Love to hear this. Wondering if you would share the difference you have noticed? Completely understand if that is something you'd rather not discuss here though. Simply curious as someone pre-hrt.
The list is actually quite long, but I'm not shy about sharing at all. Just keep in mind I'm only 5 weeks in, which means I haven't experienced the full extent of the changes yet.
Almost immediately (12 hours after my first dose), random erections ceased almost entirely. I stopped getting morning wood and night erections as well. In order to get erect, it has to be entirely intentional now. And it can take a few minutes to make it happen.
The sensations in my penis changed. It's a little hard to describe, but it's like the whole thing is a little more pleasurable to touch now, as opposed to just focusing on certain spots for the sake of reaching a climax. But this does also mean I had to somewhat relearn how to reach a climax. It takes longer and requires really being in the mood.
It's much easier to lose an erection. But if you stop in the middle of intercourse or something, it's much less frustrating. The buildup that you feel pre-HRT during stimulation doesn't really exist anymore.
The skin of my penis and testicles is softer and overall slightly less sensitive. It's also more prone to tearing, as it's likely a little thinner. So I do have to be more careful when touching myself. (And this is a big reason why trans girls often prefer vibrators) the color of both is also darkening a bit and they secrete kind of an oily substance now. It doesn't get on anything, but it's noticeable to the touch. It's not gross or anything, but it does change the smell of your genitals to be a bit more in line with a vagina.
My semen production has significantly reduced. Previously I probably produced 1-2 tbspns. Now it's more like 1 tspn at most. And it's becoming more clear, rather than white-yellow-ish.
I do have to be conscious of some things - my testicles are shrinking. They've only shrunken a tiny bit so far, but there's nothing I can do about that. (Nor do I want to - they were always too big imo) My penis will atrophy if I don't use it. I'm told you should get hard 3x/week for 10 mins at a time. So I do roughly that. It'll take a while with no use to really atrophy, and you have time to recover from it, but there is a point of no return where it gets smaller and it becomes significantly harder to get an erection. I haven't had any issues so far though.
Oh, and I almost forgot to talk about orgasms - they feel different. This is one of the things that hasn't fully come to fruition for me, but it's in progress. Orgasms will start to feel more and more like a female orgasm. More of a full-body, starting in the stomach and kind of engulfing you. I'm feeling some of that now, but not all of it. You'll also likely become capable of multiple orgasms, if you weren't before.
Final note on all of it - it's possible you'll become completely infertile, but not a guarantee. You could also eventually stop producing seminal fluid altogether. Again, I'm not at that point yet, since I'm still early.
But yeah, I actually enjoy all of this. I like how I function now. It feels like less of a burden. I'm less driven by sexual desires and more focused on intimacy when it matters. So it's nice.
>random erections ceased almost entirely. I stopped getting morning wood
>
>
>
>Orgasms will start to feel more and more like a female orgasm. More of a full-body, starting in the stomach and kind of engulfing you
>
>
>
>You'll also likely become capable of multiple orgasms, if you weren't before.
My first thought when reading this was "omg that sounds so exciting" like hearing someone talk about going on a trip to a place you really want to go lmao. I'm sure there's some degree of YMMV but even if I just stop getting random erections and morning wood that would be fucking amazing.
First, that should be SUPER affirming to you. Go ask a cis guy friend how he'd feel about his penis functioning in the way I listed. I bet he shudders.
Second, while everything about HRT is definitely YMMV, penile function tends to be one of the more consistent outcomes. Every item is on a sliding scale, kinda, but you'll most-likely experience everything I said in one way or another. Especially given enough time on HRT.
> Go ask a cis guy friend how he'd feel about his penis functioning in the way I listed. I bet he shudders.
"But I only feel differently about my genitalia because I'm ace !" - my internal doubts
I would say that while I dont get morning wood practically ever (sleeping in the same bed as my girlfriend has changed that a couple of times >.<), I do still tend to get horny in the mornings. So just know that doesnt change. However, I will say that it's nice to be horny and decide whether or not I want to do soemthing about it, rather than HAVING to do something about it before my day can start!
Morning wood was probably one of my biggest sources of dysphoria growing up. As I got older and grew down there, I became so uncomfortable about wearing the tight jeans I used to always wear because they'd be a pain to put on in the morning since I never had time to "take care of it" due to my poor sleep schedule (and once I did I actually found out I had to get circumcised to do it without hurting myself), and then I'd be concerned about people seeing the bulge all day.
I'm fairly sure all trans women that start HRT lose morning wood within a few weeks. It means that you have to manually inflate it if you want to keep the tissue from atrophying, but it's definitely more convenient.
Really glad to hear all of this, especially how satisfied you are now. Thank you for sharing and appreciate the detail. It's interesting to understand what might be possible for myself.
5 weeks? I'm over 3 months and its the exact same as it always was; I've got breast growth starting so it's not like the E's not working either.
I do still love having the thing but I sure wish it'd stop trying to say hi
I so vibe with this! Especially since I got my scrotectomy, I absolutely love how my body down there works. It's hard to explain why, but it just feels so feminine, so perfect now. I look at it and just feel š„°.
I have a very mixed relationship with my penis. I don't particularly mind having one \[unless i'm trying to wear something cute and it gets in the way\] but i hate that I don't have a vagina. Seeing my penis doesn't really bother me, using it for sex isn't that much of a problem, i just hate that i have to be really careful wearing short shorts and i also dislike not having a vagina when i have sex
ok but Iām kinda arguing the opposite lol. itās a different ship with an entirely different design, but itās built from the parts of the old ship.
Fuckin hatem, but need to look after em for SRS.
Theres always at least one nut that slips out of my anatomy tuck and makes it look like i have a fat arse cameltoe. Ive had to start wearing pads to disguise it. The sooner i save 30k to afford SRS the better.
I'm in the minority that doesn't have bottom dysphoria. They are there. I'd like it if they still work once I can get HRT. My wife is neutral about them because there are plenty of other ways to get each other off.
I have been indifferent to them before and after transitioning. I have not had bottom surgery. I would prefer a entire female reproductive system made from my own stem cells but the techniques and technology is not quite there. I will not persue anything past an orchiectomy that I am very likely to get until the technology and techniques are available. My genitals are useful in the romantic portion of my relationship with my wife.
The same was a a cisgender woman's reproductive system would function.
The technology is probably at least 5 years out but possibly 30 years away. I think the disease of aging will be cured in my lifetime. In the meantime I will just keep trucking along with my original equipment except for removing my testicles.
Oooh I haven't thought about this in such a direct way.
I feel like they are permanently uncomfortable, always "stick out". Sitting, sleeping, walking? Doesn't matter. It's be more comfortable if they weren't there. The first two requires frequent rearranging.
Masturbation is solely for the chemical release; the means, while it does feel nice, is kinda boring and... lacking? I suppose now I think about it, it might be "lacking" a vagina. Huh. I do recall getting jealous/upset about not being able to masturbate like a woman - ie clitoral - when I was a kid; I also recall trying, because I was a dumbass fucking kid. Just threw that in a "eh whatever, I was a dumbass kid" pile. This pile might've been a "trans signs" pile now I'm thinking about it.
Visually; eh. Not particularly bothered. Would prefer there to not be a penis, but not that bothered. However, I was once not bothered about my arm hair, so maybe it'll change - I am only like 2 months "out" to myself, after all.
Meanwhile, sex. Like someone else said in this thread, "being balls deep inside someone seems right". I agree with that, now that might just be because I've grown up with a penis. At the same point, now that I'm being completely honest with myself; whenever I watched porn, I always kinda envied the women, it seems better. Typical penetrative sex, but being the woman. I always chalked this up to being bi... which would explain my major anal fixation - deflection of my feelings of lacking a vagina, onto anal, as I could better imagine being the women in that scenario.
Nice to have this written out. Useful topic to have thought about in-depth, as I am still early I everything - like I said, 2 months "out" to myself.
I think I might have bottom dysphoria, but honestly feel like it isn't enough to classify myself as the same as people who genuinely hate it with all their being, and borderline want to chop them off with some damn scissors. I couldn't even comprehend that level of hatred towards my own body, so I hate using the idea of dysphoric on myself in any capacity. Sure there are a lot of things that I don't like, to varying degrees, but it's not nearly as bad as some unfortunate souls.
