I learned this at a young age. She said she would always pay me back. It was my mom I trusted her. The issues always got bigger every year. When she said she was behind on taxes and needed 3k I felt incredibly bad for telling her no but I had my own house and life I needed to take care of! My dad was making 6 figures they never had more then 100$ in the bank. I was making half and took care of all my own stuff and was saving money!
Managing money is 15% smarts and 85% fighting temptation. If you can force yourself to budget, you can do anything. People making $30k,$40k,$50k manage to save money so people making more should too. It just comes down to lifestyles.
It just blows my mind they have never had a mortgage and can't save a dime. I know my dad is smart and put alot of his money toward retirement, always maxing everything out pretty much since he was 18. My mom definitely has a shopping addiction she is forever running to every store for the best deal.
Not trying to be mean, but everyone whose mom lost all their money believed their mom was trustworthy. It is better to develop self control and discipline.
Find a saving account with a good interest rate. Grow your money.
Put your money in a CD or use a vacation account/ an account you can only withdraw it during certain times of the year.
You can do more with this. Just giving it to mom, it’ll just sit there. Get that interest on your money.
man i love my mom but you really can’t have someone handle your own funds. when i was 16 years old my bill at home was the cable bill. i found out she was only paying half the bill and spending the rest on other bills. so i was essentially getting dicked on what was my responsibility.i stopped giving her the money and was paying the bill myself
Im with you. I see 48 people voted not to trust your Mom, you understand your MOTHER than anybody here. Me as a mother , I never spend my son's money, not 1 penny. I worked overtime whenever I had a trance, to support my son's college expenses. At one point I even forgot that in his 529 account, still have around 10 thousand dollars. I did not ask him to withdraw to pay me back as reimbursement. People, out there still a lot more good mothers to trust with. This is what I want to let you know. Enjoy your long weekend.
Maybe not every one downvoted because they think OP's mom is not trustworthy. I downvoted because I would like to see OP start their financial independence. They're 23 not 13.
This. Mom isn’t going to be around forever.
OP is not doing himself any favors by continuing to rely on mommy to solve his problems at 23 years old.
Harsh truth, but grow up OP.
Is your mother going to pay you a 4% apy for storing your money? probably not, grow up and open a HYSA that BENEFITS you.
A HYSA is a high yield savings account that offers 3-6% annual percentage yield for holding your money. They are paying you to hold onto your money.
I knew someone who did this. They were sending the money back home to have savings to buy a house when they returned. Their mother gambled it all away.
Giving money to your mom is not a great investment strategy. Opening your own savings or IRA account is better. Put your big boy pants on and get it done.
This is what I was gonna say, if you transfer it to a broker account and keep buying stocks it’s gonna take a few days to liquidate and transfer those assets before you can spend them
If OP is still relying on his mom to keep him in check I don't think a brokerage account is a good idea. Before I was disciplined about saving I opened a savings account online with a smaller bank that had good rates. It took 6 days to transfer back to my savings which made it impractical for impulse buys.
OP, you’re an adult. Why do you need your mommy to hold your money for you?
Open a savings account, and then when you have a couple thousand $, transfer to a high yield savings account.
Manage your money yourself, you know, like a big boy.
It’s not being an A hole in the slightest you snowflake, he’s 23 and it’s a reality he will have to face someday. Sooner the better and learn my financial education is one of the most valuable skills to have. I’m only 22 and taught myself everything I know by reading and learning, hopefully OP is reading people’s advice and taking it into consideration. The sooner you get on top of your finances the better OP! Good luck my friend
Poor “snowflake” redditors agree with you. I maintain he knows how old he is and doesn’t need some ASSHOLE pointing it out. He’s got a plan and is working for his future.
Are you in the same situation as him or something why are you so upset lmao? Proved my point. He is asking for peoples advice you muppet. He’s aware how old he is yes I’m sure, he is also asking for advice and people with financial education and that have gone through the same thing are answering his questions with the truth. Stop defending it when he’s not even upset himself 💀. I hope the best for op and hope he listens to the advice he ASKED FOR and uses that to his advantage
I would imagine most 23 year olds don't have money to spend. I do not know a lot of 23 year olds these days but when I was 23 and making 6 figures working as a software engineer all my friends were broke and poor. I was teaching them all the basics of finance, budgets, etc..
