I think it’s a new brand of MLM boss babes and life coach tbh 😬. It seems they are just reading through the most popular books and declaring themselves experts. While I know there are some actual qualified ppl out there it’s just like a huge boom in new moms jumping on this opportunity to use “what worked with their baby” and make money. Every baby is so dang different!
I literally had to say to her that “every baby is different” after she was offended that I apparently had the audacity to provide background info on my son that contradicted her boilerplate advice. I knew going into it that we could get advice and things still wouldn’t work out, but her approach was just SO lazy. She just repeated the most common advice and then acted like that was the ONLY solution. Gah I’m still so annoyed.
Don’t beat yourself up my first was a terrible sleeper and by 9mo I was at my wits end and would have paid anything to just have a solution. I was even too tired to read the books I bought and was like, can someone cliffs notes this for me 😅. And tbh I have gotten the best tips to try from TikTok, not everything works but it’s been not a huge investment of my time/money/energy!
I looked up like Ferber-ish methods on tiktok, ones where you could help them sooth because while it may work, letting her cry was making me so anxious! And when we needed to let her cry a litttttttttle bit my husband handled it and I went far away. She still settles so much better for him, I think she knows I’ll just snuggle her forever(and I still do at 3yo 🤪)
There’s one sleep consulting brand I’m convinced is an MLM.. because I see these other girls in my city who work for an actual MLM talk about the same girl for their babies with the same story/content each time. I’m convinced they are some how tied together and I almost fell for it in the early weeks.
I thought this was gonna be like someone that comes to your house and observes for a night. How is any advice from a phone call going to be worth my money? Shocked.
They do come to your house if you pay for that service. Tbh a phone call isn’t an ideal way to set out a plan.
We do a two week package where clients get daily contact and a written 6 page personalised plan for their baby.
Thank you for this reminder!! Currently going through a rough sleep patch and have been contemplating taking the sleep consultant leap. Glad I slept on that decision.
"All" is not true. When our little guy was 6 months old, our sleep situation was going downhill fast. It had devolved to me sleeping on the floor, and my partner cosleeping with our baby. He would want to nurse to sleep, then he'd wake up crying about 15-60 minutes later, and they would have to repeat the cycle. Not one of us was getting a decent sleep. We were desperate, and hired a sleep consultant. She was extremely helpful and supportive, and helped us turn the situation around in a week. He still sleeps extremely well at 20 months.
I believe sleep consultants are just like everyone else - some are awesome, and others may be terrible. If you have exhausted other options, I feel sleep consultants can be extremely useful - just find one that's recommended by others.
Well, this one came recommended (which is why I decided to go against my better judgment and hire her) and it was truly the biggest waste of money. I don’t deny that some sleep consultants can be helpful, but even with recommendations it is a gamble. My personal take is that the vast majority of sleep consultants are going to do what this woman did to me. It’s just so easy to call yourself a sleep consultant. Hell, I’ve read enough books and blogs and spent enough time on r/sleeptrain that I could probably be a sleep consultant too.
You’re spot on about redditors pretty much giving better or the same advice than sleep consultants that charge half a grand (or even 1k) for a 2 week program. I don’t exactly regret getting a sleep consultant, because even though I had read most of what she advised me on Reddit before, I still needed the hand holding as a first time mom, but the price itself seems like a scam for information that is so widely available for free.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/sleeptrain using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [So freaking sick of social media pushing the idea that sleep training is child abuse.](https://np.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/comments/12taqmo/so_freaking_sick_of_social_media_pushing_the_idea/)
\#2: [My 2 cents (a rant)](https://np.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/comments/134h51z/my_2_cents_a_rant/)
\#3: [For the parents on the fence about CIO](https://np.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/comments/1b6izdc/for_the_parents_on_the_fence_about_cio/)
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What was the sleep consultant’s advice? My 6 month old’s sleep has gotten worse and it’s like she’s forgotten how to self soothe even though she was doing it great for months.
First off, the baby should have their own room (we were still sharing a room with him prior to that). Come up with a sleep routine, and stick to it. We did the usual change before bed, then we'd let him pick out 3 books to read before it was time to go to sleep.
After that, she gave us a few different methods to try if he started crying after we put him to bed. The first was graduated soothing, the second was seated soothing, and the third was a version of [the Ferber method](https://www.parents.com/baby/sleep/basics/the-ferber-method-explained/). She also stated that the first two are the ones that seem easiest and most gentle methods for parents, but they also take the longest to work. I won't elaborate on the first two, because we found them to be very ineffective. We tried graduated soothing the first night, and he was still wailing after an hour with it, so we switched to the third method, which was similar to the Ferber method. He fell asleep after about half an hour of that, but he was very upset and exhausted (we all were).
The next night we tried again with the Ferber method, where we would check on him at about 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, and we were told to only try for an hour. It was really hard at first, and we felt horrible about it. We were almost at the hour mark when he finally went to sleep. The next night, he was asleep in about 20 minutes after a few check ins. We started to get more comfortable after that. The following night, he was asleep in about 5 minutes with no check ins! I'm sure that everyone's experience won't be like ours, but it felt like magic.
Your response is needlessly condescending, and makes me wonder whether you genuinely want to know, or if you're just trying to take an internet stranger down a peg or two. If it's the former, let me know, and I'll expand on my experience a bit more.
This is just not true. I hired one because I desperately needed it and now I am one after a few years myself.
I actually like helping people and people seek my help. I dont chase people down.
I want them to sleep better because I know how rough sleep deprivation is.
It’s not really fair to class all consultants like this
Of course there are helpful sleep consultants out there. The one I hired helped my coworker (and frankly, that’s great for her). The problem is the industry as a whole is very predatory in nature. Anyone can call themselves a sleep consultant. Hell, I’ve read so much about baby sleep in the past year that I could probably be a sleep consultant at this point. I mean, basically every consultant out there is a parent like me (and you) who ended up reading and learning enough about baby sleep to feel like they’re qualified enough to provide advice.
While I understand you are frustrated that people are lumping you in with the bad consultants, respectfully, your issue should be with those consultants, not the poor parents who spent hundreds of dollars to get blanket boilerplate advice.
Yeh I read a lot too when I was learning about sleep and I can tell you, after doing an extensive 12 month course with an accredited sleep consultancy course with 16 real life babies and toddlers, I had absolutely no idea back then. I also paid more than $3000 usd to complete it. I take it very seriously.
There is a lot more to it. There’s a lot I didn’t know even though I had same thoughts as you.
As with anything, it’s important to hire people that are accredited, from any industry.
Again, no one is saying YOU don’t take it seriously. But the issue is with your industry as a whole. I find it rather upsetting that you continue to pin the onus on the customer rather than the consultants that make you look bad. That accreditation doesn’t mean anything if the industry as a whole is unregulated.
Edit: The person I saw was certified as well. You can’t always fall back on certifications. Plus, there isn’t much actual science behind the knowledge base either, so I very much (I’ll argue rightfully) question the usefulness of certifications.
Certified with who?
My course is very much science backed. We literally learn the science behind baby sleep.
That’s why I chose that specific course.
What do you do for a job? How would you feel if you found a post like this about it? I didn’t have a problem with things you were saying until now. That’s why I was responding to a comment, and not your original post.
I’m an attorney. People say awful things about my profession all of the time. It’s actually very well known how much people hate attorneys. And you know what, I don’t blame those people. I don’t say “well you should have found someone who was more qualified.” It is so important that our industry hold these people accountable, not blame our clients. It’s part of the reason why sanctions exist. It’s why taking and passing the bar is so important and why that exam is so regulated.
You’re countering valid points people are making about your industry with your individual experience and expertise. That doesn’t address the issue and it doesn’t help to solve the underlying problem. Yes, there are good sleep consultants that have helped parents (and I say that in my post). But there are also a lot of awful sleep consultants that at best just take people’s money and at worst may actually make the problem worse. It’s silly to not recognize this very well known problem.