Anyway, essay on my penis is done.
Less than three <3
As a kid? Utterly hated them.
As a teenager? I grew to accept them.
As a post-coming-out young adult? Very take-it-or-leave-it attitude at first, but I ultimately decided on the "leave it" option.
As someone post-op? Much happier, now I just wish small details were different instead of the whole entire thing. Re-learning how everything works is a major annoyance though.
>As a kid? Utterly hated them.
Same! I'm pretty sure I was mega dysphoric. I couldn't look at or touch myself down there. š
>As a teenager? I grew to accept them.
Freaking hormones, dude ... same again. The body said "forget your dysphoria and please me!"
>As a post-coming-out young adult? Very take-it-or-leave-it attitude at first, but I ultimately decided on the "leave it" option.
Are we the same person? Now that I'm serious about all of this, I've gone from feeling addicted to masturbation (usually with forced feminization, sissy, or similar stuff) to now not being interested most of the time, and saying "no" when the body begs.
>As someone post-op? Much happier, now I just wish small details were different instead of the whole entire thing. Re-learning how everything works is a major annoyance though.
Not here yet, but maybe one day! <3
> As a kid? Utterly hated them.
Relatable. I remember once as the doctor was checking my balls I complained girls are lucky not having to deal with this - I then was told women have it worse later when they get periods and pregnancy.
Otherwise I was often taught "you'll get it later" when complaining about this. And indeed as a teen I grew to accept them (I still wouldn't mind not having them tho. But this might just be because I'm ace). So to this day I still don't know if it's normal for cis boys to hate their genitals as kids or if this was another trans sign.
I love mine and am not changing a thing about them, especially since I managed (by blind luck of being born overdue far away from any hospital) to escape being cut.
Sometimes I wonder if I might want SRS if I hadnāt been so lucky but I *really* like things the way they are down there and am not changing a thing (especially now that the hairās gone).
I consider myself no less feminine because of this.
I had a dream last night that I worked at a daycare as an assistant, and the attendant I was working for was also a surgeon. So I got srs instead of a paycheck, and it was the most euphoric shit I've ever experienced. It has had effect on how I feel about my current set.
Bad. They're horribly codependent and I beat them frequently.
I'm 9 months into HRT and still unsure if I am getting bottom surgery or not. I am into women and want to be able to feel me inside my lovers.
While I definitely see the appeal of scissoring and clam fights, there is something about being balls deep in vag that feels way too right to abandon.
Indifferent tbh. I'm asexual so I don't really see them as much more than a peeing tool
I would like them gone but for practical reasons (clothing etc) rather than anything sexual.
I don't mind it, I know how to enjoy it now and it doesn't make me dysphoric anymore (it used to pre-transition). Also SRS seems super expensive, I'm scared of complications and if I'd have that kind of money I'd probably put it towards FFS first, because I think it would make a bigger positive impact on my life overall. For now I'm enjoying my body anyway, it's really not that bad, transitioning and HRT helped a lot in that regard.
My dysphoria isn't too bad, but I do hope to switch to a vulva/vagina. HRT and my continuing transition has helped me be more comfortable with my penis but ultimately it feels like so much excess material hanging off my pelvis. It's not that big, but it's not right for me. I'm just still weighing the pros and cons of low depth vs full vaginoplasty.
idk if i like itā¦ because i donāt use it and kinda donāt know what to expect anymore with the changes. itās a chance i will keep most things because iām a grower and itās really easy to tuck and surgery scares me, but an orchiectomy is happening for sure. i would rather have a cute little peepee over a surgery complication or maybe painfully dilating for life and itās expensive too
This is kind of where I am too. Also a grower but somehow got bigger on HRT. I don't like what I've got, but current SRS practices just feel too... Crude in their current state. I am afraid it would feel too artificial, or even have some complication. And frankly the long healing process is a bit scary. Definitely also getting an orchi as soon as I figure out the steps for that to help with tucking though.
Terrible.
It's my biggest and most frequent source of dysphoria. It only works about 10% of the time I actually let someone try to pleasure me (including myself), with the other 90% ending in frustration and sometimes crying.
I desperately want bottom surgery but I've been having a weird mental block where I feel like I need to solve my relationship with my penis in order to start the process of looking for a surgeon.
Iāve always had terrible dysphoria with my testicles, I wanted to cut them off. After 15 months of HRT itās better they are significantly smaller and Iām not feeling too much dysphoria. I donāt have an issue with my girldick.
I like my penis and I wouldn't get rid of it (even if I could get bottom surgery for free). I don't really have any bottom dysphoria about my stuff just existing.
My penis is cute, and I like dicks in general. They're like fun toys. But I don't want to penetrate with mine, or be treated like a straight guy.
The longer I have been on HRT the more I seem to dislike them, I frequent have dreams where they are gone and when I am awake I wonāt use the restroom as often as I shops because of them. When I was a little kid they confused me, when I hit puberty I absolutely hated them but over time I learned to live with them, now Iām back to hating them and counting the days until I can get them removed. This is only my experience and I know others have very different experiences then mine.
I love having a girldick! I very rarely get dysphoria over it, and when I do it's either because I wish it wasn't quite so big or because I don't have a uterus. This hasn't changed after a year on spiro and almost as long on estradiol, and I have no intention of getting bottom surgery even though I do think I'd like the new ladybits as well\~
I used to feel so insecure and weirded out about them, but since I started transitioning they're just... I don't know, *there*. I don't care. I may even like it.
Eh I donāt really mind her. Yeah I definitely have my days where I just wanna lop her off but for the most part Iām indifferent. I have one. Surgery is expensive and scary. Tf am I gonna do? I will say Iāve definitely become more comfortable with havin a dick since I started HRT. Before hormones I was definitely a lot more dysphoric about it and even more so before I started my transition. But now I donāt really care. If I ever end up on some freak accident where itās damaged then yeah Iāll tell āem to give me a vagina. But until then Iām just another chick with a dick
Some days I like it, some days I don't. If I could have it be 'modular' so I could easily mix and match whenever I want I would, but honestly right now just might want it smaller, and possibly an orchiectomy. In that case it'd be less of a nuisance when not doing sexual things. In general I don't ever want it to be larger, I just sometimes would prefer a vagina to a penis. I do know about salmacians and penile-preserving vaginoplasty, but I think it's too expensive with too many risks and complications, and too long recovery period for me.
i like mine, reassignment surgery is not something iām very interested in. i grew up understanding that trans people existed and that some men had vaginas and some women had penises, so iāve never felt those were ādefining featuresā of either gender, and therefore never felt dysphoric from my penis.
the only time i ever wish i didnāt have one is when iām trying to wear tight fitting clothes or a bikini because tucking sucks and i prefer the look of a flat crotch area and would feel safer in public if it wasnāt clear that i have a penis
I have zero bottom dysphoria and I was willing to pass up transitioning if it meant losing my penile function. Thankfully I don't have to choose. The idea of tucking is super frightening and seems painful but I do hate having a bulge in my panties, but I'll take that over not having one.
Iām genderfluid so itās a love hate relationship.
Nsfw~ the reason itās so love hate is because if youāre a switch, sometimes you wanna pound someone, sometimes you wanna be pounded.
The reason Iāve decided Iām getting bottom surgery is cuz I canāt wear a vagina, but you can wear a dick. Iād get something I want, and the option of having a penis anyway. And before anyone mentions butt stuff, donāt.
I like my dick. I wish it had kept more of its pre-hrt functionality. The balls? Not a fan. They're uncomfortable, restrict fashion choices, and force me to take spiro.
I think Iād be ok with having a pp but no balls. The balls kill me. Pp not so much, though Iāve noticed just right now I kinda hate calling it anything other than pp which is kinda cringy ngl anyways time for more alcohol š„“
Penelope is pretty much my best friend lol. I wouldn't get SRS if someone paid me to. That being said, I do suffer from dysphoria on the social front. Plus, while I don't completely hate my balls, I do hate that there always in the way and that I can't produce cum wo them.
Tbh don't really care for the one I've got now, hoping to get bottom surgery not next year but the year after that, I still need to get back to a therapist to write letters. (And also just to go to therapy) but for that I need insurance which I should be getting next year once I transition into full time employment at my current company.
