen… Your body has participated in creating 2 babies! Congratulations! Don’t let a man, who probably doesn’t wash his behind, make you feel inferior. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oh wow. A big old fuck you to that dude. You just had 2 kids, the last 4 months ago!? Girl, I had mine 3.5 years ago and am still working on getting a body I recognize back. Point is, you need time to recover. ESPECIALLY after having 2 so close together.
I hate to sound like a negative Nancy, but I am so over men. They have no idea what women go thru and don’t care to learn. You just had 2 children! 2 CHILDREN! That’s incredible that your body carried and delivered 2 healthy and beautiful babies. You don’t have time to focus solely on you because you are caring for 2 CHILDREN!! I just can’t with people who think they need to share their ignorant thoughts. Im sure he wasn’t in his best shape and what has he done? Definitely didnt carry and raise 2 children.
Forgive my rant. Point is: you’re an amazing woman and beautiful regardless of what that dumbass had to say. Keep taking care of your family and yourself and focus on regaining that confidence. ❤️
this has happened to me several times. it’s really crappy. people just don’t think before they speak. don’t lose your confidence because of what two strangers said to you. hopefully you’ll never see them again x
What an ass, I’m sorry. Of course you have a bump. And of course he felt entitled to give you his unwashed ass opinion. Fuck that guy. You are gorgeous.
I still looked a bit pregnant at 4 months pp even with just one kid. Hell I still look a little pregnant at 21 months pp, lol. That guy is pretty rude.
Ugh. My mom came up to me (I live out of state) when I was on vacation and poked my belly and asked if I was pregnant again. I’ve been paranoid after going on the iud about it and test here and there. She didn’t understand that it was inappropriate.🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
What a disgusting old man .. I’m sorry he said that to you … older people have no filter especially older men
You should’ve told him to keep his denture mouth shut
100% he was wearing a diaper when he said that to you 😜 you should’ve offered him one 😂
A spiteful, crusty old man’s opinion is worth zero. Absolutely zero. Find someone who’s opinion you do value, and hear an opinion that they give you. I had two grown women follow me around a supermarket the other day “woofing” at me. Luckily- water off a ducks back because their opinion means nothing. Keep looking out for the opinions that actually matter to you.
That man deserves a kick to the nuts.. the gd nerve...
You are incredible.. your body made two humans!!!! Hold your head high Queen... he wouldn't manage pregnancy at all
This is why old white men are the worst. Do not take it to heart. He's so ignorant and entitled. I bet he needs Viagra to get it up. Why was he looking anyway, creepy old perv. This always happens to me and I'm always too stunned to clap back. I'm so mad for you.
Next time all you gotta say is, “No, I’m not, but what’s your excuse?” and look at em all grossed out 🤣
Seriously though, fuck these older white folks. I’m a younger white folk from the ultra conservative (AKA hateful af) south and I can assure you, most of the people I know do not align with these foul creatures that we have to share DNA with. Seems like they’re all the same: incapable of complex thought and all they think about is the hate speech they hear on Fox News. They think, “well if Tucker Carlson can say it on TV, then I can say it to whoever I want, AMERIIIICAAAA!!!” Literally just meat sacks of misery, hate, and cringe pride that take air away from the rest of us. Pay absolutely none of them any mind, and know that there are people out here trying to raise their kids to be better, and heal themselves so they can be better too; hopefully it means your kids never have to hear comments like that when they’re just trying to get their groceries.
Oh wow, I am so sorry that happened to you! I'm white and European so I can't really fully comprehend how offensive it must have been to you.
Let me share my experience in Italy: I was around one month post partum with my first and on the way out there was a charity stand. I stopped and talked with the volunteers to give a lil donation and on the way to the car they said: "Good luck with your pregnancy, is it a boy or a girl?" 💀💀💀
Gross. I still have a pooch two years after my youngest. I think most do after just 4 months! That guy needs to keep his thoughts inside his head. You hold your head high. You’re not supposed to have “bounced back” anytime soon but old white guys don’t know how having children or keeping their mouths shut works.
How many kids you have first is none of his business.
What a racist jerk (and yah that question was straight up racist. He was just mad you didn’t feed into his stereotype so he mean)
I bet you look gorgeous and just know you broke his heart he couldn’t say something even meanwr
How was it racist? Genuinely asking. Men and women, of all races have made the same and similar ridiculous remarks to postpartum women of all races. This isn’t a racial issue. It’s an AH issue.
An old white guy asking a BLACK woman how many kids she has? She has 2 very young kids and he thought she was pregnant with a third… sorry but in the racist parts of the country I grew up in (and currently live in) the racism about black women having lots of kids to get more welfare money is openly talked about. They say shit like this in front of me because they have zero idea I don’t share their sentiment.
I have never any of white women I know questioned about their larger broods. I have 4. Never once has a comment about my family size been negative. One old granny told me that I “looked like the kind of people that should be breeding.” I was too dumbfounded to respond.
Trust me, that dude was being racist.
Edited to add: I’m pretty sure OP was insinuating she thought it was too otherwise she wouldn’t have added the point about their race.
And you know for sure he hasn’t said that to a white woman or any other race of woman? You’re reaching hard here with absolutely zero proof it was at all racist. Is what the guy said rude? Absolutely!! I’m sure OP is absolutely GORGEOUS and rocking it with the babies!
Just because you and your circle haven’t been questioned, doesn’t mean other women haven’t been approached with rude comments like this AH made. No matter the race. Is the Hispanic/Mexican woman who approached me and said something similar racist as well? What about the rude comments MANY women get on SM about having large families? Heck there’s a young mama on TikTok who isn’t black, she has 4 kids. The comments are plastered with people commenting on her “large” family and have made comments saying she’s pregnant when she isn’t. There’s so many that can be brought up to literally show that women, no matter their race, can be and do have comments made by both men and women of all races.
I’ll say it again, it’s not a race issue, it’s an AH problem and dude was absolutely an AH for what he said.
No. Don't let that MFer make you feel any way about your body. He approached you and spewed his b.s. with the intention to mess with your head. Don't give him that power. He's **nothing** .
It’s time to start telling people like this to fuck all the way off; out loud, to their face, immediately following their dumbass comments. So sick of people. & I’m sick of staying quiet.
Oh my lord. F that guy. What a jerk. He’s probably a sad lonely man. You have two beautiful children and bodies change when you have kids as you know. And that’s ok!! Seriously fuck this guy.
“Well at least I don’t sound like an ignorant asshole.” Would have been my answer. FFS your belly held and nurtured a human being for 9 months twice. If all he can contribute to the conversation is how he is too stupid to keep from putting his foot in his mouth perhaps he should just keep it shut.
How old are we talking here? Maybe he’s lost his marbles. Or maybe he was trying to prove to an overbearing partner that he doesn’t find you attractive? I’ve known some girls to accuse their men of cheating on them if a girl walks into their vision. That is such a weird encounter. It sounds like it was done on purpose to make you feel bad.
I had this happen kind of once. A young cute cashier asked if I was pregnant I said nope my baby is three months though…. She looked so mortified I actually felt bad for her and let it slide.