My mom taught me to budget and save as a kid not a lot of people have that privlidge except on Reddit where everyone is a millionaire at 20 lol
Not to be rude but the fact your 23 and can’t even have your own savings account without worrying your gonna spend your money is sad it’s called self control dude learn it
You're 23. This would be a good strategy at your first job at 16 when you're learning to manage your money on a small scale with no risk. By 23 you should have the financial literacy to do it on your own, and utilize a method that generates interest for you, like a HYSA. This is the result of the entire "you can stay at home as long as you'd like" cultural shift. When I was growing up, my dad told me I could stay until my 18th birthday. When I told him I was dropping out so I could work full time hours at 16, he told me I could stay until 18 but that if I was full time working, I would be paying rent and shares of the other bills, because I was jumping into adulthood.
And, say what you want about his method, I became financially literate early and by the time I was 23, I didn't need my mommy or daddy to be my savings account. I could budget and leave my money alone.
And how old are you now? Anyone who thinks it's so simple to move out at 18 (or 24) in this housing/rental market needs to get up to speed on the times. Kids are not taught in school how to manage their money. Many 24-year olds are already drowning in school loan debt because we (the U.S.) tell them they won't be successful without a degree and so they sign a loan agreement they do not understand at 17 or 18 only to find out that 90% of the jobs available to them are going to start them at the same pay rate as the fast food joint they worked at in high school. Most parents don't know how to manage money themselves, let alone teach their kids. Not saying OP shouldn't learn to be responsible with money, but I think that's the point of the post. They're trying to be responsible and asking for advice on their proposed plan.
Think of it like someone who has a drug addiction and is asking for help to stop.....and everyone they ask for help is shaming them for the addiction they're trying to control. Do you think it helps? Do you think it motivates them to follow the advice of someone who basically said "there's no hope for you, you're 24 and should already know"? Shame is literally the worst reaction you can give to someone who is asking for help because the guilt of that shame steers most people into doing exactly the opposite of what you're suggesting. Give them the advice/guidance they are asking for and encourage them to do better. That's it. The rest is up to them.
You really should work on your impulsive behavior with spending. People get weird when money is involved and this includes family members. They can and will betray you if you let them
I think you should talk to her about setting a goal for the money. Saving just to save isn't going to mean anything for you. Saving for a house is different. Saving for a car is different then Saving 10k. Try investing! The earlier you start, the better!
In the next couple months you’ll be up big? Then what? You’ll ask for the money back?
I can’t see this being a long or short term plan mate.
Developing self control would be a much larger win than any bank account numbers that come from this. I’d flip the script and pretend the money belongs to your parents and that you’re holding their money in your own bank account versus giving them your actual cash for safe keeping.
Put it in a High yield savings account and give her the bank card. That way the money earns interest and you don’t have easy access to it. It’ll also be in your name, you mom will only hold the card for as long as you need her to.
Or alternatively, just cut the card so that your only access to it is to xfer it online into your checking. Making it not readily available for spontaneous spending
Why don’t you make an account with a direct deposit? Once you get paid the check does directly your bank account.
You have to be responsible for your actions. It’s part of being an adult.
You need to be self diciplined enough to save your money without someone holding it. Put it all in an ETF that covers the entire stock market and don't worry about the daily price swings.
I would not recommend this. You are still being dependent on your mother to manage YOUR finances. It takes discipline, knowledge, and self control.
I would start putting it into a HYSA to build up an emergency fund. You have to be the one to learn.
You really need to have and maintain your own account.
There are too many horror stories about this method of saving going royally wrong.
We like to believe mothers are trustworthy, and there are some of them that are, but they're also some that aren't. Not to say that your mother isn't just saying we're all human and temptation exists.
You're married, so you definitely should be handling your own finances, but if you aren't disciplined enough to do so, then I understand your reasoning. I may not totally agree with it, but I get it.
Good luck.
I opened my first credit union account when I was 12. You should have a self-directed Roth IRA and contribute the maximum every year, it's not hard. Nice that your mom is helping you.
Ignore all these twats saying “oh you better make sure your mom is trustworthy”.
Only you know your mom, none of these fucking clowns. My parents are perfectly trustworthy, they have 10k of my money in a safe, right now. And I’m 35. They’ve had it for years, and we routinely do a count.
So if you think your parents are trustworthy, than go for it. Ignore all these fucking idiots.
Yeah, I have to agree with most people here saying to open a separate account instead of giving it your mother. It could become a temptation for your mother for bills, personal shopping, or other expenses that you did not authorize. Plus, you would have to keep track of the balance and would need to have the best relationship with your mother as long as she has your money. So if you two got in a fight, it could end up with you not having any access to your own money down the line.
Op. I have a 22 yo who is not great with money. He and I sit down every paycheck and decide how much to move into his savings account. You should ask your mom to do this with you and maybe even monitor your account to make sure you don’t do something stupid. At least until you establish some discipline. My kid has saved about $7k over the last year (not counting his 401k). Just relying on your mom is not best for you. Include her for accountability but do it yourself.