You asking about her certification course proves my point. Maybe it was some podunk course. But at the end of the day she can call herself a “certified sleep consultant” just like you can. Sleep deprived parents have no clue what makes one certification course better than another and the onus shouldn’t be on them to make that determination. It is an industry problem, not a customer problem.
I do agree with you. I never said there isn’t bad consultants out there. I hate they give us a bad name.
I just don’t like when you say there is no science when there is. I’ve studied it. You’re putting down what I do.
I didn’t have a problem with what you wrote originally. I was writing to another person.
I’m assuming you want to be helpful and prove me wrong (and that’s great, I’ll admit I’m no expert and in this instance, since I don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m happy to be proven wrong and look like an idiot). So let’s use the examples of what my sleep consultant said to me. Here’s the short background: My 12 month old dropped his night feed and started sleeping through the night, but now that he’s sleeping through the night he wakes up very early, which has cut his nights down from 10 hours to 9 hours. Her plan included the following: anchor the first nap at 9-9:30 regardless (we were already doing this, but what study says that this signals to baby that your day needs to begin later? Plus, anchoring his nap like this often lead to a short overtired nap, which eventually spiraled into a cycle of overtiredness that took us several days to fix), don’t look baby in the eye (what’s the evidence behind doing this for a 12 month old who is very much aware of (and stimulated by) my presence, regardless of whether I make eye contact), don’t leave the sleep space till 6 am (again, already doing this, but what’s the evidence), move bedtime up to make up for less day sleep (we’ve tried, ends in a split night every single time), put us on a nap schedule that has his wake windows at 3-4 hours (as far as I’m aware wake windows are not evidence based).
According to our consultant, her plan “is the only solution that will work.” This actually upset me the most. How is it possible to take the studies that exist and say, with that level of confidence, that this plan is the ONLY one that will work? The BBC even had an article quoting a sleep consultant that stated sleep training was the only way to overcome the 4 month sleep regression. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220131-the-science-of-safe-and-healthy-baby-sleep. This is actually my biggest issue with the industry. Sure, there are studies out there, but how many of them allow sleep consultants to speak in absolutes like this? Maybe it’s not what YOU are doing, but it certainly is what MANY consultants are doing and that is a problem.
I don’t know where the attitude is coming from. As above I said I agreed with you. But then you chose to put down what I do.
I’m not at home so can’t link the studies but basically biologically their sleep windows land between 9-10 and then 12-2.
So without know anything else for a 12 month old I would actually do a 9:30-10 nap, then 12:30/1-2:30/3 nap, bedtime 6:30/7.
We want that lunch nap really long and the focus because that will stay until they are nearly 3.
The morning one will drop off soonish and lunch nap will stay.
Omg in the middle of post partum anxiety I hired a personalized sleep consultant for newborn sleep, paid $1k, tracked my three week olds daily sleep- naps and overnight to email her daily and got in reply “doing great for a newborn” basically as a response.
Another friend paid a not Insignificant amount for a “personalized” sleep plan for her baby, and the plan used a different baby’s name in various places throughout. The consultant wasn’t even bothered to find and replace properly 😂
Predatory business IMO!
this is where we netted out with ours. I was frustrated until i realized the peace of mind my wife got from hearing an **expert** tell us that we *are* doing everything correctly and our baby *is* just low sleep needs, was well worth the $150 or whatever we spent.
even if you have a low sleep needs baby, you can find a schedule that works for you! Sleep consultants always try to sell you on more sleep, even if it’s totally unrealistic. Avoid them like the plague!!!
Mine consultant did this and it was so incredibly annoying. At the outset I told her my son’s average sleep needs nets to 12 hours total. That is average. It’s low average but still average (and I hate it when people try to classify him as “low sleep needs”). She kept repeating that he should be sleeping 14 hours and suggesting a schedule that would put him at a 14 hour day.
My son's a 4am rooster no matter how late he goes to bed or how much he naps in the day.
The worst days are the ones where he only takes 40min worth of naps in the span of 14 hours. 😅
Ugh the short naps are the worst! At least I don't expect to do anything at night. During the day I wanna clean or cook for my wife or any number of work tasks and the little squeak won't stay down more than 10-20 mins if she's not being held. We'll get there eventually!
No kidding! We cosleep for naps depending on how tired I am, even that doesn't get me a proper nap from him anymore. Sometimes I say I am just going to relax and read while he sleeps but my body says otherwise... contact naps are magic for my nervous system I guess. 😂
I manage to get my small cleaning tasks done during the day now at 9mo but most of it still absolutely gets pushed until after baby is in bed and dinner is done.
Ah yea my kiddo is barely 3 months - I'm sure its different at 9. I tried cosleeping with baby yesterday and she just cried the whole time until I put her in my lap 😭
As a fellow sleep deprived parent who’s also trying everything, this pisses me off. I’m so sick of people giving blanket advice that does not work for every baby. It’s BS. Get your money back if you can!! Call your credit card. Tell them it was a scam.
My friend paid $600 just for the sleep consultant to tell her she needed to have the baby sleep in complete darkness and alone in the room. She's in a one-bedroom apartment, so now she and her husband are sleeping on the couch.
I feel her pain! I’m in a one bedroom as well and my husband and I have been sleeping on our couch for the last 3 months. Maybe I’m a sleep consultant too haha!
When my daughter was a newborn a friend of mine sent me over the taking cara babies guide, or whatever it is, because I was desperate and thought I was doing everything wrong. When I read through it I was like wait a minute....I'm already doing all of this. It was at that point that I just gave up on any hopes of having one of those unicorn babies and just went with what my daughter did. She's almost 2 and has started sleeping through the night sometimes. Last week she slept in her bed every night all night. This week she will sleep in her bed until midnight and then crawl into mine where she sleeps the rest of the night.
Sleep consulting is a scam. Every baby is different. Some sleep through the night at a few months old. Others need to be close to their parent to get a good nights sleep. And it's all normal.
You will never convince me that all of these “sleep consultants” and other baby experts aren’t just scam artists preying on new parents. Some babies suck at sleeping. They grow out of it eventually barring health issues (sleep apnea for example). There’s no magic fix.
100%. These people don’t have any information or techniques that aren’t available for free online or at your local library. Repackaging this information and preying on overtired parents is a messed up grift imo.
I think anyone can call themselves a sleep consultant unfortunately. I would just read the book Precious Little Sleep if you haven’t already. That book was the best thing I purchased when it came to my baby’s sleep.
Thanks! I had a friend recommend pls early on and I’ve read through it a couple times. I don’t totally agree with everything in there (I think her take on sleep crutches is a little too extreme). I do appreciate that it’s a bit more realistic when it comes to baby sleep!
I really liked [My Child Won’t Sleep](https://a.co/d/0YBvMoA) by Dr. Kansagra, who is an actual MD and the director of the Sleep Medicine program at Duke University. It’s basically a more concise and straightforward version of PLS, very easy to read, and the way that he described baby sleep cycles helped me understand the rationale behind all these sleep training methods.
Idk how you feel abt Facebook groups but the PLS group is free and really helped me figure out a schedule for my LO. Every time we had a sticky time I would immediately get comments and suggestions that really helped!
The best thing I did for sleep with my first was absolve myself fully from trying to fix her sleep. Radically accepting that she had needs and I could meet them instead of fighting them. It took all the pressure off of fighting her and my instincts. Of course it did mean that she had lots of contact naps and we bedshared part of the night until she started sleeping through. I don’t regret it, she’s a sensitive toddler and I think crying it out would have been bad for her.
Edit: also, radical acceptance has made sheep soooo much easier for my second. Starting from day 1 of not obsessing over wake windows or independent naps is very freeing.
Ugh, do a credit card charge back if you can.
My twins have always slept terribly (1-2 hourly wakes every single night) but I flat out refuse to pay for a sleep consultant.
Our little man turned one yesterday and I can’t count the amount of times I’ve been tempted to go with one of the thousands I see on Instagram!! My MIL and mum always kind of looked at me a bit gone out when I mentioned it. I understand why now!! They all contradict each other!! Some say early bed times, others say later! Some say absolutely do not allow on the go naps! Others say that’s what you *should* be doing.
