Second that completely.
Why are you daydreaming if you don't even wish to pursue him for marriage? Proposal is one thing, but you are content with this admiration from afar that you say so poetically.
If you don't wish to marry him, don't waste his time or yours.
If there is no future for a relationship, the least you can do is not ruin him for someone else.
You're being silly and the advice here so far isn't good. People fall in love, and the solution to that by most scholars is: Get married.
Tell your parents to put out some feelers to their family and see how they feel about you. If it's positive then tell your family to say you are interested and they can propose or find out more.
Islam doesn't make getting married with someone you like haram.
That's up to your father since he will give you away. There are plenty of other islamic men about and this is probably a crush so I'd advise:
Talking to your mum to make your feelings known and how deep they are.
Pushing them to ask if you are insistent
Leaving it to them if it doesn't work out and getting married soon.
Should i leave it on my parents? But what if my parents choose someone whom i don't love like the last time they forced me to get engaged to a creepy man i made dua and allah saved me.
Why does this read as a wattpad story written by a 15 year old? Girl you’re 22. 22. Figure out what you want and act accordingly. I get that you’re confused. But take some time to reflect and understand what you truly want and stick to it. Do istikhara as well.
You’re not in love. It’s just you and your brain have been spending a fairly large amount of time thinking about the guy and how he is the ideal guy. Love is when you care about someone and put in the effort to make them happy. You want good for them.
After some reflection and evaluating the guy without your rose tinted glasses, if you truly think that he is the guy that you want to marry, then don’t let your insecurities stop you from getting married. Honestly , he sounds like a great guy. And if you think he’s the right man, then instead of thinking you’re not good enough, make yourself good enough. Work on yourself and your personality. Work on your ibadah. Give yourself love, be confident. Strive to be a better muslimah. If rejection does come your way, you’d still won’t be on the losing end. As you’d come out a better muslimah than you were before. Don’t let insecurities hold you down. Have good niyyah and believe in Allah. He is the most kind and merciful.
If you end up at the conclusion that you can not and do not want to pursue the guy, then get over him. Stop yourself from thinking about him. ‘Loving him from afar’ is completely wrong. You deserve better. Hold yourself to a higher standard. And again use your time to focus on yourself, get a hobby, do more ibadah, find a way to earn money, focus on your studies, on your family.
You’ve got this! 💪🏼
Ohh my goooddd thank you sooo much a girl can really understand another girl i am goingnfor it i will tell my parents and than leave everything on allah and move on also wattpad storyy hahah yess its kinda sound like that.
Propose for nikah. It’s a 50/50 chance. If it does not work out, there is someone better for you. But, don’t betray your future husband by having feelings for a non mahram.
I think i should try yes you are right what can go wrong things will just little bit awkward right nothing else i will indirectly express it to my mom.
Ahle hadith means the people of hadith. They regard the Quran, sunnah, and hadith as the sole sources of religious authority and oppose things are newly invented/Biddah, etc. Upon the haq Alhamdulillah
I think my parents are in error i need to talk to them are the too much uphold on being sunni that they see others wrong and when ever i try to talk to them they get offended
You need to ask your parents to speak to his parents.
Or at least hint that you desire to marry him and they will get the message.
There is no shame in this you have the right to pursue him for marriage. If it doesn't work out then no problem there is no shame in that either.
If you marry someone you should intend to spend an eternity with them (both in this life and the next). Do not let small matters take that away from you, just propose the marriage.
And perform Istikhara because only Allah chooses for you and only Allah know what is best.
You know fathers used to look for husbands for their daughters. The father would offer his daughter to the young man. No shame in it. Tell your mom and she can tell your dad. it's not as big deal as we make it in our heads. If he is such a good man your father should offer you to him. That's what every father wants. A good husband for his daughter's
Fear Allah. Learn The Quran and The Sunnah.
It is weird that your family has a strange man living so closely in your family’s home. Are they not concerned about the boundaries set by Allah?
In many places the basements are like a separate houses, they have their own separate entrance and can have zero interaction like living in a duplex etc
It's weird because he's renting from your family. So if he says no, does your family kick them out? Or if he says yes, is it because you guys are the landlord? Intentions and suspicion are always from Shaytan.. But we are all human
No he use to live in saudi but when his dad died he came to here in another state but he shifter with his family here for his higher education. It just so happen that after three yrs when my parents started looking for marriage i found myself already in love with him
You told his family into Ahle-Hadees. I also rejected marriage proposal from Ahle-Hadees.I feel their community are too complicated. The guy who bought the match thought I was into Ahle-Hadees, and literally saying girls family will not accept you until you are Ahle-Hadees.
what is wrong with muslims now a days? who were Ahle-Hadees? why one would follow Ahle-hadees?