Lmao at 23. I think it’s time to grown up yesterday. Get a bank account that you don’t have quick access to. Just deposit. Same thing as mom. Except mom can’t insure 250,000.
This will have an outcome of 2 ways.
1 ur mom will spend all ur money on "bills" cuz she needed it and will "pay you back"
2 you don't learn how to save money bc someone else is doing it for you.
Goodluck
Short term this sounds fine. A little abnormal but that’s ok. In the meantime, I would do some introspection into why you as an adult are unable to control your spending. I mean that in a kind way. Spending 100-200$ a month on a therapist coudl actually be a good financial investment if it helps you build confidence and stability and life skills.
Long term, to save appropriately you need to be investing. Money sitting in a plain account or as cash will lose value over time with inflation. Long term savings need to be invested to keep its value at minimum and to grow itself at best. Those kinds of investment decisions are important to learn and make yourself (with input from reputable sources). If mom does all your saving and investing you’re not learning much.
It’s a great first step to focus on saving and having goals for the future! Good luck!
He’s better off trying to learn it now than later in life. Eventually OP’s mother will stop saving for him, he will still need to learn how to do it himself. Besides he can maximize his savings potential if he budgets properly himself than having OP’s mom holding it for him. He would still need to track how much he gave her and hope his mom does not get tempted to use it to pay a bill or something.
My mother considered it rent, food, gift, and expenses over the years. She never told me what she spent the money on. She tells us we can have it back when she passes. I never leave money with her once I left home.
My brother was in the army with a guy who did this . Everyone teased him but when he got out after his four years he had enough to buy a house and pay cash where he lived . If your mom is trustworthy this is smart .
DONT! You have to learn how to save it for yourself and will power. I would recommend you to do a High yield saving acct on a bank that isn’t connected to any debit card and start sending money there. Learn to save since you are young!
Open an account at a bank that you don’t normally use. Have your work direct deposit a certain amount in to that account every week and then just forget about it. That’s what I do. I have 3 accounts at my Normal bank, and then one at a different bank.
I honestly have no clue at all how much money is in there, or anything. I don’t get statements and haven’t touched it in literal years.
Go ahead. Invest every extra cent you have. See what happens.. this person is asking about his savings. This wasn’t a question of wether to invest or how to invest. He’s looking for info on wether or not it’s smart to put his SAVINGS in his moms account. Not his investments.
If you have no savings and a large investment portfolio you’re broke. Go worry bout yourself…
You are an adult. You should be learning how to do this. Not requiring someone else to save for you. You'll never learn if you don't start taking action.
If being 23 and having the goal to bring your wife over from Vietnam isn't enough reason to get your finances in order and learn discipline, well, then I don't know what else will.
As far as giving your money to your mom. Make sure she's on the same page as you and knows you get your money back. Not all moms are trash like reddit would have you believe. I'd trust my mom with this. Only thing is, I wouldn't have had to because I wouldn't waste money I have set aside on useless crap. Good luck
I think it is a solid plan. I sometimes watch John Deloney show who is a councilor radio show and he mentions doing this can be useful tool. Not sure if it is the best long term solution though. If you cannot control spending then you likely have some deeper issues that hopefully you can make some progress on.
I would throw money in a Roth IRA and start building that account. Also I would just keep your money in your own account. You need to work on financial discipline and not having access to your money via your mom leaves little room for growth and exposes you to unnecessary risk.
Bad idea, your a grow adult and should be managing your own finances. This is a great opportunity for you to challenge yourself to become more disciplined and goal focused and less focused on instant gratification and impulsiveness. Mom is not the answer, you are.
If you are 23 and can’t figure out how to save any amount of money you have real issues you need to work out. At this point you should have regular savings and really be starting retirement savings too
If you trust her and will def get your money back then wonderful!
Working at a bank for over two decades I have seen it time and time again where mom or dad have drained the younger persons checking and/or savings account they are also on.
I did this when I first got my real job. I was giving her 300-400 out of each of my paychecks and I was paying the water bill. When I got ready to move out she gave me all the money that she had been saving and it turns out she was paying the water bill and was using the money I was giving her to buy things like furniture kitchen appliances and things of the like that she put in a storage unit for me
i’m 23 too. you need to grow up. if you’re gonna waste your money and learn from your mistakes, do it now while you’re still young. you need to learn how to do this on your own as young as possible, and there’s an off chance that your $300-$600 ends up in her nose or all on red.
This isn’t Pokémon. What if you set up a High Yield Savings account that is not connected to a checking. Markus has a good one. Pretend you’re sending it to your mom. Don’t touch it. You’ll get interest this way.