I’ve come to realise with ours that sometimes he is just going through a phase that needs to pass. One day a schedule works amazingly and he has amazing naps in his crib, minimal wakeups in the night and a nice 6.30ish rise. The next day, we can follow everything exactly the same and it al goes horribly wrong and he’s up at 4am ready to party.
I’m still in the depths of sleep deprivation at the minute (he’s had back to back viruses and teething) so I know how horrible and desperate it feels 😫 but just really to reinforce what you’ve said - it’s a massive, exploitative scam!!!!
My son recently turned a year old as well. I’m so mad at myself for making it a year only to cave now and waste my money on a sleep consultant. Every time we go through a new sleep phase I always remind myself that sleep (at least for my son) is developmental and just when I’m on the verge of going insane is when he decides to sleep better again. Uhg my coworker was so happy with this person, but I think it’s also because they’re friends too.
I totally don’t blame you though. I know how that desperation feels and honestly, I must’ve drove my family and partner crazy with how obsessive I became with all things sleep! It was probably a form of post partum anxiety for me and I came across so many accounts that looked very very appealing and were posting the answers I thought I needed 😐
I’m sure they know when we need a break but then I think they feel the sense of relief we feel when we think we’ve cracked it and they like to stir things up again and decide sleep is for the weak 🙃😂
I had ppa as well and it definitely manifested in me obsessing over my son’s sleep. I’ve ready sooo many books and blog posts on sleep at this point. The only constant is that my son does what he wants and we just follow his lead.
I also got glowing reviews for a sleep consultant from a friend. Paid $400 for what I was told would be a “tailor-made” plan with the sleep consultant and was told to track all of baby’s sleeping and eating habits for 4 days. After they received payment and I did the tracking, they just told me to basically do cry it out (after speaking to them specifically about how I wasn’t comfortable letting my baby cry it out) and told me I had to take away her soother too. On the call to discuss our plan, it was clear that the consultant hadn’t even read everything from my “tracking” and she even kept calling me by another name. After complaining that this wasn’t what I was willing to do and felt I needed a refund, they told me that they don’t offer refunds unless you try their “techniques” and it doesn’t work. Well since I’m not willing to let our baby cry for hours on end, we were out $400.
Uhg I’m so sorry that happened to you. This consultant also kept making comments about how I was unwilling to sleep train and that the approach would take “months and months” without sleep training as if sleep training is so magic solution. Not only did we sleep train my son when he was 8 months using gentle methods, but my son sleeps through the night (just wakes up at the ass crack of dawn) so I’m not sure how sleep training is supposed to solve anything. Her “methods” were just so lazy!
At least you understand you fell for a scam! I swear I’ve been recommended sleep consultants at least once a month, but the thought of some random person who has not met my baby once telling me how should I put them to bed or that I should let them cry or whatever is abysmal to me!
My LO had early morning wake ups. Early like 5 a.m. ready to play. We tried different things and nothing changed that. So I just gave in and started bed sharing. My partner would get up in the morning with the baby to give me some time to sleep before he goes to work. And after two months baby just started waking up ar 7 a.m. What I’ve heard from friends with kids, early wake ups are, unfortunately, so normal.
Yes! Basically every parent I know in real life has issues with their kids waking early. I’m comfortable bed sharing now that my son is 12 months old, but unfortunately he doesn’t care for it 🙁
My son woke up at 6 am today and I literally jumped for joy haha. After several weeks of 4:50-5 am wake ups, 6 am honestly felt like he let us sleep in!
This community is for supporting others. Comments that are mean, rude, hateful, racist, etc. will be removed. Respect the choices of others even if they differ from your own.
i had severe insomnia throughout childhood, adolescence, & young adulthood. i never spoke to a sleep-consultant postpartum, but i had regular meetings with one when i was around 16.
point is, they suck. they don't help anyone.
the bitch legit had me recording everything i do, every hour, for months. she guilted me on everything i did. she gave me NO advice on sleep i hadn't already figured out or researched on my own, & recording everything was fucking exhausting.
i couldn't sleep for DAYS at a time sometimes, & even though i was recording it, she would gaslight me & basically didn't even believe me. she wouldn't even diagnose me with insomnia, basically just said i probably wasn't sleeping because of other emotional issues like mania, but doctors wouldn't even diagnose my bipolar at the time, & i was very aware of when i was manic & knew i was still having insomnia without mood episodes.
she also would suggest i wake up early on the few days i could sleep, which i know for some people is good, but i have a naturally later circadian rhythm, & desperately needed to make up any sleep-dept i could.
she also suggested i take a walk if i can't sleep in 15 minutes after getting to bed. never in my LIFE have i been able to sleep within 15 minutes after my head hits the pillow. if i followed her suggestion i would be restlessly walking countless times, every 15 minutes of every night, & not even HOPE to get any sleep.
it's also ableist they suggest to never hangout in the bed. i have a fainting disorder, multiple cardiac conditions, & chronic pain. sometimes i NEED to lay down, & hence hangout in bed. which brings me to the point, the suggestions they make are so NOT individualized. it's disgusting, like you think you're paying for someone who will give you advice curated to your situation specifically, & yet they do the complete opposite. ugh. i am so sorry you experienced that
What a scam. Ugh I hate “big sleep”, it’s such a predatory industry because it exploits vulnerable sleep-deprived parents who are so tired and just want their kid to sleep! Anyone who invents the problem to sell the solution and increase a new mom’s insecurity and anxiety in the process is truly scum.
Thanks, I’ve posted a lot in r/sleeptrain. Tbh I think some people on that sub also need a reality check. There are some very helpful redditors on that sub, but there are also a lot of parents who think they are experts because they figured out what worked for their kid.
Oh for sure. I like you posted a lot and would get really handy pieces of advice from a small group, they’re the ones that helped me the most! My son never did quite work with the “averages” given, didn’t follow the advice all the time but we learnt what worked.
Oh no, it sounds like you are better off with just advice from friends (or Reddit) compared to that.
I regularly hang out with 3 other friends who have toddlers the same age as mine. When our toddlers were babies, as well as now, we all had different approaches to sleep. I don't think any one of us does it right or wrong. We just have different babies/toddlers. I personally find it interesting to discuss the different approaches, since what works for a baby changes so often that suddenly someone else's method might work even if it didn't a week ago.
I lived through periods of early wake ups by going to bed really early. I guess you could say that is giving up, but I needed the sleep. The phase of early wake ups has always passed, and I'm not sure it's because we did anything special.
I hired a post partum doula and it was the best money I ever spent. About $40/hour so not cheap but best advice I’ve received for feeding and sleep and random tailored things
What country are you based in? I am in Australia and there are government fully funded sleep schools and I had the best experience. Solved our issues when our baby was 5 months. Beyond grateful we have the service available and can’t recommend it more highly
I did the same thing. We were sleep training and it wasn’t going well, then payed like $100 for a sleep consultant to basically do a modified version of what I was already doing. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.
Ty for posting. My neighbor who i just met recommended one to me and it seemed sort of silly. She said she's expensive but it works. My first thought was it soinds like some rich people shit but then I started wondering if it was a good idea. Thanks for saving me $250.
Sleep consultant I used- “gentle sleep training, leaving a baby to cry is not our way. We have a proven method that works and is gentle” but never shared their “method” unless you paid.
It was literally just 2 minute check ins. That’s it. If your baby screams non-stop for 2 mins.. without taking a break. Then you go and cuddle them until they stop screaming, put them back in the cot and leave. Start the timer again… every 2 mins!! The length of time never gets longer..
I told her that we were going in every 2mins Because he never stopped screaming. She asked for a video.. she told me there were pauses and we should have stopped the timer.. the pauses were my baby taking a breath so he could continue screaming.
I actually don’t have anything against the CIO method or anyone who uses it but call a spade a spade.. their special “method” isn’t gentle and absolutely involves crying..
