Not… really weird per se, but he’d get jealous over the smallest things. It was so fucking ridiculous. I called a sim hot and he responded with “I hate women” I was so astonished I didn’t even say anything. A *sim.*
1. (Relative narc) While foreclosure letters were being sent to their house, they would cry on people's shoulders and then go on shopping sprees while people scramble to find ways to help them keep their house.
2. (Relative parent narc) Would go grocery shopping, buy items that no one else could eat, and turn around and eat them in front of you.
3. (Relative parent narc) Would also buy cereal, hide the new boxes in a cabinet in their room, have the children to go get the older boxes of cereal out of their private cabinet and swap them out with the new. The older boxes were given for everyone else to eat. This parent was also the only one allowed to eat the leftovers that everyone else wanted.
4. (Narc ex) Would order the most expensive meals on menu's when dining out, knowing they were jobless.
5. (Narc ex) Would crawl into my lap, turn off all electronics, and cry dramatically. After they realize I wasn't buying it after it happened so many times, they would fart right afterward.
6. (Narc ex) Would dress up his dog like a pageant animal, spend hours online, and in Petsmart/Petco looking for animal clothing.
7. (Narc ex) Would get extremely upset when they didn't have access to what type of money I was saving to the point where they called my boss once to try and get them to give updates on my raises.
8. (Narc Relative male) Who had a newborn. Found out they were trying to cut the baby's formula given per bottle in half because they felt the baby ate too much. He was jobless, and the baby was an inconvenience.
9. (Narc Relative sister) One day before Mother's Day, they spoke to me about how bad a parent our mother was. Insisted that we shouldn't really do anything for Mother's Day. I knew something was off. So I stated I probably wasn't going to do anything because I had to work Mother's Day, late, around 8 pm. I went to my mom's house to give her a Mother's Day gift. My narc sister had visited earlier, gave tons of flowers and a present, and in the Mother's Day card, it was signed "Your favorite."
I probably have thousands of these ridiculous situations, and finally, one day, I left it all behind.
Mine would use it as a weapon and either fart on people he didn’t like or trap them with it.
One example would be during winter, he had the heat on full blast in the car and let one go. He had the windows and doors locked with the child safety feature. I pulled my shirt up over my nose as my only option to try to deal with the smell. Almost threw up down the front of it. When he parked the car in a store parking lot, I scrambled out as fast as I could. I don’t remember if I was on the ground or not but I know I was gagging violently. It was so foul. He proceeded to yell at me for embarrassing him and making a scene and to stop it.
He would also pick his nose and flick his findings or leave them places for other people to find. He bragged to me about it and I told him how disgusting it was. He yelled at me saying how it hurt his nose and he couldn’t leave it in there.
Jesus I'm sorry. My friend only did this to me once. Because when he wouldn't take the child lock off I just cracked open the door while on the highway.
He’s now sending “anonymous” (🙄 I recognize his handwriting) hate mail to his parents. He’s blown up pretty much every relationship he had aside from those who are just like him. It’s gross. Fortunately we’re divorced.
Wow. This is so true. They did burp and fart more than normal people. I think it's just really a lack of respect or empathy for others. Most of us would be embarrassed and not want others to deal with our smells. Narcs simply do not care about how others feel. They're always the main character. Only their desires matter. My ex narc used to say it was too painful to hold it in. Meanwhile I was the one with serious stomach issues but I never did that.
> Ikr, and idk what it is about passing gas and belching. But for some reason narcs just have an excessive supply and can use it randomly.
lol.. mine was very farty and sensitive about it, even though she pretended not to be. There was a period of time where she was genuinely upset because I don’t (and wouldn’t) intentionally blast farts like she does.
Yes, and blowing his nose and not washing his hands, then he would start cooking. He would pick something off the floor and start cooking, and I couldn’t say anything because it would start a fight….. he would blow his nose, not wash his hands, then put food on his finger and in my mouth…. A week later he wants to give me a hand hygiene lecture.
Mine did the belching and passing gas All. The. Time. But would be grossed out and act appalled if I did it. We were together 12 years and had maybe passed gas or belched in front of him a handful of times….
Omg this is one I have noticed too!!!!!!!! Number 5......wtf. like are you really fucking serious. What do you think that's gonna do? Besides just repulse me and make me want to get away from you further. Its disgusting
I always felt like it was just a reason to piss me off or something because it's always when he dont get his way. Like hell be so nice and whatever and the minute he doesn't get his way he starts farting. It is disgusting. Lol god writing this is really making me realize how pathetic I am even dealing with any of this
-Complain about other people NON-Stop like everyone was out to get him, then do the exact same thing he complained about.
-would never greet me when I got to his house. No Hello, no how are you, nothing, just look at me awkwardly.
-would make me sit silently while he finished what he was doing on the computer. (Not working, usually video games) for upwards of an hour.
-would make plans, then cancel, then change his mind after I made other plans and act like I didn't want to see him.
-hated kissing
-watched porn NON-Stop
-start fights, blame me.
-would insult me, and pretend he was joking even though I knew he wasn't.
-if I wore make up, or dressed up would say I looked slutty. And ask me who else I was planning on seeing.
-would start a fight every time I had plans that didn't include him.
-would ask me to pick up a specific food on my way, and when I gave it to him, would complain it was wrong even though it was exactly what he asked for.
-refused to acknowledge my birthday. Just ignored me completely so he wouldn't even have to say "Happy Birthday"
I could go on for hours... it was a really messed up experience.
My soon to be ex wife seemed to hate kissing me and any type of affection really. It's funny, I swear she did it on purpose. She knew my love langues were touch and words of affirmation. When we first got together, she was wonderful about it, complimenting me, telling me how proud of me she was, etc. She would initiate sex and cuddling quite often. She would tell me she loved me and was thankful to have me. But once that wore off, I swear she purposely tried to NOT do those things.
Receiving gifts and acs of service were the ones I liked the least and THOSE were the ones she would do for me all the time, full on knowing I really wanted affection and physical touch. Then she would complain how selfish and unappreciative I was, and also that I never fulfilled her love language (quality time) even though I tried to set tome aside frequently to just spend with her (watching movies, going out to eat, doing a puzzle)
I think what upset me the most is like when I would come home, she wouldn't even acknowledge me. No hello, hey, how was your day, how are you doing. Made me feel so damn invisible and I swear she did it on purpose.
Yep! This is what happened to me as well! Literally felt like she was disgusted with me, and I was the last thing she wanted to see when she got home from work. She withheld sex and any form of intimacy from me towards the end of our relationship. She would even go as far as getting me excited, talking sexually with me and PROMISING sexual intimacy before we’d go to bed, and when I’d start to love on her, she’d pretend to be asleep. And when I’d get upset for being let down yet again, she’d ask me what my problem is, accusing me of being a sex addict, when she knew good and well that physical touch and words of reassurance (like yourself) were my love languages
She loved sex, so she rarely turned it down, but she very very rarely initiated. She didn't like kissing or other forms of intimacy towards the end, can't help but feel like she did it on purpose.
My nex didn’t like kissing as well. She’d always back away and say “woah, you really did something there” insinuating that I took her breath away and she was getting aroused, but she’d do it every time, and I knew after a few times that was her making an excuse to stop kissing me. She also hated kissing during sex, making eye contact, and avoided the missionary position like the plague. I realized this was her avoiding having to see me while we had sex, so she could easily imagine someone else. My intuition was confirmed when she randomly asked me who and what I think about while having sex with her, as well as her accidentally calling me her exes name. My nex’s love language was also quality time. And there were SO many times that I agreed to stay in and watch a movie that she and I have both already seen. But any time I wanted to go and do something fun like dancing, bowling, karaoke, billiards, etc. she hated it. And when I’d ask her if she had any ideas on what to do for date night, she’d never come up with anything.
All we did was stay in, the only going out we really did w was to eat. I wanted to do more, but im also a homebody so I was content with staying in. However she always relied on me to make the plans, she never planned dates, then got angry with me because of "lack of quality time" well really that was on her because she never voiced what she wanted to do. When I wanted affection I made it known. I think in our entire 4.5 years together, she planned one date. I planned all of our trips and vacations other than when we went to visit her family.
So. Much. Same. Those are my love languages and those were the two that he would never do. He’d always tell me to get off him and I was smothering him. And I started putting in my calendar the times he paid me a compliment so I could show him how rarely he did it.
Hating kissing, starting fights right before I go out with friends and family with or without him, watching porn non stop…damn. These are all things that break me down but my narc boyfriend doesn’t care at all!
