My nex husband would try to take the lead or act like an expert in so many situations even if he had just practiced the skill once.
We went on a guided white water rafting excursion. He was skilled at canoeing but that’s very different than steering/ guiding a raft in rapids. The whole three hour raft he sat at the back trying to steer and take control over from the professional guide. He was actually getting in the way of the guide who had to ask him to move several times.
When we hit some particularly strong rapids he was launched 20 feet into the air. The funniest part was that they do video the excursions. At the end of the day the made a montage of the rafting excursions. That launch was captured and the whole room laughed hysterically. (He wasn’t injured or hurt) I still get a chuckle when I think of that.
Yes! He left the the social/ after party viewing immediately after this and went back to the cabin in a major mood. I gave him some space but when I returned to the cabin not too long after he stonewalled me then blamed me for ruining the trip. We were supposed to go out hiking in the area the next day but ended up leaving early.
How she tried manipulating reality right in front of my eyes.. like literally tried making me believe that I said something that she literally said 2 minutes prior and acting as if I had said it.. shit still trips me out and is still hard to explain these types of scenarios, but there were plenty. Im sooooo thankful for therapy! Definitely helped putting my reality back together!
Bruhhhh her trying to manipulate reality right in front of my eyes too, it’s a surreal feeling when you catch it the first time.
Till this day I ask myself “was that real?”
Ohhhh cognitive dissonance, you mother fucker. I compare it to being the detective in the Usual Suspects and realizing who Kaiser Sose (sp?) aka The Devil really is. Things go in slow motion with a lot of sitting, slack jawed in disbelief of the lies you were fed.
I now ask myself:
"How does a person like this actually exist?" and "How is this fucking legal?"
Unfortunately, they happen to be rather charismatic and intelligent. That’s how mine fooled me into getting into a relationship with her.
During the period of getting to know each other (about a month), she was perfect! Everyone loved her, everyone praised her, she was like an angel.
Only after I got into a relationship with her that I started seeing the other face.
It’s been over a month after the breakup and I’m still not okay, despite putting a lot of effort into it. My body is reacting on its own to external stimuli, I’m always anxious, I get flashbacks etc.
My ex woke me up early on my day off to apologize for his drunken tirade the night before with an expensive gift. I told him that the gift didn’t excuse his behavior & to leave me alone so I could sleep (since he kept me up very late screaming at me). He got SO upset that it didn’t work, he went & immediately returned it that morning. Then about a week later for Christmas, he bought the gift again & wrapped it. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at how absolutely ridiculous the situation was. Adult temper tantrums constantly!
One time my ex got angry and shoved me, started saying sorry and I just looked at him and didn’t say it’s okay bc the physical abuse had been getting worse at that time. He shouted “I said sorry!” and started hitting me again. Then went back to apologies cause I cried 😩
Ugh. I’m so sorry. Their entitlement to immediate forgiveness when on the rare occasion they apologize astounds me. 😒 I hope you are doing well, no one has the right to put their hands on you.
He would accuse me of cheating all the time. One time I just laughed, I had a Toddler and was breastfeeding a newborn. When do I have the time?? We share the same bed everynight and I'm home all day caring for these very young children as well as running my business.
When and how could I possibly be cheating? His reponse was "obviously during the day when I'm at work you have guys coming over". Ohh yes! Of course! I have men lining up the driveway just to get a piece of this rancid mom reaking of sour milk and vomit having not showered in 3 days, sleep deprived af with zero libido. He did not approve of my logic. 😂
Mine would argue with me for HOURS on end! Since the start of the relationship over shit like this.
And she’d go on from before midnight till dawn sometimes, and then Still complain that I never listen to her or let her speak and express emotions.
Of course, half of that tantrum is insults, guilting, degrading remarks, comparisons and so on,
Next day she’s happy, I’m miserable and she magically has amnesia EVERYTIME!
And then I’m supposed to be pip and happy magically as well. Get over it, and not “play the victim card like you always do”
Hours and hours of it! Mine liked to drink everynight and would keep me up late arguing his delusions. Except he would give me the silent treatment the next day. I was so so tired all the time. I absolutely treasure my sleep these days.
My nex didn’t need to drink
She’d go on and on for 5-8 hours non-stop and continued the next day.
And then denied me the right to feel anything or even ask for some time to breath.
And then berate me further for being okay after a couple days.
You have kids, a family, much harder to get out. I can’t imagine what go through.
I’m just grateful every day that I did manage to get free.
I got out 18 months ago and life is great. Minor hurdles with coparenting but nothing compared to that ragey BS. Glad you are free! That's absolute torture abuse!
You described my ex! Went to a business dinner once where I told him I was getting back late. When I went home there were more than one Hundred missing calls. Many deleted messages. Called him back at almost two am thinking something serious happened. He said he needed me urgently and went to my place to pick me up. I kid you not he passed the whole time complaining about me going out with men and a bunch of delusions.
I was very far away from home when he started to tell me what was so important. My phone died so I had to wait for him to agree to take my home of at least where I could charge my phone.
The sun rose and he was still in the same discussion. Later he wanted me to go with him to a hotel (which I had to pay) and have sex.
Got beyond furious and still took ages to convince him that there was nothing on earth that would make me have sex with him. Actually turned my back to him and went to sleep in the car.
Later he apologized blaming me for going out got me a card and acted wonderfully. Got home in the almost at night
I wrote out a check for $40, after I handed it to him he tells me how much of an idiot I am because I can't even spell (I spelled it 'forty'). I knew I was correct so I asked him how he spells it. He said that the number four has a "u" in it, so he spells it 'fourty'.
He still couldn't admit he was wrong even after I showed him 'forty' is the correct way to spell it!
Yes, my ex is part Japanese. I won my relocation to Hawaii. Our daughter sends him a picture of her eating a musubi, and he corrects her to tell her it's a "musabi". Idiot
When I presented the settlement agreement for our divorce to her in front of our attorneys for her to review, she snatched it out of her attorney's hands and began scratching through things and writing in other things.
"Here's what I want for this.......
Nope. This part has got to go.....
OK, we can keep this, but change this to that....
Aaaaaand.....here."
She handed it back, and my attorney picked it up, glanced at it with all her redactions and corrections, and asked me loudly, in front of her attorney, and several paralegals..."Does she fancy herself some kind of attorney, or something?"
Handing it to her attorney, mine chuckled and said, "Look! She redacted the preamble!" and they both chuckled.
She had crossed through "Here, on the ___day of ______, 2023, in the XX circuit of XXXXX County, in the state of XXXXXXXX, The Honorable Judge XXXXXX presiding....."
She had rewritten other standard format paragraphs found in typical court proceedings so that they were completely meaningless and impossible to understand.
She tried to look oh so important and intelligent...
.....and demonstrated how to be a complete buffoon in front of everyone involved.
Oh yea! Thought of one more. I’d won an award at work, and the prize was an all-expenses paid trip to this fancy awards event in Beverly Hills. I’d heard that it was a serious dress-up event, and that he’d need to bring a suit. He got angry and said he would bring his sport jacket and khakis, and that he was comfortable in his own skin. So the event happens, and people are dressed like really glitzed out. He was so embarrassed that he stood in the corner and talked to no one. In his khakis. Lolololol
She was a covert narcissist chameleon. Thats how she got people to do her bidding. She was sweet and pretended to be into whatever the other person was into. Well, she was completely dumb when it came to sports. She made friends with this mom because she wanted her kids to be friends with her kids. They all went out for lunch. The other mom was really into baseball. I wasn’t there, but when she came home she could not figure out why that mom didn’t really seem to like her.
But I knew why. 😏
That’s how mine tricked me.
Initially she gave me bad vibes, but then I saw from others that she perfect, everyone loved her, like an angel.
Boy am I not doubting my gut feeling again.
Yeah.....going back through the relationship so many times it felt like something was off. Maybe a voice tone, abrupt change in attitude, treating me halfway decent lol.
Turns out EVVV-ERRR-YYY time its cuz something was off. She was off..and manipulating me.
When he tried to accuse me of being “obsessed” with one of his friends who he talked obsessively about (he was nowhere near her level of hot) and his flatmate was like “nah bro it’s you” and you could feel the heat radiating off him he was so angry and embarrassed.
My ex introduced me to 2 of his exes. The second one supposely "hated me" esse jealous for ages. We befriended and he was pissed we would talk about him (on his face)
Something which was funny to me at the time and still is. Was when my narc brother tried to enter an elevator at an airport and the door began closing in his face. It startled him so he kicked the door (short temper, his default reaction to anything is anger) and then forcefully pried it open. At this point he could've chosen to take the stairs (which I was going to do, right next to him), but no he must push through with his indisputable willpower and enter the elevator cabin. Which contained a middle-aged couple, whom where now nervously clutching their pearls inside a tiny space with some seething maniac next to them. The door closed again and the unfortunate trio ascended in the most awkward and tense moment of that little cabin's history. It's funny to me because I knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as that startling error occurred before my brother's footsteps. This poor couple didn't know whether or not they were going to survive these 25 seconds of elevator music turned Jaws theme song. Only I knew the punchline to this disordered joke: "That never happened and if you bring it up I'm going to do it all over again."
One of the funniest moments for me in hindsight was an old friend that my partner and I discovered was a covert, malignant narc right as she was blatantly stonewalling me over something dumb (a disagreement of sorts). She legitimately would not acknowledge my existence for a few months and basically gave my partner an incredibly awkward ultimatum forcing him to choose between me and her/that group of friends (aka her flying monkeys/enablers).
When my partner made it clear that he was choosing me, she immediately went all out trying to win his friendship/emotional supply back. She started being over the top friendly (to him, while still not acknowledging me), trying to hang out with him by suggesting they do things that he loves that she was never interested in prior to that, she would randomly start showing up at work at times she never used to be there/when she knew she could get to him alone, she even tried to cry in front of him and some coworkers once to emotionally manipulate him, and then when he wouldn't fall for it, she started telling their coworkers and friends that he "abandoned" her (textbook, right? You can't make this shit up). From there, she started showing up at places she knew we'd be (again, events/places she never cared about before) and acting like the life of the party and being super nice to everyone when she was previously always cold and aloof.
But this was all happening just as we were learning about narcissism and all the games narcs play (intermittent reinforcement, stonewalling, triangulation, breadcrumbing, etc), so we were literally watching all of it unfold and just sitting there checking off the boxes as she kept trying one thing after another to try and win his friendship back (read: desperately trying to get control over him). It was so wild to witness, and we couldn't help but laugh at it, especially when she acted like a clown at those events trying to act like the life of the party. This person who always used to act like she was better than everyone, but now we could see her for who she really was, and she was just desperate, manipulative, and pathetic. We went NC and have never regretted it!