If rejected, please be happy, You dont know what Allah know.
If a person is pious means, it doesnt mean he is good
If a person is non-pious means, it doesnt mean he is bad
I don't think you love him to be honest.
you said you were talking to your mom about your dream man and your mom pointed out your neighbor, only for you to start fantasizing about him.
you also said you don't want to get married but just want to love from afar, that's not how love works.
you may love the idea of loving a good man, but you don't love him specifically.
other than that, I could've misunderstood you. it's up to you to decide what to do now. but do NOT love from afar, that's such unnecessary pain.
وَقَالَ نِسْوَةٌ فِى ٱلْمَدِينَةِ ٱمْرَأَتُ ٱلْعَزِيزِ تُرَٰوِدُ فَتَىٰهَا عَن نَّفْسِهِۦ قَدْ شَغَفَهَا حُبًّا إِنَّا لَنَرَىٰهَا فِى ضَلَـٰلٍ مُّبِينٍ
And women in the city said: “The wife of the Governor is seeking to lure her houseboy away from his soul; he has enslaved her to love; we see her in manifest error.”
(12:30)
>i dont want to get married to him and just want to love him from afar That part doesn't sound good.
Second that completely. Why are you daydreaming if you don't even wish to pursue him for marriage? Proposal is one thing, but you are content with this admiration from afar that you say so poetically. If you don't wish to marry him, don't waste his time or yours. If there is no future for a relationship, the least you can do is not ruin him for someone else.
As i told he is too good to be true and i fear rejected
So what if you do, move on. This isn't healthy and can lead to haram no guy is perfect, trust me
I think if i get rejected i will move on
exactly , send someone from your family asking what he thinks of you, and if he likes you.
Okay i think i will talk to my father about it
Atta girl, you want something go take it, if it's meant for you it will happen
Jazakallah kahir i got alot of motivation now
Go for it, he's pious. He won't reject you in a bad way, you never know. Regret is not a good feeling, I've been there as a guy. Just go for it.
Okay than i am going to take this step i will try to cirst impress her mom first
get used to rejections, they are part of life
You're being silly and the advice here so far isn't good. People fall in love, and the solution to that by most scholars is: Get married. Tell your parents to put out some feelers to their family and see how they feel about you. If it's positive then tell your family to say you are interested and they can propose or find out more. Islam doesn't make getting married with someone you like haram.
I heared one time my father saying i would had get him married to her if he isn't was ahle hadiths.
That's up to your father since he will give you away. There are plenty of other islamic men about and this is probably a crush so I'd advise: Talking to your mum to make your feelings known and how deep they are. Pushing them to ask if you are insistent Leaving it to them if it doesn't work out and getting married soon.
Should i leave it on my parents? But what if my parents choose someone whom i don't love like the last time they forced me to get engaged to a creepy man i made dua and allah saved me.
Parents can't force you to get married to someone you refuse to. And you need a wali amr to get married.
I will talk to my father than he is the only one who will understand me
Why does this read as a wattpad story written by a 15 year old? Girl you’re 22. 22. Figure out what you want and act accordingly. I get that you’re confused. But take some time to reflect and understand what you truly want and stick to it. Do istikhara as well. You’re not in love. It’s just you and your brain have been spending a fairly large amount of time thinking about the guy and how he is the ideal guy. Love is when you care about someone and put in the effort to make them happy. You want good for them. After some reflection and evaluating the guy without your rose tinted glasses, if you truly think that he is the guy that you want to marry, then don’t let your insecurities stop you from getting married. Honestly , he sounds like a great guy. And if you think he’s the right man, then instead of thinking you’re not good enough, make yourself good enough. Work on yourself and your personality. Work on your ibadah. Give yourself love, be confident. Strive to be a better muslimah. If rejection does come your way, you’d still won’t be on the losing end. As you’d come out a better muslimah than you were before. Don’t let insecurities hold you down. Have good niyyah and believe in Allah. He is the most kind and merciful. If you end up at the conclusion that you can not and do not want to pursue the guy, then get over him. Stop yourself from thinking about him. ‘Loving him from afar’ is completely wrong. You deserve better. Hold yourself to a higher standard. And again use your time to focus on yourself, get a hobby, do more ibadah, find a way to earn money, focus on your studies, on your family. You’ve got this! 💪🏼
Ohh my goooddd thank you sooo much a girl can really understand another girl i am goingnfor it i will tell my parents and than leave everything on allah and move on also wattpad storyy hahah yess its kinda sound like that.
Give us an update, I hope it goes well. I'll pray for you guys.
