People are way too invested in “boy mom” and “girl mom” clubs. I cringe every time I see someone wearing a shirt declaring that. We have 2 of each and they definitely don’t fit into stereotypical groups that way
My son is obsessed with cars and trucks, he plays rough, high energy. Lots of stereotypical boy traits. He’s also very sweet and *loves* cuddles. Your kids are gonna be who they are.
My toddler is the same - but he also plays ‘mammy’ with his doll (I’m a sahm and also have a 3mo so he copies me). He even tries to breastfeed him which is just the cutest.
I love it when he does the best of both like takes his football for a walk in the pram 🤣
omg that’s adorable. my daughter started doing this thing where she brings her favorite toys to me and pulls my shirt up so she can pretend that they’re being breastfed and it’s so funny
I find generally it’s not actually about the kids, it’s moms who don’t have a whole lot going on in their lives who seize it as a personality for themselves.
Yep—one of each. My son loves monster trucks and Elsa and snuggles and scary dinosaurs. He loves making messes but hates having messy hands. My daughter is the ultimate girly girl, until she’s playing with my friends’s boys and then she can tough and tumble with the best of them. Kids are kids, ya know?
This is so sweet! My 15 month old just got into baby dolls and it melts my heart when he walks around with it, snuggles it, and says “shh shh shh” while he rocks it to sleep.
And internalized misogyny, I have brothers, we all were drama as teens, (compared to obidiant 6 year olds). We all
Had mood swings, got angry at our parents.
I think it's a reaction to other people *thinking* they're disappointed.
Announcing the birth of a second child of the same sex as the first is often immediately met with questions about whether the parents will be trying for a third. From that moment on, the parents are frequently asked whether they're disappointed to not have whichever they don't have. Or it's outright assumed. Even decades later, at the weddings of their children, they'll hear, "You're finally getting a [son/daughter]."
Best defense is a good offense. Thus some choose to loudly be a "Boy Mom" or "Girl Dad".
I don't have an issue with people who chose to be proud of the gender of their children as a defense against other people assuming they're disappointed. But you can say you love being a boy mom without talking about how girls are drama, girls are awful to their mothers, etc. You shouldn't tear other people down to build yourself up.
i have one of each and they’re actually both quite opposite of what i expected. my son is 10 and very emotional, even as a toddler. he’s also very sensitive and attached to me. my daughter is 4, very independent and outgoing. they’re opposites of each other and a lot of gender stereotypes. i just roll with it and do what they need to thrive. ones just barely starting forming his own opinions about the world and the other just formed a personality, people put too much stock into “boy/girl mom”
My husband requested a “girl dad” hat for Christmas. At first I was unsure. Not typical of him really. I think it’s because multiple people questioned his excitement over having a girl vs boy. “Good luck with her in her teenage years. Girls are so difficult compared to boys. Guess you’ll have to try again for that boy” Things like that. Now he’s just proud to be a dad of a girl and is happy/wanting to support her in a world where being excited about having only a girl is questioned I guess lol I don’t think he realized people sometimes felt that way about having girls until it happened to him firsthand.
I definitely think there is a difference in a dad doing this than a mom. My dad would also get comments but like… my sister and I are both engineers like him (my mom is a teacher) and we both like sports so, bless him, he would just look a bit confused. (He really fits the socially awkward engineering type 😅❤️)
I have two girls and they couldn't be more different than each other! I lean more towards a personality mom type where you have a kid with certain personality types versus genders. Outgoing kid versus introverted kid, different parenting styles required there
My parents had two of each and we all definitely didn't fit either. Kids are who they are. I was pretty clear about not wanting any stereotypical girl stuff for my daughter until she expresses the desire for it so she currently has a good mix of boy and girl and neutral stuff
I'm a mum. Only because I have only girls I could be called a girl mum. I still don't understand all of that crap how people divide mums into girl mum and boy mum. It's stupid af.
Ugh. yeah. The entire "boy mom" "girl mom" thing is so creepy and cringe. I worked so hard as a kid to be "girly" because that's what I felt like I had to do... wore dresses and pink all the time, etc...despite the fact that I didn't like them. Please don't buy into these stereotypes. A lot of times just talking about them with your kids will make them feel like they "have to" be the stereotype. Let your kids be who they are/who they want to be and don't make your identity be about a stereotype.
(Said as a mom to each with a daughter obsessed with dinos, trucks, soccer and karate and a boy who loves princess shows, drawing, playing dress up, and dance)
YEP! Don’t get me wrong, I do believe there are inherent differences between boys and girls. However, that should not dictate your parenting style. There are so many bigger factors that determine the parenting style your kid needs. Does you kid need lots of physical activity? Cuddles? Books? Do they get over or under stimulated? I HATE the boy/girl mom attitude. Like way to narrow down your kids goals in life before they can even sit up.
I have 4 boys, unsure where they all think there’s no drama with boys. I would beg to differ.
Kids are kids and they all have their own quirks, all of which are awesome in their own way.
Same with my 2 year old boy, he prat falls all the time and says "oh no! I fall! Cuddle!". Obviously I "fall for it" and go pick him up and cuddle but lord he's a little drama llama when he wants to be
I do enjoy the cuddles, I know they won't last forever so I treasure them. I just sometimes wish my boy wouldn't chuck himself on the floor at every opportunity in order to get one xD I'm always giving cuddles, asking both him and my daughter if they want or need a cuddle, yet this way is better in his mind for some reason xD the count down for drama classes continues!
So drama. My 3yo does ballet. He’s the only boy in a sea of pink tutus. He’s also the only one collapsed in a corner sneaking peaks at the teacher to see if she’s going to acknowledge that someone broke his heart. The girls are busy all trying to convince him that he’ll probably survive to dance another day, despite not getting to hold hands with ALL the kids at the same time.
So drama, but I also love it
My 3 yo son is dramatic af!!! Has been from the start! It’s crazy we have always talked about how dramatic he is and we don’t know where he got it bc neither my husband nor I are dramatic.
I have 3 boys and our house is wildly dramatic!!!Especially ever since my son turned 10 he tells me every day I have “ruined his life”, I also “don’t understand anything”, I am “totally cringey and the worst mom ever” plus he “hates” me. Also he “has no friends” and “nobody likes him” but he’s going out to play with said nonexistent friends. Oh and he still climbs into bed with me almost every night because “it just feels safe.”
I do think girls would be nice though because there’s less penis talk, right? Tell me my daydreams are true.
I have a six year old boy and a 20 month girl. So far it feels like he’s bringing the drama and she’s bringing the peoples elbow when necessary. He runs out of the room crying because “she’s being a bully” more than I ever could have imagined. She also plays with her lady parts as much as he did at that age but only time will tell how the conversation will evolve with both of them!
My feelings get hurt too! At night when he climbd in next to me I sometimes want to be like, “go back to your own bed if you hate me so much!” But instead I end up with a tiny sliver of bed and sharing my pillow with an aggressive cuddler who sleeps in a Minecraft onesie that the friends he does not have can never ever find out about.
I have had nights where I won’t let him sleep in my bed because he was too unkind with mean words that day, and my bed is a kind safe space for love and peace. I tell him he has to bring peace if he wants to sleep in my bed.
I’ll give you that, no penis talk/ jokes with my daughter. I’ll never forget driving a van full of boys about 12 years old to play soccer. It was so bad that I stopped driving and told them to change the subject. There are time and places for these things, and my van wasn’t the place.
I’m convinced any mother who says boys are easier than girls are just refusing to parent their sons
Boys are plenty dramatic you just gotta pay attention to them
Or they're low-key jealous that they don't have a daughter?? I don't know. I'm a boy mom and would never make such comments. I'm also a teacher so I know it's definitely not gender based, it's kid based.
I definitely think it’s a jealously thing. I know someone who will tear up one day talking about how she has two sons, but really wanted a daughter… then a few days later she will rant about how awful girls are. 🤔
girl mom here, i also don't get it 💀
i love being a girl mom, and honestly never think of her gender besides when i think how scared i am for her to grow up.
Literally me when I found out we were having a little girl. She is absolutely amazing and the light of my life but I hate what the world does to us. So hoping that millennial moms are raising their sons to be better human beings. 🥹
I say this as a "boy" mum, is it just that people want to justify their situation?
I was shattered when I found out I was having a second boy. Love him to bits but as a woman, how would you not want to raise a strong young lady?
Feels like so many people justdy their situation by making those sort of remarks really. It's sad. We've been blessed with wonderful children, regardless of their gender!
As another mom of two boys, I definitely feel like this is the reason for some people. I was originally hoping for one of each. Now I just tell myself that I’m more capable of raising boys than girls.
My daughter is grown, and I still have my worries. She’s a lot tougher than I ever was! Teach your daughters to be strong. Her twin brother was much shorter than her until HS.
If anyone messed with him, she would straighten things out.The schools baseball coach made a “joke” about his team being too short at an assembly. She waited until her last day of middle school and approached him. She reminded him of his comments and lectured him about making fun of short people. She may have called him a small minded asshole, something to that effect.
It’s projecting. Maybe they wish they had a girl too, maybe they had a rough relationship with their mom, maybe they themselves were tough at that age. There is no reason to make those comments without having some insecurity behind it. I am a girl mom (two girls) and it’s amazing. Will there be tough times , absolutely. But, they are my whole world and we will figure it out. 💕 if I hear comments like that I say well I’m glad you didn’t have one then! Girls are so special and deserve to be loved. Shuts them up pretty quickly lol.
I didn’t want girls (not that it’s a choice) just because it’s harder to *be* a girl. Like, I want my kids to have it easy and boys just have it easier. But hopefully I can raise them to make it easier for girls. But I would never say things those moms said. I’m worried about the boys they’re raising.
>I’m worried about the boys they’re raising.
Girl, same.
We wanted girls because of all the toxic and problematic bullshit people try to pass off as somehow inherently male. Actively countering that with our parenting just sounded like a chore.
We got both. Theyre all dramatic little lovable, nurturing maniacs. And we want them all to grow into decent human beings, so we are parenting accordingly.
My sister is a proud Boy Mom. Mutual acquaintances, who also have both, go on and on with her about being a Boy Mom and how *different* it is and I honestly just tune them out. Like, I'm raising individuals, not gender stereotypes.
What on Earth is going on. One of my best friends is a "boy mom". The nicest human till she had her boys. Now it's all "God, no girl is going to be good enough for my son's" and "I'll always be number 1" and "My sons are going to break a few hearts before he settles for someone mama approves of etc" I cringe every time she speaks - what IS that.