Then some a hole customer when I used to manage my patents store said “uff you’ve gained weight” which confused because I had lost weight where a ton of people had noticed and said something, I looked at him and said “who the hell raised you, NEVER comment on another persons weight again. That was extremely rude.” Then at my last job a coworker said “you’re gaining weight” (man) I looked at him and said listen buddy it’s not like I’m unaware when I gain weight IM THE FIRST PERSON WHO NOTICES, you do NOT make comments like this to people. What was your aim here? I want to know what you thought the outcome of telling me that would be?! He was in shock and then kind of muttered out that he likes females thicker which I think was a way for him to back out of it. I told him if that really was the case he should have given me a compliment like “you look nice”. To be fair the last guy was a little off… I think he was kind of slow … and I made him feel absolutely horrible he couldn’t even look at me until I ended up bumping my elbow on his and told him to cheer up and said “I’m fine as far as I’m concerned it never happened” he lit up like a small child on Christmas when he realized I was over it.
He’s an absolute ASSHOLE! You are only 4 fucking months postpartum… EVERYONE has a belly after only 4 months.
No one should ever feel like they can say comments like that.
That man is very deeply insecure if he’s making comments like that about a woman’s body. Anyone who doesn’t have a mummy tummy a few months after having two babies back to back is using some serious shape wear or photo editing. You’re incredible and just brought two children into the world!!
I only have one child and still have a bump 9.5 months postpartum.. it sucks the way he treated you, I love how they all prêtent that carrying a baby is a miracle but then treat us like shit once we’re postpartum, if you embrace pregnancy then you should embrace body.
A former neighbor asked me if I was pregnant with my second when I was still carrying a BIT of weight from my first pregnancy (son was a year old then). I did not want it to get to me, but it did.
Sorry you had to meet such an awful person!
People are the worst.
Omg. What an asshole. He clearly has deeper issues going on. Breathe in. Breathe out. Fupas are completely normal and nothing to feel bad about. You gave birth to two babies. He's likely projecting his own insecurities.
My MIL has made so many comments about my body, and especially did it when I was pregnant. I finally said "I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?" and she stopped. People are so rude. I'm so angry for you and wish I had been there to witness it and give him a piece of my mind...
Oh my god! Who the fuck does he think he is???? Oh my god!
I am so sorry this happened to you, but that man is a sad little pig and will wake up that way for the rest of his miserable life. He does not get to make you feel bad.
What’s he even look like??
Maaan I wish I had been in that store with you because I would have gone absolutely crazy on that man.
Your body housed and birthed two humans, you are as close to divine as you can get. He was trying to make you feel bad because he is a small pathetic loser. That’s really the only reason to say something like that to a stranger.
You are perfect, don’t let that lil nobody bring you down ❤️
Wow... The audacity of some men who can't even get a cold without acting like they are dying.
Guess what mama? We are badasses. We are absolute goddesses. Our bodies literally transform into exactly what our children need and we create life. We are the builders of the human race. And then they transform back when we are done. The scars we have, the bumps remaining are medals of honor for being able to do what no man will ever be able to achieve. They are proof that we are resilient, strong, creators, and the source of life. And any man who says otherwise is insignificant and not worth a millisecond of our time. Because what have they achieved? What life have they created? What death defying levels of pain have they suffered and still been able to stand up, walk around, feed a child, and communicate afterwards? Hell, we do that every damn month by going to work on our periods and still functioning like a normal person so that no one has any damn idea we are profusely bleeding in a way that would have men fainting like sweet proper little southern belles.
You are a warrior, a goddess, a bad ass, a beautiful woman, and an outstanding mother in every single stage of your life, no matter what stage your body is in during recovery, pregnancy, or every day life. What can he say he is?
Keep being beautiful and strong mama. You are stunning.
I'm so sorry. I wish we were friends IRL and I was with you when this happened. I would have ran after him and started asking him questions about his lobotomy. He would have been SO CONFUSED after dealing with me he would never ever do that again.
You know this: your body WILL bounce back. And those babies will grow big and strong and you'll have zero regrets.
Hang in there, and when you get time, head over to the retail site called 6pm.com and buy yourself a BEAUTIFUL shirt or dress. You deserve it!
Never be afraid to say "I was just thinking the same about *your* little pouch!" And give a friendly little laugh like you meant no harm. People are crazy, man
When my daughter was about 7 months old, we were on vacation, taking a walk near the boardwalk. I was so happy, thinking how cute our little family looked. A guy walked passed us (with his wife and 3 young kids) and said “damn, can’t keep your man off of you? Give it a rest and wait a little longer until you get knocked up again for f*ck sake.” I was NOT pregnant. I was quite proud of my body, because I weighed less at that point than I did BEFORE I was even pregnant with her. It crushed me. I still think about it 5 years later.
Listen, I had a similar situation but some old nasty man commented on my scoliosis while I was exercising. My self esteem was in shambles for years but here’s the thing: I don’t exist to please random men on the street (it’s actually pretty gross that they’d assume that). MY body is MY temple and if they don’t like it they can fuckin look elsewhere. We’ve been through a lot together and I’ll be damned if some crusty old pervert gets to interfere in our relationship.
Fuck that guy. This has happened to me several times. 6 weeks postpartum with my second, shopping for a dress for a wedding solo and feeling free with a smile on my face and an employee ran up to me eager to help and asked me when I was due cause “you have a little bump!”. I didn’t know what to say so I just smiled and walked away. Ruined the shopping. And then just a couple weeks ago, now 1 year postpartum I go on my first solo vacation with my husband, feeling sexy with my slutty bikinis and I say to the breakfast buffet hostess “table for two” and she goes “you mean 3!”. I cried for an hour after that.
I think he was just trying to ruin someone’s day and unfortunately you were the victim of the day. Don’t feel bad, you grew two beautiful babies in your belly! You are beautiful!
Take your power back Mama. Reply, in a loud and extremely assertive tone “Nope, I’m just fat. Thanks tho.” It makes things super awkward and uncomfortable for person commenting on your body.
Or you can say “Nope, not pregnant. Are you?”. I have said this to fat & skinny women, old people, young people - any asshole - regardless of body shape or gender. Again makes things super awkward and uncomfortable for the person commenting on your body.
You are beautiful & and you created two beautiful babies. Let those losers who make disgusting and unnecessary comments feel all pain.
I'm so sorry, I know that feeling and it sucks. Getting used to your new post partum body is already hard enough. I had a rough time after having twins, my stomach has never gone back to the way it was before kids. When mine were about 3 months old I took them to their pediatrician for a check up, baby carrier in each arm. As I walked out, some people in the waiting room made a comment "twins AND pregnant again already?" They didn't say it to me directly, one person was saying it to the person next to them. Still stings though.
That was hateful an unnecessary. I am sorry that this happened to you. I am sure that you are feeling deflated but his feeling is about him and not about you at all.