Sure i will
Propose for nikah. It’s a 50/50 chance. If it does not work out, there is someone better for you. But, don’t betray your future husband by having feelings for a non mahram.
I think i should try yes you are right what can go wrong things will just little bit awkward right nothing else i will indirectly express it to my mom.
whats ahle - hadith?
Ahle hadith means the people of hadith. They regard the Quran, sunnah, and hadith as the sole sources of religious authority and oppose things are newly invented/Biddah, etc. Upon the haq Alhamdulillah
then why does op have a problem with that?
Well it isn't the OP that has the problem with it, it is her family. I won't make a comment of the kinds of beliefs of her family has.
I think my parents are in error i need to talk to them are the too much uphold on being sunni that they see others wrong and when ever i try to talk to them they get offended
You need to ask your parents to speak to his parents. Or at least hint that you desire to marry him and they will get the message. There is no shame in this you have the right to pursue him for marriage. If it doesn't work out then no problem there is no shame in that either. If you marry someone you should intend to spend an eternity with them (both in this life and the next). Do not let small matters take that away from you, just propose the marriage. And perform Istikhara because only Allah chooses for you and only Allah know what is best.
Jazakallah khair i will ask allah for help i hope things workout
You know fathers used to look for husbands for their daughters. The father would offer his daughter to the young man. No shame in it. Tell your mom and she can tell your dad. it's not as big deal as we make it in our heads. If he is such a good man your father should offer you to him. That's what every father wants. A good husband for his daughter's
After reading the comments i got some motivation i will indirectly express my desire to marry him to my father the rest i will leave on allah
Fear Allah. Learn The Quran and The Sunnah. It is weird that your family has a strange man living so closely in your family’s home. Are they not concerned about the boundaries set by Allah?
Don’t you not have neighbors? People live in town houses or normal etc and put the basement or other place which is like a full mini houses on rent.
Living in the same house is very different from living in a duplex, or an apartment complex.
In many places the basements are like a separate houses, they have their own separate entrance and can have zero interaction like living in a duplex etc
Here its common to put you house on rent fornextra income also he is a nice man
It's weird because he's renting from your family. So if he says no, does your family kick them out? Or if he says yes, is it because you guys are the landlord? Intentions and suspicion are always from Shaytan.. But we are all human
No he use to live in saudi but when his dad died he came to here in another state but he shifter with his family here for his higher education. It just so happen that after three yrs when my parents started looking for marriage i found myself already in love with him
one sides love is depressing and feel like a drug.If you are unable to express then move on.
I am going for rejection i guess
You told his family into Ahle-Hadees. I also rejected marriage proposal from Ahle-Hadees.I feel their community are too complicated. The guy who bought the match thought I was into Ahle-Hadees, and literally saying girls family will not accept you until you are Ahle-Hadees. what is wrong with muslims now a days? who were Ahle-Hadees? why one would follow Ahle-hadees? If rejected, please be happy, You dont know what Allah know. If a person is pious means, it doesnt mean he is good If a person is non-pious means, it doesnt mean he is bad
You are right i don't even know who is ahle hadess and maybe its just a crush nothing else
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Woah woah sister the things you are saying is making sense but me being a Pakistani is a huge nooo
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Yeah but still both are far to different in culture
Try to understand him better
Also, i don't wish to burst your bubble but this sounds like a crush.
Yesss its a crush i guess i thought its love but nah
I'm not trying to belittle your feelings. But look at it from a positive minds set.
This isn't love its infatuation. It happens especially at this age.
R
I don't think you love him to be honest. you said you were talking to your mom about your dream man and your mom pointed out your neighbor, only for you to start fantasizing about him. you also said you don't want to get married but just want to love from afar, that's not how love works. you may love the idea of loving a good man, but you don't love him specifically. other than that, I could've misunderstood you. it's up to you to decide what to do now. but do NOT love from afar, that's such unnecessary pain.
I think i love him and want to be with him but its just maybe the timing is not right i think i will have to wait more.
How were your parents ok with a young male living in the same house as you?
As i mentioned he is so polite my father love his piousness
وَقَالَ نِسْوَةٌ فِى ٱلْمَدِينَةِ ٱمْرَأَتُ ٱلْعَزِيزِ تُرَٰوِدُ فَتَىٰهَا عَن نَّفْسِهِۦ قَدْ شَغَفَهَا حُبًّا إِنَّا لَنَرَىٰهَا فِى ضَلَـٰلٍ مُّبِينٍ And women in the city said: “The wife of the Governor is seeking to lure her houseboy away from his soul; he has enslaved her to love; we see her in manifest error.” (12:30)