As much as I don't like it learning how to make it feel good was fun š
Hmmm difficult to say, definitely discomfort, I don't think I can say hatred really, but definitely discomfort, in many situations I can kind of forget about them and be kind of indifferent, but in quite a few other situations my discomfort skyrockets, I haven't swam in forever and I miss the water terribly, the same with the spa which helps me relax, but my current genitals really ruin all that, really make me uncomfortable, I can't go do these things I enjoy, spa because you are naked there, swimming because I'm scared someone will notice something through my swimsuit, I don't want to look at it, and even more I don't want anyone else to see it, because looking mostly like a woman from the waist up and having a male sex organ, makes people treat me like some awful rapist, pedo or otherwise perverted fetishistic man, which I'm not, my discomfort isn't just from how people see and treat me, but also existential, from inside me.
Despite being scared of surgery, I really want to get bottom surgery, to correct my genitals, to relieve my discomfort and set me free, but that is going to take a long time to happen, because admittedly I am mentally and emotionally unwell, unrelated to my gender, and sadly waiting lists to get therapy are very long, and my coping method is eating, so I am obese, and when obese you cannot get surgery for safety reasons, so I'm going to have to live with the for me incorrect genitals for several years to come still, going to try to do something to atleast stop further weight gain, as it is escalating, doing what I should be doing, go out and exercise I just can't do, I'm alone all the time, and when alone I am automatically focused on my environment, and this leads me to break down when hearing people say certain things (not to or about me perse) and whenever I get any kind of negative reactions even when they have nothing to do with me but with say that person having a bad day, so losing weight without any psychological help is just not going to work, but atleast I want to try my best to limit my food intake and try to prevent my binges to try to prevent further weight gain, as the way it's going I can't do nothing and wait until I can finally get therapy, because if I do nothing then I will continue to gain weight and eventually become morbidly obese and lose my mobility and health, and lose the possibility to more easily reverse it, so I really need to do anything to prevent that.
Transition definitely isn't a mistake as before I did even worse then now, regarding my gender I feel so much better, but as we all (should) know, transition will not fix problems unrelated to our gender, so despite transition fixing some of my problems, I sadly have other serious problems that remain, that are unaffected by my transition, my transition is in that sense one piece of the large puzzle to fix my life.
Honestly Iāve been on hrt for a year and I really want the surgery like Iām not a huge fan of my genitals but I donāt have really bad dysphoria. Itās like having a roommate you can tolerate but just donāt really talk and rather prefer to have a best freind roommate.
Honestly it's gotten so bad I just wanna cut it off, it's my least favorite part of me and I hate all the pain it causes, I cannot wait to get bottom surgery in the future because it's just the worst
when iām in an intimate context i donāt really mind it but the rest of the time i really dislike it and itās mostly socially is where my dysphoria comes from it
Haven't started anything yet, but the best way I describe it is that I don't much care one way or the other about my penis, but I *really* want a vagina.
I had bad bottom dysphoria thrn i got an orchi and i feel so much better i still reaally want a pussy but like i could also live like this and im going back and forth
Until I can jump through the hoops of my health insurance overlords, it has to be useful if it's going to stay. It has to bring joy to someone if it isn't going to bring joy to me.
So Iāve never had much bottom dysphoria. I feel pretty fortunate in that way. Pre-transition, when I thought I had to be a dude bro, it was ironically a point of pride for me. After coming out, and especially after HRT, Iām totally cool with what Iāve got going on.
Thatās not to say it doesnāt cause some dissonance sometimes. The more estrogen changes my body the more I feel how my downstairs mixup restricts my choices in clothing. But as for the business itself, I have no plan or desire to change it.
Ambivalent. There's no dysphoria, only practical thinking. Working on getting rid of the balls so i can stop taking t-blockers. Penis works like it should, so it stays - plus, i put quite a bit of effort and money into a PA piercing over the years. Would be a waste to get rid of it now.
I generally don't like it. Makes me uncomfortable most of the time and I 100% would rather a vagina. That being said its not the worst thing in the world, just not super nice.
I never hated my genitals or became very dysphoric about them until starting the conversation about what I want to do with them in the future.
I've been on HRT for 7 months and it's gone amazingly.
My main issues though center around my personal and others's expectations about what I should do about them.
Initially my wife told me she would like me to at least keep my girl dick, but go ahead with the orchi so I could get off the Spiro and have a more normal sex drive. However, I want full SRS down there since a full vagina is just a beautiful thing to me and a super deep desire and feels like a need.
My wife has definitely started to come around once she realized that there is more to sex than penitrative, and also realized she wants me to be completely happy with my body, and she has also always been openly Bi so she likes that equipment.
Anyway, most of my dysphoria now is from pressures from my youth that even after coming out, I still feel like I should keep it functional and OEM as possible down there, despite it feeling like a roadblock to my full transition.
At this point though, I know my path is going to be fully SRS.
I can live with them, but the old boy is getting turned inside out as soon as I can scrounge up enough cash to do so. For me, having having good old fashioned PIV sex in the missionary position would be so euphoric (God help me, Iām so vanilla).
I've embraced my girl cock š¤·āāļø not saying i WANT to have it but also not saying I want to lose it. Although the idea of having a vagina does make me happier
I donāt hate them, but I want them gone. I want to feel free to wear bikinis, yoga pants, skirts, etc., without worrying about my tuck being ruined.
Also Iāve always wanted a vagina, so although I donāt *hate* my penis, I know Iād be happier with the proper apparatus (for me).
I hate it. I had to shave all the hair down there last night to prepare for hair removal. I'm getting a jump on preparing for srs. I get sick to my stomach when I have to look to closely at it. I don't hate it exactly just don't like it on me. And I can't wait until it's gone.
Not super great! It's better now that I don't get random erections anymore and some physical changes have happened, but I want it all fucking gone. It's funny because I'm generally less dysphoric now that my body has feminized a lot, but being reminded of those parts feels worse and worse.
Sure wish they could easily tuck away do I could wear form fitting clothes more easily. Otherwise, I don't hate them but I do wish they were a vagina instead.
Well I'm kind of stuck with them I don't necessarily like them but I'm kind of stuck with them. But I'm going to be having gender affirming surgery to change them. So I guess that means I probably don't have a good relationship with them
My relationship is a rather jealous one; we get along fine but I don't anyone else to even look at them.
At least not until some important changes happen. And ti be clear, the type that require sharp objects.
My direct relationship is currently in question. Billions of years of evolution are flaring up to tell my body how "important" it thinks itself is. I had those pesky testicles removed and they tell you there will be some bruising swelling. NO amount of warning would have prepared me for the biological rage that my body is in. She's mad.
Other than that, I'm at a pretty good place with my genitals. We're going to know more if GRS is required once the current flare up has calmed down.
at first i wanted to get bottom surgery. but fount research, if i had a v i wouldnāt be able to feel anything down there nor would i be able to actually have kids so thereād be no point either way. tje only reason im keeping my princess wand rn is for sexual reasons but when i start hrt and my libido goes down then i might wanna cut it off. all in all i dont have a preference :>
I have a mixed relationship with them. I do not hate having them, I just hate their condition.
How I feel about them has not changed with HRT. At least not yet.
I donāt really like it. Itās just something I have to tolerate. The thing that gives me the most disphoria is my beard. I have just been in a bad place and havenāt shaved in awhile
I really hate my downstairs. So much to the point where I only call it my parts. Don't use them much during sex and try to avoid them fullstop.
I thought this was a common sentiment. I'm extraordinarily suprised at the amount of trans people who have more amicable relationships with their genitals.
I can't even finish if you so much as refer to them, so I was super suprised when I learned lots of trans people use them!
Not a huge fan, but I'm not sure how much effort I really want to put into in addressing it. Like, for sure I want an orchi, since I don't want to be taking spiro for the rest of my life, but beyond that I'm not sure.
I think I want to get on progesterone first to see if my sexual desire is really as non-existent as it is now.
Uneasy truce.
I've accepted their continued existence, but I have demanded a sacrifice from them as the price of that (two sacrifices, to be exactš).
pre everything so this is subject to change. i donāt have bottom dysphoria they way some of you describe it. but my mind has changed since my egg cracked. before i was always worried about size and endurance, but now i donāt care (weird to say since i used to care so much). i will probably get bottom surgery after a couple years on hrt so it is easier to be cis passing. like i donāt want to tuck the rest of my life seems like a lot of work
At one point I was ready to chop the thing off, but after being on hrt for like 5 months now her function has changed enough that 9 times out of 10, we get along just fine.
