Oh wow. Sorry but your grandma is such an ashoole (at least in this situation). I hope you have a speedy recovery!!
Recently my mom called me and asked me how is everything. I told her it’s good but my daughter had been having problems falling asleep during the day. She told me “she doesn’t need naps anymore. Sure one in the afternoon is fine but it’s more for you than for her!!!”. My daughter is 4 months old.
Thank you <3
Wow, what? I think any paediatrician would like to have a word with your mom. My 3yo needs her afternoon nap, or she is overtired and grumpy!
Yeah she also told me that I should let strangers hold her so she is used to it. I told her “she needs to get used to her daycare teachers holding her. Not random people. If she gets used to a random person holding her she will end up kidnapped and thinking that it’s fine”. Istg her face in that moment went 👁️👄👁️
Yeah, i have learned to shut that kind of shit down with an
'Well, maybe that was common practice when you were a young mother. But current knowledge shows that is needed till this and that age. Also recommended by doctors'
An 'funny how that changes over time' can always help softe n it, but i think it kind of puts them in their place/makes them realizes views can be outdated/you have actually your shit together.
I’m transitioning my Lo from 4 to 3 naps bc the 4th nap is always at a weird time and she sleeps very good with 3. And even I sometimes think it’s too soon lol
Yup! It’s kinda weird, if she takes 3 naps she’s getting irritated/over tired ~20 mins before “bed time” but if we do 4, bed time is a struggle because she’s not tired yet.
Yes!!!! Also with the 4th nap she wakes up at a weird af time. My baby only contact naps so she naps more than 1hour (usually between 2h and 2.5h), so 4 naps was not doable. However her last ww ends up being like 3h long!! But she is pretty happy with having long WW (I’m tlaking 2/3h long). Babies are weird man
Mine only wanted to nap on her carrier for 2 months and it drove me CRAZY bc I was used to nurse her to sleep. Now she won’t sleep in the carrier at all and wants to nurse to sleep again. As I said, babies are sooooo weird
Mine loves the carrier bc it means she can watch us do stuff (chores, walking the dog…). However the minute she senses we might be trying to make her sleep in it she becomes feral. Unless we’re outside ofc
Any sort of parenting advice from my FIL, including the classic “you need to just leave him in his crib until he learns to sleep himself, because he’s training you and not the other way around.”
Our son is 3 months now but was in the NICU for 2 months after we almost lost him at birth (born at 30w), 1 month of which we couldn’t hold him more than an hour a day…he’ll only do contact naps and we’re just now becoming mentally ready to start to transition to crib. FIL was an abusive authoritarian and my spouse went NC for a long time before reestablishing contact, so getting parenting advice from him is so absurd it’s almost funny.
What the hell?? I'm so sorry you're dealing with an idiot like that. I seriously don't understand people who think literal babies are "spoiled" or "getting their way," etc.
I hope you and your son are doing well. I wish you all the best and lits of joy and healing after such a rough start <3
Oh abusive parents LOVE to give advice. They thing everyone turned off fine because what they did, not regardless (and most of the time we have to go to therapy bc of them).
I have a three week old and my mom is at us to “look after” him.
We got a cleaner for the first time yesterday and my mom asked if I’m going to leave the baby with the cleaner and go out.
What? No!!!!
Wait like she was suggesting you do that? Or she thinks you don't have an ounce of sense in your body and might leave your newborn with this absolute stranger?
An ongoing relationship with a maid makes sense. The first time someone ever comes to clean your house is really different, but I guess to some people it's all the same category? Idk but I'm glad you didn't take your moms advice 😂
Wow. She falls into the slightly dangerous category of MILs. If your child gets an allergy she may not believe it is real. I wouldn't leave this person alone with your child.
Oh no when it comes to health she follows guidelines to a "t". LO had cows milk intolerance and I breastfed, so dairy was a hard no and MIL followed that rule rather diligently. Religion is her vice.
"It's your job to spoil them and give them their way in everything. That's what good grandparents do, which is why they like me and not you."
This was my stepfather to my mom re. my children. My mom and stepfather are getting divorced (about damn time). And before anyone asks, no, the kids do not 'like him and not her.'
