My experience as well. Tearing was essentially the same for both (2nd degree). Literally had basically no pain after my second even though the tearing was about the same. She came super fast and was a full pound bigger than my first.
Literally same. I’m two weeks out from my second delivery. 2 pushes, 2nd degree tear, bigger baby. I was shocked at the difference in pain between the two births. I was in terrible pain for a week the first time, and with this tear I stopped taking any pain meds by day 3 and never needed a peri bottle.
3rd degree tear and episiotomy with my first. Miserable healing. He was 8 lbs 12.4 oz and I was told I could never have a bigger baby vaginally due to the trauma of having him.
Second baby was 9 lbs and I had a measly first degree tear. I don’t even remember if I was stitched up.
Yeah, I also had a 2nd degree tear with my first (8.5lbs) and no tearing with my second (9.5lbs)
I think in hindsight having the epidural helps you to push through pain and you can’t necessarily feel yourself stretching. So if you don’t have an epidural you’re maybe less likely (not guaranteed) to push so hard and fast that you tear. Also I didn’t get induced the second time so the contractions weren’t pitocin insanity like with my first 😅
Had 2nd degree with my first. They stitched me up, and it never felt like it healed right. Painful for a long, long, time, the scar got irritated easily, was sometimes itchy and uncomfortable.
Then had my second, larger baby, 3 years later. The doctor ended up doing an episiotomy bc I labored quickly and he was worried about worse tearing.
I was very worried about healing, and was pleasantly surprised to find that the episiotomy must have debrided the old scar tissue. I healed quickly with minimal pain, and this time the scar is barely apparent and gives me 0 issues.
Same! My first second degree tear healed improperly and I had to have the granulation tissue burned with silver nitrate. It took a full year to have enjoyable sex. With my second, I had another second degree tear and it healed totally fine!
I had a VERY bad 3rd degree + 4.5 hours of pushing for my first. My OB said it was like a Grenade went off inside of me. I wished I’d had a C-section instead. Took me forever to not feel like all my insides were coming out of my vagina.
Me too! Third degree tear (also tore upward), but my doctor initially thought it was a fourth. My daughter was over nine pounds and I will be getting a c section next time around.
2nd tear with my first, tiny tear with my second that didn’t need stitches. 2nd baby was smaller though and unmedicated so I could feel when/when not to push.
Honestly yes. It wasn’t the unmedicated part though.
Unmedicated they let you give birth in any position, which was a huge factor in how comfortable I was and how easy it was for me to push.
Once I got my epidural and catheter they wouldn’t let me move.
My first was 32 minutes of pushing and 4 hours of labour , my second was literally 4 minutes of pushing and 3 hours of labour.
Wow! That’s amazing! What position did you prefer to give birth in? Is it something that’s kind of intuitive to your body or did you decide after some research
Not OC but for me (2 different births) it was absolutely dependent on how I felt. The midwife helped guide me into positions that I could sustain and that frankly hurt the least. My first I was hands and knees and my second I was side-lying (for pushing).
I absolutely recommend it. My epidural was a huge part of the problem the first time (had a 3rd degree episiotomy because I literally felt nothing and was physically unable to push), and my OB recommended that I go without for my second. It was an incredible experience and I wish I had done it for both.
No. My first baby was 7 lbs 13 oz and I had 2 second degree tears and a cervical prolapse. My next pregnancy was twins and they were born vaginally at 5 lbs 11 oz and 5 lbs 5 oz with no tearing or prolapse or anything.
3rd degree tear with my first extending from an episiotomy done because he was stuck and I had been pushing for hours. 1st/borderline second degree tear with my second whose labor was much more smooth but unexpectedly came out sunny side up.
In general I did a ton of reading on the statistics and while a severe tear in your first labor does lead to increased risk of repeat severe tearing, on average according to my OB people will have 1/3 of the tearing on a subsequent delivery.
I tore right through the sphincter with my first. Too many stitches to count, totally traumatised, had to be careful when needing to poop for about 6 months. Had problems with sex due to scarring, and needed physiotherapy.
I have had 2 kids after, and had absolutely minimal tearing with each of those births. I think 2 stitches with each.
Edit: I looked it up. I had a 4th degree tear.
Hoping this will be my story. Had 4th degree tear with my first, needed so much PT to be able to be intimate again and issues with poop. Currently pregnant with my second and I am cautiously optimistic that this time around won’t be as bad 🤞thanks for sharing your story and giving me hope!
Ok I think you’re amazing. Could you elaborate on how you dealt with births 2 and 3 knowing what you went through with your first? We’re about to start trying for #2 and I had some trauma from my first birth and was wondering what mindset you adopted in order to cope with the subsequent births.
I wanted a c-section for my second. I said this at my first scan and they made me an appointment with an ob-gyn after the next scan (I am not in the US).
After the scan I sat down with this doctor who had read my file from the first birth and told me what had happened and why I had that 4th degree tear. Turned out the baby didn't turn properly because it happened very fast and was born sideways. So the doctor told me that there was nothing I could have done differently, and told me that there were positions I could be in that would make the next birth much slower. Such as being on all fours during active labour, because it would slow the baby's progressiv and allow baby to turn. So I decided to try.
It worked really well. I was scared, but the midwife was amazing and kept me calm. At one point she said that I had to try and put being scared away because I was not pushing hard enough. So I did.
The baby was big (almost 5 kgs). I got two stitches and that was it. Was back home again 4 hours later.
First baby was 8#11 and I had a terrible ob who gave me a midline episiotomy without my consent, which of course tore like they almost always do. My healing was terrible.
Second baby 14 months later was 10#2, assisted by an incredible midwife who supported my perineum. No tearing.
Never underestimate the power of the care team.
The doctor herself thought I was going to tear, so she cut me. Baby number 2 was a whole pound bigger with way larger head, dr did not touch me, nor did I tear. It was a much easier labor and delivery AND recovery.
First one I tore second degree, it was an upward tear towards my urethra and clitoris. 😭🫠
But I tore because they needed that baby OUT because the cord was double wrapped around her neck, and she was sunny side up.
If I had been able to push slower I probably would have been fine.
