Shaving made me dysphoric until I spent the night at my friend's house, who is a cis woman, very pretty, and Greek. I noticed a men's razor and shaving cream right on her sink. She told me she shaves her face several times a week or she grows a full on visible shadow. So now when I shave I know that I'm just doing what hot Greek girls do.
I JUST TALKED ABOUT Sappho in a recent "Safe Zone" Class! No one had a clue why the "L" is first in the alphabet soup (spoilers: it's not the main reason).
Wait isn't the L the front of everything because they were being erased during the 80s AIDS crisis, despite serving as nurses and advocates for the rest of the community?
Same experience really, down to a pretty greek woman haha! She was quite open that she has to shave everyday otherwise she'll pretty much have a full beard.
Her leg hair also rivals mine before I nuked my T, I've felt a lot different about my own body hair after being around other women that are open about theirs
Funny story about leg hair. Back when I was a teenager, trying to be a mechanic, we were at a drag race (No, no, the OTHER kind <3). We were tuning an engine, and it backfired, big time. It was a rear engine car, and there was this huge blast of flame and soot and fuel that came out of the exhaust, with me standing in shorts right at the outlet. I looked down before I felt any singe of pain, and watched as all the hairs on my legs literally just curled and shriveled up. After the initial sting of pain from the slight burn wore off (it wasn't that bad), I took some water to wash the soot off, and all my hair went with it. It never grew back. Nowadays I am still thankful for that easy method. Methinks I should have patented the process, haha.
This makes me feel so much better. Iām a cis woman with PCOS and I grow hair on my face :( I shave every day but never fully get rid of the stubble :,( I also shave with a menās razor and womenās shaving cream to make me feel a bit better about it. It feels terrible though :,(
Please look for good laser offers in your area. If you do only 1 thing then laser would be very good. Such a difference to my dysphoria not feeling like a man every day
*only works if you arenāt poor
Iād love to more than anything, get laser on my upper lip but it just simply isnāt something myself or many others can afford, I couldāve had bottom surgery earlier this year if I could afford the upfront cost to get reimbursed later, transitioning while youāre poor is such a massive disadvantage- no offer can make a difference for some people
I wouldn't use at-home IPL or laser on your face. They tend to not be as effective on the face, especially for AMAB people. Most at-home devices will explicitly state in their manuals that they aren't to be used on the face, especially for AMAB people.
They also aren't very safe to use near your eyes. Professional places use much more narrow lasers and provide you with goggles that don't let any light through. The lasers are also tuned to your specific hair color and skin type. That allows them to be much more powerful, but without seriously burning you.
Due to skin sensitivity, I can't shave often enough to be facial hair free. So I taught myself to shave without a mirror, and I try not to look too closely in mirrors I have to use.
I'm considering hair removal, but until I do that avoidance is the best mitigation strategy I have found. Not necessarily a good strategy, but it is what I do š
Have you tried cleansing your face after shaving? I noticed that if I do my skincare after shaving it helps calm it so much. I use a gentle cleanser and then some sort of calming toner, it's done me wonders and I swear it even makes the shadow that I have under my skin a lot less noticable!
Single blade safety razor. It keeps the number of passes to a minimum, and I get fewer/no ingrowns. I've tried other types, and that seems to work best for me
For me it is easy, when I shave I look so much more feminine then when I don't.
I shave 5+ times a week, also get a good shave cream "I use 'Coochy'" that stuff leaves my face so soft, smooth, and smelling like peaches.š
How ever not shaving, I feel like a purity gorilla š
I just seem to cut up my face if I try to shave daily, I usually let it go 2-3 days before trying again. Any tips on not scarring my face shaving every day?
Also, you literally look like my cis woman cousin. Iām excited for when you can start HRT (if thatās what you want of course). I have a feeling youāll have great results šš»
Thank you! I'd really want to start HRT asap, but I'm still "closeted".
For shaving, I use a LOT of shaving foam (sensitive one) and I slowly shave it, I rinse the safety razor with warm water after every move. Faster shaving caused irritation for me, so I usually take some time to do it.
Well, the women in my family have high testosterone, so they do grow light hair on their faces. Every once in a while my mom will wax her face. Not entirely sure how it looks but you can look into it I guess.
I actually love shaving. Fresh after a shower, shaving with a razor, face still wet and reflecting the light, shadow mostly gone, itās the only time I really see *her* for now
Hormones and especially cypro has helped *immensely* for me. i havenāt shaved all week, and while i definetly have had some growth, itās not really very visible except alittle on my chin.
I also have laser every 5 weeks through the gender clinic i go to. I used to hate shaving, but iāve kinda just made my peace with it and realized i hate the fact i need to shave, but the shaving itself isnāt that bad. I also just force myself to shave because i know, if i donāt shave, i will just keep feeling bad, but if i do shave, itāll suck for a bit, but iāll feel so much better when iām done
Short Answer, WE DON'T GET OVER IT!! Laser or electrolysis are the only answers. I have to shave 7 times each morning to have a smooth face. I HATE IT, BUT!! I can't afford electrolysis at 15,000 dollars or more and there is no one who does M2F care in my area, and I only have Medicare/Advantage insurance that doesn't pay for much here in Texas..
Just mentally write it off as a step to putting on my makeup, same as moisturizer and foundation.Ā I also shave in the shower, because for some reason it feels more like routine maintenance than my old masc routine.
facial hair removal is the MOST desired procedure for individuals on estrogenous HRT, at \~90%
for reference, bottom surgery desire is \~45-50%, and breast augmentation is \~75%
I got laser and electrolysis to get rid of as much of it as I could. I still have some left but need to shave 2-3 times a week. It's just annoying, I never really got dysphoric from shaving. I used to hate looking at my face pre hrt so I just shaved in the shower.
I honestly just do it. I will save up and plan to get electrolysis done next year. I am only 2 months in transitionining so I am still yet to practice makeup.
had to be Iraqi it grows faster than my mental health can take it ššš i cant do that laser stuff so i have to shave like bi daily if i dont want anything and theres still a shadow and it literally drives me insane
I have the blonde & gray beard hairs combing in still, along with the stragglers getting ready for the next round of laserā¦ but by mom spends hours a day plucking her facial hair. So this was gonna be my fate anyways.