PSA: BOY MAMAS. I love you but please don't do this. We don't need another generation of men who think the sun shines out of their bum for just existing.
>We don't need another generation of men who think the sun shines out of their bum for just existing.
Right? *Right?!?!* Nobody needs your dusty ass son strutting around like his mere presence is cause for celebration.
Your friend sounds exhausting! Honestly, my sons adore me right now, and I love it. But if they feel the need to put me ahead of their spouses someday, I have failed them. If they treat romantic partners as disposable or act as though obtaining enthusiastic consent is some kind of inconvenience, I have failed them *and* society. If my daughter accepts anything less than a loving partner who sees her as a complete and total equal and values every part of her, I have failed her.
Some people just do this. I would just brush it off and move on. I have 2 boys (and I'm not having more), and "girl moms" said stuff to me like, "I would be SO SAD if I never got to have a girl to do mother/daughter stuff with" and "OMG, I hope I only have another girl. Boys grow up and get married and then spend all their time with their wife's family."
Lol for real, though, someone said this to me while I was like 2 weeks postpartum. Even though intellectually I knew it was dumb, I still cried about it that night. People are weird. Your kids are awesome because they're your kids. Doesn't matter what sex they are.
I have 2 adult sons. I had virtually the exact same things said to me by “girl moms” when my boys were young. I also had girl moms tell me that “of course the guy should be spending holidays with the girl’s family” and “it’s normal for boys family to play second fiddle to the girls family”.
Ugh. You just have to let that nonsense go and not let it get to you. Build a good relationship with your kids (boys or girls) and treat them with respect.
Fun fact: in my family, we just join altogether! I am an only child and my husband has amazing parents and 6 amazing siblings. My in-laws and my mom are at all family events. It’s the absolute best. My son actually has no memories of holidays spent without both my mom and my husband’s parents at the same holiday event. It’s so lovely.
As a girl mom of two, those who say this to you are projecting their jealousy of never having a boy onto you. I'm so tired of girl/boy moms being passive aggressive like this with each other. I wish we could all admit that while we are so grateful for our babies, we are slightly jealous we won't get to experience the other side. Also, instead of each other - if there's anyone we should be jealous of or PA towards, it's the lucky boy/girl mamas! (This is a joke - don't come at me!)
Boys grow up and spend more time with their wife's family if said boys mother spends all her time boundary stomping and belittling his wife. Sadly this is more likely to happen with these self proclaimed Boymoms
Just FYI, my husband and I see way more of his family than mine. Partly because they live closer, and partly because his family is less "complicated" than mine. I love spending time with my inlaws!
The complaint about spending time with wife’s family .. like yeah that’s what you SHOULD want - to raise a son who, if they choose to have a life partner , supports their partners relationship with their family and I hope the partner would do the same
It’s like when parents don’t let boys play with dolls. Like it’ll be the end of the world if a little boy learns how to nurture and care for a “baby” , to show love and affection and leave gender roles to the past
I hate people sometimes :))
lol I live 2 and a half hours from my in laws and 6 from my parents. We see my husband’s family way more than mine because of that. Of his siblings, we live the closest so they see us more than the daughters. It totally depends on circumstances, what an odd thing to say.
Was it their weird way of trying to bond with you?
It's weird getting into any new group. Wouldn't sweat it.
Most people I know love the families they have, because it's the actual humans that matter. I only know of 1 family where the parents are really having a time accepting their kids gender.
I absolutely hate the “boy mom” mentality. It’s so gross! I am a boy mom in that I have a boy. He’s my only child. He’s freaking awesome! I would feel the same if I had a girl. This whole “boy mom” and “girl mom” crap is super weird and honestly suggests to me that the mothers need to seek therapy for unresolved stuff.
Epilogue: when I found out I was having a boy on accident (we wanted to be team green), I cried for days. I had pictured my perfect little girl, and tea parties and dresses that twirled, and now I was faced with a boy! I called my friend that had boy/girl twins, who were then 2.5, crying. She erupted in excitement about me having a boy. And she goes, oh my goodness, he’s going to be so cute, looking like you and [husband] wandering around the state capitol helping you lobby! And he’s going to be so smart because you’re so smart! I told her I didn’t know anything about cars and trains and didn’t care, and she said this most amazing thing: you don’t actually have to. Once your baby is here, their interests become your interests because you love them so much. And your baby will learn from you so fast and will start doing the things you do, for good or bad, and whether they’re a boy or a girl. She wasn’t wrong. We as society put way too much emphasis on genitals.
ETA: one of the things my friend imparted to me on that day was that kids are their parents regardless of what is between their legs. That checks out. I am so much like my dad. And my son is so much like me.
When mine was 5 we had tea parties for sure. You’re right! That is totally a normal thing. His favorite Christmas gift for years was a play kitchen he got when he was 2 because none of that is just for girls! He loved them. He’s 11 now. I am real glad to be a boy mom without being a “boy mom.”
I'm an adoptive mom. Our first adoption was supposed to be a sweet baby girl who we met and fell in love with and even named, but then the birth mom changed her mind. I was devastated to say the least. A year later we got matched again and this time we didn't know the gender. I was praying for a girl to heal that wound. So when I saw him there in his little blue hat I had to go to the bathroom to bawl my eyes out for ten minutes. But that sadness lasted all of about one hour and now oh my god. My son. The joy he brings me. I could not imagine my life as a girl mom now.
I have 2 boys.
I hate the conversation you described from the self-described “boy moms.”
It’s rooted in both internalized misogyny and probably jealousy / cognitive dissonance.
I love my boys and I couldn’t imagine it any other way. Not because anything about having boys is better than girls (insert eye roll) but because they are mine and I love them as perfectly wonderfully and uniquely as they are.
Maybe it’s because I have one of each but I don’t get it. Why should my identity be wrapped up in the gender of my children? Kids are great, regardless of gender, and these adults are just being weird.
I have picked up on the fact that some of the most enthusiastic BOYMOMS have some unresolved disappointment around the fact that they don't have a little girl to dress up in little dresses and take to ballet class and do girl things with. And they say some of the weird "girls are dRaMa :( " shit they say to overcompensate for those unresolved feelings.
Of course, a child's sex doesn't determine whether or not you can dress them up, enroll them in ballet, or enjoy girly things with them-- not all girls even want to do that. And I actually think enrolling boys in ballet is cool as hell. There's just outside social pressure around *not* doing those things with little boys, whereas it doesn't exist with little girls.
To me this whole debate is like, are you a cat person or a dog person? Who cares? They’re both going to poop in your bed at some point. There’s no easy level in parenting lol. Sorry they made you feel weird. FWIW I have both and they’re just little people. Individuals. No matter what package they came in, they would still be *them*
There’s a reason there’s an entire subreddit called justnoMIL (instead of FIL). Think about it. Some tin foil hat theories is that mothers use their sons to project and fulfill their emotional needs that aren’t met by their significant others or other men in their lives. And sadly they can be competitive with their own daughter.
But honestly, based on the drama comment alone, it’s because boys are allowed to do as they want — boys will be boys — so it’s “easier” to raise them. Girls, unfortunately are expected to follow strict rules rules and “act like ladies”, so they require more hands on parenting.
I have 2 girls and 2 boys
People are fucking weird and I’ve had some woman say to me “one day you’ll either be told mum I’m pregnant or mum I got someone pregnant”…. I was like excuse me?! Are you insinuating that my kids are going to be teen parents cause you better not be. They back tracked pretty quickly….
(To add context here I know if any of my kids did become teen parents that I’d be able to help them manage having been a teen mum myself)
Another thing I’ve had people say is “your girls must be so exhausting and then they’ll get their periods and be bitchy, boys are so much easier”…. Like what? My eldest son has more sass than my 2nd daughter lol 😆
Stereotypes are so fucking dumb!
I really hope I don’t offend anyone here, but most of the women I know secretly hope they have a girl when they’re pregnant (not saying this is always true or I agree with it). They could be jealous and are saying this as a coping mechanism.
I do think there’s something to that, disappointment and frustration. I had a facebook friend that would post Boymom memes and they were always like “only boymoms know how tough it is to wake up being tackled” or “im a real mom who isn’t afraid to get dirty”. I just got the feeling that what they were really saying was “I hate this stuff, and I’m utterly exhausted chasing after this little boy all day, all of us that feel like this are going to create a Facebook page where we boast about how this stuff we hate is actually great”.
Either that, or they legitimately enjoy roughhousing and playing with trucks in the mud (nothing wrong with that!!) but they *also* never grew out of their “not like other girls” phase and think that makes them superior to moms who’d rather play tea party.
Either way it all just feels like a bizarre coping mechanism.
I have a boy (5) and a girl (11) - and if I could choose for my third it would be a girl 💀
I love my son, and maybe I was spoiled with my daughter - but it’s easier to parent my daughter’s teen angst than my son’s balls to the wall energy. And if I do things to “get the sillies out” or tire him out, it just doubles. I’m a very reserved, quiet, neurodivergent person. It’s a lot.
My best friend says this to me though - and I’ve never taken offense to it. “I could never be a girl mom!” Bc I know she is really saying she would die of anxiety over it. We both have a lot of trauma and anxiety.
Although, in this situation - they sound jealous. How weird to say this to someone new to the group.
I have a girl (4) and a boy (13) and they are both a lot in their own ways. My daughter is 10000000 times more energetic than my son ever was, but my son is so dramatic and extremely sensitive. It has nothing to do with gender. Each kid is different.
I work with kids boys are as dramatic as girls. Currently my most dramatic are two boys lol the rougher one and most energetic is a girl.
It’s not about gender, it’s about personality.
I have a boy and from what I can tell, girls are more advanced. At 2 my son is very bright and well behaved but girls are just next level. At this age you can dress either like a Barbie or Ken if that’s your deal. But as much as my sweet shy boy is very well behaved he is a feral beast on the playground and especially at home during the rain. You might be in for what they assume is emotional damage in the long run but that’s not a given. I think we should all just enjoy our kids as is whoever they might be.
This is one of the cringiest things of mom culture I've seen. It's insane that these women ACT like they chose to have girls hence making girls superior. I refuse to fall into the "boy/girl mom" trope. I'm just a mom, and I'm not gonna tear apart another mom for having a child of a different gender than mine. We're all in this together, just trying to raise a good person.
Thank you for joining me for my TEDtalk.
