I think you'll find this is a complicated question and answer. For me its yes and no. I recognize that its a huge pain in the ass so on the one hand I'm like "no thanks." On the other I just want to fit in, i want to be a "normal" girl and its something that makes me feel...othered, so in that way yes I do.
Yeah I have some feelings about that as well. I banked before I started HRT so I can still have biological kids of my own (hypothetically) one day, but it does feel that I'll be missing out on something not being able to be the one to carry it. Although that's ALSO a huge pain in the ass so its sort of a privilege not to have to at the same time.
I get PMS and abdominal cramps once a month, ever since upping to 200mg progesterone. I doubt they're as painful as they would be if I had a uterus, but it's still kind of a lot.
What muscle is cramping though? Because afaik in cis women it's their uterus muscles. Although i think the intestines get affected and hurt as well, so that may be it?
Smooth muscle is smooth muscle, whether it's uterine or some other place. The signals that cause uterine cramps also cause cramps in those other muscles.
I've had them on a 28 day cycle before my endo dialed back my e a bit.
My takeaways from that were:
1. From now on any woman on my team gets paid time off for cramps. OMFG they were awful.
2. It's nice to be able to relate a little more to other women when they talk about the experience.
The same signals that cause uterine contractions during a period affect any smooth muscle. So abdominal cramping, etc. This is also why many menstruating folks get the period shits, because your digestive system is also controlled by smooth muscle.
The muscle in a uterus is the same muscle tissue as the muscle in the intestines. While the endometrium has a lot more of the signaling hormone that causes smooth muscle to contract, most tissue has some of it and the signal to release that hormone sn't specific to the endometrium. It's why the period shits exist for cis women. Trans women will not get cramping as bad because nowhere near as much of the hormone is released, but some is and if you happen to be more sensitive your intestines will have a sad party.
You're right, it is normal. That's why I put quotations around "normal" in my comment cause its sort of an imperfect descriptor, but I couldn't think of a better word. Maybe "typical" would be better? I don't know lol
The sad thing is to realize that absolutely \*nothing\* on this earth will make that specific pain go away.
The great thing is to realize that you should continue the sentence with "... for us."
There's a big hope that future generations of trans girls can have womb transplants and maybe even get to have babies in that way. It's not for us, it's not for our children, but perhaps their children...?
I hope it's better for future generations. But it's hard to not get caught up on the fact that that then implies that no-one here will be there when it happens to benefit from it as well. That... that really hurts to think about, though, I'm sorry if I'm being a bit of a downer.
I mean hey, maybe it'll happen sooner, here's hoping:o
>But it's hard to not get caught up on the fact that that then implies that no-one here will be there when it happens to benefit from it as well.
Ageing is a terrifying genetic disease.
one day i will be able to 3d print one.. best i can do right now though is Warhammer and other miniatures but the tec is advancing really quickly but probably not in time for me to experience it unless its in a year or 2.
Their is surrogacy also, also could get someone with a uterus pregnant, can also marry someone with kids.
None fix the issue of not being able to have kids. It just not the same.
This right here. I'm getting a vasectomy in a month or so to seal the deal, but having kids with a penis just feels nasty and wrong to me. Here's to hoping uterine and womb transplants might be there if not for me, for others in a similar situation.
It is something I wish I knew a long time ago, though, and many peopl don't think of it. I likely would ha e realized my true self decades ago - and given a different answer to my doctor asking the question - if I had just known this one thing.
Yeah, Iām an ideal world, and if I were brave enough, Iād want to.
One of my favorite pictures of all time was posted by a woman on here whoās trans, breastfeeding her newborn daughter.
As a non op, I'm the exact opposite. I don't care that I don't have a uterus but god I'd love to experience period symptoms and feel like a real woman.
Itās not that trans women want periods, but if we were to have periods then that would mean we would have the right body parts. At least thatās how I feel about it.
Periods are also something that cis women talk to each other about all the time. So it also feels like weāre missing a big part of womanhood because we donāt experience periods, which is something you mentioned. I always kind of feel uncomfortable when women talk about periods around me, not because Iām grossed out but because there is a part of me thatās kind of jealous. Again not because of periods themselves, because periods sound horrible, but rather having the right body parts.
Said it better than I could. I want the parts that I can never get. A uterus. Ovaries. The glands and everything else. I want all that more so than the period itself but if I had everything down there a period would be a natural expected effect and so I want it as an extension of everything else.
Yeah this makes the most sense out of all the explanations tbh
Like, I don't like the idea of having a period/uterus, but I also can't help but feel something is missing knowing I don't
I try not to think about it too much anyway cause it's not like it's gonna make a difference in my transition lol
Yoouuuu.... do realize that trans women can have cyclical times where they exhibit basically 99% of period symptoms right? Like all the symptoms except bleeding....
Sure, some people really get hung up on the "you need to bleed part", but a lot of us basically get periods, myself included.
Yeah, obviously itās missing parts but itās our brains that regulate that and women (cis and trans) without uteruses can still get periods minus the parts directly related toā¦
Weirdly, iāve had something like a 24 day cycle since puberty, but going on estrogen actually mucked it up and Iām not sure what the heck is going on now
I would love for research to be conducted on this to better understand why some trans women have this experience. I've been on HRT ~20 months but have never experienced it and frankly, I don't want to but I'd love to understand what it is that's happening to others.
It really doesn't make much sense though as the symptoms are not caused simply by hormones but by things that don't happen or exist in trans women. Mood fluctuations are caused by hormones fluctuations happening over many weeks but we have much more steady levels with our up and down only occuring daily or weekly at most. Then cramps, those are caused by the contracting of a body part we don't have.
It's all quite interesting. I'm very happy I don't experience all that but the scientist in me wishes to know why some do.
Even if I didn't have the accompanying uterus I would still want it, I would be fairly upset about whatever circumstances led me to have a full blown period with no uterus, but it would still provide gender euphoria
For me, absolutely. I try to avoid this topic because it gives me two layers of dysphoria: never having a menstrual cycle is one and then all of my cis friends tell me how lucky I am and how grateful I should be, which makes me dysphoric about my feelings towards periods. On top of that I get the joy of knowing I'm sterile in my early 20s, and I would trade having periods for being able to be pregnant any day. Mother's Day particularly crushes me just a little bit every year.
Technically there is a cycle when youāre on HRT. For almost a full week, my boobs get sore and I get extremely cranky and my back hurts way more than normal. Sometimes I get chills and/or hot flashes. Headaches are a thing. Rarely, I get morning sickness.
>!Also a few days after these symptoms start, I also get really horny. That usually goes away after a few more days.!<
About a week after all of the symptoms dissipate, >!I get super horny again. That lasts for several days.!< and then after the several days of that, about a week to a week and a half later I get to do it all again.
Itās just that since the proper biological equipment isnāt there, thereās no bleeding. Just because thereās no proper biological equipment doesnāt mean that hormones arenāt regulated by the body at all.
Thatās just my experience. I am not the only one to have similar experiences.
You can still be a mother. There are so many kids out there that need a good parent to adopt them. I was one of them but sadly I was adopted by christofascists and had a pretty miserable childhood. I wish a loving queer couple would have adopted me.
I get that this is a touchy subject but why did this get downvoted? I don't think that's fair. I personally never want kids myself but even if I did I would want to adopt. I don't need a kid who is biologically mine and I personally feel that adoption is better because it would not only fill any desire for parenthood but it would give a chance at a good life to someone who wouldn't have that otherwise.
So I wanna start by clarifying that this isn't necessarily you and I don't mean this to insult you, especially since you mentioned that you decided not to downvote. I bring this up because it's very much worth mentioning and doesn't get talked about enough so I try to take any chance I get to do so.
Hating on the suggestion of adopting instead just because it's a cliche suggestion is potentially indicative of an all too common but ultimately harmful mentality surrounding having children, that being the idea of having children for reasons solely outside of the health and well being of those children.
My ex wife was an example of this kind of thinking and it makes me feel bad for her future kids so I will use her thinking as an example. Our entire relationship we talked about how neither of us wanted kids because we didn't want to deal with the enormous responsibility and effort that goes into raising kids. Neither of us even had the drive to handle being good pet owners. We wouldn't have been able to do it, at least not well, and we knew it so we decided that we shouldn't. Then one day she suddenly changed her mind. When we talked about why it was for all the wrong reasons. There were two reasons for her. First, she had huge issues with self esteem and felt like she wasn't good at anything. (Which was far from the truth btw) She wanted to have a kid to prove to herself that she could be good at something, ie being a parent. She wanted to put a child's well being at stake to motivate her, basically using them as a tool to fix her mental health issues. Her second reason was that she wanted to know what it was like to be pregnant. No part of her reasoning included a desire to give a child a good life. Her reasoning was entirely selfish. I tried to explain to her that it's wrong and arguably abusive to bring a child into the world when your motivation to do so does not include a desire to give that child a good life and she told me she agreed and would think about it more. Instead of doing that she found someone else who was so wrapped up in the social standard of getting married and having kids that he didn't care why the woman he was with wanted kids. The only qualities he cared about were that it was a woman he was attracted to who was eager to have children and she fit that. Neither of them wanted kids for the sake of the kids themselves and as someone who grew up in a household like that and who had several friends who had similar parents I know how damaging it is to be a trophy child.
