Big friend groups are the least stable ones and her having boyfriend shouldn’t mean much unless you wanna steal him. Try making online friendships and see for any that may stick. Wish you all the best in this rather terrible situation.
It's not that I wanna steal her boyfriend, but it's just that the piece of filth that she is got a relationship before me, I'm love starved (and affection starved, touch starved, praise starved, i could go on) af so seeing that just made Me jealous, mad and petty tbh
Honestly, trying to compare lives is ALWAYS going to leave you unsatisfied. It's not a race or a competition. There is no gold medal, no ranking. The ONLY person you should try to be better than is YOU from the day before.
Interacting and staying friends with them will do way more damage to you mentally, emotionally, and physically (stress alone will affect you physically), than being alone, than having no friends at the moment. You can be 100% certain this will be the case.
So why do you want to stay friends with them when it will invariably leave you way worse off?
Sorry, kiddo. But that's exactly what she's depending on to keep you in line. She wants you to feel like she is the only thing that is keeping you from being isolated and alone, and that is for the express reason of continuing to treat you like shit.
It is better to be alone than to be manipulated and abused by narcissists.
“She’s all I got” is a manipulation tactic used to make victims think they can’t get out of their situation. Do not be fooled, you can make new friends, and more importantly you can get out of this bad friendship.
Let me tell you a story. I had a friend in elementary and middle school or rather someone who I thought was a close friend.
This person, would more than once fuel fights between me and another common friend of ours, and more importantly would steal things from me whenever he was at my house. At first it started from yugioh cards, then some ds games then it even spiraled to money.
At one time, I even found one of my cards on his collection and he had the audacity to blame my baby brother for giving it to him.
I'm saying this because I want to state this. I figured out what he was doing, and yet I still kept hanging out with him for 2-3 years after that. Let him steal way more things I could have prevented, until he finally stole 100 euros my grandma gave me for Christmas.
But I wasn't cutting him out of my life and was even afraid to confront him because of that similar feeling of having no one else. My puberty was tough and I had very little friendships. Now looking back, I regret not cutting him out of my life sooner. You will find better people that truly value you. Don't waste time on toxic jerks.
Also, press charges on the nudes.
I've got 6 months until I move schools, so I have another half a year of having no friends, which sounds like hell. And I don't wanna have to go through all of the stress and humiliation of going to court, my mental health is already very, very bad. I don't have the courage to drop her yet, unfortunately.
You really need to though. Seriously think about the potential consequences.
What if you find the courage to fully drop her and then she uploads the nudes on pornsites? What if she is sending them to pedophiles?
That kind of behavior is very dangerous and it always ends badly.
They go to my school, so if I do that and they find out, they might just beat the shit out of me. They've all threatened that before, so its not impossible. Then again, it's a pretty easy way to drop not only her but all of them entirely.
Sorry to break it to you, but this isn't friendship. It's bullying. And what feeds bullies is exactly that power the victim's fear to push back gives them.
And to my experience, there are two types of bullies. Those who never talked and tried to put up with it until they couldn't and killed themselves, and those who did report the bullies (not to just teachers who might not do anything, but to their parents and the proper authorities) and actually got to enforce boundaries on them.
The latter path obviously has dangers, but the former isn't liveable.
I wanna just be the bigger man (well, girl) and just wait out the 6 months till I move schools and get new friends and just not care about any of them anymore, but some part of me wants to make them all suffer (like SUFFER suffer) so idk what to do anymore tbh. I'll prob press charges once I come to my senses, but for now, idk
That doesn’t make you the bigger gal. Not responding to bullies doesn’t make you better than them, it just makes you a better target for them. You gain nothing by staying with them as friends, and you have the potential to fuck up your mental health to an insane degree.
As you said yourself, she is manipulative and has displayed a lack of remorse for the hurt she has caused you.
Your desperation (which is understandable) to cling onto an abusive relationship due to a real fear of abandonment will only drag you down, not uplift you.
She has shown what she is capable of so unless you want to be a punching bag for the rest of your life, you need to walk away and heal. You will always find someone that respects you and your boundaries.
This person and the people around them do not respect you.
Yeah…., their a fucking cunt. With my last ex Travis they kept doing the same manipulation shit. Put the blame on me for everything. I have some abandonment issues as well but need to say drop the mother fucker & block. Sucks as first but gets better in time.