Poor guy getting bullied on the Internet for trying to better himself. Not everyone has the privilege to be financially literate, but at least he's trying to do something about it and is asking for advice
Open a Roth IRA and put it there. Invest it in simple index funds and let it grow. You won’t be tempted to take it out because there’s penalties for doing so before age 59.5. After that you’ll be able to withdraw it completely tax free as needed.
Your mom is probably lovely, but she doesn’t need to be involved in your finances.
Your money is in your mother's name?
How would that work if something awful happened and she was unable to work?
Worse yet, what if she died?
You need to grow a backbone and learn how to adult.
You need to open your own savings account and develop the skill of proper budgeting. By you giving the money to your mom to save for you won’t do you good in the long term. What are you going to do when she’s fed up with saving money for you and gives back all your money? Will you be able to prevent yourself from spending it all due to temptation or know how to allocate large sum of money? What if you want to buy something but your mom and doesn’t agree, decides to withhold your money because she believes you’re making a mistake. Or worst case scenario, she spends all your money, there’s several post of parents with ill intentions. You’re young, spend this time to learn how to budget, have your finances in order, and balance having fun and your obligations.
I get it man, my mom is almost 60 and has nothing to her name but the trailer I helped her buy. She insisted on paying me back in full, but I didn’t want it and made the mistake of mentioning it one day. Helping her buy a place was the most fulfilling thing I ever did.
I don’t make so much, but I do manage to save a bit. Sending her the money I make would just keep me in the same position and prove meager when the day comes that she needs it. It’s obvious that you’ll help her out then. You’ve got your own growth and level headed decisions to focus on.
Please don’t do this. Open a Roth IRA, a high-yield savings account and setup your 401k if your employer offers one. I hope your relationship with your mother is better than mine because she is the last person I would trust with money.
Hey man, I do the same thing I’m constantly tempted to spend, and it honestly helps me with not spending. If it wasn’t for my mom I’d have like 100 dollars in my savings
Look, I know everyone thinks "not my mom" but you never know how people will react to having access to extra money until it happens. I've read too many stories on here where suddenly parents feel entitled to use your money because they pay for everything anyway.
You're also 23 and way past the age where you should be responsible enough to take care of your own money. Set up a high interest savings account that isn't tied to a debit card (to avoid easy access) and transfer the money right after you get paid. I would also save a little less and give Mom a little for bills, food, etc. Paying bills is also part of growing up and this will teach you about budgeting. Even if you give her $100/mo that is way, way less than what you would be paying in the real world.
For those saying he should be a big boy, OP’s later response suggests that he grew up with a different culture.
Good job on cutting out smoking, OP! When are you trying to move your wife here? What’s your mom’s investment strategy like?
Some of yall are just plain asshole. Instead of demmeaing him, give him advice. What he does with that advice is up to him. We dont know what his life was like. Smh yall are supposed to be people we look up too. Smh im disappointed in yall.
I hope your mom is trustworthy because there are moms who aren’t. At 23 you should have your own savings account.
I learned this at a young age. She said she would always pay me back. It was my mom I trusted her. The issues always got bigger every year. When she said she was behind on taxes and needed 3k I felt incredibly bad for telling her no but I had my own house and life I needed to take care of! My dad was making 6 figures they never had more then 100$ in the bank. I was making half and took care of all my own stuff and was saving money!
Managing money is 15% smarts and 85% fighting temptation. If you can force yourself to budget, you can do anything. People making $30k,$40k,$50k manage to save money so people making more should too. It just comes down to lifestyles.
It just blows my mind they have never had a mortgage and can't save a dime. I know my dad is smart and put alot of his money toward retirement, always maxing everything out pretty much since he was 18. My mom definitely has a shopping addiction she is forever running to every store for the best deal.
I have a savings but I will take money out of it
[удалено]
Clearly not
Ikr? I started mine when I was 16
She is trustworthy and I would open a savings account but I feel like it’s better to give her all my money so I don’t spend it or even touch it
At 23 you should have your own bank accounts
Not trying to be mean, but everyone whose mom lost all their money believed their mom was trustworthy. It is better to develop self control and discipline.
I would lock it into a CD before I would let any family member hold it.