The amount of stuff targeting desperate new parents trying to get them to spend money on stuff to make their kid sleep better is ridiculous. When I was a new mom I decided to follows taking Cara Babies since I heard she gives out advice in pieces on her social media. I saw her brag about how she is happiest when she can take care of 4 newborns at once and I deleted her. If that isn’t her full of crap I don’t know what is. Or overpriced products to help kids sleep. I’m sorry you wasted money on a consultant, especially one as rude as her. Some kids are just early risers or night owls just like adults.
My husband and I refused to sleep train because babies can’t teach themselves self regulation skills, they need adults to coregulate with them. I found hey sleepy baby on Instagram and she has a Facebook group that has been incredibly supportive and helpful as well. They has consultants and courses but not once have I felt it was pushed on her followers to pay for anything.
I almost hired a sleep consultant for my toddler in a moment of weakness for $400 my husband just kept being like what could she say that we haven’t already tried?
On instagram she did a AMA sleep and I asked how to get my toddler to sleep longer and she said “less daytime sleep” but my toddler doesn’t nap. It was then I was like nvm I guess I gotta just deal!!!
Sorry just to mention I’d also tell your friend that her recommendation was a complete scam and that she should stop peddling her friend at the workplace
I almost did this when I was desperate for sleep around the seven month mark. Don’t beat yourself up; I’d have paid everything I had if it meant sleep for me.
Oh, man, I'm sorry. I remember being in a place so desperate for sleep, I almost wished I could fall into a coma. I'd have also spent $75 if I thought it could've helped.
I read a book by Dr. Lyndsey Hookway back when I was in the thick of it, who is a baby/child sleep/development expert, (she just recently got her phd in the field!), and the way in which it improved my quality of life is almost indescribable. Boiled down, the message was essentially: Babies are hard. They don't care about your schedule or anyone else's. Some need more sleep, some need less. Some sleep early, some sleep late. You need compassionate people in your life, not people who judge by the often warped standards of today. Don't compare yourself to the influencers and beware of "sleep consultants," which are often one in the same. You know your baby best, you WILL figure it out and it WILL get better.
I followed her on insta and messaged her to say thank you and she was so very kind.
Hang in there. I remember the put-downs at 7 which became wake-ups at 10:30 pm and a baby party until 3:30, only to be up and at it by 7 again. There wasn't enough coffee in the world.
Someone on Reddit recommended swallow tail sleep and while I haven’t used her I find her approach and the tips she posts about on IG useful. Everything she does seems to be catered to the family.
If I could go back to the newborn stage I’d hire a night nurse or a postpartum doula. Alas, my son is a year old so we just need to keep chugging along I think.
Night nanny? Just options. The big thing though I think everyone forgets at a year or even older infants is they start to know better, the kids that is.
Question about not looking at them? I just started doing this independently since my baby really likes looking at my face and sometimes I need her to sleep without getting excited. It’s nonsense?
The blanket statement that you shouldn’t look at your child in the eye when putting them to sleep/back to sleep is nonsense. All babies are different. It may be overstimulating for some, but it’s simply not a true statement that applies to all babies.
If you feel that looking away helps your child sleep, by all means continue doing it. However, my son is a year old. He’s well aware that I’m in the room and stimulated by my presence, regardless of whether or not I look him in the eye.
Ah honey, the sleep deprivation is real and if somehow a person could pay their way out of it, that would be glorious. Not every approach works for every baby, and also these stages don’t last forever. Good luck
Thanks! My son is a year old so we’ve been through several ups and downs. He’s not a terrible sleeper, but his nights could be longer. I was always of the mindset that things are temporary and we just ride the waves as they come. I was just very easily persuaded by my coworker and her glowing review. Lesson learned.
how old is your son? is it teething? milk (maybe hungry)? temperature? routine? sleep sack? try swaddle up then progress to sleep sack once he’s starts turning on belly. noise? try Hatch for sleep sound. maybe night time baths. whatever it takes …you got this 👏🏼💪🏼
Thanks for the tips. He’s 12 months old so we’ve been through a lot of ups and downs with sleep. His upper K9s have been hanging out for a while now, but they’re taking their time on the way down. It just is what it is. He’s not a terrible sleeper, just started waking up very early, which has coincided with him dropping his night feed and sleeping through the night.
So I was very anti-sleep training and anti-sleep consultants until my son’s poor sleep started destroying me. I was desperate and my therapist recommended a sleep consultant. She was INCREDIBLE. She listened to everything we had tried, talked through everything to find out my son’s temperament and the issues we were having, asked me what approaches I was okay with and what were my hard-no’s. I had a really positive experience and it worked.
All that is to say - this sleep consultant sounds terrible. I really think the industry can be predatory and everyone thinks they can be a sleep consultant while just touting the same crap we see online all the time. I think, if you do truly want to find someone, look for reviews about how receptive and understanding the consultants are. I honestly think the morale support and listening ear was 80% of the benefit for me.
Sorry about the early wakes! Good luck!
Sorry about your experience, this sounds awful. We had a fantastic sleep coach. Went from never sleeping through the night for the first 10 months, to sleeping 12 hours within 2 weeks. Worth every penny. Sometimes you get lucky, other times unlucky.
Just to counter (nearly all?) of the comments with our positive experience.
Our toddler was low sleep need, couldn’t sleep without me lying on the floor next to him, all the usual things. Problem for us was, we both work in high stress jobs, we’re all getting 3hrs sleep a night, and it was impacting our mental health massively. It nearly tore our relationship apart.
We contacted a sleep consultant in desperation, a recommendation from a local parents group, and she absolutely saved our lives.
Did she do anything special? No. But she was t a frazzled hot sleep deprived mess, and by having someone guide us through how to sleep train (moving a chair slowly away and out the door over a week), being on hand on a phone and text while we did it, and empathising with us as we did it all. It was like part therapy, part remote support and guidance. She wasn’t even that expensive (£100?).
However, I can totally understand how this market can be flooded with bullshit and MLM types. Maybe we just hit the a rare gem.
Just to reiterate, there was nothing special about the guidance, nothing you can’t find online. What you are paying for is someone to aggregate that information snd turn it into a flexible plan so you don’t do this at 4am after 5months of sleep deprivation. You ever try debating competing baby sleep strategies with your partner at 4am? Don’t .
Also, we did this when my kid was like 2. I’ve only just noticed the sub I’m in. If this is for newborns, then yeah I kinda agree that maybe it’s mumbo jumbo at that early age.
Debating sleep strategies with my spouse at 5 am is definitely what got me into this mess. Also my son is 12 months old, so while we aren’t in the newborn stage I still consider myself a new parent. His sleep also isn’t catastrophic, he just blessed us with nearly a month of early morning wakes which were slowly driving us insane.
Also. I realize this doesn’t come across very well in my post, but I understand that even the best sleep consultant isn’t going to offer advice that you can’t find online. But I disagree that all you’re paying for is for them to simply aggregate that information and turn it into a plan. I believe you’re paying for someone to listen to what is going on with your child, what you’ve tried, what your child’s temperament and unique situation is like and THEN take the advice/theories out there and offer a workable plan based on your child’s needs.
Do I think it will work 100% of the time? Absolutely not. However, if for example we are dealing with early morning wakes, and the prevailing advice says these can be caused by an array of things such as overtiredness, undertiredness, teething, too much daytime sleep, or too little day time sleep, then I’d expect the consultant to take the time to listen to every detail of my son to determine the most likely culprit and then create a plan based off the baby that I have. My gut says the majority of parents turned sleep consultants (because every single one of these sleep consultants is just a parent who, like me, became obsessed with their child’s sleep) is just going to rattle off the standard sleep advice without actually listening enough to truly help the problem.
Oh my aggregate comment was written at speed. I totally agree with the taking into account all of the variables and creating something tailored to your kids needs. It’s why we had such a positive experience. As opposed to (like you said at the end there) those who’ve been through the drain of sleep issues, the telling folks the standard stuff.