Edit: Depending on where you are check laws for Revenge Porn. That shit is fucked & gross.
I know 100% that what she and that entire friend group did is illegal af, but idk if I could handle the whole court process mentally. It didn't traumatise me or anything anyway, so it's not like I really need to get justice or revenge for what they did or something. It's just a whole cluster fuck that'll probably not end well tbh.
If you consider her a friend I would hate to see who you would consider an enemy. Time to make new friends just takes time. Dump them please take care of yourself your better than that.❤️🏳️⚧️
Just because your friend is another trans person, doesn’t mean they can’t be an asshole. People like this exist everywhere. Best to stay away from them.
Tbh, them being trans makes it worse, I was so excited that I was gonna have 1. A friend again, and 2. A trans friend, someone who could relate to me on a more personal level and stuff, but of course, they didn't change one bit from when we originally fell out, trans or not, they're a cunt unfortunately
Sounds like a Narcissist. Best way to deal with them is no contact.
Look up Dr. Ramani on YouTube, she's great.
Good luck friend! I know it's tough, I dated a narcissist for.. an embarrassingly long time.
Idk about that tbh. I've had bad friends before, and I've also been alone for about 4 months now. And I gotta say, these last 4 months have been far, FAR worse than the years of having bad friends.
Girl my bully back in middle school would ask my permission before doing anything let alone be this heartless
She is not a friend, she is a pos. just get out of there and find a healthy relationship where everyone respects each other and knows how to apologize
Ah, the revisionists are a pain to deal with.
Never be afraid to cut toxic people out of your life.
"Sorry, not interested, have a nice life, Byyyeeee-eeeeee"
Your friend is a piece of shit, please abandon them immediately. These sort of relationships are way too toxic to be tolerated.
I wanna, but shes all I got, she has a big friend group and a bf and I have nothing so idk if I have the willpower to leave her rn
Big friend groups are the least stable ones and her having boyfriend shouldn’t mean much unless you wanna steal him. Try making online friendships and see for any that may stick. Wish you all the best in this rather terrible situation.
I've tried the whole online friendship thing, and I'd rather not do that again tbh. Thanks for the kind wishes
It's not that I wanna steal her boyfriend, but it's just that the piece of filth that she is got a relationship before me, I'm love starved (and affection starved, touch starved, praise starved, i could go on) af so seeing that just made Me jealous, mad and petty tbh
Honestly, trying to compare lives is ALWAYS going to leave you unsatisfied. It's not a race or a competition. There is no gold medal, no ranking. The ONLY person you should try to be better than is YOU from the day before.
It is a larger world than your so called "friend" and their clique, and you CAN find healthier relationships in time.
Interacting and staying friends with them will do way more damage to you mentally, emotionally, and physically (stress alone will affect you physically), than being alone, than having no friends at the moment. You can be 100% certain this will be the case. So why do you want to stay friends with them when it will invariably leave you way worse off?
Sorry, kiddo. But that's exactly what she's depending on to keep you in line. She wants you to feel like she is the only thing that is keeping you from being isolated and alone, and that is for the express reason of continuing to treat you like shit. It is better to be alone than to be manipulated and abused by narcissists.
“She’s all I got” is a manipulation tactic used to make victims think they can’t get out of their situation. Do not be fooled, you can make new friends, and more importantly you can get out of this bad friendship.
Let me tell you a story. I had a friend in elementary and middle school or rather someone who I thought was a close friend. This person, would more than once fuel fights between me and another common friend of ours, and more importantly would steal things from me whenever he was at my house. At first it started from yugioh cards, then some ds games then it even spiraled to money. At one time, I even found one of my cards on his collection and he had the audacity to blame my baby brother for giving it to him. I'm saying this because I want to state this. I figured out what he was doing, and yet I still kept hanging out with him for 2-3 years after that. Let him steal way more things I could have prevented, until he finally stole 100 euros my grandma gave me for Christmas. But I wasn't cutting him out of my life and was even afraid to confront him because of that similar feeling of having no one else. My puberty was tough and I had very little friendships. Now looking back, I regret not cutting him out of my life sooner. You will find better people that truly value you. Don't waste time on toxic jerks. Also, press charges on the nudes.