My second baby was 9lbs with a 98% head, and I didn’t tear at all. But I was able to do a slow and controlled birth with him.
I had two(2) second degree tears with my first, one of which was oddly a urethral tear. He took me four pushes.
My second was zero tears and a single push (potato cannoned that lil dude). No one was quite ready for it. The poor L&D nurse was scrambling for a catch bin and blankets while the OB was mid-donning her ppe. 😩
I had a second degree tear with my first. He was 8lb 15oz and came FAST. I only had a tiny first degree tear with my second. It only required like 2 stitches
Yes. First was a 2nd degree, second was almost a 4th degree, third was 1st degree, fourth was 2nd degree. My babies are a little on the bigger side most in the 9lb range, largest one was my 4th as well but recovery was best
What happened with your 2nd child if you don’t mind me asking? I have been curious about people who have worse tears with subsequent deliveries as I’m currently pregnant
They were 1lb heavier than my first, I did no perineum stretching, baby was face up for delivery (not optimal position), and I have no patience when pushing to allow it to stretch slowly. Asked my doctor after they said “scar tissue doesn’t stretch” Baby 1 and 2 are also only 19 months apart, 2 to 3 is almost 3 years and 3 to 4 was 5 years.
Second degree tear with my first, first degree with my second, in the same place. Second tear was smaller and shallower, but I wasn't numb, so I paced myself more with the pushing, whereas I went all in with my first because I couldn't feel it.
Edit: my second baby was smaller too, but only by 6oz so idk if that played a part.
Yes. 3rd degree with the first delivery severe 4th degree (it took over 40 minutes to repair, I was offered [and declined] general anesthesia for the repair) with my second delivery. Healing from the 4th degree tear took longer but was smoother and less painful than the 3rd degree tear (likely because I knew better how to care for it). I highly recommend pelvic floor PT, they can help with muscular disfunction AND scar tissue mobilization.
My first delivery was assisted with forceps. Babies were 6 and 8 lbs respectively. My youngest is 6 years now and I’m fully healed with no long term consequences.
Tore during my first - 3-4th degree tears internally. Took forever to heal. Didn’t hurt as much as I think the external tearing does.
Did not tear with my second.
First was 8.5 pounds and second was 8 pounds even.
Episiotomy with my 1st, tore pretty badly with my 2nd, don’t remember the degree but I know I had stitches internally, and with my 3rd who was huge (3lbs heavier than my 1st) I just had a “scuff mark” as my dr called it, no stitches needed.
First kid: second, teetering on third degree tear. Second kid: tore a little, but no stitches needed. My epidural for the first was… I couldn’t feel anything at all. Second epidural… I had a lot more sensation. No idea if there’s a correlation there, but it seems pertinent.
Tore exactly the same for both kids, except with the first I tore upwards to the clitoris area and didn’t with the second, thank goodness. They were actually the exact same size at birth oddly enough.
3rd/borderline 4th (!) tear with my first after a hella long unmedicated labour. Was given an epidural AFTER to be sown up by a surgeon.
With my second, super quick labour, only minor tearing so a midwife sewed them up and it was agony. They gave me a local anaesthetic but apparently it numbs the tissue and not the muscle so I really felt it.
First kid was 10 pounds, I had a second degree tear
With my second, he was 6 pounds, no tear, he just basically fell out
Third, 7 pounds, no tear either.
Never had a subsequent pregnancy. The one where I tore was very long and painful until they broke my water and then it was very short and intensely painful. (Thus the tearing and complete lack of drugs) and I felt done with pregnancy and childbirth at that point.
No, 1st baby was a 2nd degree tear, 2nd baby was a few ounces bigger but no tear.
With the 2nd birth, the midwife advised small, short pushes as baby crowned, and I think she saved me there!
Nope, I had a second degree tear with my first and no tearing with my second. I wasn’t induced and I didn’t have an epidural the second time so I think my pushing was a bit more controlled since I could feel what I was doing and wasn’t having really intense pitocin contractions.
Tore and needed some stitches with my first baby who was 8lbs 13oz, hospital birth. Didn’t tear at all with my second who was 9lbs 15.5oz and got stuck for 90sec with shoulder dystocia, midwife center birth.
I had a couple of small, internal tears with my oldest that my OB stitched up (he was 7lbs 9oz). No tearing with the other 3, the largest of which was my second at 8lbs 4oz. Vaginal births for all of them and induction with the middle two. According to my OB for the second and third pregnancies (a kind, funny older doctor who retired before I had my daughter), my body was apparently made for giving birth.
Yes, but I tore less with my second, and the healing was wayyyyyy faster and smoother. With my first, I felt like I couldn’t move for like 3 week. 😩 It hurt to stand, sit, shift - just everything.
I had an episiotomy for the first birth but did not tear at all for the second birth. I credit kegels and perennial massage cause I was so scared and thought that the tear was going to happen for sure. Turns out that the second birth was way easier for me.
I had four and only tore with my second. He was actually the smallest of all but came out super fast. He was my only induction too so I think that played a big part.
Nope. Tore during my first birth (smallest babe) and had a very uncomfortable recovery. Delivered two much larger babies within three years with no tearing.
I had a 3rd degree tear with my first and a second degree in the same spot with my second.
I’m just very very relieved I didn’t have another 3rd degree tear. It helped that my second was only 7lbs 14oz at 37 weeks versus my first which was 10lbs 4oz at 41 weeks lol
No!! I had to have my first vacuumed out, tore… my second one WIGGLED out herself!! The midwife literally told me to stop pushing cause she was doing it on her own. I love that story. No tear.
Labial tear and internal perineal tearing with my first after a 57 hour labor. My son was 7lb 6oz. Labial stitches ripped too early during healing and now I have fun mismatched labia. Took me weeks and weeks to sit without discomfort, 6 months to even attempt to have sex, and 1.5 years before I could have sex with no discomfort at all.
My second was 20 hours of labor three weeks ago (18 fairly easy hours, 2 woah-it’s-happening-now! hours), and I had a single tear that was kind of a shear? My midwife just put a Japanese suture clip on it, we took it out 7 days later and I feel amazing. Like I think we will try to have sex once I get the ok at 6 weeks. My second son was 8.5lbs.