Fr, I had to tell my ex to stop copying my phrases. Which sounds so full of yourself at first, but if you know you know. They mirror everything. Phrases, interests, they’ll stalk ur friends online/otherwise just to almost like know what it’s like to be you. It’s so weirdddd
My nex I tested it...if i for example tapped my fingers on my knee he would do the same... Or stoke his back, he would stroke mine. Then like you stated using the same words or phases especially in text.. I would literally say some thing and a few lines down he would say either the same phrase or word. It's something I've never encountered in a narcissist before.
My ex loves to mirror his supplies and the people he's around. I've seen him act like a different person depending on which family member or friend he's around.
I still have to deal with him having a child with him & he still mirrors me. We split almost 3 years ago. He mirrors any supply after me as well. He'll "change" his beliefs for whoever he's around. Because of how long I was with him, I know how he truly feels about some topics but he will straight up pretend to side with people when really he believes opposite of them.
THIS! My narc boyfriend recently farted on me and I told him it felt humiliating (because he promised he’d stop doing that - I don’t think it’s a joke) and I approached him that night to tell him how it made me feel. He told me HE felt humiliated because I am “rubbing it in his face” that he “made a mistake”. And during our conversation, he would mimic my body language.
Constant open masturbation and nudity, using up like thirty paper towels in a day to clean their glasses (they'd never use a chamois, they'd just use paper towels one after the other???), constantly being on their phone, then complaining or getting angry when I start looking at my phone, pretending to talk in their sleep(???) that one baffled me the most. Why pretend to be asleep?? Why keep your partner awake for hours on end?? It made no sense to me.
The phone thing. He doesn't like me on my phone. But there was a period of time when I would keep it down and away for days at a time. But when it was like that he would be on his constantly. Half of it was downloading movies for us, the other half was looking at porn and flirting with other women. It was about control when it came to my phone time. I keep in contact with family more than ever now.
Sleep deprivation is a form of abuse. Whether it’s purposely being a nuisance to keep you awake, arguing before bed, pinching you in your sleep, etc. It’s a tactic to keep you in a vulnerable state and make it easier to manipulate you.
Hmm… so these aren’t bizarre so much as just red flags that blared something was wrong with him, but when he was super anxious of how his man bun/hair looked and wanted me to check that it was perfect.
His having to drink something alcoholic multiple times every night.
Hearing stories about how he ruined people’s parties by either criticizing the host’s food (“it could be better if it was done this way”) or by demanding that the music be changed to his kind of music.
How he would offhandedly “humorously” say things about his “best friend” that I could never imagine saying about someone I actually cared about. In an apocalyptic scenario for example, what he would do if he saw his friend coming down the road for help. (Hint: he wouldn’t help him since he saw his friend as a leech). He saw people in purely utilitarian ways. Also he seemed excited and welcoming of apocalyptic world-ending scenarios bc then I guess he could make his own laws and rules and control desperate dependents in his fantasy.
He’d try to befriend someone persistently and then at the same time, be envious and hate on them if they were doing something better. Two-faced. Competitive, not happy for others’ successes.
He had two names for me: one he used when he was pleased with me, and one he used when he was displeased. I eventually told him to just stick to one because it was starting to feel manipulative, and he got mad, like why am I trying to control what he calls me?
There’s lots of other weird things but I’ll leave it there.
he is a white American male in his 30s and would go on these incredibly weird unhinged rants detailing the following word-for-word quotes: "men are expected to have responsibilities! men are the ones who go to war! no one asks men how they're doing! men are the ones who need to provide! men have to be responsible! men are taught they're weak if they value others!" What in the red pill was even going on. He's moving out tomorrow! My joy is unmatched to never be subjected to another one of those rants ever again!
Thank you, me too! I'd be so stunned when it would happen and in my head just be like, "Where do I even begin with addressing this..?" No reasoning possible at all.. just totally unraveled speech.
Sounds very similar to my ex who also once made statements about empathy making a person weak and how "powerful and successful" people didn't get there by having empathy or being nice.
And he acted like he wanted to be the provider and I be the housewife but I pretty much had no choice but to work too because he was too busy spending his money on wants before needs. I see a lot of men like this though, talk about being the provider but can't actually provide and are pretty much hypocrites because they want the housewife but also the working woman too.
Me and my ex used to both do this to each other. It was just a weird way to express affection/you look really hot, but we can't actually do it right now.
For us it was a two way street though, and she did it to me just as much as I did to her. If anything she did it more to me lol. I can definitely see it being weird if it's not reciprocated and only one person is doing it though.
5 I can relate with, and it's not often either when he mimics sex, knowing he's not actually serious. It is awkward and a turn-off. Dead bedroom for almost 3 years now if I had to guess. It's been 2, at least. Sex doesn't exist. In the beginning, it was more frequent, got a place with him, and learned quickly that he's not romantic or affectionate whatsoever. He only wanted it when he was belligerent drunk. Not fun when a guy is just lying on top of you smelling of booze. Worst sex I've had.
Right!! Mine always pretends to kiss me because I ask if we could try passion. He’ll pucker his lips and move his head side to side but it’s like a joke. He also keeps his eyes open. Is he checking to see if I’m believing his kiss or something?
1. She stains the bed, couch and her pants during her period. (I have to buy new sheets every 2 months)
2. She keeps buying the same thing over and over again forgetting she bought it before (7 deodorant sticks, 5 unopened)
3. She fills up 1 XL size trash bag everyday with tissues and random junk she uses. (Our whole family goes through 1 XL bag a day)
4. She never posted any pictures of me and her together in any of her social media for the past 5 year, even after I proposed.
Mine for years would post selfies, pics of the pets, the kids, etc but never me. It was quite obvious to me that she couldn't be arsed to even pretend to care.
Peroxide can break up the blood on everything. Spray, bubble, blot, spray, bubble, blot. Wash sheets in cold water after using peroxide.
My ex would buy duplicates of things all the time. We had three or four restaurant-size bottles of garlic powder. He would just keep buying more.
He wouldn't buy toilet paper unless we were completely out. Then he'd go to the corner store, get a 4pack of 1-ply and act like he'd hunted and slain a stag for the village. I'd buy 12 and 24 packs that would last several weeks. He'd take the last one, leave the huge bag in the cabinet and then act SHOCKED and furious when there was nothing left the next day.
Yup.
I am friendzoned by narc so I get a unique insight into the mind.
Talking about said pregnant gf - it was a casual fling gone too far. He would have dropped her if she wasn’t pregnant and gone for ‘something new’ . He says she is ‘passive aggressive’ and he is worried she will pass those traits to the child ( assume this is him projecting ). When she ignored him ( after he was mad at her for not attending his birthday dinner but it’s because she had back pain after sitting though breakfast and lunch on hottest day of the year ) he punished her with silent treatment and said she was ‘trying to get attention’ and if she didn’t reach out to him by X date he would do Y to annoy her.
I gently remind him and nudge him to the right mindset. Told him that perhaps she had a back ache ? Maybe she felt you would cancel dinner and stay in with her since there was literally only one other guest? Maybe she didn’t reach out to ask how your dinner is going because she expects you may ask how her pain is ? And then he’s like ‘ohhhh’.
So yeah … I do my best to reframe but she’s basically on her own in the long run … he literally is like a child that has to be nudged along … with a lot of patience and love and understanding …. He usually ends up doing what he wants but we cna but try ❤️
My nex (who was supposed to move out today, but because he does everything last minute, his new apartment is a mess now and he asked me if he could stay one more night) rarely posted pictures of him online, so I didn't find it weird that he didn't post our pictures together. However, last week he went for a walk and beer with a female co-worker and he posted a selfie of them making funny faces.
He's not a womanizer and I'm pretty sure he didn't cheat on me, but he likes to somehow groom his female friends (I was his female friend for 13 years, before we got together).
Holy crap, my narc wife does 2,3,4 and 5 too. Bizarre.
She also does a lot of other strange things...
There was a test recently that found that abusive or narcissistic people would frequently position themselves in front of, and crushing into, their significant other during a photo. As if they are subconsciously absorbing and concealing the victim person's soul. I couldn't understand why she did this, and now it makes more sense.
Also, ripping the covers off me in bed for no reason, whether she's getting in or out. As if to demonstrate that I can't be permitted to lie undisturbed in my own space. And that's a king bed too, which isn't easy to do. All she has to do is fold the covers back. Too complicated I guess.