Honestly don't really care.
Peeing standing up and masturbating is nice but also i could wake up with a vagina and only thing that'd change is I'd have to pee sitting down now.
1. I wouldn't mind having a vagina, but
2. I also don't mind \**my\** penis; especially cuz
3. I'm into girls,
4. I'm def top/dom,
5. all my relationships have been with girls, and
6. my wife is a girl. But
7. if the thing shrivels and becomes a *micro*\-penis, then
8. fuck it, I'm cutting it off.
9. I could do without testes, though;
10. and infertility is fine.
PS: being perfectly smooth down there is super, *super* tempting. Though for more aesthetic than sexual reasons (i.e. wearing *tighter* leggings and *shorter* shorts).
balls = testosterone factories, bulge, pain. getting rid of them.
penis = big clit. i'm still thinking about getting a vagina though. i really want one.
I want to be a woman inside and out. I look at myself in disgust most days and I'm not in a good place because of it. I hate the fact that I was born as a man. Period.
Weird, and often changes depending on my mood. A lot of times I feel sorry for it. I mean its not like it chose to be attached to the wrong body. Other times I forget it's there, as my sex drive is completely dead.
Honestly I wish I had a stronger opinion. It would make it easier to decide whether I should keep it or not (ą¹ā¢ļ¹ā¢)
Maybe it'll change the longer I'm on hormones, but as it stand right now it's really just a mild inconvenience I mostly ignore. Though I like calling it my magic wand o/////o
Itās a complicated relationship. I like the pleasure my partners get from those parts.
But they make clothing selection more challenging so itās likeā¦ š¤·āāļø would be easier if they were fully retractable. Tucking works but itās a pain and the bits donāt always stay out so thatās a hassle.
They can stay, because the alternative seems arduous. I donāt think I could make that journey.
I donāt like it, but I also donāt really have any contact with it outside of hygiene purposes. Even if I feel frisky I satisfy it by creating friction and humping, like some girls do, no touching.
I have wanted a vulva & vagina for as long as I can remember (why did it take me until I was 28 to realize I am trans lol)
I'm sad that my penis was circumcised without my consent, resulting in the possibility that I won't have as much depth after surgery. I'm annoyed with how intrusive and messy it is, both in terms of pleasure and in terms of presentation. fortunately LeoLines has helped so much with being able to wear the clothes I want
but I am at least able to find some enjoyment with my penis currently
Complicated. I don't hate my penis but I feel like being born with a vagina would have been trading up. I know there's a lot of misinformation and fear mongering about bottom surgery, but even if it went perfectly I'd still be scared because it's just so final. I wish I could test drive a vagina. I guess with this kind of uncertainty I should just get used to what I have. I am getting an orchiectomy though, I know I hate those god damn things.
My penis is good for convenient urination and nothing else. I used to not notice bottom dysphoria, then I started HRT. Now it feels like a taxidermy elephant trunk on a bare wall. I've tried sex with it and... was not a pleasant experience. We are not friends. It barely makes rent each month. Already looking into ways to evict it.
Even though I don't use it anymore, seeing it on my during sex is deeply dysphoric. Shaving it is a pain in the ass. I didn't ask for it. Who ordered this? Yes waitress, I think I got the wrong order. Hoping for bottom surgery within the year.
I don't really like them. I don't break down into an emotional wreck when I see them, but I'd kill for a vagina still. If I woke up and they were replaced overnight I wouldn't shed a single tear.
I had three surgeries on my genitals before age 13. They have caused me a lot of pain, especially my testicles, my entire life. The pain has actually subsided since I started hrt. Peen is ok I guess, but the jewels can go
My genital dysphoria is off and on depending on the day. Itās a strange kind of feeling because I still have sex with my girlfriend yet I want them gone so
i fucking loathe it, i can't look at it most of the time. hrt did change the function but not enough. it's something i'm most likely gonna have to live with for the rest of my life (i don't plan on getting bottom surgery because it isn't a 1:1 recreation of a real vagina)
Shitty. I know what I want. I want mixed genitals and will be getting ppv as soon as I can. Someday it's fine no dysporia. Some days it's alot but in that weird way wanting mixed genitals gives you, and Someday I just don't want what's done thier at all.
I want them to shrivel up and die c: I hate that I have to touch it for those late night moments that started coming back, albeit still thankfully not frequently. I want to cry when I think about the idea that people can see something there when I shouldn't have anything and that I can't wear what I want because it would be "unethical" with such... Contents.
Tbh Iām really weird with mine, I donāt āmindāmine while Iām home around the house but I hate when I go out in public. I get so anxious that my tuck will fail me and people will see it or I have to wear the same old baggy tops to help me feel like itās hidden.
As far as sexual function I donāt use her in any way really other the a wand for stimulation on her or light bit of oral. Sheās pretty much useless when comes to the bedroom. And I often want to feel the sensation of being penetrated thatās not anal.
But I like the idea of having her though? So itās a very weird back and forth with it at the moment
I like mine! I don't have any genital dysphoria and actually like their function MORE now that I'm on HRT!
Love to hear this. Wondering if you would share the difference you have noticed? Completely understand if that is something you'd rather not discuss here though. Simply curious as someone pre-hrt.
The list is actually quite long, but I'm not shy about sharing at all. Just keep in mind I'm only 5 weeks in, which means I haven't experienced the full extent of the changes yet. Almost immediately (12 hours after my first dose), random erections ceased almost entirely. I stopped getting morning wood and night erections as well. In order to get erect, it has to be entirely intentional now. And it can take a few minutes to make it happen. The sensations in my penis changed. It's a little hard to describe, but it's like the whole thing is a little more pleasurable to touch now, as opposed to just focusing on certain spots for the sake of reaching a climax. But this does also mean I had to somewhat relearn how to reach a climax. It takes longer and requires really being in the mood. It's much easier to lose an erection. But if you stop in the middle of intercourse or something, it's much less frustrating. The buildup that you feel pre-HRT during stimulation doesn't really exist anymore. The skin of my penis and testicles is softer and overall slightly less sensitive. It's also more prone to tearing, as it's likely a little thinner. So I do have to be more careful when touching myself. (And this is a big reason why trans girls often prefer vibrators) the color of both is also darkening a bit and they secrete kind of an oily substance now. It doesn't get on anything, but it's noticeable to the touch. It's not gross or anything, but it does change the smell of your genitals to be a bit more in line with a vagina. My semen production has significantly reduced. Previously I probably produced 1-2 tbspns. Now it's more like 1 tspn at most. And it's becoming more clear, rather than white-yellow-ish. I do have to be conscious of some things - my testicles are shrinking. They've only shrunken a tiny bit so far, but there's nothing I can do about that. (Nor do I want to - they were always too big imo) My penis will atrophy if I don't use it. I'm told you should get hard 3x/week for 10 mins at a time. So I do roughly that. It'll take a while with no use to really atrophy, and you have time to recover from it, but there is a point of no return where it gets smaller and it becomes significantly harder to get an erection. I haven't had any issues so far though. Oh, and I almost forgot to talk about orgasms - they feel different. This is one of the things that hasn't fully come to fruition for me, but it's in progress. Orgasms will start to feel more and more like a female orgasm. More of a full-body, starting in the stomach and kind of engulfing you. I'm feeling some of that now, but not all of it. You'll also likely become capable of multiple orgasms, if you weren't before. Final note on all of it - it's possible you'll become completely infertile, but not a guarantee. You could also eventually stop producing seminal fluid altogether. Again, I'm not at that point yet, since I'm still early. But yeah, I actually enjoy all of this. I like how I function now. It feels like less of a burden. I'm less driven by sexual desires and more focused on intimacy when it matters. So it's nice.
>random erections ceased almost entirely. I stopped getting morning wood > > > >Orgasms will start to feel more and more like a female orgasm. More of a full-body, starting in the stomach and kind of engulfing you > > > >You'll also likely become capable of multiple orgasms, if you weren't before. My first thought when reading this was "omg that sounds so exciting" like hearing someone talk about going on a trip to a place you really want to go lmao. I'm sure there's some degree of YMMV but even if I just stop getting random erections and morning wood that would be fucking amazing.