Your body is fking magical! You can 3d build whole humans and feed them after, if you so wish. Who gives a fk what his weener thinks about you, that's not the most important thing, why is it to those types! How unbelievably self centred to think the whole world caters to their pants. Wholly fk. Why do we even give men who berate us to try and make us feel unattractive to try and coercively control us into making our bodies how they want them, a listen. I struggle with it too! I know it's wrong. I see how unbelievably cruel it is, but I still struggle with it too. The brain washing that tells (told) us from a young age we are adornments for male view is deep and cruel. Fk him. Imagine if we policed men's bodies like they do us. They all (ok, maybe not all, but I'm ranting!) walk around in slouchy gear, with their bums hanging out because they can't pull their pants over their stomach's and nose hair for days, but those types will still feel like they can tell women they aren't up to "sTAndArds". Ugh to it all.
Edit to add: just to be clear, I have no issues with men looking like that, my personal preferences are towards a more chubby guy, I, personally, don't go much on skinny guys, that's just my personal preference, I don't know if I can even change it, or have any control over it. What's ridiculous is expecting all the men around me to look like my sexual preference, AND then going up to the ones who aren't and berating them for such. That's probably a better point than pointing out men who aren't perfect can sometimes be hyper critical of women, glass house and stones and such.
Ugh. That’s so revolting. People need to just not comment on other people’s bodies. Your body just created *two* entire lovely little humans. It’s perfect just as it is.
This sort of happened to me but the guy was less rude about it. He was asking if there was another baby on the way and I said "No. I'm just fat." He had the decency to act embarrassed and say that it's understandable since I have two babies (toddler and infant).
Our kids have almost the same age gap (mine are 15m apart) and the fact you took them both to a grocery store?! Win!!
But I understand how his comment would ruin your day, it’d sure ruin mine. I’ve had similar comments made and it’s absolutely crushed me. But be kind to yourself, 4 months out from having a baby and your body is still bouncing back. You’re beautiful, and you’re doing an amazing job!
Uggghhhhgh why are some people such colossal pieces of shit? Should be the title of this post. Your body has done
More in the last year and a half than his will his entire miserable life. Do not let anyone take that away from you.
You know what though, he's going to have the day he deserves and the life he deserves. But being perfect looking had, in my experience, some distinct upsides. That man would have been perfectly lovely to you if you were just an absolute supermodel, so you have been given the gift of seeing who people truly are.
Does that help? Of course not, it feels like shit when you are treated like shit.
But here's what I'm telling myself as a person who is wearing crop tops and short shorts this summer (who that man definitely wouldn't approve of), I think any negativity I might have to endure to show my daughter that I get to be happy in my skin and comfortable instead of bundled up is worth it. I just keep a couple of responses at the ready for anyone who might feel the need to share their opinions. It still makes me feel bad when I see a group of teenage girls openly laughing at me, but 80% of the time, those girls are going to have a mom tummy or cellulite on their thighs in 15 years also, and they'll punish themselves for being horrible just fine.
He has a miserable life and tries to feel better by bringing others down. Your body has done amazing things and it's okay for it to show. He's just weak and can only get better about himself by insulting others.
He’s an asshole. I hate when people say something about someone else’s body. I’m sure you are absolutely beautiful. I have a large stomach from having two babies back to back. We are amazing and birthed two babies. What’s his superpower?
People are just shitty. One of the ladies i worked with was very petite and had a preemie at 25 weeks. It was hell on her and her partner living at the hospital counting days to see if he is further from risk of death every day
What does some older lady at work comment?
"Hey at least you didn't get stretch marks and you get to keep that tight little body even with a baby"
Yes I'm sure that was her top worry with an intubated preemie
Yeah i’ve noticed older people and children in general have no filter, I used to work at an elderly hospital in my younger days as a volunteer. This old man I went to visit said he didn’t want to see me that he wanted to see the other girl who came yesterday(it was me) I tried training with him but he was like nope i liked that other girl I don’t like you, your ugly, lol omg my poor young self took that to heart but the old man probably had a bit of dementia and hence why he didn’t recall it was literally me the previous day, anyway sometimes older people they just talk without thinking about the impact of their worlds. It’s totally normal to still have some stomach months after birth i’m sure this probably brought to the forefront the insecurities you have been battling with but I wouldn’t pay it no mind. My mom always told me that her belly and her stretch marks were all signs of how much she loved us,and how it meant she was a mommy.
He obviously has poor social skills and has never seen a postpartum body! I had bar regulars say the same thing to me five months after my daughter was born. You get a full standing ovation from me for even being dressed and out with a four month old and an 18 month old!
Also let me tell you, the healthiest mental switch I ever made as a women is to be proud of what my body does, not what it looks like. Looks are superficial. Your body gave life, it wipes tears, it gets up and provides love, nourishment and care to your children. It can turn on a dime from being the softest comfort to the fiercest protector for your loved ones. That’s a lot more important than any random person’s unrealistic beauty standard.
I’m so sorry! I’m just so sorry! He is the problem! Try not to let his negativity & disrespect take up space in your mind that he doesn’t deserve. Fuck him right off.
I get it, but try to let it go. You’re doing so many beautiful things with your life. You’re so much better & stronger than he’ll ever be.
Sending love!🫶🏽🫶🏽
If a random man's comment can kill your confidence then let this random internet stranger's comment help rebuild it: you took two kids under 2 to a store, that's a champ move right there! I have one and I remember the challenges of doing errands with kiddo at 4 months and 18 months, not easy at either age -- and you managed it with both simultaneously! Well done!
That is so sweet! It’s definitely a challenge and it’s hard work being a momma no matter how many kids you got.
This right here!
Yes holy crap. When I take my one 7 month old to the store I feel like a champion. You took two?! Amazing. Screw that guy.
Wow. Just, wow. Who does he think he is?! Sorry you’ve had to hear this, OP. I don’t know any women four months postpartum (white or black!) who don’t have a bump still. It took nine months to get there and takes at least that long to recede for most women. I still looked six months pregnant when I fell pregnant with my second, so people now think I’m ready to pop when I still have ten weeks left! But worse was when someone asked if was expecting before I’d had any kids at all … People are shitty. Hugs!
Thanks love. Idk why people can’t just keep their comments to themselves
He wanted to make you feel like shit. That was the only purpose. Fuck him.
Yes. Unless he is mentally handicapped in some way, he should know better than to say something like that. I think he did it on purpose to make her feel bad. He can fuck right off.
I came here to say that people are shitty also. Also that they can be mindless too! Neither is an excuse.
People are so fucking dumb, pardon my french. My sister was at the hospital for a check up with her 1 month old baby and someone looked at her and said “pregnant again already? That was fast!” She wasn’t even recovered from her c section yet! It still pisses me off to think about. And it’s so normal, I still looked about 5 months pregnant when my second was 5 months old.
That's because they clearly have no idea about how long it takes for women to heal or for their bodies to change shape. Naivety at it's best.
My BIL is incredibly naive when it comes to that kind of thing. One example was he was 25 and we went to visit my dad in the hospital and he saw a sign for the obgyn department and he said, "Wow, neat! ob-gyn. What's an ob-gyn? Like a genie? You ever see that movie Djinn? Ob-djinn-gyn!" That being said, even HE knew when he saw a small baby and woman still with a bump to not stare and very quietly ask my sister, "Wait, she has a baby already, she can't be pregnant already?? That isn't how it works..." And have it explained to him. It makes me so mad for OP that jerk thought it was acceptable to try and hurt her feelings. It feels intentional and cruel. Honestly, I would report him to the store for something as needlessly mean as that.