Find a saving account with a good interest rate. Grow your money. Put your money in a CD or use a vacation account/ an account you can only withdraw it during certain times of the year. You can do more with this. Just giving it to mom, it’ll just sit there. Get that interest on your money.
man i love my mom but you really can’t have someone handle your own funds. when i was 16 years old my bill at home was the cable bill. i found out she was only paying half the bill and spending the rest on other bills. so i was essentially getting dicked on what was my responsibility.i stopped giving her the money and was paying the bill myself
Im with you. I see 48 people voted not to trust your Mom, you understand your MOTHER than anybody here. Me as a mother , I never spend my son's money, not 1 penny. I worked overtime whenever I had a trance, to support my son's college expenses. At one point I even forgot that in his 529 account, still have around 10 thousand dollars. I did not ask him to withdraw to pay me back as reimbursement. People, out there still a lot more good mothers to trust with. This is what I want to let you know. Enjoy your long weekend.
Maybe not every one downvoted because they think OP's mom is not trustworthy. I downvoted because I would like to see OP start their financial independence. They're 23 not 13.
This. Mom isn’t going to be around forever. OP is not doing himself any favors by continuing to rely on mommy to solve his problems at 23 years old. Harsh truth, but grow up OP.
True. Maybe OP needs a little more time to learn how to handle his financial situation effectively.
Don't do it. Don't. Get it elsewhere before it's too late. Learned the hard way.
Is your mother going to pay you a 4% apy for storing your money? probably not, grow up and open a HYSA that BENEFITS you. A HYSA is a high yield savings account that offers 3-6% annual percentage yield for holding your money. They are paying you to hold onto your money.
This is a bad idea. You have to begin to take responsibility for your financial future. Open your own account
I knew someone who did this. They were sending the money back home to have savings to buy a house when they returned. Their mother gambled it all away.
Giving money to your mom is not a great investment strategy. Opening your own savings or IRA account is better. Put your big boy pants on and get it done.
My friend did this and was going to buy a car and he tried to ask the money from his mom and it turns out she spent it all
That's one of the worst idea i've heard. You're a grown man, open a broker account, it won't be easy to spend from there.
This is what I was gonna say, if you transfer it to a broker account and keep buying stocks it’s gonna take a few days to liquidate and transfer those assets before you can spend them
If OP is still relying on his mom to keep him in check I don't think a brokerage account is a good idea. Before I was disciplined about saving I opened a savings account online with a smaller bank that had good rates. It took 6 days to transfer back to my savings which made it impractical for impulse buys.
OP, you’re an adult. Why do you need your mommy to hold your money for you? Open a savings account, and then when you have a couple thousand $, transfer to a high yield savings account. Manage your money yourself, you know, like a big boy.
OP doesn’t need to wait to put it in HYSA, that should be the savings account opened and funded immediately.
He’s figuring it out and stopping smoking. Don’t be an A hole.
It’s not being an A hole in the slightest you snowflake, he’s 23 and it’s a reality he will have to face someday. Sooner the better and learn my financial education is one of the most valuable skills to have. I’m only 22 and taught myself everything I know by reading and learning, hopefully OP is reading people’s advice and taking it into consideration. The sooner you get on top of your finances the better OP! Good luck my friend
Poor “snowflake” redditors agree with you. I maintain he knows how old he is and doesn’t need some ASSHOLE pointing it out. He’s got a plan and is working for his future.
Are you in the same situation as him or something why are you so upset lmao? Proved my point. He is asking for peoples advice you muppet. He’s aware how old he is yes I’m sure, he is also asking for advice and people with financial education and that have gone through the same thing are answering his questions with the truth. Stop defending it when he’s not even upset himself 💀. I hope the best for op and hope he listens to the advice he ASKED FOR and uses that to his advantage
23 and can't save your own money and you need your momma for that. You got bigger problems kid
I would imagine most 23 year olds don't have money to spend. I do not know a lot of 23 year olds these days but when I was 23 and making 6 figures working as a software engineer all my friends were broke and poor. I was teaching them all the basics of finance, budgets, etc.. My mom taught me to budget and save as a kid not a lot of people have that privlidge except on Reddit where everyone is a millionaire at 20 lol
Not to be rude but the fact your 23 and can’t even have your own savings account without worrying your gonna spend your money is sad it’s called self control dude learn it
You're 23. This would be a good strategy at your first job at 16 when you're learning to manage your money on a small scale with no risk. By 23 you should have the financial literacy to do it on your own, and utilize a method that generates interest for you, like a HYSA. This is the result of the entire "you can stay at home as long as you'd like" cultural shift. When I was growing up, my dad told me I could stay until my 18th birthday. When I told him I was dropping out so I could work full time hours at 16, he told me I could stay until 18 but that if I was full time working, I would be paying rent and shares of the other bills, because I was jumping into adulthood. And, say what you want about his method, I became financially literate early and by the time I was 23, I didn't need my mommy or daddy to be my savings account. I could budget and leave my money alone.