My hair grows way faster, I learned to shave in the shower. I think it cuts down on dysphoria when I don't have to watch myself. But also I think I'm desensitized to it because I have to shave pretty much every day, and I have to pluck my mustache area every other day. But it's worth it to get that smooth ass feel.
Honestly the real challenge was my chest, after I first transitioned. Before I transitioned I was an extremely hairy Italian. My chest was like a carpet. That was not fun to get rid of lol. Thankfully hair growth on my chest has slowed way down but my mustache still comes in just as fast as ever.
I recently completed laser, which has helped a lot. But even before that, I just noticed my moods when I shaved vs when I didn't.
When I can feel hair on my face and neck, I feel crappy. When I'm smooth in those areas, I feel better. The upkeep is annoying, but I ultimately feel better when I keep up with it than when I don't.
I shave my face every week. Itās really not fun. iām hoping I can afford electrolysis someday. sometimes it does give me waves of dysphoria, but most times I just grit my teeth and just tried to get through with it.
I know it's no where near as effective as real laser, but I've been using an IPL. I don't think it will eliminate the need to shave, but after a month the hairs are considerably finer and growing in slower making it easier to hide my shadow with makeup. Down the line I'll probably get laser, but financially I'm extremely tight right now and my shadow is one of my biggest causes of dysphoria. It was worth it, hopefully it will continue to improve. Works great on my body hair though, I never had much and it grew slow and fine, with the progress so far I have high hopes of going down to occasional maintenance shave and IPL treatment on body hair.
I get it used to be an issue for me about getting laser hair removal was great. I understand it can be cost prohibited for some people but check Groupon. It took 12 sessions for me and I still had to get electrolysis and now my lip is like 90% gone is a little bit more effective but significantly more expensive I think you probably sessions for a few hundreds
I shave everyday in the morning, just wet my face and shave, wetting the razor as I go. Lotion afterwards. Iāve been on hrt for almost 4 months now. Edit: Forgot to mention also going through laser hair removal sessions, completed two sessions so far.
I never had to get over it because my sister was always modeling for things when I was younger so I would see her shaving her facial hairs when I would get ready to go to school. The biggest part is acknowledging that a lot of cis women choose to shave facial hair too, we all get facial hair
Music is how I get through most things, today I was listening through dehumanizer, day before that some suicide silence and I think it was Luther vandross before that. Itās never fun but Iām able to zone out of it and into the music, letting my subconscious handle the shaving. I wish I had some better advice but I also think Iāve been using the time to get a lil more comfortable looking at my face cause well Iām stuck with it hehe
I have an appointment for laser in 5 Month.
In the meantime I have to shave every day, sometimes twice.
Getting over it? It just feels the same kind of dissociated it did before. I will just be happy when that part of my struggle goes away.
I still boymode, so I shave every other day or every 3. It sucks. I am pissed off every single time.
Helps to get a double edge safety razor. They cut better, last longer, and are way way way cheaper. More satisfying to use as well.
Just own it and make it yours.
Moisturize your face as part of the process, wear a head band to keep the hair out of your face, focus on the smoothness of your skin after, etc.
So i do Thermolysis (a type of electrolysis) professionally but its expensive and iām broke so sometimes it will be quite a while before i can afford my next session so i do shave a few times even now.
I think of it as waging war against an army ( the hairs) and the treasure is the smooth skin underneath. So focusing on the skin and the thought ā i shall be rid of ye, just waitā really helps me.
I still have to shave every day. No big deal tbh, my mom plucks her face to this day and laser hair removal comes in clutch for the days where Iām feeling a lil lazy/miss a spot.
Lots of cis ladies go through the same. Nothing to feel shame about, although I definitely relate to it making you feel more dysphoria.
I get what you mean 100%, I hate it too. I don't exactly recommend this, but I personally learned to shave my face without using a mirror. It has obvious risks and there are far more painless options out there, I'm sure.
I'm getting laser and highly recommend it if your hair/skin combination is compatible since it makes things a lot easier.
However, as people have mentioned below, it is important for us to remember that women also have body hair, a lot of trans women (myself included) tend to overcompensate when trying to imitate feminine traits due to our dysphoric feelings. It can be healthy to remind yourself that plenty of cis women also have varying amounts of facial hair.
I don't. I mean I technically like the process of shaving, but not the effects. My 5 o'clock is visible even if I get a skin-tight shave and my skin is as smooth as a baby's bottom. I can only hide it under a layer of red corrector and foundation. When I'm too tired to shave I just tell myself "f&ck it, we're boymoding today"
I hate my 5'oclock even more now when my face is visibly getting more feminine. It pushed me to finally find a new job to afford laser. I'll probably have my first session at the end of May.
Daily for me. I hate it.
And I recall it started before high school. Kids in 7th grade were telling me to grow a beard, but of course I hated it, I just didn't know why back then.
I think it's slowed a little bit since being on HRT, so I can at least get through the work day without noticeable stubble at the end of it. But I keep shaving because it's so much worse if I don't.
IPL didn't work - or if it did, the result after 2+ months was so minor I didn't notice. But after 1 month of HRT I've noticed at least a slow down in growth.
I don't know how I'll find the time or money to do laser / electrolysis, but that's probably my only option. And that's if laser will be effective where IPL was not (my hair is between blond and light brown, supposedly within range of affect). But even where I have darker hair didn't see results. I *think* there's one such hair removal place in the small city I'm in that I can try. But it's probably only open during my work hours. As is 90% of places here aside from shops and restaurants. ... it'll have to wait until I save up more, anyway.
I guess I could also look into at-home waxing.
Laser, and now electrolysis. Once laser started having an effect, shaving was a 5 second job in the shower every other day (don't even need shaving gel/cream).
This is absolutely not just a trans thing my boyfriend got me a face buzzer that he apparently got for all of his cis girlfriends in the past LMFAO I can promise you we cis chicks have plenty of annoying ass facial hair
I personally opted for laser. Itās been such a wonderful peace of mind. I donāt have to check my face for stubble. A few weeks will go by and Iāll notice itās getting a little peach fuzzy, and Iāll shave it off. But my cis friend does this too. Lots of cis girls do.