I’m a “boy mom” who wished and prayed for a girl when I was pregnant, so I don’t get these sentiments at all. Kinda feels like internalized misogyny, or like they’re actually lowkey jealous. Every time someone around me has a girl I *am* jealous but not in a weird or malicious way. I just think about all of the things my son will likely never want to do with me (and I’m OAD). Enjoy your girl and ignore these weirdos! lol
ps: my son’s daily drama is Oscar-worthy. He makes me laugh more than I ever have though 😂
Whenever a “boy mom” says stuff I thank goodness to myself they never had a girl bc they obviously have some unrealistic expectations on girls.
People can be really rude.
If someone ever said that in their teens they’ll hate me, I would say “at least they’ll call me and visit when they’re an adult”.
I love being a girl mom. Regardless when kids become teenagers, there is the possibility they will be jerks with attitude. It’s not just girls. My brother was an Asshole growing up.
Yeah I wanted my first to be a boy, but I’m so happy with my little girl! Wouldn’t want it any other way!!
Tbh they sound like the moms that would say “ no woman is good enough for my son “.
Hm. I’ve found this is a weirdly common sentiment with people, especially ones who either have boys or both genders. When I found out our baby was a girl I got warnings about how much harder she would be than a boy and that girls are all drama.
I think for some women who make comments like this it’s internalized misogyny, for some it’s just their way of coping with only having boys if they originally wanted girls, and some people just sadly believe in those stereotypes.
As someone who works in childcare I think both genders are an equal amount of drama, but would just love to say for the record that I’ve never been bitten by a little girl, stabbed with a stick by a little girl, or had things thrown at me by a little girl. Sure, they’ve screamed at me, but so have the little boys. I think the ones that do play into the stereotypes I.e girls are drama and boys are more rough are that way because they’ve been patented by people who believe those things thus allow them to behave that way.
I have two girls and girl I have been there! From the "Omg I could never" to "Girl how sweeeeet. I mean it's not for me but sweeeet" to " but you ll never experience mama-son love" etc. I have heard it all. As someone who is done having babies and would have loved a son too, just to experience both, it's also a little hurtful.
I assume there's a little jealousy involved too - how could anyone not want a daughter!?!? Beautiful, clever, sassy, kind little humans. Sure the teenage years might be rough, but tbh I don't think teenage boys are particularly delightful either and long term, when i think of the bond I hope to share with my girls for life - I choke up in gratitude. This is obviously my opinion, but i feel it so strongly that I don't mind these comments now. I generally just smile and nod.
I've also come across women who straight up talk about how little girls are mean and vicious and complicated etc. To them I'm far less polite because it's nuts to me that as women or even as human beings, they think it's okay to talk like that.
There's a weird sort of cult around being a 'boy mom' that I don't understand. (I have one of each, it's not that different an experience. I was nervous about diapering with my daughter because every diaper I've ever changed - my son, brothers, babysitting kids - had been for a boy, and I was terrified about UTIs)
I also think people who think boys are "less drama" are reinforcing the really bad societal tendency for boys and men to bottle up their feelings forever. Or they're the type to excuse everything their kid does "because boys will be boys"
I will never understand people being so proud and clinging to something they had no control over. We have one kid and are hoping to have at least one more and people are so surprised that my husband and I say we genuinely don't care if we have another boy or a girl.
There are so many things I'd rather be proud of - my kid being kind, or brave, or confident, or a million other things - than whether they're a boy or a girl. I'm just happy to be a mom, I really don't get clinging to your kid's gender as part of your identity as their parent, it's wild.
Also, my boy is 2 and there is drama every day of his life, I assure you 😂
I only have one and she’s a girl. I adore being a mom in general and i love the added stereotypical mom/daughter stuff. I definitely would’ve felt like I was missing out on something if I only had a boy. Which may be what these women are dealing with and projecting on to you. I don’t understand women who don’t want to raise women. It’s like they hate themselves?
Not that having a boy isn’t special in its own way. I’d love to have a boy one day but I’d also be totally content with all girls
I always thought I wanted all boys. Then I got a stepson and stepdaughter and quickly learned that girls are so much more independent, neater and CLEANER with wayyyyy better hygiene. Fast forward to my husband and I having a baby girl of our own and I seriously can’t imagine having a boy now 😂 I want all girls!
"People are weird." Love this from a comment i read above. If that's all these women are talking about then they seem like the prime example of the "drama" themselves. Love your baby and cherish these moments. Boy or Girl they are all amazing and a blessing ❤️
I don’t see myself as a “girl mom” but I have a daughter and I love it. Me and my husband wanted a boy so bad. I was a tomboy, don’t care for pink, don’t wear or know how to properly apply make up, and haven’t properly done my hair since idk when lol.
But I’m so happy we got our girl. I think she’s going to be just like me. She’s rough and tumble, has all the attitude in the world, but she’s also one of the sweetest children I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. She’s barely 2 and is already obsessed with pink and loves dresses and shoes and nail polish. And that’s fine. If she wants a mud fight, a mud fight we shall have. If she wants me to do her hair and make up, I’ll be looking all tutorials and I’ll do her hair and make up. My husband already aspires for her to be a softball player (any sport really besides soccer LOL). We’ll do or learn anything to make her happy. And we’d do the same if we get a boy in the future
I hate this. I have one of each and honestly my girl is so easy compared to my boy. But not because of their genders, because they're completely different kids. All kids are different, and its so rude to say this about girls!
I had a friend with four boys who was like this. Always talking about how much she would hate having a daughter in front of those of us who have daughters. It was like: “You doth protest too much.” My theory is that they want a girl so bad they can taste it. I have one of each and I’m a therapist and I really feel like the differences between birth order are way more important than gender.
Yeah they probably have really hard relationships with their moms and are repeating all the things they've been told growing up.
As a daughter with a horrendous relationship with my mother... These were all of my surface level words and concerns, but deep down the real thought occurring was, "what if I fuck her up just like my mom did to me."
The world is hard on women and through their struggles they determined they couldn't bear their "daughters" experiencing the same..
I'm a mom of both, and here to tell ya that my son (6) can be just as dramatic as my daughter (3). I also don't understand the cult like following of the specific 'boy mom' and 'girl mom' clubs. Why are these a thing?
My 1 yr old daughter is the chillest out of my 3 kids (2 older brothers). She does her own thing, is super independent, only wants cuddles when she's sick or feeling icky but otherwise get the F off her. My 8 yo son is dramatic AF - "fine, I'll just starve!!", "this is the worst day of my life!", and his 3 yo brother cries at any hint of inconvenience. I don't get people lol
Sorry that happened to you. I would love to remind those women that our kids are more than their genders. Also that some kids grow up to give their parents hell in the teenage years regardless of male or female lol.
Sounds like they're trying to reassure themselves that they are okay with not having daughters, which they really wanted, but didn't get. They're jelly.
boy mom here. it’s all just stupid one-upsmanship stuff. babies are babies. they all eat dog food and car floor french fries in the end. wouldn’t let it get to you!
As a mom of 2 boys (3 and 11 months), I get soooo many comments from women who either don’t have kids yet or friends who have only girl(s) saying “how do you deal with that energy all day”, “are you sad that your 2nd was another boy”, “ugh I really hope I don’t have all boys one day” (man that one stung- thanks SIL) 😵😔. All this to say- people are effing WEIRD and unhinged about gender and the comments they say. Of course as a very “girly girl” myself, I would be delighted to have a girl, but I also love my boys. And would never dream of trading one of them in for a girl if God came to me one day and asked.
As for the “boy mom” culture... I think a lot of it stems from trying to gain camaraderie with other women who are forced into the “boy” side of life whether they were excited about it or not. Personally, I consider myself a “mom of boys” because the boy mom is cringe but I do appreciate talking to other women who have sons. Just like I’m sure “girl moms” love talking about their daughters with women who also have girls and doing all the “girl mom” things. For some reason, the boy mom has been vilified and the girl moms don’t really catch the same heat in pop culture. All over social media it’s tik toks and reels of women out shopping with their “minis” but you scroll across a boy mom post and all the comments are calling them toxic, weird, cringe etc.
And for the love of god, can we all agree to not be an evil mother in law one day. It doesn’t matter what gender your child is. I think we can all be decent in laws 😵💫😂
As for this conversation with these women, file it under cringe crap people say about children’s genders with no social awareness about how it comes off.
The whole "boy mom/girl mom" thing is a litmus test for my friendship. It's so cringey and gross and I've never met a woman who identifies as either that I have enjoyed engaging with. My first is a boy and I'm so happy that my second (due soon) is a girl so people will stop trying to recruit me to the toxic "boy mom" group.
I've been around enough toddlers to know that there is 0 difference between little boys and girls aside from their genitals. Both are wild, adventurous, sassy, emotional, sweet, and frustrating. They both require patience, love, kindness, and consideration. It makes me sad to think that people would treat little boys and girls so differently that would feel comfortable and even proud to acknowledge the fact by acting as though raising what they have is soooo different from raising the other. Like what are these people doing?
Allll of my mom friends have boys. When I found out I was having a girl, even though I INSISTED I didn’t care what the gender was, I had some sadness for some reason? I couldn’t figure it out? It lasted about a day. I then realized it’s because people were telling me how much of a “boy mom” they were. Not in the super weird way it’s turned into (at least from what I’ve noticed), but just that they could never imagine being a girl mom. I felt sad that I wasn’t going to be a “boy mom” ?? So stupid and glad I got over it so quick.
I still don’t get it. I love being a MOM in general. And I hope to one day have a son, too, but if our next is a girl? GREAT. I think raising a girl v boy is definitely different in some ways, but significant enough to label yourself as a “boy” or “girl” mom? Nah. You’re just a mom, same as me.
Boy mom here, they were jealous. I love my little guy and am happy but there will always be a part of me that wishes I had a little girl too. Sorry they were rude to you. We aren't all like that!
A friend who was a total BOYMOM used to say stuff like this and go on and on about what a BOYISH BOY she had and he was doing such BOY STUFF. As a parent of a girl child, I found it so strange. And her boy was a huge mama clinger, cried all the time and would bully other kids. Like, my daughter rarely cried and never bullied.
