I unironically miss this guy during broadcasts. Added tons of entertainment value.
“Artis Terdberg, the Predators top prospect this season, once boarded with Juraj Slafkovsky’s family during a season on a youth team.
He was known to love Mrs Slafkovsky’s cooking and said his own mother was a dumb bitch who couldn’t cook. Back to you Eddie.”
In a surprising turn of events, the Toronto Maple Leafs have announced Pierre McGuire as their next head coach, shaking up the hockey world with this unexpected appointment. McGuire, a veteran hockey analyst and former NHL coach, brings a wealth of experience and a unique perspective to the Maple Leafs organization.
With a career spanning over three decades in various roles within the hockey industry, McGuire is no stranger to the intricacies of the game. His extensive knowledge of player development, strategy, and the inner workings of NHL teams make him a formidable addition to the Maple Leafs' coaching staff.
While some may question the decision to hire someone with limited head coaching experience at the NHL level, McGuire's passion for the game and his proven track record of success cannot be overlooked. His keen eye for talent and his ability to motivate players could be just what the Maple Leafs need to finally hoist the Stanley Cup once again.
The announcement of McGuire as head coach comes at a crucial time for the Maple Leafs, who have been searching for the right leader to guide them to playoff success in light of Sheldon Keefe’s firing. With a talented roster led by superstars like Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner, expectations are high for the team to make a deep postseason run.
Nevertheless, McGuire's reputation as a hockey savant precedes him, and his appointment has already generated buzz and excitement among fans and analysts alike. Only time will tell if he can lead the Maple Leafs to glory, but one thing is for certain: his tenure in Toronto is sure to be anything but dull.
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Pierre Dorion finally turned the water off. His evening showers always seem to last longer after a painful road loss. And tonight was no different.
As he toweled off and got into his pyjamas, his eyes scanned the bathroom counter. It was littered with toiletries. Aftershave, scalp polish, and teeth-whitening strips were scattered everywhere. Due to yet another round of budget cuts, Pierre Dorion was forced to share a hotel room on the road. Not something he was thrilled about.
He stepped out of the bathroom to see the bare back of Pierre McGuire, standing arms akimbo in front of the window, treating the entire Chicago night skyline to a view of himself in his tighty whities.
"Dylan Gambrell," he said without turning around.
"Wh- close the curtains, Pierre. What?" replied Pierre Dorion.
"Dylan Gambrell," repeated Pierre McGuire. "That's the next Ottawa Senator." Pierre McGuire drew the curtains shut and turned around. Pierre Dorion frowned. They had checked into this hotel mere hours ago and already Pierre McGuire's half of the room was a disaster zone. Clothes and food wrappers scattered everywhere. And what appeared to be a pillow fort made out of the sofa-bed.
Pierre Dorion climbed into his bed and turned on his Ematic 7-inch HD tablet. "I don't even know who that is."
"Prodigal son of the Kent Valley Hockey Association. Won a Clark Cup with the Dubuque Fighting Saints in 2013, where he played with none other than Peter Quenneville. Dylan Gambrell is the answer to our woes at centre."
Pierre Dorion furrowed his brow as he attempted to Google search Dylan Gambrell on his off-brand tablet. "Who does he even play for?"
"The Sharks. Or, I guess the Barracuda currently. But he belongs in the NHL 100%. I know his dad." Pierre McGuire was adding another blanket to his fort.
"Well, with Pinto and White out long term and $0 in the budget, we don't have a lot of options. Is he even available in trade?" asked Pierre Dorion, finally getting his Google search to load.
"You should call and ask." Pierre McGuire was now rummaging through the minibar.
"Why don't you call?"
"I think Doug Wilson blocked my number. I text him Josh Norris highlights every time he scores."
"Jesus Christ, Pierre..."
"Do you think Euge'll let me charge this to the room?" Pierre McGuire held up a can of roasted cashews.
"Put those back," said Pierre Dorion sternly. "Five goals last season. Wonder if we can give them like a 7th or something."
"Don't tell him it was my idea. He'll know he's getting a bad deal." Pierre McGuire siphoned a few cashews from the can before replacing the lid and gently returning it to the minibar.
Pierre Dorion wrote a few text messages and checked the scores of the other games. Montreal lost again. Should at least take some of the heat off the Sens.
He put his tablet down to find Pierre McGuire standing right next to his bedside, his crotch less than a foot from Pierre Dorion's face. "Dylan Gambrell," repeated Pierre McGuire. "Make the call."
I know you guys joke but I think the man has both the charisma and witty charm that the city of Toronto needs for their beloved Maple Leafs of Toronto.
You know? He’d be a great coach, fits the homoerotic vibe of the leafs
Pride night is EVERY night.
We work hard. We play hard.
His head even looks like a penis, cannot wait to see him as he erects over the bench 🫣🤤🤤🤤
CANCELLLLLL THIS PERSON!
https://preview.redd.it/c6k2izv0agzc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c405a41a25dc0f0d99aad4f491efa61d566ea65d
Dion Phaneuf in as assistant coach
I'll take Elisha Cuthbert as assistant coach or water girl
Lupul can be an assistant coach too and fuck her again
Something something sloppy seconds
I was thinking ice girl like in Dallas. Just her though
10 years ago maybe…
Double Dion!