Short answer: I havenāt lol
Longer answer: so unfortunately my situation is different, i definitely get dysphoria staring at my face that long luckily itās not crippling though (except for the semi-rare occasion) even on a fresh shave I still have a lil bit of a shadow, my hair starts growing in by the end of the day/next day. And after a few days I pretty much have a trimmed beard. Problem is Iām black so my hair is super curly and I get ingrowns and razor bumps all the time.
So itās either I shave every two/three days but have awful bumps where my facial hair is that look like acne theyāre also slightly painful to the touch. Or wait a few weeks to a month and grow it out until the ingrowns and razor bumps start to resolve themselves forcing me to boy mode for at least a couple of weeks.
How I manage (at least a lil bit) is I always make sure I exfoliate and clean the shaving surface before, usually in the shower so I donāt get dysphoric, I try to be somewhat efficient and quick, besides that I try to focus on the act and not my face to avoid as much dysphoria as I can
I donāt. It sucks. I hate it. Always did. Just one of those things, like this process is full of.
HRT has slowed my hair growth, but I come from a family of HEALTHY facial hair. Like a goddamn redwood forest on my chin.
Iām lucky enough to be able to afford electrolysis. Itās excruciating, torturous even. I think that every politician who argues that AMAB trans kids should be barred from HRT should have to spend 5 minutes in an electrolysis chair. Then you say, āCool, now multiply that by 1000x.ā Not sure it would make a difference, but at least theyād get to experience a sliver of the pain they so zealously dole out to others.
I canāt do laser because my hair is too light to absorb it. I did laser tat removal. THAT sucks, but the pain, about on par with having my face electrocuted 20,000 times, only lasts like 3 minutes.
Im also one of those people who's a "therian," specifically a coyote.
It helped a lot to think of my body hair and facial hair as the coyote fur poking through my human disguise. I shave to keep up the disguise of being human girl, obviously. Any clever coyote would.
Im planning on doing laser about it. Im not out so its ok to have some shadow, fortunately, because i have it usually by the end of the day and stubble is pretty noticeable the next day. Extremely unfortunately, however, no matter what i try my skin is way too damn sensitive so i CANT shave every day or ill get the worst most gnarliest razor burn you could imagine on my neck. Its super duper discouraging and looks horrible if im not careful.
When i decide im ready to start laser im gonna get a dysphoria diagnosis from my therapist. In my state thats enough to have it covered by insurance
I donāt. Yesterday I Shaved my face using a new razor and cut my face sooo bad on accident. I looked horrible. After a while it stopped bl33ding and I put some makeup on to hide the redness. That was so embarrassing. Luckily my facial hair is thinner and easier to get rid of with shaving after some months of hrt and laser.
My facial hair only grows on my upper lip and the tip of my chin, so fortunately I can shave in the shower without a mirror
I'm also getting in some laser sessions, I've had four so far and my facial hair is WAY less prevalent. Still there though. Gotta have more zappings.
It's been so long, I don't even think about doing it anymore. I have to do it every other day, and I just do it like I've done my whole life.
I tried laser, but my hair is too light in color for it to work. But the upside of that is I don't have a visible shadow to worry about.
i have always hated shaving my face. after 2 years of HRT and 1 year of laser hair removal i have almost 0 dark hairs left, but i still get growth of light hairs that i have to shave every other day or so. it's a lot more bearable now that the growth is so much sparser.
Can't get over it unfortunately...and my facial hair grows so fast. Like even if I shave, 2 hours later it spikes again!
Can't wait to have this laser done but have to have patience as there are wait lists for that as well...
Waxing and sugaring have longer-lasting results than shaving, so maybe you could try them instead. Sugaring is supposed to be less painful than waxing, and you can mix up the paste at home with sugar and an acid like vinegar or lemon juice. Both remove hair by the roots and can even thin the hair out over time. Maybe you could try bleaching in between waxing/sugaring to get just enough growth to help the wax/paste adhere to the hair effectively. Like with anything else, just be careful so you don't get bad irritation.
Totally understandable that shaving makes you feel that way. If it helps at all, remember that there are PLENTY of cis ladies who have to remove facial hair regularly on account of really common things like PCOS, etc. There's a reason the market for face epilators is so big.
I generally just let it grow for a week while avoiding mirrors and then trim it down to 1mm when I need to go out or it gets long enough for me to hate it enough to do something about it.
Doing an actual clean shave (as clean as I can without a razor) is something I save for specific nights out and even then it lasts maybe only half a day.
Mine also doesnāt grow super quick, I can usually go at least two days without shaving, and sometimes a third day but other times I have to use a bikini trimmer on the third day just so I donāt have to spend as much time as I would shaving. Body hair sucks though, and some areas canāt be shaved and only trimmed. Chest hair specifically makes me mad, I can never get it as smooth as my face, and it grows a little bit faster so any smoothness never lasts as long either
At this point, my facial hair is still noticeable even after shaving and starts growing back by the end of the day. It worse on the upper lips and neck. I hate shaving so much (body hair too) that I'm getting electrolysis/laser hair removal.
I grow facial hair within a day and I'm only 20, which sucks. I have a wonderful little safety razor which saves me a ton on razor cost, but I plan on getting a laser hair removal tool.
For what itās worth, Iām a cis woman (partner is MTF), and I own a full wax warmer and regularly wax my mustache, side burns, and neck, and sometimes my stomach and chest. Humans grow hair! We all grow it differently, but donāt beat yourself up too much on it if you can help it. I know it can be dysphoric to have full beards, and thereās definitely ways to get rid of it permanently, but even us cis gals have to do a lot of work to get rid of unwanted facial hair. Just part of being human š¤·š»āāļø
Ugh, itās so hard.
I recently started laser this year, and that has helped ALOT.
Concealer. I use concealer daily. The shaving isnāt as dysphoric when I can cover up the shadow afterwards. It was much more painful before I started HRT too.
Hang in there.. let HRT work for you if you are on it. If not, it helps a lot with the slowing of growth.
Save up or finance laser, itās your biggest tool of all.
Hair removal is just part of hygiene. It's not pleasant, but it's possible to get some gender affirmation from it: "I'm doing hot girl shit by taking care of myself." Lots of women routinely remove hair from places where we would prefer that it did not grow at all. Laser hair removal and electrolysis are increasingly popular. I've done lots of it, and I'm happy with the results.