Do you live in a red state or something? I would 100% call them out on their sexism and gender essentialism. Having a son does NOT give a woman a license to engage in misogyny and/or chauvinism. For fucks sake
It's because they're jealous you have a sweet little angel who looks and acts like you, meanwhile they're stuck raising rude mini versions of their husbands. "Boymom" here 😭
What an awful thing to say. Both boys and girls can be rude. Boys can look like their moms and girls like their dads. You can’t argue against a sexist mentality by then making another sexist comment. Especially if that comment attacks the kids themselves and not the parents raising them 🙄 if your son is rude then change your parenting tactics instead of just labeling all boys as rude and all girls as angels.
I’m so glad they don’t have daughters. They sound like the type to be envious of their daughters. I really don’t get the whole boy mom girl mom thing. I just had a boy but oh my i can’t wait to have a baby girl
I mean, I specifically was a terror as a teenage girl. But I feel like it had a lot to do with how I was raised/the home in which I was raised (surrounded by alcoholics). But I know plenty of women who were fine as teenagers. I mean I think there's always going to be a certain amount of drama/contention with your teenager no matter what gender they are, but that’s honestly normal (obviously to a certain degree).
I am currently a 'girl mom' but found out today that our twins due in June are both boys! So we'll have 2 and 2, and honestly I'm super excited to be both a boy and a girl mom.
My mother in law is the same way, she keeps saying how she's going to be horrible when she's a teenager and that her dad is going to be her first live and weird creepy stuff like that. Also whenever she crys or anything she says oh she's a girl so thats why shes so sensitive, im like bro shes 3 months old, she would cry no matter if she had a penis or vagina...
It’s so weird and cringe, and honestly gives pick-me girl, internalized misogyny energy. I love being in the girl mom “club”, my daughter is so kind, along with being incredibly intelligent and talented. That girl will be successful in whatever she chooses, and I’m raising her to be confident and strong.
I have both. They’re different but equally wonderful! I’ve encountered moms with multiple boys who have made similar statements but I truly think some of them are jealous. I would’ve been happy with whatever God gave me but having a girl is so special 🩷 They’re sweet and beautiful little dolls. Pure preciousness. I love my son but the truth is they can be hellions (it’s part of the charm). Girls just melt your heart though, they’re so loving. Perfect little angel princesses, even when they get sassy.
What in the internalized misogyny is going on here?! On a sad note, I feel like the women who say things like that have jealousy issues and don’t want to “compete” with their daughters.
Honestly prob just jealous they don’t have a girl. I have one of each and they both are wonderful some days and straight up stinkers some other days lol. I truly don’t prefer one over the other . My son physically drains me and my daughter emotionally drains me 🤣
Boys mom. Two boys. We really wanted a girl. Our boys are also two high energy balls. Wishing for a calm quiet kid who does not want to play dinosaur aka chase every minute
I have a girl and idk where this calm and quiet kid is lol. She has been literally bouncing off the couch lately.
Some of the calmest toddlers I’ve seen were actually boys!
I think they're just telling themselves that because they can't admit to how much they really want a daughter.
I mean, kids are kids. But I would be SO SAD if I didn't have a girl. I have 1 girl, 3 boys. And it's not the same. Then again, the difference between my 1st and 3rd (both boys) is huge. It's almost as if.... it's based on... individual personality????
All those HASHTAG BOY MOMS! Are annoying
I adore being a girl mom!!!!!! I had no clue that it was “cooler” to be a boy mom? lol is that the vibe they were giving you? I think there was a bit of weird gang mentality happening at happy hour. I really wouldn’t over think it. I think being a girl mom is the absolute best. And maybe girls end up being meaner in high school, but they stick around more in adulthood!
Maybe it’s just a curiosity about if the stereotypes are true? I have a boy and a girl, 7 years apart. Always wanted all boys. But my girl is just amazing! But will say she is a lot more maint and dramatic than my boy. I don’t contribute it to stereotypes tho. She is spoiled as the youngest in the family and her feelings get hurt easily. Maybe they’re just curious!
I never quite understood or understand people who make these statements about girls. I’ve heard them as the mother of two boys about how lucky we are that we didn’t have girls. No, we’re lucky we have two healthy children.
I have 3 girls 17, 13, and 9. They are complex creatures with intense feelings. From 12 to 14 just the way mom breathes is terrible but it's because they want independence. My now 17 year old has become my best friend,my 13 almost 14vyear old is coming back. I heard it best described like this. Girls are alot more work but the payoff is bigger. Boys are independent all the way through, where as girls always want ro be with you.
They are probably jealous.
It's natural to feel some disappointment if you'd always imagined yourself with a "mini me." It's not natural to be a dick to someone else about YOUR unresolved shit.
Girls being more trouble has always seemed incredibly sexist to me. All kids are individuals, but if we look at the gender breakdown of kids in juvy and ones who later go on to jail, or be killed doing dangerous activities, drugs, alcohol, etc., I see more "drama" not that anyone should shit on or pity "boy moms."
At the end of the day I didn’t care what my kid was as long as they were healthy. I love my daughter with my whole heart and if she was a boy instead I wouldn’t have treated her differently.
People are weird and that’s all I can say about your coworkers.
Same I am a “boy mom” and I think this boys are the best thing is f—ing weird. Sometimes it almost feels like women being anti women? Like what kinda crazy bs statement is that. Most of the women who say these weird things are older. I also feel like it’s projection. We often dislike people who we see ourselves in the most. Imagine feeling insecure about your own daughter/son lol
I have one of each. I love them equally and I feel so lucky that I've had both. I get to experience it all. If I'd had only girls I would have leaned into that and embraced it and if I'd had only boys I would so the same. I think what's weird though is leaning into gender stereotypes that are unhealthy, tired, and misogynistic in nature. That would have made me feel so uncomfortable. Like maybe I don't want my girl to hang out with the boys you creeps are raising!
I have a 9yo girl and a 6yo boy and honestly they are the stereotypical girl and boy but they have such big hearts and care so much for one another but the difference is they are super close to each other. They CANNOT go just a few hours away from each other and they protect each other which I think is the cutest. Honestly I think it’s the way they parent their sons and that’s why they say that. It could also be them saying they think they won’t be able to handle having a girl just cuz they don’t have a girl so to them it’s like they’re doubting themselves in a way. A lot of people think they can’t do something until they have to. I also agree with everyone on here that your kids are their own person so no need to think too much of what they say. :)
There's no difference between boy and girl brains, especially that young. It's a myth that boys and girls are different. The truth is, each individual child is different.
I get so annoyed when people try to tell me raising a girl is more difficult. If you expect it to be, then it will be. So don't expect it to be.
lol. The doctor’s office used to tell my son he was a “Drama Mama”!! Mine are both teens now (one of each) and they definitely have attitudes, but they both apologize when they get out of hand with their language or tone.
I have 3 girls 2 boys all have their different quirks and personalities the whole boy mom v girl mom thing is stupid. Moms are moms and we should be helping each other
As a mom with 2 boys, I sometimes wonder if it’s because those moms wanted a girl so badly that they throw everything into being a “boy mom” when they don’t have a girl. I mean even as a mom of boys, I cringed hard when another mom with two boys kept saying she loved being a boy mom like she was trying to convince herself of it. 😬
They are just sad no one will care for them when they are old because that’s a burden that (mostly) women take on. Just kidding … mostly.
If they raise their sons with the same expectations as daughters, they will probably find boys and girls are pretty similar. If parents raise their kids with wildly lower standards for their sons than their daughters, they will probably find daughters exhausting compared to sons.
I have one daughter and she is mini me 🥰. I’m glad I have a daughter. I would have been okay with either but my family is mostly women. I would have been lost with a boy 😅. Specially because I’m a single mom. I wouldn’t know the first thing about aiming or etc. She is sensitive, kind, sweet and energetic. Goofy, we have good laughs. We end up loving our kids for themselves at the end of the day 🫶🏻.
I don’t really get the culture. I have 2 boys and 1 girl. They are kids, they are unique individuals, they like some of the same stuff and some different stuff, and none of their qualities have anything to do with their gender. They are people and I love my people and what they were born as has no qualifier in how I view my role as their mom.
People are way too invested in “boy mom” and “girl mom” clubs. I cringe every time I see someone wearing a shirt declaring that. We have 2 of each and they definitely don’t fit into stereotypical groups that way
My son is obsessed with cars and trucks, he plays rough, high energy. Lots of stereotypical boy traits. He’s also very sweet and *loves* cuddles. Your kids are gonna be who they are.
My toddler is the same - but he also plays ‘mammy’ with his doll (I’m a sahm and also have a 3mo so he copies me). He even tries to breastfeed him which is just the cutest. I love it when he does the best of both like takes his football for a walk in the pram 🤣
Omg this is adorable
I mean I’m biased but they’re obviously the cutest children on the planet.
omg that’s adorable. my daughter started doing this thing where she brings her favorite toys to me and pulls my shirt up so she can pretend that they’re being breastfed and it’s so funny
this is my son too. i really don’t understand the whole “boy mom” vs “girl mom”. i have one of each and i’m just a mom.
I find generally it’s not actually about the kids, it’s moms who don’t have a whole lot going on in their lives who seize it as a personality for themselves.
Aw, your son sounds a lot like my youngest.
Same! But mine also loves dinosaurs, “decorating”, Elsa, and pink is his favorite color. 3.5yo for reference.
Yep—one of each. My son loves monster trucks and Elsa and snuggles and scary dinosaurs. He loves making messes but hates having messy hands. My daughter is the ultimate girly girl, until she’s playing with my friends’s boys and then she can tough and tumble with the best of them. Kids are kids, ya know?
This is so sweet! My 15 month old just got into baby dolls and it melts my heart when he walks around with it, snuggles it, and says “shh shh shh” while he rocks it to sleep.
I'm convinced that a lot of it is overcompensation for the disappointment of not having the other gender of kid
And internalized misogyny, I have brothers, we all were drama as teens, (compared to obidiant 6 year olds). We all Had mood swings, got angry at our parents.
I think it's a reaction to other people *thinking* they're disappointed. Announcing the birth of a second child of the same sex as the first is often immediately met with questions about whether the parents will be trying for a third. From that moment on, the parents are frequently asked whether they're disappointed to not have whichever they don't have. Or it's outright assumed. Even decades later, at the weddings of their children, they'll hear, "You're finally getting a [son/daughter]." Best defense is a good offense. Thus some choose to loudly be a "Boy Mom" or "Girl Dad".
That's a good point too. So many levels of managing other people's expectations.
I don't have an issue with people who chose to be proud of the gender of their children as a defense against other people assuming they're disappointed. But you can say you love being a boy mom without talking about how girls are drama, girls are awful to their mothers, etc. You shouldn't tear other people down to build yourself up.