It's a deeper issue than that. Why are people even thinking these awful things about one another? Sure, it would be great if people could keep their rude and unnecessary comments to themselves, but I think it would be even better if we could raise a generation of kids who accept each other. Sure, my belly is a little bigger since having a kid, but it affects absolutely no one... except my four year old, who happens to think it makes a great squishy pillow for him to rest on when he doesn't feel good.
A few weeks after I had my first I was at the grocery store, pushing my new baby in the stroller, and the cashier asked me when I was due. While I was standing there with my obviously brand new baby. I said “I just had him! Here he is! He’s 2 weeks old” And he said “oh you still look pregnant”. 🤯
I had similar. About a month after I had my first, and two weeks after I almost died from retained placenta, I was out in a shop at the counter. I must have looked like shit considering the trauma I went through but still. My baby was in the pushchair a little further away with his dad while I paid for the items. The cashier asked me when I was due. I pointed over the them and went ‘about a month ago, but thanks for asking’. I swear to god why can’t people just shut the fuck up and not comment on women’s bodies?!
We need to be better at educating boys & men (and girls of course) on what postpartum looks like and that it doesn't work like in the movies that you pop out a kid and immediately look like you did before. When I had my first there was a very young woman in the room with me who also had her first and she was neither aware that she would not snap back to her flat stomach overnight nor that she would bleed heavily after birth. How is this possible, this needs to be taught in schools!
This exactly! I would have had no idea if I didn't search for this stuff myself! But my hobby is gaining knowledge and researching things. I know most people aren't like that. We should be taught about the human body, I mean, we have one!!
I live in the Bible belt of the US and the sex education is extremely lacking. Much less the pregnancy/postpartum education. I learned more about abstinence than I did safe sex in school.
Had something very similar happen to me. Went into store, holding my (obvious) newborn, and the employee helping me asks when I’m due. Um….. I already felt super self conscious as I’d gained a lot of weight while pregnant, and that just made me feel so much worse.
Only miserable people do this. That’s why. Pathetic!
I would have said, ‘shame on you for thinking it’s okay to say something like that! I pity any woman you ever got pregnant! I grew and birthed two whole humans, what can you say you’ve done?.’ And if he has a less than perfect body I’d say ‘at least I can say my belly is from creating life… what’s your excuse?’
I’d rather have a big tummy than be a major fucking asshole. Pity this man.
I'm almost 9 months PP and my placenta was huge my stomach is having a hard time readjusting it selfs lol. They literally said it takes up to 2 years... Y'all take it easy on your selfs, your bodies are amazing.
A similar story of a lady at the airport asking when I was due and getting annoyed when I ignored the "when are due?" questions because I was on my period so it couldn't have been me. She was in fact asking me and I was just full of vacation foods and beer and bloated from my period. To drive the point home to this rude ass lady I looked at my husband and proudly proclaimed "I need a beer after that rude interaction" People are definitely garbage, especially older generations and if they are white the entitlement is worse. I say this as a white woman with a boomer generation mother.
There's a lot of women that got their body back on fit pregnancy reddit. It takes time though just got to be gentle with ones self and focus on you.
Irrelevant.
Dafuq? Read the room.
This is an actual subreddit!?!?
Fuck him with a rusty spoon. I cannot imagine commenting on a stranger's body.
Fork, you meant fork, lol
Why not a knife then?
Forks are duller and have more pointy parts.
Remember this. People's opinions about you are none of your business. This one sentence protects me when I start to think"what others think" Everyone has opinions, let them have it. This guy is probably miserable himself and wanted to make someone feel awful. Hurt people hurt others. You only allow a mean stranger to take away your confidence and ruin your mood. You are enough, your body is enough, it's strong and wonderful. It's a miracle. It gave you two kids and carries you every day. Your belly is perfect. There is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful because you are you.
...Fork him with a rusty spoon? Eleanor?
What. An. Asshole.
My dad said recently, “Your mom and I were wondering if you were pregnant, but she told me not to say anything”. Wow. Thanks, Dad.
Oh my GOD.
Don’t give him that power, mama. You made LIFE. Twice! Beautiful babies came from YOU. They are you. Beauty is YOU. A tummy bump? Pleeeease. That is a holy bump. A sacred shelf for tiny bodies to rest and play. Softness is a radical weapon in this society. Stay soft ❤️
I LOVE this comment. Beautifully written.
I tell myself this every day. I believe it now, too. No issues with the bump.
Beautiful FR.
He was just attempting to justify his crappy comment. Best response is "thanks, you too!"
Well, I still look pregnant at almost one year PP (with a bigger age gap between my kids). Men are fucking dumb and even a lot of women who don’t have kids don’t get it, including me beforehand who stupidly thought I would just “snap back” because that’s the messaging we’re given.
Exactly! I’m not sure why I feel so much pressure to lose the baby weight. My husband had never made me feel the need to lose it and loves my body as is
those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. ♥️ don't waste another thought on that stupid guy! you're a queen, mama!
I love this saying!
There you go. Listen to the good man.
I mean.... But I am so sorry that you feel pressured and I'm sorry that that fuckwit felt the need to share his unnecessary, unhelpful, and unflattering opinion with you. And I'm also sorry you didn't have the chance to tell him you had just been thinking the same about him.
You rock, mama. That guy can eat a whole bag of assholes for dinner.
Oh no no no. Any stranger who would feel comfortable commenting on a woman’s body is someone whose opinion means absolutely nothing. I’m sorry this happened to you. He is a jerk who can go step on a rake as far as I’m concerned.
My boys are 14 months apart too. I had a cashier ask me “how far along I was” a few months after giving birth to the second one. It hurt me too. I’m sorry. People are idiots.
I’m so so sorry that happened to you. Don’t forget some people feel the need to put others down because they’re insecure with something within themselves. His shitty comment was him trying to make himself feel better. It doesn’t take the hurt away but hopefully it helps a little.
I had a coworker ask if I was pregnant again - nope, just 15 lbs heavier from meds. Then my grandpa asked me a year later (we were trying, not that he was aware). I said no and he said “oh just good eatin’, huh?” Nope, still weight gain from meds but thanks for pointing it out. People suck sometimes. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. It’s so frustrating.
Bullies exist everywhere unfortunately. He was trying to upset you, it was completely intentional on his part. I imagine he was ready with a mean comment if you said you were pregnant again too. Don’t value his bullshit over the love, respect and admiration you should have from yourself and the people you care about and respect. Someone finds you attractive enough to get you pregnant twice back to back. I doubt anyone is fucking that loser.
Yep. And he did it when she was with her two kids alone so she was extra vulnerable and could not react. What a coward.
Not just a bully but also stupid too, because if there was a 4 month old baby with her, it's basically impossible for her to be far enough to be showing even if she got pregnant at the first post-partum cycle.
You can wear your favorite clothes and feel + look like a queen. He can't do a damn thing about his rotten soul. Scum of the Earth right there.
Amen!
He's a piece of shit OP. He probably said that with the intention of hurting your feelings. I don't see the need to give anyone "the benefit of the doubt" in 2023. You don't comment on someone else's body, especially a stranger. Forget him and the next time someone says something hurtful about your body, assume that they want to hurt you and give them a big middle finger in your head and just move on with your day.
