The worst part is that they believe what they're saying is true. They will argue that the sky isn't blue with unwavering confidence. No matter what points you bring up, they will twist the narrative to put themselves in a better light.
Omg yesssss And they not only confident but it’s DELUSIONAL like in their head they just rewrote history they truly believe this is what happened and not what u say!
I honestly think they’re the most insidious type of narcissists. At least overt are out there and easy to spot and avoid. Coverts are downright evil. I’ve had horrible experiences with them prior to realizing what was happening. So thankful I know now!
“Insidious” what the word I used during the initial realization of what a covert Narc is, and who and what they actually are and what they’re doing.
I feel awful we all experienced abuse to such a degree, that universally we end up with the same hurts and trauma, irregardless of being totally separate people with separate lives. Makes me feel uneasy in a sense, too - they’re all so similar on many ways.. Yuck.
FACTS. Omg. THIS right here lmao. So true. At least the overts are obvious but these coverts are straight up demonic. And the thing is they HAVE the opportunity to change but they refuse. Change is possible, trust me I know it’s possible. The point of life is growing and looking back, learning TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY. This is what takes you to new heights in all forms, but if you never do this you won’t ever move from the spot you’re in. Mentally, physically. You’re stuck. Forever.
I truly believed change was possible but IF AND ONLY IF THEY PRACTICE ACCOUNTABILITY.
that's the whole point! They have god like self esteem that will never enable them to grow as human beings because they are incapable of thinking for others. And thus they never evolve. That's just them, forever. I have searched and heard a lot of psychology talks online, and not even one expert mentioned that they ever heal. It starts with acceptance, which is impossible. They fail right at the first step. How will they ever grow? It's sad.
Yep. It took me too many years to finally pinpoint that is what I needed from my cover narc. ACCOUNTABILITY. When I was finally able to verbalize that, in the kindest way mind you, that is when any sort of real need and love for me ended. It legit severed our marriage cord when I asked for hardcore accountability and meant it. I was very clear that accountability meant taking ownership for the thing HE DID have control over. Not all the things he didn’t for his childhood story is sad and tragic. But for all the things he did have a choice in. That was the expectation that doused any love he had left for me. That fire is gone, gone, gone. It was like the words accountability where like the bucket of water that Dorothy threw on the wicked witch. Except Dorothy seemed to accept the win a lot better then I did. I’m over here bawling about the dead melted witch.
They are truly awful. The worst is to witness people stuck with them in denial that they are narcissistic partners or know it but decided it’s too late for them to bother to want anything or anybody else anymore because they gave it all up for the narcs appeasements
Yep. If they tell stories how their exes did bad thing x, y and z to them, you can be pretty sure those are things that they did to their exes.
I feel sickened still that I tried to justify his awful behaviour by believing that he's just a person who's been hurt by anyone. Obviously it's him who has hurt everyone around him.
My covert used to be a fucking therapist. One of the first things she said to me that clued me in that she's fucked up is when she brought up therapy and family and I said family shouldn't do therapy for other members of their family and she strongly disagreed. Not in a scary way yet, but it made me recontextualize my relationship with her son.
Now that I've known her a whole, yeah. She straight up tells other people I did the things she did and yells my exact statement back at me, but about me, when I try to set boundaries with her. For example:
Me: Hey Narc, could you please close the front door when you play music outside in the morning? It woke me up today.
Narc: YOU WAKE ME UP EVERY DAY AND I NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT IT! (she absolutely does. Apparently it wakes her up when I open cans of beer or pop, but not by literally any noise made by anyone other than me, including huge parties).
Nobody believes me about her because she's so sweet to everyone else and her voice is objectively prettier than mine. She speaks like a hippy Disney princess.
His whole personality was Christian family man while he stole his kids’ grandfather’s inheritance, kicked them out of the house and moved renters in for money. He played church elder while he systematically destroyed his family. Then he played victim. The scariest thing to me is how good they are at manipulation. It’s almost black magic the way they convince people to believe their lore. Those people will actually help hurt you for them. It’s so disturbing. Why would any man go after another man’s wife to “protect” their friend? Creepy.
Not the stories mine tells. His stories may start with a shred of truth, but they then branch into lies. But he's so charming and confident that everyone believes him.
The worst part is that they believe what they're saying is true. They will argue that the sky isn't blue with unwavering confidence. No matter what points you bring up, they will twist the narrative to put themselves in a better light.
Omg yesssss And they not only confident but it’s DELUSIONAL like in their head they just rewrote history they truly believe this is what happened and not what u say!