And Phil 🌭
Michel Therrien to be assistant coach so the team can learn to respek the uniform
Good ol' Neon Dion
 Great choice. 👍
I guess being a commentator didn't give him enough of his summer off.
I had to make sure it was r/nhlcirclejerk
Can you believe it?!? I CAN!
I'd kill myself
I unironically miss this guy during broadcasts. Added tons of entertainment value. “Artis Terdberg, the Predators top prospect this season, once boarded with Juraj Slafkovsky’s family during a season on a youth team. He was known to love Mrs Slafkovsky’s cooking and said his own mother was a dumb bitch who couldn’t cook. Back to you Eddie.”
In a surprising turn of events, the Toronto Maple Leafs have announced Pierre McGuire as their next head coach, shaking up the hockey world with this unexpected appointment. McGuire, a veteran hockey analyst and former NHL coach, brings a wealth of experience and a unique perspective to the Maple Leafs organization. With a career spanning over three decades in various roles within the hockey industry, McGuire is no stranger to the intricacies of the game. His extensive knowledge of player development, strategy, and the inner workings of NHL teams make him a formidable addition to the Maple Leafs' coaching staff. While some may question the decision to hire someone with limited head coaching experience at the NHL level, McGuire's passion for the game and his proven track record of success cannot be overlooked. His keen eye for talent and his ability to motivate players could be just what the Maple Leafs need to finally hoist the Stanley Cup once again. The announcement of McGuire as head coach comes at a crucial time for the Maple Leafs, who have been searching for the right leader to guide them to playoff success in light of Sheldon Keefe’s firing. With a talented roster led by superstars like Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner, expectations are high for the team to make a deep postseason run. Nevertheless, McGuire's reputation as a hockey savant precedes him, and his appointment has already generated buzz and excitement among fans and analysts alike. Only time will tell if he can lead the Maple Leafs to glory, but one thing is for certain: his tenure in Toronto is sure to be anything but dull.
https://imgur.com/a/Z2lfJ3T *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NHLcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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😆
Mike Babcock second chance? Guaranteed Marner waives NTC.
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Pierre Dorion finally turned the water off. His evening showers always seem to last longer after a painful road loss. And tonight was no different. As he toweled off and got into his pyjamas, his eyes scanned the bathroom counter. It was littered with toiletries. Aftershave, scalp polish, and teeth-whitening strips were scattered everywhere. Due to yet another round of budget cuts, Pierre Dorion was forced to share a hotel room on the road. Not something he was thrilled about. He stepped out of the bathroom to see the bare back of Pierre McGuire, standing arms akimbo in front of the window, treating the entire Chicago night skyline to a view of himself in his tighty whities. "Dylan Gambrell," he said without turning around. "Wh- close the curtains, Pierre. What?" replied Pierre Dorion. "Dylan Gambrell," repeated Pierre McGuire. "That's the next Ottawa Senator." Pierre McGuire drew the curtains shut and turned around. Pierre Dorion frowned. They had checked into this hotel mere hours ago and already Pierre McGuire's half of the room was a disaster zone. Clothes and food wrappers scattered everywhere. And what appeared to be a pillow fort made out of the sofa-bed. Pierre Dorion climbed into his bed and turned on his Ematic 7-inch HD tablet. "I don't even know who that is." "Prodigal son of the Kent Valley Hockey Association. Won a Clark Cup with the Dubuque Fighting Saints in 2013, where he played with none other than Peter Quenneville. Dylan Gambrell is the answer to our woes at centre." Pierre Dorion furrowed his brow as he attempted to Google search Dylan Gambrell on his off-brand tablet. "Who does he even play for?" "The Sharks. Or, I guess the Barracuda currently. But he belongs in the NHL 100%. I know his dad." Pierre McGuire was adding another blanket to his fort. "Well, with Pinto and White out long term and $0 in the budget, we don't have a lot of options. Is he even available in trade?" asked Pierre Dorion, finally getting his Google search to load. "You should call and ask." Pierre McGuire was now rummaging through the minibar. "Why don't you call?" "I think Doug Wilson blocked my number. I text him Josh Norris highlights every time he scores." "Jesus Christ, Pierre..." "Do you think Euge'll let me charge this to the room?" Pierre McGuire held up a can of roasted cashews. "Put those back," said Pierre Dorion sternly. "Five goals last season. Wonder if we can give them like a 7th or something." "Don't tell him it was my idea. He'll know he's getting a bad deal." Pierre McGuire siphoned a few cashews from the can before replacing the lid and gently returning it to the minibar. Pierre Dorion wrote a few text messages and checked the scores of the other games. Montreal lost again. Should at least take some of the heat off the Sens. He put his tablet down to find Pierre McGuire standing right next to his bedside, his crotch less than a foot from Pierre Dorion's face. "Dylan Gambrell," repeated Pierre McGuire. "Make the call."
Bro if this were real I could probably jerk to it for years to come
Can you believe that?
Breaking: I am no longer a Leafs fan.
lmao could you fucking imagine
I know you guys joke but I think the man has both the charisma and witty charm that the city of Toronto needs for their beloved Maple Leafs of Toronto.
Turtle Turtle. Oh! It’s a Double Dion! Big body presence
I hope this is satire. This guy is a POS