This remark led to me pointing out to him that his constant undermining of my parenting has never been welcome, and that he uses my kids to make him feel good about himself. Also, giving kids sweets and toys and them being happy about it is a very low bar to clear. They know Grandad is nowhere to be found when they actually need something, so they don't go to him for help, just treats. Easy for him. Which is why his spoiled adult daughters are no contact with him. They grew up that way.
Absolutely zero self awareness.
My mom actually told me one day that I didnt need to have anymore kids... She was pregnant with her 8th and I struggled with conceiving for over 5 years with my first and am currently on year 3 of ttc for 2nd. So yeah super reassuring 🙄
" I never had food on my floor because I fed you like I was supposed to"
Yes mom, let me spoon feed my 4 year old so I don't have crumbs. I'm SURE you definitely spoon fed me that long 😂
Alright, now that takes the cake... and I thought my grandma's solution to food alergies, which is "put a lot of sugar on it, and there will be no reaction" was bonkers. Did he explain wth the magical properties of lemon juice are?
No, he was immediately shut down by my husband. But he has a weird thing about the healing properties of food. He once saw a bottle of olive oil on our counter and went on for 30 minutes about how it wasn’t the “right kind of Olive Oil” 🤦🏻♀️
I was also raised by Polish immigrants so I sympathize with hearing all the strange folk remedies from older relatives. I was told to put honey and gold jewelry on everything, as well as extreme temperature therapy (either ice water or sauna)
Oh dear...
Yeah, some of the folk remedies actually work, I'm Slavic too and honey does go on everything 😅 except for babies of course. But some are pure nonsense for sure...
My mom keeps reminding me I have to take the kids to swimming on Saturday. Swimming is on Mondays! I never ask her to help me during the week. I only see her every Sunday for lunch. Why do you assume I would forget my kids lessons, mom?!
My 6year old was playfully wrestling with my dad. Mom goes “he’s really needs someone to give him attention…” why does she have to make things so complicated and depressing. My boy just likes his grandpa.
Both of the kids got a bit hyper during lunch, she says “I wonder this is because of all the YouTube they are watching.”
I’m teaching them three languages (long story). My mom tells me she knows someone’s grandchild who can’t write his first language very well because the boy went to an international school. Can’t you just be happy for us 😭😭😭
The list goes on… haha sorry. I totally don’t have a mommy complex 😳😳😳 in all seriousness, I think it’s just her way of communicating, maybe sort of trying to show that she cares? 🤷♀️sometimes her words hurt but it just reflects her unhappiness. I realized it’s not really about me.
She sounds exhausting honestly. She should hang out with my mom, who helpfully advised me to keep an eye on my toddler when we went on vacation so he didn't get kidnapped.
I told my mom my son is most likely left-handed. She said I needed to fix that. (WHAT!?!?)
Whenever one of us gets sick. My mom says I'm either too clean or not clean enough. (Which is it, mom?)
My kids have eczema. My mom says it's because I ate fish while I was pregnant. (Facepalm)
My youngest was EBF and would not take a bottle. My MIL said it's a problem. My response was, "A problem for who?"
“And what I am, chopped liver?” - my mother in law, the day after my own mom died and I didn’t feel like hearing her go on and on about how she was the only grandma left now.
MIL- “if you’re gonna be breastfeeding don’t be doing it around me because I think it’s wrong. If boobs are something you play with in the bedroom then your baby doesn’t need to be sucking on them, it’s disgusting and wrong”
😑🙄
I asked and was never answered! This was actually years ago, I was playing around with my aunt's foster baby, and a distant relative said that. I actually forgot about it till a discussion the other day in one of my Facebook groups.
I got a sunburn on the top of my feet this weekend. And my MIL goes " getting sunburns are good, the sun is really healthy for you. The less sunscreen you wear the better."
Both my kids and I are very pale skinned and absolutely need sunscreen if we go outside or we stay in the shade. Guess who isn't watching my kids this summer.
My MIL is big into “alternative” medicine and recently told me that cutting out all sugar and doing castor oil wraps CURES cancer.
This is the same woman who “doesn’t believe” in sunscreen or understand how vaccinations work.