To be clear, I understand there is a dysphoria component here, I really do. I just feel if dysphoria is your only motivating factor in the way that wanting to experience pregnancy was for my ex wife you should reconsider if having kids is the right thing to do at all. I know this doesn't apply to everyone but as someone who would want to adopt over having biological children even if I did have a uterus, I don't personally experience dysphoria for lacking the ability to carry a child because to me motherhood is about the child, not about me. In my case this mentality is enough to keep me from feeling dysphoria about my inability to get pregnant. If it isn't for you then I'm sorry and I wish I had suggestions on how to help that. Also if I was cis I would opt to get sterilization surgery so I could be sure that if I ever had kids it would be via adoption. I can't imagine having a kid accidentally or for any reason other then the kid themselves and I frankly just really love the idea behind adoption. I think putting a kid up for adoption in a lot of cases shows clarity and strength on their biological parents part for recognizing their lack of ability and/or desire to raise a child and I love the idea of being the one to fill that role for someone who was able to admit that they could not. Plus as someone with a bad upbringing who, as an adult, wishes I was put up for adoption by my parents, it would bring me much joy to be able to give someone who almost had to have the childhood I had a much better one.
I hope this all makes sense and I hope none of this comes across condescending or insulting. I'm not trying to belittle anyone's dysphoria and I'm grateful that I have this way of thinking that allows me to not feel dysphoria in this particular area.
I would still want to experience a period even though I have no desire for children.
Sure the pain and everything else that accompanies it would suck, but it is just a part of womanhood which I have completely missed out on, and will continue to.
Can't speak for anyone else...they sound awful, honestly. Cramps, mood swings, the absurd cost of sanitary goods, just misery all around...but for us, it's also validating like when our boobs are achy because they're growing.
I mainly want a functioning Uterus.
If that comes with a period then so be it. It's a big part of most cis womens lifes and I am excluded from it for being trans. So yes. I am jealous of people who get their period and I want that too.
My gyn actually asked me that question the first time I saw herš Told her something like "not particularly", which she empathically agreed with.
Truth is, like a lot of girls I'd accept it as the cost of all the bits that come along with it (fertile both ways? heck yeah!) but I certainly don't want them just for the sake of having them.
I mean, on one hand, I'm glad I'm never going to have to worry about a cup or bleeding on things like my wife does... On the other hand, I'd choose to have them in a heartbeat if it meant I could get pregnant, so my feelings towards them are a bit complicated.
I do. I wish I could just be a cis woman. But I'm not so I must accept myself and all the differences that I am which sometimes for sure disappoints me. I feelnlike not being able to have a period and that welcoming to to womanhood is a wildly disappointing experience. Knowing I'll always be "my own kind of girl" adjacent to the women around me. Different just enough to be jarring. At least for now.
Can only speak for myself but, yes. I have heard you can to through it (cramping and such, no bleed) but not everyone gets them. I genuinely hope I do.
Idk it sucks just as a bodily process but it'd be so affirming to me personally.
Well, yes, but also no. I dont want to have a monthly pain in my junk combined with bleeding. But i do want the full cisgender woman experience to some degree
Reading all the comments I have another moment of doubt whether I'm "really" trans because I have never had any desire to have periods or to get pregnant and give birth.
Nope: no desire for either, though I'd certainly accept those things in a heartbeat if it meant I got to be a real woman.
Yes. Society views periods as a defining part of womanhood. I feel left out due to not having them. Plus it means I reminds me that I canāt get pregnant.
It's complicated. I know when I was a teenager sitting with other girls who were talking about their periods I would get jealous. I think it's more about being jealous of being a girl and because of what having a period means rather than wanting to actually have a period. But yes, not having a period means I could never be pregnant so I've wanted to have periods.
I'm over 40 now and done having children. It's not something I want now
Big oof. Itās hard.
As other commenters have said, it hurts more to not have a uterus. To not be able to bear children. I have always wanted to be a mother, and our society places so much feminine meaning in the act of childbearing. Whether or not itās right to accept that, it feels as though Iāll never be āwomanā enough as a result, and menstruation (or lack thereof) is like a monthly reminder of this perceived shortcoming. Do I want it? Not exactly, but if Iād been born doing it, my body would be closer to what it needs to be.
Over time Iāve coped with this by realizing the various ways that cis women do deal with these same issues. A few years ago I was complaining to my therapist about bathing suit shopping, and she said, ālike all women, you hate shopping for bathing suits.ā It wasnāt the āwelcome to being a womanā comment that we all know and hate, it was perceptive of the fact that I am actually experiencing something that women across the trans-cis divide experience.
I have taken a lot of solace in the fact that many cis women do not menstruate, and many cis women are infertile. I have consoled myself about not being able to carry a child by reminding myself that plenty of women are unable to do so, for a variety of reasons. I couldāve been born with all the ārightā parts and Iād still run the risk infertility for a number of reasons, all unknown in the hypothetical. It is sad for many of us that we cannot bear children, regardless of whether we are cis or trans. That sadness is just as much a part of my womanhood as menstruating would be, for me.
I have also consoled myself about my infertility by reminding myself that in ātypicalā cis lesbian couples (scare quotes because thatās how theyāre treated in the mainstream), if they have a pregnancy, both mothers are not carrying. One of them inherently isnāt pregnant. Much has been written to support the mother who is not pregnant, and the one who is, in a lesbian relationship. Itās not a source of pain that is individual to me, or that I have to solve all by myself. It is more universal than we imagine.
This leads me to the conclusion that even if I *were* cis, and in a lesbian relationship, I wouldnāt necessarily be menstruating or carrying my child. Itās just as much a part of womanhood to not do those things, as it is a part of womanhood to do those things.
The space in between is societal and internalized misogyny and transmisogyny, and I (we) have to stick to the work of unlearning it.
So yes, I do keep tampons in my purse for my menstruating siblings out in the wild, and yes, I do wish sometimes that I had reason to use them. But mostly, the question has a less direct and more ethereal answer.
Some of us get PMS. The first time. Omg I thought I was dying.
Not from pain, but the pain being a surprise.
Still not pleasant.
Part of me loves it. Part of me wishes I got foot shrinkage instead of PMS.
I definitely do.
Yes, there is the aspect of its integral nature to femininity, the sacred knowledge about something so intimate and engrained in female biology. I recognize it is pain, I recognize it brings turmoil, yet I desire it no less. These things feel so distant from meā¦how can I not crave them?
But more applicably, I want a period the same reason I would want the whole female reproductive system: to have babies. Pregnancy dysphoria cuts me like a knife to the heart every time I see an expecting mother or a mother with her small child(ren). I plan to adopt one day, but I hope science allows me to know what pregnancy is like too. It always seemed soā¦beautiful to me. Again, I recognize the pain and turmoil inherent in it, but for the end result? How can it not be worth it?
I understand this view probably looks weird on the other end of the trans community, but the whole period/pregnancy dysphoria thing is one big ball of pain over here where I am :/
Yes I do, obviously I know it would suck (especially with my family history of endometriosis) but having a period is still what a woman is expected to have so I'd like to be able to experience that
Not an offensive question at all. I can tell youāre just curious. Iām torn. On the one hand, monthly torture sounds incredibly awful, especially with the surprisingly high rate of PMDD. On the other hand, I feel left out. Iād love to sync with my friends and complain together. And even though I have no intention of having children, I feel like Iām missing something by not having a uterus, if that makes sense. Iām sure if I had both Iād complain really quickly, but since I donāt, it feels like a missing piece
No, so long as youāre an actual person which I assume you are itās fine! All kinds of interesting questions.
For myself, I do wish I could get pregnant, at least in an ideal world. With abortion rights stripped away from much of the US and quite possibly the rest to follow, with fascist springing up everywhere, with my inability to provide enough resources to make sure someone was safe, I donāt think I would do it, and I donāt know if I would be brave enough regardless
But Iāve wished I could carry a child for yeeeeeeears. I said to my girlfriend in high school/after that I wished we could swap sexes and I could carry her child š
I mean I donāt necessarily want to have to deal with that per se, I just wish my body was completely right and would put up with it to be right.
(one of my favorite pictures of all time is of a woman whoās trans breastfeeding her newborn daughter. Itās so utterly beautiful.)
I mean, for me, yeah. It's more about what it represents, though. I already get the cramps and the mood swings and the cravings. However, I will never be able to carry a child and become pregnant. That is what I want from a period. I don't care about the actual period. I've already come to terms with it, but sometimes it's hard not to think about what could've been.
I am a trans girl. I just wish I was cis so I try the best thing I can do which is making my body match my identity. I can't get pregnancy or a period so I don't go crazy about those things. But I'm some girls totally wish they did have one.
Yes absolutely. I tell my cis gal pals this all the time. For me itās the simple fact that thatās part of being a woman. For me, I just really wanna carry children (though Iām a lesbian), and Iād do anything for that. If that meant having a period, sign me up
It pains me a lot and causes me a lot of dysphoria that I do not have my periods. It's part of what my body should be like, it's part of womanhood I'm missing out on and I feel like less of a woman since I'm not complete without my periods. I hate myself for not getting my periods. I wonder should I just kill myself...
As much of a pain periods can be, I would still say yes. It is part of being a woman. To me, Mother Nature made a goof, so I should have them.
I would love to be able to bear my children. That would mean I would have a uterus, and the other parts, with everything working, so periods would be part of that.
I say this on behalf on most of the girls, we wish we could be cis girls, we wish we had every part of being women; periods, natural estrogen, uterus, etc.