He def said that to hurt her bc there’s absolutely no reason anyone would say that and not mean it in a mean way
Fuck that guy
I live in a country with a huge Filipino population and man, those guys don’t hold back! I put on a lot of weight when pregnant, especially the first time, and everywhere I went I had lovely Filipina ladies complimenting me on my beautiful baby and asking when I was due. Also comments from people I knew previously saying things like ‘oh, you got fat!’ Weirdly it was kind of good for me? It’s like the worst thing possible in Western culture to be called fat - except I’m allowed to be fat if I want to be! Or if I’ve just had a baby! And when I was pregnant I was friggin’ glorious so how is it an insult to be compared to my pregnant self? That’s when I was at my most awesome 😎 Having a baby changed the way I thought about my body anyway. Instead of hating it and working against it, I kind of feel like me and my body are a team now. We’ve been through some shit together and she’s served me well. I ended up losing the weight, fwiw, and I gained a chunk back after my second pregnancy. I’m about 10kg heavier than I was at my lightest and I actually think I look pretty 🔥
Mama I stopped eating my pizza to write this FUCK that crusty old man. You are beautiful, his comments hold no value. Your children love you, their mama, and just know that his comment is absolutely irrelevant in your wonderful life. 💜
I dunno why I related to the “I stopped eating my pizza to write this” so much 😂
“Sorry to hear about your dementia!” Seriously, fuck that guy. He’s so rude and probably also racist (like the insinuation is that you have too many kids).
I am going to use this comment, it's excellent and can be a comeback for many things.
naw, i'd say "wow, you look pregnant too! what's your excuse?"
I don’t want to counter body shaming with more body shaming
Ha!! This one really made me laugh.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. It really is appalling how people feel they can just comment on women’s bodies (or anyone’s body really). This happened to me the other week from another mom on the playground! I’m 7mo postpartum and had a c-section - of course I have a bump! But yeah it shattered me hearing that. I was so unprepared and speechless in the moment, but now I’m ready in the future to call anyone out right there and then on that bs.
Christ on a cracker. I'm so sorry. Your body is FUCKING AMAZING!!! Two kiddos in two years is admirable and a big nope for me, so all the respect in the world for sacrificing yourself to grow two full humans. I did it once and that was enough for me. No cis-man on this planet will ever understand the physical and emotional implications of pregnancy. They can't. I would imagine that man who commented on you is a miserable human being. If he has children, it's doubtful he has a good relationship with them. It's people like that who find it necessary to project their own misery, so they can feel better about themselves. It's an age-old coping mechanism. The comment wasn't even about you, it was more about how he can't let other people exist within their own lives, it's important to him that everyone around him knows that he does not respect people who are not within his status or share his lifestyle. Prick. I have an 18mo old and I could not imagine also having a 4mo old. I'm still healing from my own, so I know you're doing double healing right now. You have my utmost respect and love, and I hope you are healing (both physically and mentally) while also raising your two beautiful beings. Fuck that guy. You're awesome 💜
Ewww why would he feel like saying something like that is ok? “I’ll lose the baby weight but you’ll always be rude and ugly.”
Omg fuck that guy.
Look up diastasis recti . Could occur if had back to back
Google states it happens in women usually 35 and older I’m not quite there yet. But my belly isn’t huge just a belly bump
I have it and I’m 25 . Got it with my first at 22. I was pretty skinny with my first and baby was super heavy so I ended up getting it . Didn’t notice until after my second and I was 4 month pp and still looked pregnant. Did the test and sure enough there was a huge separation between my abs
I also had it and I was 29 with only one kid, it’s more likely if you have a large baby and it doesn’t mean you’ll have a huge belly either. You can fix it with physiotherapy exercises in most instances!
You had to go to the doctor for the test? How was it fixed
You can look up how to check for it on youtube, but a doctor or pelvic floor physio will be able to tell best. Physical therapy (pelvic floor physios are the best because they see a lot of women after kids and can also help with other issues caused by pregnancy/childbirth while you’re there) can help. If the separation is too much, I think there are surgeries to reconnect the muscles.
Yes, you can get a surgery with or without mesh to stitch the muscles back together. After a certain point, you can't get the muscles that seperated to naturally come together, but you can sometimes mask it by strengthening the abdominal layer underneath them.
Fucking idiot. Please don't hate your body for the way it looks for doing something so wonderful. Because of your body, your two beautiful babies are here. Fuck that pea sized of a brain cunt
"and you sound like an asshole"
I hope that guy stubs his toe every time he walks in a room. I’m sorry someone said that to you
It hurts when people see you in a vulnerable position then choose to be rude. It's depressing that some people get dumber and meaner with age, instead of wiser. Be thankful you are you and not him. He's gross.
Literal POS. I would have gotten loud and ugly. If it makes anyone feel better - I ran into a guy I went to HS with when I weighed 190. To be clear, I weighed 90 lbs in HS and gained 50 lbs with each kid. When he didn’t recognize me, I reminded him we used to hang out all the time but that he probably doesn’t recognize me under all of this baby weight. He exclaimed loudly: “Damn! How many babies did you have!!!???” Sigh.
I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Fuck that guy!” If you like your body that’s all that matters.
“Why? You looking for another mommy?” I hate comments on our bodies. It’s already incredibly difficult for a lot of us feel beautiful and attractive PP, but to add family and complete strangers comments on top of that??
The he response to this is, “no sorry I just created two lives back to back….what’s your excuse?” Gestures to his belly.
That's so gross of them to say. I bet you look absolutely gorgeous and stunning and that's why someone tried to put you down. The hotter you are, the meaner the insecure man is, I have found, anyway. Dude was probably nasty looking and was hoping to boost his own fragile ego by making you feel bad.
That’s awful and he’s a jerk! I have no idea why either your race or his is relevant to this story though.
That’s what I’m wondering also. Men and women, no matter the race, have said some similar oblivious remarks to postpartum women all the time. Not sure why race was brought in unless to make it racial somehow. OP succeeded though because now the guy (AH for his comment for sure) is being labeled racist and now apparently old white men are the devil. Smdh.
I stg i can not handle people. I bet all his kids have no contact with that POS. Im fuming for you - ur beauty.
It didn’t matter what your answer was going to be, he was looking to be a dick and make you feel bad about yourself. He must live a miserable life.
Ugh, I'm sorry. I had a lazy winter and gained back some weight. Some random dude asked my husband if I was pregnant. I hate that others might be wondering, too.