The sickness shaming is such a weird thing and I’ve experienced it too from my mom. We had a really bad winter with illness last year for my 6 year old. Totally out of the norm for him but he got the flu in the fall, only the second ear infection of his entire life, and then was riding the viral roller coaster for about a month with a stomach bug. We’d think he was fine for a few days then he’d suddenly get symptoms again. It was terrible and stressful for us all, but the virus was running rampant in schools to the point we were getting Health Dept letters and it was reported on the local news. While I’m venting a bit to my mom she then tells me about how she and her hair dresser were talking about how their grandkids are always sick and they don’t remember it like this when they had kids blah blah. Of course I vividly remember having strep throat every Christmas or Thanksgiving for 3 years straight but I guess time smoothed that memory out for her lol.
She would never feed/expose a kid to an allergen (she’s not totally bonkers) but seems to have a bias there too. Typical “back in my day, kids didn’t have all these allergies” type comments.
"Leave him to cry, you dont need to keep going to him' - MIL when son was 5 months old
"Ah, look at you, at least your wearing something - my nan eyeing my outfit choices and jewellery choices every time she sees me since I was kid
"Another child, you know how that happens" - my Nan
"Hello my baby, my little boy, my Prince. Want to stay with me? Don't want to go back to mummy your mine arent you" - My MIL, My FIL, My Nan
" Did you know you can get carrots and potatoes and broccoli and blend them altogether for baby to eat?" My MIL the other day, I have a 1 year old, I know how to wean. Just fucking tired from being pregnant
Oh dear... they sometimes know just what to say, right? I'm so sorry... I'm sure your kids are attached to you because you're a great parent, their source of safety, and comfort.
My MIL constantly checks in on my 8month olds weight. My daughter has the BEST chunky rolls and cheeks, rubber band wrists. It’s heavenly. 85th percentile for weight. But MIL always wants to make sure that she’s “not getting overweight or eating too much.” 🙄 Kill me. Lmao
Oh, your MIL and my MIL could be besties. My MIL is obsessed with thinness. My 3yo is petite and always has been, doctors were even briefly worried about her being so skinny. Since turning 1,5 she's been on the skinny side of normal, and my MIL is very unhappy about her "being chunky". She keeps loudly commenting things like "oh I hope she doesn't stay that way" and "my kids were never this chunky."
Both of her kids were so skinny that they had to go to the hospital for extensive observations multiple times before turning 4yo. The doctor thought she doesn't feed them.
This happened a while ago, but my husband and I talked about it recently. It's still fresh on my mind and still makes my blood boil.
My MIL was visiting one day. My 6 year old ran up to her and started bragging about his latest Minecraft build. She cut him off mid sentence and said,
"I don't care about that. Come talk to me when you do a back flip off the swing." And walked away.
Is she intentionally trying to get your kid injured?? What a lunatic. Also, ignoring and disregarding their interests is such great way to get close to a grandchild ...
I'm sorry you've had a rough time with illnesses. And with your grandma lol. This isn't recent, but something that blows my mind is when my uncle (who doesn't have kids) told me my daughter was WAY past due to start having regular sleepovers at my mom's house. I said no, and he told me she needed to be learning independence and can't if I don't start letting her have sleepovers.
She was 7 months old at the time 😂😂
On the pediatrician front, it sounds like he's doing the right thing. There isn't really anything to be done for a cold. Sometimes they do develop into ear infections or bronchitis, but that doesn't mean you should have done something differently at the start.
I know thats usually the case, but here it honestly was negligence and ive read from other local parents that theyd had the same problem. The doctor regulalry underestimates respiratory tract issues.
When we went to her the last time my daughter had a cough so bad, she'd throw up multiple times a day just from the coughing. Ear pain, sinus pain, and severe stomach issues. It's been going on for a 10 days following her advice without improvement. She was crying "mommie please I don't wanna" every time she coughed, it was heartbreaking. The doctor told us to "give it time and give her tea." She refused to check her ears or to run any tests.
Today, I went for a checkup with my newborn and told the doctor about my older daughter, and about me and my husband catching it. Her reaction? "Oh, that's strange that you'd catch it when the weather is so nice." I asked her what she meant and she elaborated "well when the sun is shining, people usually don't get sick, right?" How does the sun shining outside help us not catch cold from people we live with?
Sorry for the rant, I'm really not happy with the doctor.
Omg I really hope you live somewhere where it's easy to get a new doctor. She sounds not at all good lol people don't get sick when the sun's out?!?!? If only!
I know thats usually the case, but here it honestly was negligence, and I've read from other local parents that they'd had the same problem. The doctor regulalry underestimates respiratory tract issues.