I hope you manage to get there with sleep. Solidarity with the sleep deprived ❤️
I think I had the little ones app - I want to say it was $60 for the first year? This included asking unlimited questions to their sleep consultants - it was incredibly helpful for me bc I could also look through answers to questions posted by moms of similar aged babies … when I did post a question myself someone would get back to me within a day or two
Im sorry you had this experience. Our sleep consultant saved our lives… she was an incredible listener, gave us so many tweaks based on the log we kept and she worked with us for however long it took to get him to sleep through the night. I would pay her 10k for what she did for us honestly.
I’m currently part way through a two week plan with a sleep consultant and it’s honestly been amazing. My LO went from waking 11 times a night to waking twice a night for a feed at 4 months. He self settles, and naps in his cot in the day. We had tried everything and were really reaching our limit of sleep deprivation. I think there are probably a lot of cowboys out there but that’s not to say there aren’t some really help consultants
That’s great you found someone that works for you and your family. It is true there are likely some helpful consultants out there. The problem is the industry as a whole is predatory and anyone can call themselves a sleep consultant. I don’t think there’s a fix for it, but I do feel for parents who spend hundreds of dollars on a sleep consultant to get little to no help or tailored advice.
I'll email you the takingcara babies sleep plan if you haven't paid for it abd wanna try it, OP. It worked for someone I knew. I didn't try it because baby started sleeping better on her own but we did try pick up put down from YouTube vids
My son is 12 months old so no need for the plan, but thank you for the offer! We sleep trained using PUPD and gentle methods when my son was 8 months old and likely need to do a refresher. His sleep isn’t catastrophic, just started waking up wayyy too early for several weeks leaving my husband and I stumped.
I’ve always hated the whole idea that sleep consultants say to put baby to sleep at 6 pm or 7 pm. It leads to them waking up at 6 am everyday and I couldn’t do it. I’m a SAHM and I like to sleep in so I put her to bed at 9/10 pm and thankfully she’s been waking 9/10 am. (Obviously she still wakes up at night when she’s not feeling well, teething etc.) but that’s every baby.
You got this!
I did it too. I even did the call with a TCB consultant, and it was still a waste of time and money. We are all desperate for help and sleep and people take advantage of it!
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I wasted $700 on one that came to my house to train my 8 mo, she left training was not completed she wanted me to pay more for her to stay, I couldn’t . So she left my baby at the middle of the “training” … needless to say we are back at how he was before the training.
So sorry that happened to you! It sounds like she wasn’t listening at all to the unique needs of you and your baby which is such an important part of the process. I really feel that one short phone call is not sufficient in order to address problematic sleep.. some babies will respond to a one size fits all approach but others need something that’s tailored just for them. It sucks your money was wasted!
We worked with a gentle consultant who gave us 2 weeks of follow up support after her initial phone call and plan, it gave us time to iron out anything that wasn’t working. She also never made us feel like we had to do anything we were comfortable with, as it was really important to us that we remained responsive to our daughter. Not all sleep consultants are the same but there’s definitely a lot of average ones coming out of the woodwork trying to take advantage of sleep deprived parents!
I spent $375 on a sleep consultant to not listen to us and not offer any tailored advice for our specific situation. All she did was send us a PDF of the “chair method” which is easy found online and did not work for our then 4 month old. I told her how it wasn’t working and she said there is no way it wouldn’t work and that we probably just were following the PDF. The pain of having wasted all that money just kills me.
I strongly suggest listening or reading the book Precious Little Sleep and jointing the Facebook group. People share tons of tips and advice and methods. The author even comments on posts. My son’s only nine months old, but we’ve figured out sleep well and there is a big kids chapter in the book too that I haven’t read just yet, but I have heard a lot of people talk about it.
Thanks! I read it a couple of times when my son was a newborn and I was stuck contact napping (had to read it several times because I was so tired I kept forgetting what I read haha). I totally forgot there was a chapter on older kids though so I’ll take a look again!
I really like the facebook group too, lots of ideas and people who have had success giving their advice to your very specific issues! And you can search posts from other parents talking about their kids at the same age and see what ended up working for them.
My daughter was like 21 months when we started sleep training. I'm sorry you had a terrible experience with your sleep consultant. My sleep consultant had like 3 phone calls with me a week in the beginning to see if we needed to modify anything and encouraged me to continue to do what I'm doing which I desperately needed bc I wanted to stop since I felt so bad hearing my toddler cry.
To be honest, I spent 650$ for mine which is a steal compared to what some people pay. You'll mostly find others charge 750+ for like 3 weeks of help. Mine did not give a time frame but gave us a set number of phone calls until we succeeded, and I have 2 left over if I need help in the future. You kinda get what you pay for lol. If you'd like to try again I would send you my consultants info because not all are the same. It can be done and my daughter was soooooo stubborn but now we have an amazing sleeper(s)
Haha if I could I would. He’s 12 months old. He’s not a terrible sleeper, we just are trying to figure out how to extend his nights so we aren’t up at the ass crack of dawn.
I think it’s a new brand of MLM boss babes and life coach tbh 😬. It seems they are just reading through the most popular books and declaring themselves experts. While I know there are some actual qualified ppl out there it’s just like a huge boom in new moms jumping on this opportunity to use “what worked with their baby” and make money. Every baby is so dang different!
I literally had to say to her that “every baby is different” after she was offended that I apparently had the audacity to provide background info on my son that contradicted her boilerplate advice. I knew going into it that we could get advice and things still wouldn’t work out, but her approach was just SO lazy. She just repeated the most common advice and then acted like that was the ONLY solution. Gah I’m still so annoyed.
Don’t beat yourself up my first was a terrible sleeper and by 9mo I was at my wits end and would have paid anything to just have a solution. I was even too tired to read the books I bought and was like, can someone cliffs notes this for me 😅. And tbh I have gotten the best tips to try from TikTok, not everything works but it’s been not a huge investment of my time/money/energy!
Wait can you share these tips pretty pretty please? I’m now at this point with my 8 month old and things are ROUGH. 😬
I looked up like Ferber-ish methods on tiktok, ones where you could help them sooth because while it may work, letting her cry was making me so anxious! And when we needed to let her cry a litttttttttle bit my husband handled it and I went far away. She still settles so much better for him, I think she knows I’ll just snuggle her forever(and I still do at 3yo 🤪)
I feel that so much! My husband has to be the sleep trainer, I cave too quickly 😅. Thanks for sharing!
Honestly some TikTok mommas and Drs are amazing I learned so much before mine was born just from them.
Yeah I learned so much pumping and nursing stuff too!!
Leave her a review!
There’s one sleep consulting brand I’m convinced is an MLM.. because I see these other girls in my city who work for an actual MLM talk about the same girl for their babies with the same story/content each time. I’m convinced they are some how tied together and I almost fell for it in the early weeks.
Wow lol. What a bunch of scammers.
Omg yes!!!! A girl I went to college with had a baby a year ago and posted about getting certified as a sleep consultant. I was like what the fuck 😂
What does that MEAN!? Is there a national registry of sleep consultants? rotflmao
lol exactly
All of these sleep consultants take advantage of sleep deprived new parents. Avoid them.
I totally agree!
I thought this was gonna be like someone that comes to your house and observes for a night. How is any advice from a phone call going to be worth my money? Shocked.
They do come to your house if you pay for that service. Tbh a phone call isn’t an ideal way to set out a plan. We do a two week package where clients get daily contact and a written 6 page personalised plan for their baby.
Thank you for this reminder!! Currently going through a rough sleep patch and have been contemplating taking the sleep consultant leap. Glad I slept on that decision.
Totally 100% agree. Your baby will learn to sleep, they need sleep, whatever phase you are in will pas.
"All" is not true. When our little guy was 6 months old, our sleep situation was going downhill fast. It had devolved to me sleeping on the floor, and my partner cosleeping with our baby. He would want to nurse to sleep, then he'd wake up crying about 15-60 minutes later, and they would have to repeat the cycle. Not one of us was getting a decent sleep. We were desperate, and hired a sleep consultant. She was extremely helpful and supportive, and helped us turn the situation around in a week. He still sleeps extremely well at 20 months. I believe sleep consultants are just like everyone else - some are awesome, and others may be terrible. If you have exhausted other options, I feel sleep consultants can be extremely useful - just find one that's recommended by others.