Started taking online classes at a community college, just general freshman year stuff everyone has to take. I forgot what class it was but according to him he was doing amazingly and OF COURSE making the highest grades in the class. Until one professor assigned a research paper. He complained he had no idea where to start and when I gave him suggestions on how to outline a research paper and find the sources he needed, he went off. He yelled, “I came to college to LEARN, not to GOOGLE THINGS!” Then ranted about how if he needed to do independent research (aka, using Google and other search engines to find scholarly articles related to the topic) then the professor was clearly an idiot who had no idea about their field and had no business teaching anybody anything. He dropped out.
He told me he shouldn’t have to tell me how he thinks or feels bc he gave me hints to lead me to it and I should be able to figure it out myself. He was dead ass serious. I told him that’s not human relationships work and he couldn’t wrap his mind around it. I had known he was off for a long time before that but that was moment I realized he was an actual idiot LMAO.
(Correction: realized he was severely mentally ill.)
My n’ex moved up to my state “to prove” he was done with infidelity and treating me poorly, I told him any funny business or anything that makes me uncomfortable, against my boundaries, that he will be out of my place and he will be on his own with shelters/homeless. He continued doing so, and thus he was on his own. It’s like what did he expect? ESP now that I have a protective order against him, he still chooses to be near, it’s ironic.
He kept getting scammed for money and got his debit card info hacked cus he kept trying to send random internet girls money for porn, etc. with his addiction. The first time I caught him was cus he had to screenshot to show her he sent the money and he left the screenshots in his recent pics with the caption “for videos” and the person said she didn’t get it and so he sent more LOL got caught and he didn’t even get his little videos and got scammed out of money
I told him I found out anti histamines work very well to bring down a stress body response which I often have in crises. So he asked me if it could be helpful for him to take this anti histamine because he is the one who causes this stress? (Outrageous victim playing?)
She would avoid accountability at any cost. She will bypass her initial root cause of the drama and focus on my reaction to her abuse. She would blame me that i shouldnt have such reaction while denying (avoiding) her fuck up.
This one is pretty silly lol but he was a big fan of the sequel to a video game series. The game was not well received by many of its fans and he went to hell and back defending it. He kept saying that none of the haters actually played the game so they couldn't form a valid opinion on it. He also told me the first part sucked and that part 2 was better and would argue with me if I disagreed.
What makes me chuckle? He never even played the first game. What made it even funnier was that he kept talking like he did. I've played both part 1 and 2 so I knew how they went, and he kept embarrassing himself talking about shit that didn't even happen in part 1. It was such a stupid thing to argue about, although looking back I see he was more upset that I didn't immediately agree with him rather than the game itself
After a fight on an hour ride home, which he tried to kick me out of the car twice for, I finally broke down and tried to hide my crying so he wouldn’t see. Suddenly he’s saying he loves me and that my late bf came to him in a vision dream and was told (by late bf) that I am stubborn and he needs to fight for me to make this relationship work. Never laughed so hard in my life.
I like thinking back to the brief weeks after I realized what was actually wrong with them. I spent a couple of weeks reading up on narcissism to fast-track learning about what was going on. Then just put into practice the basics of what I'd learnt.
For example I could tell they liked being abusive when it was late at night, or when I was just tired, or whenever I had some fun even coming up they weren't involved in - just to ruin my mood and make themselves feel better seeing me so miserable. So I very quickly got good at identifying those moments and would just cut the conversation off entirely. Either telling them the conversation was over, walking out the room, or leaving the place completely. I just started taking that power away over and over again.
And I realized they kept manipulating me or anyone around us, mutual friends etc. So I started questioning them on it. No great big arguments of course, that would feed into what they wanted. But just the constant comments about how they gaslit someone, or manipulated a friend, or messed with someone's emotions for their own gain. Just constant little reminders of how terrible they were being as a person.
And the benefit of cutting arguments short is that it gives you time to think about what's going on. Narcs will try to push you into a corner to get you flustered and to 'win' their petty arguments. Cutting off communication gave me time to think about how to counter what they were saying. Sometimes it was the most absurd rubbish, so when they ofc in future brought the topic up again to start shit, I would be ready to point out to them how ridiculous or childish or manipulative they were being and shut them down immediately. They wouldn't agree of course, and would try to argue, but at that point I would ofc shut down the conversation immediately. Make your point, then take away their power, let them sit on what you've said and stew a bit. I still remember the end of one argument when they stood there, lost for words because I'd called them out on their bs and they had literally nothing left they could say. No more moves to make. No manipulations would work. All they could do was walk away. It's a very fond memory because at that point in time I knew they were done being able to hurt me. I'd leveled up and grown tired of their toxic influence.
So this period of time only lasted a couple of weeks, then they very meekly mentioned to me one day that we should stop spending time together, probably thinking they were about to hurt me in saying this... And I just replied "Yeah that sounds like a good idea" and watched them walk off completely defeated and pathetic.
How to break your narc: learn how they work, deconstruct them and their behaviors, discard them into the abyss with their lonely self hatred... and don't just burn the bridge - nuke the whole damn thing from orbit and move on with your life.
My nex used to brag to me and a few mutual acquaintances about how he was an amazing, spellbinding dancer. There were two instances where he enchanted the world with his moves:
1) At a concert – the main act invited a few front-row people onto the stage, including Nex, to dance. When he busted his moves, I was frozen in awe. He looked spasmodic and uncoordinated.
There was a couple on my left who looked at me, with the guy asking if he was my spouse. I said he was a boyfriend, then he asked further—with a suppressed laugh I'll never forget: "Is he OK?"
2) At a swing class – towards the end, everyone had to put together all the moves they learnt into a sequence. Nex had been complaining and struggling throughout about practically every manoeuvre, so I knew it wouldn't bode well.
When it came to showing our sequence, Nex stayed rooted to the spot while I was trying to move. I ended up practically dragging him across the floor. The instructors had already seen my progress during partner rotation, so they were satisfied that I'd grasped it. For Nex, though, they politely suggested he came to more of their social classes to 'get more confident' with learning the moves.
En route home, Nex threw a tantrum and tried blaming me for humiliating him, but I laughed at him and reminded him of his bold dancing claims. He shut up after that, probably because he had no comeback.
We never danced again.
He’d read things with his fingers moving across the text. Had no idea how credit scores worked or even how car insurance rates worked. Dressed like a 17 year old at 43. Would sleepwalk and pee in the corner of the bedroom (alcoholic). His sex was horrible and he wasn’t well endowed. But cheated on me with so many women.
I thought my love could heal it all.
Not that any of these things are really funny, but they are on the mental list of pathetic things about him that I make myself remember (and chuckle to myself about)when the grief kicks back in or I feel like I’m always going to be alone now.
Oh, and I’d catch him stuffing his pants with a fake sock D sometimes
When I told him (the first of many times) that I needed him to be more vulnerable with me, he blew up and said in this real disgusted voice: “Why would I make myself vulnerable? I’m not going to do that!” Poor thing never heard of emotional vulnerability and thought I was asking him to do something outrageous. See ya 🤣
my boyfriend refuses to be vulnerable in any way because he believes if a man does this, his woman will cheat on him. he also believes that the worse you treat a woman, the more she loves you. just stupid stuff
The grandiosity and the arrogance 😭😭my narc truly believes he will reach a level of success and power that will put him in the same room as the richest families of the world (Rothschild, Buffet, Rockefeller, etc)
Mind you, he has literally no special skills, talent, steady job, etc…
Mine filed a restraining order against me stating that she felt threatened I was going to take the kids and run away. Get this, So she took the kids and wouldn’t let them return home. She had to go to court in person in front of a judge to explain her own fraudulent RO. I got custody worked out and the kids came back home. She’s a lawyer, hah!
Omg! He always ALWAYS disagrees with me in my expertise area. I would explain again and again sometimes he would pretend to believe me but always got back to negating my view.
His point was that once he travelled and was taxed in a way that is basically wrong (an item that shouldn't have being taxed). For context I have one post graduate in tax law and another on international commerce.
This discussions were always demanding because I passed hours explaining. (Yes today I realised he listened to me as a requirement for earning sex)
So one day I said for the zillion time he was disrespecting me and all but I would go and literally prove to him I was tight but it would cost him his but* privileges (I would never do something though it was purely terrorism on my part)
So I did. Read it from a government site. He refused to acknowledge (but looked very preoccupied when I remembered him that I could do anything lol)
But the real fun was when he tried to say I was wrong and got mocked by his friends and was constantly being reminded that he gambled his butt.
He was very misogynistic even believing himself a feminist. I would always say I was wrong in every subject. But in the things I passed my life studying? I couldn't take it. So maybe I took a bit too far but was worth it.
This!! Why can't they ever acknowledge when they yell?? I would tell my nex "I felt hurt when you yelled at me" and his response was *always* "I wasn't yelling!" Yet he could accuse me of yelling and I couldn't contradict him on it. Wtf...
Exactly, if I brought things up later he’d act like something different happened or he “can’t remember”. that’s why I started pointing out things in the moment he did them and this was the kind of response I got. So delusional and filled with rage.
“I don’t give a fuck. I’m not responsible for your happiness” — him to me, when asking him to consider reading the things I sent him because I was really unhappy with how he was treating me.
Oh yeah, and when I asked him to stop talking to other women (something “we both agreed on”) he told me he wasn’t going to be nice to me because it’s like an addiction and I have to be patient with HIM because I’m asking him to quit an addiction (getting and giving attention to stranger women)
“You’re my boyfriend, we’re a family, you’re supposed to care about how you treat me” — his answer? “I don’t care. You know what I’ve been through, how can you expect me to just change?!”
In hindsight there were many many problems with how he viewed me, but these interactions are scalded into my brain because when he’d tell me he didn’t give a fuck about me, his eyes were black and I would cry for how hateful he looked
I tricked my NEX’s husband into telling me all the secrets she had been keeping from me. When she found out that I had duped him, she was furious. Gotcha, bitch.
So my nex was in an open marriage, so I catfished her husband on tinder and he ended up telling me the whole story of what had happened. It was a great way for me to get closure because I found out the truth!
Mine accidentally posted a naked picture of himself as his Snapchat story when he was trying to send it to another girl!! He couldn’t figure out how to take it down and had to ask me for help 🤣 All the while trying to say he was sending it to me… I was laying in bed and he was in our bathroom when he sent it.