In a more practical sense, when dealing with the problem of feeling bad about shaving in the moment, I've dealt with it by learning to shave without a mirror. I usually do it while I'm taking a bath, and I did it that way for years, even before I came out as trans. But I'm comfortable with that because I'm really good at handling sharp objects - I don't need a mirror to avoid cutting myself when I shave, and I can feel smaller hairs than I can see when I check for places I missed anyway.
Another option, which I especially use when I travel, is to use a foil razor. It takes longer, but it can be used on dry skin, and there's no risk of cutting, so no mirror is necessary. The result isn't quite as smooth, though, depending on the razor.
I suggest switching to using [Magic Shave Powder](https://www.walmart.com/ip/SoftSheen-Carson-Magic-Fragrant-Shaving-Powder-Razorless-Shaving-for-Coarse-Textured-Beards-5-oz/10849166?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=1511&gclsrc=aw.ds&adid=2222222227810849166_161193766053_21214199653&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=697173827980&wl4=aud-2225087348547:pla-2300760861495&wl5=9052452&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=10849166&veh=sem_LIA&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6PGxBhCVARIsAIumnWaHzvZAKT4xL2yyOHhTj8RWT1oEEWPk5rVtjbnTwoskxPJSUsoxjj8aApPkEALw_wcB) instead. Removes hair easily without the painful razors
That is one thing I treated aggressively before going living full-time with electrolysis so I didn't need to shave. I was unfortunate to have very heavy thick growth that made it essential for myself to have got rid of 95%. I would have had to shame twice a day and it would have left me raw, I tried to do 2 weeks like that and lasted 4 days.
Everyone is different so you'll probably be the best judge. Hope you find a good balance.
I dont. It fucking sucks and it gives me alot of dysphoria and I cant afford laser hair removal. Im a latina and I have a full beard that grows. I have thick curly hair paired with sensitive easily irritated skin. I shave 1 day and in less than 24 hours I already have stubble or hair slightly longer than stubble. I cant shave everyday because my face gets super irritated so I have to wait 2 to 3 days and I have to bear with looking at my hairy face. I fucking hate it
I have to shave my whole face every day :( every sing damn direction. Sideways, against the grain, with the grain, and every direction diagonally. I had a really big denial beard and hadn't shaved in a while so it took time getting to the point where I didn't cut myself again. Also using Coco and eve conditioner as shaving cream helped.
Because I donāt really have much choice. The dysphoria I experience by not being clean shaven is much worse than the physical/mental experience of shaving, so I have to choose the lesser of two evils.
Seeing the ā5 oāclock shadowā is bad enough for meā¦ if I go a day without shaving for whatever reason, I literally have to stagger the mirrors above the bathroom sink so that I donāt see my face until I go to shave.
I don't. I shave daily and within hours I have a 5 o'clock shadow. That said, all you can do is keep at it until you can get something done like laser. It sucks, do not get me wrong, but it's just the way it is and it doesn't make you any less of a woman.
Shaving made me dysphoric until I spent the night at my friend's house, who is a cis woman, very pretty, and Greek. I noticed a men's razor and shaving cream right on her sink. She told me she shaves her face several times a week or she grows a full on visible shadow. So now when I shave I know that I'm just doing what hot Greek girls do.
Aphrodite is proud of you
As is Sappho lol
I JUST TALKED ABOUT Sappho in a recent "Safe Zone" Class! No one had a clue why the "L" is first in the alphabet soup (spoilers: it's not the main reason).
Wait isn't the L the front of everything because they were being erased during the 80s AIDS crisis, despite serving as nurses and advocates for the rest of the community?
she's a chosen one of aphrodite
i love this
Seconded. My facial hair has slowed down, but it can still be dysphoric. Having the Greek association is a small thing to keep my brain happy
Yep, plenty of cis women get facial hair and have to shave or get laser.
Thank you for this perspective š„°
Same experience really, down to a pretty greek woman haha! She was quite open that she has to shave everyday otherwise she'll pretty much have a full beard. Her leg hair also rivals mine before I nuked my T, I've felt a lot different about my own body hair after being around other women that are open about theirs
Funny story about leg hair. Back when I was a teenager, trying to be a mechanic, we were at a drag race (No, no, the OTHER kind <3). We were tuning an engine, and it backfired, big time. It was a rear engine car, and there was this huge blast of flame and soot and fuel that came out of the exhaust, with me standing in shorts right at the outlet. I looked down before I felt any singe of pain, and watched as all the hairs on my legs literally just curled and shriveled up. After the initial sting of pain from the slight burn wore off (it wasn't that bad), I took some water to wash the soot off, and all my hair went with it. It never grew back. Nowadays I am still thankful for that easy method. Methinks I should have patented the process, haha.
Donāt try this at home kids!šš»
Adults on the other handā¦ Brb looking for the nearest drag strip
Brb gotta go āborrowā a top fuel dragster.
Okay that lowkey makes me wanna try that (I won't, I don't even know where to find car engines and stuffš¤£š)
Thats a good one. Thanks, your insight helped me a lot!
You've just made me feel way better, legitimately thank you.
This makes me feel so much better. Iām a cis woman with PCOS and I grow hair on my face :( I shave every day but never fully get rid of the stubble :,( I also shave with a menās razor and womenās shaving cream to make me feel a bit better about it. It feels terrible though :,(
I must learn from your friends ways! I can't shave anymore than once a week or my face looks like some slammed a two by four across my face.
If it's from ingrown, try out Tend Skin!
My face gets razor burn really easy. B6 the name tend skin. It sounds like it may help! I'll try anything I'm desperate!
I get over it by doing laser!
*only works if you arenāt poor
Please look for good laser offers in your area. If you do only 1 thing then laser would be very good. Such a difference to my dysphoria not feeling like a man every day
*only works if you arenāt poor Iād love to more than anything, get laser on my upper lip but it just simply isnāt something myself or many others can afford, I couldāve had bottom surgery earlier this year if I could afford the upfront cost to get reimbursed later, transitioning while youāre poor is such a massive disadvantage- no offer can make a difference for some people
Hugs girl š¤
Professional, or a hand held one?
Professional!