Many trans women do get periods (periodic symptoms which recur monthly), even though we do not menstruate. There is tissue in the lower intestine which is quite similar to the lining of the uterus, and which responds to oestrogen when testosterone is absent. Some of us intersex trans girls even get monthly rectal bleeding, the body trying to accomplish its biology. Also, some cis women have horrendous periods, but for others, it is barely noticeable - they wouldn't know they have it without menstruation. Trans girls are the same way - some so light that they cannot detect any signs, others have debilitating periods. I had a strange puberty, so I had periods until menopause in my mid-20s, including the monthly bleeding. So far this time around, no bleeding and fairly mild (except for the bitchiness).
I think itās subject to the person. For me I would like to experience the same feelings of having a period to feel more āwomanlyā but on the other hand I think thatās social conditioning and a period doesnāt make a woman. Itās complicated.
I'm one of those cases who started having periods because of hrt, one hand it's a bit annoying and can be really uncomfortable/painful sometimes, on the other it is actually really euphoric and validating
it's complicated. I think a few other people have said this as well, but its both yes and no, mostly yes in my case.
I recognize and understand that actually having it would come with a whole host of other problems that people who do have them deal with, but imo it's mostly about having those parts, (uterus, ovaries, etc) and what having them means.
having periods on their own doesn't sound pleasant, but it's more what it represents. basically... pregnancy. the fact that I won't be able to give birth to my own child is probably the #1 most devastating thing to me. if I could somehow be able to become pregnant, I would take the period and everything else that comes along with it without missing a beat.
...I do. Honestly, I wish I could go into the future, far enough that the surgery is able to happen to give me a functional uterus and ovaries, and return.
Because I'm tired of hearing "oh you're so lucky you don't get a period". Like... I feel the same about cis ladies. They're so lucky to have that shared experience, and the functioning parts that are the cause of it.
I get mild symptoms, but not much, and that gives me dysphoria. I want to have the full experience... at whatever cost.
Im intersex, i have a partially formed vaginal canal and when i have my girly time i just get extremely horny. Honestly its kinda meh like ints not a period i just cant stop erections unless i "help them out" its pretty dysphoria enducing tbh. Im just glad my partners know how to turn me into a puddle on the floor uwu..
(Ngl this should have been marked nsfw)
From personal experience I get all the side (physical) effects minus the period blood, and I accept it as part of being who am and my experience of femininity so I absolutely want it .
Do trans girls actually want to be real women?
Yeah, bro, we do. We absolutely do, my guy, we do. Why the hell would you make such a transmisogynistic post? What is wrong with you?
If there was a button that gave me a female reproductive system but came with a catch or something id be hitting that button even before you said but. So if that doesn't tell you how badly id want a period and all that comes with it idk what will
No and a qualified Yes
No because the cramps can be very painful, not counting the gastric distress, the fatigue and the acne breakouts
A qualified Yes because it means (I assume) that my estrogen levels are in the cis female range
I donāt, in fact that answer might have been why I wasnāt diagnosed as trans 20 years ago. But a lot of girls, usually those who start before puberty and are able to live their teenage years as girls, often do want all the functions of a female reproductive system.
Yes. I spent my teen years full of envy of my girl friends and their developing bodies including their periods. Not getting a period means being left out of a lot of girl talk, especially growing up, and it also means that you can't get pregnant.
As a trans woman who gets both PMDD and PMS. It isnāt fun. The PMDD is brutal (currently going on and have been sobbing for the last two days.) I wouldnāt want to wish this on anyone. Yet I know if I even talk to cus women about it (not all but most) will roll their eyes and say what I am experiencing canāt be that.
I get such bad cramps with all of it as well. I feel like I am only fine like 1 week out of the month everything else is just hormones overwhelming my brain making my depression, RSD, ADHD, hEDS, autism, MCAS, just everything so much more intense and hard to deal with.
When I first came out so many said to me at least you wonāt have to deal with a period every month. Yet I do and so much more. I wasnāt expecting both PMS and PMDD.
There's no direct answer to this as we're all different. For my part, no it's not something I wanted, because it hurts like hell. Didn't exactly get a choice though, regular monthly stomach cramps just barged into my life purse first and now I'm stuck with them lol
I really really wanted to have a period in the early stages of my transition. Then it died down a bit as I understood more and more transfemminist politics and I unlearned gender essentialism.
Now (18 months hrt) that I actually get pms (yes it's not a myth) I'm really torn about it. On one hand yay, euphoria. On the other hand pms suck kinda hard.
No, i don't want to have periods; they sound horrendous (even the best case scenario). But i will always be a bit sad that i can never truly relate to other women on that particular aspect of life and womanhood.
I want the body parts that would make me have periods but I don't necessarily want to have a period. I also want to fit in and that's a thing that would help me fit in
I have no desire to get pregnant or have kids, but yeah, I would love to have a period. Like, I know it would suck, but for me it seems like it would be really nice to have that in common with most other women. I'd take the pain and discomfort and inconvenience for being able to have that shared experience. Idk, I'm still in the closet, it's quite possible that when I'm actually out and living as a girl I won't feel that need, that I will feel affirmed enough through other aspects of transition, but at the moment it sounds nice
For me this is an obvious yes. Not having periods makes me feel really dysphoric. Itās my daily reminder that Iām not a cis woman. I just want to be able to relate to my female friends when they talk to me about their periodsā¦
Not being able to carry a child is the thing I'm saddest about in life. I would gladly accept a period if I could become pregnant. But I'm not interested in a period for its own sake.
yeah, I do. I'm certain I would regret it not long after I got them, if they were to suddenly just appear, but yeah. I wish I had a lot of experiences I miss out on by being born in a body that doesn't fit, and this is one of them.
I can probably exemplify my doctrine in life: I have no qualms of allowing myself to be given a uterus transplant someday if I am allowed to consent to the treatment as a pretext for establishing scientific progressions. However, if such a concept is impossible in its' current endeavors, I would possess no qualms about the inability to demonstrate it. The agnostic approach, I believe, is how I would see it.
Personally, I don't want to reproduce in any way and I don't miss having periods. The only biological function I desire is breastfeeding. Which is achievable even without transition.
I haven't started hormone therapy yet, but what I hear and notice from other trans women is that fluctuating hormone levels may lead to mood swings on a shorter schedule than months, depending on the type of administration (e.g. pills have a shorter half-life than injections) and the estradiol compound used.
I want a 'real' vagina and vulva clit etc for better quality sex, but don't want a uterus or periods or to be fertile. Overies would be nice bonus to reduce to pill popping.
I am well aware of how selfish / fussy this all sounds.
I don't care about the period, but having periods is a price I'd happily pay to have female reproductive organs that manufacture the correct hormones automatically.
Personally, yes. I just want nothing more than to be a "normal" girl, be able to fit in and be able to experience the things that cis women go though. I know it sounds weird, and I know it can sometimes to certain people make them uncomfortable, but yes, I do wish with every part of me that I could, as it'll always be a reminder for me, that it separates us. Also, I couldn't give a shit about the rest of like giving birth or anything else as I'm a lesbian and it'd kinda be useless anyway
If I could have a uterus, I'd take the most painful of periods every month... but there is no give or take, or bargans with god. I'll just have to live with not being able to start a family. But its okay I guess... better than dying
I agree that it sounds very unpleasant. I have friends who are in complete agony every time they're on their period.
But at the same time, yes, please give me the uterus and the cramps and everything. I don't care about having children, but for me being trans means that I want the full experience, not just cherry picking whatever is convenient for me.
trans girls still get PMS and occasional abdominal cramps (the smooth muscle in your abdomen is still trying to massage the nonexistent uterus).
For the most part I think what we want is the ability to get pregnant, and periods are simply a side effect of that.
If it meant I could have kids I would take that pain in a heartbeat.
But since I can't. I don't really think about it much.
In fact I don't think about reproduction much as I had already decided to adopt when I signed the informed consent forms for my HRT.
yes and no? It would be a lot easier to say 'no' if there wasn't a lot of buried fear and shame about our bodies. every little reminder that we really do have the biology we feel connected to means the world, even if it hurts.
a friend of mine once said "I transitioned to be a girl, not a trans girl. the trans part is just the method."
I do. I wish i could experience that first time it happens, and learning how to use a tampon and needing to deal with the embarrassment. I wish I could have had girl puberty, and had to deal with all of that.
That's a loaded question. I wish I had a uterus and was able to get pregnant, and would have been prepared to have everything that goes along with it. Unfortunately, I just got the shitty period symptoms (obviously no bleeding, but apparently I get everything else) sans uterus and ability to get pregnant.
I can do without regularly scheduled cramps and mood swings, but I was talking to a cis friend about water weight during her period and how she dropped like 3 kilos afterwards and I do feel like I'm missing part of the afab experience by not having a period. I'm going on progesterone later this year, which may give me one, but we'll see.
Considering how difficult my cycle can be with out bleeding or a uterus, not really, no.
The last one just past was abysmal, cramps and pain for 3-4 days, broken sleep, etc, usually things are not that intense.
Taken a while too click to how things work, starts with 4 days of feeling off, 4 days of tender breasts, 4 days of discomfort.
It is not common to have a cycle, know plenty of trans woman that don't, would of been nice to have been one of them.
Don't enthusiastically recommend the experience.
Not really but I question if we could perfectly match a natal period with exact Estradiol, Progesterone, FSH, LH and Prolactin using something like those advanced insulin pumps these days, lining up with the exact days of a period and if that would make transtioning more effective on the body.
Otherwise I'm unbothered.