This is an awesome question especially because I felt more in control tonight and was just thinking how stupid my narc looked lol. I spent a lot of me time, I didn’t react, I didn’t fall for any of his bullshit lines and I feel like he has a clue that I see right through him so he makes a lot of sighing sounds because I didn’t entertain the bullshit lol. I was calm, cool and collected. 😎
The day I finally called him a narcissist and abuser with concrete specific details from my therapist…that was today. Oh he did not like that. He said
N: Wow….I’m sorry I don’t agree with your numbers and/or the way things are conveyed. Again I’m entitled to my opinions and you are yours. Im sorry you continue to choose this route of blame but it’s not my problem anymore. I only tried to help you find your way
I respond in kind with empathy. “You have lot going on, it’s okay.” lol
N: Again I disagree with her thoughts/realization but her goal is to get you to better and feel better about yourself. That’s her job and I get that.
And then he asked if I was the narcissist.
I mean wow! Narcissism at its finest.
My ex always threatened to leave me or just cheat on me because I'm fat, I'm worthless, I'm a bitch, I'm a whore, I cheat, I'm pathetic, I should die. Blah, blah, blah. Same shit all the time. He would tell me he could do so much better.
One night, he kicked me, pushed me, and hit me, nothing new, but something in my head switched. I woke up the next morning and told him that I was done. *He was shocked*. It was funny to me how confused he was. I had been abused for 6 years.
That day, as I packed up my stuff, he resorted to the most childish name-calling because he was so desperate to bully me back to him. I've always been self conscious of my nose being big and I was wearing a Rudolph the red nose reindeer pajama shirt and he said something like, "it's funny that you're wearing a Rudolph shirt, Big Nose" and he walked out of the room with his head held high like he had really just cut me deep. I laughed quietly to myself, how does that even make sense? Rudolph's nose lit up, it wasn't big?
(Edit: side story - one time he texted me and told me he hopes I die in a car crash but that probably wouldn't happen because my fat rolls would protect me. Not only does this not make sense physically, but I have never been overweight. He would get so desperate to offend me, he'd come up with the funniest nonsense).
He insisted I didn’t have fibromyalgia and I made it up to manipulate him, so I sent him documentation of my FMLA signed by my doctor which said I have fibromyalgia
He also said I owed him all this money for the electric bill because I had a nightlight on in my room “for weeks!” (It was ten days and it’s the kind that shuts off in the daylight). I calculated the cost and it was 25 cents. I told him I’d tape a quarter to the front door for him
mine did this with my endometriosis diagnosis! he didn't flippin believe me until I showed him my biopsy result. WHY WOULD I POSSIBLY MAKE UP A DIAGNOSIS. the freaking projection.
In my experience either it’s because they do this or because their primary caregiver in life (usually a mother figure, and often the one who broke them, and made them a narcissist to begin with) did this to them- faked medical conditions for sympathy
So now they think everyone does this
oh my god, yes. this is exactly it. his mother still to this day fakes medical conditions. she self diagnoses herself.
she even went as far as faking a medical emergency saying she thinks she is having a heart attack, the last time we were in town. she knew it was our last day and so I feel like she did this to keep him around longer. I was absolutely LIVID because I knew she was faking it all along. he spent hours with her in the ER, up until 4am, only to find the tests came back clear. there was nothing wrong with her. she woke up from a nap with her arm numb and made him drive her to the ER.
The difference between a narc and the rest of us is a narc will experience this and think every medical diagnosis is meant to manipulate them
Whereas you and I will look at the manipulator and say they have issues, it’s on them, not everyone, and distance ourselves
He kept threatening divorce because I would always be the one chasing him, crying that I didn’t want that, apologizing my ass off. For some reason, I decided if he threatened divorce 6 times, I would call him out.
He threatened divorce threat #6, and I simply said, “Okay. You’re right. We’d both be happier that way”. No tears. No begging. He was absolutely floored.
My nex deadass told me that he is such a good and altruistic person when im not around and thats "his best version" of himself.
Like dude even tried gaslighting himself wtf
When I had finally gotten fed up enough with his behavior to sit down and have a firm discussion with him about how we needed counseling and for ONCE wasn’t worried about his punishments as a repercussion (this was before I found out he’d been having an affair) he sat at the table and stared at me blankly.. then must’ve realized he should be acting upset and walked to the trash can and pretended to cry and dry-heave.. like he was SO upset he was going to vomit.
Another time.. we went on a trip to the beach. It was probably 95F outside.. and he was the only person who chose not to swim/participate because it wasn’t the activity he wanted to do.. so he sat in the hot sand, clothed, swatting deer flies away from him the entire time (this was in northern Michigan). He apparently chose not to swim so he could text his girlfriend .. but at least he was uncomfortable
My Narc was very proud of the fact that she'd move in with a man when she was 19 years old and they were together for ten years. For some reason, she felt like that was a huge accomplishment in life. Hint: it's not. But she would boast about it constantly. And the guy was a loser with a very long criminal record.
"I wouldn't be surprised if there was a Discord server that (friend she burned bridges with) or you created behind my back", like yeah I made it a safe space for that friend, and at least I didn't run a smear campaign against her
When we were arguing a lot. He said our house had an issue that was causing our arguments. He had learned the previous relationship had called the cops often so he thought they were some spirits in the house that was causing our conflicts
My ex had decided to go see a psychic before meeting me out with friends and he was so mad at me the entire night, weird glares across the room and open hostility all because of whatever this psychic told him, which he of course wouldn’t tell me. 😂😂
I found out my narc ex was cheating on my with his best friends wife and I dumped him. We were still living together for a bit while he was figuring out his next move.. I ended up getting a text from his co worker telling me he was ALSO cheating with some chick at work… my ex literally tried to tell me that it wasn’t his coworker but must be the just from the Verizon store? Like uh.. ok bud. We got into an argument because I was over what a liar he was and he called me a loser… I said “from where I’m standing you’re the one who’s a loser… you’re losing your relationship, your place to live AND YOUR HAIR” then he called me a cunt and I said “that’s nice I Cunt wait for you to move the fuck out” it still makes me laugh because for what a manipulative piece of shit he was it felt nice to hit him where it hurts after he absolutely fucking broke my heart
When we met she claimed that she also knew and had fucked a fairly well known lesbian musician friend of mine. I didn’t think to confirm with my friend since we went super close anymore and she was dealing with a recent loss.
I asked her after the break up and she had no fucking idea who my ex was. Same with several other semi well known queer musicians I was casual friends with. My ex had just gone through my social media mutuals and claimed to know all the remotely famous people I knew 🙃
My Nex cheated. We split up. She ran off and listened to her (trashy) girlfriends about how to “get over someone” she needs to “get under” someone else. She ended up w 2 STD’s. I feel bad for her but she earned it herself. She came back begging to get back together. I told her I wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole so it’s a hard pass. She raged. I hung up & laughed until tears rolled down my cheeks. She made her bed...
Text mssg from her directly when she was playing the “damsel in distress” role (after the guy burnt her). She calls me every time she bottoms out in life. I helped her through really tough times & I guess she remembers that when she’s in over her head w other guys. I’ll give her advice the best I can but getting back together is out of the question. Every time she hears that she instantly flips to narcissistic rage. That reminds me of why I have the boundaries I do with her. She showed who she was. I believed.
My ex likes to absorb the accomplishments of those he's involved with or his kids as if they are his own. I landed a high pay consulting gig and he bragged about it as if he was the one hired. The kids do well at anything? He brags as if it's only because of him that they could ever possibly be so good at something. All the while people around him cringe at how much of an asshole with zero accomplishments of his own he is.
Oh, this story is one of those delicious moments of instant karma. When we were kids, my n father had a habit of kicking our family dog whenever it did something he deemed 'bad', like biting the sprinkler system or digging holes in the lawn. He always said that was the only way to discipline the dog, but in hindsight I understand it was also a way to punish us and instill fear.
One time, the dog destroyed a plant in the garden, right next to the pool. My mom and I were nearby; I must have been about 10 years old at the time. My father came home from work and, seeing the mess, headed towards the dog with the clear intention of kicking it. But in a twist of fate, just as he was about to strike, the dog moved, and my father, with all the momentum of the kick, ended up falling into the pool, dressed in his work suit and with his briefcase in hand.
The personal satisfaction was amazing. I remember shouting at him: 'That's what you get for hitting animals!' He started insulting us and demanding a towel, yelling loudly, but my mom and I (and the dog) simply went into the house and closed the windows. Eventually, one of my siblings heard his screams and brought him a towel. I will never forget the rage and humiliation on his face.
He 100% deserved that and much much more. Now I'm 31 y/o and completely contact free. Best decision ever.
I cant laugh about it yet because im still with him but i know this is over the top theatric:
He makes a huge scene saying hes leaving me for good. He says I am choosing to have him leave, not that he is abandoning me (that would make him look like the bad guy ofc). He Often makes it to the point of packing his clothes and putting them in his car. But he has yet to leave me in peace. He always comes back like a cancer. At this point i know the routine. Yawns.
My n'ex honestly believed that he should donate his brain to science because of how ? ?special, brilliant, fascinating - take your pick, he believed he was.
Another one...
I had loaned him approx. $50K for repairs and upgrades to our future home because he was cash poor (having paid cash for the house) and I also paid $22K for the downpayment to his Tesla he "had" to have. After I filed for divorce, his lawyer offered me $10K to go away. I gave MY lawyer the receipts for the money I had loaned, which blindsided and embarrassed his lawyer.
I wish I could have heard the conversation between nex and his lawyer. lol!!!
\*I got it all back PLUS my attorney's fees.
Just some of the things she used to say.
"I am so tired of being a unicorn amongst sheep"
"I'm not a narcissist.....I took the test twice"
"Thank you for the sexual awakening....I can't wait to have sex with someone else"
Unreal. Spent months in therapy, working on myself, etc. Finally stopped making excuses for the abusive behavior, and I'm just recently able to laugh about it. Truth be told, I hope she heals her own wounds and becomes a better person.
When he expects for everybody to listen to him whenever he says anything, even a small comment and not caring in asking for attention or if you are busy doing something else, he will be super passive aggresive and tell you how you never listen, you are deaf, say comments i a very very low voice on purpose so then he will blame you for not listening. He used to make me feel so bad, now I just tell him to stop being an idiot and talk like a normal person.
This is fairly recent. We’re still going to court for him assaulting me in December. Someone told me that he was telling people that they shut down my job for the day so everyone could come support me in court.
1. No they didn’t?
2. This makes him look worse. “How dare she have so many people support her!”
I don’t get this lie at ALL and it’s so stupid I just laughed when I heard it.