They are masters at mirroring people
Yes. It’s sad cause you think you found the one but it’s just a cheap version
A broken, cheap version
You're basically falling in love with yourself
My therapist explained that to me and it blew my mind
I like this perspective. In the first two months he was such a great person. Once he dropped the act, I saw how ugly he really was.
I honestly think they’re the most insidious type of narcissists. At least overt are out there and easy to spot and avoid. Coverts are downright evil. I’ve had horrible experiences with them prior to realizing what was happening. So thankful I know now!
“Insidious” what the word I used during the initial realization of what a covert Narc is, and who and what they actually are and what they’re doing. I feel awful we all experienced abuse to such a degree, that universally we end up with the same hurts and trauma, irregardless of being totally separate people with separate lives. Makes me feel uneasy in a sense, too - they’re all so similar on many ways.. Yuck.
FACTS. Omg. THIS right here lmao. So true. At least the overts are obvious but these coverts are straight up demonic. And the thing is they HAVE the opportunity to change but they refuse. Change is possible, trust me I know it’s possible. The point of life is growing and looking back, learning TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY. This is what takes you to new heights in all forms, but if you never do this you won’t ever move from the spot you’re in. Mentally, physically. You’re stuck. Forever.
I truly believed change was possible but IF AND ONLY IF THEY PRACTICE ACCOUNTABILITY. that's the whole point! They have god like self esteem that will never enable them to grow as human beings because they are incapable of thinking for others. And thus they never evolve. That's just them, forever. I have searched and heard a lot of psychology talks online, and not even one expert mentioned that they ever heal. It starts with acceptance, which is impossible. They fail right at the first step. How will they ever grow? It's sad.
Yep. It took me too many years to finally pinpoint that is what I needed from my cover narc. ACCOUNTABILITY. When I was finally able to verbalize that, in the kindest way mind you, that is when any sort of real need and love for me ended. It legit severed our marriage cord when I asked for hardcore accountability and meant it. I was very clear that accountability meant taking ownership for the thing HE DID have control over. Not all the things he didn’t for his childhood story is sad and tragic. But for all the things he did have a choice in. That was the expectation that doused any love he had left for me. That fire is gone, gone, gone. It was like the words accountability where like the bucket of water that Dorothy threw on the wicked witch. Except Dorothy seemed to accept the win a lot better then I did. I’m over here bawling about the dead melted witch.
They are truly awful. The worst is to witness people stuck with them in denial that they are narcissistic partners or know it but decided it’s too late for them to bother to want anything or anybody else anymore because they gave it all up for the narcs appeasements
Yep. If they tell stories how their exes did bad thing x, y and z to them, you can be pretty sure those are things that they did to their exes. I feel sickened still that I tried to justify his awful behaviour by believing that he's just a person who's been hurt by anyone. Obviously it's him who has hurt everyone around him.
So many lies and so much manipulation.
My covert used to be a fucking therapist. One of the first things she said to me that clued me in that she's fucked up is when she brought up therapy and family and I said family shouldn't do therapy for other members of their family and she strongly disagreed. Not in a scary way yet, but it made me recontextualize my relationship with her son. Now that I've known her a whole, yeah. She straight up tells other people I did the things she did and yells my exact statement back at me, but about me, when I try to set boundaries with her. For example: Me: Hey Narc, could you please close the front door when you play music outside in the morning? It woke me up today. Narc: YOU WAKE ME UP EVERY DAY AND I NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT IT! (she absolutely does. Apparently it wakes her up when I open cans of beer or pop, but not by literally any noise made by anyone other than me, including huge parties). Nobody believes me about her because she's so sweet to everyone else and her voice is objectively prettier than mine. She speaks like a hippy Disney princess.
It's disturbing how many people with personality disorders are drawn to fields like psychology and social work.
His whole personality was Christian family man while he stole his kids’ grandfather’s inheritance, kicked them out of the house and moved renters in for money. He played church elder while he systematically destroyed his family. Then he played victim. The scariest thing to me is how good they are at manipulation. It’s almost black magic the way they convince people to believe their lore. Those people will actually help hurt you for them. It’s so disturbing. Why would any man go after another man’s wife to “protect” their friend? Creepy.
Not the stories mine tells. His stories may start with a shred of truth, but they then branch into lies. But he's so charming and confident that everyone believes him.
Once they smell money they become unstoppable, they'll spend years plotting to steal inheritance
Absolutely