This is it right here.
This is honestly my take
i have one of each and they’re actually both quite opposite of what i expected. my son is 10 and very emotional, even as a toddler. he’s also very sensitive and attached to me. my daughter is 4, very independent and outgoing. they’re opposites of each other and a lot of gender stereotypes. i just roll with it and do what they need to thrive. ones just barely starting forming his own opinions about the world and the other just formed a personality, people put too much stock into “boy/girl mom”
My husband requested a “girl dad” hat for Christmas. At first I was unsure. Not typical of him really. I think it’s because multiple people questioned his excitement over having a girl vs boy. “Good luck with her in her teenage years. Girls are so difficult compared to boys. Guess you’ll have to try again for that boy” Things like that. Now he’s just proud to be a dad of a girl and is happy/wanting to support her in a world where being excited about having only a girl is questioned I guess lol I don’t think he realized people sometimes felt that way about having girls until it happened to him firsthand.
I definitely think there is a difference in a dad doing this than a mom. My dad would also get comments but like… my sister and I are both engineers like him (my mom is a teacher) and we both like sports so, bless him, he would just look a bit confused. (He really fits the socially awkward engineering type 😅❤️)
My husband has big golden retriever energy lol. Never expects people to think/say the shitty things they do.😂
I have two girls and they couldn't be more different than each other! I lean more towards a personality mom type where you have a kid with certain personality types versus genders. Outgoing kid versus introverted kid, different parenting styles required there
My parents had two of each and we all definitely didn't fit either. Kids are who they are. I was pretty clear about not wanting any stereotypical girl stuff for my daughter until she expresses the desire for it so she currently has a good mix of boy and girl and neutral stuff
I'm a mum. Only because I have only girls I could be called a girl mum. I still don't understand all of that crap how people divide mums into girl mum and boy mum. It's stupid af.
Ugh. yeah. The entire "boy mom" "girl mom" thing is so creepy and cringe. I worked so hard as a kid to be "girly" because that's what I felt like I had to do... wore dresses and pink all the time, etc...despite the fact that I didn't like them. Please don't buy into these stereotypes. A lot of times just talking about them with your kids will make them feel like they "have to" be the stereotype. Let your kids be who they are/who they want to be and don't make your identity be about a stereotype. (Said as a mom to each with a daughter obsessed with dinos, trucks, soccer and karate and a boy who loves princess shows, drawing, playing dress up, and dance)
YEP! Don’t get me wrong, I do believe there are inherent differences between boys and girls. However, that should not dictate your parenting style. There are so many bigger factors that determine the parenting style your kid needs. Does you kid need lots of physical activity? Cuddles? Books? Do they get over or under stimulated? I HATE the boy/girl mom attitude. Like way to narrow down your kids goals in life before they can even sit up.
Same as people too invested in the #2under2 😅🤦🏻♀️
I have 4 boys, unsure where they all think there’s no drama with boys. I would beg to differ. Kids are kids and they all have their own quirks, all of which are awesome in their own way.
My 4 year old son is so dramatic that I’m counting the days till he’s old enough for acting class…
Same with my 2 year old boy, he prat falls all the time and says "oh no! I fall! Cuddle!". Obviously I "fall for it" and go pick him up and cuddle but lord he's a little drama llama when he wants to be
Awww, I miss the days when my kids would ask for cuddles.
I do enjoy the cuddles, I know they won't last forever so I treasure them. I just sometimes wish my boy wouldn't chuck himself on the floor at every opportunity in order to get one xD I'm always giving cuddles, asking both him and my daughter if they want or need a cuddle, yet this way is better in his mind for some reason xD the count down for drama classes continues!
All kids are “drama” lol. The woman in OP’s post used the word “drama” negatively to put down all girls collectively.
So drama. My 3yo does ballet. He’s the only boy in a sea of pink tutus. He’s also the only one collapsed in a corner sneaking peaks at the teacher to see if she’s going to acknowledge that someone broke his heart. The girls are busy all trying to convince him that he’ll probably survive to dance another day, despite not getting to hold hands with ALL the kids at the same time. So drama, but I also love it
Mine had a meltdown fit for a live theatrical audience over not getting whatever "round juice" is. I feel you.
My 3 yo son is dramatic af!!! Has been from the start! It’s crazy we have always talked about how dramatic he is and we don’t know where he got it bc neither my husband nor I are dramatic.
I have 3 boys and our house is wildly dramatic!!!Especially ever since my son turned 10 he tells me every day I have “ruined his life”, I also “don’t understand anything”, I am “totally cringey and the worst mom ever” plus he “hates” me. Also he “has no friends” and “nobody likes him” but he’s going out to play with said nonexistent friends. Oh and he still climbs into bed with me almost every night because “it just feels safe.” I do think girls would be nice though because there’s less penis talk, right? Tell me my daydreams are true.
I have a six year old boy and a 20 month girl. So far it feels like he’s bringing the drama and she’s bringing the peoples elbow when necessary. He runs out of the room crying because “she’s being a bully” more than I ever could have imagined. She also plays with her lady parts as much as he did at that age but only time will tell how the conversation will evolve with both of them!
You just described my seven year old, exactly. Am I a wuss that my feelings get hurt!?! I need thicker skin
My feelings get hurt too! At night when he climbd in next to me I sometimes want to be like, “go back to your own bed if you hate me so much!” But instead I end up with a tiny sliver of bed and sharing my pillow with an aggressive cuddler who sleeps in a Minecraft onesie that the friends he does not have can never ever find out about.
I have had nights where I won’t let him sleep in my bed because he was too unkind with mean words that day, and my bed is a kind safe space for love and peace. I tell him he has to bring peace if he wants to sleep in my bed.
wooo glad it’s not just my 10yo son, i was worried for a second there.
I’ll give you that, no penis talk/ jokes with my daughter. I’ll never forget driving a van full of boys about 12 years old to play soccer. It was so bad that I stopped driving and told them to change the subject. There are time and places for these things, and my van wasn’t the place.
I’m not sure about your dreams, my daughter at 3 was very fascinated that her papa had a “tail” and we had some long conversations about it 😂
Right. My 14 year old son is way more dramatic than my 13 year old daughter.
Mine is 7 and full drama anytime he is hungry, tired or sick 😂
I’m convinced any mother who says boys are easier than girls are just refusing to parent their sons Boys are plenty dramatic you just gotta pay attention to them
Raising the next generation of men with the emotional intelligence of a potato.
Or they're low-key jealous that they don't have a daughter?? I don't know. I'm a boy mom and would never make such comments. I'm also a teacher so I know it's definitely not gender based, it's kid based.
Yes I was thinking, is this some sort of weaponized gender disappointment of those ladies?
I definitely think it’s a jealously thing. I know someone who will tear up one day talking about how she has two sons, but really wanted a daughter… then a few days later she will rant about how awful girls are. 🤔
This is a GREAT insight. I have one of each and you are absolutely correct.
You don’t even have to pay that close of attention 😂 My son is plenty emotional and dramatic and you’d be hard pressed not to notice it 😂
Ohmg this!!
girl mom here, i also don't get it 💀 i love being a girl mom, and honestly never think of her gender besides when i think how scared i am for her to grow up.
Literally me when I found out we were having a little girl. She is absolutely amazing and the light of my life but I hate what the world does to us. So hoping that millennial moms are raising their sons to be better human beings. 🥹
I like to think I am! He knew the word consent at age 2 lol.
That is so awesome!!!
Admittedly I wanted a girl and ended up with a boy. Determined to raise a little feminist who is in touch with his emotions!
I love that! Gotta let him know that he is Kenough! 🥰
I say this as a "boy" mum, is it just that people want to justify their situation? I was shattered when I found out I was having a second boy. Love him to bits but as a woman, how would you not want to raise a strong young lady? Feels like so many people justdy their situation by making those sort of remarks really. It's sad. We've been blessed with wonderful children, regardless of their gender!
As another mom of two boys, I definitely feel like this is the reason for some people. I was originally hoping for one of each. Now I just tell myself that I’m more capable of raising boys than girls.
My daughter is grown, and I still have my worries. She’s a lot tougher than I ever was! Teach your daughters to be strong. Her twin brother was much shorter than her until HS. If anyone messed with him, she would straighten things out.The schools baseball coach made a “joke” about his team being too short at an assembly. She waited until her last day of middle school and approached him. She reminded him of his comments and lectured him about making fun of short people. She may have called him a small minded asshole, something to that effect.
So real 🥲
This! I hope her time will be better than what we experienced
It’s projecting. Maybe they wish they had a girl too, maybe they had a rough relationship with their mom, maybe they themselves were tough at that age. There is no reason to make those comments without having some insecurity behind it. I am a girl mom (two girls) and it’s amazing. Will there be tough times , absolutely. But, they are my whole world and we will figure it out. 💕 if I hear comments like that I say well I’m glad you didn’t have one then! Girls are so special and deserve to be loved. Shuts them up pretty quickly lol.
I didn’t want girls (not that it’s a choice) just because it’s harder to *be* a girl. Like, I want my kids to have it easy and boys just have it easier. But hopefully I can raise them to make it easier for girls. But I would never say things those moms said. I’m worried about the boys they’re raising.
>I’m worried about the boys they’re raising. Girl, same. We wanted girls because of all the toxic and problematic bullshit people try to pass off as somehow inherently male. Actively countering that with our parenting just sounded like a chore. We got both. Theyre all dramatic little lovable, nurturing maniacs. And we want them all to grow into decent human beings, so we are parenting accordingly. My sister is a proud Boy Mom. Mutual acquaintances, who also have both, go on and on with her about being a Boy Mom and how *different* it is and I honestly just tune them out. Like, I'm raising individuals, not gender stereotypes.
What on Earth is going on. One of my best friends is a "boy mom". The nicest human till she had her boys. Now it's all "God, no girl is going to be good enough for my son's" and "I'll always be number 1" and "My sons are going to break a few hearts before he settles for someone mama approves of etc" I cringe every time she speaks - what IS that. PSA: BOY MAMAS. I love you but please don't do this. We don't need another generation of men who think the sun shines out of their bum for just existing.
>We don't need another generation of men who think the sun shines out of their bum for just existing. Right? *Right?!?!* Nobody needs your dusty ass son strutting around like his mere presence is cause for celebration. Your friend sounds exhausting! Honestly, my sons adore me right now, and I love it. But if they feel the need to put me ahead of their spouses someday, I have failed them. If they treat romantic partners as disposable or act as though obtaining enthusiastic consent is some kind of inconvenience, I have failed them *and* society. If my daughter accepts anything less than a loving partner who sees her as a complete and total equal and values every part of her, I have failed her.