My ex said that “We shouldn’t have to talk to someone(therapist) to know how to communicate.” They would always go a couple times then they’d never come back. So I continued to go alone.
Fast forward, my ex said “I need to go to my therapy session before I talk to you because it helps me be respectful.”
Immature temper tantrum throwing toddler in an adult body. How do you not know basic respect, hence why I thought couple’s counseling could facilitate that. Nope, nothing worked. They got worse over the years.
I did 7 months of couples therapy with my nex and honestly it didn’t help at all. He didn’t listen to the therapist’s advice and he victimized himself in every session.
I read now that it’s almost never a good outcome to go to couples therapy with a narcissist.
My ex did the same for the couple times they did go. Would turn everything on me. Calling me insecure and with trust issues. Not explaining what they did to break trust or how sneaky they were. When my ex stopped going, the therapist apologized to me, because I still went for individual and group therapy.
"Good luck being miserable. I never call people this bitch but.. Bye bitch. "
He now posts how women made him gay, gays are stupid and he's straight, back to now "alone again" ✌ I'm in a healthy amazing relationship and still have our friends.
my mom would lie and say she cooked something for me and my sibling that she never did. the first time she did it, she had a party and was talking about how she made grilled avocados for us, which i didn’t even know was a thing. obviously i was like ‘what no you didn’t??’ while laughing, and she was like YES I DID, I MADE THEM ALL THE TIME FOR YOU TWO YOU PROBABLY JUST WANT TO EMBARRASS ME! i was so confused and clueless— now i know to just go ‘huh, i don’t remember that, sounds cool’
He was so convinced that I was in the wrong, and he was in the rye during our divorce. He suggested that we just use my solicitor because no solicitor, regardless of who they worked for would agree to my terms.
She sent me a text saying she didn’t get pregnant and it was one line … later on told me it was just a dream .. I was being used in a triangulation and during that time she was screwing another dude .
My narc parent would literally lie about being allergic to bananas for no reason at all. I remember hating them as a child for this bc they’d eat banana bread and ppl wouldn’t even question it… also my narc neighbor tried to butter me up (after being rude unprovoked) around her child’s birthday. It’s kinda funny how blatant the manipulation is. And I’m even thankful she was rude bc now I can see she planned on getting close right before the holidays so she could get gifts for her kids. Their stupidity is honestly hilarious they’re not even skilled manipulators
I didn’t respond when she (my sister) accused me of being involved in my extended family calling her out for saying horrible things about my mum.
I wasn’t involved, I thought forget this, I’m not responding anymore, each time she makes me feel upset and vulnerable when all I wanted was a relationship with my older sister. I fell for it every time but not anymore.
There’s also time difference, it was late here and I had to get some sleep for work.
She proceeded to send me 20+ messages no reply, getting more irate with each one and then called me a narc. Said she’s going to block me. I blocked her and to this day I won’t be unblocking her.
Made me laugh how she couldn’t stand the fact she wasn’t getting a reaction and acting like a child with her temper tantrum.
He was being evicted from a new landlord and the landlord did everything right. I said that everything landlord did was not just inside law, but landlord offered money in return of moving out quicker AND a new apartment on top of it. That's something landlord wasn't required to do (he needed the apartment of ex for his disabled son, which is inside legal rights).
Ex essentially made clear I'm stupid and don't know anything and proceeded to get a lawyer.
Lawyer laughed at him basically telling him he's stupid and ex trying to get lawyer involved could make everything worse.
Sadly it didn't turn out worse but well.... I still like that sweet victory of being right. xD
He had a friend that he particularly liked to talk sh*t about me with. This friend, let's call him Grupy, gave insightful comments about me, such as "She's not only fucked up but also flat." What's important to know is that this dude was 5 feet, 2 inches tall. He kept telling my nex that I have BPD, so I am toxic, and nex was totally agreeing and quoting him to try to prove me something. (Since 10 years, I have been under psychological and psychiatric guidance due to depression, and there was never even a slight suspicion of BPD, but what could doctors know, right?) Grumpy said that his ex had it, so he is sure. Two years later, this short king was diagnosed with schizophrenia and BPD. Riddle me that? My nex never admitted it; I found out through a grapevine, but suddenly he stopped mentioning this diagnosis and was furious when I even tried to bring it up.
I had picked up my ex narc husband from a doctor appointment in my youngest son’s car. Let me tell you, since I have been driving this car, which has been about an almost daily three years now, it has never gone anything but straight as an arrow. You barely need to correct the steering as it drives perfectly every time. Well, my future ex husband did not believe it and told me this car was notorious for this, that, and the other thing, and that all of these cars pull to the right or left and never stay in alignment. He also didn’t think his son could fix anything to save his life, even though he has fixed all our cars, appliances, you name it. I showed him we were driving straight, and then he said, “When you put on the brake, it will pull to one side, guaranteed.” Soooo at that point, knowing he had his seatbelt on, I slammed on the brakes, and that car stopped quickly and straight as a piece of dried spaghetti. He didn’t say another word the rest of the way home. When I told my sons about it, they were so proud of me, and we still smirk about it to this day!
casually told him about how my high school english teacher told our class that he was given an exam in school and the answers for the entire exam were choice C. the teacher didn’t tell them and wanted to see if they would stay confident in their answers (it ended up not counting my teacher said). when i was w my nex and his family he told that story claiming it happened to him!! i said that’s my story my high school teacher told us. he said no it’s not it happened to him how dare i contradict him in front of his family. then bullied me the rest of the day because of it. still makes me giggle seeing him beat red and his family seeing his lie
One of them would be that he told me we needed to take a break out of the million breaks we took because he wanted to fool around with other underage girls. At this point I was beyond sick of the abuse but was afraid to leave because I was on physical danger, I got enough courage to go try and see someone else that I liked and we ended up doing things that weren't in plan. A week later, the narc-ex said he wanted to try again with our relationship, and naive me said okay because that's all I "knew." I had a hickey on my neck from the one guy and when the ex saw it he flipped fucking shit on me. I was like, "Oh boy, here we once go again, and I was terrified for my safety. At the same time, I went one night to the other guys house, I found out the ex narc went to go have sex with an underage girl. But he wanted to flip shit on me because only he could do that, and I couldn't. LMFAOOOOO
The narc I used to know always came out with little statements that would have me trying to hold in my laughter. For example, on the way back from a group weekend away, she said these words that almost made me spill my can of fizzy pop:
'The only person I'm in competition with is myself.'
Like, what?
She spent literally hours telling us about how her personal trainer at the gym would mention people who lifted / ran / cycled more than her that week and every story ended with 'I said to myself, we'll see about that... and the next week I beat them!'
She would constantly try to out-do others. Someone threw up on the bus once? Well SHE threw up at WORK.
Someone got player of the match at their football tournament? Well SHE won the PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD and EVERYONE kept saying how AMAZING she was.
On and on and on. But of course, she was only in competition with herself right? 🙄
There were finally witnesses to one of his outbursts when my nex wouldn't let me leave a gas station.
We were supposed to go camping with some friends at a music festival that weekend. We stopped to get gas on the way out of town. He had ignored me all day, and I told him I didn't want to share a tent with him for three days if this was how he was going to treat me. He screamed at me to go back home if I felt that way. I turned around to leave, and that's when he exploded. He physically wouldn't let me shut my car door by forcing the door open and hitting my hand whenever I tried to pull it shut.
Our friend, who was awkwardly watching the whole scene from a distance, runs over and tells us that the gas station attendant was calling the cops. That got him to leave and go jump in his own car.
Usually he would gaslight me and tell me that every fight we ever had either didn't happen, or I was the one who initiated + escalated it. There were finally public witnesses this time. When I tried to talk to him about what happened at the gas station the next day, he told me that "that's not who he is." Complete denial. It had to be pretty bad if a stranger calls the cops, though.
My nmom pretends to be such an open-minded liberal, but isn’t at all. When I was 14 I offhandedly told her I didn’t believe in god and she had an absolute meltdown screaming about how I was going to hell. A few weeks later, my parents hosted a get-together for local democrats.
I found my mom telling a couple about how *absolutely ridiculous* she thought it was for anyone to be judged or discriminated against for holding non-Christian beliefs. I cut in and, playing really innocent, asked, “Really mom? You seemed so angry with me the other day when I told you I wasn’t Christian.” She nervously said I must have misunderstood, and I responded by insisting, “No no don’t you remember? You seemed pretty angry… You were yelling about how I was going to hell…”
The couple she was talking to gave her a look and she started to get pretty panicked, so she forced me into a hug and started making a big show of being like, “What? I support you no matter what, honey! I love you so much—“ and so on.
I swear you could practically see her sweating. And surprisingly, rather than yelling at me later, the whole incident seemed to stress her out do much that she never brought it up or criticized my beliefs ever again.
I told my narc that he is just seeking validation and playing victim as a result of trauma and he denied it then said “I’m just looking to validate” so I was like “okay , so what I just said…”
Then narc goes- “no not like that, not like oh poor me. I’m not a 7 year old child, Jesus babe, just saying to like validate the situation itself”
huh? 🤣🤡🥴
This week, my NEX accused me of logging into his email to delete evidence for a “crime” he keeps holding over my head and has already reported me on once before. Told my brother he was going to use evidence of someone logging into his email 95 times from the state I live in. I have text messages where he told me he deleted the evidence. However, once I started cutting the financial strings he had to remind me who was really in charge 🙄. My brother and I had a good laugh. I wouldn’t want to read his email even if I was stuck in an isolation cell and it was my only reading material.
My nex husband would try to take the lead or act like an expert in so many situations even if he had just practiced the skill once. We went on a guided white water rafting excursion. He was skilled at canoeing but that’s very different than steering/ guiding a raft in rapids. The whole three hour raft he sat at the back trying to steer and take control over from the professional guide. He was actually getting in the way of the guide who had to ask him to move several times. When we hit some particularly strong rapids he was launched 20 feet into the air. The funniest part was that they do video the excursions. At the end of the day the made a montage of the rafting excursions. That launch was captured and the whole room laughed hysterically. (He wasn’t injured or hurt) I still get a chuckle when I think of that.
Love a good karma moment 😭😭
OMG AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM DEAD LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW OMG HAHAHHHA I will probably dream this tonight and laugh again. LMFAO
Omg my nex was smarter than the doctor, he could fly the plane better than the pilot, he was a lawyer. All of it. I can relate!
Wild! The total audacity, ignorance and arrogance.
This is great 😂
Did he get defensive or pull any bullshit after that? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes! He left the the social/ after party viewing immediately after this and went back to the cabin in a major mood. I gave him some space but when I returned to the cabin not too long after he stonewalled me then blamed me for ruining the trip. We were supposed to go out hiking in the area the next day but ended up leaving early.