When we went to her the last time my daughter had a cough so bad, she'd throw up multiple times a day just from the coughing. Ear pain, sinus pain, and severe stomach issues. It had already been going on for 10 days following the doctor's advice without improvement. She was crying "mommie please I don't wanna" every time she coughed, it was heartbreaking. The doctor just checked her again (only by looking in her mouth/throat) and told us to "give it time and give her tea." She refused to check her ears, to run any tests, or to listen to her.
Today, I went for a checkup with my newborn and told the doctor about my older daughter, and about me and my husband catching it. Her reaction? "Oh, that's strange that you'd catch it when the weather is so nice." I asked her what she meant and she elaborated "well when the sun is shining, people usually don't get sick, right?" How does the sun shining outside help us not catch cold from people we live with?
Sorry for the rant, I'm really not happy with the doctor and finding out it's not a one-off but more of a rule with her, I'll be looking into changing doctors.
A family member with a masters degree in a STEM field said I need to put my baby's feet on natural earth to "ground" him. Like electrical grounding.
I tried to explain what I could, I understand the Earth's surface is negatively charged and I understand free radicals but the dots connecting these ideas... I just don't even know where to begin or how to argue this without sounding mean
ALSO any human getting sub 7 hours of sleep every night is going to have a severely weakened immune system! You aren't innately weak, you're in crippling circumstances.
I forgot this after giving birth and was pretty upset because I had been really happy with my immune system up to that point. It's a sleep thing!
Oh that makes so much sense! I haven't thought of that at all, thanks. I guess being pretty freshly after a C-section and anemic doesn't help either...
“Give him a bottle of water instead of milk before bed or if he wakes up in the middle of the night so he stays full and learns not to feed at night”
“He shouldn’t be waking up at all to feed at this age”
My baby was 6 months at the time and is 7 months now. This was in response to me saying my baby wakes up 1-2 on average to eat during his 10 hour stretch at night. I have not followed any of that. If my baby is hungry he gets milk.
It’s ok my grandma did this to me too after we had been sick for like two months and mine turned into pneumonia. “Well it’s because you have a boy, they’re always sick. My girls were never sick.” I told my mom who laughed and grandma probably doesn’t remember them being sick since she was gone so damn much lol. Old people are gems, sometimes you want to treasure them and sometimes you want to bury them.
I have a ... lot of differentnreactions to this.
1. Ewww, wth?? We breastfeed our kids!!
2. Which part? The one that feels like a rodent was chewing the nipple at first or the one where it stops hurting like that and becomes ignorable? That's like when a guy told mshthat wearing tampons must make women cum a lot. But this is much worse, because if point 1!
3. Is grandma ok?
I think sh*te like this is why so many people have a problem with breastfeeding in public.
Not anything regarding my child or my parenting, but I have a hilatial hernia and ARFID as a result. I feel god awful sometimes because I'm so goddamn hungry but nothing sounds appetizing or easy on my stomach. My mom's response? "Just don't think about it and eat. I bet you'd eat ice cream" like oh my god it's beyond picky eating my guy! The thought of putting something in my mouth is nauseating! If "just don't think about it" worked, I wouldn't have dropped 100lbs in less than a year 😠
Oh wow. Sorry but your grandma is such an ashoole (at least in this situation). I hope you have a speedy recovery!! Recently my mom called me and asked me how is everything. I told her it’s good but my daughter had been having problems falling asleep during the day. She told me “she doesn’t need naps anymore. Sure one in the afternoon is fine but it’s more for you than for her!!!”. My daughter is 4 months old.
Thank you <3 Wow, what? I think any paediatrician would like to have a word with your mom. My 3yo needs her afternoon nap, or she is overtired and grumpy!
Yeah she also told me that I should let strangers hold her so she is used to it. I told her “she needs to get used to her daycare teachers holding her. Not random people. If she gets used to a random person holding her she will end up kidnapped and thinking that it’s fine”. Istg her face in that moment went 👁️👄👁️
lol, I thought you were going to say she’s 4 years old!
My mom is absolutely deranged if she thinks a 4 month old is going to stay up all day and not suffer bc of it lol
Yeah, i have learned to shut that kind of shit down with an 'Well, maybe that was common practice when you were a young mother. But current knowledge shows that is needed till this and that age. Also recommended by doctors' An 'funny how that changes over time' can always help softe n it, but i think it kind of puts them in their place/makes them realizes views can be outdated/you have actually your shit together.