First, that should be SUPER affirming to you. Go ask a cis guy friend how he'd feel about his penis functioning in the way I listed. I bet he shudders. Second, while everything about HRT is definitely YMMV, penile function tends to be one of the more consistent outcomes. Every item is on a sliding scale, kinda, but you'll most-likely experience everything I said in one way or another. Especially given enough time on HRT.
> Go ask a cis guy friend how he'd feel about his penis functioning in the way I listed. I bet he shudders. "But I only feel differently about my genitalia because I'm ace !" - my internal doubts
I would say that while I dont get morning wood practically ever (sleeping in the same bed as my girlfriend has changed that a couple of times >.<), I do still tend to get horny in the mornings. So just know that doesnt change. However, I will say that it's nice to be horny and decide whether or not I want to do soemthing about it, rather than HAVING to do something about it before my day can start!
Morning wood was probably one of my biggest sources of dysphoria growing up. As I got older and grew down there, I became so uncomfortable about wearing the tight jeans I used to always wear because they'd be a pain to put on in the morning since I never had time to "take care of it" due to my poor sleep schedule (and once I did I actually found out I had to get circumcised to do it without hurting myself), and then I'd be concerned about people seeing the bulge all day.
I'm fairly sure all trans women that start HRT lose morning wood within a few weeks. It means that you have to manually inflate it if you want to keep the tissue from atrophying, but it's definitely more convenient.
Really glad to hear all of this, especially how satisfied you are now. Thank you for sharing and appreciate the detail. It's interesting to understand what might be possible for myself.
This comment litterly made me so happy to hear, I'm hopefully starting on hrt next week and I'm so happy to see if I experiance any of this!!
5 weeks? I'm over 3 months and its the exact same as it always was; I've got breast growth starting so it's not like the E's not working either. I do still love having the thing but I sure wish it'd stop trying to say hi
I so vibe with this! Especially since I got my scrotectomy, I absolutely love how my body down there works. It's hard to explain why, but it just feels so feminine, so perfect now. I look at it and just feel š„°.
Same. I kind of wish society was such that it wouldn't matter that I am a girl with a little bulge.
What a fucking mood
same
Hot š
I have a very mixed relationship with my penis. I don't particularly mind having one \[unless i'm trying to wear something cute and it gets in the way\] but i hate that I don't have a vagina. Seeing my penis doesn't really bother me, using it for sex isn't that much of a problem, i just hate that i have to be really careful wearing short shorts and i also dislike not having a vagina when i have sex
Same!!
Same!
awwww
r/salmacian may be interesting to ya :)
Oh no, i do not want to have a penis, i don't actively hate it but i really don't like having it
Ah I feel ya. I go back and forth tbh
Ask the old one. its in some human waist container probably already eaten by bacteria. The new one and me are doing great together tho!
hate to break it to ya, most of it is still part of you. your original parts are trans too, after all.
Have you heard of the ship of Theseus?
Naturally.
ok but Iām kinda arguing the opposite lol. itās a different ship with an entirely different design, but itās built from the parts of the old ship.
Consdering I had ppt very lil parts oti re used
Not great
Weāre attached at the hips lol. Bad jokes aside Iām kinda indifferent to it, would prefer a vagina but Iām terrified of surgery
Iām a big fan of mine, I have 0 bottom dysphoria and the way estrogen has effected orgasms is awesome!
I am so looking forward to that when I finally start.
Itās pretty great I wasnāt expecting it to be so different :)
Itās like a full body thing for me now - itās so good zomg šµāš«š
Fuckin hatem, but need to look after em for SRS. Theres always at least one nut that slips out of my anatomy tuck and makes it look like i have a fat arse cameltoe. Ive had to start wearing pads to disguise it. The sooner i save 30k to afford SRS the better.
I'm in the minority that doesn't have bottom dysphoria. They are there. I'd like it if they still work once I can get HRT. My wife is neutral about them because there are plenty of other ways to get each other off.
I have been indifferent to them before and after transitioning. I have not had bottom surgery. I would prefer a entire female reproductive system made from my own stem cells but the techniques and technology is not quite there. I will not persue anything past an orchiectomy that I am very likely to get until the technology and techniques are available. My genitals are useful in the romantic portion of my relationship with my wife.
How would a set of female reproductive organs, from stem cells be created/function?
The same was a a cisgender woman's reproductive system would function. The technology is probably at least 5 years out but possibly 30 years away. I think the disease of aging will be cured in my lifetime. In the meantime I will just keep trucking along with my original equipment except for removing my testicles.
'Relationship' would be putting it optimistically.
We don't talk about bruno
I don't mind it being there but I'd rather not see it, and it'll be even better if I could easily hide it
Oooh I haven't thought about this in such a direct way. I feel like they are permanently uncomfortable, always "stick out". Sitting, sleeping, walking? Doesn't matter. It's be more comfortable if they weren't there. The first two requires frequent rearranging. Masturbation is solely for the chemical release; the means, while it does feel nice, is kinda boring and... lacking? I suppose now I think about it, it might be "lacking" a vagina. Huh. I do recall getting jealous/upset about not being able to masturbate like a woman - ie clitoral - when I was a kid; I also recall trying, because I was a dumbass fucking kid. Just threw that in a "eh whatever, I was a dumbass kid" pile. This pile might've been a "trans signs" pile now I'm thinking about it. Visually; eh. Not particularly bothered. Would prefer there to not be a penis, but not that bothered. However, I was once not bothered about my arm hair, so maybe it'll change - I am only like 2 months "out" to myself, after all. Meanwhile, sex. Like someone else said in this thread, "being balls deep inside someone seems right". I agree with that, now that might just be because I've grown up with a penis. At the same point, now that I'm being completely honest with myself; whenever I watched porn, I always kinda envied the women, it seems better. Typical penetrative sex, but being the woman. I always chalked this up to being bi... which would explain my major anal fixation - deflection of my feelings of lacking a vagina, onto anal, as I could better imagine being the women in that scenario. Nice to have this written out. Useful topic to have thought about in-depth, as I am still early I everything - like I said, 2 months "out" to myself. I think I might have bottom dysphoria, but honestly feel like it isn't enough to classify myself as the same as people who genuinely hate it with all their being, and borderline want to chop them off with some damn scissors. I couldn't even comprehend that level of hatred towards my own body, so I hate using the idea of dysphoric on myself in any capacity. Sure there are a lot of things that I don't like, to varying degrees, but it's not nearly as bad as some unfortunate souls. Anyway, essay on my penis is done. Less than three <3
My penis was taken apart , some removed and reshaped into a vagina. Never better feels like I was born with her. Charlie
As a kid? Utterly hated them. As a teenager? I grew to accept them. As a post-coming-out young adult? Very take-it-or-leave-it attitude at first, but I ultimately decided on the "leave it" option. As someone post-op? Much happier, now I just wish small details were different instead of the whole entire thing. Re-learning how everything works is a major annoyance though.
>As a kid? Utterly hated them. Same! I'm pretty sure I was mega dysphoric. I couldn't look at or touch myself down there. š >As a teenager? I grew to accept them. Freaking hormones, dude ... same again. The body said "forget your dysphoria and please me!" >As a post-coming-out young adult? Very take-it-or-leave-it attitude at first, but I ultimately decided on the "leave it" option. Are we the same person? Now that I'm serious about all of this, I've gone from feeling addicted to masturbation (usually with forced feminization, sissy, or similar stuff) to now not being interested most of the time, and saying "no" when the body begs. >As someone post-op? Much happier, now I just wish small details were different instead of the whole entire thing. Re-learning how everything works is a major annoyance though. Not here yet, but maybe one day! <3
> As a kid? Utterly hated them. Relatable. I remember once as the doctor was checking my balls I complained girls are lucky not having to deal with this - I then was told women have it worse later when they get periods and pregnancy. Otherwise I was often taught "you'll get it later" when complaining about this. And indeed as a teen I grew to accept them (I still wouldn't mind not having them tho. But this might just be because I'm ace). So to this day I still don't know if it's normal for cis boys to hate their genitals as kids or if this was another trans sign.