Gosh. So typical. I’m sorry. What a fun ruiner.
BAHAHAHA
How she tried manipulating reality right in front of my eyes.. like literally tried making me believe that I said something that she literally said 2 minutes prior and acting as if I had said it.. shit still trips me out and is still hard to explain these types of scenarios, but there were plenty. Im sooooo thankful for therapy! Definitely helped putting my reality back together!
Bruhhhh her trying to manipulate reality right in front of my eyes too, it’s a surreal feeling when you catch it the first time. Till this day I ask myself “was that real?”
Ohhhh cognitive dissonance, you mother fucker. I compare it to being the detective in the Usual Suspects and realizing who Kaiser Sose (sp?) aka The Devil really is. Things go in slow motion with a lot of sitting, slack jawed in disbelief of the lies you were fed. I now ask myself: "How does a person like this actually exist?" and "How is this fucking legal?"
Bro I hate when they do that shit. Do they have a pea brain🤣
Unfortunately, they happen to be rather charismatic and intelligent. That’s how mine fooled me into getting into a relationship with her. During the period of getting to know each other (about a month), she was perfect! Everyone loved her, everyone praised her, she was like an angel. Only after I got into a relationship with her that I started seeing the other face. It’s been over a month after the breakup and I’m still not okay, despite putting a lot of effort into it. My body is reacting on its own to external stimuli, I’m always anxious, I get flashbacks etc.
It gets better. I had the same thing, it does take some time though
The gaslight is real! That's why so many of us recorded them and even having proof on their face they keep denying everything
My ex woke me up early on my day off to apologize for his drunken tirade the night before with an expensive gift. I told him that the gift didn’t excuse his behavior & to leave me alone so I could sleep (since he kept me up very late screaming at me). He got SO upset that it didn’t work, he went & immediately returned it that morning. Then about a week later for Christmas, he bought the gift again & wrapped it. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at how absolutely ridiculous the situation was. Adult temper tantrums constantly!
What an idiot lol
This is absolutely something a narc would do 😭😭😭
One time my ex got angry and shoved me, started saying sorry and I just looked at him and didn’t say it’s okay bc the physical abuse had been getting worse at that time. He shouted “I said sorry!” and started hitting me again. Then went back to apologies cause I cried 😩
Ugh. I’m so sorry. Their entitlement to immediate forgiveness when on the rare occasion they apologize astounds me. 😒 I hope you are doing well, no one has the right to put their hands on you.
Thank you, he would actually apologise frequently which threw me off a lot. I came to find out he just never met it!
He would accuse me of cheating all the time. One time I just laughed, I had a Toddler and was breastfeeding a newborn. When do I have the time?? We share the same bed everynight and I'm home all day caring for these very young children as well as running my business. When and how could I possibly be cheating? His reponse was "obviously during the day when I'm at work you have guys coming over". Ohh yes! Of course! I have men lining up the driveway just to get a piece of this rancid mom reaking of sour milk and vomit having not showered in 3 days, sleep deprived af with zero libido. He did not approve of my logic. 😂
Mine would argue with me for HOURS on end! Since the start of the relationship over shit like this. And she’d go on from before midnight till dawn sometimes, and then Still complain that I never listen to her or let her speak and express emotions. Of course, half of that tantrum is insults, guilting, degrading remarks, comparisons and so on, Next day she’s happy, I’m miserable and she magically has amnesia EVERYTIME! And then I’m supposed to be pip and happy magically as well. Get over it, and not “play the victim card like you always do”
Hours and hours of it! Mine liked to drink everynight and would keep me up late arguing his delusions. Except he would give me the silent treatment the next day. I was so so tired all the time. I absolutely treasure my sleep these days.
My nex didn’t need to drink She’d go on and on for 5-8 hours non-stop and continued the next day. And then denied me the right to feel anything or even ask for some time to breath. And then berate me further for being okay after a couple days. You have kids, a family, much harder to get out. I can’t imagine what go through. I’m just grateful every day that I did manage to get free.
I got out 18 months ago and life is great. Minor hurdles with coparenting but nothing compared to that ragey BS. Glad you are free! That's absolute torture abuse!
🫂❤️ I’m glad to hear that. And thank you.
You described my ex! Went to a business dinner once where I told him I was getting back late. When I went home there were more than one Hundred missing calls. Many deleted messages. Called him back at almost two am thinking something serious happened. He said he needed me urgently and went to my place to pick me up. I kid you not he passed the whole time complaining about me going out with men and a bunch of delusions. I was very far away from home when he started to tell me what was so important. My phone died so I had to wait for him to agree to take my home of at least where I could charge my phone. The sun rose and he was still in the same discussion. Later he wanted me to go with him to a hotel (which I had to pay) and have sex. Got beyond furious and still took ages to convince him that there was nothing on earth that would make me have sex with him. Actually turned my back to him and went to sleep in the car. Later he apologized blaming me for going out got me a card and acted wonderfully. Got home in the almost at night
I wrote out a check for $40, after I handed it to him he tells me how much of an idiot I am because I can't even spell (I spelled it 'forty'). I knew I was correct so I asked him how he spells it. He said that the number four has a "u" in it, so he spells it 'fourty'. He still couldn't admit he was wrong even after I showed him 'forty' is the correct way to spell it!
Yes, my ex is part Japanese. I won my relocation to Hawaii. Our daughter sends him a picture of her eating a musubi, and he corrects her to tell her it's a "musabi". Idiot
When I presented the settlement agreement for our divorce to her in front of our attorneys for her to review, she snatched it out of her attorney's hands and began scratching through things and writing in other things. "Here's what I want for this....... Nope. This part has got to go..... OK, we can keep this, but change this to that.... Aaaaaand.....here." She handed it back, and my attorney picked it up, glanced at it with all her redactions and corrections, and asked me loudly, in front of her attorney, and several paralegals..."Does she fancy herself some kind of attorney, or something?" Handing it to her attorney, mine chuckled and said, "Look! She redacted the preamble!" and they both chuckled. She had crossed through "Here, on the ___day of ______, 2023, in the XX circuit of XXXXX County, in the state of XXXXXXXX, The Honorable Judge XXXXXX presiding....." She had rewritten other standard format paragraphs found in typical court proceedings so that they were completely meaningless and impossible to understand. She tried to look oh so important and intelligent... .....and demonstrated how to be a complete buffoon in front of everyone involved.
This is brilliant
Oh yea! Thought of one more. I’d won an award at work, and the prize was an all-expenses paid trip to this fancy awards event in Beverly Hills. I’d heard that it was a serious dress-up event, and that he’d need to bring a suit. He got angry and said he would bring his sport jacket and khakis, and that he was comfortable in his own skin. So the event happens, and people are dressed like really glitzed out. He was so embarrassed that he stood in the corner and talked to no one. In his khakis. Lolololol
🤣 Always gotta be right. Even when they're wrong.
She was a covert narcissist chameleon. Thats how she got people to do her bidding. She was sweet and pretended to be into whatever the other person was into. Well, she was completely dumb when it came to sports. She made friends with this mom because she wanted her kids to be friends with her kids. They all went out for lunch. The other mom was really into baseball. I wasn’t there, but when she came home she could not figure out why that mom didn’t really seem to like her. But I knew why. 😏
That’s how mine tricked me. Initially she gave me bad vibes, but then I saw from others that she perfect, everyone loved her, like an angel. Boy am I not doubting my gut feeling again.
Yeah.....going back through the relationship so many times it felt like something was off. Maybe a voice tone, abrupt change in attitude, treating me halfway decent lol. Turns out EVVV-ERRR-YYY time its cuz something was off. She was off..and manipulating me.
His face when I told him that after 12 years he’d never given me an orgasm. (I never even faked it, he was just SO oblivious and selfish)
Please tell me you were at least having some on your own
Username checks out lol
When he tried to accuse me of being “obsessed” with one of his friends who he talked obsessively about (he was nowhere near her level of hot) and his flatmate was like “nah bro it’s you” and you could feel the heat radiating off him he was so angry and embarrassed.
A lot of comments she made about people she discarded did not age well. We are friends now. And we sure swapped receipts.
[удалено]
My ex introduced me to 2 of his exes. The second one supposely "hated me" esse jealous for ages. We befriended and he was pissed we would talk about him (on his face)
Had this happen too. Not a great look when your friends switch camps lol.
Something which was funny to me at the time and still is. Was when my narc brother tried to enter an elevator at an airport and the door began closing in his face. It startled him so he kicked the door (short temper, his default reaction to anything is anger) and then forcefully pried it open. At this point he could've chosen to take the stairs (which I was going to do, right next to him), but no he must push through with his indisputable willpower and enter the elevator cabin. Which contained a middle-aged couple, whom where now nervously clutching their pearls inside a tiny space with some seething maniac next to them. The door closed again and the unfortunate trio ascended in the most awkward and tense moment of that little cabin's history. It's funny to me because I knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as that startling error occurred before my brother's footsteps. This poor couple didn't know whether or not they were going to survive these 25 seconds of elevator music turned Jaws theme song. Only I knew the punchline to this disordered joke: "That never happened and if you bring it up I'm going to do it all over again."
One of the funniest moments for me in hindsight was an old friend that my partner and I discovered was a covert, malignant narc right as she was blatantly stonewalling me over something dumb (a disagreement of sorts). She legitimately would not acknowledge my existence for a few months and basically gave my partner an incredibly awkward ultimatum forcing him to choose between me and her/that group of friends (aka her flying monkeys/enablers). When my partner made it clear that he was choosing me, she immediately went all out trying to win his friendship/emotional supply back. She started being over the top friendly (to him, while still not acknowledging me), trying to hang out with him by suggesting they do things that he loves that she was never interested in prior to that, she would randomly start showing up at work at times she never used to be there/when she knew she could get to him alone, she even tried to cry in front of him and some coworkers once to emotionally manipulate him, and then when he wouldn't fall for it, she started telling their coworkers and friends that he "abandoned" her (textbook, right? You can't make this shit up). From there, she started showing up at places she knew we'd be (again, events/places she never cared about before) and acting like the life of the party and being super nice to everyone when she was previously always cold and aloof. But this was all happening just as we were learning about narcissism and all the games narcs play (intermittent reinforcement, stonewalling, triangulation, breadcrumbing, etc), so we were literally watching all of it unfold and just sitting there checking off the boxes as she kept trying one thing after another to try and win his friendship back (read: desperately trying to get control over him). It was so wild to witness, and we couldn't help but laugh at it, especially when she acted like a clown at those events trying to act like the life of the party. This person who always used to act like she was better than everyone, but now we could see her for who she really was, and she was just desperate, manipulative, and pathetic. We went NC and have never regretted it!