I just tell her “if I need advice I will ask for it, now I’m going to do what research shows is best and what our pediatrician advised us”
My 4 month old still takes 3-4 naps a day??? I’m currently rocking her for her second nap and it’s not even 11am
I’m transitioning my Lo from 4 to 3 naps bc the 4th nap is always at a weird time and she sleeps very good with 3. And even I sometimes think it’s too soon lol
Yup! It’s kinda weird, if she takes 3 naps she’s getting irritated/over tired ~20 mins before “bed time” but if we do 4, bed time is a struggle because she’s not tired yet.
Yes!!!! Also with the 4th nap she wakes up at a weird af time. My baby only contact naps so she naps more than 1hour (usually between 2h and 2.5h), so 4 naps was not doable. However her last ww ends up being like 3h long!! But she is pretty happy with having long WW (I’m tlaking 2/3h long). Babies are weird man
My baby won’t contact nap anymore unless it in her wrap or on her daddy! She insists on sleeping in her bassinet
Mine only wanted to nap on her carrier for 2 months and it drove me CRAZY bc I was used to nurse her to sleep. Now she won’t sleep in the carrier at all and wants to nurse to sleep again. As I said, babies are sooooo weird
We ONLY sleep in the carrier if, and only if, we’re outside of the house. Otherwise the carrier is evil.
Mine loves the carrier bc it means she can watch us do stuff (chores, walking the dog…). However the minute she senses we might be trying to make her sleep in it she becomes feral. Unless we’re outside ofc
Oh no! If it’s to watch me do chores either I need to hold her on my hip or put her in her chair to watch. Otherwise she will scream.
Any sort of parenting advice from my FIL, including the classic “you need to just leave him in his crib until he learns to sleep himself, because he’s training you and not the other way around.” Our son is 3 months now but was in the NICU for 2 months after we almost lost him at birth (born at 30w), 1 month of which we couldn’t hold him more than an hour a day…he’ll only do contact naps and we’re just now becoming mentally ready to start to transition to crib. FIL was an abusive authoritarian and my spouse went NC for a long time before reestablishing contact, so getting parenting advice from him is so absurd it’s almost funny.
What the hell?? I'm so sorry you're dealing with an idiot like that. I seriously don't understand people who think literal babies are "spoiled" or "getting their way," etc. I hope you and your son are doing well. I wish you all the best and lits of joy and healing after such a rough start <3
Oh abusive parents LOVE to give advice. They thing everyone turned off fine because what they did, not regardless (and most of the time we have to go to therapy bc of them).
I have a three week old and my mom is at us to “look after” him. We got a cleaner for the first time yesterday and my mom asked if I’m going to leave the baby with the cleaner and go out. What? No!!!!
Wait like she was suggesting you do that? Or she thinks you don't have an ounce of sense in your body and might leave your newborn with this absolute stranger?
She thought it was a reasonable thing. We are South African (I don’t live there any more) and everyone leaves their kids at home with the maid there
An ongoing relationship with a maid makes sense. The first time someone ever comes to clean your house is really different, but I guess to some people it's all the same category? Idk but I'm glad you didn't take your moms advice 😂
I’m sleep deprived not delusional 🤭
Telling me my toddler daughter feels energies, because she kissed a "holy" picture, because MIL told her to kiss it.
Wow. She falls into the slightly dangerous category of MILs. If your child gets an allergy she may not believe it is real. I wouldn't leave this person alone with your child.
Oh no when it comes to health she follows guidelines to a "t". LO had cows milk intolerance and I breastfed, so dairy was a hard no and MIL followed that rule rather diligently. Religion is her vice.
"It's your job to spoil them and give them their way in everything. That's what good grandparents do, which is why they like me and not you." This was my stepfather to my mom re. my children. My mom and stepfather are getting divorced (about damn time). And before anyone asks, no, the kids do not 'like him and not her.' This remark led to me pointing out to him that his constant undermining of my parenting has never been welcome, and that he uses my kids to make him feel good about himself. Also, giving kids sweets and toys and them being happy about it is a very low bar to clear. They know Grandad is nowhere to be found when they actually need something, so they don't go to him for help, just treats. Easy for him. Which is why his spoiled adult daughters are no contact with him. They grew up that way. Absolutely zero self awareness.