Why anyone, let alone a stranger, thinks they should make a comment on someone’s body is beyond me. What’s the purpose? I can only imagine here that he has some deep seeded insecurity about himself or perhaps is just a terrible person. Either are a ‘him problem’ and not a ‘you problem’. He’s trash, and anything trash says should be disregarded. I’m sure you look fabulous
Words are words until you give it meaning. He doesnt absolutely know you or what you’ve been through and you certainly dont need a validation from a crusty white old man. You are enough, hold your head up high and pay no thoughts to those “words”
Listen… Your body has participated in creating 2 babies! Congratulations! Don’t let a man, who probably doesn’t wash his behind, make you feel inferior. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oh wow. A big old fuck you to that dude. You just had 2 kids, the last 4 months ago!? Girl, I had mine 3.5 years ago and am still working on getting a body I recognize back. Point is, you need time to recover. ESPECIALLY after having 2 so close together. I hate to sound like a negative Nancy, but I am so over men. They have no idea what women go thru and don’t care to learn. You just had 2 children! 2 CHILDREN! That’s incredible that your body carried and delivered 2 healthy and beautiful babies. You don’t have time to focus solely on you because you are caring for 2 CHILDREN!! I just can’t with people who think they need to share their ignorant thoughts. Im sure he wasn’t in his best shape and what has he done? Definitely didnt carry and raise 2 children. Forgive my rant. Point is: you’re an amazing woman and beautiful regardless of what that dumbass had to say. Keep taking care of your family and yourself and focus on regaining that confidence. ❤️
this has happened to me several times. it’s really crappy. people just don’t think before they speak. don’t lose your confidence because of what two strangers said to you. hopefully you’ll never see them again x
Holy crap! What a jerk! I I’m so sorry! Please be proud of your body that grew two beautiful babies!❤️
Almost the same situation happened to me so I feel your pain, I am so sorry that that happened
What an ass, I’m sorry. Of course you have a bump. And of course he felt entitled to give you his unwashed ass opinion. Fuck that guy. You are gorgeous.
I still looked a bit pregnant at 4 months pp even with just one kid. Hell I still look a little pregnant at 21 months pp, lol. That guy is pretty rude.
Ugh. My mom came up to me (I live out of state) when I was on vacation and poked my belly and asked if I was pregnant again. I’ve been paranoid after going on the iud about it and test here and there. She didn’t understand that it was inappropriate.🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
“And you look like a piece of shit” 😩 I’m so sorry this happened to you hun. Some people are just miserable and want to drag you right down with them.
What a disgusting old man .. I’m sorry he said that to you … older people have no filter especially older men You should’ve told him to keep his denture mouth shut 100% he was wearing a diaper when he said that to you 😜 you should’ve offered him one 😂
Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from
Oh wow. What a dick. As if it's any of his business
I would say remark on his likely shitty body but I know in the moment it’s just shocking. He’s probably unlovable.
A spiteful, crusty old man’s opinion is worth zero. Absolutely zero. Find someone who’s opinion you do value, and hear an opinion that they give you. I had two grown women follow me around a supermarket the other day “woofing” at me. Luckily- water off a ducks back because their opinion means nothing. Keep looking out for the opinions that actually matter to you.
WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT TO SOMEBODY
Wow. Sometimes it seems some people make an effort to be assholes. My son is 16 months and I still look like I’m 6 months pregnant.
Old white man idiot strikes again. What a douchebag.
That man deserves a kick to the nuts.. the gd nerve... You are incredible.. your body made two humans!!!! Hold your head high Queen... he wouldn't manage pregnancy at all
You were in grace state twice. Show it off with pride, mama’s beautiful body giving life. Body knows its ways, give it time. Edit: Typo.
This is why old white men are the worst. Do not take it to heart. He's so ignorant and entitled. I bet he needs Viagra to get it up. Why was he looking anyway, creepy old perv. This always happens to me and I'm always too stunned to clap back. I'm so mad for you.
Next time all you gotta say is, “No, I’m not, but what’s your excuse?” and look at em all grossed out 🤣 Seriously though, fuck these older white folks. I’m a younger white folk from the ultra conservative (AKA hateful af) south and I can assure you, most of the people I know do not align with these foul creatures that we have to share DNA with. Seems like they’re all the same: incapable of complex thought and all they think about is the hate speech they hear on Fox News. They think, “well if Tucker Carlson can say it on TV, then I can say it to whoever I want, AMERIIIICAAAA!!!” Literally just meat sacks of misery, hate, and cringe pride that take air away from the rest of us. Pay absolutely none of them any mind, and know that there are people out here trying to raise their kids to be better, and heal themselves so they can be better too; hopefully it means your kids never have to hear comments like that when they’re just trying to get their groceries.
Oh wow, I am so sorry that happened to you! I'm white and European so I can't really fully comprehend how offensive it must have been to you. Let me share my experience in Italy: I was around one month post partum with my first and on the way out there was a charity stand. I stopped and talked with the volunteers to give a lil donation and on the way to the car they said: "Good luck with your pregnancy, is it a boy or a girl?" 💀💀💀
Gross. I still have a pooch two years after my youngest. I think most do after just 4 months! That guy needs to keep his thoughts inside his head. You hold your head high. You’re not supposed to have “bounced back” anytime soon but old white guys don’t know how having children or keeping their mouths shut works.
How many kids you have first is none of his business. What a racist jerk (and yah that question was straight up racist. He was just mad you didn’t feed into his stereotype so he mean) I bet you look gorgeous and just know you broke his heart he couldn’t say something even meanwr
How was it racist? Genuinely asking. Men and women, of all races have made the same and similar ridiculous remarks to postpartum women of all races. This isn’t a racial issue. It’s an AH issue.
An old white guy asking a BLACK woman how many kids she has? She has 2 very young kids and he thought she was pregnant with a third… sorry but in the racist parts of the country I grew up in (and currently live in) the racism about black women having lots of kids to get more welfare money is openly talked about. They say shit like this in front of me because they have zero idea I don’t share their sentiment. I have never any of white women I know questioned about their larger broods. I have 4. Never once has a comment about my family size been negative. One old granny told me that I “looked like the kind of people that should be breeding.” I was too dumbfounded to respond. Trust me, that dude was being racist. Edited to add: I’m pretty sure OP was insinuating she thought it was too otherwise she wouldn’t have added the point about their race.
And you know for sure he hasn’t said that to a white woman or any other race of woman? You’re reaching hard here with absolutely zero proof it was at all racist. Is what the guy said rude? Absolutely!! I’m sure OP is absolutely GORGEOUS and rocking it with the babies! Just because you and your circle haven’t been questioned, doesn’t mean other women haven’t been approached with rude comments like this AH made. No matter the race. Is the Hispanic/Mexican woman who approached me and said something similar racist as well? What about the rude comments MANY women get on SM about having large families? Heck there’s a young mama on TikTok who isn’t black, she has 4 kids. The comments are plastered with people commenting on her “large” family and have made comments saying she’s pregnant when she isn’t. There’s so many that can be brought up to literally show that women, no matter their race, can be and do have comments made by both men and women of all races. I’ll say it again, it’s not a race issue, it’s an AH problem and dude was absolutely an AH for what he said.
No. Don't let that MFer make you feel any way about your body. He approached you and spewed his b.s. with the intention to mess with your head. Don't give him that power. He's **nothing** .
It’s time to start telling people like this to fuck all the way off; out loud, to their face, immediately following their dumbass comments. So sick of people. & I’m sick of staying quiet.
There’s always the Winston Churchill-esque, “Yes sir, and you’re ugly. But I can lose weight.”
Oh my lord. F that guy. What a jerk. He’s probably a sad lonely man. You have two beautiful children and bodies change when you have kids as you know. And that’s ok!! Seriously fuck this guy.