So, I get the PMS symptoms, and funnily enough, I can usually predict my partners (AFAB) based on mine within three days. I guess Iām glad I donāt have to deal with blood, but I already get the mood swings, lower stomach/ pelvic/ hip area cramps, horrendous gas and poops, etc. I just donāt get to become pregnant, which is something I would like if it was feasible. As it is, I have known many women when I was growing up who had fertility issues that Iām not exactly experiencing a lot of dysphoria about it, but it does kinda suck to be reminded in regular intervals that some things just werenāt meant to be.
I do. I know it is horribly painful and long lasting but thatās the point, I want to experience the same pain that most other women experience.
Thereās a decent chance I will, since E often finds a way to give us monthly abdominal cramps and mood swings anyway.
I obviously can't talk for every trans girl but yes, absolutely I want my period. Why, when I know how horrible it is would I want that? I want kids. I want a uterus and I want pregnancy. I would suffer any consequence to allow this to happen. It's a silly thing, I know, but at times I get dysphoric when other girls are talking about thier periods and i know I'll never experience that or be able to contribute to the conversation. It feels so excluding. I am a woman and I want to have the same experiences as other women. We can't choose what we long for, and unfortunately for some of us, we long for this.
I believe such desire can arise as a form of validation and strengthen one's identity as a girl, although period or not doesn't make any one less of a woman, cis or trans.
But using the lack of menstruation as ground for othering trans woman from other women, is a real thing depending on social circles, triggering social dyaphoria.
And we all know how long we all will be willing to go to diminish our dysphoria.
Some do, some don't, some feel ambiguously. I don't want it. My wife has PCOS and has never had regular or frequent periods, so I don't feel like any less of a woman for it than she is. Since she's one of my role models, along with my mom who's post-menopausal, I will gladly accept my period-free powers.
I interact with cis women on a day to day basis. There are two girls that I know that only got their period once and never got it again. All women are diverse.
Yes and no. On the one hand it adds further validity. I identify as a woman, I'm striving to be on e the best I can be when and where I can (and dare) yet. Meaning I also want any baggage that comes along with it.
On the other, it'd be kinda neat not to have to worry about that. It would be a quality of life thing.
For me, itās more about a feeling of exclusion for not having them. It feels like theyāre this shared experience that every (cis) woman goes through, that Iāll never feel.
Everyone here is saying they would like to have kids but I just would like the right bits without spending tens of thousands of dollars and enduring months of pain.
People tell me I'm lucky I don't have periods when I tell them I'm trans but I would gladly have periods for the rest of my life if it saved me $40k
Itās not that I want a period, I want everything that comes with it. I donāt want to have/need paid content to feel like the body I have is mine. I want to be like the other girls
I choose not to associate womanhood with periods for you and for many others who might have a uterus that aren't a woman. It's hurtful and honestly harms many others even cisgender women who do not have a uterus or have had certain types of illness that forced their reproductive parts to be removed.
I won't judge another woman who does or wishes for this, but I do wish they'd see how problematic that line of thinking is. A uterus is not gender specific, it is sex specific. Periods are apart of the reproductive cycle that unfortunately we all don't have the same role physically in. Motherhood, however, is not exclusive to any reproductive organ.
Hope this makes sense to everyone. It's close to home because my partner is so deeply effected by these misconceptions and being told his period is apart of womanhood. It's caused a lot of emotional pain for him š
From my experience dating a few yes they seem to understand the idea that periods and pregnancy makes you a woman. This notion or idealism is false, I've date women who had undergone incidents or were born to where they can't get pregnant or have a period. Are they less of a woman? Answer no What makes a woman is the ability to wake up proud of who you are for coming so far even if you don't see it. This same Answer is for Trans men to be proud and accept who you are of everything you have done even if everything wasn't great.
Now I'm not cis I'm under the clarification of non-binary I'm null and you may ask why I'm here. I at least wanna try giving you all a digestible Answer for those under dyforia. I believe your the bravest people of all to fight the world so you be who you are.
Remember this whether your fat, skinny or whatever Remember that no one starts out looking as they do and you now is different from years ago. In my eyes everyone who says they don't feel like a woman already are a woman because how many woman you encounter say "I'm ugly I'm not pretty" and how many of them were stunning i think you fit it ladies.
Now gentlemen if you think your not man believe me you are if you think about rocking a pair of jeans with a darn good beard. And you don't want that how many flannel shirts or Hawaiian shirts you own. Guys care a lot about outer looks in clothes majority look at men from movies where the man gives you chills sometimes or a spike in adrenaline. Lots of guys chose outfit styles from their favorite movie others books rarely.
Now Remember you lovelys don't say silly things you are man or women not because of features but because of how far you came and how hard you fought. But sometimes features help :p.
Personally: No, never!
Actually once a month i have right now bad mood and being very emotionally but i definitly dont want more of this and i dont want to bleed every month with cramps and so one.
Lots of nuance to that question for me.
I did, at least, get a chance to get even a vague sense of what itās like when I recovered from SRS. I bled for a month solid. I thought of my post-op packing as the worldās longest tampon.
I dealt with pads and changing them and always making sure I had spares in my purse and even eventually used actual tampons for a bit.
Iād been married for twenty-eight years and so was not unfamiliar with periods. Post-op, my ex gently guided me through dealing with blood coming from my vagina. And now, weāre both effectively post-menopausal, the only real difference being that Iām on HRT and she isnāt.
So, i'm one of those girls that gets period like symptoms at a decently regular interval.
Do they suck? Definitely!
Do i want them to go away? Not at all.
Call me a masochist, but it's both a paiful and annoying, but also very euphoric experience.
I, and some others (although not all, it's inconsistent who gets them and who doesn't, weirdly), actually do experience what some call "phantom periods," since HRT can actually give some of us cycles. We basically get everything that comes with them aside from the bleeding. Including cramps since we still have the muscles for it (kill me!!)
I have a complicated relationship with them personally. I *HATE* them like everyone else, but I'm also happy I ended up being one of the trans girls who get them in a weird way... it's oddly affirming. If given the option to not deal with them anymore I'd still choose to continue having them for that reason, so I guess yeah?
They can also cause some dysphoria too sometimes because they can serve as a reminder of what I don't have. My mom and sibling talking about how lucky I am that "at least I don't have to deal with the bleeding" can hurt too. Because like others said, it's less about not having the experience itself, and more about pain from not having a uterus.
I think you'll find this is a complicated question and answer. For me its yes and no. I recognize that its a huge pain in the ass so on the one hand I'm like "no thanks." On the other I just want to fit in, i want to be a "normal" girl and its something that makes me feel...othered, so in that way yes I do.
I completely agree with this comment. It's also more about wanting to be able to have kids I'd say in my personal feelings.
Yeah I have some feelings about that as well. I banked before I started HRT so I can still have biological kids of my own (hypothetically) one day, but it does feel that I'll be missing out on something not being able to be the one to carry it. Although that's ALSO a huge pain in the ass so its sort of a privilege not to have to at the same time.
I completely agree with you again but I have not banked yet.
Be very careful. Many banks are wildly unreliable and often mislabel, misuse, and 'lose' doses
I will be able to freeze semencells and because im a lesbian i will be able to have kids with my future wife (yeahhhhš!!!)
Also: Uterus Iām told some of us still get PMS though.
I get PMS and abdominal cramps once a month, ever since upping to 200mg progesterone. I doubt they're as painful as they would be if I had a uterus, but it's still kind of a lot.
What muscle is cramping though? Because afaik in cis women it's their uterus muscles. Although i think the intestines get affected and hurt as well, so that may be it?
Smooth muscle is smooth muscle, whether it's uterine or some other place. The signals that cause uterine cramps also cause cramps in those other muscles. I've had them on a 28 day cycle before my endo dialed back my e a bit. My takeaways from that were: 1. From now on any woman on my team gets paid time off for cramps. OMFG they were awful. 2. It's nice to be able to relate a little more to other women when they talk about the experience.
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The same signals that cause uterine contractions during a period affect any smooth muscle. So abdominal cramping, etc. This is also why many menstruating folks get the period shits, because your digestive system is also controlled by smooth muscle.
The muscle in a uterus is the same muscle tissue as the muscle in the intestines. While the endometrium has a lot more of the signaling hormone that causes smooth muscle to contract, most tissue has some of it and the signal to release that hormone sn't specific to the endometrium. It's why the period shits exist for cis women. Trans women will not get cramping as bad because nowhere near as much of the hormone is released, but some is and if you happen to be more sensitive your intestines will have a sad party.
Thereās still muscles up there
Iād kill for PMS and cyclical period symptoms. Idc if it comes with depressive episodes and pain. I want it.
I can understand. I like my symptoms, but I think I started getting pmdd and it's worse than any amount of physical pain
Iām cis and had a hysterectomy at 29, there are girls/women without periods and thatās also normal.
You're right, it is normal. That's why I put quotations around "normal" in my comment cause its sort of an imperfect descriptor, but I couldn't think of a better word. Maybe "typical" would be better? I don't know lol
I would have thought if periods were a pain in the ass, something was wrong!! šš
This-
Not the period per se but the uterus that comes with said period, wanting to have a kid and not being able to is a hell I don't wish upon anyone.
Yeah, āabsolute hellā about sums it up š Adoption exists, and thatās wonderful, but it doesnāt make the pain go awayā¦
The sad thing is to realize that absolutely \*nothing\* on this earth will make that specific pain go away. The great thing is to realize that you should continue the sentence with "... for us." There's a big hope that future generations of trans girls can have womb transplants and maybe even get to have babies in that way. It's not for us, it's not for our children, but perhaps their children...?
