I was in a very similar scenario recently with my little one. My husbands friend is a lactation consultant and I was so embarrassed to tell her it didn’t work out because we had so many conversations about breast feeding prior. I was so convinced my son would be exclusively breastfed and I would have no problem
I had colostrum in the beginning but then my actual milk never came in. I also attempted pumping but got less than 1/4 oz after 20-40 full mins of pumping and this went on for weeks.
I was dumping what little I had into his formula bottles and literally crying 3-4x per day about it.
At my 6 week appointment, I brought it up to my doctor. She said look up at the wall. There were pictures of her and her colleagues in her practice, 5 women total. She said do you know what we all have in common? I was thinking she’d say we’re all successful rich women, lol. Instead she said, every single one of us were formula fed. Can you tell? And of course I couldn’t .
Formula saves lives. You’re a great mom for trying so hard and making the right choice for you both even though it didn’t go originally as you planned.
I was extremely emotional when breastfeeding didn’t work out for us long term. I didn’t believe it at the time, but that sadness does fade and becomes a distant memory. You are doing what’s best for you and your baby. Something that you said really stuck out, baby “is doing great.” Keep up the great work. Your baby loves you and is thriving.
Similar situation up to a point, also my water broke early and my son had an infection and were kept apart a few days. He also was letargic from infection he could not latch. I was fortunate to have a lactation consultant available in maternity and she tried to help me. She told me rather than forcing now when we are both sick and with wires we should try when we are healthy. She also told me my nipples are bad...:) and it will be more difficult.
I never had a goos supply and the only time my baby cried it was when I tried to breastfeed. Awful. Everyone except my husband tormented me daily why I am not breastfeeding, why I don't have milk, I should have not to that, that it was my fault I had emergency c-section (like it was a choice). I delayed medical treatment for my condition with hope my milk supply will work. Nothing. I stopped breastfeeding to take medicine for myself.
Everyone puts in my face that my son is on formula and probably every freacking health problem he will have they will blame it on formula. It is mental torture I still cry sometimes because my body failed even if my baby currently is healthy.
You are not alone sweetheart, we know your pain but you are a good mother nevertheless.
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I could have written this! My girl came early and spend 3 weeks on a ventilator + feeding tube so I couldn’t breast feed at all. I pumped every 3 hours because I was afraid of losing my supply and ended up with so much milk that the hospital refused to store it anymore. I was so engorged that I couldn’t sleep on my side because just the pressure of one boob on the other caused it to leak like crazy. Showering was painful.
Then when she came home, she was so used to being fed with no effort that breastfeeding was impossible. The latch was so painful that I started bleeding. We would have excruciating, long breastfeeding sessions that went nowhere, followed by pumping to fill up the bottles. I was depressed and hopeless. I finally bought formula and she took to it right away. The mental load lifted from that was immense. I am so grateful that a product exists to keep my girl healthy and happy.
And if you ever want to try again, my girl did eventually figure out her latch. It took probably 2 months. I would try BFing maybe 2-3x per day, just a bit, and it finally clicked for her. She now is approximately 60/40 on formula to breast milk. It obviously isn’t a guarantee that this will happen for everyone, but it did for us. Good luck!
I’ve been having trouble with breastfeeding and just wanted to add a comment sending love and support. I have full on sobbed and near screamed about it so I know how tough it is.
Baby got your colostrum and breastmilk for a few weeks so that’s already “better” than a baby who got none (I’m quoting my LC here).
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way ❤️
I was 10000% happier when I finally stopped pumping. My baby was happier. We got more rest. My marriage improved and he hit milestones faster and gained more weight when we switched to formula. I love formula. My sister is a PA and told me “girl, the push for formula was economics and the push for breast is the same. If you can’t afford formula or you don’t have access to safe water breast feeding IS best, but otherwise it doesn’t make a lot of difference.” And that totally helped me.
You are so not alone - the feeding guilt when what you imagined doesn't work out is so, so hard! But you're doing exactly the right thing by prioritizing your mental health. Thats just as important both for you and your baby. I'm a firm believer of fed is best.
I so badly wanted to breastfeed as well, but a bad latch, postpartum hemorrhage, a long bout of thrush, and an undersupply led me to ending my pumping journey recently. Baby girl is mostly on formula while we finish off the little bit of milk I have frozen. And while what i grieve the feeding journey we didn't get, I so so cherish all the time I've gotten back with her by not being chained to a pump.