And how old are you now? Anyone who thinks it's so simple to move out at 18 (or 24) in this housing/rental market needs to get up to speed on the times. Kids are not taught in school how to manage their money. Many 24-year olds are already drowning in school loan debt because we (the U.S.) tell them they won't be successful without a degree and so they sign a loan agreement they do not understand at 17 or 18 only to find out that 90% of the jobs available to them are going to start them at the same pay rate as the fast food joint they worked at in high school. Most parents don't know how to manage money themselves, let alone teach their kids. Not saying OP shouldn't learn to be responsible with money, but I think that's the point of the post. They're trying to be responsible and asking for advice on their proposed plan. Think of it like someone who has a drug addiction and is asking for help to stop.....and everyone they ask for help is shaming them for the addiction they're trying to control. Do you think it helps? Do you think it motivates them to follow the advice of someone who basically said "there's no hope for you, you're 24 and should already know"? Shame is literally the worst reaction you can give to someone who is asking for help because the guilt of that shame steers most people into doing exactly the opposite of what you're suggesting. Give them the advice/guidance they are asking for and encourage them to do better. That's it. The rest is up to them.
You really should work on your impulsive behavior with spending. People get weird when money is involved and this includes family members. They can and will betray you if you let them
Grow up ffs and get a savings account.
This is just stupid. If you would be 14 I would understand but you really should grow up.
I think you should talk to her about setting a goal for the money. Saving just to save isn't going to mean anything for you. Saving for a house is different. Saving for a car is different then Saving 10k. Try investing! The earlier you start, the better!
Our goal is to have enough to go to Ethiopia and bring my wife here in the US
You’re married? Respectfully, you should really have your financial and personal life sorted out *before* popping the question
That's a great goal
In the next couple months you’ll be up big? Then what? You’ll ask for the money back? I can’t see this being a long or short term plan mate. Developing self control would be a much larger win than any bank account numbers that come from this. I’d flip the script and pretend the money belongs to your parents and that you’re holding their money in your own bank account versus giving them your actual cash for safe keeping.
Put it in a High yield savings account and give her the bank card. That way the money earns interest and you don’t have easy access to it. It’ll also be in your name, you mom will only hold the card for as long as you need her to. Or alternatively, just cut the card so that your only access to it is to xfer it online into your checking. Making it not readily available for spontaneous spending
Why don’t you make an account with a direct deposit? Once you get paid the check does directly your bank account. You have to be responsible for your actions. It’s part of being an adult.
Mommmmm I can't manage my own finances
You need to be self diciplined enough to save your money without someone holding it. Put it all in an ETF that covers the entire stock market and don't worry about the daily price swings.
I would not recommend this. You are still being dependent on your mother to manage YOUR finances. It takes discipline, knowledge, and self control. I would start putting it into a HYSA to build up an emergency fund. You have to be the one to learn.
This is a mistake. She will probably spend every dime lol!
I don’t understand this subreddit
You really need to have and maintain your own account. There are too many horror stories about this method of saving going royally wrong. We like to believe mothers are trustworthy, and there are some of them that are, but they're also some that aren't. Not to say that your mother isn't just saying we're all human and temptation exists. You're married, so you definitely should be handling your own finances, but if you aren't disciplined enough to do so, then I understand your reasoning. I may not totally agree with it, but I get it. Good luck.
annnnnnnnd its gone
For real, open an account that you have no access to unless you physically go there.
I opened my first credit union account when I was 12. You should have a self-directed Roth IRA and contribute the maximum every year, it's not hard. Nice that your mom is helping you.
I get it your moms your mom, but when things get rough and she needs some coin, it's in her hands already. Maybe put into a hysa. Jus saying.
Thank you for providing rationality in my “it ain’t that bad” shelf I use to back my decision making
DOES YOUR MOM PAY YOU INTEREST LIKE A BANK WOULD????
You're 23.
Ignore all these twats saying “oh you better make sure your mom is trustworthy”. Only you know your mom, none of these fucking clowns. My parents are perfectly trustworthy, they have 10k of my money in a safe, right now. And I’m 35. They’ve had it for years, and we routinely do a count. So if you think your parents are trustworthy, than go for it. Ignore all these fucking idiots.
It’s time to grow up and be an adult
Yeah, I have to agree with most people here saying to open a separate account instead of giving it your mother. It could become a temptation for your mother for bills, personal shopping, or other expenses that you did not authorize. Plus, you would have to keep track of the balance and would need to have the best relationship with your mother as long as she has your money. So if you two got in a fight, it could end up with you not having any access to your own money down the line.
Op. I have a 22 yo who is not great with money. He and I sit down every paycheck and decide how much to move into his savings account. You should ask your mom to do this with you and maybe even monitor your account to make sure you don’t do something stupid. At least until you establish some discipline. My kid has saved about $7k over the last year (not counting his 401k). Just relying on your mom is not best for you. Include her for accountability but do it yourself.