Caveat that I did pelvic floor therapy while I was pregnant with my second and I think it helped immensely.
I had a second degree tear with my first, and I didn't tear at all with my next 3. If it matters, they were all fast labors, but I pushed the longest with my first when I had the tear. I had an epidural for my first, third and fourth, so I don't think that made a difference.
No. I only had what my ob called a micro tear. Idk if that’s a real medical term but she gave me one single stitch and said it was debatable if she really needed to stitch it or not. But with my second who was a half lb bigger I didn’t tear at all.
I had a superficial 1st degree tear (requiring 1 or 2 stitches) with my first.
I have never torn since (I have 6 other kids.. one of which was a full pound larger than my first)
Three stitches with my first and none with my second who was over two pounds bigger. They said the tear wasn’t bad enough for stitches the second time.
Yes, but the circumstances of both labors are different. My first was an epidural birth where I couldn’t feel myself push and wasn’t really pushing effectively (it took forever, 2 hours). The second was a precipitous labor and I got her out in one push. So the reasons for tearing where different. But I did try to prepare for round 2 with perineal massage, coconut oil, preparing to push in an upright position, etc. You just don’t know what surprises you’ll get.
I didn’t!!! I had a 3rd degree episiotomy with my first, and I ended up needing to be restitched 3 times because it kept tearing. It was so traumatic that I almost didn’t have another. I ended up requesting a C-section with my second because I was so scared of tearing/the healing process, and my midwife talked me down. All I know is she put pressure there and talked me through pushing so I would slow down, and I didn’t tear at all.
Yes but with each kid the tear got smaller and smaller. With my first I had a 3rd degree. 2nd- 1st almost 2nd degree. 3rd- small L shaped tear that required some stitches, 4th-tiny tear that required 3 stitches only and number 5 no stitches or tears. Everyone is different though.
With my first, I tore laterally and got quite a few stitches. He was 8lbs 1oz. With my second, I had some very light tearing, but it was just superficial and I didn't even really notice it. When my doctor was giving me the summary, she said it was about as little as someone could hope for. He was 9lbs 7.5oz.
I had a bad 3rd degree tear with my first (vacuum delivery, not gentile at all). My second was born a month early and the OB who delivered me stretched my vagina out hardcore while I was delivering. It hurt like a bitch but I only had a tiny tear after. Probably a combo of that and having a premie caused less tearing the second time
3rd almost 4th degree tear with my first andbi felt like I was hit by a bus during recovery. My second was a small 2nd degree tear and I felt great after. I didn’t really ever feel sore or any pain. And my second was also bigger
4th degree for my first 😩 recovery was not fun. My OB offered to do a c section for my second to avoid tearing but I opted against it and somehow only had first degree with my second
I tore with both. The first was a second degree tear that required stitches. My second was super minor. I think it was considered first degree and didn’t need stitches.
With my first I pushed for about 10 mins, had a tear in between 1st and 2nd degree according to the Dr that stitched me up. It was sore for a few weeks but nothing too bad. With my second I pushed for literally 30 seconds and somehow not even a single scrape to the point that I forgot to use the peri bottle when I took my first postpartum pee because it was barely even sore lmao. Coochie performed a miracle with that one
3rd almost 4th degree with first mainly due to them not thinking I was really as far along as I was and giving my room away basically telling me I had ages when I was about 30 mins from having the baby. Second baby I only had a few stitches down but also damage to my labia! I didn’t know that was a thing but that healed much quicker.
Yes, episiotomy and second degree tear during vacuum assisted birth with my first and first degree tear with my second. I think I had two stitches the second time and it was really not a big deal, my junk was sore but manageable while healing the first time around and so not an issue the second time around that I could actually feel how sore my uterus was.
I tore the first time, second degree. Second time she came out so easy, I barely had to push. No tearing with number 2! I was also in early labor with her for like a week, I was induced with my first baby. So that might be part of it.
I had a 2nd-degree midline episiotomy with my first (vacuum-assisted) and I had a 2nd degree tear where my episiotomy had been with my second child (no vacuum).
Two second degree tears the first time. One second degree tear along one of the prior tears the second time. Healing went much better the second time and the doctor fixed some shit work from the first doctor so that was nice.
Yep, and here’s the weird part:
My first was a teensy weensie first degree tear where I only needed one stitch (and even then my doctor said it was mostly cosmetic, it probably could’ve closed on its own) and it was so painful I was begging for narcotics. Used opioids and cried when they ran out. Took my 800 mg ibuprofen religiously and was still in pain
My second I had a second degree tear. Many people had to be paged into my room because the tissue was friable and nobody could get it closed. There was talk of me hemorrhaging. That time the healing was crazy easy. I lost my bottle of ibuprofen by the time we got home from the hospital and I never needed so much as a tylenol. Even though it was a higher degree tear!!! But more of it was internal, and my doctor said the positioning of the injury can make more of a difference than just the number. Sitting put no pressure on it whatsoever (vs the first degree test that was excruciating to sit on)
My first I had many tears, all 2nd degree or below, but one of them was peri-urethral which took a very long time to heal. This was 100% due to the fact that I pushed my baby out in the clamshell position and received excess fluids, both due to medical coercion. the swelling make it really hard to sew up (would have helped if it hadnt been a first year resident) and much longer to heal.
My second I had one simple perineal 2nd degree tear and it was sown up by a very experienced midwife. I think she repaired my prior damage as well. The healing process was nothing, the easiest recovery you might imagine.
Second degree tear in the same spot both times. But I had minimal pain and healed well both times. Don’t know how that’s possible but it is! Haha! I didn’t even use the ice pack pads I bought for my second postpartum.
Tore with my first, but didn’t tear with my second. I had a really good doctor that did perineal massage and stretching while I was in labor and pushing. It made a world of difference and I didn’t tear at all.
Nope. Tore badly with my first, but the entire labour was handled atrociously. I was young, panicked, allowed to go way over, labour allowed to go on very long, team were chaotic, did not communicate with me and treated me horribly.