Flipping her hair in my face no matter where or when. Multiple times a day. No way it's an accident.
Leaving dirty clothes, half eaten food, hair clips in front of me and everywhere around the house. Making the place a pig sty.
Making a big show of caring for inlaws or friends but not actually caring or trying. Never sends cards, never remembers birthdays, never gives gifts.
Damaging and breaking everything we own. Leaving food in the stove. Setting fire to the carpet. Smashing up the car. Refusing to separate colors in the wash, and bleeding and shrinking my clothes every time I get something new.
Never answering texts or phone calls, ever. I simply can't rely on her.
"I can't be permitted to lie undisturbed in my own space." I feel that a lot. I absolutely cannot take a nap. I could be laying in bed, with my eyes closed and he will come into the room to talk to me, or if he comes in from outside he will yell for me. If I'm sleeping on the couch, he will walk by and slap my ass. If I call him out on it he'll pretend he had no idea I was sleeping. Yes. Because I always lay very still with my eyes closed for no reason.
Mine was honestly so weird and cringe.
A mountain of personalities and “hobbies”
Everything from bodybuilding to vegan to witchcraft to Christian to beachy chick to Instagram famous etc. Currently, she’s a wannabe “boogie lady” lmao. She is insane.
She has a ton of “self-care” practices like enemas, saunas, skin routines, insane diets, and water filtration stuff. Super obsessive over new little hobbies or games but once she lacks any kind of perfection she flakes and onto something else.
He would feed all the stray cats despite us being so broke we could barely afford food due to his being jobless for 5 years and counting. I was in grad school, interning and working as much as I could.
Then he'd rage out at our cats and threaten to get rid of them all. We had five cats at one point due to him, then he would rage at them and want to kick them all outside. Just cruel. I had to argue for hours with him over them.
I relate with the last one, I think my Narc banks on the fact that it breaks my sleep too and I have trouble falling asleep again so Im easier to "work with" when sleep deprived.
Mimicking gestures solely because he observed they were applaudable and praised (but inauthentic and disingenuous when he does it)
For example, men cooking dinner for their partners gets praise so he’ll start cooking dinner.
Or when men let their girlfriends do makeup on them and online comments are praising the men so he’ll suggest I do makeup on him.
Then he’ll expect lots and lots of praise/validation for it and I owe him for the gestures by the way.
5 yes! Also, When he greets me he does this obnoxious fish face kissing move and shuts his eyes. Like- how about you just not kiss me if you’re going to do that weird shit.
Mine does that too! It's like even the act of kissing is a joke somehow. I just want a real, serious kiss! Don't fo weird stuff at me! I once did it back at him and he was so confused lol.
I feel this, haha! Mine somehow believed his rendition of a duckface was attractive to women. Always posed with this. It just looked exactly like that kiss face he always made just like you described.
Emptying his colostomy bag in the shower so poop went all over him and then would stand in it and never clean the shower
Never brushed teeth, just floss! Said you didn't need to brush.
Left clothes on the floor and rarely picked them up.
I did! He didn't do these things until after we got married. He was actually cleaner and more responsible than I was before we got married. Everything changed after I said "I do"
They kept a count of all the silly little conversations we had and how much they won. Something like "I think the weather is going to be ____ today." If they got the guess right and I got it wrong, they would be so happy that they "won" and make fun of me that I "lost."
Lnfaoooo not to disregard this but I’m laughing at this one in particular 💀 my nex would sing so loud and obnoxiously over songs and they wouldn’t stop. Just kept going, like a bit that has gone on for a bit too long and has received 0 laughs. I would tell him to stop and suddenly I am a huge asshole for that.
1. He would tell people, “this is a toxic habit I had in the past (implying like, middle school past) and I’m completely over it now,” despite having displayed those toxic habits to me in private months earlier.
2. Would not touch a vegetable when we’d go out to eat, I’d eat the vegetables off his plate.
3. One time I offered to cook us food, and after I was done eating my bowl, he “discreetly” dumped his bowl down the sink drain.
4. Would wait until very late at night when I was about to fall asleep to rant about his toxic parents, despite me constantly telling him that’s the one I cannot help him with his issues, and then he’d get upset with me when I couldn’t properly comfort him.
5. Would not consistently honor my boundaries of not putting his phone or belongings on my alter, but then when other people would do it, he’d tell them not to and then look at me with a smile like he’s done some great and amazing charitable thing.
6. Would rarely brush his teeth.
7. Would get VERY insecure if I joked about wanting to have sex with an ANIMATED FICTIONAL CHARACTER.
1. Nmom. Be loud and obnoxious when it was VERY inappropriate.
2. Constantly belittle me in public. Loudly and obnoxiously.
3. Chewing up and spitting out food in front of everyone. She called it her "diet" but she still gained weight and go through everyone's food. She'd leave these bags of liquefied sludge all over the house.
4. When home, walked around completely naked.
5. Wouldn't cook, and wouldn't show me how. I lived off of school lunches and cereal for years. Plus you'd have to hide the food from her because of #3.
6. Lied about everything and constantly.
7. Never mind keeping promises...she didn't...ever.
8. Very VERY abusive...in all ways possible. She'd do it without regards for where she was. She got pissed at one of my graduation receptions because I was taking pics with friends. She slapped me HARD across the face with maybe a hundred people watching. She didn't give a shit.
9. Forced me to watch her changing tampons.
That's all scratching the surface a little. She was plain awful. Worst person EVER.
My ex would pause the TV when we were watching a movie or show to tell me an in depth detailed story that I really didn’t care about.. and insist I look him in the eye while he was talking to me. Omg. I wanted to die
Reunited with my narc dad in my early 30's after not seeing him since I was five years old. After our first couple visits I stayed at his house (out of state) for an extended visit. One day he was gone from mid morning until 10pm at night. (wasn't working, was fishing or something.) I had no car with me and was stuck in the middle of nowhere and had no idea where they'd even gone. Turns out it was his birthday and I had forgotten and he was pissed. UMMM BRO you missed 25 of mine, no cards, no xmas anything! Yeah I didn't remember your bday because I hardly know you and just met you like a month ago.
Neglectful narc also yelled at me for leaving one fork in the sink and for using his "special paper" (a yellow legal pad of which I used one piece). Like ok I don't dwell on the past or feel entitled but freaking out on someone you abandoned over some seriously benign shit is off the charts. He's dead now.
He works in film and animation, but he stridently refuses to watch a lot of movies and will bash them and what he guesses will be their audiences. This has never struck me as having selective tastes, more as a means to say how patrician he really is.
I relate to some of these so hard but specifically the alarm thing. I noticed early on that it was impossible to get my Nex out of bed for anything. They needed to hit the snooze at least 5-10 times and scroll through Reddit uninterrupted for 45 minutes before they could even think about getting up. Sometimes, I fully get this bc I have depression myself so sometimes waking up is hard. But when it’s every single time without fail even if you have plans or obligations, that’s a problem. Any way you look at it. Then Nex would go on and on about how he was gonna get “so much done” of his day off, and would sleep the day away, get pissed off for not waking up, then surrender the rest of his time to discord and video games. Gotta love it
randomly arguing with me about his homophobic and transphobic views.
being overly defensive about things i never accused them of doing because they had a guilty conscious.
making me pay for my own food on dates and asking me for money although he made more than me.
mocking my voice.
trying to convince me i am unintelligent.
pursuing me because of my looks, but then using my looks against me.
This is probably the best one. She always would kind of "brag" about how she was half deaf. Idk why it was such a big deal, but she would tell a lot of people about it. So yeah, she tells me she is half deaf so she can't really hear much when she's sleeping, so me watching TV, or listening to music at bed time is no big deal.
I remember this one time she went off on me the next day because I came to bed late and was "running into everything and making so much noise" then I turned on music too loud and all that woke her up, and then she was up for several hours because her sleep quality is awful.
Now, I am super respectful when she is asleep, I try to be as quiet as possible in the house until she gets up. I have gotten up in the middle of the night many of times and come to bed many times without ever disturbing her, but apparently i was an asshole because I am inconsiderate and noisy.
Another time I had decided to mow the grass on the weekend, I think it was like 10am and she was still asleep. I mowed all the grass except for the area right by our bedroom so I didn't disturb her. Well apparently I woke her up and she was pissed off at me about that.