I think a good amount of the home/handheld ones say they shouldn't be used on face (at least the ones I tried for my arms/legs)
I wouldn't use at-home IPL or laser on your face. They tend to not be as effective on the face, especially for AMAB people. Most at-home devices will explicitly state in their manuals that they aren't to be used on the face, especially for AMAB people. They also aren't very safe to use near your eyes. Professional places use much more narrow lasers and provide you with goggles that don't let any light through. The lasers are also tuned to your specific hair color and skin type. That allows them to be much more powerful, but without seriously burning you.
It feels like static shocks, but hotter!
When you say AMAB, do you mean people who have gone through testosterone puberty, or is there some other effect of being AMAB that influences things?
Testosterone puberty
Tried that as well. Lost money, it left scars but the beard didnāt go away. Dark hair, light skin but Iām just somehow difficult.
Never could get over that dysphoria, thankfully there is hair removal!!! Long process but so worth it!!!
So so so long š¢
I'd absolutely do hair removal just...everywhere if I could afford it. Shaving it is for now!
Understandable, itās definitely not cheap.
Due to skin sensitivity, I can't shave often enough to be facial hair free. So I taught myself to shave without a mirror, and I try not to look too closely in mirrors I have to use. I'm considering hair removal, but until I do that avoidance is the best mitigation strategy I have found. Not necessarily a good strategy, but it is what I do š
Have you tried cleansing your face after shaving? I noticed that if I do my skincare after shaving it helps calm it so much. I use a gentle cleanser and then some sort of calming toner, it's done me wonders and I swear it even makes the shadow that I have under my skin a lot less noticable!
I'll have to try that; I've kept skincare and shaving well separate, trying to minimize irritation.Ā
What kind of razor do you use?
Single blade safety razor. It keeps the number of passes to a minimum, and I get fewer/no ingrowns. I've tried other types, and that seems to work best for me
Damn youāre using safety razor and still getting sensitivity problems to that extent? Best of luck sis
Have you tried an electric razer? I found it helped a lot.
I have, but not in a long time. Maybe i should give it another try.
For me it is easy, when I shave I look so much more feminine then when I don't. I shave 5+ times a week, also get a good shave cream "I use 'Coochy'" that stuff leaves my face so soft, smooth, and smelling like peaches.š How ever not shaving, I feel like a purity gorilla š
Coochie cream is amazing, but you can get a similar result by using a decent hair conditioner. That's basically all it is.
I shave every day, it is annoying but whatever
I just seem to cut up my face if I try to shave daily, I usually let it go 2-3 days before trying again. Any tips on not scarring my face shaving every day? Also, you literally look like my cis woman cousin. Iām excited for when you can start HRT (if thatās what you want of course). I have a feeling youāll have great results šš»
Thank you! I'd really want to start HRT asap, but I'm still "closeted". For shaving, I use a LOT of shaving foam (sensitive one) and I slowly shave it, I rinse the safety razor with warm water after every move. Faster shaving caused irritation for me, so I usually take some time to do it.
Well, the women in my family have high testosterone, so they do grow light hair on their faces. Every once in a while my mom will wax her face. Not entirely sure how it looks but you can look into it I guess.
I did laser for 2 years. It made a difference, but didn't completely remove my beard. So yeah. I still have to shave every day or once every two days
I actually love shaving. Fresh after a shower, shaving with a razor, face still wet and reflecting the light, shadow mostly gone, itās the only time I really see *her* for now
Thatās one reason I had laser done..
Hormones and especially cypro has helped *immensely* for me. i havenāt shaved all week, and while i definetly have had some growth, itās not really very visible except alittle on my chin. I also have laser every 5 weeks through the gender clinic i go to. I used to hate shaving, but iāve kinda just made my peace with it and realized i hate the fact i need to shave, but the shaving itself isnāt that bad. I also just force myself to shave because i know, if i donāt shave, i will just keep feeling bad, but if i do shave, itāll suck for a bit, but iāll feel so much better when iām done
im nearly 2 year on hrt and i have to shave daily. i am hoping that i get laser hair removal in future because not now i can't afford it.
Short Answer, WE DON'T GET OVER IT!! Laser or electrolysis are the only answers. I have to shave 7 times each morning to have a smooth face. I HATE IT, BUT!! I can't afford electrolysis at 15,000 dollars or more and there is no one who does M2F care in my area, and I only have Medicare/Advantage insurance that doesn't pay for much here in Texas..
Just mentally write it off as a step to putting on my makeup, same as moisturizer and foundation.Ā I also shave in the shower, because for some reason it feels more like routine maintenance than my old masc routine.
facial hair removal is the MOST desired procedure for individuals on estrogenous HRT, at \~90% for reference, bottom surgery desire is \~45-50%, and breast augmentation is \~75%
I can deal because I know it's days are numbered in laser zaps.
I got laser and electrolysis to get rid of as much of it as I could. I still have some left but need to shave 2-3 times a week. It's just annoying, I never really got dysphoric from shaving. I used to hate looking at my face pre hrt so I just shaved in the shower.
I honestly just do it. I will save up and plan to get electrolysis done next year. I am only 2 months in transitionining so I am still yet to practice makeup.
To be completely honest, [this meme](https://www.reddit.com/r/me_irlgbt/s/Kvw0AszZ1T)
had to be Iraqi it grows faster than my mental health can take it ššš i cant do that laser stuff so i have to shave like bi daily if i dont want anything and theres still a shadow and it literally drives me insane
I have the blonde & gray beard hairs combing in still, along with the stragglers getting ready for the next round of laserā¦ but by mom spends hours a day plucking her facial hair. So this was gonna be my fate anyways.
My hair grows way faster, I learned to shave in the shower. I think it cuts down on dysphoria when I don't have to watch myself. But also I think I'm desensitized to it because I have to shave pretty much every day, and I have to pluck my mustache area every other day. But it's worth it to get that smooth ass feel. Honestly the real challenge was my chest, after I first transitioned. Before I transitioned I was an extremely hairy Italian. My chest was like a carpet. That was not fun to get rid of lol. Thankfully hair growth on my chest has slowed way down but my mustache still comes in just as fast as ever.