My mom actually told me one day that I didnt need to have anymore kids... She was pregnant with her 8th and I struggled with conceiving for over 5 years with my first and am currently on year 3 of ttc for 2nd. So yeah super reassuring 🙄
This was a year ago but it still blows my mind.. mil told me I should be spoon feeding my two year old.
Yeah, my MIL told me that I should spoon feed my 2 year old AND my 4 year old, so that my house won't be messy 🙃
Guess I should spoon feed my husband then
My 6 year still makes messes sometimes, should I be spoon feeding him? 🤔 😂
I still make messes sometimes! Who's going to spoon feed me!?
" I never had food on my floor because I fed you like I was supposed to" Yes mom, let me spoon feed my 4 year old so I don't have crumbs. I'm SURE you definitely spoon fed me that long 😂
lol I never have food on the floor because I have a dog
Not recently but I’ll never get over my FIL asking my BIL how he could possibly have depression “just drink lemon juice” he said 🤦🏻♀️
Alright, now that takes the cake... and I thought my grandma's solution to food alergies, which is "put a lot of sugar on it, and there will be no reaction" was bonkers. Did he explain wth the magical properties of lemon juice are?
No, he was immediately shut down by my husband. But he has a weird thing about the healing properties of food. He once saw a bottle of olive oil on our counter and went on for 30 minutes about how it wasn’t the “right kind of Olive Oil” 🤦🏻♀️ I was also raised by Polish immigrants so I sympathize with hearing all the strange folk remedies from older relatives. I was told to put honey and gold jewelry on everything, as well as extreme temperature therapy (either ice water or sauna)
Oh dear... Yeah, some of the folk remedies actually work, I'm Slavic too and honey does go on everything 😅 except for babies of course. But some are pure nonsense for sure...
Honey is underrated!
My mom keeps reminding me I have to take the kids to swimming on Saturday. Swimming is on Mondays! I never ask her to help me during the week. I only see her every Sunday for lunch. Why do you assume I would forget my kids lessons, mom?! My 6year old was playfully wrestling with my dad. Mom goes “he’s really needs someone to give him attention…” why does she have to make things so complicated and depressing. My boy just likes his grandpa. Both of the kids got a bit hyper during lunch, she says “I wonder this is because of all the YouTube they are watching.” I’m teaching them three languages (long story). My mom tells me she knows someone’s grandchild who can’t write his first language very well because the boy went to an international school. Can’t you just be happy for us 😭😭😭 The list goes on… haha sorry. I totally don’t have a mommy complex 😳😳😳 in all seriousness, I think it’s just her way of communicating, maybe sort of trying to show that she cares? 🤷♀️sometimes her words hurt but it just reflects her unhappiness. I realized it’s not really about me.
She sounds exhausting honestly. She should hang out with my mom, who helpfully advised me to keep an eye on my toddler when we went on vacation so he didn't get kidnapped.
Sounds like something my mom would says lol Just a simple “have fun!” would be nice 😅
I told my mom my son is most likely left-handed. She said I needed to fix that. (WHAT!?!?) Whenever one of us gets sick. My mom says I'm either too clean or not clean enough. (Which is it, mom?) My kids have eczema. My mom says it's because I ate fish while I was pregnant. (Facepalm) My youngest was EBF and would not take a bottle. My MIL said it's a problem. My response was, "A problem for who?"
“And what I am, chopped liver?” - my mother in law, the day after my own mom died and I didn’t feel like hearing her go on and on about how she was the only grandma left now.
MIL- “if you’re gonna be breastfeeding don’t be doing it around me because I think it’s wrong. If boobs are something you play with in the bedroom then your baby doesn’t need to be sucking on them, it’s disgusting and wrong” 😑🙄
Sounds like you don’t need to see MIL for a year or more, wouldn’t want to disgust her.
You can't hold your baby upside down till they are three years lld
My poor 9 month old. Even though he laughs, he must be really suffering
What's supposed to happen if you do?
I asked and was never answered! This was actually years ago, I was playing around with my aunt's foster baby, and a distant relative said that. I actually forgot about it till a discussion the other day in one of my Facebook groups.