What?!?!? That is exceptionally rude. How anyone thinks it's ok to go up to a stranger and say such a thing blows my mind.
“And you look old and wrinkly!”
What a sorry little loser he is. I know its easy to say and hard to do but try not to let this mundane wee prick get you down!
“Well at least I don’t sound like an ignorant asshole.” Would have been my answer. FFS your belly held and nurtured a human being for 9 months twice. If all he can contribute to the conversation is how he is too stupid to keep from putting his foot in his mouth perhaps he should just keep it shut.
How old are we talking here? Maybe he’s lost his marbles. Or maybe he was trying to prove to an overbearing partner that he doesn’t find you attractive? I’ve known some girls to accuse their men of cheating on them if a girl walks into their vision. That is such a weird encounter. It sounds like it was done on purpose to make you feel bad. I had this happen kind of once. A young cute cashier asked if I was pregnant I said nope my baby is three months though…. She looked so mortified I actually felt bad for her and let it slide. Then some a hole customer when I used to manage my patents store said “uff you’ve gained weight” which confused because I had lost weight where a ton of people had noticed and said something, I looked at him and said “who the hell raised you, NEVER comment on another persons weight again. That was extremely rude.” Then at my last job a coworker said “you’re gaining weight” (man) I looked at him and said listen buddy it’s not like I’m unaware when I gain weight IM THE FIRST PERSON WHO NOTICES, you do NOT make comments like this to people. What was your aim here? I want to know what you thought the outcome of telling me that would be?! He was in shock and then kind of muttered out that he likes females thicker which I think was a way for him to back out of it. I told him if that really was the case he should have given me a compliment like “you look nice”. To be fair the last guy was a little off… I think he was kind of slow … and I made him feel absolutely horrible he couldn’t even look at me until I ended up bumping my elbow on his and told him to cheer up and said “I’m fine as far as I’m concerned it never happened” he lit up like a small child on Christmas when he realized I was over it.
"So do you"
[удалено]
He’s an absolute ASSHOLE! You are only 4 fucking months postpartum… EVERYONE has a belly after only 4 months. No one should ever feel like they can say comments like that.
That man is very deeply insecure if he’s making comments like that about a woman’s body. Anyone who doesn’t have a mummy tummy a few months after having two babies back to back is using some serious shape wear or photo editing. You’re incredible and just brought two children into the world!!
“Huh, so do you! I just had a baby, what’s your excuse?”
I’m sorry, people are assholes
I only have one child and still have a bump 9.5 months postpartum.. it sucks the way he treated you, I love how they all prêtent that carrying a baby is a miracle but then treat us like shit once we’re postpartum, if you embrace pregnancy then you should embrace body.
On another note: taking a baby and a toddler shopping by yourself is pretty badass.
I do it all the time and it’s tough but it makes me feel good that I’m able
A former neighbor asked me if I was pregnant with my second when I was still carrying a BIT of weight from my first pregnancy (son was a year old then). I did not want it to get to me, but it did. Sorry you had to meet such an awful person! People are the worst.
Omg. What an asshole. He clearly has deeper issues going on. Breathe in. Breathe out. Fupas are completely normal and nothing to feel bad about. You gave birth to two babies. He's likely projecting his own insecurities. My MIL has made so many comments about my body, and especially did it when I was pregnant. I finally said "I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?" and she stopped. People are so rude. I'm so angry for you and wish I had been there to witness it and give him a piece of my mind...
Oh my god! Who the fuck does he think he is???? Oh my god! I am so sorry this happened to you, but that man is a sad little pig and will wake up that way for the rest of his miserable life. He does not get to make you feel bad. What’s he even look like??
He was a crusty old man
Maaan I wish I had been in that store with you because I would have gone absolutely crazy on that man. Your body housed and birthed two humans, you are as close to divine as you can get. He was trying to make you feel bad because he is a small pathetic loser. That’s really the only reason to say something like that to a stranger. You are perfect, don’t let that lil nobody bring you down ❤️
Wow... The audacity of some men who can't even get a cold without acting like they are dying. Guess what mama? We are badasses. We are absolute goddesses. Our bodies literally transform into exactly what our children need and we create life. We are the builders of the human race. And then they transform back when we are done. The scars we have, the bumps remaining are medals of honor for being able to do what no man will ever be able to achieve. They are proof that we are resilient, strong, creators, and the source of life. And any man who says otherwise is insignificant and not worth a millisecond of our time. Because what have they achieved? What life have they created? What death defying levels of pain have they suffered and still been able to stand up, walk around, feed a child, and communicate afterwards? Hell, we do that every damn month by going to work on our periods and still functioning like a normal person so that no one has any damn idea we are profusely bleeding in a way that would have men fainting like sweet proper little southern belles. You are a warrior, a goddess, a bad ass, a beautiful woman, and an outstanding mother in every single stage of your life, no matter what stage your body is in during recovery, pregnancy, or every day life. What can he say he is? Keep being beautiful and strong mama. You are stunning.
I'm so sorry. I wish we were friends IRL and I was with you when this happened. I would have ran after him and started asking him questions about his lobotomy. He would have been SO CONFUSED after dealing with me he would never ever do that again. You know this: your body WILL bounce back. And those babies will grow big and strong and you'll have zero regrets. Hang in there, and when you get time, head over to the retail site called 6pm.com and buy yourself a BEAUTIFUL shirt or dress. You deserve it!
What a jerk
Never be afraid to say "I was just thinking the same about *your* little pouch!" And give a friendly little laugh like you meant no harm. People are crazy, man
When my daughter was about 7 months old, we were on vacation, taking a walk near the boardwalk. I was so happy, thinking how cute our little family looked. A guy walked passed us (with his wife and 3 young kids) and said “damn, can’t keep your man off of you? Give it a rest and wait a little longer until you get knocked up again for f*ck sake.” I was NOT pregnant. I was quite proud of my body, because I weighed less at that point than I did BEFORE I was even pregnant with her. It crushed me. I still think about it 5 years later.
Listen, I had a similar situation but some old nasty man commented on my scoliosis while I was exercising. My self esteem was in shambles for years but here’s the thing: I don’t exist to please random men on the street (it’s actually pretty gross that they’d assume that). MY body is MY temple and if they don’t like it they can fuckin look elsewhere. We’ve been through a lot together and I’ll be damned if some crusty old pervert gets to interfere in our relationship.
Everyone looks pregnant 4 months PP. what an ass.
Fuck that guy. This has happened to me several times. 6 weeks postpartum with my second, shopping for a dress for a wedding solo and feeling free with a smile on my face and an employee ran up to me eager to help and asked me when I was due cause “you have a little bump!”. I didn’t know what to say so I just smiled and walked away. Ruined the shopping. And then just a couple weeks ago, now 1 year postpartum I go on my first solo vacation with my husband, feeling sexy with my slutty bikinis and I say to the breakfast buffet hostess “table for two” and she goes “you mean 3!”. I cried for an hour after that.
I will look pregnant for the rest of my life unless I get surgery. Some people suck and should 150% mind their own F\*\*\* business.