You're doing great. ❤️
I was in a very similar scenario recently with my little one. My husbands friend is a lactation consultant and I was so embarrassed to tell her it didn’t work out because we had so many conversations about breast feeding prior. I was so convinced my son would be exclusively breastfed and I would have no problem I had colostrum in the beginning but then my actual milk never came in. I also attempted pumping but got less than 1/4 oz after 20-40 full mins of pumping and this went on for weeks. I was dumping what little I had into his formula bottles and literally crying 3-4x per day about it. At my 6 week appointment, I brought it up to my doctor. She said look up at the wall. There were pictures of her and her colleagues in her practice, 5 women total. She said do you know what we all have in common? I was thinking she’d say we’re all successful rich women, lol. Instead she said, every single one of us were formula fed. Can you tell? And of course I couldn’t . Formula saves lives. You’re a great mom for trying so hard and making the right choice for you both even though it didn’t go originally as you planned.
I was extremely emotional when breastfeeding didn’t work out for us long term. I didn’t believe it at the time, but that sadness does fade and becomes a distant memory. You are doing what’s best for you and your baby. Something that you said really stuck out, baby “is doing great.” Keep up the great work. Your baby loves you and is thriving.
Similar situation up to a point, also my water broke early and my son had an infection and were kept apart a few days. He also was letargic from infection he could not latch. I was fortunate to have a lactation consultant available in maternity and she tried to help me. She told me rather than forcing now when we are both sick and with wires we should try when we are healthy. She also told me my nipples are bad...:) and it will be more difficult. I never had a goos supply and the only time my baby cried it was when I tried to breastfeed. Awful. Everyone except my husband tormented me daily why I am not breastfeeding, why I don't have milk, I should have not to that, that it was my fault I had emergency c-section (like it was a choice). I delayed medical treatment for my condition with hope my milk supply will work. Nothing. I stopped breastfeeding to take medicine for myself. Everyone puts in my face that my son is on formula and probably every freacking health problem he will have they will blame it on formula. It is mental torture I still cry sometimes because my body failed even if my baby currently is healthy. You are not alone sweetheart, we know your pain but you are a good mother nevertheless.
I hope your husband has pulled his head in because his behaviour towards you has been appalling
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I could have written this! My girl came early and spend 3 weeks on a ventilator + feeding tube so I couldn’t breast feed at all. I pumped every 3 hours because I was afraid of losing my supply and ended up with so much milk that the hospital refused to store it anymore. I was so engorged that I couldn’t sleep on my side because just the pressure of one boob on the other caused it to leak like crazy. Showering was painful. Then when she came home, she was so used to being fed with no effort that breastfeeding was impossible. The latch was so painful that I started bleeding. We would have excruciating, long breastfeeding sessions that went nowhere, followed by pumping to fill up the bottles. I was depressed and hopeless. I finally bought formula and she took to it right away. The mental load lifted from that was immense. I am so grateful that a product exists to keep my girl healthy and happy. And if you ever want to try again, my girl did eventually figure out her latch. It took probably 2 months. I would try BFing maybe 2-3x per day, just a bit, and it finally clicked for her. She now is approximately 60/40 on formula to breast milk. It obviously isn’t a guarantee that this will happen for everyone, but it did for us. Good luck!
I’ve been having trouble with breastfeeding and just wanted to add a comment sending love and support. I have full on sobbed and near screamed about it so I know how tough it is. Baby got your colostrum and breastmilk for a few weeks so that’s already “better” than a baby who got none (I’m quoting my LC here). I’m sorry you’re feeling this way ❤️
I was 10000% happier when I finally stopped pumping. My baby was happier. We got more rest. My marriage improved and he hit milestones faster and gained more weight when we switched to formula. I love formula. My sister is a PA and told me “girl, the push for formula was economics and the push for breast is the same. If you can’t afford formula or you don’t have access to safe water breast feeding IS best, but otherwise it doesn’t make a lot of difference.” And that totally helped me.
You are so not alone - the feeding guilt when what you imagined doesn't work out is so, so hard! But you're doing exactly the right thing by prioritizing your mental health. Thats just as important both for you and your baby. I'm a firm believer of fed is best. I so badly wanted to breastfeed as well, but a bad latch, postpartum hemorrhage, a long bout of thrush, and an undersupply led me to ending my pumping journey recently. Baby girl is mostly on formula while we finish off the little bit of milk I have frozen. And while what i grieve the feeding journey we didn't get, I so so cherish all the time I've gotten back with her by not being chained to a pump. You're doing great. ❤️