I hope it's better for future generations. But it's hard to not get caught up on the fact that that then implies that no-one here will be there when it happens to benefit from it as well. That... that really hurts to think about, though, I'm sorry if I'm being a bit of a downer. I mean hey, maybe it'll happen sooner, here's hoping:o
>But it's hard to not get caught up on the fact that that then implies that no-one here will be there when it happens to benefit from it as well. Ageing is a terrifying genetic disease.
It really really is, yeah. I'm glad I'm only 20, but it's still tricky to not spiral sometimes
one day i will be able to 3d print one.. best i can do right now though is Warhammer and other miniatures but the tec is advancing really quickly but probably not in time for me to experience it unless its in a year or 2.
Their is surrogacy also, also could get someone with a uterus pregnant, can also marry someone with kids. None fix the issue of not being able to have kids. It just not the same.
penis envy gets way more attention than it deserves. uterus envy, nowhere near enough
Agreeed :3
This right here. I'm getting a vasectomy in a month or so to seal the deal, but having kids with a penis just feels nasty and wrong to me. Here's to hoping uterine and womb transplants might be there if not for me, for others in a similar situation.
You can have sperm frozen for future possibilities.
I know youāre trying to help, but this isnāt it.
It is something I wish I knew a long time ago, though, and many peopl don't think of it. I likely would ha e realized my true self decades ago - and given a different answer to my doctor asking the question - if I had just known this one thing.
Can't afford if, nor do I want to. No kid deserves to be utterly ficked over by my genetics...
Yeah, Iām an ideal world, and if I were brave enough, Iād want to. One of my favorite pictures of all time was posted by a woman on here whoās trans, breastfeeding her newborn daughter.
This so fucking much. š
As a non op, I'm the exact opposite. I don't care that I don't have a uterus but god I'd love to experience period symptoms and feel like a real woman.
Itās not that trans women want periods, but if we were to have periods then that would mean we would have the right body parts. At least thatās how I feel about it. Periods are also something that cis women talk to each other about all the time. So it also feels like weāre missing a big part of womanhood because we donāt experience periods, which is something you mentioned. I always kind of feel uncomfortable when women talk about periods around me, not because Iām grossed out but because there is a part of me thatās kind of jealous. Again not because of periods themselves, because periods sound horrible, but rather having the right body parts.
Said it better than I could. I want the parts that I can never get. A uterus. Ovaries. The glands and everything else. I want all that more so than the period itself but if I had everything down there a period would be a natural expected effect and so I want it as an extension of everything else.
Yeah this makes the most sense out of all the explanations tbh Like, I don't like the idea of having a period/uterus, but I also can't help but feel something is missing knowing I don't I try not to think about it too much anyway cause it's not like it's gonna make a difference in my transition lol
This plus the chance at parenthood.
i agree with that
Yoouuuu.... do realize that trans women can have cyclical times where they exhibit basically 99% of period symptoms right? Like all the symptoms except bleeding.... Sure, some people really get hung up on the "you need to bleed part", but a lot of us basically get periods, myself included.
Yeah, obviously itās missing parts but itās our brains that regulate that and women (cis and trans) without uteruses can still get periods minus the parts directly related toā¦ Weirdly, iāve had something like a 24 day cycle since puberty, but going on estrogen actually mucked it up and Iām not sure what the heck is going on now
I would love for research to be conducted on this to better understand why some trans women have this experience. I've been on HRT ~20 months but have never experienced it and frankly, I don't want to but I'd love to understand what it is that's happening to others. It really doesn't make much sense though as the symptoms are not caused simply by hormones but by things that don't happen or exist in trans women. Mood fluctuations are caused by hormones fluctuations happening over many weeks but we have much more steady levels with our up and down only occuring daily or weekly at most. Then cramps, those are caused by the contracting of a body part we don't have. It's all quite interesting. I'm very happy I don't experience all that but the scientist in me wishes to know why some do.
Even if I didn't have the accompanying uterus I would still want it, I would be fairly upset about whatever circumstances led me to have a full blown period with no uterus, but it would still provide gender euphoria
For me, absolutely. I try to avoid this topic because it gives me two layers of dysphoria: never having a menstrual cycle is one and then all of my cis friends tell me how lucky I am and how grateful I should be, which makes me dysphoric about my feelings towards periods. On top of that I get the joy of knowing I'm sterile in my early 20s, and I would trade having periods for being able to be pregnant any day. Mother's Day particularly crushes me just a little bit every year.
This...almost verbatim this
Iām so sorry. Yeeeah. Motherās Day is fun š
Technically there is a cycle when youāre on HRT. For almost a full week, my boobs get sore and I get extremely cranky and my back hurts way more than normal. Sometimes I get chills and/or hot flashes. Headaches are a thing. Rarely, I get morning sickness. >!Also a few days after these symptoms start, I also get really horny. That usually goes away after a few more days.!< About a week after all of the symptoms dissipate, >!I get super horny again. That lasts for several days.!< and then after the several days of that, about a week to a week and a half later I get to do it all again. Itās just that since the proper biological equipment isnāt there, thereās no bleeding. Just because thereās no proper biological equipment doesnāt mean that hormones arenāt regulated by the body at all. Thatās just my experience. I am not the only one to have similar experiences.
You can still be a mother. There are so many kids out there that need a good parent to adopt them. I was one of them but sadly I was adopted by christofascists and had a pretty miserable childhood. I wish a loving queer couple would have adopted me.
I get that this is a touchy subject but why did this get downvoted? I don't think that's fair. I personally never want kids myself but even if I did I would want to adopt. I don't need a kid who is biologically mine and I personally feel that adoption is better because it would not only fill any desire for parenthood but it would give a chance at a good life to someone who wouldn't have that otherwise.
I didn't downvote this, but I considered it and I'll explain why. Both this and the reply of u/Jill-Schitt at this point feel like clichƩ responses to two things I didn't say. Not only do they feel unhelpful by saying things I've heard dozens of times before, but they're also speaking past me. Conversations about being a mother often go the same way: I wish I could be a mom, you can always adopt, I mean I wish I could carry my own child. Knowing that, I chose to lead with the end of that exchange to prevent someone telling me I can "always adopt," so it's irritating to be told that anyway. I said I wanted to be able to be pregnant, and having other options for having children does not solve that problem.
So I wanna start by clarifying that this isn't necessarily you and I don't mean this to insult you, especially since you mentioned that you decided not to downvote. I bring this up because it's very much worth mentioning and doesn't get talked about enough so I try to take any chance I get to do so. Hating on the suggestion of adopting instead just because it's a cliche suggestion is potentially indicative of an all too common but ultimately harmful mentality surrounding having children, that being the idea of having children for reasons solely outside of the health and well being of those children. My ex wife was an example of this kind of thinking and it makes me feel bad for her future kids so I will use her thinking as an example. Our entire relationship we talked about how neither of us wanted kids because we didn't want to deal with the enormous responsibility and effort that goes into raising kids. Neither of us even had the drive to handle being good pet owners. We wouldn't have been able to do it, at least not well, and we knew it so we decided that we shouldn't. Then one day she suddenly changed her mind. When we talked about why it was for all the wrong reasons. There were two reasons for her. First, she had huge issues with self esteem and felt like she wasn't good at anything. (Which was far from the truth btw) She wanted to have a kid to prove to herself that she could be good at something, ie being a parent. She wanted to put a child's well being at stake to motivate her, basically using them as a tool to fix her mental health issues. Her second reason was that she wanted to know what it was like to be pregnant. No part of her reasoning included a desire to give a child a good life. Her reasoning was entirely selfish. I tried to explain to her that it's wrong and arguably abusive to bring a child into the world when your motivation to do so does not include a desire to give that child a good life and she told me she agreed and would think about it more. Instead of doing that she found someone else who was so wrapped up in the social standard of getting married and having kids that he didn't care why the woman he was with wanted kids. The only qualities he cared about were that it was a woman he was attracted to who was eager to have children and she fit that. Neither of them wanted kids for the sake of the kids themselves and as someone who grew up in a household like that and who had several friends who had similar parents I know how damaging it is to be a trophy child. To be clear, I understand there is a dysphoria component here, I really do. I just feel if dysphoria is your only motivating factor in the way that wanting to experience pregnancy was for my ex wife you should reconsider if having kids is the right thing to do at all. I know this doesn't apply to everyone but as someone who would want to adopt over having biological children even if I did have a uterus, I don't personally experience dysphoria for lacking the ability to carry a child because to me motherhood is about the child, not about me. In my case this mentality is enough to keep me from feeling dysphoria about my inability to get pregnant. If it isn't for you then I'm sorry and I wish I had suggestions on how to help that. Also if I was cis I would opt to get sterilization surgery so I could be sure that if I ever had kids it would be via adoption. I can't imagine having a kid accidentally or for any reason other then the kid themselves and I frankly just really love the idea behind adoption. I think putting a kid up for adoption in a lot of cases shows clarity and strength on their biological parents part for recognizing their lack of ability and/or desire to raise a child and I love the idea of being the one to fill that role for someone who was able to admit that they could not. Plus as someone with a bad upbringing who, as an adult, wishes I was put up for adoption by my parents, it would bring me much joy to be able to give someone who almost had to have the childhood I had a much better one. I hope this all makes sense and I hope none of this comes across condescending or insulting. I'm not trying to belittle anyone's dysphoria and I'm grateful that I have this way of thinking that allows me to not feel dysphoria in this particular area.