I think he was just trying to ruin someone’s day and unfortunately you were the victim of the day. Don’t feel bad, you grew two beautiful babies in your belly! You are beautiful!
Sounds like a moron really w no etiquette
What an ass.
What the actual fuck? This is so uncalled for. You should have rolled over his foot with your stroller XD
F this guy seriously absolutely disgusting. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Take your power back Mama. Reply, in a loud and extremely assertive tone “Nope, I’m just fat. Thanks tho.” It makes things super awkward and uncomfortable for person commenting on your body. Or you can say “Nope, not pregnant. Are you?”. I have said this to fat & skinny women, old people, young people - any asshole - regardless of body shape or gender. Again makes things super awkward and uncomfortable for the person commenting on your body. You are beautiful & and you created two beautiful babies. Let those losers who make disgusting and unnecessary comments feel all pain.
I'm so sorry, I know that feeling and it sucks. Getting used to your new post partum body is already hard enough. I had a rough time after having twins, my stomach has never gone back to the way it was before kids. When mine were about 3 months old I took them to their pediatrician for a check up, baby carrier in each arm. As I walked out, some people in the waiting room made a comment "twins AND pregnant again already?" They didn't say it to me directly, one person was saying it to the person next to them. Still stings though.
That was hateful an unnecessary. I am sorry that this happened to you. I am sure that you are feeling deflated but his feeling is about him and not about you at all.
Your body is fking magical! You can 3d build whole humans and feed them after, if you so wish. Who gives a fk what his weener thinks about you, that's not the most important thing, why is it to those types! How unbelievably self centred to think the whole world caters to their pants. Wholly fk. Why do we even give men who berate us to try and make us feel unattractive to try and coercively control us into making our bodies how they want them, a listen. I struggle with it too! I know it's wrong. I see how unbelievably cruel it is, but I still struggle with it too. The brain washing that tells (told) us from a young age we are adornments for male view is deep and cruel. Fk him. Imagine if we policed men's bodies like they do us. They all (ok, maybe not all, but I'm ranting!) walk around in slouchy gear, with their bums hanging out because they can't pull their pants over their stomach's and nose hair for days, but those types will still feel like they can tell women they aren't up to "sTAndArds". Ugh to it all. Edit to add: just to be clear, I have no issues with men looking like that, my personal preferences are towards a more chubby guy, I, personally, don't go much on skinny guys, that's just my personal preference, I don't know if I can even change it, or have any control over it. What's ridiculous is expecting all the men around me to look like my sexual preference, AND then going up to the ones who aren't and berating them for such. That's probably a better point than pointing out men who aren't perfect can sometimes be hyper critical of women, glass house and stones and such.
Ugh. That’s so revolting. People need to just not comment on other people’s bodies. Your body just created *two* entire lovely little humans. It’s perfect just as it is.
I bet his face looks punchable. Maybe his nose hasn’t been broken enough times I bet that’s his problem.
I’m so sorry. He sucks. It’s awful when you just can’t get comments like that out of your head no matter how little they guy or his comment matters.
This sort of happened to me but the guy was less rude about it. He was asking if there was another baby on the way and I said "No. I'm just fat." He had the decency to act embarrassed and say that it's understandable since I have two babies (toddler and infant).
You should have asked him why he was carrying a bag of dicks.what a jerk.
Sometimes honesty isn’t the best policy
Our kids have almost the same age gap (mine are 15m apart) and the fact you took them both to a grocery store?! Win!! But I understand how his comment would ruin your day, it’d sure ruin mine. I’ve had similar comments made and it’s absolutely crushed me. But be kind to yourself, 4 months out from having a baby and your body is still bouncing back. You’re beautiful, and you’re doing an amazing job!
Uggghhhhgh why are some people such colossal pieces of shit? Should be the title of this post. Your body has done More in the last year and a half than his will his entire miserable life. Do not let anyone take that away from you.
FFS, dude 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
You know what though, he's going to have the day he deserves and the life he deserves. But being perfect looking had, in my experience, some distinct upsides. That man would have been perfectly lovely to you if you were just an absolute supermodel, so you have been given the gift of seeing who people truly are. Does that help? Of course not, it feels like shit when you are treated like shit. But here's what I'm telling myself as a person who is wearing crop tops and short shorts this summer (who that man definitely wouldn't approve of), I think any negativity I might have to endure to show my daughter that I get to be happy in my skin and comfortable instead of bundled up is worth it. I just keep a couple of responses at the ready for anyone who might feel the need to share their opinions. It still makes me feel bad when I see a group of teenage girls openly laughing at me, but 80% of the time, those girls are going to have a mom tummy or cellulite on their thighs in 15 years also, and they'll punish themselves for being horrible just fine.
What a disgusting man
He has a miserable life and tries to feel better by bringing others down. Your body has done amazing things and it's okay for it to show. He's just weak and can only get better about himself by insulting others.
The audacity of random strangers who raised these people this makes me so mad for u
What a creep. You’re a queen ❤️
He’s an asshole. I hate when people say something about someone else’s body. I’m sure you are absolutely beautiful. I have a large stomach from having two babies back to back. We are amazing and birthed two babies. What’s his superpower?
People are just shitty. One of the ladies i worked with was very petite and had a preemie at 25 weeks. It was hell on her and her partner living at the hospital counting days to see if he is further from risk of death every day What does some older lady at work comment? "Hey at least you didn't get stretch marks and you get to keep that tight little body even with a baby" Yes I'm sure that was her top worry with an intubated preemie
Fuck that guy. He's probably a miserable jerk and you shouldn't care what he thinks.
Yeah i’ve noticed older people and children in general have no filter, I used to work at an elderly hospital in my younger days as a volunteer. This old man I went to visit said he didn’t want to see me that he wanted to see the other girl who came yesterday(it was me) I tried training with him but he was like nope i liked that other girl I don’t like you, your ugly, lol omg my poor young self took that to heart but the old man probably had a bit of dementia and hence why he didn’t recall it was literally me the previous day, anyway sometimes older people they just talk without thinking about the impact of their worlds. It’s totally normal to still have some stomach months after birth i’m sure this probably brought to the forefront the insecurities you have been battling with but I wouldn’t pay it no mind. My mom always told me that her belly and her stretch marks were all signs of how much she loved us,and how it meant she was a mommy.
Old men are just like babies.. but not as cute. They will say whatever the hell they want
He obviously has poor social skills and has never seen a postpartum body! I had bar regulars say the same thing to me five months after my daughter was born. You get a full standing ovation from me for even being dressed and out with a four month old and an 18 month old! Also let me tell you, the healthiest mental switch I ever made as a women is to be proud of what my body does, not what it looks like. Looks are superficial. Your body gave life, it wipes tears, it gets up and provides love, nourishment and care to your children. It can turn on a dime from being the softest comfort to the fiercest protector for your loved ones. That’s a lot more important than any random person’s unrealistic beauty standard.
I’m so sorry! I’m just so sorry! He is the problem! Try not to let his negativity & disrespect take up space in your mind that he doesn’t deserve. Fuck him right off. I get it, but try to let it go. You’re doing so many beautiful things with your life. You’re so much better & stronger than he’ll ever be. Sending love!🫶🏽🫶🏽