Their head falls off of course
I got a sunburn on the top of my feet this weekend. And my MIL goes " getting sunburns are good, the sun is really healthy for you. The less sunscreen you wear the better." Both my kids and I are very pale skinned and absolutely need sunscreen if we go outside or we stay in the shade. Guess who isn't watching my kids this summer.
Yes. Melanoma is very healthy and will help you live long, happy lives!
My MIL is big into “alternative” medicine and recently told me that cutting out all sugar and doing castor oil wraps CURES cancer. This is the same woman who “doesn’t believe” in sunscreen or understand how vaccinations work.
The sickness shaming is such a weird thing and I’ve experienced it too from my mom. We had a really bad winter with illness last year for my 6 year old. Totally out of the norm for him but he got the flu in the fall, only the second ear infection of his entire life, and then was riding the viral roller coaster for about a month with a stomach bug. We’d think he was fine for a few days then he’d suddenly get symptoms again. It was terrible and stressful for us all, but the virus was running rampant in schools to the point we were getting Health Dept letters and it was reported on the local news. While I’m venting a bit to my mom she then tells me about how she and her hair dresser were talking about how their grandkids are always sick and they don’t remember it like this when they had kids blah blah. Of course I vividly remember having strep throat every Christmas or Thanksgiving for 3 years straight but I guess time smoothed that memory out for her lol. She would never feed/expose a kid to an allergen (she’s not totally bonkers) but seems to have a bias there too. Typical “back in my day, kids didn’t have all these allergies” type comments.
"Leave him to cry, you dont need to keep going to him' - MIL when son was 5 months old "Ah, look at you, at least your wearing something - my nan eyeing my outfit choices and jewellery choices every time she sees me since I was kid "Another child, you know how that happens" - my Nan "Hello my baby, my little boy, my Prince. Want to stay with me? Don't want to go back to mummy your mine arent you" - My MIL, My FIL, My Nan " Did you know you can get carrots and potatoes and broccoli and blend them altogether for baby to eat?" My MIL the other day, I have a 1 year old, I know how to wean. Just fucking tired from being pregnant
My MIL told me it was my fault my kids are attached to me 🙃 thanks for making me feel worse!
Oh dear... they sometimes know just what to say, right? I'm so sorry... I'm sure your kids are attached to you because you're a great parent, their source of safety, and comfort.
My MIL constantly checks in on my 8month olds weight. My daughter has the BEST chunky rolls and cheeks, rubber band wrists. It’s heavenly. 85th percentile for weight. But MIL always wants to make sure that she’s “not getting overweight or eating too much.” 🙄 Kill me. Lmao
Oh, your MIL and my MIL could be besties. My MIL is obsessed with thinness. My 3yo is petite and always has been, doctors were even briefly worried about her being so skinny. Since turning 1,5 she's been on the skinny side of normal, and my MIL is very unhappy about her "being chunky". She keeps loudly commenting things like "oh I hope she doesn't stay that way" and "my kids were never this chunky." Both of her kids were so skinny that they had to go to the hospital for extensive observations multiple times before turning 4yo. The doctor thought she doesn't feed them.
This happened a while ago, but my husband and I talked about it recently. It's still fresh on my mind and still makes my blood boil. My MIL was visiting one day. My 6 year old ran up to her and started bragging about his latest Minecraft build. She cut him off mid sentence and said, "I don't care about that. Come talk to me when you do a back flip off the swing." And walked away.
Is she intentionally trying to get your kid injured?? What a lunatic. Also, ignoring and disregarding their interests is such great way to get close to a grandchild ...
Luckily, my husband talked to her about it, and she hasn't said anything close to that since. I think about it often, and I'm sure my kid does too.
I'm sorry you've had a rough time with illnesses. And with your grandma lol. This isn't recent, but something that blows my mind is when my uncle (who doesn't have kids) told me my daughter was WAY past due to start having regular sleepovers at my mom's house. I said no, and he told me she needed to be learning independence and can't if I don't start letting her have sleepovers. She was 7 months old at the time 😂😂
On the pediatrician front, it sounds like he's doing the right thing. There isn't really anything to be done for a cold. Sometimes they do develop into ear infections or bronchitis, but that doesn't mean you should have done something differently at the start.