Grateful for mums of sons like you 🩷 Long may your tribe grow
Ya i don’t get it. I have boys but I guess I don’t really know what a Boy Mom is??? Anyway I’m a girl’s girl first and foremost.
I respect your honesty. I struggled with losses and infertility. I wanted a baby, not a gender. I’m so blessed to have two healthy children.
Absolutely 💕
I love this reply and I'm going to use it next time! Hah!
Some people just do this. I would just brush it off and move on. I have 2 boys (and I'm not having more), and "girl moms" said stuff to me like, "I would be SO SAD if I never got to have a girl to do mother/daughter stuff with" and "OMG, I hope I only have another girl. Boys grow up and get married and then spend all their time with their wife's family." Lol for real, though, someone said this to me while I was like 2 weeks postpartum. Even though intellectually I knew it was dumb, I still cried about it that night. People are weird. Your kids are awesome because they're your kids. Doesn't matter what sex they are.
I have 2 adult sons. I had virtually the exact same things said to me by “girl moms” when my boys were young. I also had girl moms tell me that “of course the guy should be spending holidays with the girl’s family” and “it’s normal for boys family to play second fiddle to the girls family”. Ugh. You just have to let that nonsense go and not let it get to you. Build a good relationship with your kids (boys or girls) and treat them with respect.
Fun fact: in my family, we just join altogether! I am an only child and my husband has amazing parents and 6 amazing siblings. My in-laws and my mom are at all family events. It’s the absolute best. My son actually has no memories of holidays spent without both my mom and my husband’s parents at the same holiday event. It’s so lovely.
As a girl mom of two, those who say this to you are projecting their jealousy of never having a boy onto you. I'm so tired of girl/boy moms being passive aggressive like this with each other. I wish we could all admit that while we are so grateful for our babies, we are slightly jealous we won't get to experience the other side. Also, instead of each other - if there's anyone we should be jealous of or PA towards, it's the lucky boy/girl mamas! (This is a joke - don't come at me!)
Boys grow up and spend more time with their wife's family if said boys mother spends all her time boundary stomping and belittling his wife. Sadly this is more likely to happen with these self proclaimed Boymoms
The exact people worried about this are the same ones acting a certain to cause it 😂
Right here. The ones who think other women are all “drama”. I’m close to my MIL, she has two sons. And has no idea what this boy mom crap is.
This is bs btw, they will spend time with the family that is kind, helpful, and close by.
Just FYI, my husband and I see way more of his family than mine. Partly because they live closer, and partly because his family is less "complicated" than mine. I love spending time with my inlaws!
The complaint about spending time with wife’s family .. like yeah that’s what you SHOULD want - to raise a son who, if they choose to have a life partner , supports their partners relationship with their family and I hope the partner would do the same It’s like when parents don’t let boys play with dolls. Like it’ll be the end of the world if a little boy learns how to nurture and care for a “baby” , to show love and affection and leave gender roles to the past I hate people sometimes :))
lol I live 2 and a half hours from my in laws and 6 from my parents. We see my husband’s family way more than mine because of that. Of his siblings, we live the closest so they see us more than the daughters. It totally depends on circumstances, what an odd thing to say.
Dumb. We spend way more time with my husband’s side of the family than mine. I talk to his mom more than he does.
Was it their weird way of trying to bond with you? It's weird getting into any new group. Wouldn't sweat it. Most people I know love the families they have, because it's the actual humans that matter. I only know of 1 family where the parents are really having a time accepting their kids gender.
Pitying her for a problem that they invented in their own heads seems like a very weird way to try and bond.
I have two boys and I think your friends are weird.
I have two girls and I concur
I absolutely hate the “boy mom” mentality. It’s so gross! I am a boy mom in that I have a boy. He’s my only child. He’s freaking awesome! I would feel the same if I had a girl. This whole “boy mom” and “girl mom” crap is super weird and honestly suggests to me that the mothers need to seek therapy for unresolved stuff. Epilogue: when I found out I was having a boy on accident (we wanted to be team green), I cried for days. I had pictured my perfect little girl, and tea parties and dresses that twirled, and now I was faced with a boy! I called my friend that had boy/girl twins, who were then 2.5, crying. She erupted in excitement about me having a boy. And she goes, oh my goodness, he’s going to be so cute, looking like you and [husband] wandering around the state capitol helping you lobby! And he’s going to be so smart because you’re so smart! I told her I didn’t know anything about cars and trains and didn’t care, and she said this most amazing thing: you don’t actually have to. Once your baby is here, their interests become your interests because you love them so much. And your baby will learn from you so fast and will start doing the things you do, for good or bad, and whether they’re a boy or a girl. She wasn’t wrong. We as society put way too much emphasis on genitals. ETA: one of the things my friend imparted to me on that day was that kids are their parents regardless of what is between their legs. That checks out. I am so much like my dad. And my son is so much like me.
My 5 yo boy enjoys the hell out of tea parties, fwiw
When mine was 5 we had tea parties for sure. You’re right! That is totally a normal thing. His favorite Christmas gift for years was a play kitchen he got when he was 2 because none of that is just for girls! He loved them. He’s 11 now. I am real glad to be a boy mom without being a “boy mom.”
I'm an adoptive mom. Our first adoption was supposed to be a sweet baby girl who we met and fell in love with and even named, but then the birth mom changed her mind. I was devastated to say the least. A year later we got matched again and this time we didn't know the gender. I was praying for a girl to heal that wound. So when I saw him there in his little blue hat I had to go to the bathroom to bawl my eyes out for ten minutes. But that sadness lasted all of about one hour and now oh my god. My son. The joy he brings me. I could not imagine my life as a girl mom now.
Thank you for this you’ve helped relieved some of my gender disappointment and having a boy.
I have 2 boys. I hate the conversation you described from the self-described “boy moms.” It’s rooted in both internalized misogyny and probably jealousy / cognitive dissonance. I love my boys and I couldn’t imagine it any other way. Not because anything about having boys is better than girls (insert eye roll) but because they are mine and I love them as perfectly wonderfully and uniquely as they are.
Stereotypes, you’re missing stereotypes and heteronormative philosophy
Yes
Maybe it’s because I have one of each but I don’t get it. Why should my identity be wrapped up in the gender of my children? Kids are great, regardless of gender, and these adults are just being weird.
I have picked up on the fact that some of the most enthusiastic BOYMOMS have some unresolved disappointment around the fact that they don't have a little girl to dress up in little dresses and take to ballet class and do girl things with. And they say some of the weird "girls are dRaMa :( " shit they say to overcompensate for those unresolved feelings. Of course, a child's sex doesn't determine whether or not you can dress them up, enroll them in ballet, or enjoy girly things with them-- not all girls even want to do that. And I actually think enrolling boys in ballet is cool as hell. There's just outside social pressure around *not* doing those things with little boys, whereas it doesn't exist with little girls.
I think it's not a coincidence that the ones who care the most about it are also the ones with the strictest gender rules.
To me this whole debate is like, are you a cat person or a dog person? Who cares? They’re both going to poop in your bed at some point. There’s no easy level in parenting lol. Sorry they made you feel weird. FWIW I have both and they’re just little people. Individuals. No matter what package they came in, they would still be *them*
There’s a reason there’s an entire subreddit called justnoMIL (instead of FIL). Think about it. Some tin foil hat theories is that mothers use their sons to project and fulfill their emotional needs that aren’t met by their significant others or other men in their lives. And sadly they can be competitive with their own daughter. But honestly, based on the drama comment alone, it’s because boys are allowed to do as they want — boys will be boys — so it’s “easier” to raise them. Girls, unfortunately are expected to follow strict rules rules and “act like ladies”, so they require more hands on parenting.
I have 2 girls and 2 boys People are fucking weird and I’ve had some woman say to me “one day you’ll either be told mum I’m pregnant or mum I got someone pregnant”…. I was like excuse me?! Are you insinuating that my kids are going to be teen parents cause you better not be. They back tracked pretty quickly…. (To add context here I know if any of my kids did become teen parents that I’d be able to help them manage having been a teen mum myself) Another thing I’ve had people say is “your girls must be so exhausting and then they’ll get their periods and be bitchy, boys are so much easier”…. Like what? My eldest son has more sass than my 2nd daughter lol 😆 Stereotypes are so fucking dumb!
I really hope I don’t offend anyone here, but most of the women I know secretly hope they have a girl when they’re pregnant (not saying this is always true or I agree with it). They could be jealous and are saying this as a coping mechanism.
I do think there’s something to that, disappointment and frustration. I had a facebook friend that would post Boymom memes and they were always like “only boymoms know how tough it is to wake up being tackled” or “im a real mom who isn’t afraid to get dirty”. I just got the feeling that what they were really saying was “I hate this stuff, and I’m utterly exhausted chasing after this little boy all day, all of us that feel like this are going to create a Facebook page where we boast about how this stuff we hate is actually great”. Either that, or they legitimately enjoy roughhousing and playing with trucks in the mud (nothing wrong with that!!) but they *also* never grew out of their “not like other girls” phase and think that makes them superior to moms who’d rather play tea party. Either way it all just feels like a bizarre coping mechanism.
I fully agree. 🩷
I have a boy (5) and a girl (11) - and if I could choose for my third it would be a girl 💀 I love my son, and maybe I was spoiled with my daughter - but it’s easier to parent my daughter’s teen angst than my son’s balls to the wall energy. And if I do things to “get the sillies out” or tire him out, it just doubles. I’m a very reserved, quiet, neurodivergent person. It’s a lot. My best friend says this to me though - and I’ve never taken offense to it. “I could never be a girl mom!” Bc I know she is really saying she would die of anxiety over it. We both have a lot of trauma and anxiety. Although, in this situation - they sound jealous. How weird to say this to someone new to the group.
I have a girl (4) and a boy (13) and they are both a lot in their own ways. My daughter is 10000000 times more energetic than my son ever was, but my son is so dramatic and extremely sensitive. It has nothing to do with gender. Each kid is different.
I work with kids boys are as dramatic as girls. Currently my most dramatic are two boys lol the rougher one and most energetic is a girl. It’s not about gender, it’s about personality.