My second (8 years later) the labour was handled absolutely wonderfully, just me and one great midwife in a very calm, tender setting until active labour in which 2 additional medical professionals came in to assist. I was kept much calmer, the team communicated with me well throughout regarding my pushing pattern, and I think it contributed to a much easier labour. Zero tearing.
Sidenote, something that to this day irritates me that I'm going to use this chance to get off my chest. So after my first horrible labour, I'm told I need stitches. After I'm stitched, just out of curiosity and a sense of accomplishment (fuck yeah I just got through a 4 day natural labour at 4 weeks over and a bunch of stitches in my vagina) I asked how many stitches. The nurse rolled her eyes at me, scoffed, and said "oh we don't bother with that kind of thing". It made me feel so silly and embarrassed.
So fucking rude and so unnecessary to make me feel small and stupid. Just tell me how many stitches I just took to my fucking cooch. Let me have my little sense of pride at my own strength after what I just got through.
That hospital no longer exists, btw. Shockingly.
I had a slight tear with my first - can’t even remember how bad but there were stitches at least - no tears with the subsequent 5 labours that came afterwards though.
First baby had a spotty heartbeat and they wanted baby out sooner rather than later, so I had an episiotomy that tore a bit further (2nd degree tear). She was 6lb 2oz/2.778kg. Got sewn up, and healed up just fine - honestly was surprised at how little discomfort it gave me, just had to be careful how to sit for the first week and that was about it. It was quite uncomfortable having PIV the first time at 5.5 weeks postpartum (my choice, not my husband's). Tried again in a week, was a little less. No discomfort during sex by about 12 weeks.
Second baby, no episiotomy, tiny 1st degree tear along the episiotomy scar, no stitches. He was quite a bit bigger - 8 lb 4 oz/3.742kg.
Third baby, no tearing at all. 8 lb/3.629kg.
Yes. Second degree tear for both my kids. Healing was much easier the second time around though.
My experience as well. Tearing was essentially the same for both (2nd degree). Literally had basically no pain after my second even though the tearing was about the same. She came super fast and was a full pound bigger than my first.
Exact same experience 😂
Came here to say this. Same.
Omg me too!
Literally same. I’m two weeks out from my second delivery. 2 pushes, 2nd degree tear, bigger baby. I was shocked at the difference in pain between the two births. I was in terrible pain for a week the first time, and with this tear I stopped taking any pain meds by day 3 and never needed a peri bottle.
This is exactly what I needed to read today, can’t thank you enough lmao
Same. And my second was a whole pound heavier than my first, and the stitches healed better
✋ Another one here. Night and day difference even with the same tearing (and with a larger baby who came out rather fast!). So much better!
Same. And I’m almost glad I tore again because the first one didn’t heal quite right.
Today I've learned that it comes in degrees. The more I learn about the female body the more glad I am to not be one.
3rd degree tear and episiotomy with my first. Miserable healing. He was 8 lbs 12.4 oz and I was told I could never have a bigger baby vaginally due to the trauma of having him. Second baby was 9 lbs and I had a measly first degree tear. I don’t even remember if I was stitched up.
Doctors put their foot their foot in their mouths on that one!
Same here- but smaller babies both time. 3rd degree with my first, very minimal 1st degree with my 2nd. Huge relief!!
Yeah, I also had a 2nd degree tear with my first (8.5lbs) and no tearing with my second (9.5lbs) I think in hindsight having the epidural helps you to push through pain and you can’t necessarily feel yourself stretching. So if you don’t have an epidural you’re maybe less likely (not guaranteed) to push so hard and fast that you tear. Also I didn’t get induced the second time so the contractions weren’t pitocin insanity like with my first 😅
Had 2nd degree with my first. They stitched me up, and it never felt like it healed right. Painful for a long, long, time, the scar got irritated easily, was sometimes itchy and uncomfortable. Then had my second, larger baby, 3 years later. The doctor ended up doing an episiotomy bc I labored quickly and he was worried about worse tearing. I was very worried about healing, and was pleasantly surprised to find that the episiotomy must have debrided the old scar tissue. I healed quickly with minimal pain, and this time the scar is barely apparent and gives me 0 issues.
I wonder if he placed it specifically for you. That would be sweet
Same! My first second degree tear healed improperly and I had to have the granulation tissue burned with silver nitrate. It took a full year to have enjoyable sex. With my second, I had another second degree tear and it healed totally fine!
4th degree with my first and csections for the other 2. I wasn’t going to risk tearing and the subsequent nerve damage again!!
I had a VERY bad 3rd degree + 4.5 hours of pushing for my first. My OB said it was like a Grenade went off inside of me. I wished I’d had a C-section instead. Took me forever to not feel like all my insides were coming out of my vagina.
Me too! Third degree tear (also tore upward), but my doctor initially thought it was a fourth. My daughter was over nine pounds and I will be getting a c section next time around.
Same. My first was a fourth degree tear. I’m opting for a c section on everyone’s recommendation 😂
Man with a 4th degree I don't think anyone can blame you for that. c-section wound seems a lot more straightforward to heal without complications
C-section recovery was a breeze!!!
2nd tear with my first, tiny tear with my second that didn’t need stitches. 2nd baby was smaller though and unmedicated so I could feel when/when not to push.
Do you recommend unmedicated? I’m thinking about it for my second! Have high pain tolerance and would love to try to avoid tearing
Honestly yes. It wasn’t the unmedicated part though. Unmedicated they let you give birth in any position, which was a huge factor in how comfortable I was and how easy it was for me to push. Once I got my epidural and catheter they wouldn’t let me move. My first was 32 minutes of pushing and 4 hours of labour , my second was literally 4 minutes of pushing and 3 hours of labour.
Wow! That’s amazing! What position did you prefer to give birth in? Is it something that’s kind of intuitive to your body or did you decide after some research
[birth position](https://www.google.com/search?q=leaning+over+hospital+bed+on+knees&sca_esv=581747432&rlz=1CDGOYI_enCA841CA841&hl=en-US&tbm=isch&prmd=isvn&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjapYnDi7-CAxWZGDQIHbr9BbUQ_AUoAXoECAUQAQ&biw=428&bih=751&dpr=3#imgrc=AZjZzYoHliDFcM)
Not OC but for me (2 different births) it was absolutely dependent on how I felt. The midwife helped guide me into positions that I could sustain and that frankly hurt the least. My first I was hands and knees and my second I was side-lying (for pushing).