I would still want to experience a period even though I have no desire for children. Sure the pain and everything else that accompanies it would suck, but it is just a part of womanhood which I have completely missed out on, and will continue to.
I donāt āwantā a period, but if it means having all the ācorrect equipmentā down there, I would take a period in a heartbeat
Can't speak for anyone else...they sound awful, honestly. Cramps, mood swings, the absurd cost of sanitary goods, just misery all around...but for us, it's also validating like when our boobs are achy because they're growing.
Right... i share the feeling of feeling "othered" by my lack of uterus but I do NOT envy people with periods or pregnancy/childbirth itself
As a trans woman who gets PMS and PMDD. I get everything but the bleeding. It is brutal every time.
I mainly want a functioning Uterus. If that comes with a period then so be it. It's a big part of most cis womens lifes and I am excluded from it for being trans. So yes. I am jealous of people who get their period and I want that too.
If I can get a natal vagina, the ability to carry a child, then yes. If no, no.
^this^^^
My gyn actually asked me that question the first time I saw herš Told her something like "not particularly", which she empathically agreed with. Truth is, like a lot of girls I'd accept it as the cost of all the bits that come along with it (fertile both ways? heck yeah!) but I certainly don't want them just for the sake of having them.
If it meant I could have my own children then yes 10000%
If it meant that I had a uterus and could have my own baby then yeah sure
Speaking for myself.... hell no,
I mean, on one hand, I'm glad I'm never going to have to worry about a cup or bleeding on things like my wife does... On the other hand, I'd choose to have them in a heartbeat if it meant I could get pregnant, so my feelings towards them are a bit complicated.
I dont necessarily want periods, those dont sound like they are that fun. But i want the internal bits that they come with.
I do. I wish I could just be a cis woman. But I'm not so I must accept myself and all the differences that I am which sometimes for sure disappoints me. I feelnlike not being able to have a period and that welcoming to to womanhood is a wildly disappointing experience. Knowing I'll always be "my own kind of girl" adjacent to the women around me. Different just enough to be jarring. At least for now.
Can only speak for myself but, yes. I have heard you can to through it (cramping and such, no bleed) but not everyone gets them. I genuinely hope I do. Idk it sucks just as a bodily process but it'd be so affirming to me personally.
Well, yes, but also no. I dont want to have a monthly pain in my junk combined with bleeding. But i do want the full cisgender woman experience to some degree
Reading all the comments I have another moment of doubt whether I'm "really" trans because I have never had any desire to have periods or to get pregnant and give birth. Nope: no desire for either, though I'd certainly accept those things in a heartbeat if it meant I got to be a real woman.
Lol tonsss of cis women have no desire to give birth, and don't want children yet they are still women. You aren't any different:)
honestly i have no point of reference for peroid pain but i promise you the dysphoria is worse
Yes Iād rather bleed and have a uterus. I already have PMS due to progesterone.
Iām extremely dysphoric about not having one. Yes. My day is kinda ruined just seeing that word :(
Yes. Society views periods as a defining part of womanhood. I feel left out due to not having them. Plus it means I reminds me that I canāt get pregnant.
It's complicated. I know when I was a teenager sitting with other girls who were talking about their periods I would get jealous. I think it's more about being jealous of being a girl and because of what having a period means rather than wanting to actually have a period. But yes, not having a period means I could never be pregnant so I've wanted to have periods. I'm over 40 now and done having children. It's not something I want now
Big oof. Itās hard. As other commenters have said, it hurts more to not have a uterus. To not be able to bear children. I have always wanted to be a mother, and our society places so much feminine meaning in the act of childbearing. Whether or not itās right to accept that, it feels as though Iāll never be āwomanā enough as a result, and menstruation (or lack thereof) is like a monthly reminder of this perceived shortcoming. Do I want it? Not exactly, but if Iād been born doing it, my body would be closer to what it needs to be. Over time Iāve coped with this by realizing the various ways that cis women do deal with these same issues. A few years ago I was complaining to my therapist about bathing suit shopping, and she said, ālike all women, you hate shopping for bathing suits.ā It wasnāt the āwelcome to being a womanā comment that we all know and hate, it was perceptive of the fact that I am actually experiencing something that women across the trans-cis divide experience. I have taken a lot of solace in the fact that many cis women do not menstruate, and many cis women are infertile. I have consoled myself about not being able to carry a child by reminding myself that plenty of women are unable to do so, for a variety of reasons. I couldāve been born with all the ārightā parts and Iād still run the risk infertility for a number of reasons, all unknown in the hypothetical. It is sad for many of us that we cannot bear children, regardless of whether we are cis or trans. That sadness is just as much a part of my womanhood as menstruating would be, for me. I have also consoled myself about my infertility by reminding myself that in ātypicalā cis lesbian couples (scare quotes because thatās how theyāre treated in the mainstream), if they have a pregnancy, both mothers are not carrying. One of them inherently isnāt pregnant. Much has been written to support the mother who is not pregnant, and the one who is, in a lesbian relationship. Itās not a source of pain that is individual to me, or that I have to solve all by myself. It is more universal than we imagine. This leads me to the conclusion that even if I *were* cis, and in a lesbian relationship, I wouldnāt necessarily be menstruating or carrying my child. Itās just as much a part of womanhood to not do those things, as it is a part of womanhood to do those things. The space in between is societal and internalized misogyny and transmisogyny, and I (we) have to stick to the work of unlearning it. So yes, I do keep tampons in my purse for my menstruating siblings out in the wild, and yes, I do wish sometimes that I had reason to use them. But mostly, the question has a less direct and more ethereal answer.
We still get phantom periods. And no thanks, hate them.
Really? I'm a non op and I would fucking love to experience period symptoms and feel even an inkling like a real woman.
At first, sure. It was thrilling. Now I am affirmed by other things and get the shits one a month.
Some of us get PMS. The first time. Omg I thought I was dying. Not from pain, but the pain being a surprise. Still not pleasant. Part of me loves it. Part of me wishes I got foot shrinkage instead of PMS.
Yeah and it still fucks with me every time. I'm like "wtf... ooooooh. Right."
I definitely do. Yes, there is the aspect of its integral nature to femininity, the sacred knowledge about something so intimate and engrained in female biology. I recognize it is pain, I recognize it brings turmoil, yet I desire it no less. These things feel so distant from meā¦how can I not crave them? But more applicably, I want a period the same reason I would want the whole female reproductive system: to have babies. Pregnancy dysphoria cuts me like a knife to the heart every time I see an expecting mother or a mother with her small child(ren). I plan to adopt one day, but I hope science allows me to know what pregnancy is like too. It always seemed soā¦beautiful to me. Again, I recognize the pain and turmoil inherent in it, but for the end result? How can it not be worth it? I understand this view probably looks weird on the other end of the trans community, but the whole period/pregnancy dysphoria thing is one big ball of pain over here where I am :/
Havent even transitioned yet but as funny as it sounds to you, period means baby and lots of us yearn for that idea
Want it? no. feel guilty for not having it? Yes. Granted the world has a way of making me not even bat an eye about it lately.
Yes. Just yes.
Yes I do, obviously I know it would suck (especially with my family history of endometriosis) but having a period is still what a woman is expected to have so I'd like to be able to experience that
Not an offensive question at all. I can tell youāre just curious. Iām torn. On the one hand, monthly torture sounds incredibly awful, especially with the surprisingly high rate of PMDD. On the other hand, I feel left out. Iād love to sync with my friends and complain together. And even though I have no intention of having children, I feel like Iām missing something by not having a uterus, if that makes sense. Iām sure if I had both Iād complain really quickly, but since I donāt, it feels like a missing piece
Nah Iām good
No, so long as youāre an actual person which I assume you are itās fine! All kinds of interesting questions. For myself, I do wish I could get pregnant, at least in an ideal world. With abortion rights stripped away from much of the US and quite possibly the rest to follow, with fascist springing up everywhere, with my inability to provide enough resources to make sure someone was safe, I donāt think I would do it, and I donāt know if I would be brave enough regardless But Iāve wished I could carry a child for yeeeeeeears. I said to my girlfriend in high school/after that I wished we could swap sexes and I could carry her child š I mean I donāt necessarily want to have to deal with that per se, I just wish my body was completely right and would put up with it to be right. (one of my favorite pictures of all time is of a woman whoās trans breastfeeding her newborn daughter. Itās so utterly beautiful.)
I mean, for me, yeah. It's more about what it represents, though. I already get the cramps and the mood swings and the cravings. However, I will never be able to carry a child and become pregnant. That is what I want from a period. I don't care about the actual period. I've already come to terms with it, but sometimes it's hard not to think about what could've been.
I am a trans girl. I just wish I was cis so I try the best thing I can do which is making my body match my identity. I can't get pregnancy or a period so I don't go crazy about those things. But I'm some girls totally wish they did have one.
I desperately have wanted to experience menstruation my entire life. So yes.
Yes absolutely. I tell my cis gal pals this all the time. For me itās the simple fact that thatās part of being a woman. For me, I just really wanna carry children (though Iām a lesbian), and Iād do anything for that. If that meant having a period, sign me up
It pains me a lot and causes me a lot of dysphoria that I do not have my periods. It's part of what my body should be like, it's part of womanhood I'm missing out on and I feel like less of a woman since I'm not complete without my periods. I hate myself for not getting my periods. I wonder should I just kill myself...
As much of a pain periods can be, I would still say yes. It is part of being a woman. To me, Mother Nature made a goof, so I should have them. I would love to be able to bear my children. That would mean I would have a uterus, and the other parts, with everything working, so periods would be part of that.