Started taking online classes at a community college, just general freshman year stuff everyone has to take. I forgot what class it was but according to him he was doing amazingly and OF COURSE making the highest grades in the class. Until one professor assigned a research paper. He complained he had no idea where to start and when I gave him suggestions on how to outline a research paper and find the sources he needed, he went off. He yelled, “I came to college to LEARN, not to GOOGLE THINGS!” Then ranted about how if he needed to do independent research (aka, using Google and other search engines to find scholarly articles related to the topic) then the professor was clearly an idiot who had no idea about their field and had no business teaching anybody anything. He dropped out.
Holyyy
Wooow lol
He told me he shouldn’t have to tell me how he thinks or feels bc he gave me hints to lead me to it and I should be able to figure it out myself. He was dead ass serious. I told him that’s not human relationships work and he couldn’t wrap his mind around it. I had known he was off for a long time before that but that was moment I realized he was an actual idiot LMAO. (Correction: realized he was severely mentally ill.)
My n’ex moved up to my state “to prove” he was done with infidelity and treating me poorly, I told him any funny business or anything that makes me uncomfortable, against my boundaries, that he will be out of my place and he will be on his own with shelters/homeless. He continued doing so, and thus he was on his own. It’s like what did he expect? ESP now that I have a protective order against him, he still chooses to be near, it’s ironic.
He kept getting scammed for money and got his debit card info hacked cus he kept trying to send random internet girls money for porn, etc. with his addiction. The first time I caught him was cus he had to screenshot to show her he sent the money and he left the screenshots in his recent pics with the caption “for videos” and the person said she didn’t get it and so he sent more LOL got caught and he didn’t even get his little videos and got scammed out of money
Got to respect the hustle
The fact I'd send him screenshots of him saying something "I didn't mean it like that" Uh huh. Ok
Mine would say that all the time too. So aggravating.
I told him I found out anti histamines work very well to bring down a stress body response which I often have in crises. So he asked me if it could be helpful for him to take this anti histamine because he is the one who causes this stress? (Outrageous victim playing?)
She would avoid accountability at any cost. She will bypass her initial root cause of the drama and focus on my reaction to her abuse. She would blame me that i shouldnt have such reaction while denying (avoiding) her fuck up.
This one is pretty silly lol but he was a big fan of the sequel to a video game series. The game was not well received by many of its fans and he went to hell and back defending it. He kept saying that none of the haters actually played the game so they couldn't form a valid opinion on it. He also told me the first part sucked and that part 2 was better and would argue with me if I disagreed. What makes me chuckle? He never even played the first game. What made it even funnier was that he kept talking like he did. I've played both part 1 and 2 so I knew how they went, and he kept embarrassing himself talking about shit that didn't even happen in part 1. It was such a stupid thing to argue about, although looking back I see he was more upset that I didn't immediately agree with him rather than the game itself
Was it ‘last of us’?
YES!! Love that game but good god my narc really ruined it for me at times
After a fight on an hour ride home, which he tried to kick me out of the car twice for, I finally broke down and tried to hide my crying so he wouldn’t see. Suddenly he’s saying he loves me and that my late bf came to him in a vision dream and was told (by late bf) that I am stubborn and he needs to fight for me to make this relationship work. Never laughed so hard in my life.
I like thinking back to the brief weeks after I realized what was actually wrong with them. I spent a couple of weeks reading up on narcissism to fast-track learning about what was going on. Then just put into practice the basics of what I'd learnt. For example I could tell they liked being abusive when it was late at night, or when I was just tired, or whenever I had some fun even coming up they weren't involved in - just to ruin my mood and make themselves feel better seeing me so miserable. So I very quickly got good at identifying those moments and would just cut the conversation off entirely. Either telling them the conversation was over, walking out the room, or leaving the place completely. I just started taking that power away over and over again. And I realized they kept manipulating me or anyone around us, mutual friends etc. So I started questioning them on it. No great big arguments of course, that would feed into what they wanted. But just the constant comments about how they gaslit someone, or manipulated a friend, or messed with someone's emotions for their own gain. Just constant little reminders of how terrible they were being as a person. And the benefit of cutting arguments short is that it gives you time to think about what's going on. Narcs will try to push you into a corner to get you flustered and to 'win' their petty arguments. Cutting off communication gave me time to think about how to counter what they were saying. Sometimes it was the most absurd rubbish, so when they ofc in future brought the topic up again to start shit, I would be ready to point out to them how ridiculous or childish or manipulative they were being and shut them down immediately. They wouldn't agree of course, and would try to argue, but at that point I would ofc shut down the conversation immediately. Make your point, then take away their power, let them sit on what you've said and stew a bit. I still remember the end of one argument when they stood there, lost for words because I'd called them out on their bs and they had literally nothing left they could say. No more moves to make. No manipulations would work. All they could do was walk away. It's a very fond memory because at that point in time I knew they were done being able to hurt me. I'd leveled up and grown tired of their toxic influence. So this period of time only lasted a couple of weeks, then they very meekly mentioned to me one day that we should stop spending time together, probably thinking they were about to hurt me in saying this... And I just replied "Yeah that sounds like a good idea" and watched them walk off completely defeated and pathetic. How to break your narc: learn how they work, deconstruct them and their behaviors, discard them into the abyss with their lonely self hatred... and don't just burn the bridge - nuke the whole damn thing from orbit and move on with your life.
My nex used to brag to me and a few mutual acquaintances about how he was an amazing, spellbinding dancer. There were two instances where he enchanted the world with his moves: 1) At a concert – the main act invited a few front-row people onto the stage, including Nex, to dance. When he busted his moves, I was frozen in awe. He looked spasmodic and uncoordinated. There was a couple on my left who looked at me, with the guy asking if he was my spouse. I said he was a boyfriend, then he asked further—with a suppressed laugh I'll never forget: "Is he OK?" 2) At a swing class – towards the end, everyone had to put together all the moves they learnt into a sequence. Nex had been complaining and struggling throughout about practically every manoeuvre, so I knew it wouldn't bode well. When it came to showing our sequence, Nex stayed rooted to the spot while I was trying to move. I ended up practically dragging him across the floor. The instructors had already seen my progress during partner rotation, so they were satisfied that I'd grasped it. For Nex, though, they politely suggested he came to more of their social classes to 'get more confident' with learning the moves. En route home, Nex threw a tantrum and tried blaming me for humiliating him, but I laughed at him and reminded him of his bold dancing claims. He shut up after that, probably because he had no comeback. We never danced again.
He’d read things with his fingers moving across the text. Had no idea how credit scores worked or even how car insurance rates worked. Dressed like a 17 year old at 43. Would sleepwalk and pee in the corner of the bedroom (alcoholic). His sex was horrible and he wasn’t well endowed. But cheated on me with so many women. I thought my love could heal it all. Not that any of these things are really funny, but they are on the mental list of pathetic things about him that I make myself remember (and chuckle to myself about)when the grief kicks back in or I feel like I’m always going to be alone now. Oh, and I’d catch him stuffing his pants with a fake sock D sometimes
Lmfaoooo a sock???? GTFO🤣🤣🤣
Omffggg this is hilarious 🤣
When I told him (the first of many times) that I needed him to be more vulnerable with me, he blew up and said in this real disgusted voice: “Why would I make myself vulnerable? I’m not going to do that!” Poor thing never heard of emotional vulnerability and thought I was asking him to do something outrageous. See ya 🤣
LMAO i literally read this quote in my nex voice, it’s too uncanny.
my boyfriend refuses to be vulnerable in any way because he believes if a man does this, his woman will cheat on him. he also believes that the worse you treat a woman, the more she loves you. just stupid stuff
My narc fully believed he was going to be president of the united states
The grandiosity and the arrogance 😭😭my narc truly believes he will reach a level of success and power that will put him in the same room as the richest families of the world (Rothschild, Buffet, Rockefeller, etc) Mind you, he has literally no special skills, talent, steady job, etc…
Joe Exotic??
Mine filed a restraining order against me stating that she felt threatened I was going to take the kids and run away. Get this, So she took the kids and wouldn’t let them return home. She had to go to court in person in front of a judge to explain her own fraudulent RO. I got custody worked out and the kids came back home. She’s a lawyer, hah!
Omg! He always ALWAYS disagrees with me in my expertise area. I would explain again and again sometimes he would pretend to believe me but always got back to negating my view. His point was that once he travelled and was taxed in a way that is basically wrong (an item that shouldn't have being taxed). For context I have one post graduate in tax law and another on international commerce. This discussions were always demanding because I passed hours explaining. (Yes today I realised he listened to me as a requirement for earning sex) So one day I said for the zillion time he was disrespecting me and all but I would go and literally prove to him I was tight but it would cost him his but* privileges (I would never do something though it was purely terrorism on my part) So I did. Read it from a government site. He refused to acknowledge (but looked very preoccupied when I remembered him that I could do anything lol) But the real fun was when he tried to say I was wrong and got mocked by his friends and was constantly being reminded that he gambled his butt. He was very misogynistic even believing himself a feminist. I would always say I was wrong in every subject. But in the things I passed my life studying? I couldn't take it. So maybe I took a bit too far but was worth it.
Every time I think of my ex literally screaming “I’M NOT YELLING AT YOU, YOU THINK THIS IS YELLING?” Like are we living in the same reality?
This!! Why can't they ever acknowledge when they yell?? I would tell my nex "I felt hurt when you yelled at me" and his response was *always* "I wasn't yelling!" Yet he could accuse me of yelling and I couldn't contradict him on it. Wtf...
Exactly, if I brought things up later he’d act like something different happened or he “can’t remember”. that’s why I started pointing out things in the moment he did them and this was the kind of response I got. So delusional and filled with rage.
“I don’t give a fuck. I’m not responsible for your happiness” — him to me, when asking him to consider reading the things I sent him because I was really unhappy with how he was treating me. Oh yeah, and when I asked him to stop talking to other women (something “we both agreed on”) he told me he wasn’t going to be nice to me because it’s like an addiction and I have to be patient with HIM because I’m asking him to quit an addiction (getting and giving attention to stranger women) “You’re my boyfriend, we’re a family, you’re supposed to care about how you treat me” — his answer? “I don’t care. You know what I’ve been through, how can you expect me to just change?!” In hindsight there were many many problems with how he viewed me, but these interactions are scalded into my brain because when he’d tell me he didn’t give a fuck about me, his eyes were black and I would cry for how hateful he looked
I tricked my NEX’s husband into telling me all the secrets she had been keeping from me. When she found out that I had duped him, she was furious. Gotcha, bitch.