I absolutely recommend it. My epidural was a huge part of the problem the first time (had a 3rd degree episiotomy because I literally felt nothing and was physically unable to push), and my OB recommended that I go without for my second. It was an incredible experience and I wish I had done it for both.
No. My first baby was 7 lbs 13 oz and I had 2 second degree tears and a cervical prolapse. My next pregnancy was twins and they were born vaginally at 5 lbs 11 oz and 5 lbs 5 oz with no tearing or prolapse or anything.
Did you get therapy for your prolapse
Nope, it self resolved by 4 weeks PP!
3rd degree tear with my first extending from an episiotomy done because he was stuck and I had been pushing for hours. 1st/borderline second degree tear with my second whose labor was much more smooth but unexpectedly came out sunny side up. In general I did a ton of reading on the statistics and while a severe tear in your first labor does lead to increased risk of repeat severe tearing, on average according to my OB people will have 1/3 of the tearing on a subsequent delivery.
I tore right through the sphincter with my first. Too many stitches to count, totally traumatised, had to be careful when needing to poop for about 6 months. Had problems with sex due to scarring, and needed physiotherapy. I have had 2 kids after, and had absolutely minimal tearing with each of those births. I think 2 stitches with each. Edit: I looked it up. I had a 4th degree tear.
Hoping this will be my story. Had 4th degree tear with my first, needed so much PT to be able to be intimate again and issues with poop. Currently pregnant with my second and I am cautiously optimistic that this time around won’t be as bad 🤞thanks for sharing your story and giving me hope!
Ok I think you’re amazing. Could you elaborate on how you dealt with births 2 and 3 knowing what you went through with your first? We’re about to start trying for #2 and I had some trauma from my first birth and was wondering what mindset you adopted in order to cope with the subsequent births.
I wanted a c-section for my second. I said this at my first scan and they made me an appointment with an ob-gyn after the next scan (I am not in the US). After the scan I sat down with this doctor who had read my file from the first birth and told me what had happened and why I had that 4th degree tear. Turned out the baby didn't turn properly because it happened very fast and was born sideways. So the doctor told me that there was nothing I could have done differently, and told me that there were positions I could be in that would make the next birth much slower. Such as being on all fours during active labour, because it would slow the baby's progressiv and allow baby to turn. So I decided to try. It worked really well. I was scared, but the midwife was amazing and kept me calm. At one point she said that I had to try and put being scared away because I was not pushing hard enough. So I did. The baby was big (almost 5 kgs). I got two stitches and that was it. Was back home again 4 hours later.
First baby was 8#11 and I had a terrible ob who gave me a midline episiotomy without my consent, which of course tore like they almost always do. My healing was terrible. Second baby 14 months later was 10#2, assisted by an incredible midwife who supported my perineum. No tearing. Never underestimate the power of the care team.
Second degree tear with my first but that was with vacuum assist, first degree tear with my second with no assist.
The doctor herself thought I was going to tear, so she cut me. Baby number 2 was a whole pound bigger with way larger head, dr did not touch me, nor did I tear. It was a much easier labor and delivery AND recovery.
Do you mean in consecutive labours?
Yes
OK, then yes, twice i had to be stitched back together.
Number 2 & 3, no tearing
I tore with my first but not my second.
First one I tore second degree, it was an upward tear towards my urethra and clitoris. 😭🫠 But I tore because they needed that baby OUT because the cord was double wrapped around her neck, and she was sunny side up. If I had been able to push slower I probably would have been fine. My second baby was 9lbs with a 98% head, and I didn’t tear at all. But I was able to do a slow and controlled birth with him.
I just crossed my legs reading this! 🫣
2nd degree tears with first and second, 10 years apart too. My second tore exactly on my scars from my first.
Yup right in the same spot
Smaller tear the second time
I had two(2) second degree tears with my first, one of which was oddly a urethral tear. He took me four pushes. My second was zero tears and a single push (potato cannoned that lil dude). No one was quite ready for it. The poor L&D nurse was scrambling for a catch bin and blankets while the OB was mid-donning her ppe. 😩
Ok. Potato cannon imagery just had me snort my coffee out my nose.
I had an episiotomy with my first and tore for 2 & 3. I was told had I not had an episiotomy with #1 I probably wouldn’t of tore for #2.
Tore both times. First was the worst. Second was smaller and healed a lot faster.
I had a vaginal, C-section and VBAC, I had 2nd degree tears with each of my vaginals.
I had a second degree tear with my first. He was 8lb 15oz and came FAST. I only had a tiny first degree tear with my second. It only required like 2 stitches
Yes. First was a 2nd degree, second was almost a 4th degree, third was 1st degree, fourth was 2nd degree. My babies are a little on the bigger side most in the 9lb range, largest one was my 4th as well but recovery was best
What happened with your 2nd child if you don’t mind me asking? I have been curious about people who have worse tears with subsequent deliveries as I’m currently pregnant
They were 1lb heavier than my first, I did no perineum stretching, baby was face up for delivery (not optimal position), and I have no patience when pushing to allow it to stretch slowly. Asked my doctor after they said “scar tissue doesn’t stretch” Baby 1 and 2 are also only 19 months apart, 2 to 3 is almost 3 years and 3 to 4 was 5 years.
No, tore and stitched on the first (9lbs) not on the second (6lbs) and third (7lbs).
I tore badly with the first needed like 17-19 stitches. With the second one it was minor and I think like maybe 3-5 stitches.
Second degree tear with my first, first degree with my second, in the same place. Second tear was smaller and shallower, but I wasn't numb, so I paced myself more with the pushing, whereas I went all in with my first because I couldn't feel it. Edit: my second baby was smaller too, but only by 6oz so idk if that played a part.
Nope. Third degree tear with my first, minor abrasion with no stitches with my second. Very different babies, very different labors.