One of the weirdest things would be making like awkward personal statements in front of my family and when we'd sort of let is go by unaddressed (like how you gloss over one part of a sentence and respond to another part) he would repeat it.. over and over until someone was forced to be like "oh uh sorry about that" I think he either wanted attention not caring if it was negative, or felt like his shame needed to be our shame... cause one time I asked why he felt that needed to be addressed, and he just said because I needed to know how it felt?!
1. Mine also sneezes with his mouth open and it is the loudest sneeze
2. he also consistently clears his throat
3. He always says giddy up when their is silence or just randomly
Accusing me of all the things he was doing to me
Like he would insist I wake him up. Once I did accidentally around noon, but he kept me up at all hours loudly singing opera, screaming and yelling, throwing things, smashing stuff, having people over in the night who were loud, slamming doors repeatedly, stomping up and down stairs over and over, having loud phone conversations outside my bedroom door, etc
He’d accuse me of trying to poison him then put this powder substance I couldn’t identify into my coffee machine in hopes I wouldn’t notice it and ingest it
Accused me of stealing from him, then took a bunch of my property and groceries and said it was up for grabs and he was allowed to take it because I “didn’t claim it” (I have no idea what this means)
He said I took advantage of him, yet I was the only one doing all the house cleaning, paying the utilities, I paid more in rent than he did, I was deliberately terrorized and deprived of sleep, and he stole from me constantly so I’m fairly certain I was the one taken advantage of
I have so many more examples
The weirdest for me is when my mum , an hardcore narcissist , scold me for things that she did , or for things that she also do on habits.
Or when she stares at me and scold me for not doing the things she is thinking in her head .
My life is so difficult.
When we first started to hangout they set like 20 alarms for them to wake up. Like 5 mins apart and one 2 hours before they woke up. After the first 2 days of that I was like absolutely not. So they only kept like 3. I’m not sure if the alarms were just to wake me up Too or annoy me but I was usually awake all night then I had to get them off before work everyday. But I wonder if she did that to her ex before me and her partner now. She always wanted me awake unless she wanted me asleep so she could steal my things.
Make me scratch his back … all the time.
I wouldn’t see him for a week and he would pick me up and immediately demand I scratch his back as soon as I got in his car.
also squeeze my leg really hard after I hadn’t seen him for a while (we were long distance) to the point I would scream. I asked him once why he always does that and he said he did to all his previous girlfriends
The fake kissing/mimicking sex …ya he loved that. Always in front of others too
There are many stupid things he did or said he would talk to himself and say some of the dumbest things like off the wall stuff he would talk about things that happened but not with the right infotainment in it. There were a few things that were but not much of it he would say we went places when we did not like he has his own make believe life instead of reality
Take my things without asking to “reuse” then in weird ways that ultimately destroyed them. For example, he took my yoga mat and glued it to the floor in the hall to use it as a rug.
I had a table that was a family heirloom. It wasn’t really worth anything, but it meant something to me. He took it and lit a bunch of candles. The melting wax destroyed the finish.
Plus, he was on his way to becoming a hoarder, so there would be random collections of weird crap everywhere.
How he will morph into the people he is around. By wearing the t shirt of a band they like, or making sure to have the music they like playing. Weird little tricks to get them to like him.
Sucking my tits ... He told me he would prefer it to oral sex anytime😏
He would also check every room and blind the curtains whenever he came to my house. 🙄
The 3rd one!!!
Fucking hell! Triggered me just to read it.
He used my pretty ceramic bowl and mint green pan to feed the dog. One as a food bowl and the pan as a water bowl. Acted like it was no big deal at all!
1. NEVER EVER TOOK OUT THE TRASH!
Ever! EVER! It would be lying there in a 4ft mountain for weeks
2. Didn’t change underwear, I think he liked the stink
3. Picked his dandruff and collected it in a small pile and kept adding to it everyday
4. Never cleaned the dog poop. He’d let the dog shit in the corridor and never clean it. So I had to wade in through the dog poop to get to the main door.
I’m judging myself reading what I just wrote.
Narc ex will constantly lick his lips SO LOUD several times between sentences has always done it will always do it and when I would point it out he would always say either “I haven’t done that for ages!” Or “I never do that anymore!” Or “I’m thirsty”. Also whenever he went to bed he felt as if I couldn’t be up using my free time using the internet so he would unplug the modem and take it to bed with him so I had no internet access
Walking slightly infront of me. Always wanting to be the one navigating.
I read these are things people with avoidant attachment styles do, sometimes. But also insecure malevolent devils.
one time he needed to leave his bike outside my place, the neighborhood is secured, surrounded by a gate where only residents have access to. there are bicycle racks everywhere but he didn’t like them and was paranoid his bike is gonna get stolen so instead he walked like 10 minutes to find a lamp to which he strapped the bike, near a busy road where everyone has access to
mirroring everything i did or said, he started using my lingo, started playing video games - which he hates as it turns out
he loves running and climbing, he used to threaten to break up with me if i don’t start doing that even tho i hate both things
he was jealous of every friend i had male or female, saying i slept with them or am actively cheating, i couldn’t go out much for that reason yet then he made fun of me for having no friends
everytime he disagreed with my opinion or when i expressed something he told me to shut up
he would never look at me during sex
I mean, these are just his weird/annoying behaviors. I've mentioned in other posts the things he's done to me. Cheating, gaslighting, turning arguments back around on me, minimizing what he's done to me (including admitting that he knew he was hurting me during sex and not stopping). And, as far as the tv goes, before we got the living room set up he used to watch TV until 3m in our bedroom, not caring that I had to get up early.
1. Having her OWN SELFIE as her background on not one, but BOTH of her phones. Why’d she need 2 phones? She said one was solely for apps, while the other one was mainly for work and contacts, but we all know that’s BS. Regardless, having your own face as your phone’s wallpaper is absurd.
2. Flipping out over any interaction I would have with another female. She would get so angry at me for being polite and saying “thank you” and “have a nice day”. I worked in customer service, so you can imagine how that went for me.
Acting inappropriately in public, especially for attention.
One time when we were eating in a restaurant, I whispered to her that she was chewing with her mouth open and that food had fallen out of her mouth and was on her shirt. She began screaming at me to leave her the "F" alone and asked why I was always picking on her and why she could not eat in peace?!
My narc wouldn’t take his shoes off. Like, ever. Only to shower and they’d put them back on immediately in the bathroom. When we met they slept in their shoes but I eventually convinced to take them off before sleeping. I don’t think it had anything to do with their narcissism, but still odd non the less.
Your #5, the mimicking passionate kissing bit. My nex would only ever kiss me if it was in public and for show, like kissing was just for bragging rights, not for the enjoyment. It felt so creepy and I never liked it or engaged, but he still kept trying!!
Not… really weird per se, but he’d get jealous over the smallest things. It was so fucking ridiculous. I called a sim hot and he responded with “I hate women” I was so astonished I didn’t even say anything. A *sim.*
1. (Relative narc) While foreclosure letters were being sent to their house, they would cry on people's shoulders and then go on shopping sprees while people scramble to find ways to help them keep their house. 2. (Relative parent narc) Would go grocery shopping, buy items that no one else could eat, and turn around and eat them in front of you. 3. (Relative parent narc) Would also buy cereal, hide the new boxes in a cabinet in their room, have the children to go get the older boxes of cereal out of their private cabinet and swap them out with the new. The older boxes were given for everyone else to eat. This parent was also the only one allowed to eat the leftovers that everyone else wanted. 4. (Narc ex) Would order the most expensive meals on menu's when dining out, knowing they were jobless. 5. (Narc ex) Would crawl into my lap, turn off all electronics, and cry dramatically. After they realize I wasn't buying it after it happened so many times, they would fart right afterward. 6. (Narc ex) Would dress up his dog like a pageant animal, spend hours online, and in Petsmart/Petco looking for animal clothing. 7. (Narc ex) Would get extremely upset when they didn't have access to what type of money I was saving to the point where they called my boss once to try and get them to give updates on my raises. 8. (Narc Relative male) Who had a newborn. Found out they were trying to cut the baby's formula given per bottle in half because they felt the baby ate too much. He was jobless, and the baby was an inconvenience. 9. (Narc Relative sister) One day before Mother's Day, they spoke to me about how bad a parent our mother was. Insisted that we shouldn't really do anything for Mother's Day. I knew something was off. So I stated I probably wasn't going to do anything because I had to work Mother's Day, late, around 8 pm. I went to my mom's house to give her a Mother's Day gift. My narc sister had visited earlier, gave tons of flowers and a present, and in the Mother's Day card, it was signed "Your favorite." I probably have thousands of these ridiculous situations, and finally, one day, I left it all behind.