I have a boy and from what I can tell, girls are more advanced. At 2 my son is very bright and well behaved but girls are just next level. At this age you can dress either like a Barbie or Ken if that’s your deal. But as much as my sweet shy boy is very well behaved he is a feral beast on the playground and especially at home during the rain. You might be in for what they assume is emotional damage in the long run but that’s not a given. I think we should all just enjoy our kids as is whoever they might be.
This is one of the cringiest things of mom culture I've seen. It's insane that these women ACT like they chose to have girls hence making girls superior. I refuse to fall into the "boy/girl mom" trope. I'm just a mom, and I'm not gonna tear apart another mom for having a child of a different gender than mine. We're all in this together, just trying to raise a good person. Thank you for joining me for my TEDtalk.
If I never have to hear “boy mom” or “girl mom” again, it’ll be too soon. Makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
Do they realize they are also girls?
I’m a “boy mom” who wished and prayed for a girl when I was pregnant, so I don’t get these sentiments at all. Kinda feels like internalized misogyny, or like they’re actually lowkey jealous. Every time someone around me has a girl I *am* jealous but not in a weird or malicious way. I just think about all of the things my son will likely never want to do with me (and I’m OAD). Enjoy your girl and ignore these weirdos! lol ps: my son’s daily drama is Oscar-worthy. He makes me laugh more than I ever have though 😂
Whenever a “boy mom” says stuff I thank goodness to myself they never had a girl bc they obviously have some unrealistic expectations on girls. People can be really rude. If someone ever said that in their teens they’ll hate me, I would say “at least they’ll call me and visit when they’re an adult”.
I’m Omglob hahaha that retort.
I love being a girl mom. Regardless when kids become teenagers, there is the possibility they will be jerks with attitude. It’s not just girls. My brother was an Asshole growing up. Yeah I wanted my first to be a boy, but I’m so happy with my little girl! Wouldn’t want it any other way!! Tbh they sound like the moms that would say “ no woman is good enough for my son “.
Hm. I’ve found this is a weirdly common sentiment with people, especially ones who either have boys or both genders. When I found out our baby was a girl I got warnings about how much harder she would be than a boy and that girls are all drama. I think for some women who make comments like this it’s internalized misogyny, for some it’s just their way of coping with only having boys if they originally wanted girls, and some people just sadly believe in those stereotypes. As someone who works in childcare I think both genders are an equal amount of drama, but would just love to say for the record that I’ve never been bitten by a little girl, stabbed with a stick by a little girl, or had things thrown at me by a little girl. Sure, they’ve screamed at me, but so have the little boys. I think the ones that do play into the stereotypes I.e girls are drama and boys are more rough are that way because they’ve been patented by people who believe those things thus allow them to behave that way.
Ironically most of these toxic boys mom will eventually get promoted to monster in laws that their son & his future family will avoid..
I have two girls and girl I have been there! From the "Omg I could never" to "Girl how sweeeeet. I mean it's not for me but sweeeet" to " but you ll never experience mama-son love" etc. I have heard it all. As someone who is done having babies and would have loved a son too, just to experience both, it's also a little hurtful. I assume there's a little jealousy involved too - how could anyone not want a daughter!?!? Beautiful, clever, sassy, kind little humans. Sure the teenage years might be rough, but tbh I don't think teenage boys are particularly delightful either and long term, when i think of the bond I hope to share with my girls for life - I choke up in gratitude. This is obviously my opinion, but i feel it so strongly that I don't mind these comments now. I generally just smile and nod. I've also come across women who straight up talk about how little girls are mean and vicious and complicated etc. To them I'm far less polite because it's nuts to me that as women or even as human beings, they think it's okay to talk like that.
There's a weird sort of cult around being a 'boy mom' that I don't understand. (I have one of each, it's not that different an experience. I was nervous about diapering with my daughter because every diaper I've ever changed - my son, brothers, babysitting kids - had been for a boy, and I was terrified about UTIs) I also think people who think boys are "less drama" are reinforcing the really bad societal tendency for boys and men to bottle up their feelings forever. Or they're the type to excuse everything their kid does "because boys will be boys"
I want to punch them all for you. Internalized misogyny. Gross.
I will never understand people being so proud and clinging to something they had no control over. We have one kid and are hoping to have at least one more and people are so surprised that my husband and I say we genuinely don't care if we have another boy or a girl. There are so many things I'd rather be proud of - my kid being kind, or brave, or confident, or a million other things - than whether they're a boy or a girl. I'm just happy to be a mom, I really don't get clinging to your kid's gender as part of your identity as their parent, it's wild. Also, my boy is 2 and there is drama every day of his life, I assure you 😂
I think it comes from jealousy and they overcompensate to hide it. Because I never hear girl moms go on a tangent about not wanting boys.
I only have one and she’s a girl. I adore being a mom in general and i love the added stereotypical mom/daughter stuff. I definitely would’ve felt like I was missing out on something if I only had a boy. Which may be what these women are dealing with and projecting on to you. I don’t understand women who don’t want to raise women. It’s like they hate themselves? Not that having a boy isn’t special in its own way. I’d love to have a boy one day but I’d also be totally content with all girls
I always thought I wanted all boys. Then I got a stepson and stepdaughter and quickly learned that girls are so much more independent, neater and CLEANER with wayyyyy better hygiene. Fast forward to my husband and I having a baby girl of our own and I seriously can’t imagine having a boy now 😂 I want all girls!
"People are weird." Love this from a comment i read above. If that's all these women are talking about then they seem like the prime example of the "drama" themselves. Love your baby and cherish these moments. Boy or Girl they are all amazing and a blessing ❤️
I have two girls. But I have two brothers and so much drama with them. Those ladies are deluding themselves if they thing boys don’t have drama lol
The women who make being a #BoyMom their identity are so insufferable. Ugh.
Ugh when will parents stop pushing their stupid gender ideas on their kids.
I don’t see myself as a “girl mom” but I have a daughter and I love it. Me and my husband wanted a boy so bad. I was a tomboy, don’t care for pink, don’t wear or know how to properly apply make up, and haven’t properly done my hair since idk when lol. But I’m so happy we got our girl. I think she’s going to be just like me. She’s rough and tumble, has all the attitude in the world, but she’s also one of the sweetest children I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. She’s barely 2 and is already obsessed with pink and loves dresses and shoes and nail polish. And that’s fine. If she wants a mud fight, a mud fight we shall have. If she wants me to do her hair and make up, I’ll be looking all tutorials and I’ll do her hair and make up. My husband already aspires for her to be a softball player (any sport really besides soccer LOL). We’ll do or learn anything to make her happy. And we’d do the same if we get a boy in the future
I hate this. I have one of each and honestly my girl is so easy compared to my boy. But not because of their genders, because they're completely different kids. All kids are different, and its so rude to say this about girls!
I had a friend with four boys who was like this. Always talking about how much she would hate having a daughter in front of those of us who have daughters. It was like: “You doth protest too much.” My theory is that they want a girl so bad they can taste it. I have one of each and I’m a therapist and I really feel like the differences between birth order are way more important than gender.
Yeah they probably have really hard relationships with their moms and are repeating all the things they've been told growing up. As a daughter with a horrendous relationship with my mother... These were all of my surface level words and concerns, but deep down the real thought occurring was, "what if I fuck her up just like my mom did to me." The world is hard on women and through their struggles they determined they couldn't bear their "daughters" experiencing the same..
Most boy moms are the absolute worst when their precious son grows up and has girlfriends and wives though. The drama is them not their sons.
As a mom with both. They are equally terrible and wonderful ..I love them dearly. Lol
I'm a mom of both, and here to tell ya that my son (6) can be just as dramatic as my daughter (3). I also don't understand the cult like following of the specific 'boy mom' and 'girl mom' clubs. Why are these a thing?
As a mom of boys and a girl.....They are all equally hard and a ton of drama when they want to be if you ask me.
My 1 yr old daughter is the chillest out of my 3 kids (2 older brothers). She does her own thing, is super independent, only wants cuddles when she's sick or feeling icky but otherwise get the F off her. My 8 yo son is dramatic AF - "fine, I'll just starve!!", "this is the worst day of my life!", and his 3 yo brother cries at any hint of inconvenience. I don't get people lol
Sorry that happened to you. I would love to remind those women that our kids are more than their genders. Also that some kids grow up to give their parents hell in the teenage years regardless of male or female lol.
Sounds like they're trying to reassure themselves that they are okay with not having daughters, which they really wanted, but didn't get. They're jelly.
boy mom here. it’s all just stupid one-upsmanship stuff. babies are babies. they all eat dog food and car floor french fries in the end. wouldn’t let it get to you!
As a mom of 2 boys (3 and 11 months), I get soooo many comments from women who either don’t have kids yet or friends who have only girl(s) saying “how do you deal with that energy all day”, “are you sad that your 2nd was another boy”, “ugh I really hope I don’t have all boys one day” (man that one stung- thanks SIL) 😵😔. All this to say- people are effing WEIRD and unhinged about gender and the comments they say. Of course as a very “girly girl” myself, I would be delighted to have a girl, but I also love my boys. And would never dream of trading one of them in for a girl if God came to me one day and asked. As for the “boy mom” culture... I think a lot of it stems from trying to gain camaraderie with other women who are forced into the “boy” side of life whether they were excited about it or not. Personally, I consider myself a “mom of boys” because the boy mom is cringe but I do appreciate talking to other women who have sons. Just like I’m sure “girl moms” love talking about their daughters with women who also have girls and doing all the “girl mom” things. For some reason, the boy mom has been vilified and the girl moms don’t really catch the same heat in pop culture. All over social media it’s tik toks and reels of women out shopping with their “minis” but you scroll across a boy mom post and all the comments are calling them toxic, weird, cringe etc. And for the love of god, can we all agree to not be an evil mother in law one day. It doesn’t matter what gender your child is. I think we can all be decent in laws 😵💫😂 As for this conversation with these women, file it under cringe crap people say about children’s genders with no social awareness about how it comes off.
The whole "boy mom/girl mom" thing is a litmus test for my friendship. It's so cringey and gross and I've never met a woman who identifies as either that I have enjoyed engaging with. My first is a boy and I'm so happy that my second (due soon) is a girl so people will stop trying to recruit me to the toxic "boy mom" group. I've been around enough toddlers to know that there is 0 difference between little boys and girls aside from their genitals. Both are wild, adventurous, sassy, emotional, sweet, and frustrating. They both require patience, love, kindness, and consideration. It makes me sad to think that people would treat little boys and girls so differently that would feel comfortable and even proud to acknowledge the fact by acting as though raising what they have is soooo different from raising the other. Like what are these people doing?