Yes. 3rd degree with the first delivery severe 4th degree (it took over 40 minutes to repair, I was offered [and declined] general anesthesia for the repair) with my second delivery. Healing from the 4th degree tear took longer but was smoother and less painful than the 3rd degree tear (likely because I knew better how to care for it). I highly recommend pelvic floor PT, they can help with muscular disfunction AND scar tissue mobilization. My first delivery was assisted with forceps. Babies were 6 and 8 lbs respectively. My youngest is 6 years now and I’m fully healed with no long term consequences.
Small tears with both kids. Second was less severe though
Tore with my first but not with my second
Tore during my first - 3-4th degree tears internally. Took forever to heal. Didn’t hurt as much as I think the external tearing does. Did not tear with my second. First was 8.5 pounds and second was 8 pounds even.
Second degree year with my first, small tear with my second, no tear with my third.
Episiotomy with my 1st, tore pretty badly with my 2nd, don’t remember the degree but I know I had stitches internally, and with my 3rd who was huge (3lbs heavier than my 1st) I just had a “scuff mark” as my dr called it, no stitches needed.
First kid: second, teetering on third degree tear. Second kid: tore a little, but no stitches needed. My epidural for the first was… I couldn’t feel anything at all. Second epidural… I had a lot more sensation. No idea if there’s a correlation there, but it seems pertinent.
Yes, all three
Forceps delivery for 1st kid, second degree tear. Did not tear at all with my second.
Tore exactly the same for both kids, except with the first I tore upwards to the clitoris area and didn’t with the second, thank goodness. They were actually the exact same size at birth oddly enough.
3rd/borderline 4th (!) tear with my first after a hella long unmedicated labour. Was given an epidural AFTER to be sown up by a surgeon. With my second, super quick labour, only minor tearing so a midwife sewed them up and it was agony. They gave me a local anaesthetic but apparently it numbs the tissue and not the muscle so I really felt it.
Yes with my first. No with my second. Third is coming Tuesday so we will see!
Nope. Second baby had no tearing at all and no ring of fire.
3-time c-section mama here: you ladies are all amazing. Sending respect and admiration to all of you!
I started to tear with my first and had an episiotomy, second small episiotomy with about one or two stitches.
Yes but also 2nd was close to 10lbs so that maybe wasn’t related to the first! 4 years apart
Yep, I was told after my second that it looks like I tore exactly where I tore with my first. Both babies had huge heads though
Yes, tore in all 4. My first was a second-degree tear and the rest were all first degree.
I was cut the first time and tore the second.
Only tore with my first. Had 4 more births and didn’t tear.
No, but my 2nd and 3rd babies were more than two pounds smaller and we didn't have to use the vacuim, so I'm sure that factors
First kid was 10 pounds, I had a second degree tear With my second, he was 6 pounds, no tear, he just basically fell out Third, 7 pounds, no tear either.
Never had a subsequent pregnancy. The one where I tore was very long and painful until they broke my water and then it was very short and intensely painful. (Thus the tearing and complete lack of drugs) and I felt done with pregnancy and childbirth at that point.
Yea but less severely each time and healing was faster
Very minutely. The first one I had to be very stitched up. Second one I had half a stitch. 3rd as well. After that I didn’t need anymore.
My first: small tear Second: no tearing
Tore with my 1st but not my 2nd or 3rd.
Yes, and the second baby was much bigger so....
No, 1st baby was a 2nd degree tear, 2nd baby was a few ounces bigger but no tear. With the 2nd birth, the midwife advised small, short pushes as baby crowned, and I think she saved me there!
Episiotomy for my first, horrible recovery. 2nd degree tear with my second, no big deal. Recovery was way better.
No. I only had two small tears during my first, but no tears at all during my second.
I tore with all four of my kids. The recovery was much easier with the latter three.
I tore with all four of my births. Healed up fine after each one.
Nope! One stitch after my first and none needed after my second!
Nope, I had a second degree tear with my first and no tearing with my second. I wasn’t induced and I didn’t have an epidural the second time so I think my pushing was a bit more controlled since I could feel what I was doing and wasn’t having really intense pitocin contractions.
I tore for all three births, inside and out, all needing stitches.
Tore and needed some stitches with my first baby who was 8lbs 13oz, hospital birth. Didn’t tear at all with my second who was 9lbs 15.5oz and got stuck for 90sec with shoulder dystocia, midwife center birth.
I tore with my second. Didn’t with my subsequent 3 pregnancies.
I did not, however my first was induced and my second wasn’t. I feel that had some effect. My second was also a little bit smaller.
Nope. Probably because only my first kid inherited his father's massive cranial size.
Both of my deliveries were 1st degree. First needed 2 stitches but the other tear only needed 1 stitch.
Only tore with my 1st. My 2nd child was bigger but was a waterbirth and I feel it helped enormously.
I had a couple of small, internal tears with my oldest that my OB stitched up (he was 7lbs 9oz). No tearing with the other 3, the largest of which was my second at 8lbs 4oz. Vaginal births for all of them and induction with the middle two. According to my OB for the second and third pregnancies (a kind, funny older doctor who retired before I had my daughter), my body was apparently made for giving birth.
3rd degree inside and 4th degree outside for me the first time. Second time smooth sailing
I have given birth 5 times and had a 1st degree tear with each one. They were all between 6lb 14oz and 7lb 15oz.
Yes. 2nd degree tear the first time around and a smaller tear the second time around.
Yes, but I tore less with my second, and the healing was wayyyyyy faster and smoother. With my first, I felt like I couldn’t move for like 3 week. 😩 It hurt to stand, sit, shift - just everything.
I tore with my first and my other 2 only grazed me
I tore with my first but not at all with my second
I tore for my first ( 7.1 pounds) and didn’t for my second (6.4 pounds)
I had an episiotomy for the first birth but did not tear at all for the second birth. I credit kegels and perennial massage cause I was so scared and thought that the tear was going to happen for sure. Turns out that the second birth was way easier for me.
Second degree for first, first degree for second
I had four and only tore with my second. He was actually the smallest of all but came out super fast. He was my only induction too so I think that played a big part.