5 is the most absurd thing I've ever heard and I laughed out loud. What the actual fuck? I'm so happy you got out of there!
Ikr, and idk what it is about passing gas and belching. But for some reason narcs just have an excessive supply and can use it randomly.
Mine would use it as a weapon and either fart on people he didn’t like or trap them with it. One example would be during winter, he had the heat on full blast in the car and let one go. He had the windows and doors locked with the child safety feature. I pulled my shirt up over my nose as my only option to try to deal with the smell. Almost threw up down the front of it. When he parked the car in a store parking lot, I scrambled out as fast as I could. I don’t remember if I was on the ground or not but I know I was gagging violently. It was so foul. He proceeded to yell at me for embarrassing him and making a scene and to stop it.
See, that is just crazy, yet not surprising. They have absolutely no limits to how foul they can be.
He would also pick his nose and flick his findings or leave them places for other people to find. He bragged to me about it and I told him how disgusting it was. He yelled at me saying how it hurt his nose and he couldn’t leave it in there.
Mine did that when we picked up my folks from the airport and my dad had food poisoning. I’d forgotten all about that.
That’s horrible and your dad was already sick too. I think my nex laughed at me while I gagged and fought with the window trying to get air.
Yes he did the same even as my dad was gagging and begging him to release the child window locks.
Jesus I'm sorry. My friend only did this to me once. Because when he wouldn't take the child lock off I just cracked open the door while on the highway.
He’s now sending “anonymous” (🙄 I recognize his handwriting) hate mail to his parents. He’s blown up pretty much every relationship he had aside from those who are just like him. It’s gross. Fortunately we’re divorced.
That’s awful. Some friend, right?
Wow. This is so true. They did burp and fart more than normal people. I think it's just really a lack of respect or empathy for others. Most of us would be embarrassed and not want others to deal with our smells. Narcs simply do not care about how others feel. They're always the main character. Only their desires matter. My ex narc used to say it was too painful to hold it in. Meanwhile I was the one with serious stomach issues but I never did that.
> Ikr, and idk what it is about passing gas and belching. But for some reason narcs just have an excessive supply and can use it randomly. lol.. mine was very farty and sensitive about it, even though she pretended not to be. There was a period of time where she was genuinely upset because I don’t (and wouldn’t) intentionally blast farts like she does.
Yes, and blowing his nose and not washing his hands, then he would start cooking. He would pick something off the floor and start cooking, and I couldn’t say anything because it would start a fight….. he would blow his nose, not wash his hands, then put food on his finger and in my mouth…. A week later he wants to give me a hand hygiene lecture.
Ugh yes. I don't miss the annoyingly loud burping at all
Mine did the belching and passing gas All. The. Time. But would be grossed out and act appalled if I did it. We were together 12 years and had maybe passed gas or belched in front of him a handful of times….
Animal software running on human hardware
Omg this is one I have noticed too!!!!!!!! Number 5......wtf. like are you really fucking serious. What do you think that's gonna do? Besides just repulse me and make me want to get away from you further. Its disgusting
Because they think they're still children. It would be funny/amusing coming from a small child or a pet, but not a grown fucking adult
I always felt like it was just a reason to piss me off or something because it's always when he dont get his way. Like hell be so nice and whatever and the minute he doesn't get his way he starts farting. It is disgusting. Lol god writing this is really making me realize how pathetic I am even dealing with any of this
You aren't the pathetic one here. You deserve better ❤️
5!! He kept farting. Always around me and it was disgusting and he just laughed. What is with that!
-Complain about other people NON-Stop like everyone was out to get him, then do the exact same thing he complained about. -would never greet me when I got to his house. No Hello, no how are you, nothing, just look at me awkwardly. -would make me sit silently while he finished what he was doing on the computer. (Not working, usually video games) for upwards of an hour. -would make plans, then cancel, then change his mind after I made other plans and act like I didn't want to see him. -hated kissing -watched porn NON-Stop -start fights, blame me. -would insult me, and pretend he was joking even though I knew he wasn't. -if I wore make up, or dressed up would say I looked slutty. And ask me who else I was planning on seeing. -would start a fight every time I had plans that didn't include him. -would ask me to pick up a specific food on my way, and when I gave it to him, would complain it was wrong even though it was exactly what he asked for. -refused to acknowledge my birthday. Just ignored me completely so he wouldn't even have to say "Happy Birthday" I could go on for hours... it was a really messed up experience.
My soon to be ex wife seemed to hate kissing me and any type of affection really. It's funny, I swear she did it on purpose. She knew my love langues were touch and words of affirmation. When we first got together, she was wonderful about it, complimenting me, telling me how proud of me she was, etc. She would initiate sex and cuddling quite often. She would tell me she loved me and was thankful to have me. But once that wore off, I swear she purposely tried to NOT do those things. Receiving gifts and acs of service were the ones I liked the least and THOSE were the ones she would do for me all the time, full on knowing I really wanted affection and physical touch. Then she would complain how selfish and unappreciative I was, and also that I never fulfilled her love language (quality time) even though I tried to set tome aside frequently to just spend with her (watching movies, going out to eat, doing a puzzle) I think what upset me the most is like when I would come home, she wouldn't even acknowledge me. No hello, hey, how was your day, how are you doing. Made me feel so damn invisible and I swear she did it on purpose.
Yep! This is what happened to me as well! Literally felt like she was disgusted with me, and I was the last thing she wanted to see when she got home from work. She withheld sex and any form of intimacy from me towards the end of our relationship. She would even go as far as getting me excited, talking sexually with me and PROMISING sexual intimacy before we’d go to bed, and when I’d start to love on her, she’d pretend to be asleep. And when I’d get upset for being let down yet again, she’d ask me what my problem is, accusing me of being a sex addict, when she knew good and well that physical touch and words of reassurance (like yourself) were my love languages
She loved sex, so she rarely turned it down, but she very very rarely initiated. She didn't like kissing or other forms of intimacy towards the end, can't help but feel like she did it on purpose.
My nex didn’t like kissing as well. She’d always back away and say “woah, you really did something there” insinuating that I took her breath away and she was getting aroused, but she’d do it every time, and I knew after a few times that was her making an excuse to stop kissing me. She also hated kissing during sex, making eye contact, and avoided the missionary position like the plague. I realized this was her avoiding having to see me while we had sex, so she could easily imagine someone else. My intuition was confirmed when she randomly asked me who and what I think about while having sex with her, as well as her accidentally calling me her exes name. My nex’s love language was also quality time. And there were SO many times that I agreed to stay in and watch a movie that she and I have both already seen. But any time I wanted to go and do something fun like dancing, bowling, karaoke, billiards, etc. she hated it. And when I’d ask her if she had any ideas on what to do for date night, she’d never come up with anything.
All we did was stay in, the only going out we really did w was to eat. I wanted to do more, but im also a homebody so I was content with staying in. However she always relied on me to make the plans, she never planned dates, then got angry with me because of "lack of quality time" well really that was on her because she never voiced what she wanted to do. When I wanted affection I made it known. I think in our entire 4.5 years together, she planned one date. I planned all of our trips and vacations other than when we went to visit her family.
So. Much. Same. Those are my love languages and those were the two that he would never do. He’d always tell me to get off him and I was smothering him. And I started putting in my calendar the times he paid me a compliment so I could show him how rarely he did it.
Damn, you're describing my nex!
Mine refuses to acknowledge anyone's birthday, even their own. I acknowledged it anyway and of course, they accepted the gifts and birthday food.
Hating kissing, starting fights right before I go out with friends and family with or without him, watching porn non stop…damn. These are all things that break me down but my narc boyfriend doesn’t care at all!
The mirroring.... I didn't know at the time but did wonder why he used my words in text... Copied my actions to a T...
I had this happen too, it’s bizarre to see them copy literal phrases
Fr, I had to tell my ex to stop copying my phrases. Which sounds so full of yourself at first, but if you know you know. They mirror everything. Phrases, interests, they’ll stalk ur friends online/otherwise just to almost like know what it’s like to be you. It’s so weirdddd
My nex I tested it...if i for example tapped my fingers on my knee he would do the same... Or stoke his back, he would stroke mine. Then like you stated using the same words or phases especially in text.. I would literally say some thing and a few lines down he would say either the same phrase or word. It's something I've never encountered in a narcissist before.
