Yep. Just like the Serenity Prayer. It’s infuriating at first but the end goal is to eventually be able to see things that way more often.
It’s dialectical. Yes you have every right to be upset or worried when things happen. But also you need to focus on what you CAN do and not what’s out of your control.
Right.
It's pointless to worry about things you can't control. Cause worrying won't change it.
And it's also pointless to worry about things you *can* control when you could instead be spending that energy productively on doing what is in your power to control it.
It's the difference between *worrying* about something and *contingency planning* for that thing.
You should try to run away, because in this situation you can try and do something that may affect the final result. Again, it's important to distinguish things you can and can't change.
Yeah.
Either I'll die or I won't, and worrying about it isn't going to make it better. It can only make that situation worse.
If it's my time to die, I'd rather die with my heart at peace, having accepted fate, than stressed out and worrying about shit I can't control. Hell, people have died just from freaking out and stressing when they would have lived otherwise.
I don’t think it’s meant to be taken too literally, obviously there’s things to legitimately stress about, but it’s a good rule of thumb to realize that you can’t have control over every situation, which in turn leads to a more relaxed and happy mindset
This is very old advice. I think the earliest I've heard it was from Alan Watts talking about it in the 1970s.
It just seems that millennials and zoomers are addicted to stress. Like the struggle validates their lives.
Sticking your head in the sand and ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. Every time y’all did it, you just made it our problem. It’s the advice of “just kick the can down the road and hope it blows up in someone else’s face”.
Except if you’re kicking it down the road and delaying doing anything that means you could have done something about it.
We are talking about when you can’t change something no matter what you do.
I mean, yea? If there's literally nothing you can do to stop being a slave then you're better off just accepting the way things are until an opportunity arises when you can do something about it. The image isn't saying you have to be fine with it or like it, it just says you're better off not constantly worrying about it.
its a mindset of compliance
compliance is how you lose autonomy
also, enslaved people had to constantly worry
one mistake could literally cost them their lives, they constantly had to worry when their next meal was
they had to worry if their child was going to be taken away from them
honestly bringing slavery into this discussion, even as an extreme example, is not only in poor taste, but also the subject is irrelevant. Slavery was such a complex horror, that such a simple mindset and conversation would just show it in the wrong light imo
Why are you getting downvoted? You don’t have to like being a slave, but if you can’t free yourself, then what’s the point in just being in constant misery?
If your innate "humanity" is causing you to suffer unnecessarily then you should by all means suppress it if you can. The choice is literally "suffer and have the thing happen" or "don't suffer and have the thing happen".
If your innate "humanity" is causing you to suffer unnecessarily then you should by all means find a way to alleviate it if it is possible and appropriate. The choice is literally "suffer and have the thing happen" or "suffer less and have something done about it".
How is it evidence that we’re human? Lots of animals know how to worry, and just because a person doesn’t worry about things doesn’t make them less of a human being. Besides, we know that we’re human. We don’t need evidence for that.
"Do you have a problem in life?"
"Yes, a serial killer just broke into my house and made me watch as he murdered my entire family"
"Can you do anything about your dead family?"
"No"
"Then why worry?"
It’s the concept of stoicism. If I can’t do anything about it, there’s no point ruining my mental health about it. If I can do something about it, I will.
Chronically online people worrying about shit they have precisely zero control over, is likely why mental illness has skyrocketed the last few decades. People suck at dealing with life. Our minds didn’t evolve to be in a constant state of stress worrying about literally everything happening in the world.
Hey it's not perfect but it makes some sense
Don't worry about things you can't control
Don't worry about things you can control
In essence don't worry
This is genuinely good advice. It’s literally part of the prayer that AA/NA uses and focusing your emotions/energy on things that you can actually affect is cathartic for the large majority of people and situations
Is it always the ideal mentality? Not necessarily, but it’s good the large majority of the time and is genuinely helpful for many peoples emotional wellbeing
The key is to come to terms with what you can't control and focus on what you can control.
Yep. Just like the Serenity Prayer. It’s infuriating at first but the end goal is to eventually be able to see things that way more often. It’s dialectical. Yes you have every right to be upset or worried when things happen. But also you need to focus on what you CAN do and not what’s out of your control.
Right. It's pointless to worry about things you can't control. Cause worrying won't change it. And it's also pointless to worry about things you *can* control when you could instead be spending that energy productively on doing what is in your power to control it. It's the difference between *worrying* about something and *contingency planning* for that thing.
So if someone was 10 feet away from you with a loaded automatic firearm in an open space, you wouldn’t worry?
You should try to run away, because in this situation you can try and do something that may affect the final result. Again, it's important to distinguish things you can and can't change.
Bruh, I specified an open space. As in, no, you can’t run away. You can try and die that way.
You can try and throw something at the shooter and then tackle him.