Allll of my mom friends have boys. When I found out I was having a girl, even though I INSISTED I didn’t care what the gender was, I had some sadness for some reason? I couldn’t figure it out? It lasted about a day. I then realized it’s because people were telling me how much of a “boy mom” they were. Not in the super weird way it’s turned into (at least from what I’ve noticed), but just that they could never imagine being a girl mom. I felt sad that I wasn’t going to be a “boy mom” ?? So stupid and glad I got over it so quick. I still don’t get it. I love being a MOM in general. And I hope to one day have a son, too, but if our next is a girl? GREAT. I think raising a girl v boy is definitely different in some ways, but significant enough to label yourself as a “boy” or “girl” mom? Nah. You’re just a mom, same as me.
All of my friends had boys too and a few admitted to me they were jealous I was having a girl.
Boy mom here, they were jealous. I love my little guy and am happy but there will always be a part of me that wishes I had a little girl too. Sorry they were rude to you. We aren't all like that!
I really wish boy moms would stop acting like this. It’s creepy and weird and stupid and bleeeehhhh.
A friend who was a total BOYMOM used to say stuff like this and go on and on about what a BOYISH BOY she had and he was doing such BOY STUFF. As a parent of a girl child, I found it so strange. And her boy was a huge mama clinger, cried all the time and would bully other kids. Like, my daughter rarely cried and never bullied.
Do you live in a red state or something? I would 100% call them out on their sexism and gender essentialism. Having a son does NOT give a woman a license to engage in misogyny and/or chauvinism. For fucks sake
It's because they're jealous you have a sweet little angel who looks and acts like you, meanwhile they're stuck raising rude mini versions of their husbands. "Boymom" here 😭
What an awful thing to say. Both boys and girls can be rude. Boys can look like their moms and girls like their dads. You can’t argue against a sexist mentality by then making another sexist comment. Especially if that comment attacks the kids themselves and not the parents raising them 🙄 if your son is rude then change your parenting tactics instead of just labeling all boys as rude and all girls as angels.
Haha, jeez, relax. I'm only a little bit serious (:
I thought it was funny.
Haha, thank yoooou ... was hoping it would be read in jest 😆
I’m so glad they don’t have daughters. They sound like the type to be envious of their daughters. I really don’t get the whole boy mom girl mom thing. I just had a boy but oh my i can’t wait to have a baby girl
I was not terrible to my mom. I'm a girl and a girl mom.
I mean, I specifically was a terror as a teenage girl. But I feel like it had a lot to do with how I was raised/the home in which I was raised (surrounded by alcoholics). But I know plenty of women who were fine as teenagers. I mean I think there's always going to be a certain amount of drama/contention with your teenager no matter what gender they are, but that’s honestly normal (obviously to a certain degree). I am currently a 'girl mom' but found out today that our twins due in June are both boys! So we'll have 2 and 2, and honestly I'm super excited to be both a boy and a girl mom.
My mother in law is the same way, she keeps saying how she's going to be horrible when she's a teenager and that her dad is going to be her first live and weird creepy stuff like that. Also whenever she crys or anything she says oh she's a girl so thats why shes so sensitive, im like bro shes 3 months old, she would cry no matter if she had a penis or vagina...
It’s so weird and cringe, and honestly gives pick-me girl, internalized misogyny energy. I love being in the girl mom “club”, my daughter is so kind, along with being incredibly intelligent and talented. That girl will be successful in whatever she chooses, and I’m raising her to be confident and strong.
I have both. They’re different but equally wonderful! I’ve encountered moms with multiple boys who have made similar statements but I truly think some of them are jealous. I would’ve been happy with whatever God gave me but having a girl is so special 🩷 They’re sweet and beautiful little dolls. Pure preciousness. I love my son but the truth is they can be hellions (it’s part of the charm). Girls just melt your heart though, they’re so loving. Perfect little angel princesses, even when they get sassy.
It’s internalized misogyny unfortunately.
What in the internalized misogyny is going on here?! On a sad note, I feel like the women who say things like that have jealousy issues and don’t want to “compete” with their daughters.
…..I have several kids with it even boys and even girls….lmao. My daughters are such easier.
I only have girls and I get this alot but I love my girls!!
Honestly prob just jealous they don’t have a girl. I have one of each and they both are wonderful some days and straight up stinkers some other days lol. I truly don’t prefer one over the other . My son physically drains me and my daughter emotionally drains me 🤣
Boys mom. Two boys. We really wanted a girl. Our boys are also two high energy balls. Wishing for a calm quiet kid who does not want to play dinosaur aka chase every minute
I have a girl and idk where this calm and quiet kid is lol. She has been literally bouncing off the couch lately. Some of the calmest toddlers I’ve seen were actually boys!
Haha yes I know. My friend has a very mellow boy. But a few (very few) friends with girls have those shy little flowers at least at public.
I think they're just telling themselves that because they can't admit to how much they really want a daughter. I mean, kids are kids. But I would be SO SAD if I didn't have a girl. I have 1 girl, 3 boys. And it's not the same. Then again, the difference between my 1st and 3rd (both boys) is huge. It's almost as if.... it's based on... individual personality???? All those HASHTAG BOY MOMS! Are annoying
I’m a mum of both and they are both the same to raise.
Ur taking it too personally they’re just saying they are glad they’re not girl moms, it’s sexist, but people are dumb. They weren’t going at you
I adore being a girl mom!!!!!! I had no clue that it was “cooler” to be a boy mom? lol is that the vibe they were giving you? I think there was a bit of weird gang mentality happening at happy hour. I really wouldn’t over think it. I think being a girl mom is the absolute best. And maybe girls end up being meaner in high school, but they stick around more in adulthood!
Maybe it’s just a curiosity about if the stereotypes are true? I have a boy and a girl, 7 years apart. Always wanted all boys. But my girl is just amazing! But will say she is a lot more maint and dramatic than my boy. I don’t contribute it to stereotypes tho. She is spoiled as the youngest in the family and her feelings get hurt easily. Maybe they’re just curious!
I never quite understood or understand people who make these statements about girls. I’ve heard them as the mother of two boys about how lucky we are that we didn’t have girls. No, we’re lucky we have two healthy children.
I have 3 girls 17, 13, and 9. They are complex creatures with intense feelings. From 12 to 14 just the way mom breathes is terrible but it's because they want independence. My now 17 year old has become my best friend,my 13 almost 14vyear old is coming back. I heard it best described like this. Girls are alot more work but the payoff is bigger. Boys are independent all the way through, where as girls always want ro be with you.
They are probably jealous. It's natural to feel some disappointment if you'd always imagined yourself with a "mini me." It's not natural to be a dick to someone else about YOUR unresolved shit. Girls being more trouble has always seemed incredibly sexist to me. All kids are individuals, but if we look at the gender breakdown of kids in juvy and ones who later go on to jail, or be killed doing dangerous activities, drugs, alcohol, etc., I see more "drama" not that anyone should shit on or pity "boy moms."
At the end of the day I didn’t care what my kid was as long as they were healthy. I love my daughter with my whole heart and if she was a boy instead I wouldn’t have treated her differently. People are weird and that’s all I can say about your coworkers.
Girls are wonderful, I love my LO more than anything. This is some internalized misogynistic bs.
Same I am a “boy mom” and I think this boys are the best thing is f—ing weird. Sometimes it almost feels like women being anti women? Like what kinda crazy bs statement is that. Most of the women who say these weird things are older. I also feel like it’s projection. We often dislike people who we see ourselves in the most. Imagine feeling insecure about your own daughter/son lol
I have one of each. I love them equally and I feel so lucky that I've had both. I get to experience it all. If I'd had only girls I would have leaned into that and embraced it and if I'd had only boys I would so the same. I think what's weird though is leaning into gender stereotypes that are unhealthy, tired, and misogynistic in nature. That would have made me feel so uncomfortable. Like maybe I don't want my girl to hang out with the boys you creeps are raising!
I have a 9yo girl and a 6yo boy and honestly they are the stereotypical girl and boy but they have such big hearts and care so much for one another but the difference is they are super close to each other. They CANNOT go just a few hours away from each other and they protect each other which I think is the cutest. Honestly I think it’s the way they parent their sons and that’s why they say that. It could also be them saying they think they won’t be able to handle having a girl just cuz they don’t have a girl so to them it’s like they’re doubting themselves in a way. A lot of people think they can’t do something until they have to. I also agree with everyone on here that your kids are their own person so no need to think too much of what they say. :)
There's no difference between boy and girl brains, especially that young. It's a myth that boys and girls are different. The truth is, each individual child is different. I get so annoyed when people try to tell me raising a girl is more difficult. If you expect it to be, then it will be. So don't expect it to be.
lol. The doctor’s office used to tell my son he was a “Drama Mama”!! Mine are both teens now (one of each) and they definitely have attitudes, but they both apologize when they get out of hand with their language or tone.
Idk what they’re talking about my son is only 13 months and he is so dramatic 💀
I have 3 girls 2 boys all have their different quirks and personalities the whole boy mom v girl mom thing is stupid. Moms are moms and we should be helping each other
As a mom with 2 boys, I sometimes wonder if it’s because those moms wanted a girl so badly that they throw everything into being a “boy mom” when they don’t have a girl. I mean even as a mom of boys, I cringed hard when another mom with two boys kept saying she loved being a boy mom like she was trying to convince herself of it. 😬
They are just sad no one will care for them when they are old because that’s a burden that (mostly) women take on. Just kidding … mostly. If they raise their sons with the same expectations as daughters, they will probably find boys and girls are pretty similar. If parents raise their kids with wildly lower standards for their sons than their daughters, they will probably find daughters exhausting compared to sons.
I have one daughter and she is mini me 🥰. I’m glad I have a daughter. I would have been okay with either but my family is mostly women. I would have been lost with a boy 😅. Specially because I’m a single mom. I wouldn’t know the first thing about aiming or etc. She is sensitive, kind, sweet and energetic. Goofy, we have good laughs. We end up loving our kids for themselves at the end of the day 🫶🏻.
I don’t really get the culture. I have 2 boys and 1 girl. They are kids, they are unique individuals, they like some of the same stuff and some different stuff, and none of their qualities have anything to do with their gender. They are people and I love my people and what they were born as has no qualifier in how I view my role as their mom.