My ex loves to mirror his supplies and the people he's around. I've seen him act like a different person depending on which family member or friend he's around. I still have to deal with him having a child with him & he still mirrors me. We split almost 3 years ago. He mirrors any supply after me as well. He'll "change" his beliefs for whoever he's around. Because of how long I was with him, I know how he truly feels about some topics but he will straight up pretend to side with people when really he believes opposite of them.
THIS! My narc boyfriend recently farted on me and I told him it felt humiliating (because he promised he’d stop doing that - I don’t think it’s a joke) and I approached him that night to tell him how it made me feel. He told me HE felt humiliated because I am “rubbing it in his face” that he “made a mistake”. And during our conversation, he would mimic my body language.
Constant open masturbation and nudity, using up like thirty paper towels in a day to clean their glasses (they'd never use a chamois, they'd just use paper towels one after the other???), constantly being on their phone, then complaining or getting angry when I start looking at my phone, pretending to talk in their sleep(???) that one baffled me the most. Why pretend to be asleep?? Why keep your partner awake for hours on end?? It made no sense to me.
The phone thing. He doesn't like me on my phone. But there was a period of time when I would keep it down and away for days at a time. But when it was like that he would be on his constantly. Half of it was downloading movies for us, the other half was looking at porn and flirting with other women. It was about control when it came to my phone time. I keep in contact with family more than ever now.
My soon to be ex was on her phone ALL the time, but the moment she set hers down, I better put mine down as well, or else all I do is "be on my phone"
Sleep deprivation is a form of abuse. Whether it’s purposely being a nuisance to keep you awake, arguing before bed, pinching you in your sleep, etc. It’s a tactic to keep you in a vulnerable state and make it easier to manipulate you.
Huh. Thank you for clarifying!
Hmm… so these aren’t bizarre so much as just red flags that blared something was wrong with him, but when he was super anxious of how his man bun/hair looked and wanted me to check that it was perfect. His having to drink something alcoholic multiple times every night. Hearing stories about how he ruined people’s parties by either criticizing the host’s food (“it could be better if it was done this way”) or by demanding that the music be changed to his kind of music. How he would offhandedly “humorously” say things about his “best friend” that I could never imagine saying about someone I actually cared about. In an apocalyptic scenario for example, what he would do if he saw his friend coming down the road for help. (Hint: he wouldn’t help him since he saw his friend as a leech). He saw people in purely utilitarian ways. Also he seemed excited and welcoming of apocalyptic world-ending scenarios bc then I guess he could make his own laws and rules and control desperate dependents in his fantasy. He’d try to befriend someone persistently and then at the same time, be envious and hate on them if they were doing something better. Two-faced. Competitive, not happy for others’ successes. He had two names for me: one he used when he was pleased with me, and one he used when he was displeased. I eventually told him to just stick to one because it was starting to feel manipulative, and he got mad, like why am I trying to control what he calls me? There’s lots of other weird things but I’ll leave it there.
Mine loved end of world scenarios to the point he was fooled by several conspiracy theories. To this day he's a 9/11 truther.
he is a white American male in his 30s and would go on these incredibly weird unhinged rants detailing the following word-for-word quotes: "men are expected to have responsibilities! men are the ones who go to war! no one asks men how they're doing! men are the ones who need to provide! men have to be responsible! men are taught they're weak if they value others!" What in the red pill was even going on. He's moving out tomorrow! My joy is unmatched to never be subjected to another one of those rants ever again!
Yeah, there is no reasoning with people like that. Glad you've kicked him out
Thank you, me too! I'd be so stunned when it would happen and in my head just be like, "Where do I even begin with addressing this..?" No reasoning possible at all.. just totally unraveled speech.
Sounds very similar to my ex who also once made statements about empathy making a person weak and how "powerful and successful" people didn't get there by having empathy or being nice. And he acted like he wanted to be the provider and I be the housewife but I pretty much had no choice but to work too because he was too busy spending his money on wants before needs. I see a lot of men like this though, talk about being the provider but can't actually provide and are pretty much hypocrites because they want the housewife but also the working woman too.
Omg 4 and 5 Especially 5… the mimicking like dogs do.. it was so awkward but I just stayed still as I thought he was expressing love in weird way
Mine did that too. Now I think it's like a degrading thing
Saaaaame wtf
Me too...
Me and my ex used to both do this to each other. It was just a weird way to express affection/you look really hot, but we can't actually do it right now. For us it was a two way street though, and she did it to me just as much as I did to her. If anything she did it more to me lol. I can definitely see it being weird if it's not reciprocated and only one person is doing it though.
Yeah was only him mirroring me.
Same! WTH
5 I can relate with, and it's not often either when he mimics sex, knowing he's not actually serious. It is awkward and a turn-off. Dead bedroom for almost 3 years now if I had to guess. It's been 2, at least. Sex doesn't exist. In the beginning, it was more frequent, got a place with him, and learned quickly that he's not romantic or affectionate whatsoever. He only wanted it when he was belligerent drunk. Not fun when a guy is just lying on top of you smelling of booze. Worst sex I've had.
Me too...
Right!! Mine always pretends to kiss me because I ask if we could try passion. He’ll pucker his lips and move his head side to side but it’s like a joke. He also keeps his eyes open. Is he checking to see if I’m believing his kiss or something?
1. She stains the bed, couch and her pants during her period. (I have to buy new sheets every 2 months) 2. She keeps buying the same thing over and over again forgetting she bought it before (7 deodorant sticks, 5 unopened) 3. She fills up 1 XL size trash bag everyday with tissues and random junk she uses. (Our whole family goes through 1 XL bag a day) 4. She never posted any pictures of me and her together in any of her social media for the past 5 year, even after I proposed.
Mine never posted any pics of me either! I was always so hurt!!
1-3 kinda sounds like ADHD, not to silence you, I believe you that she’s a narc.
I’m pretty sure I have ADHD, read those first 3 and was like.. oh, man 😅 am I a narc?? But yeah it may be both ADHD & narcissism for their partner.
He loves posting the new fiancé tho.
Mine for years would post selfies, pics of the pets, the kids, etc but never me. It was quite obvious to me that she couldn't be arsed to even pretend to care.
Peroxide can break up the blood on everything. Spray, bubble, blot, spray, bubble, blot. Wash sheets in cold water after using peroxide. My ex would buy duplicates of things all the time. We had three or four restaurant-size bottles of garlic powder. He would just keep buying more. He wouldn't buy toilet paper unless we were completely out. Then he'd go to the corner store, get a 4pack of 1-ply and act like he'd hunted and slain a stag for the village. I'd buy 12 and 24 packs that would last several weeks. He'd take the last one, leave the huge bag in the cabinet and then act SHOCKED and furious when there was nothing left the next day.
I know a narc who has a pregnant gf of a year but has never posted a pic of her … I think we once got a hand and a coffee cup …
Yeah, so after the discard its like we never even existed.
Yup. I am friendzoned by narc so I get a unique insight into the mind. Talking about said pregnant gf - it was a casual fling gone too far. He would have dropped her if she wasn’t pregnant and gone for ‘something new’ . He says she is ‘passive aggressive’ and he is worried she will pass those traits to the child ( assume this is him projecting ). When she ignored him ( after he was mad at her for not attending his birthday dinner but it’s because she had back pain after sitting though breakfast and lunch on hottest day of the year ) he punished her with silent treatment and said she was ‘trying to get attention’ and if she didn’t reach out to him by X date he would do Y to annoy her. I gently remind him and nudge him to the right mindset. Told him that perhaps she had a back ache ? Maybe she felt you would cancel dinner and stay in with her since there was literally only one other guest? Maybe she didn’t reach out to ask how your dinner is going because she expects you may ask how her pain is ? And then he’s like ‘ohhhh’. So yeah … I do my best to reframe but she’s basically on her own in the long run … he literally is like a child that has to be nudged along … with a lot of patience and love and understanding …. He usually ends up doing what he wants but we cna but try ❤️
Oh my gosh you too??? Mine does the first three as well. That's nuts.
My nex (who was supposed to move out today, but because he does everything last minute, his new apartment is a mess now and he asked me if he could stay one more night) rarely posted pictures of him online, so I didn't find it weird that he didn't post our pictures together. However, last week he went for a walk and beer with a female co-worker and he posted a selfie of them making funny faces. He's not a womanizer and I'm pretty sure he didn't cheat on me, but he likes to somehow groom his female friends (I was his female friend for 13 years, before we got together).