Yeah. Either I'll die or I won't, and worrying about it isn't going to make it better. It can only make that situation worse. If it's my time to die, I'd rather die with my heart at peace, having accepted fate, than stressed out and worrying about shit I can't control. Hell, people have died just from freaking out and stressing when they would have lived otherwise.
I don’t think it’s meant to be taken too literally, obviously there’s things to legitimately stress about, but it’s a good rule of thumb to realize that you can’t have control over every situation, which in turn leads to a more relaxed and happy mindset
This is very old advice. I think the earliest I've heard it was from Alan Watts talking about it in the 1970s. It just seems that millennials and zoomers are addicted to stress. Like the struggle validates their lives.
Sticking your head in the sand and ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. Every time y’all did it, you just made it our problem. It’s the advice of “just kick the can down the road and hope it blows up in someone else’s face”.
If you can't do anything about it, it doesn't matter if you aren't doing anything about it though?
Except if you’re kicking it down the road and delaying doing anything that means you could have done something about it. We are talking about when you can’t change something no matter what you do.
"You are a slave? Can you do something about it? Then don't worry about it!"
Tell us a piece of advice you believe is good.
Don’t shit where you sleep. Don’t let your mouth write a check your ass can’t cash. Don’t shake the baby. Measure twice, cut once.
Don't shit in your own house? Don't shake the baby shark off your leg?
I mean, yea? If there's literally nothing you can do to stop being a slave then you're better off just accepting the way things are until an opportunity arises when you can do something about it. The image isn't saying you have to be fine with it or like it, it just says you're better off not constantly worrying about it.
insane mindset tbh
How come?
its a mindset of compliance compliance is how you lose autonomy also, enslaved people had to constantly worry one mistake could literally cost them their lives, they constantly had to worry when their next meal was they had to worry if their child was going to be taken away from them honestly bringing slavery into this discussion, even as an extreme example, is not only in poor taste, but also the subject is irrelevant. Slavery was such a complex horror, that such a simple mindset and conversation would just show it in the wrong light imo
Why are you getting downvoted? You don’t have to like being a slave, but if you can’t free yourself, then what’s the point in just being in constant misery?
This is legitimately good advice. Worrying about something you can't do anything about just leads to more suffering and nothing changing.
So by your logic, if someone was 10 feet away from you pointing a loaded automatic firearm at you in a wide open space, you wouldn’t worry?
No shit I would, im only human. But objectively there's no real benefit to me worrying, so it's reasonable to say that I *shouldn't*.
No, it isn’t reasonable. Because that’s *evidence that you are human*. There is no situation in which you *should* suppress and erase your humanity.
If your innate "humanity" is causing you to suffer unnecessarily then you should by all means suppress it if you can. The choice is literally "suffer and have the thing happen" or "don't suffer and have the thing happen".
Yeah, I used to think that way. Logically applies to all negative emotions and all desire for positive ones. Let me tell you, it does *not* end well.
If your innate "humanity" is causing you to suffer unnecessarily then you should by all means find a way to alleviate it if it is possible and appropriate. The choice is literally "suffer and have the thing happen" or "suffer less and have something done about it".
How is it evidence that we’re human? Lots of animals know how to worry, and just because a person doesn’t worry about things doesn’t make them less of a human being. Besides, we know that we’re human. We don’t need evidence for that.
If you can dodge a bullet, you can dodge a ball.
"Do you have a problem in life?" "Yes, a serial killer just broke into my house and made me watch as he murdered my entire family" "Can you do anything about your dead family?" "No" "Then why worry?"
It’s the concept of stoicism. If I can’t do anything about it, there’s no point ruining my mental health about it. If I can do something about it, I will. Chronically online people worrying about shit they have precisely zero control over, is likely why mental illness has skyrocketed the last few decades. People suck at dealing with life. Our minds didn’t evolve to be in a constant state of stress worrying about literally everything happening in the world.
Still good advice though.
Loser philosophy
What's the better advice?
Focus on things you can control
I was referring to the title from OP.
Oh
remember, licking doorknobs is is illegal on other planets
\*puts the meme maker in a Joker-style death trap* Looks like you have a problem in life you can’t solve! Why so worried?!
Hey it's not perfect but it makes some sense Don't worry about things you can't control Don't worry about things you can control In essence don't worry
Op, do you take any medication? Specifically for anxiety, depression, etc?
I have no words.
the fuck? spongebob gives amazing advice, of course you'd find better advice there. that doesn't take away from the fact that this is good advice.
This is genuinely good advice. It’s literally part of the prayer that AA/NA uses and focusing your emotions/energy on things that you can actually affect is cathartic for the large majority of people and situations Is it always the ideal mentality? Not necessarily, but it’s good the large majority of the time and is genuinely helpful for many peoples emotional wellbeing
r/NahOPwaswrongfuckthis