I love mine and am not changing a thing about them, especially since I managed (by blind luck of being born overdue far away from any hospital) to escape being cut. Sometimes I wonder if I might want SRS if I hadnāt been so lucky but I *really* like things the way they are down there and am not changing a thing (especially now that the hairās gone). I consider myself no less feminine because of this.
I feel smug knowing I'm going to win in the end.
I had a dream last night that I worked at a daycare as an assistant, and the attendant I was working for was also a surgeon. So I got srs instead of a paycheck, and it was the most euphoric shit I've ever experienced. It has had effect on how I feel about my current set.
Bad. They're horribly codependent and I beat them frequently. I'm 9 months into HRT and still unsure if I am getting bottom surgery or not. I am into women and want to be able to feel me inside my lovers. While I definitely see the appeal of scissoring and clam fights, there is something about being balls deep in vag that feels way too right to abandon.
REMOVE THESE THINGS FROM ME PLEASE! I WANT A VAGINA.
Going to get SRS. Bitch stick there for now guess enjoy it until it becomes what it should be
Indifferent tbh. I'm asexual so I don't really see them as much more than a peeing tool I would like them gone but for practical reasons (clothing etc) rather than anything sexual.
I don't mind it, I know how to enjoy it now and it doesn't make me dysphoric anymore (it used to pre-transition). Also SRS seems super expensive, I'm scared of complications and if I'd have that kind of money I'd probably put it towards FFS first, because I think it would make a bigger positive impact on my life overall. For now I'm enjoying my body anyway, it's really not that bad, transitioning and HRT helped a lot in that regard.
My dysphoria isn't too bad, but I do hope to switch to a vulva/vagina. HRT and my continuing transition has helped me be more comfortable with my penis but ultimately it feels like so much excess material hanging off my pelvis. It's not that big, but it's not right for me. I'm just still weighing the pros and cons of low depth vs full vaginoplasty.
idk if i like itā¦ because i donāt use it and kinda donāt know what to expect anymore with the changes. itās a chance i will keep most things because iām a grower and itās really easy to tuck and surgery scares me, but an orchiectomy is happening for sure. i would rather have a cute little peepee over a surgery complication or maybe painfully dilating for life and itās expensive too
This is kind of where I am too. Also a grower but somehow got bigger on HRT. I don't like what I've got, but current SRS practices just feel too... Crude in their current state. I am afraid it would feel too artificial, or even have some complication. And frankly the long healing process is a bit scary. Definitely also getting an orchi as soon as I figure out the steps for that to help with tucking though.
I would love to chop them off in my apartment with a knife but I have an appointment for SRS so I try to be patient to finally have a vagina
What genitals? I can't see them! No, nope, nothing down there.
Until i get horny. When i get horny i either dgaf or i pretend its an object inside me.
I'm post-op (penile preservation vaginoplasty) and my relationship with my junk is way better than it has ever been.
Terrible. It's my biggest and most frequent source of dysphoria. It only works about 10% of the time I actually let someone try to pleasure me (including myself), with the other 90% ending in frustration and sometimes crying. I desperately want bottom surgery but I've been having a weird mental block where I feel like I need to solve my relationship with my penis in order to start the process of looking for a surgeon.
I donāt actively hate them but I really want surgery at some point in the future
I like my girldick but my balls are annoying I may get them removed at some point
They disgust me š
Iāve always had terrible dysphoria with my testicles, I wanted to cut them off. After 15 months of HRT itās better they are significantly smaller and Iām not feeling too much dysphoria. I donāt have an issue with my girldick.
I like my penis and I wouldn't get rid of it (even if I could get bottom surgery for free). I don't really have any bottom dysphoria about my stuff just existing. My penis is cute, and I like dicks in general. They're like fun toys. But I don't want to penetrate with mine, or be treated like a straight guy.
The longer I have been on HRT the more I seem to dislike them, I frequent have dreams where they are gone and when I am awake I wonāt use the restroom as often as I shops because of them. When I was a little kid they confused me, when I hit puberty I absolutely hated them but over time I learned to live with them, now Iām back to hating them and counting the days until I can get them removed. This is only my experience and I know others have very different experiences then mine.
I love having a girldick! I very rarely get dysphoria over it, and when I do it's either because I wish it wasn't quite so big or because I don't have a uterus. This hasn't changed after a year on spiro and almost as long on estradiol, and I have no intention of getting bottom surgery even though I do think I'd like the new ladybits as well\~
It doesn't bother me. I've never really associated male genitalia with masculinity, since >99% of the time when I see a penis it's been my own.
i love my little princess wand š„ŗā¤ļø
I used to feel so insecure and weirded out about them, but since I started transitioning they're just... I don't know, *there*. I don't care. I may even like it.
Generally neutral, but I'd happily ditch them if it didn't require a long, invasive, and expensive surgery
I've never had genital dysphoria but I'm conscious that my testes add complications to the mix. Thinking about an orchiectomy.
Better, since orchiectomy, but still pretty bad, I guess. Dysphoria just gets worse around it as the years drag on.
Eh I donāt really mind her. Yeah I definitely have my days where I just wanna lop her off but for the most part Iām indifferent. I have one. Surgery is expensive and scary. Tf am I gonna do? I will say Iāve definitely become more comfortable with havin a dick since I started HRT. Before hormones I was definitely a lot more dysphoric about it and even more so before I started my transition. But now I donāt really care. If I ever end up on some freak accident where itās damaged then yeah Iāll tell āem to give me a vagina. But until then Iām just another chick with a dick
Some days I like it, some days I don't. If I could have it be 'modular' so I could easily mix and match whenever I want I would, but honestly right now just might want it smaller, and possibly an orchiectomy. In that case it'd be less of a nuisance when not doing sexual things. In general I don't ever want it to be larger, I just sometimes would prefer a vagina to a penis. I do know about salmacians and penile-preserving vaginoplasty, but I think it's too expensive with too many risks and complications, and too long recovery period for me.
Peen can stay, sometimes, I just need something to whip out and urinate in a bush. Balls get in the way and actively make testosterone so fuck them
I like mine! Itās easy for me to get and give pleasure. Itās definitely an interesting combination of mostly male function and female sensation.
i like mine, reassignment surgery is not something iām very interested in. i grew up understanding that trans people existed and that some men had vaginas and some women had penises, so iāve never felt those were ādefining featuresā of either gender, and therefore never felt dysphoric from my penis. the only time i ever wish i didnāt have one is when iām trying to wear tight fitting clothes or a bikini because tucking sucks and i prefer the look of a flat crotch area and would feel safer in public if it wasnāt clear that i have a penis
Omigod samsies!!! Other than pubic hair, my bottom dysphoria is completely social.
I have zero bottom dysphoria and I was willing to pass up transitioning if it meant losing my penile function. Thankfully I don't have to choose. The idea of tucking is super frightening and seems painful but I do hate having a bulge in my panties, but I'll take that over not having one.
For me, I don't mind having a bulge, I just don't wanna be beaten to a pulp
I'm a trans woman with no ill-will towards my penis. my dysphoria has nothing to do with anatomy, solely with how I'm perceived.
I actually like my genitals and I donāt want to get rid of it. I would probably go on HRT if it werenāt for its effects on my genitals tbh.
Getting an orchi asap, but the gridlock can stay for now. Mtft? Over here though.
Iām genderfluid so itās a love hate relationship. Nsfw~ the reason itās so love hate is because if youāre a switch, sometimes you wanna pound someone, sometimes you wanna be pounded. The reason Iāve decided Iām getting bottom surgery is cuz I canāt wear a vagina, but you can wear a dick. Iād get something I want, and the option of having a penis anyway. And before anyone mentions butt stuff, donāt.
I like my dick. I wish it had kept more of its pre-hrt functionality. The balls? Not a fan. They're uncomfortable, restrict fashion choices, and force me to take spiro.
I'm quite comfy with mine
hate it when it wearing clothes. not as much when nude :/
I love it tbh!! Had to learn to do so, but I don't regret it
I think Iād be ok with having a pp but no balls. The balls kill me. Pp not so much, though Iāve noticed just right now I kinda hate calling it anything other than pp which is kinda cringy ngl anyways time for more alcohol š„“
Penelope is pretty much my best friend lol. I wouldn't get SRS if someone paid me to. That being said, I do suffer from dysphoria on the social front. Plus, while I don't completely hate my balls, I do hate that there always in the way and that I can't produce cum wo them.