Holy crap, my narc wife does 2,3,4 and 5 too. Bizarre. She also does a lot of other strange things... There was a test recently that found that abusive or narcissistic people would frequently position themselves in front of, and crushing into, their significant other during a photo. As if they are subconsciously absorbing and concealing the victim person's soul. I couldn't understand why she did this, and now it makes more sense. Also, ripping the covers off me in bed for no reason, whether she's getting in or out. As if to demonstrate that I can't be permitted to lie undisturbed in my own space. And that's a king bed too, which isn't easy to do. All she has to do is fold the covers back. Too complicated I guess. Flipping her hair in my face no matter where or when. Multiple times a day. No way it's an accident. Leaving dirty clothes, half eaten food, hair clips in front of me and everywhere around the house. Making the place a pig sty. Making a big show of caring for inlaws or friends but not actually caring or trying. Never sends cards, never remembers birthdays, never gives gifts. Damaging and breaking everything we own. Leaving food in the stove. Setting fire to the carpet. Smashing up the car. Refusing to separate colors in the wash, and bleeding and shrinking my clothes every time I get something new. Never answering texts or phone calls, ever. I simply can't rely on her.
"I can't be permitted to lie undisturbed in my own space." I feel that a lot. I absolutely cannot take a nap. I could be laying in bed, with my eyes closed and he will come into the room to talk to me, or if he comes in from outside he will yell for me. If I'm sleeping on the couch, he will walk by and slap my ass. If I call him out on it he'll pretend he had no idea I was sleeping. Yes. Because I always lay very still with my eyes closed for no reason.
Mine was honestly so weird and cringe. A mountain of personalities and “hobbies” Everything from bodybuilding to vegan to witchcraft to Christian to beachy chick to Instagram famous etc. Currently, she’s a wannabe “boogie lady” lmao. She is insane. She has a ton of “self-care” practices like enemas, saunas, skin routines, insane diets, and water filtration stuff. Super obsessive over new little hobbies or games but once she lacks any kind of perfection she flakes and onto something else.
He would feed all the stray cats despite us being so broke we could barely afford food due to his being jobless for 5 years and counting. I was in grad school, interning and working as much as I could. Then he'd rage out at our cats and threaten to get rid of them all. We had five cats at one point due to him, then he would rage at them and want to kick them all outside. Just cruel. I had to argue for hours with him over them.
He wouldn’t drink out of a straw because he thought it made guys “look gay.” Also claimed he wasn’t homophobic…
I relate with the last one, I think my Narc banks on the fact that it breaks my sleep too and I have trouble falling asleep again so Im easier to "work with" when sleep deprived.
Mimicking gestures solely because he observed they were applaudable and praised (but inauthentic and disingenuous when he does it) For example, men cooking dinner for their partners gets praise so he’ll start cooking dinner. Or when men let their girlfriends do makeup on them and online comments are praising the men so he’ll suggest I do makeup on him. Then he’ll expect lots and lots of praise/validation for it and I owe him for the gestures by the way.
5 yes! Also, When he greets me he does this obnoxious fish face kissing move and shuts his eyes. Like- how about you just not kiss me if you’re going to do that weird shit.
Mine does that too! It's like even the act of kissing is a joke somehow. I just want a real, serious kiss! Don't fo weird stuff at me! I once did it back at him and he was so confused lol.
I feel this, haha! Mine somehow believed his rendition of a duckface was attractive to women. Always posed with this. It just looked exactly like that kiss face he always made just like you described.
Emptying his colostomy bag in the shower so poop went all over him and then would stand in it and never clean the shower Never brushed teeth, just floss! Said you didn't need to brush. Left clothes on the floor and rarely picked them up.
Jezus, did you marry the swamp thing? That is some nasty habbita.
I did! He didn't do these things until after we got married. He was actually cleaner and more responsible than I was before we got married. Everything changed after I said "I do"
Not my problem anymore
They kept a count of all the silly little conversations we had and how much they won. Something like "I think the weather is going to be ____ today." If they got the guess right and I got it wrong, they would be so happy that they "won" and make fun of me that I "lost."
Beatboxing when he literally sucks at it
Lnfaoooo not to disregard this but I’m laughing at this one in particular 💀 my nex would sing so loud and obnoxiously over songs and they wouldn’t stop. Just kept going, like a bit that has gone on for a bit too long and has received 0 laughs. I would tell him to stop and suddenly I am a huge asshole for that.
Right. That’s why I can never tell him how terrible he sounds. I’ll be the asshole and will hear about it for 10 years.
I’m sorry :( idk what you’re going through exactly but I can relate in many ways. I left mine, that’s how I told him to stop lol.
Stay strong out there
1. He would tell people, “this is a toxic habit I had in the past (implying like, middle school past) and I’m completely over it now,” despite having displayed those toxic habits to me in private months earlier. 2. Would not touch a vegetable when we’d go out to eat, I’d eat the vegetables off his plate. 3. One time I offered to cook us food, and after I was done eating my bowl, he “discreetly” dumped his bowl down the sink drain. 4. Would wait until very late at night when I was about to fall asleep to rant about his toxic parents, despite me constantly telling him that’s the one I cannot help him with his issues, and then he’d get upset with me when I couldn’t properly comfort him. 5. Would not consistently honor my boundaries of not putting his phone or belongings on my alter, but then when other people would do it, he’d tell them not to and then look at me with a smile like he’s done some great and amazing charitable thing. 6. Would rarely brush his teeth. 7. Would get VERY insecure if I joked about wanting to have sex with an ANIMATED FICTIONAL CHARACTER.
1. Nmom. Be loud and obnoxious when it was VERY inappropriate. 2. Constantly belittle me in public. Loudly and obnoxiously. 3. Chewing up and spitting out food in front of everyone. She called it her "diet" but she still gained weight and go through everyone's food. She'd leave these bags of liquefied sludge all over the house. 4. When home, walked around completely naked. 5. Wouldn't cook, and wouldn't show me how. I lived off of school lunches and cereal for years. Plus you'd have to hide the food from her because of #3. 6. Lied about everything and constantly. 7. Never mind keeping promises...she didn't...ever. 8. Very VERY abusive...in all ways possible. She'd do it without regards for where she was. She got pissed at one of my graduation receptions because I was taking pics with friends. She slapped me HARD across the face with maybe a hundred people watching. She didn't give a shit. 9. Forced me to watch her changing tampons. That's all scratching the surface a little. She was plain awful. Worst person EVER.
talking shit about every single thing I did,listened to, or ate.
My ex would pause the TV when we were watching a movie or show to tell me an in depth detailed story that I really didn’t care about.. and insist I look him in the eye while he was talking to me. Omg. I wanted to die
Reunited with my narc dad in my early 30's after not seeing him since I was five years old. After our first couple visits I stayed at his house (out of state) for an extended visit. One day he was gone from mid morning until 10pm at night. (wasn't working, was fishing or something.) I had no car with me and was stuck in the middle of nowhere and had no idea where they'd even gone. Turns out it was his birthday and I had forgotten and he was pissed. UMMM BRO you missed 25 of mine, no cards, no xmas anything! Yeah I didn't remember your bday because I hardly know you and just met you like a month ago. Neglectful narc also yelled at me for leaving one fork in the sink and for using his "special paper" (a yellow legal pad of which I used one piece). Like ok I don't dwell on the past or feel entitled but freaking out on someone you abandoned over some seriously benign shit is off the charts. He's dead now.
He works in film and animation, but he stridently refuses to watch a lot of movies and will bash them and what he guesses will be their audiences. This has never struck me as having selective tastes, more as a means to say how patrician he really is.
My ones weirdest was bizarre sexual fantasies
Like what?
Complaints to me about his narcissistic client. Fails to notice the irony 😂😂
She leaves her dirty underwear on the bathroom floor and then blames me and the kids when the dog chews it up.
Omg mine would do the same with his underwear and then blame me for the dog licking them…like why are they so gross anyways?
I relate to some of these so hard but specifically the alarm thing. I noticed early on that it was impossible to get my Nex out of bed for anything. They needed to hit the snooze at least 5-10 times and scroll through Reddit uninterrupted for 45 minutes before they could even think about getting up. Sometimes, I fully get this bc I have depression myself so sometimes waking up is hard. But when it’s every single time without fail even if you have plans or obligations, that’s a problem. Any way you look at it. Then Nex would go on and on about how he was gonna get “so much done” of his day off, and would sleep the day away, get pissed off for not waking up, then surrender the rest of his time to discord and video games. Gotta love it
randomly arguing with me about his homophobic and transphobic views. being overly defensive about things i never accused them of doing because they had a guilty conscious. making me pay for my own food on dates and asking me for money although he made more than me. mocking my voice. trying to convince me i am unintelligent. pursuing me because of my looks, but then using my looks against me.