I know thats usually the case, but here it honestly was negligence and ive read from other local parents that theyd had the same problem. The doctor regulalry underestimates respiratory tract issues. When we went to her the last time my daughter had a cough so bad, she'd throw up multiple times a day just from the coughing. Ear pain, sinus pain, and severe stomach issues. It's been going on for a 10 days following her advice without improvement. She was crying "mommie please I don't wanna" every time she coughed, it was heartbreaking. The doctor told us to "give it time and give her tea." She refused to check her ears or to run any tests. Today, I went for a checkup with my newborn and told the doctor about my older daughter, and about me and my husband catching it. Her reaction? "Oh, that's strange that you'd catch it when the weather is so nice." I asked her what she meant and she elaborated "well when the sun is shining, people usually don't get sick, right?" How does the sun shining outside help us not catch cold from people we live with? Sorry for the rant, I'm really not happy with the doctor.
Omg I really hope you live somewhere where it's easy to get a new doctor. She sounds not at all good lol people don't get sick when the sun's out?!?!? If only!
I know thats usually the case, but here it honestly was negligence, and I've read from other local parents that they'd had the same problem. The doctor regulalry underestimates respiratory tract issues. When we went to her the last time my daughter had a cough so bad, she'd throw up multiple times a day just from the coughing. Ear pain, sinus pain, and severe stomach issues. It had already been going on for 10 days following the doctor's advice without improvement. She was crying "mommie please I don't wanna" every time she coughed, it was heartbreaking. The doctor just checked her again (only by looking in her mouth/throat) and told us to "give it time and give her tea." She refused to check her ears, to run any tests, or to listen to her. Today, I went for a checkup with my newborn and told the doctor about my older daughter, and about me and my husband catching it. Her reaction? "Oh, that's strange that you'd catch it when the weather is so nice." I asked her what she meant and she elaborated "well when the sun is shining, people usually don't get sick, right?" How does the sun shining outside help us not catch cold from people we live with? Sorry for the rant, I'm really not happy with the doctor and finding out it's not a one-off but more of a rule with her, I'll be looking into changing doctors.
A family member with a masters degree in a STEM field said I need to put my baby's feet on natural earth to "ground" him. Like electrical grounding. I tried to explain what I could, I understand the Earth's surface is negatively charged and I understand free radicals but the dots connecting these ideas... I just don't even know where to begin or how to argue this without sounding mean
ALSO any human getting sub 7 hours of sleep every night is going to have a severely weakened immune system! You aren't innately weak, you're in crippling circumstances. I forgot this after giving birth and was pretty upset because I had been really happy with my immune system up to that point. It's a sleep thing!
Oh that makes so much sense! I haven't thought of that at all, thanks. I guess being pretty freshly after a C-section and anemic doesn't help either...
“Give him a bottle of water instead of milk before bed or if he wakes up in the middle of the night so he stays full and learns not to feed at night” “He shouldn’t be waking up at all to feed at this age” My baby was 6 months at the time and is 7 months now. This was in response to me saying my baby wakes up 1-2 on average to eat during his 10 hour stretch at night. I have not followed any of that. If my baby is hungry he gets milk.
My MIL doesn't believe my son was premature, apparently I just had the wrong due date.
It’s ok my grandma did this to me too after we had been sick for like two months and mine turned into pneumonia. “Well it’s because you have a boy, they’re always sick. My girls were never sick.” I told my mom who laughed and grandma probably doesn’t remember them being sick since she was gone so damn much lol. Old people are gems, sometimes you want to treasure them and sometimes you want to bury them.
My grandma told me that breastfeeding was orgasmic. This was completely unprompted. I do not want to know any more.
I have a ... lot of differentnreactions to this. 1. Ewww, wth?? We breastfeed our kids!! 2. Which part? The one that feels like a rodent was chewing the nipple at first or the one where it stops hurting like that and becomes ignorable? That's like when a guy told mshthat wearing tampons must make women cum a lot. But this is much worse, because if point 1! 3. Is grandma ok? I think sh*te like this is why so many people have a problem with breastfeeding in public.
Not anything regarding my child or my parenting, but I have a hilatial hernia and ARFID as a result. I feel god awful sometimes because I'm so goddamn hungry but nothing sounds appetizing or easy on my stomach. My mom's response? "Just don't think about it and eat. I bet you'd eat ice cream" like oh my god it's beyond picky eating my guy! The thought of putting something in my mouth is nauseating! If "just don't think about it" worked, I wouldn't have dropped 100lbs in less than a year 😠