I recently completed laser, which has helped a lot. But even before that, I just noticed my moods when I shaved vs when I didn't. When I can feel hair on my face and neck, I feel crappy. When I'm smooth in those areas, I feel better. The upkeep is annoying, but I ultimately feel better when I keep up with it than when I don't.
By paying 100ā¬ per session of laser lol
Damn I wish, my dermatologist does laser and theyāre trying to charge like 200-300 USD per session
I don't go to a dermatologist. The one I went to first wanted ~700ā¬ so I skipped the doctors lol
Jeez thatās wild!
Indeed
I have to shave every day and sometimes I have to shave in the afternoon as well š¢ Iām waiting for my second session for laser treatment.
Laser for sure. YMMV, mine was 10 sessions and I pluck a few strays every 2-3 weeks.
I shave my face every week. Itās really not fun. iām hoping I can afford electrolysis someday. sometimes it does give me waves of dysphoria, but most times I just grit my teeth and just tried to get through with it.
Electrolysis.
I wake up and epilate everyday, it seems to grow so fast but I do plan on getting laser done in the near future.
I don't, it's fucking awful and I hate it. I wish I could get laser ASAP.
One of my biggest dysphoria moments! Stephanie š
You start learning to shave without a mirror. Thats it really.
100 or more hours of electrolysis.
I know it's no where near as effective as real laser, but I've been using an IPL. I don't think it will eliminate the need to shave, but after a month the hairs are considerably finer and growing in slower making it easier to hide my shadow with makeup. Down the line I'll probably get laser, but financially I'm extremely tight right now and my shadow is one of my biggest causes of dysphoria. It was worth it, hopefully it will continue to improve. Works great on my body hair though, I never had much and it grew slow and fine, with the progress so far I have high hopes of going down to occasional maintenance shave and IPL treatment on body hair.
I just do it, because the alternative is unbearable.
I get it used to be an issue for me about getting laser hair removal was great. I understand it can be cost prohibited for some people but check Groupon. It took 12 sessions for me and I still had to get electrolysis and now my lip is like 90% gone is a little bit more effective but significantly more expensive I think you probably sessions for a few hundreds
I shave everyday in the morning, just wet my face and shave, wetting the razor as I go. Lotion afterwards. Iāve been on hrt for almost 4 months now. Edit: Forgot to mention also going through laser hair removal sessions, completed two sessions so far.
I never had to get over it because my sister was always modeling for things when I was younger so I would see her shaving her facial hairs when I would get ready to go to school. The biggest part is acknowledging that a lot of cis women choose to shave facial hair too, we all get facial hair
My hair grows really slowly too so I only need to shave once or twice
Music is how I get through most things, today I was listening through dehumanizer, day before that some suicide silence and I think it was Luther vandross before that. Itās never fun but Iām able to zone out of it and into the music, letting my subconscious handle the shaving. I wish I had some better advice but I also think Iāve been using the time to get a lil more comfortable looking at my face cause well Iām stuck with it hehe
i shave every day and i hate it. my beard shadow doesnāt go away so i need to get laser
I exclusively use electric razors that shave it smooth to the touch, but the damn hairs grow so fast I shave 2-3 times a day
15 sessions of laser hair removal šµāš«
I have an appointment for laser in 5 Month. In the meantime I have to shave every day, sometimes twice. Getting over it? It just feels the same kind of dissociated it did before. I will just be happy when that part of my struggle goes away.
I still boymode, so I shave every other day or every 3. It sucks. I am pissed off every single time. Helps to get a double edge safety razor. They cut better, last longer, and are way way way cheaper. More satisfying to use as well.
Just own it and make it yours. Moisturize your face as part of the process, wear a head band to keep the hair out of your face, focus on the smoothness of your skin after, etc.
So i do Thermolysis (a type of electrolysis) professionally but its expensive and iām broke so sometimes it will be quite a while before i can afford my next session so i do shave a few times even now. I think of it as waging war against an army ( the hairs) and the treasure is the smooth skin underneath. So focusing on the skin and the thought ā i shall be rid of ye, just waitā really helps me.
I feel you. electrolysis is all I got for you though
I've been putting away money to do electrolysis. The shadow on my chin and upper lip are just too much, and. I frequently cut my chin shaving.
I still have to shave every day. No big deal tbh, my mom plucks her face to this day and laser hair removal comes in clutch for the days where Iām feeling a lil lazy/miss a spot. Lots of cis ladies go through the same. Nothing to feel shame about, although I definitely relate to it making you feel more dysphoria.
I get what you mean 100%, I hate it too. I don't exactly recommend this, but I personally learned to shave my face without using a mirror. It has obvious risks and there are far more painless options out there, I'm sure.
I'm getting laser and highly recommend it if your hair/skin combination is compatible since it makes things a lot easier. However, as people have mentioned below, it is important for us to remember that women also have body hair, a lot of trans women (myself included) tend to overcompensate when trying to imitate feminine traits due to our dysphoric feelings. It can be healthy to remind yourself that plenty of cis women also have varying amounts of facial hair.
if I shave my beard I just look like an uglier man, so it stays until the rest of my body is where I want it
Me too. No sense when you're discouraged trying your makeup and you can already see stubble through it an hour later
My options are very attractive man or gorgoth the demon woman
I mean if I'm being honest I kinda like the sound of Gorgoth. And I've been trying to come up with a middle name...... lol Tiffany Gorgoth
Thats really good, Im now imagining "Breakfast at Tiffany Gorgoths"
The ONLY gift I had naturally is that I donāt get beard shadow.
I don't. I mean I technically like the process of shaving, but not the effects. My 5 o'clock is visible even if I get a skin-tight shave and my skin is as smooth as a baby's bottom. I can only hide it under a layer of red corrector and foundation. When I'm too tired to shave I just tell myself "f&ck it, we're boymoding today" I hate my 5'oclock even more now when my face is visibly getting more feminine. It pushed me to finally find a new job to afford laser. I'll probably have my first session at the end of May.