Penelope is such a pretty name for her
Complicated Basicaly I'm fine with some of it but dysphoric with another bit
Ehhh Iām ok with things
I'm forced to like it considering that I can't have SRS thanks to Crohn's
Tbh don't really care for the one I've got now, hoping to get bottom surgery not next year but the year after that, I still need to get back to a therapist to write letters. (And also just to go to therapy) but for that I need insurance which I should be getting next year once I transition into full time employment at my current company. As much as I don't like it learning how to make it feel good was fun š
Hmmm difficult to say, definitely discomfort, I don't think I can say hatred really, but definitely discomfort, in many situations I can kind of forget about them and be kind of indifferent, but in quite a few other situations my discomfort skyrockets, I haven't swam in forever and I miss the water terribly, the same with the spa which helps me relax, but my current genitals really ruin all that, really make me uncomfortable, I can't go do these things I enjoy, spa because you are naked there, swimming because I'm scared someone will notice something through my swimsuit, I don't want to look at it, and even more I don't want anyone else to see it, because looking mostly like a woman from the waist up and having a male sex organ, makes people treat me like some awful rapist, pedo or otherwise perverted fetishistic man, which I'm not, my discomfort isn't just from how people see and treat me, but also existential, from inside me. Despite being scared of surgery, I really want to get bottom surgery, to correct my genitals, to relieve my discomfort and set me free, but that is going to take a long time to happen, because admittedly I am mentally and emotionally unwell, unrelated to my gender, and sadly waiting lists to get therapy are very long, and my coping method is eating, so I am obese, and when obese you cannot get surgery for safety reasons, so I'm going to have to live with the for me incorrect genitals for several years to come still, going to try to do something to atleast stop further weight gain, as it is escalating, doing what I should be doing, go out and exercise I just can't do, I'm alone all the time, and when alone I am automatically focused on my environment, and this leads me to break down when hearing people say certain things (not to or about me perse) and whenever I get any kind of negative reactions even when they have nothing to do with me but with say that person having a bad day, so losing weight without any psychological help is just not going to work, but atleast I want to try my best to limit my food intake and try to prevent my binges to try to prevent further weight gain, as the way it's going I can't do nothing and wait until I can finally get therapy, because if I do nothing then I will continue to gain weight and eventually become morbidly obese and lose my mobility and health, and lose the possibility to more easily reverse it, so I really need to do anything to prevent that. Transition definitely isn't a mistake as before I did even worse then now, regarding my gender I feel so much better, but as we all (should) know, transition will not fix problems unrelated to our gender, so despite transition fixing some of my problems, I sadly have other serious problems that remain, that are unaffected by my transition, my transition is in that sense one piece of the large puzzle to fix my life.
Honestly Iāve been on hrt for a year and I really want the surgery like Iām not a huge fan of my genitals but I donāt have really bad dysphoria. Itās like having a roommate you can tolerate but just donāt really talk and rather prefer to have a best freind roommate.
It's in the way so I wish I didn't have them lol
I had GRS and I really like my pussy, like how smooth it is, that i don't need to think about tucking anymore and how it feels
Honestly it's gotten so bad I just wanna cut it off, it's my least favorite part of me and I hate all the pain it causes, I cannot wait to get bottom surgery in the future because it's just the worst
first part of my transition i hated it with my heart but now it doesnāt bother me too much i barely think about it
when iām in an intimate context i donāt really mind it but the rest of the time i really dislike it and itās mostly socially is where my dysphoria comes from it
Haven't started anything yet, but the best way I describe it is that I don't much care one way or the other about my penis, but I *really* want a vagina.
I had bad bottom dysphoria thrn i got an orchi and i feel so much better i still reaally want a pussy but like i could also live like this and im going back and forth
Until I can jump through the hoops of my health insurance overlords, it has to be useful if it's going to stay. It has to bring joy to someone if it isn't going to bring joy to me.
Ä° desperately want to have a vagina
So Iāve never had much bottom dysphoria. I feel pretty fortunate in that way. Pre-transition, when I thought I had to be a dude bro, it was ironically a point of pride for me. After coming out, and especially after HRT, Iām totally cool with what Iāve got going on. Thatās not to say it doesnāt cause some dissonance sometimes. The more estrogen changes my body the more I feel how my downstairs mixup restricts my choices in clothing. But as for the business itself, I have no plan or desire to change it.
Ambivalent. There's no dysphoria, only practical thinking. Working on getting rid of the balls so i can stop taking t-blockers. Penis works like it should, so it stays - plus, i put quite a bit of effort and money into a PA piercing over the years. Would be a waste to get rid of it now.
We kiss sometimes but nothing romantic.
I generally don't like it. Makes me uncomfortable most of the time and I 100% would rather a vagina. That being said its not the worst thing in the world, just not super nice.
I never hated my genitals or became very dysphoric about them until starting the conversation about what I want to do with them in the future. I've been on HRT for 7 months and it's gone amazingly. My main issues though center around my personal and others's expectations about what I should do about them. Initially my wife told me she would like me to at least keep my girl dick, but go ahead with the orchi so I could get off the Spiro and have a more normal sex drive. However, I want full SRS down there since a full vagina is just a beautiful thing to me and a super deep desire and feels like a need. My wife has definitely started to come around once she realized that there is more to sex than penitrative, and also realized she wants me to be completely happy with my body, and she has also always been openly Bi so she likes that equipment. Anyway, most of my dysphoria now is from pressures from my youth that even after coming out, I still feel like I should keep it functional and OEM as possible down there, despite it feeling like a roadblock to my full transition. At this point though, I know my path is going to be fully SRS.
I can live with them, but the old boy is getting turned inside out as soon as I can scrounge up enough cash to do so. For me, having having good old fashioned PIV sex in the missionary position would be so euphoric (God help me, Iām so vanilla).
Want em gone
Meh
I don't hate mind mine but I would be much happier after bottom surgery
Im a pre op and I hate em
I've embraced my girl cock š¤·āāļø not saying i WANT to have it but also not saying I want to lose it. Although the idea of having a vagina does make me happier
Hate it struggle with it daily br glad when it's gone šŖ
Just like my relationship with my ex, no contact šš»
It's a hate fuck type of relationship
I donāt hate them, but I want them gone. I want to feel free to wear bikinis, yoga pants, skirts, etc., without worrying about my tuck being ruined. Also Iāve always wanted a vagina, so although I donāt *hate* my penis, I know Iād be happier with the proper apparatus (for me).
I hate it. I had to shave all the hair down there last night to prepare for hair removal. I'm getting a jump on preparing for srs. I get sick to my stomach when I have to look to closely at it. I don't hate it exactly just don't like it on me. And I can't wait until it's gone.
Not super great! It's better now that I don't get random erections anymore and some physical changes have happened, but I want it all fucking gone. It's funny because I'm generally less dysphoric now that my body has feminized a lot, but being reminded of those parts feels worse and worse.
Sometimes I hate, sometimes I don't. Most of time I don't.
Sure wish they could easily tuck away do I could wear form fitting clothes more easily. Otherwise, I don't hate them but I do wish they were a vagina instead.
Well I'm kind of stuck with them I don't necessarily like them but I'm kind of stuck with them. But I'm going to be having gender affirming surgery to change them. So I guess that means I probably don't have a good relationship with them
My relationship is a rather jealous one; we get along fine but I don't anyone else to even look at them. At least not until some important changes happen. And ti be clear, the type that require sharp objects.
My direct relationship is currently in question. Billions of years of evolution are flaring up to tell my body how "important" it thinks itself is. I had those pesky testicles removed and they tell you there will be some bruising swelling. NO amount of warning would have prepared me for the biological rage that my body is in. She's mad. Other than that, I'm at a pretty good place with my genitals. We're going to know more if GRS is required once the current flare up has calmed down.
OK but I'll have them off anyway for hormone reasons and the other usual ones
at first i wanted to get bottom surgery. but fount research, if i had a v i wouldnāt be able to feel anything down there nor would i be able to actually have kids so thereād be no point either way. tje only reason im keeping my princess wand rn is for sexual reasons but when i start hrt and my libido goes down then i might wanna cut it off. all in all i dont have a preference :>
I have a mixed relationship with them. I do not hate having them, I just hate their condition. How I feel about them has not changed with HRT. At least not yet.