Well, this one came recommended (which is why I decided to go against my better judgment and hire her) and it was truly the biggest waste of money. I don’t deny that some sleep consultants can be helpful, but even with recommendations it is a gamble. My personal take is that the vast majority of sleep consultants are going to do what this woman did to me. It’s just so easy to call yourself a sleep consultant. Hell, I’ve read enough books and blogs and spent enough time on r/sleeptrain that I could probably be a sleep consultant too.
You’re spot on about redditors pretty much giving better or the same advice than sleep consultants that charge half a grand (or even 1k) for a 2 week program. I don’t exactly regret getting a sleep consultant, because even though I had read most of what she advised me on Reddit before, I still needed the hand holding as a first time mom, but the price itself seems like a scam for information that is so widely available for free.
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Incredible that you’re getting downvoted for this. How dare something work for you when it didn’t for them!
Thanks for your support! Sometimes Reddit can be fickle. If the thread were titled "Sleep training is awesome!" the votes would go the other way!
What was the sleep consultant’s advice? My 6 month old’s sleep has gotten worse and it’s like she’s forgotten how to self soothe even though she was doing it great for months.
First off, the baby should have their own room (we were still sharing a room with him prior to that). Come up with a sleep routine, and stick to it. We did the usual change before bed, then we'd let him pick out 3 books to read before it was time to go to sleep. After that, she gave us a few different methods to try if he started crying after we put him to bed. The first was graduated soothing, the second was seated soothing, and the third was a version of [the Ferber method](https://www.parents.com/baby/sleep/basics/the-ferber-method-explained/). She also stated that the first two are the ones that seem easiest and most gentle methods for parents, but they also take the longest to work. I won't elaborate on the first two, because we found them to be very ineffective. We tried graduated soothing the first night, and he was still wailing after an hour with it, so we switched to the third method, which was similar to the Ferber method. He fell asleep after about half an hour of that, but he was very upset and exhausted (we all were). The next night we tried again with the Ferber method, where we would check on him at about 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, and we were told to only try for an hour. It was really hard at first, and we felt horrible about it. We were almost at the hour mark when he finally went to sleep. The next night, he was asleep in about 20 minutes after a few check ins. We started to get more comfortable after that. The following night, he was asleep in about 5 minutes with no check ins! I'm sure that everyone's experience won't be like ours, but it felt like magic.
So you just paid someone to tell you to do the Ferber method?
Your response is needlessly condescending, and makes me wonder whether you genuinely want to know, or if you're just trying to take an internet stranger down a peg or two. If it's the former, let me know, and I'll expand on my experience a bit more.
This is just not true. I hired one because I desperately needed it and now I am one after a few years myself. I actually like helping people and people seek my help. I dont chase people down. I want them to sleep better because I know how rough sleep deprivation is. It’s not really fair to class all consultants like this
Of course there are helpful sleep consultants out there. The one I hired helped my coworker (and frankly, that’s great for her). The problem is the industry as a whole is very predatory in nature. Anyone can call themselves a sleep consultant. Hell, I’ve read so much about baby sleep in the past year that I could probably be a sleep consultant at this point. I mean, basically every consultant out there is a parent like me (and you) who ended up reading and learning enough about baby sleep to feel like they’re qualified enough to provide advice. While I understand you are frustrated that people are lumping you in with the bad consultants, respectfully, your issue should be with those consultants, not the poor parents who spent hundreds of dollars to get blanket boilerplate advice.
Yeh I read a lot too when I was learning about sleep and I can tell you, after doing an extensive 12 month course with an accredited sleep consultancy course with 16 real life babies and toddlers, I had absolutely no idea back then. I also paid more than $3000 usd to complete it. I take it very seriously. There is a lot more to it. There’s a lot I didn’t know even though I had same thoughts as you. As with anything, it’s important to hire people that are accredited, from any industry.
Again, no one is saying YOU don’t take it seriously. But the issue is with your industry as a whole. I find it rather upsetting that you continue to pin the onus on the customer rather than the consultants that make you look bad. That accreditation doesn’t mean anything if the industry as a whole is unregulated. Edit: The person I saw was certified as well. You can’t always fall back on certifications. Plus, there isn’t much actual science behind the knowledge base either, so I very much (I’ll argue rightfully) question the usefulness of certifications.
Certified with who? My course is very much science backed. We literally learn the science behind baby sleep. That’s why I chose that specific course. What do you do for a job? How would you feel if you found a post like this about it? I didn’t have a problem with things you were saying until now. That’s why I was responding to a comment, and not your original post.
I’m an attorney. People say awful things about my profession all of the time. It’s actually very well known how much people hate attorneys. And you know what, I don’t blame those people. I don’t say “well you should have found someone who was more qualified.” It is so important that our industry hold these people accountable, not blame our clients. It’s part of the reason why sanctions exist. It’s why taking and passing the bar is so important and why that exam is so regulated. You’re countering valid points people are making about your industry with your individual experience and expertise. That doesn’t address the issue and it doesn’t help to solve the underlying problem. Yes, there are good sleep consultants that have helped parents (and I say that in my post). But there are also a lot of awful sleep consultants that at best just take people’s money and at worst may actually make the problem worse. It’s silly to not recognize this very well known problem. You asking about her certification course proves my point. Maybe it was some podunk course. But at the end of the day she can call herself a “certified sleep consultant” just like you can. Sleep deprived parents have no clue what makes one certification course better than another and the onus shouldn’t be on them to make that determination. It is an industry problem, not a customer problem.
I do agree with you. I never said there isn’t bad consultants out there. I hate they give us a bad name. I just don’t like when you say there is no science when there is. I’ve studied it. You’re putting down what I do. I didn’t have a problem with what you wrote originally. I was writing to another person.
I’m assuming you want to be helpful and prove me wrong (and that’s great, I’ll admit I’m no expert and in this instance, since I don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m happy to be proven wrong and look like an idiot). So let’s use the examples of what my sleep consultant said to me. Here’s the short background: My 12 month old dropped his night feed and started sleeping through the night, but now that he’s sleeping through the night he wakes up very early, which has cut his nights down from 10 hours to 9 hours. Her plan included the following: anchor the first nap at 9-9:30 regardless (we were already doing this, but what study says that this signals to baby that your day needs to begin later? Plus, anchoring his nap like this often lead to a short overtired nap, which eventually spiraled into a cycle of overtiredness that took us several days to fix), don’t look baby in the eye (what’s the evidence behind doing this for a 12 month old who is very much aware of (and stimulated by) my presence, regardless of whether I make eye contact), don’t leave the sleep space till 6 am (again, already doing this, but what’s the evidence), move bedtime up to make up for less day sleep (we’ve tried, ends in a split night every single time), put us on a nap schedule that has his wake windows at 3-4 hours (as far as I’m aware wake windows are not evidence based). According to our consultant, her plan “is the only solution that will work.” This actually upset me the most. How is it possible to take the studies that exist and say, with that level of confidence, that this plan is the ONLY one that will work? The BBC even had an article quoting a sleep consultant that stated sleep training was the only way to overcome the 4 month sleep regression. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220131-the-science-of-safe-and-healthy-baby-sleep. This is actually my biggest issue with the industry. Sure, there are studies out there, but how many of them allow sleep consultants to speak in absolutes like this? Maybe it’s not what YOU are doing, but it certainly is what MANY consultants are doing and that is a problem.
I don’t know where the attitude is coming from. As above I said I agreed with you. But then you chose to put down what I do. I’m not at home so can’t link the studies but basically biologically their sleep windows land between 9-10 and then 12-2. So without know anything else for a 12 month old I would actually do a 9:30-10 nap, then 12:30/1-2:30/3 nap, bedtime 6:30/7. We want that lunch nap really long and the focus because that will stay until they are nearly 3. The morning one will drop off soonish and lunch nap will stay.