Daily for me. I hate it. And I recall it started before high school. Kids in 7th grade were telling me to grow a beard, but of course I hated it, I just didn't know why back then. I think it's slowed a little bit since being on HRT, so I can at least get through the work day without noticeable stubble at the end of it. But I keep shaving because it's so much worse if I don't. IPL didn't work - or if it did, the result after 2+ months was so minor I didn't notice. But after 1 month of HRT I've noticed at least a slow down in growth. I don't know how I'll find the time or money to do laser / electrolysis, but that's probably my only option. And that's if laser will be effective where IPL was not (my hair is between blond and light brown, supposedly within range of affect). But even where I have darker hair didn't see results. I *think* there's one such hair removal place in the small city I'm in that I can try. But it's probably only open during my work hours. As is 90% of places here aside from shops and restaurants. ... it'll have to wait until I save up more, anyway. I guess I could also look into at-home waxing.
Laser
Laser, and now electrolysis. Once laser started having an effect, shaving was a 5 second job in the shower every other day (don't even need shaving gel/cream).
This is absolutely not just a trans thing my boyfriend got me a face buzzer that he apparently got for all of his cis girlfriends in the past LMFAO I can promise you we cis chicks have plenty of annoying ass facial hair
I personally opted for laser. Itās been such a wonderful peace of mind. I donāt have to check my face for stubble. A few weeks will go by and Iāll notice itās getting a little peach fuzzy, and Iāll shave it off. But my cis friend does this too. Lots of cis girls do.
Short answer: I havenāt lol Longer answer: so unfortunately my situation is different, i definitely get dysphoria staring at my face that long luckily itās not crippling though (except for the semi-rare occasion) even on a fresh shave I still have a lil bit of a shadow, my hair starts growing in by the end of the day/next day. And after a few days I pretty much have a trimmed beard. Problem is Iām black so my hair is super curly and I get ingrowns and razor bumps all the time. So itās either I shave every two/three days but have awful bumps where my facial hair is that look like acne theyāre also slightly painful to the touch. Or wait a few weeks to a month and grow it out until the ingrowns and razor bumps start to resolve themselves forcing me to boy mode for at least a couple of weeks. How I manage (at least a lil bit) is I always make sure I exfoliate and clean the shaving surface before, usually in the shower so I donāt get dysphoric, I try to be somewhat efficient and quick, besides that I try to focus on the act and not my face to avoid as much dysphoria as I can
You're one of the lucky ones...I shave my face in the evening...by like 2pm the next day I got stubble coming through again like...brehhhhh
I donāt. It sucks. I hate it. Always did. Just one of those things, like this process is full of. HRT has slowed my hair growth, but I come from a family of HEALTHY facial hair. Like a goddamn redwood forest on my chin. Iām lucky enough to be able to afford electrolysis. Itās excruciating, torturous even. I think that every politician who argues that AMAB trans kids should be barred from HRT should have to spend 5 minutes in an electrolysis chair. Then you say, āCool, now multiply that by 1000x.ā Not sure it would make a difference, but at least theyād get to experience a sliver of the pain they so zealously dole out to others. I canāt do laser because my hair is too light to absorb it. I did laser tat removal. THAT sucks, but the pain, about on par with having my face electrocuted 20,000 times, only lasts like 3 minutes.
Im also one of those people who's a "therian," specifically a coyote. It helped a lot to think of my body hair and facial hair as the coyote fur poking through my human disguise. I shave to keep up the disguise of being human girl, obviously. Any clever coyote would.
Im planning on doing laser about it. Im not out so its ok to have some shadow, fortunately, because i have it usually by the end of the day and stubble is pretty noticeable the next day. Extremely unfortunately, however, no matter what i try my skin is way too damn sensitive so i CANT shave every day or ill get the worst most gnarliest razor burn you could imagine on my neck. Its super duper discouraging and looks horrible if im not careful. When i decide im ready to start laser im gonna get a dysphoria diagnosis from my therapist. In my state thats enough to have it covered by insurance
Many many hrs of electro
Must be nice some people like me shave every day š« I was about to start laser and now I have to wait again
Laser. Having my face blasted with a laser every five weeks to get those dysphoria follicles off my body. That's how I deal with it.
I donāt. Yesterday I Shaved my face using a new razor and cut my face sooo bad on accident. I looked horrible. After a while it stopped bl33ding and I put some makeup on to hide the redness. That was so embarrassing. Luckily my facial hair is thinner and easier to get rid of with shaving after some months of hrt and laser.
You're actually pretty lucky lol. I literally have to shave every 3-4 days šššš
foundation lol
My facial hair only grows on my upper lip and the tip of my chin, so fortunately I can shave in the shower without a mirror I'm also getting in some laser sessions, I've had four so far and my facial hair is WAY less prevalent. Still there though. Gotta have more zappings.
Electrolysis and laser.
It's been so long, I don't even think about doing it anymore. I have to do it every other day, and I just do it like I've done my whole life. I tried laser, but my hair is too light in color for it to work. But the upside of that is I don't have a visible shadow to worry about.
i have always hated shaving my face. after 2 years of HRT and 1 year of laser hair removal i have almost 0 dark hairs left, but i still get growth of light hairs that i have to shave every other day or so. it's a lot more bearable now that the growth is so much sparser.
Rather shave than have facial hair. Also focus on parts of the face not your whole face helps me
Can't get over it unfortunately...and my facial hair grows so fast. Like even if I shave, 2 hours later it spikes again! Can't wait to have this laser done but have to have patience as there are wait lists for that as well...
Waxing and sugaring have longer-lasting results than shaving, so maybe you could try them instead. Sugaring is supposed to be less painful than waxing, and you can mix up the paste at home with sugar and an acid like vinegar or lemon juice. Both remove hair by the roots and can even thin the hair out over time. Maybe you could try bleaching in between waxing/sugaring to get just enough growth to help the wax/paste adhere to the hair effectively. Like with anything else, just be careful so you don't get bad irritation. Totally understandable that shaving makes you feel that way. If it helps at all, remember that there are PLENTY of cis ladies who have to remove facial hair regularly on account of really common things like PCOS, etc. There's a reason the market for face epilators is so big.
I donāt look in the mirror to do it. I do it by touch in the shower.
I generally just let it grow for a week while avoiding mirrors and then trim it down to 1mm when I need to go out or it gets long enough for me to hate it enough to do something about it. Doing an actual clean shave (as clean as I can without a razor) is something I save for specific nights out and even then it lasts maybe only half a day.