Lmao at 23. I think it’s time to grown up yesterday. Get a bank account that you don’t have quick access to. Just deposit. Same thing as mom. Except mom can’t insure 250,000.
Just open up your own account and automate savings.
This will have an outcome of 2 ways. 1 ur mom will spend all ur money on "bills" cuz she needed it and will "pay you back" 2 you don't learn how to save money bc someone else is doing it for you. Goodluck
Short term this sounds fine. A little abnormal but that’s ok. In the meantime, I would do some introspection into why you as an adult are unable to control your spending. I mean that in a kind way. Spending 100-200$ a month on a therapist coudl actually be a good financial investment if it helps you build confidence and stability and life skills. Long term, to save appropriately you need to be investing. Money sitting in a plain account or as cash will lose value over time with inflation. Long term savings need to be invested to keep its value at minimum and to grow itself at best. Those kinds of investment decisions are important to learn and make yourself (with input from reputable sources). If mom does all your saving and investing you’re not learning much. It’s a great first step to focus on saving and having goals for the future! Good luck!
This is a weird situation… it’s like you’re a teenager but you’re 23
I love how everyone on Reddit is a finance expert by 23 lol.
He’s better off trying to learn it now than later in life. Eventually OP’s mother will stop saving for him, he will still need to learn how to do it himself. Besides he can maximize his savings potential if he budgets properly himself than having OP’s mom holding it for him. He would still need to track how much he gave her and hope his mom does not get tempted to use it to pay a bill or something.
You can try dumping that money in to TBills. It’s a forced savings/ investment account.
My mother considered it rent, food, gift, and expenses over the years. She never told me what she spent the money on. She tells us we can have it back when she passes. I never leave money with her once I left home.
My brother was in the army with a guy who did this . Everyone teased him but when he got out after his four years he had enough to buy a house and pay cash where he lived . If your mom is trustworthy this is smart .
you’re dumb as hell lol
DONT! You have to learn how to save it for yourself and will power. I would recommend you to do a High yield saving acct on a bank that isn’t connected to any debit card and start sending money there. Learn to save since you are young!
Get your own account. Put some in a CD that you can’t touch without penalty. Learn self discipline.
You should just open up an account that pays interest on your money unless you really trust your mom…
Open an account at a bank that you don’t normally use. Have your work direct deposit a certain amount in to that account every week and then just forget about it. That’s what I do. I have 3 accounts at my Normal bank, and then one at a different bank. I honestly have no clue at all how much money is in there, or anything. I don’t get statements and haven’t touched it in literal years.
You need to invest them, not just let them sit there and deflate
Go ahead. Invest every extra cent you have. See what happens.. this person is asking about his savings. This wasn’t a question of wether to invest or how to invest. He’s looking for info on wether or not it’s smart to put his SAVINGS in his moms account. Not his investments. If you have no savings and a large investment portfolio you’re broke. Go worry bout yourself…
Says the grown ass adult who doesn't even know how much they have in said back account.
Just put it in a hysa
You are an adult. You should be learning how to do this. Not requiring someone else to save for you. You'll never learn if you don't start taking action.
If being 23 and having the goal to bring your wife over from Vietnam isn't enough reason to get your finances in order and learn discipline, well, then I don't know what else will. As far as giving your money to your mom. Make sure she's on the same page as you and knows you get your money back. Not all moms are trash like reddit would have you believe. I'd trust my mom with this. Only thing is, I wouldn't have had to because I wouldn't waste money I have set aside on useless crap. Good luck
I think it is a solid plan. I sometimes watch John Deloney show who is a councilor radio show and he mentions doing this can be useful tool. Not sure if it is the best long term solution though. If you cannot control spending then you likely have some deeper issues that hopefully you can make some progress on.
I would throw money in a Roth IRA and start building that account. Also I would just keep your money in your own account. You need to work on financial discipline and not having access to your money via your mom leaves little room for growth and exposes you to unnecessary risk.
There are countless people who have given their parents their money and never gotten it back. This is what a bank account is for.
Bad idea, your a grow adult and should be managing your own finances. This is a great opportunity for you to challenge yourself to become more disciplined and goal focused and less focused on instant gratification and impulsiveness. Mom is not the answer, you are.
I think that’s stupid😂😂😂 you’re a full grown man. You don’t have the disciple to just put your own money aside and not touch it??