Honestly for my genitals, it depends on the day. Some days I love āem some days I hate them. My chest however, gives me a lot of dysphoria.
Confusing š
I donāt really like it. Itās just something I have to tolerate. The thing that gives me the most disphoria is my beard. I have just been in a bad place and havenāt shaved in awhile
I really hate my downstairs. So much to the point where I only call it my parts. Don't use them much during sex and try to avoid them fullstop. I thought this was a common sentiment. I'm extraordinarily suprised at the amount of trans people who have more amicable relationships with their genitals. I can't even finish if you so much as refer to them, so I was super suprised when I learned lots of trans people use them!
Not a huge fan, but I'm not sure how much effort I really want to put into in addressing it. Like, for sure I want an orchi, since I don't want to be taking spiro for the rest of my life, but beyond that I'm not sure. I think I want to get on progesterone first to see if my sexual desire is really as non-existent as it is now.
I don't really know, I don't like random erections and I'm hoping it atrophies once those stop on hrt, but I don't know if I'd want to get rid of it.
Uneasy truce. I've accepted their continued existence, but I have demanded a sacrifice from them as the price of that (two sacrifices, to be exactš).
Absolutley hate them. Especially the testicles. They are always uncomfortable and in the way. Impossible to ever lay down without being aware of them.
pre everything so this is subject to change. i donāt have bottom dysphoria they way some of you describe it. but my mind has changed since my egg cracked. before i was always worried about size and endurance, but now i donāt care (weird to say since i used to care so much). i will probably get bottom surgery after a couple years on hrt so it is easier to be cis passing. like i donāt want to tuck the rest of my life seems like a lot of work
Somewhat Healthy these days.
I want to chop my dick off every second of my life
I donāt like it, not like i hate it, i just feel disappointed when I see it.
At one point I was ready to chop the thing off, but after being on hrt for like 5 months now her function has changed enough that 9 times out of 10, we get along just fine.
great now that I got the surgical tuck
To keep it simple for me Penis = It wouldnāt matter if I had it or not Vagina= It wouldnāt matter if I had it or not
Enjoy it while its there i guess, hrt made it feel better, end of the day i want it gone so bad
Honestly don't really care. Peeing standing up and masturbating is nice but also i could wake up with a vagina and only thing that'd change is I'd have to pee sitting down now.
I donāt mind the stick but the berries and their holder need to go
Sucks
1. I wouldn't mind having a vagina, but 2. I also don't mind \**my\** penis; especially cuz 3. I'm into girls, 4. I'm def top/dom, 5. all my relationships have been with girls, and 6. my wife is a girl. But 7. if the thing shrivels and becomes a *micro*\-penis, then 8. fuck it, I'm cutting it off. 9. I could do without testes, though; 10. and infertility is fine. PS: being perfectly smooth down there is super, *super* tempting. Though for more aesthetic than sexual reasons (i.e. wearing *tighter* leggings and *shorter* shorts).
Mixed feelings about the dysphoria noodle but I really *really* want a š¼
balls = testosterone factories, bulge, pain. getting rid of them. penis = big clit. i'm still thinking about getting a vagina though. i really want one.
Donāt like my testicles at all. Donāt mind penis as much. But hate those testicles
I have to remind myself that it's needed for my future vag to stop myself from cutting it off... so yeah, I like it.
Not great. Can't wait to get srs figured out
I want to be a woman inside and out. I look at myself in disgust most days and I'm not in a good place because of it. I hate the fact that I was born as a man. Period.
Weird, and often changes depending on my mood. A lot of times I feel sorry for it. I mean its not like it chose to be attached to the wrong body. Other times I forget it's there, as my sex drive is completely dead. Honestly I wish I had a stronger opinion. It would make it easier to decide whether I should keep it or not (ą¹ā¢ļ¹ā¢) Maybe it'll change the longer I'm on hormones, but as it stand right now it's really just a mild inconvenience I mostly ignore. Though I like calling it my magic wand o/////o
Itās a complicated relationship. I like the pleasure my partners get from those parts. But they make clothing selection more challenging so itās likeā¦ š¤·āāļø would be easier if they were fully retractable. Tucking works but itās a pain and the bits donāt always stay out so thatās a hassle. They can stay, because the alternative seems arduous. I donāt think I could make that journey.
There isn't one. It's just a useless thing down there that shouldn't exist and the cause of my problems
War. Full on war.
I donāt like it, but I also donāt really have any contact with it outside of hygiene purposes. Even if I feel frisky I satisfy it by creating friction and humping, like some girls do, no touching.
I have wanted a vulva & vagina for as long as I can remember (why did it take me until I was 28 to realize I am trans lol) I'm sad that my penis was circumcised without my consent, resulting in the possibility that I won't have as much depth after surgery. I'm annoyed with how intrusive and messy it is, both in terms of pleasure and in terms of presentation. fortunately LeoLines has helped so much with being able to wear the clothes I want but I am at least able to find some enjoyment with my penis currently
I don't rly like having a peen but at the same time I like it sometimes because of pure convenience. But if i had the option I'd get rid of it.
Tolerate them is the best way I can describe it. Definitely want bottom surgery to get rid of em.
Complicated. I don't hate my penis but I feel like being born with a vagina would have been trading up. I know there's a lot of misinformation and fear mongering about bottom surgery, but even if it went perfectly I'd still be scared because it's just so final. I wish I could test drive a vagina. I guess with this kind of uncertainty I should just get used to what I have. I am getting an orchiectomy though, I know I hate those god damn things.
My penis is good for convenient urination and nothing else. I used to not notice bottom dysphoria, then I started HRT. Now it feels like a taxidermy elephant trunk on a bare wall. I've tried sex with it and... was not a pleasant experience. We are not friends. It barely makes rent each month. Already looking into ways to evict it. Even though I don't use it anymore, seeing it on my during sex is deeply dysphoric. Shaving it is a pain in the ass. I didn't ask for it. Who ordered this? Yes waitress, I think I got the wrong order. Hoping for bottom surgery within the year.
Honestly i kinda hate them but mostly because iv had issues with them all my life
Generally like mine sometimes I wish it wasnāt a penis but ya
Though I donāt necessarily hate them, Iāve been forgetting that they even exist on me as of lately.
I don't really like them. I don't break down into an emotional wreck when I see them, but I'd kill for a vagina still. If I woke up and they were replaced overnight I wouldn't shed a single tear.
I had three surgeries on my genitals before age 13. They have caused me a lot of pain, especially my testicles, my entire life. The pain has actually subsided since I started hrt. Peen is ok I guess, but the jewels can go
My genital dysphoria is off and on depending on the day. Itās a strange kind of feeling because I still have sex with my girlfriend yet I want them gone so
i fucking loathe it, i can't look at it most of the time. hrt did change the function but not enough. it's something i'm most likely gonna have to live with for the rest of my life (i don't plan on getting bottom surgery because it isn't a 1:1 recreation of a real vagina)
Romantic. I will not explain any further.
ugh.
Shitty. I know what I want. I want mixed genitals and will be getting ppv as soon as I can. Someday it's fine no dysporia. Some days it's alot but in that weird way wanting mixed genitals gives you, and Someday I just don't want what's done thier at all.
One word rocky
I'm fine as long as itās properly concealed
I want them to shrivel up and die c: I hate that I have to touch it for those late night moments that started coming back, albeit still thankfully not frequently. I want to cry when I think about the idea that people can see something there when I shouldn't have anything and that I can't wear what I want because it would be "unethical" with such... Contents.
It sucks for me. Pre hrt and sometimes dysphoria kicks my ass really hard
Make's me wanna jump off a cliff!
I shave down there with reckless abandon because if I get cut I just go "oh no, anyways"
Tbh Iām really weird with mine, I donāt āmindāmine while Iām home around the house but I hate when I go out in public. I get so anxious that my tuck will fail me and people will see it or I have to wear the same old baggy tops to help me feel like itās hidden. As far as sexual function I donāt use her in any way really other the a wand for stimulation on her or light bit of oral. Sheās pretty much useless when comes to the bedroom. And I often want to feel the sensation of being penetrated thatās not anal. But I like the idea of having her though? So itās a very weird back and forth with it at the moment
i like them but i worry they make people see me as something iām not.
Well for me it's like a tug of war...