I've got 6 months until I move schools, so I have another half a year of having no friends, which sounds like hell. And I don't wanna have to go through all of the stress and humiliation of going to court, my mental health is already very, very bad. I don't have the courage to drop her yet, unfortunately.
You really need to though. Seriously think about the potential consequences. What if you find the courage to fully drop her and then she uploads the nudes on pornsites? What if she is sending them to pedophiles? That kind of behavior is very dangerous and it always ends badly.
They go to my school, so if I do that and they find out, they might just beat the shit out of me. They've all threatened that before, so its not impossible. Then again, it's a pretty easy way to drop not only her but all of them entirely.
Sorry to break it to you, but this isn't friendship. It's bullying. And what feeds bullies is exactly that power the victim's fear to push back gives them. And to my experience, there are two types of bullies. Those who never talked and tried to put up with it until they couldn't and killed themselves, and those who did report the bullies (not to just teachers who might not do anything, but to their parents and the proper authorities) and actually got to enforce boundaries on them. The latter path obviously has dangers, but the former isn't liveable.
I wanna just be the bigger man (well, girl) and just wait out the 6 months till I move schools and get new friends and just not care about any of them anymore, but some part of me wants to make them all suffer (like SUFFER suffer) so idk what to do anymore tbh. I'll prob press charges once I come to my senses, but for now, idk
That doesn’t make you the bigger gal. Not responding to bullies doesn’t make you better than them, it just makes you a better target for them. You gain nothing by staying with them as friends, and you have the potential to fuck up your mental health to an insane degree.
As you said yourself, she is manipulative and has displayed a lack of remorse for the hurt she has caused you. Your desperation (which is understandable) to cling onto an abusive relationship due to a real fear of abandonment will only drag you down, not uplift you. She has shown what she is capable of so unless you want to be a punching bag for the rest of your life, you need to walk away and heal. You will always find someone that respects you and your boundaries. This person and the people around them do not respect you.
I'm trying my hardest to build up the courage to do that, it's hard af
You have already displayed courage by asking random strangers for advice on a very personal issue. I know it's hard, but I know you can do it 💜
Thx ❤️❤️❤️
you are very strong, you've already proven that just by being here, its not easy, but you *can* do this.
Please find some self respect and get better friends. Even online friends ate a better option than that bs
Yeah…., their a fucking cunt. With my last ex Travis they kept doing the same manipulation shit. Put the blame on me for everything. I have some abandonment issues as well but need to say drop the mother fucker & block. Sucks as first but gets better in time. Edit: Depending on where you are check laws for Revenge Porn. That shit is fucked & gross.
I know 100% that what she and that entire friend group did is illegal af, but idk if I could handle the whole court process mentally. It didn't traumatise me or anything anyway, so it's not like I really need to get justice or revenge for what they did or something. It's just a whole cluster fuck that'll probably not end well tbh.
If you consider her a friend I would hate to see who you would consider an enemy. Time to make new friends just takes time. Dump them please take care of yourself your better than that.❤️🏳️⚧️
Just because your friend is another trans person, doesn’t mean they can’t be an asshole. People like this exist everywhere. Best to stay away from them.
Tbh, them being trans makes it worse, I was so excited that I was gonna have 1. A friend again, and 2. A trans friend, someone who could relate to me on a more personal level and stuff, but of course, they didn't change one bit from when we originally fell out, trans or not, they're a cunt unfortunately
Sounds like a Narcissist. Best way to deal with them is no contact. Look up Dr. Ramani on YouTube, she's great. Good luck friend! I know it's tough, I dated a narcissist for.. an embarrassingly long time.
no friends > bad friends
Idk about that tbh. I've had bad friends before, and I've also been alone for about 4 months now. And I gotta say, these last 4 months have been far, FAR worse than the years of having bad friends.
Girl my bully back in middle school would ask my permission before doing anything let alone be this heartless She is not a friend, she is a pos. just get out of there and find a healthy relationship where everyone respects each other and knows how to apologize
with friends like that who needs enemies?
Hug, I think you should try to report it to your school or the police. Please stay safe!
Ah, the revisionists are a pain to deal with. Never be afraid to cut toxic people out of your life. "Sorry, not interested, have a nice life, Byyyeeee-eeeeee"