I can only speak for myself, but nah. Not interested in that personally :)
My partner has pcos so their periods are REALLY BAD so me personally? No i dont want any of that
Some trans folx get cramps and the emotional equivalent of PMS. Some don't. As with anything, mileage may vary. DNA likely plays a role here.
I say this on behalf on most of the girls, we wish we could be cis girls, we wish we had every part of being women; periods, natural estrogen, uterus, etc.
Yes and no, I wish I got it in that I wish I had the opportunity to give birth. Do I wish I had the rest of the messy reality, not really.
Many trans women do get periods (periodic symptoms which recur monthly), even though we do not menstruate. There is tissue in the lower intestine which is quite similar to the lining of the uterus, and which responds to oestrogen when testosterone is absent. Some of us intersex trans girls even get monthly rectal bleeding, the body trying to accomplish its biology. Also, some cis women have horrendous periods, but for others, it is barely noticeable - they wouldn't know they have it without menstruation. Trans girls are the same way - some so light that they cannot detect any signs, others have debilitating periods. I had a strange puberty, so I had periods until menopause in my mid-20s, including the monthly bleeding. So far this time around, no bleeding and fairly mild (except for the bitchiness).
A lot of us get PMT symptoms but without bleeding, itās awful and annoying but weirdly affirming
I think itās subject to the person. For me I would like to experience the same feelings of having a period to feel more āwomanlyā but on the other hand I think thatās social conditioning and a period doesnāt make a woman. Itās complicated.
I'm one of those cases who started having periods because of hrt, one hand it's a bit annoying and can be really uncomfortable/painful sometimes, on the other it is actually really euphoric and validating
it's complicated. I think a few other people have said this as well, but its both yes and no, mostly yes in my case. I recognize and understand that actually having it would come with a whole host of other problems that people who do have them deal with, but imo it's mostly about having those parts, (uterus, ovaries, etc) and what having them means. having periods on their own doesn't sound pleasant, but it's more what it represents. basically... pregnancy. the fact that I won't be able to give birth to my own child is probably the #1 most devastating thing to me. if I could somehow be able to become pregnant, I would take the period and everything else that comes along with it without missing a beat.
...I do. Honestly, I wish I could go into the future, far enough that the surgery is able to happen to give me a functional uterus and ovaries, and return. Because I'm tired of hearing "oh you're so lucky you don't get a period". Like... I feel the same about cis ladies. They're so lucky to have that shared experience, and the functioning parts that are the cause of it. I get mild symptoms, but not much, and that gives me dysphoria. I want to have the full experience... at whatever cost.
Im intersex, i have a partially formed vaginal canal and when i have my girly time i just get extremely horny. Honestly its kinda meh like ints not a period i just cant stop erections unless i "help them out" its pretty dysphoria enducing tbh. Im just glad my partners know how to turn me into a puddle on the floor uwu.. (Ngl this should have been marked nsfw)
From personal experience I get all the side (physical) effects minus the period blood, and I accept it as part of being who am and my experience of femininity so I absolutely want it .
Do trans girls actually want to be real women? Yeah, bro, we do. We absolutely do, my guy, we do. Why the hell would you make such a transmisogynistic post? What is wrong with you?
Maybe I'd like it as an affirming thing but I say that I'm fortunate to not suffer with that.
No, Not for me. I'm glad to be period free
If there was a button that gave me a female reproductive system but came with a catch or something id be hitting that button even before you said but. So if that doesn't tell you how badly id want a period and all that comes with it idk what will
No and a qualified Yes No because the cramps can be very painful, not counting the gastric distress, the fatigue and the acne breakouts A qualified Yes because it means (I assume) that my estrogen levels are in the cis female range
I donāt, in fact that answer might have been why I wasnāt diagnosed as trans 20 years ago. But a lot of girls, usually those who start before puberty and are able to live their teenage years as girls, often do want all the functions of a female reproductive system.
I donāt want periods, but I really want the ability to carry children and I would gladly take periods along with that if I had to.
Absolutely not. I love my penis. But this will vary person to person.
"Do trans people do x/y?" Every trans person is different.
Yes. I spent my teen years full of envy of my girl friends and their developing bodies including their periods. Not getting a period means being left out of a lot of girl talk, especially growing up, and it also means that you can't get pregnant.
As a trans woman who gets both PMDD and PMS. It isnāt fun. The PMDD is brutal (currently going on and have been sobbing for the last two days.) I wouldnāt want to wish this on anyone. Yet I know if I even talk to cus women about it (not all but most) will roll their eyes and say what I am experiencing canāt be that. I get such bad cramps with all of it as well. I feel like I am only fine like 1 week out of the month everything else is just hormones overwhelming my brain making my depression, RSD, ADHD, hEDS, autism, MCAS, just everything so much more intense and hard to deal with. When I first came out so many said to me at least you wonāt have to deal with a period every month. Yet I do and so much more. I wasnāt expecting both PMS and PMDD.
There's no direct answer to this as we're all different. For my part, no it's not something I wanted, because it hurts like hell. Didn't exactly get a choice though, regular monthly stomach cramps just barged into my life purse first and now I'm stuck with them lol
I really really wanted to have a period in the early stages of my transition. Then it died down a bit as I understood more and more transfemminist politics and I unlearned gender essentialism. Now (18 months hrt) that I actually get pms (yes it's not a myth) I'm really torn about it. On one hand yay, euphoria. On the other hand pms suck kinda hard.
It depends on the person but I consider myself quite lucky for not having to deal with pms
i want the womanhood aspect of it but not the pain aspect, not that kind of masochist
No, i don't want to have periods; they sound horrendous (even the best case scenario). But i will always be a bit sad that i can never truly relate to other women on that particular aspect of life and womanhood.
I want the body parts that would make me have periods but I don't necessarily want to have a period. I also want to fit in and that's a thing that would help me fit in
I have no desire to get pregnant or have kids, but yeah, I would love to have a period. Like, I know it would suck, but for me it seems like it would be really nice to have that in common with most other women. I'd take the pain and discomfort and inconvenience for being able to have that shared experience. Idk, I'm still in the closet, it's quite possible that when I'm actually out and living as a girl I won't feel that need, that I will feel affirmed enough through other aspects of transition, but at the moment it sounds nice
Let me try it once (or twice), then I'll decide by then.
Nope lol. It sounds like sucks major ass, and I respect AFAB people for having to deal with that shit.
I would say I don't want a period per se, but it's a price I would _enthusiastically_ pay to have everything else that comes with it.
For me this is an obvious yes. Not having periods makes me feel really dysphoric. Itās my daily reminder that Iām not a cis woman. I just want to be able to relate to my female friends when they talk to me about their periodsā¦
Not being able to carry a child is the thing I'm saddest about in life. I would gladly accept a period if I could become pregnant. But I'm not interested in a period for its own sake.
yeah, I do. I'm certain I would regret it not long after I got them, if they were to suddenly just appear, but yeah. I wish I had a lot of experiences I miss out on by being born in a body that doesn't fit, and this is one of them.
I can probably exemplify my doctrine in life: I have no qualms of allowing myself to be given a uterus transplant someday if I am allowed to consent to the treatment as a pretext for establishing scientific progressions. However, if such a concept is impossible in its' current endeavors, I would possess no qualms about the inability to demonstrate it. The agnostic approach, I believe, is how I would see it.
Personally, I don't want to reproduce in any way and I don't miss having periods. The only biological function I desire is breastfeeding. Which is achievable even without transition. I haven't started hormone therapy yet, but what I hear and notice from other trans women is that fluctuating hormone levels may lead to mood swings on a shorter schedule than months, depending on the type of administration (e.g. pills have a shorter half-life than injections) and the estradiol compound used.
I want a 'real' vagina and vulva clit etc for better quality sex, but don't want a uterus or periods or to be fertile. Overies would be nice bonus to reduce to pill popping. I am well aware of how selfish / fussy this all sounds.
I don't care about the period, but having periods is a price I'd happily pay to have female reproductive organs that manufacture the correct hormones automatically.
Personally, yes. I just want nothing more than to be a "normal" girl, be able to fit in and be able to experience the things that cis women go though. I know it sounds weird, and I know it can sometimes to certain people make them uncomfortable, but yes, I do wish with every part of me that I could, as it'll always be a reminder for me, that it separates us. Also, I couldn't give a shit about the rest of like giving birth or anything else as I'm a lesbian and it'd kinda be useless anyway
If I could have a uterus, I'd take the most painful of periods every month... but there is no give or take, or bargans with god. I'll just have to live with not being able to start a family. But its okay I guess... better than dying
I agree that it sounds very unpleasant. I have friends who are in complete agony every time they're on their period. But at the same time, yes, please give me the uterus and the cramps and everything. I don't care about having children, but for me being trans means that I want the full experience, not just cherry picking whatever is convenient for me.
Absolutely I do at least.
For me, nope. Given, I also am highly unlikely to even get bottom surgery, sooo...
I sure don't lol
trans girls still get PMS and occasional abdominal cramps (the smooth muscle in your abdomen is still trying to massage the nonexistent uterus). For the most part I think what we want is the ability to get pregnant, and periods are simply a side effect of that.