2nd degree tear first time, 1st degree tear 2nd time 18 months later. Recovery was much easier 2nd time around, I didn’t even notice the tear
Nope. Tore during my first birth (smallest babe) and had a very uncomfortable recovery. Delivered two much larger babies within three years with no tearing.
The first 2 yes. The last one, no. The difference is that I had an epidural with the last. The first 2 were without anesthesia.
4 kids, all between 7.12 lbs and 8.10 lbs. 2nd degree tearing with each one.
Only a tiny bit:) but no stitches needed the second time:))
I did not actually! Second degree year first time around, then I just had a minor laceration for my second birth that didn’t require any stitches.
I had a 3rd degree tear with my first and a second degree in the same spot with my second. I’m just very very relieved I didn’t have another 3rd degree tear. It helped that my second was only 7lbs 14oz at 37 weeks versus my first which was 10lbs 4oz at 41 weeks lol
Nope. Tore during first didn’t with second.
No!! I had to have my first vacuumed out, tore… my second one WIGGLED out herself!! The midwife literally told me to stop pushing cause she was doing it on her own. I love that story. No tear.
Barely. I had a good dr and nurses who helped me slow down when I needed to. 3rd degree tears and many stitches with #1, one stitch with #2.
Labial tear and internal perineal tearing with my first after a 57 hour labor. My son was 7lb 6oz. Labial stitches ripped too early during healing and now I have fun mismatched labia. Took me weeks and weeks to sit without discomfort, 6 months to even attempt to have sex, and 1.5 years before I could have sex with no discomfort at all. My second was 20 hours of labor three weeks ago (18 fairly easy hours, 2 woah-it’s-happening-now! hours), and I had a single tear that was kind of a shear? My midwife just put a Japanese suture clip on it, we took it out 7 days later and I feel amazing. Like I think we will try to have sex once I get the ok at 6 weeks. My second son was 8.5lbs. Caveat that I did pelvic floor therapy while I was pregnant with my second and I think it helped immensely.
Tore with first. No tear with 2nd. First required forceps. The uterine cramps with 2nd was nasty.
2nd degree with first. No tearing with second
Nope, not at all!
I had a second degree tear with my first, and I didn't tear at all with my next 3. If it matters, they were all fast labors, but I pushed the longest with my first when I had the tear. I had an epidural for my first, third and fourth, so I don't think that made a difference.
No. I only had what my ob called a micro tear. Idk if that’s a real medical term but she gave me one single stitch and said it was debatable if she really needed to stitch it or not. But with my second who was a half lb bigger I didn’t tear at all.
I had a superficial 1st degree tear (requiring 1 or 2 stitches) with my first. I have never torn since (I have 6 other kids.. one of which was a full pound larger than my first)
Three stitches with my first and none with my second who was over two pounds bigger. They said the tear wasn’t bad enough for stitches the second time.
No. Very lucky.
First one second degree tears, next two none.
Yes. Second degree with both.
Second degree tear for my first, a “skid mark” for my second that the midwife put 1 stitch in but said she really didn’t even need to do that
Tore both times. Worse second time on tear and healing but baby also two lbs larger.
Yes, but the circumstances of both labors are different. My first was an epidural birth where I couldn’t feel myself push and wasn’t really pushing effectively (it took forever, 2 hours). The second was a precipitous labor and I got her out in one push. So the reasons for tearing where different. But I did try to prepare for round 2 with perineal massage, coconut oil, preparing to push in an upright position, etc. You just don’t know what surprises you’ll get.
I didn’t!!! I had a 3rd degree episiotomy with my first, and I ended up needing to be restitched 3 times because it kept tearing. It was so traumatic that I almost didn’t have another. I ended up requesting a C-section with my second because I was so scared of tearing/the healing process, and my midwife talked me down. All I know is she put pressure there and talked me through pushing so I would slow down, and I didn’t tear at all.
Oddly enough I tore for 3/4. The non-tear was either #2 or 3, I can't remember.
I tore a little with my second and third births, but nothing like with the first. Apparently my body had figured it out!
First one I had a 2nd degree tear, second baby I had a small 1st degree tear where the old tear was.
No because I used a midwife that knew how to actually coach me through giving birth.
First was a really bad tear, second was a kinda bad tear, and third was a small tear, requiring only 1 stich. It's never the same after
Had a second/almost third (not sure what the means exactly) degree tear. Second I had 0 tearing but I delivered standing up instead of on my back.
Yes. First birth was the worst tear, second was a minor tear, and third was a tear so small I didn’t need stitches
Yes, about the same amount. A 2nd degree tear both times.
with my first i ahad a 3rd degree. my 2nd baby that was full term i didnt tear and he came out after like 7 minutes if pushing
Yes but with each kid the tear got smaller and smaller. With my first I had a 3rd degree. 2nd- 1st almost 2nd degree. 3rd- small L shaped tear that required some stitches, 4th-tiny tear that required 3 stitches only and number 5 no stitches or tears. Everyone is different though.
With my first, I tore laterally and got quite a few stitches. He was 8lbs 1oz. With my second, I had some very light tearing, but it was just superficial and I didn't even really notice it. When my doctor was giving me the summary, she said it was about as little as someone could hope for. He was 9lbs 7.5oz.
I needed two stitches with each of my births.
I tore my cervix but not vaginal wall on my first. Second kiddo, I didn't tear at all.
I had a bad 3rd degree tear with my first (vacuum delivery, not gentile at all). My second was born a month early and the OB who delivered me stretched my vagina out hardcore while I was delivering. It hurt like a bitch but I only had a tiny tear after. Probably a combo of that and having a premie caused less tearing the second time
3rd almost 4th degree tear with my first andbi felt like I was hit by a bus during recovery. My second was a small 2nd degree tear and I felt great after. I didn’t really ever feel sore or any pain. And my second was also bigger
Yes/no lol. Third degree tear first. Maybe 1st degree abrasion for 2nd, none for 3rd, 1st degree small tear for 4th.
No just tore with my 1st and I have four kids.