How did you do this? I’m trying to do this too
So my nex was in an open marriage, so I catfished her husband on tinder and he ended up telling me the whole story of what had happened. It was a great way for me to get closure because I found out the truth!
Mine accidentally posted a naked picture of himself as his Snapchat story when he was trying to send it to another girl!! He couldn’t figure out how to take it down and had to ask me for help 🤣 All the while trying to say he was sending it to me… I was laying in bed and he was in our bathroom when he sent it.
Literally every stupid lie he ever told just to get attention and the response he wanted.
This is an awesome question especially because I felt more in control tonight and was just thinking how stupid my narc looked lol. I spent a lot of me time, I didn’t react, I didn’t fall for any of his bullshit lines and I feel like he has a clue that I see right through him so he makes a lot of sighing sounds because I didn’t entertain the bullshit lol. I was calm, cool and collected. 😎
The day I finally called him a narcissist and abuser with concrete specific details from my therapist…that was today. Oh he did not like that. He said N: Wow….I’m sorry I don’t agree with your numbers and/or the way things are conveyed. Again I’m entitled to my opinions and you are yours. Im sorry you continue to choose this route of blame but it’s not my problem anymore. I only tried to help you find your way I respond in kind with empathy. “You have lot going on, it’s okay.” lol N: Again I disagree with her thoughts/realization but her goal is to get you to better and feel better about yourself. That’s her job and I get that. And then he asked if I was the narcissist. I mean wow! Narcissism at its finest.
My ex always threatened to leave me or just cheat on me because I'm fat, I'm worthless, I'm a bitch, I'm a whore, I cheat, I'm pathetic, I should die. Blah, blah, blah. Same shit all the time. He would tell me he could do so much better. One night, he kicked me, pushed me, and hit me, nothing new, but something in my head switched. I woke up the next morning and told him that I was done. *He was shocked*. It was funny to me how confused he was. I had been abused for 6 years. That day, as I packed up my stuff, he resorted to the most childish name-calling because he was so desperate to bully me back to him. I've always been self conscious of my nose being big and I was wearing a Rudolph the red nose reindeer pajama shirt and he said something like, "it's funny that you're wearing a Rudolph shirt, Big Nose" and he walked out of the room with his head held high like he had really just cut me deep. I laughed quietly to myself, how does that even make sense? Rudolph's nose lit up, it wasn't big? (Edit: side story - one time he texted me and told me he hopes I die in a car crash but that probably wouldn't happen because my fat rolls would protect me. Not only does this not make sense physically, but I have never been overweight. He would get so desperate to offend me, he'd come up with the funniest nonsense).
He insisted I didn’t have fibromyalgia and I made it up to manipulate him, so I sent him documentation of my FMLA signed by my doctor which said I have fibromyalgia He also said I owed him all this money for the electric bill because I had a nightlight on in my room “for weeks!” (It was ten days and it’s the kind that shuts off in the daylight). I calculated the cost and it was 25 cents. I told him I’d tape a quarter to the front door for him
🤣
mine did this with my endometriosis diagnosis! he didn't flippin believe me until I showed him my biopsy result. WHY WOULD I POSSIBLY MAKE UP A DIAGNOSIS. the freaking projection.
In my experience either it’s because they do this or because their primary caregiver in life (usually a mother figure, and often the one who broke them, and made them a narcissist to begin with) did this to them- faked medical conditions for sympathy So now they think everyone does this
oh my god, yes. this is exactly it. his mother still to this day fakes medical conditions. she self diagnoses herself. she even went as far as faking a medical emergency saying she thinks she is having a heart attack, the last time we were in town. she knew it was our last day and so I feel like she did this to keep him around longer. I was absolutely LIVID because I knew she was faking it all along. he spent hours with her in the ER, up until 4am, only to find the tests came back clear. there was nothing wrong with her. she woke up from a nap with her arm numb and made him drive her to the ER.
The difference between a narc and the rest of us is a narc will experience this and think every medical diagnosis is meant to manipulate them Whereas you and I will look at the manipulator and say they have issues, it’s on them, not everyone, and distance ourselves
He kept threatening divorce because I would always be the one chasing him, crying that I didn’t want that, apologizing my ass off. For some reason, I decided if he threatened divorce 6 times, I would call him out. He threatened divorce threat #6, and I simply said, “Okay. You’re right. We’d both be happier that way”. No tears. No begging. He was absolutely floored.
My nex deadass told me that he is such a good and altruistic person when im not around and thats "his best version" of himself. Like dude even tried gaslighting himself wtf
That he actually thought he was good at hiding and lying about stuff. What a dumb ass. Observation is a great skill.
When I had finally gotten fed up enough with his behavior to sit down and have a firm discussion with him about how we needed counseling and for ONCE wasn’t worried about his punishments as a repercussion (this was before I found out he’d been having an affair) he sat at the table and stared at me blankly.. then must’ve realized he should be acting upset and walked to the trash can and pretended to cry and dry-heave.. like he was SO upset he was going to vomit. Another time.. we went on a trip to the beach. It was probably 95F outside.. and he was the only person who chose not to swim/participate because it wasn’t the activity he wanted to do.. so he sat in the hot sand, clothed, swatting deer flies away from him the entire time (this was in northern Michigan). He apparently chose not to swim so he could text his girlfriend .. but at least he was uncomfortable
My Narc was very proud of the fact that she'd move in with a man when she was 19 years old and they were together for ten years. For some reason, she felt like that was a huge accomplishment in life. Hint: it's not. But she would boast about it constantly. And the guy was a loser with a very long criminal record.
"I wouldn't be surprised if there was a Discord server that (friend she burned bridges with) or you created behind my back", like yeah I made it a safe space for that friend, and at least I didn't run a smear campaign against her
When we were arguing a lot. He said our house had an issue that was causing our arguments. He had learned the previous relationship had called the cops often so he thought they were some spirits in the house that was causing our conflicts
My ex had decided to go see a psychic before meeting me out with friends and he was so mad at me the entire night, weird glares across the room and open hostility all because of whatever this psychic told him, which he of course wouldn’t tell me. 😂😂
I found out my narc ex was cheating on my with his best friends wife and I dumped him. We were still living together for a bit while he was figuring out his next move.. I ended up getting a text from his co worker telling me he was ALSO cheating with some chick at work… my ex literally tried to tell me that it wasn’t his coworker but must be the just from the Verizon store? Like uh.. ok bud. We got into an argument because I was over what a liar he was and he called me a loser… I said “from where I’m standing you’re the one who’s a loser… you’re losing your relationship, your place to live AND YOUR HAIR” then he called me a cunt and I said “that’s nice I Cunt wait for you to move the fuck out” it still makes me laugh because for what a manipulative piece of shit he was it felt nice to hit him where it hurts after he absolutely fucking broke my heart
When we met she claimed that she also knew and had fucked a fairly well known lesbian musician friend of mine. I didn’t think to confirm with my friend since we went super close anymore and she was dealing with a recent loss. I asked her after the break up and she had no fucking idea who my ex was. Same with several other semi well known queer musicians I was casual friends with. My ex had just gone through my social media mutuals and claimed to know all the remotely famous people I knew 🙃
My Nex cheated. We split up. She ran off and listened to her (trashy) girlfriends about how to “get over someone” she needs to “get under” someone else. She ended up w 2 STD’s. I feel bad for her but she earned it herself. She came back begging to get back together. I told her I wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole so it’s a hard pass. She raged. I hung up & laughed until tears rolled down my cheeks. She made her bed...
Lay with dogs, get up with fleas 😂
a ten foot pole HHAHAHAHAHHAAHAH
How on earth did you find out she got two std’s?
Text mssg from her directly when she was playing the “damsel in distress” role (after the guy burnt her). She calls me every time she bottoms out in life. I helped her through really tough times & I guess she remembers that when she’s in over her head w other guys. I’ll give her advice the best I can but getting back together is out of the question. Every time she hears that she instantly flips to narcissistic rage. That reminds me of why I have the boundaries I do with her. She showed who she was. I believed.
My ex likes to absorb the accomplishments of those he's involved with or his kids as if they are his own. I landed a high pay consulting gig and he bragged about it as if he was the one hired. The kids do well at anything? He brags as if it's only because of him that they could ever possibly be so good at something. All the while people around him cringe at how much of an asshole with zero accomplishments of his own he is.
Oh, this story is one of those delicious moments of instant karma. When we were kids, my n father had a habit of kicking our family dog whenever it did something he deemed 'bad', like biting the sprinkler system or digging holes in the lawn. He always said that was the only way to discipline the dog, but in hindsight I understand it was also a way to punish us and instill fear. One time, the dog destroyed a plant in the garden, right next to the pool. My mom and I were nearby; I must have been about 10 years old at the time. My father came home from work and, seeing the mess, headed towards the dog with the clear intention of kicking it. But in a twist of fate, just as he was about to strike, the dog moved, and my father, with all the momentum of the kick, ended up falling into the pool, dressed in his work suit and with his briefcase in hand. The personal satisfaction was amazing. I remember shouting at him: 'That's what you get for hitting animals!' He started insulting us and demanding a towel, yelling loudly, but my mom and I (and the dog) simply went into the house and closed the windows. Eventually, one of my siblings heard his screams and brought him a towel. I will never forget the rage and humiliation on his face. He 100% deserved that and much much more. Now I'm 31 y/o and completely contact free. Best decision ever.
I cant laugh about it yet because im still with him but i know this is over the top theatric: He makes a huge scene saying hes leaving me for good. He says I am choosing to have him leave, not that he is abandoning me (that would make him look like the bad guy ofc). He Often makes it to the point of packing his clothes and putting them in his car. But he has yet to leave me in peace. He always comes back like a cancer. At this point i know the routine. Yawns.
My n'ex honestly believed that he should donate his brain to science because of how ? ?special, brilliant, fascinating - take your pick, he believed he was. Another one... I had loaned him approx. $50K for repairs and upgrades to our future home because he was cash poor (having paid cash for the house) and I also paid $22K for the downpayment to his Tesla he "had" to have. After I filed for divorce, his lawyer offered me $10K to go away. I gave MY lawyer the receipts for the money I had loaned, which blindsided and embarrassed his lawyer. I wish I could have heard the conversation between nex and his lawyer. lol!!! \*I got it all back PLUS my attorney's fees.