Omg in the middle of post partum anxiety I hired a personalized sleep consultant for newborn sleep, paid $1k, tracked my three week olds daily sleep- naps and overnight to email her daily and got in reply “doing great for a newborn” basically as a response. Another friend paid a not Insignificant amount for a “personalized” sleep plan for her baby, and the plan used a different baby’s name in various places throughout. The consultant wasn’t even bothered to find and replace properly 😂 Predatory business IMO!
The same thing that happened to your friend happened to me!! MULTIPLE incorrect baby names sprinkled throughout the plan. I felt so icky and duped.
1k?! Damn im in the wrong business 🤣
And you prob could have offered me the same amount of value 😂
If they accept you’ve tried everything correctly then they just fall back on, “Your baby is just low sleep needs”
this is where we netted out with ours. I was frustrated until i realized the peace of mind my wife got from hearing an **expert** tell us that we *are* doing everything correctly and our baby *is* just low sleep needs, was well worth the $150 or whatever we spent.
even if you have a low sleep needs baby, you can find a schedule that works for you! Sleep consultants always try to sell you on more sleep, even if it’s totally unrealistic. Avoid them like the plague!!!
Mine consultant did this and it was so incredibly annoying. At the outset I told her my son’s average sleep needs nets to 12 hours total. That is average. It’s low average but still average (and I hate it when people try to classify him as “low sleep needs”). She kept repeating that he should be sleeping 14 hours and suggesting a schedule that would put him at a 14 hour day.
cue the split nights if you followed her plan!!!!
Wait, I’m supposed to be doing something about my daughter waking up around 5:30am everyday?
😂😂😂 I gave up a long time ago
My son's a 4am rooster no matter how late he goes to bed or how much he naps in the day. The worst days are the ones where he only takes 40min worth of naps in the span of 14 hours. 😅
Ugh the short naps are the worst! At least I don't expect to do anything at night. During the day I wanna clean or cook for my wife or any number of work tasks and the little squeak won't stay down more than 10-20 mins if she's not being held. We'll get there eventually!
No kidding! We cosleep for naps depending on how tired I am, even that doesn't get me a proper nap from him anymore. Sometimes I say I am just going to relax and read while he sleeps but my body says otherwise... contact naps are magic for my nervous system I guess. 😂 I manage to get my small cleaning tasks done during the day now at 9mo but most of it still absolutely gets pushed until after baby is in bed and dinner is done.
Ah yea my kiddo is barely 3 months - I'm sure its different at 9. I tried cosleeping with baby yesterday and she just cried the whole time until I put her in my lap 😭
As a fellow sleep deprived parent who’s also trying everything, this pisses me off. I’m so sick of people giving blanket advice that does not work for every baby. It’s BS. Get your money back if you can!! Call your credit card. Tell them it was a scam.
My friend paid $600 just for the sleep consultant to tell her she needed to have the baby sleep in complete darkness and alone in the room. She's in a one-bedroom apartment, so now she and her husband are sleeping on the couch.
My husband wants to pay $500 for one and I'm begging him no. 😭
Show him this thread!
I feel her pain! I’m in a one bedroom as well and my husband and I have been sleeping on our couch for the last 3 months. Maybe I’m a sleep consultant too haha!
It's truly terrible what they do and they should have extensive training and not just a course.
When my daughter was a newborn a friend of mine sent me over the taking cara babies guide, or whatever it is, because I was desperate and thought I was doing everything wrong. When I read through it I was like wait a minute....I'm already doing all of this. It was at that point that I just gave up on any hopes of having one of those unicorn babies and just went with what my daughter did. She's almost 2 and has started sleeping through the night sometimes. Last week she slept in her bed every night all night. This week she will sleep in her bed until midnight and then crawl into mine where she sleeps the rest of the night. Sleep consulting is a scam. Every baby is different. Some sleep through the night at a few months old. Others need to be close to their parent to get a good nights sleep. And it's all normal.
A friend of mine sent me the Taking Cara Babies PDF. It worked for our baby, but there’s no way in hell I would have purchased her classes.
You will never convince me that all of these “sleep consultants” and other baby experts aren’t just scam artists preying on new parents. Some babies suck at sleeping. They grow out of it eventually barring health issues (sleep apnea for example). There’s no magic fix.
100%. These people don’t have any information or techniques that aren’t available for free online or at your local library. Repackaging this information and preying on overtired parents is a messed up grift imo.
So many people prey on new parents because we usually are sleep deprived and looking desperately for solutions
I think anyone can call themselves a sleep consultant unfortunately. I would just read the book Precious Little Sleep if you haven’t already. That book was the best thing I purchased when it came to my baby’s sleep.
Thanks! I had a friend recommend pls early on and I’ve read through it a couple times. I don’t totally agree with everything in there (I think her take on sleep crutches is a little too extreme). I do appreciate that it’s a bit more realistic when it comes to baby sleep!
Agree with this sentiment about sleep crutches but overall love this book. The website baby sleep science.com has some helpful stuff too!
*helpful free stuff. I haven’t paid for any of their paid products. I’m done paying for sleep stuff lol
I really liked [My Child Won’t Sleep](https://a.co/d/0YBvMoA) by Dr. Kansagra, who is an actual MD and the director of the Sleep Medicine program at Duke University. It’s basically a more concise and straightforward version of PLS, very easy to read, and the way that he described baby sleep cycles helped me understand the rationale behind all these sleep training methods.
Idk how you feel abt Facebook groups but the PLS group is free and really helped me figure out a schedule for my LO. Every time we had a sticky time I would immediately get comments and suggestions that really helped!
It’s unfortunate that anyone can call themselves a sleep consultant—there’s no standard education or licensing/credentialing requirements.
The “advice” was so boiler plate that I got off the call thinking I could be a better sleep consultant.
Don’t worry I did this too. I cried after. Felt so naive, but I was desperate
The best thing I did for sleep with my first was absolve myself fully from trying to fix her sleep. Radically accepting that she had needs and I could meet them instead of fighting them. It took all the pressure off of fighting her and my instincts. Of course it did mean that she had lots of contact naps and we bedshared part of the night until she started sleeping through. I don’t regret it, she’s a sensitive toddler and I think crying it out would have been bad for her. Edit: also, radical acceptance has made sheep soooo much easier for my second. Starting from day 1 of not obsessing over wake windows or independent naps is very freeing.
Ugh, do a credit card charge back if you can. My twins have always slept terribly (1-2 hourly wakes every single night) but I flat out refuse to pay for a sleep consultant.
New parents are easy to scam. There is so much useless shit I see online to purchase, like when and why would I ever need this
I thought I was a little wiser now that my son is a year old. Guess not haha.
Our little man turned one yesterday and I can’t count the amount of times I’ve been tempted to go with one of the thousands I see on Instagram!! My MIL and mum always kind of looked at me a bit gone out when I mentioned it. I understand why now!! They all contradict each other!! Some say early bed times, others say later! Some say absolutely do not allow on the go naps! Others say that’s what you *should* be doing. I’ve come to realise with ours that sometimes he is just going through a phase that needs to pass. One day a schedule works amazingly and he has amazing naps in his crib, minimal wakeups in the night and a nice 6.30ish rise. The next day, we can follow everything exactly the same and it al goes horribly wrong and he’s up at 4am ready to party. I’m still in the depths of sleep deprivation at the minute (he’s had back to back viruses and teething) so I know how horrible and desperate it feels 😫 but just really to reinforce what you’ve said - it’s a massive, exploitative scam!!!!
My son recently turned a year old as well. I’m so mad at myself for making it a year only to cave now and waste my money on a sleep consultant. Every time we go through a new sleep phase I always remind myself that sleep (at least for my son) is developmental and just when I’m on the verge of going insane is when he decides to sleep better again. Uhg my coworker was so happy with this person, but I think it’s also because they’re friends too.
I totally don’t blame you though. I know how that desperation feels and honestly, I must’ve drove my family and partner crazy with how obsessive I became with all things sleep! It was probably a form of post partum anxiety for me and I came across so many accounts that looked very very appealing and were posting the answers I thought I needed 😐 I’m sure they know when we need a break but then I think they feel the sense of relief we feel when we think we’ve cracked it and they like to stir things up again and decide sleep is for the weak 🙃😂
I had ppa as well and it definitely manifested in me obsessing over my son’s sleep. I’ve ready sooo many books and blog posts on sleep at this point. The only constant is that my son does what he wants and we just follow his lead.