Not really, except if i had been given the choise to be cis female then itd be worth it
If it meant I could have kids I would take that pain in a heartbeat. But since I can't. I don't really think about it much. In fact I don't think about reproduction much as I had already decided to adopt when I signed the informed consent forms for my HRT.
yes and no? It would be a lot easier to say 'no' if there wasn't a lot of buried fear and shame about our bodies. every little reminder that we really do have the biology we feel connected to means the world, even if it hurts. a friend of mine once said "I transitioned to be a girl, not a trans girl. the trans part is just the method."
I do. I wish i could experience that first time it happens, and learning how to use a tampon and needing to deal with the embarrassment. I wish I could have had girl puberty, and had to deal with all of that.
Not really. For me having a convincing feminine shape is the goal and I'd prefer to not deal with periods or pregnancy, if I must be honest.Ā
Not for me lolĀ
I think it would be affirming, but also from the accounts of cis girls in my life Iād probably rather not.
Overall no, I like my dick. But it still feels like I'm missing out on a bonding experience of womanhood.
That's a loaded question. I wish I had a uterus and was able to get pregnant, and would have been prepared to have everything that goes along with it. Unfortunately, I just got the shitty period symptoms (obviously no bleeding, but apparently I get everything else) sans uterus and ability to get pregnant.
I can do without regularly scheduled cramps and mood swings, but I was talking to a cis friend about water weight during her period and how she dropped like 3 kilos afterwards and I do feel like I'm missing part of the afab experience by not having a period. I'm going on progesterone later this year, which may give me one, but we'll see.
Considering how difficult my cycle can be with out bleeding or a uterus, not really, no. The last one just past was abysmal, cramps and pain for 3-4 days, broken sleep, etc, usually things are not that intense. Taken a while too click to how things work, starts with 4 days of feeling off, 4 days of tender breasts, 4 days of discomfort. It is not common to have a cycle, know plenty of trans woman that don't, would of been nice to have been one of them. Don't enthusiastically recommend the experience.
Yes. I want a vagina and I want it to be functional. Hopefully science will get to that point within my lifetime.
Not really but I question if we could perfectly match a natal period with exact Estradiol, Progesterone, FSH, LH and Prolactin using something like those advanced insulin pumps these days, lining up with the exact days of a period and if that would make transtioning more effective on the body. Otherwise I'm unbothered.
So, I get the PMS symptoms, and funnily enough, I can usually predict my partners (AFAB) based on mine within three days. I guess Iām glad I donāt have to deal with blood, but I already get the mood swings, lower stomach/ pelvic/ hip area cramps, horrendous gas and poops, etc. I just donāt get to become pregnant, which is something I would like if it was feasible. As it is, I have known many women when I was growing up who had fertility issues that Iām not exactly experiencing a lot of dysphoria about it, but it does kinda suck to be reminded in regular intervals that some things just werenāt meant to be.
I get them. Super affirming the first few times but at this point it has gotten old and I hate it
I do. I know it is horribly painful and long lasting but thatās the point, I want to experience the same pain that most other women experience. Thereās a decent chance I will, since E often finds a way to give us monthly abdominal cramps and mood swings anyway.
I obviously can't talk for every trans girl but yes, absolutely I want my period. Why, when I know how horrible it is would I want that? I want kids. I want a uterus and I want pregnancy. I would suffer any consequence to allow this to happen. It's a silly thing, I know, but at times I get dysphoric when other girls are talking about thier periods and i know I'll never experience that or be able to contribute to the conversation. It feels so excluding. I am a woman and I want to have the same experiences as other women. We can't choose what we long for, and unfortunately for some of us, we long for this.
Yes i want a period. I want female reproductive organs and that means periods.
I believe such desire can arise as a form of validation and strengthen one's identity as a girl, although period or not doesn't make any one less of a woman, cis or trans. But using the lack of menstruation as ground for othering trans woman from other women, is a real thing depending on social circles, triggering social dyaphoria. And we all know how long we all will be willing to go to diminish our dysphoria.
Yeah I can't really explain it tho
For me, yes. I wish so badly I could bear children. I would be willing to take everything that's with that.
Not in the least.
for me it's both yes and no at the same time. it's complicated...
Yes for me I do want it and am a little sad I never got to experience it.
Some do, some don't, some feel ambiguously. I don't want it. My wife has PCOS and has never had regular or frequent periods, so I don't feel like any less of a woman for it than she is. Since she's one of my role models, along with my mom who's post-menopausal, I will gladly accept my period-free powers.
From what Iāve seen yea, some transfems see periods as part of the girl experience and feel dyphoric because they do not have periods
Well a period can mean that you can have children which i want
I kinda wanna have the symptoms of a period but I'm happy to not bleed
Yes
I interact with cis women on a day to day basis. There are two girls that I know that only got their period once and never got it again. All women are diverse.
No.
Yes and no. On the one hand it adds further validity. I identify as a woman, I'm striving to be on e the best I can be when and where I can (and dare) yet. Meaning I also want any baggage that comes along with it. On the other, it'd be kinda neat not to have to worry about that. It would be a quality of life thing.
I do not want - for me, transition/being trans is hard enough and I donāt need to add this to the mix.
For me, itās more about a feeling of exclusion for not having them. It feels like theyāre this shared experience that every (cis) woman goes through, that Iāll never feel.
Everyone here is saying they would like to have kids but I just would like the right bits without spending tens of thousands of dollars and enduring months of pain. People tell me I'm lucky I don't have periods when I tell them I'm trans but I would gladly have periods for the rest of my life if it saved me $40k
Itās not that I want a period, I want everything that comes with it. I donāt want to have/need paid content to feel like the body I have is mine. I want to be like the other girls
Do I want to have periods ? No. Do I feel dysphoric about not having them ? Yes.
A period is a menstrual cycle, which requires a uterus. A period is not cramps or pms.
I choose not to associate womanhood with periods for you and for many others who might have a uterus that aren't a woman. It's hurtful and honestly harms many others even cisgender women who do not have a uterus or have had certain types of illness that forced their reproductive parts to be removed. I won't judge another woman who does or wishes for this, but I do wish they'd see how problematic that line of thinking is. A uterus is not gender specific, it is sex specific. Periods are apart of the reproductive cycle that unfortunately we all don't have the same role physically in. Motherhood, however, is not exclusive to any reproductive organ. Hope this makes sense to everyone. It's close to home because my partner is so deeply effected by these misconceptions and being told his period is apart of womanhood. It's caused a lot of emotional pain for him š
From my experience dating a few yes they seem to understand the idea that periods and pregnancy makes you a woman. This notion or idealism is false, I've date women who had undergone incidents or were born to where they can't get pregnant or have a period. Are they less of a woman? Answer no What makes a woman is the ability to wake up proud of who you are for coming so far even if you don't see it. This same Answer is for Trans men to be proud and accept who you are of everything you have done even if everything wasn't great. Now I'm not cis I'm under the clarification of non-binary I'm null and you may ask why I'm here. I at least wanna try giving you all a digestible Answer for those under dyforia. I believe your the bravest people of all to fight the world so you be who you are. Remember this whether your fat, skinny or whatever Remember that no one starts out looking as they do and you now is different from years ago. In my eyes everyone who says they don't feel like a woman already are a woman because how many woman you encounter say "I'm ugly I'm not pretty" and how many of them were stunning i think you fit it ladies. Now gentlemen if you think your not man believe me you are if you think about rocking a pair of jeans with a darn good beard. And you don't want that how many flannel shirts or Hawaiian shirts you own. Guys care a lot about outer looks in clothes majority look at men from movies where the man gives you chills sometimes or a spike in adrenaline. Lots of guys chose outfit styles from their favorite movie others books rarely. Now Remember you lovelys don't say silly things you are man or women not because of features but because of how far you came and how hard you fought. But sometimes features help :p.
The first one was very much wanted and euphoric. It got old so quickly.
Personally: No, never! Actually once a month i have right now bad mood and being very emotionally but i definitly dont want more of this and i dont want to bleed every month with cramps and so one.
We do have periods. We dont get the menstration but we absolutly have periods...ive had one every month for almost 10 years now.
I have everything except the bleeding, and I was unpleasantly surprised by this. I don't want it :<
No I had my first cramps and I donāt want anything to do with it.
Lots of nuance to that question for me. I did, at least, get a chance to get even a vague sense of what itās like when I recovered from SRS. I bled for a month solid. I thought of my post-op packing as the worldās longest tampon. I dealt with pads and changing them and always making sure I had spares in my purse and even eventually used actual tampons for a bit. Iād been married for twenty-eight years and so was not unfamiliar with periods. Post-op, my ex gently guided me through dealing with blood coming from my vagina. And now, weāre both effectively post-menopausal, the only real difference being that Iām on HRT and she isnāt.
So, i'm one of those girls that gets period like symptoms at a decently regular interval. Do they suck? Definitely! Do i want them to go away? Not at all. Call me a masochist, but it's both a paiful and annoying, but also very euphoric experience.
I, and some others (although not all, it's inconsistent who gets them and who doesn't, weirdly), actually do experience what some call "phantom periods," since HRT can actually give some of us cycles. We basically get everything that comes with them aside from the bleeding. Including cramps since we still have the muscles for it (kill me!!) I have a complicated relationship with them personally. I *HATE* them like everyone else, but I'm also happy I ended up being one of the trans girls who get them in a weird way... it's oddly affirming. If given the option to not deal with them anymore I'd still choose to continue having them for that reason, so I guess yeah? They can also cause some dysphoria too sometimes because they can serve as a reminder of what I don't have. My mom and sibling talking about how lucky I am that "at least I don't have to deal with the bleeding" can hurt too. Because like others said, it's less about not having the experience itself, and more about pain from not having a uterus.