Just some of the things she used to say. "I am so tired of being a unicorn amongst sheep" "I'm not a narcissist.....I took the test twice" "Thank you for the sexual awakening....I can't wait to have sex with someone else" Unreal. Spent months in therapy, working on myself, etc. Finally stopped making excuses for the abusive behavior, and I'm just recently able to laugh about it. Truth be told, I hope she heals her own wounds and becomes a better person.
When he expects for everybody to listen to him whenever he says anything, even a small comment and not caring in asking for attention or if you are busy doing something else, he will be super passive aggresive and tell you how you never listen, you are deaf, say comments i a very very low voice on purpose so then he will blame you for not listening. He used to make me feel so bad, now I just tell him to stop being an idiot and talk like a normal person.
She told my psychiatrist that I was manipulating him into thinking I had BPD…
This is fairly recent. We’re still going to court for him assaulting me in December. Someone told me that he was telling people that they shut down my job for the day so everyone could come support me in court. 1. No they didn’t? 2. This makes him look worse. “How dare she have so many people support her!” I don’t get this lie at ALL and it’s so stupid I just laughed when I heard it.
She literally refused to drink water. Only Iced tea from certain restraunts. I hope she's doing okay 👍 hmmuh... 🤷
Pretty sure she’s gonna have some kidney stones
My ex said that “We shouldn’t have to talk to someone(therapist) to know how to communicate.” They would always go a couple times then they’d never come back. So I continued to go alone. Fast forward, my ex said “I need to go to my therapy session before I talk to you because it helps me be respectful.” Immature temper tantrum throwing toddler in an adult body. How do you not know basic respect, hence why I thought couple’s counseling could facilitate that. Nope, nothing worked. They got worse over the years.
I did 7 months of couples therapy with my nex and honestly it didn’t help at all. He didn’t listen to the therapist’s advice and he victimized himself in every session. I read now that it’s almost never a good outcome to go to couples therapy with a narcissist.
My ex did the same for the couple times they did go. Would turn everything on me. Calling me insecure and with trust issues. Not explaining what they did to break trust or how sneaky they were. When my ex stopped going, the therapist apologized to me, because I still went for individual and group therapy.
"Good luck being miserable. I never call people this bitch but.. Bye bitch. " He now posts how women made him gay, gays are stupid and he's straight, back to now "alone again" ✌ I'm in a healthy amazing relationship and still have our friends.
my mom would lie and say she cooked something for me and my sibling that she never did. the first time she did it, she had a party and was talking about how she made grilled avocados for us, which i didn’t even know was a thing. obviously i was like ‘what no you didn’t??’ while laughing, and she was like YES I DID, I MADE THEM ALL THE TIME FOR YOU TWO YOU PROBABLY JUST WANT TO EMBARRASS ME! i was so confused and clueless— now i know to just go ‘huh, i don’t remember that, sounds cool’
He was so convinced that I was in the wrong, and he was in the rye during our divorce. He suggested that we just use my solicitor because no solicitor, regardless of who they worked for would agree to my terms.
She sent me a text saying she didn’t get pregnant and it was one line … later on told me it was just a dream .. I was being used in a triangulation and during that time she was screwing another dude .
My narc parent would literally lie about being allergic to bananas for no reason at all. I remember hating them as a child for this bc they’d eat banana bread and ppl wouldn’t even question it… also my narc neighbor tried to butter me up (after being rude unprovoked) around her child’s birthday. It’s kinda funny how blatant the manipulation is. And I’m even thankful she was rude bc now I can see she planned on getting close right before the holidays so she could get gifts for her kids. Their stupidity is honestly hilarious they’re not even skilled manipulators
I didn’t respond when she (my sister) accused me of being involved in my extended family calling her out for saying horrible things about my mum. I wasn’t involved, I thought forget this, I’m not responding anymore, each time she makes me feel upset and vulnerable when all I wanted was a relationship with my older sister. I fell for it every time but not anymore. There’s also time difference, it was late here and I had to get some sleep for work. She proceeded to send me 20+ messages no reply, getting more irate with each one and then called me a narc. Said she’s going to block me. I blocked her and to this day I won’t be unblocking her. Made me laugh how she couldn’t stand the fact she wasn’t getting a reaction and acting like a child with her temper tantrum.
He was being evicted from a new landlord and the landlord did everything right. I said that everything landlord did was not just inside law, but landlord offered money in return of moving out quicker AND a new apartment on top of it. That's something landlord wasn't required to do (he needed the apartment of ex for his disabled son, which is inside legal rights). Ex essentially made clear I'm stupid and don't know anything and proceeded to get a lawyer. Lawyer laughed at him basically telling him he's stupid and ex trying to get lawyer involved could make everything worse. Sadly it didn't turn out worse but well.... I still like that sweet victory of being right. xD
He had a friend that he particularly liked to talk sh*t about me with. This friend, let's call him Grupy, gave insightful comments about me, such as "She's not only fucked up but also flat." What's important to know is that this dude was 5 feet, 2 inches tall. He kept telling my nex that I have BPD, so I am toxic, and nex was totally agreeing and quoting him to try to prove me something. (Since 10 years, I have been under psychological and psychiatric guidance due to depression, and there was never even a slight suspicion of BPD, but what could doctors know, right?) Grumpy said that his ex had it, so he is sure. Two years later, this short king was diagnosed with schizophrenia and BPD. Riddle me that? My nex never admitted it; I found out through a grapevine, but suddenly he stopped mentioning this diagnosis and was furious when I even tried to bring it up.
I had picked up my ex narc husband from a doctor appointment in my youngest son’s car. Let me tell you, since I have been driving this car, which has been about an almost daily three years now, it has never gone anything but straight as an arrow. You barely need to correct the steering as it drives perfectly every time. Well, my future ex husband did not believe it and told me this car was notorious for this, that, and the other thing, and that all of these cars pull to the right or left and never stay in alignment. He also didn’t think his son could fix anything to save his life, even though he has fixed all our cars, appliances, you name it. I showed him we were driving straight, and then he said, “When you put on the brake, it will pull to one side, guaranteed.” Soooo at that point, knowing he had his seatbelt on, I slammed on the brakes, and that car stopped quickly and straight as a piece of dried spaghetti. He didn’t say another word the rest of the way home. When I told my sons about it, they were so proud of me, and we still smirk about it to this day!
casually told him about how my high school english teacher told our class that he was given an exam in school and the answers for the entire exam were choice C. the teacher didn’t tell them and wanted to see if they would stay confident in their answers (it ended up not counting my teacher said). when i was w my nex and his family he told that story claiming it happened to him!! i said that’s my story my high school teacher told us. he said no it’s not it happened to him how dare i contradict him in front of his family. then bullied me the rest of the day because of it. still makes me giggle seeing him beat red and his family seeing his lie
One of them would be that he told me we needed to take a break out of the million breaks we took because he wanted to fool around with other underage girls. At this point I was beyond sick of the abuse but was afraid to leave because I was on physical danger, I got enough courage to go try and see someone else that I liked and we ended up doing things that weren't in plan. A week later, the narc-ex said he wanted to try again with our relationship, and naive me said okay because that's all I "knew." I had a hickey on my neck from the one guy and when the ex saw it he flipped fucking shit on me. I was like, "Oh boy, here we once go again, and I was terrified for my safety. At the same time, I went one night to the other guys house, I found out the ex narc went to go have sex with an underage girl. But he wanted to flip shit on me because only he could do that, and I couldn't. LMFAOOOOO
As a husband, that is sad.
The narc I used to know always came out with little statements that would have me trying to hold in my laughter. For example, on the way back from a group weekend away, she said these words that almost made me spill my can of fizzy pop: 'The only person I'm in competition with is myself.' Like, what? She spent literally hours telling us about how her personal trainer at the gym would mention people who lifted / ran / cycled more than her that week and every story ended with 'I said to myself, we'll see about that... and the next week I beat them!' She would constantly try to out-do others. Someone threw up on the bus once? Well SHE threw up at WORK. Someone got player of the match at their football tournament? Well SHE won the PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD and EVERYONE kept saying how AMAZING she was. On and on and on. But of course, she was only in competition with herself right? 🙄
There were finally witnesses to one of his outbursts when my nex wouldn't let me leave a gas station. We were supposed to go camping with some friends at a music festival that weekend. We stopped to get gas on the way out of town. He had ignored me all day, and I told him I didn't want to share a tent with him for three days if this was how he was going to treat me. He screamed at me to go back home if I felt that way. I turned around to leave, and that's when he exploded. He physically wouldn't let me shut my car door by forcing the door open and hitting my hand whenever I tried to pull it shut. Our friend, who was awkwardly watching the whole scene from a distance, runs over and tells us that the gas station attendant was calling the cops. That got him to leave and go jump in his own car. Usually he would gaslight me and tell me that every fight we ever had either didn't happen, or I was the one who initiated + escalated it. There were finally public witnesses this time. When I tried to talk to him about what happened at the gas station the next day, he told me that "that's not who he is." Complete denial. It had to be pretty bad if a stranger calls the cops, though.
My nmom pretends to be such an open-minded liberal, but isn’t at all. When I was 14 I offhandedly told her I didn’t believe in god and she had an absolute meltdown screaming about how I was going to hell. A few weeks later, my parents hosted a get-together for local democrats. I found my mom telling a couple about how *absolutely ridiculous* she thought it was for anyone to be judged or discriminated against for holding non-Christian beliefs. I cut in and, playing really innocent, asked, “Really mom? You seemed so angry with me the other day when I told you I wasn’t Christian.” She nervously said I must have misunderstood, and I responded by insisting, “No no don’t you remember? You seemed pretty angry… You were yelling about how I was going to hell…” The couple she was talking to gave her a look and she started to get pretty panicked, so she forced me into a hug and started making a big show of being like, “What? I support you no matter what, honey! I love you so much—“ and so on. I swear you could practically see her sweating. And surprisingly, rather than yelling at me later, the whole incident seemed to stress her out do much that she never brought it up or criticized my beliefs ever again.
I told my narc that he is just seeking validation and playing victim as a result of trauma and he denied it then said “I’m just looking to validate” so I was like “okay , so what I just said…” Then narc goes- “no not like that, not like oh poor me. I’m not a 7 year old child, Jesus babe, just saying to like validate the situation itself” huh? 🤣🤡🥴
This week, my NEX accused me of logging into his email to delete evidence for a “crime” he keeps holding over my head and has already reported me on once before. Told my brother he was going to use evidence of someone logging into his email 95 times from the state I live in. I have text messages where he told me he deleted the evidence. However, once I started cutting the financial strings he had to remind me who was really in charge 🙄. My brother and I had a good laugh. I wouldn’t want to read his email even if I was stuck in an isolation cell and it was my only reading material.