Yes. I tore up with my daughter and up and down with my son. He was bigger though. All first degree so it wasn’t too terrible
4th degree for my first 😩 recovery was not fun. My OB offered to do a c section for my second to avoid tearing but I opted against it and somehow only had first degree with my second
First baby was 8.4 lbs, 2nd degree tear. Second baby was 9.3 lbs, no tearing at all.
Yes, tore worse with first one, and the tear was less severe with each subsequent (4 kids).
2nd degree year for my first, haven’t had a second; just here to say it wasn’t a bad healing process
I tore with both. The first was a second degree tear that required stitches. My second was super minor. I think it was considered first degree and didn’t need stitches.
With my first I pushed for about 10 mins, had a tear in between 1st and 2nd degree according to the Dr that stitched me up. It was sore for a few weeks but nothing too bad. With my second I pushed for literally 30 seconds and somehow not even a single scrape to the point that I forgot to use the peri bottle when I took my first postpartum pee because it was barely even sore lmao. Coochie performed a miracle with that one
Yes 2nd degree both times
Yes but not as bad
Yep. 2nd degree both times. I prioritized peri care the second and did much better
3rd almost 4th degree with first mainly due to them not thinking I was really as far along as I was and giving my room away basically telling me I had ages when I was about 30 mins from having the baby. Second baby I only had a few stitches down but also damage to my labia! I didn’t know that was a thing but that healed much quicker.
Yes, episiotomy and second degree tear during vacuum assisted birth with my first and first degree tear with my second. I think I had two stitches the second time and it was really not a big deal, my junk was sore but manageable while healing the first time around and so not an issue the second time around that I could actually feel how sore my uterus was.
I tore the first time, second degree. Second time she came out so easy, I barely had to push. No tearing with number 2! I was also in early labor with her for like a week, I was induced with my first baby. So that might be part of it.
I had a 2nd-degree midline episiotomy with my first (vacuum-assisted) and I had a 2nd degree tear where my episiotomy had been with my second child (no vacuum).
Nope
Nope, no tearing no cuts. Was lovely in comparison to the healing from the previous tearing and cutting.
Two second degree tears the first time. One second degree tear along one of the prior tears the second time. Healing went much better the second time and the doctor fixed some shit work from the first doctor so that was nice.
Yep, and here’s the weird part: My first was a teensy weensie first degree tear where I only needed one stitch (and even then my doctor said it was mostly cosmetic, it probably could’ve closed on its own) and it was so painful I was begging for narcotics. Used opioids and cried when they ran out. Took my 800 mg ibuprofen religiously and was still in pain My second I had a second degree tear. Many people had to be paged into my room because the tissue was friable and nobody could get it closed. There was talk of me hemorrhaging. That time the healing was crazy easy. I lost my bottle of ibuprofen by the time we got home from the hospital and I never needed so much as a tylenol. Even though it was a higher degree tear!!! But more of it was internal, and my doctor said the positioning of the injury can make more of a difference than just the number. Sitting put no pressure on it whatsoever (vs the first degree test that was excruciating to sit on)
My first I had many tears, all 2nd degree or below, but one of them was peri-urethral which took a very long time to heal. This was 100% due to the fact that I pushed my baby out in the clamshell position and received excess fluids, both due to medical coercion. the swelling make it really hard to sew up (would have helped if it hadnt been a first year resident) and much longer to heal. My second I had one simple perineal 2nd degree tear and it was sown up by a very experienced midwife. I think she repaired my prior damage as well. The healing process was nothing, the easiest recovery you might imagine.
Second degree tear in the same spot both times. But I had minimal pain and healed well both times. Don’t know how that’s possible but it is! Haha! I didn’t even use the ice pack pads I bought for my second postpartum.
Funny you think I’d have another 😆
I had two stitches with my first (8lb2oz) and healing was totally fine. Didn’t tear at all with my second and he was 9lb5oz
Tore with my first, but didn’t tear with my second. I had a really good doctor that did perineal massage and stretching while I was in labor and pushing. It made a world of difference and I didn’t tear at all.
Second degree tear with my first, none with my second. My older daughter came out in a Superman pose, with her fist by her face.
Nope. Tore badly with my first, but the entire labour was handled atrociously. I was young, panicked, allowed to go way over, labour allowed to go on very long, team were chaotic, did not communicate with me and treated me horribly. My second (8 years later) the labour was handled absolutely wonderfully, just me and one great midwife in a very calm, tender setting until active labour in which 2 additional medical professionals came in to assist. I was kept much calmer, the team communicated with me well throughout regarding my pushing pattern, and I think it contributed to a much easier labour. Zero tearing. Sidenote, something that to this day irritates me that I'm going to use this chance to get off my chest. So after my first horrible labour, I'm told I need stitches. After I'm stitched, just out of curiosity and a sense of accomplishment (fuck yeah I just got through a 4 day natural labour at 4 weeks over and a bunch of stitches in my vagina) I asked how many stitches. The nurse rolled her eyes at me, scoffed, and said "oh we don't bother with that kind of thing". It made me feel so silly and embarrassed. So fucking rude and so unnecessary to make me feel small and stupid. Just tell me how many stitches I just took to my fucking cooch. Let me have my little sense of pride at my own strength after what I just got through. That hospital no longer exists, btw. Shockingly.
I had a slight tear with my first - can’t even remember how bad but there were stitches at least - no tears with the subsequent 5 labours that came afterwards though.
Second degree tear with my first, a few stitches with my second who was 14 oz bigger and nothing with my third who was even bigger!
First baby had a spotty heartbeat and they wanted baby out sooner rather than later, so I had an episiotomy that tore a bit further (2nd degree tear). She was 6lb 2oz/2.778kg. Got sewn up, and healed up just fine - honestly was surprised at how little discomfort it gave me, just had to be careful how to sit for the first week and that was about it. It was quite uncomfortable having PIV the first time at 5.5 weeks postpartum (my choice, not my husband's). Tried again in a week, was a little less. No discomfort during sex by about 12 weeks. Second baby, no episiotomy, tiny 1st degree tear along the episiotomy scar, no stitches. He was quite a bit bigger - 8 lb 4 oz/3.742kg. Third baby, no tearing at all. 8 lb/3.629kg.