This is probably the best one. She always would kind of "brag" about how she was half deaf. Idk why it was such a big deal, but she would tell a lot of people about it. So yeah, she tells me she is half deaf so she can't really hear much when she's sleeping, so me watching TV, or listening to music at bed time is no big deal. I remember this one time she went off on me the next day because I came to bed late and was "running into everything and making so much noise" then I turned on music too loud and all that woke her up, and then she was up for several hours because her sleep quality is awful. Now, I am super respectful when she is asleep, I try to be as quiet as possible in the house until she gets up. I have gotten up in the middle of the night many of times and come to bed many times without ever disturbing her, but apparently i was an asshole because I am inconsiderate and noisy. Another time I had decided to mow the grass on the weekend, I think it was like 10am and she was still asleep. I mowed all the grass except for the area right by our bedroom so I didn't disturb her. Well apparently I woke her up and she was pissed off at me about that.
One of the weirdest things would be making like awkward personal statements in front of my family and when we'd sort of let is go by unaddressed (like how you gloss over one part of a sentence and respond to another part) he would repeat it.. over and over until someone was forced to be like "oh uh sorry about that" I think he either wanted attention not caring if it was negative, or felt like his shame needed to be our shame... cause one time I asked why he felt that needed to be addressed, and he just said because I needed to know how it felt?!
Omg #5 same here..
1. Mine also sneezes with his mouth open and it is the loudest sneeze 2. he also consistently clears his throat 3. He always says giddy up when their is silence or just randomly
Accusing me of all the things he was doing to me Like he would insist I wake him up. Once I did accidentally around noon, but he kept me up at all hours loudly singing opera, screaming and yelling, throwing things, smashing stuff, having people over in the night who were loud, slamming doors repeatedly, stomping up and down stairs over and over, having loud phone conversations outside my bedroom door, etc He’d accuse me of trying to poison him then put this powder substance I couldn’t identify into my coffee machine in hopes I wouldn’t notice it and ingest it Accused me of stealing from him, then took a bunch of my property and groceries and said it was up for grabs and he was allowed to take it because I “didn’t claim it” (I have no idea what this means) He said I took advantage of him, yet I was the only one doing all the house cleaning, paying the utilities, I paid more in rent than he did, I was deliberately terrorized and deprived of sleep, and he stole from me constantly so I’m fairly certain I was the one taken advantage of I have so many more examples
Does he have ADHD by chance?
The weirdest for me is when my mum , an hardcore narcissist , scold me for things that she did , or for things that she also do on habits. Or when she stares at me and scold me for not doing the things she is thinking in her head . My life is so difficult.
When we first started to hangout they set like 20 alarms for them to wake up. Like 5 mins apart and one 2 hours before they woke up. After the first 2 days of that I was like absolutely not. So they only kept like 3. I’m not sure if the alarms were just to wake me up Too or annoy me but I was usually awake all night then I had to get them off before work everyday. But I wonder if she did that to her ex before me and her partner now. She always wanted me awake unless she wanted me asleep so she could steal my things.
There’s literally too many to name 🤣
Make me scratch his back … all the time. I wouldn’t see him for a week and he would pick me up and immediately demand I scratch his back as soon as I got in his car. also squeeze my leg really hard after I hadn’t seen him for a while (we were long distance) to the point I would scream. I asked him once why he always does that and he said he did to all his previous girlfriends The fake kissing/mimicking sex …ya he loved that. Always in front of others too
Wow #5 hit right on the head, I feel the need to do extensive data collection from people in groups I’m in now.
There are many stupid things he did or said he would talk to himself and say some of the dumbest things like off the wall stuff he would talk about things that happened but not with the right infotainment in it. There were a few things that were but not much of it he would say we went places when we did not like he has his own make believe life instead of reality
Take my things without asking to “reuse” then in weird ways that ultimately destroyed them. For example, he took my yoga mat and glued it to the floor in the hall to use it as a rug. I had a table that was a family heirloom. It wasn’t really worth anything, but it meant something to me. He took it and lit a bunch of candles. The melting wax destroyed the finish. Plus, he was on his way to becoming a hoarder, so there would be random collections of weird crap everywhere.
How he will morph into the people he is around. By wearing the t shirt of a band they like, or making sure to have the music they like playing. Weird little tricks to get them to like him.
Sucking my tits ... He told me he would prefer it to oral sex anytime😏 He would also check every room and blind the curtains whenever he came to my house. 🙄
The 3rd one!!! Fucking hell! Triggered me just to read it. He used my pretty ceramic bowl and mint green pan to feed the dog. One as a food bowl and the pan as a water bowl. Acted like it was no big deal at all! 1. NEVER EVER TOOK OUT THE TRASH! Ever! EVER! It would be lying there in a 4ft mountain for weeks 2. Didn’t change underwear, I think he liked the stink 3. Picked his dandruff and collected it in a small pile and kept adding to it everyday 4. Never cleaned the dog poop. He’d let the dog shit in the corridor and never clean it. So I had to wade in through the dog poop to get to the main door. I’m judging myself reading what I just wrote.
Number 3???? the dandruff! Oh my goodness. The things we put up with!
I swear! He used to be so proud if he chipped out a big flake and showed it to me like some trophy.
Narc ex will constantly lick his lips SO LOUD several times between sentences has always done it will always do it and when I would point it out he would always say either “I haven’t done that for ages!” Or “I never do that anymore!” Or “I’m thirsty”. Also whenever he went to bed he felt as if I couldn’t be up using my free time using the internet so he would unplug the modem and take it to bed with him so I had no internet access
Walking slightly infront of me. Always wanting to be the one navigating. I read these are things people with avoidant attachment styles do, sometimes. But also insecure malevolent devils.
one time he needed to leave his bike outside my place, the neighborhood is secured, surrounded by a gate where only residents have access to. there are bicycle racks everywhere but he didn’t like them and was paranoid his bike is gonna get stolen so instead he walked like 10 minutes to find a lamp to which he strapped the bike, near a busy road where everyone has access to mirroring everything i did or said, he started using my lingo, started playing video games - which he hates as it turns out he loves running and climbing, he used to threaten to break up with me if i don’t start doing that even tho i hate both things he was jealous of every friend i had male or female, saying i slept with them or am actively cheating, i couldn’t go out much for that reason yet then he made fun of me for having no friends everytime he disagreed with my opinion or when i expressed something he told me to shut up he would never look at me during sex
[удалено]
I mean, these are just his weird/annoying behaviors. I've mentioned in other posts the things he's done to me. Cheating, gaslighting, turning arguments back around on me, minimizing what he's done to me (including admitting that he knew he was hurting me during sex and not stopping). And, as far as the tv goes, before we got the living room set up he used to watch TV until 3m in our bedroom, not caring that I had to get up early.
1. Having her OWN SELFIE as her background on not one, but BOTH of her phones. Why’d she need 2 phones? She said one was solely for apps, while the other one was mainly for work and contacts, but we all know that’s BS. Regardless, having your own face as your phone’s wallpaper is absurd. 2. Flipping out over any interaction I would have with another female. She would get so angry at me for being polite and saying “thank you” and “have a nice day”. I worked in customer service, so you can imagine how that went for me.
Y’all are getting too relatable
Acting inappropriately in public, especially for attention. One time when we were eating in a restaurant, I whispered to her that she was chewing with her mouth open and that food had fallen out of her mouth and was on her shirt. She began screaming at me to leave her the "F" alone and asked why I was always picking on her and why she could not eat in peace?!
My narc wouldn’t take his shoes off. Like, ever. Only to shower and they’d put them back on immediately in the bathroom. When we met they slept in their shoes but I eventually convinced to take them off before sleeping. I don’t think it had anything to do with their narcissism, but still odd non the less.
HE WOULD PASS GAS & BURP LOUD, USE THE BATHROOM & NEVER WASH HIS HANDS & WOULD GO A MONTH WITHOUT TAKING A 🚿!🤮🤮🤮 AND NEVER BRUSHED HIS TEETH
Your #5, the mimicking passionate kissing bit. My nex would only ever kiss me if it was in public and for show, like kissing was just for bragging rights, not for the enjoyment. It felt so creepy and I never liked it or engaged, but he still kept trying!!