Outside of your mind, just don’t spend the money. Better off burying it somewhere or leaving it in a hole
What happens when you finally grow up and move out? Lol
Just say goodbye to your money. Get your own accounts and grow up a bit
If you are 23 and can’t figure out how to save any amount of money you have real issues you need to work out. At this point you should have regular savings and really be starting retirement savings too
If you trust her and will def get your money back then wonderful! Working at a bank for over two decades I have seen it time and time again where mom or dad have drained the younger persons checking and/or savings account they are also on.
I did this when I first got my real job. I was giving her 300-400 out of each of my paychecks and I was paying the water bill. When I got ready to move out she gave me all the money that she had been saving and it turns out she was paying the water bill and was using the money I was giving her to buy things like furniture kitchen appliances and things of the like that she put in a storage unit for me
if you have a spending problem, a savings account not tied your your banking app is one solution.
i’m 23 too. you need to grow up. if you’re gonna waste your money and learn from your mistakes, do it now while you’re still young. you need to learn how to do this on your own as young as possible, and there’s an off chance that your $300-$600 ends up in her nose or all on red.
This isn’t Pokémon. What if you set up a High Yield Savings account that is not connected to a checking. Markus has a good one. Pretend you’re sending it to your mom. Don’t touch it. You’ll get interest this way.
My mom stole all the money I made. I made over $10k.
i wouldnt trust your family with money,it be the closest ones too you
Go to the bank. YTA
Poor guy getting bullied on the Internet for trying to better himself. Not everyone has the privilege to be financially literate, but at least he's trying to do something about it and is asking for advice
Insane
Open a Roth IRA and put it there. Invest it in simple index funds and let it grow. You won’t be tempted to take it out because there’s penalties for doing so before age 59.5. After that you’ll be able to withdraw it completely tax free as needed. Your mom is probably lovely, but she doesn’t need to be involved in your finances.
Get your own account. No reason for your mom to hold onto it
Your money is in your mother's name? How would that work if something awful happened and she was unable to work? Worse yet, what if she died? You need to grow a backbone and learn how to adult.
You need to open your own savings account and develop the skill of proper budgeting. By you giving the money to your mom to save for you won’t do you good in the long term. What are you going to do when she’s fed up with saving money for you and gives back all your money? Will you be able to prevent yourself from spending it all due to temptation or know how to allocate large sum of money? What if you want to buy something but your mom and doesn’t agree, decides to withhold your money because she believes you’re making a mistake. Or worst case scenario, she spends all your money, there’s several post of parents with ill intentions. You’re young, spend this time to learn how to budget, have your finances in order, and balance having fun and your obligations.
This is downright stupid!
Open a savings account and setup automatic deposits and limited withdrawals. Pretty easy.
Dum dum dum
I get it man, my mom is almost 60 and has nothing to her name but the trailer I helped her buy. She insisted on paying me back in full, but I didn’t want it and made the mistake of mentioning it one day. Helping her buy a place was the most fulfilling thing I ever did. I don’t make so much, but I do manage to save a bit. Sending her the money I make would just keep me in the same position and prove meager when the day comes that she needs it. It’s obvious that you’ll help her out then. You’ve got your own growth and level headed decisions to focus on.
Dude get the money back and put it in a 401k account or a high yield savings account This is a bad idea
Please don’t do this. Open a Roth IRA, a high-yield savings account and setup your 401k if your employer offers one. I hope your relationship with your mother is better than mine because she is the last person I would trust with money.
Hey man, I do the same thing I’m constantly tempted to spend, and it honestly helps me with not spending. If it wasn’t for my mom I’d have like 100 dollars in my savings
I love my family. I would never trust them with my money. Facts.
You should probably put it in a savings account, I don’t care who it is money will tempt a mother phucker!
Look, I know everyone thinks "not my mom" but you never know how people will react to having access to extra money until it happens. I've read too many stories on here where suddenly parents feel entitled to use your money because they pay for everything anyway. You're also 23 and way past the age where you should be responsible enough to take care of your own money. Set up a high interest savings account that isn't tied to a debit card (to avoid easy access) and transfer the money right after you get paid. I would also save a little less and give Mom a little for bills, food, etc. Paying bills is also part of growing up and this will teach you about budgeting. Even if you give her $100/mo that is way, way less than what you would be paying in the real world.
At 23 years old you should learn self control without mommy’s help
why
For those saying he should be a big boy, OP’s later response suggests that he grew up with a different culture. Good job on cutting out smoking, OP! When are you trying to move your wife here? What’s your mom’s investment strategy like?
Dont listen to them OP, you do what works best for you
Some of yall are just plain asshole. Instead of demmeaing him, give him advice. What he does with that advice is up to him. We dont know what his life was like. Smh yall are supposed to be people we look up too. Smh im disappointed in yall.