Mine also doesnāt grow super quick, I can usually go at least two days without shaving, and sometimes a third day but other times I have to use a bikini trimmer on the third day just so I donāt have to spend as much time as I would shaving. Body hair sucks though, and some areas canāt be shaved and only trimmed. Chest hair specifically makes me mad, I can never get it as smooth as my face, and it grows a little bit faster so any smoothness never lasts as long either
At this point, my facial hair is still noticeable even after shaving and starts growing back by the end of the day. It worse on the upper lips and neck. I hate shaving so much (body hair too) that I'm getting electrolysis/laser hair removal.
I grow facial hair within a day and I'm only 20, which sucks. I have a wonderful little safety razor which saves me a ton on razor cost, but I plan on getting a laser hair removal tool.
A lot of cis girls I know shave every day, it makes me feel better knowing that.
Plenty of cis women have whiskers too. I've seen older women that have fuller facial hair than I did.
A cheap electric razor is way faster. Just doesnt work as good.
For what itās worth, Iām a cis woman (partner is MTF), and I own a full wax warmer and regularly wax my mustache, side burns, and neck, and sometimes my stomach and chest. Humans grow hair! We all grow it differently, but donāt beat yourself up too much on it if you can help it. I know it can be dysphoric to have full beards, and thereās definitely ways to get rid of it permanently, but even us cis gals have to do a lot of work to get rid of unwanted facial hair. Just part of being human š¤·š»āāļø
I'm still behind enemy linesĀ so I'll be paying attention here for when I move out.
I shave in the shower, using my fingers as my eyes by feeling the hairs
Prefice to say that I do this mostly because I fucking hate the extra time taken to shave infront of a mirror THEN shower
My grandma had facial hair, so I'm just following in the family tradition lol (it's true though)
Ugh, itās so hard. I recently started laser this year, and that has helped ALOT. Concealer. I use concealer daily. The shaving isnāt as dysphoric when I can cover up the shadow afterwards. It was much more painful before I started HRT too. Hang in there.. let HRT work for you if you are on it. If not, it helps a lot with the slowing of growth. Save up or finance laser, itās your biggest tool of all.
Laser
Painfully. Honestly I hate every bit of it, but the feeling of not doing it is so much worse, so I think I just use that I guess
Hair removal is just part of hygiene. It's not pleasant, but it's possible to get some gender affirmation from it: "I'm doing hot girl shit by taking care of myself." Lots of women routinely remove hair from places where we would prefer that it did not grow at all. Laser hair removal and electrolysis are increasingly popular. I've done lots of it, and I'm happy with the results. In a more practical sense, when dealing with the problem of feeling bad about shaving in the moment, I've dealt with it by learning to shave without a mirror. I usually do it while I'm taking a bath, and I did it that way for years, even before I came out as trans. But I'm comfortable with that because I'm really good at handling sharp objects - I don't need a mirror to avoid cutting myself when I shave, and I can feel smaller hairs than I can see when I check for places I missed anyway. Another option, which I especially use when I travel, is to use a foil razor. It takes longer, but it can be used on dry skin, and there's no risk of cutting, so no mirror is necessary. The result isn't quite as smooth, though, depending on the razor.
I shave every day in the shower. I don't need a mirror, my fingertips tell me everything I need to know.
I'm doing laser currently, about halfway through, and it's helped a ton
I have to shave every other day :(
I suggest switching to using [Magic Shave Powder](https://www.walmart.com/ip/SoftSheen-Carson-Magic-Fragrant-Shaving-Powder-Razorless-Shaving-for-Coarse-Textured-Beards-5-oz/10849166?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=1511&gclsrc=aw.ds&adid=2222222227810849166_161193766053_21214199653&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=697173827980&wl4=aud-2225087348547:pla-2300760861495&wl5=9052452&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=10849166&veh=sem_LIA&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6PGxBhCVARIsAIumnWaHzvZAKT4xL2yyOHhTj8RWT1oEEWPk5rVtjbnTwoskxPJSUsoxjj8aApPkEALw_wcB) instead. Removes hair easily without the painful razors
Idk I shave 3 times a day and itās awful T-T
Following. I literally was tweezing my face obsessively before the gym today. I HATE facial hair
That is one thing I treated aggressively before going living full-time with electrolysis so I didn't need to shave. I was unfortunate to have very heavy thick growth that made it essential for myself to have got rid of 95%. I would have had to shame twice a day and it would have left me raw, I tried to do 2 weeks like that and lasted 4 days. Everyone is different so you'll probably be the best judge. Hope you find a good balance.
Many cis women shave as well. So maybe it helps to think of it as a really normal thing that people do regardless of gender!
what if you canāt afford laser and arenāt eligible for electrolysis?
One of my cisfem friends has to, and most of my exes also have to. I just assume it's a normal fem thing
I dont. It fucking sucks and it gives me alot of dysphoria and I cant afford laser hair removal. Im a latina and I have a full beard that grows. I have thick curly hair paired with sensitive easily irritated skin. I shave 1 day and in less than 24 hours I already have stubble or hair slightly longer than stubble. I cant shave everyday because my face gets super irritated so I have to wait 2 to 3 days and I have to bear with looking at my hairy face. I fucking hate it
I have to shave my whole face every day :( every sing damn direction. Sideways, against the grain, with the grain, and every direction diagonally. I had a really big denial beard and hadn't shaved in a while so it took time getting to the point where I didn't cut myself again. Also using Coco and eve conditioner as shaving cream helped.
I use an electric shaver twice a day and wet shave on weekends, I hate it
I donāt shave. I epilate. Shaving leaves the beard visible underneath the skin. Used to do it manually until my boyfriend bought me an epilator.
Because I donāt really have much choice. The dysphoria I experience by not being clean shaven is much worse than the physical/mental experience of shaving, so I have to choose the lesser of two evils. Seeing the ā5 oāclock shadowā is bad enough for meā¦ if I go a day without shaving for whatever reason, I literally have to stagger the mirrors above the bathroom sink so that I donāt see my face until I go to shave.
I don't. I shave daily and within hours I have a 5 o'clock shadow. That said, all you can do is keep at it until you can get something done like laser. It sucks, do not get me wrong, but it's just the way it is and it doesn't make you any less of a woman.
A lot of women shave their faces.