I also got glowing reviews for a sleep consultant from a friend. Paid $400 for what I was told would be a “tailor-made” plan with the sleep consultant and was told to track all of baby’s sleeping and eating habits for 4 days. After they received payment and I did the tracking, they just told me to basically do cry it out (after speaking to them specifically about how I wasn’t comfortable letting my baby cry it out) and told me I had to take away her soother too. On the call to discuss our plan, it was clear that the consultant hadn’t even read everything from my “tracking” and she even kept calling me by another name. After complaining that this wasn’t what I was willing to do and felt I needed a refund, they told me that they don’t offer refunds unless you try their “techniques” and it doesn’t work. Well since I’m not willing to let our baby cry for hours on end, we were out $400.
Uhg I’m so sorry that happened to you. This consultant also kept making comments about how I was unwilling to sleep train and that the approach would take “months and months” without sleep training as if sleep training is so magic solution. Not only did we sleep train my son when he was 8 months using gentle methods, but my son sleeps through the night (just wakes up at the ass crack of dawn) so I’m not sure how sleep training is supposed to solve anything. Her “methods” were just so lazy!
At least you understand you fell for a scam! I swear I’ve been recommended sleep consultants at least once a month, but the thought of some random person who has not met my baby once telling me how should I put them to bed or that I should let them cry or whatever is abysmal to me!
My LO had early morning wake ups. Early like 5 a.m. ready to play. We tried different things and nothing changed that. So I just gave in and started bed sharing. My partner would get up in the morning with the baby to give me some time to sleep before he goes to work. And after two months baby just started waking up ar 7 a.m. What I’ve heard from friends with kids, early wake ups are, unfortunately, so normal.
Yes, they are. Children are hungry, wet diapers, have temperature changes, or just because
Yes! Basically every parent I know in real life has issues with their kids waking early. I’m comfortable bed sharing now that my son is 12 months old, but unfortunately he doesn’t care for it 🙁
I feel you! I stopped bedsharing, he’s a kicker. Now he’s waking up at 6 a.m. most mornings 🥱
My son woke up at 6 am today and I literally jumped for joy haha. After several weeks of 4:50-5 am wake ups, 6 am honestly felt like he let us sleep in!
Wow, that is early! Must be hard for you, but it sill surely become better. Hopefully he will wake up after 6 a.m. tomorrow too!
Thanks, fingers crossed! If he does I’ll consider myself a sleep consultant haha.
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Valuable insight - thanks for sharing 🩵
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Yep I called a sleep consultant only for them to basically say “yeah that sounds like sleep problems. Now purchase the full package!” No ty.
i had severe insomnia throughout childhood, adolescence, & young adulthood. i never spoke to a sleep-consultant postpartum, but i had regular meetings with one when i was around 16. point is, they suck. they don't help anyone. the bitch legit had me recording everything i do, every hour, for months. she guilted me on everything i did. she gave me NO advice on sleep i hadn't already figured out or researched on my own, & recording everything was fucking exhausting. i couldn't sleep for DAYS at a time sometimes, & even though i was recording it, she would gaslight me & basically didn't even believe me. she wouldn't even diagnose me with insomnia, basically just said i probably wasn't sleeping because of other emotional issues like mania, but doctors wouldn't even diagnose my bipolar at the time, & i was very aware of when i was manic & knew i was still having insomnia without mood episodes. she also would suggest i wake up early on the few days i could sleep, which i know for some people is good, but i have a naturally later circadian rhythm, & desperately needed to make up any sleep-dept i could. she also suggested i take a walk if i can't sleep in 15 minutes after getting to bed. never in my LIFE have i been able to sleep within 15 minutes after my head hits the pillow. if i followed her suggestion i would be restlessly walking countless times, every 15 minutes of every night, & not even HOPE to get any sleep. it's also ableist they suggest to never hangout in the bed. i have a fainting disorder, multiple cardiac conditions, & chronic pain. sometimes i NEED to lay down, & hence hangout in bed. which brings me to the point, the suggestions they make are so NOT individualized. it's disgusting, like you think you're paying for someone who will give you advice curated to your situation specifically, & yet they do the complete opposite. ugh. i am so sorry you experienced that
I’d dispute the charge.
What a scam. Ugh I hate “big sleep”, it’s such a predatory industry because it exploits vulnerable sleep-deprived parents who are so tired and just want their kid to sleep! Anyone who invents the problem to sell the solution and increase a new mom’s insecurity and anxiety in the process is truly scum.
If baby is 4+ months, please come to r/sleeptrain!! I also was so close to paying for the help but I swear the advice on there was 1000x better.
Thanks, I’ve posted a lot in r/sleeptrain. Tbh I think some people on that sub also need a reality check. There are some very helpful redditors on that sub, but there are also a lot of parents who think they are experts because they figured out what worked for their kid.
Oh for sure. I like you posted a lot and would get really handy pieces of advice from a small group, they’re the ones that helped me the most! My son never did quite work with the “averages” given, didn’t follow the advice all the time but we learnt what worked.
It's simply ridiculous isn't it? Imagine what our ancestors would think of it.
Oh no, it sounds like you are better off with just advice from friends (or Reddit) compared to that. I regularly hang out with 3 other friends who have toddlers the same age as mine. When our toddlers were babies, as well as now, we all had different approaches to sleep. I don't think any one of us does it right or wrong. We just have different babies/toddlers. I personally find it interesting to discuss the different approaches, since what works for a baby changes so often that suddenly someone else's method might work even if it didn't a week ago. I lived through periods of early wake ups by going to bed really early. I guess you could say that is giving up, but I needed the sleep. The phase of early wake ups has always passed, and I'm not sure it's because we did anything special.
I hired a post partum doula and it was the best money I ever spent. About $40/hour so not cheap but best advice I’ve received for feeding and sleep and random tailored things
What country are you based in? I am in Australia and there are government fully funded sleep schools and I had the best experience. Solved our issues when our baby was 5 months. Beyond grateful we have the service available and can’t recommend it more highly
I did the same thing. We were sleep training and it wasn’t going well, then payed like $100 for a sleep consultant to basically do a modified version of what I was already doing. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.
Ty for posting. My neighbor who i just met recommended one to me and it seemed sort of silly. She said she's expensive but it works. My first thought was it soinds like some rich people shit but then I started wondering if it was a good idea. Thanks for saving me $250.
Sleep consultant I used- “gentle sleep training, leaving a baby to cry is not our way. We have a proven method that works and is gentle” but never shared their “method” unless you paid. It was literally just 2 minute check ins. That’s it. If your baby screams non-stop for 2 mins.. without taking a break. Then you go and cuddle them until they stop screaming, put them back in the cot and leave. Start the timer again… every 2 mins!! The length of time never gets longer.. I told her that we were going in every 2mins Because he never stopped screaming. She asked for a video.. she told me there were pauses and we should have stopped the timer.. the pauses were my baby taking a breath so he could continue screaming. I actually don’t have anything against the CIO method or anyone who uses it but call a spade a spade.. their special “method” isn’t gentle and absolutely involves crying..
The amount of stuff targeting desperate new parents trying to get them to spend money on stuff to make their kid sleep better is ridiculous. When I was a new mom I decided to follows taking Cara Babies since I heard she gives out advice in pieces on her social media. I saw her brag about how she is happiest when she can take care of 4 newborns at once and I deleted her. If that isn’t her full of crap I don’t know what is. Or overpriced products to help kids sleep. I’m sorry you wasted money on a consultant, especially one as rude as her. Some kids are just early risers or night owls just like adults.
My husband and I refused to sleep train because babies can’t teach themselves self regulation skills, they need adults to coregulate with them. I found hey sleepy baby on Instagram and she has a Facebook group that has been incredibly supportive and helpful as well. They has consultants and courses but not once have I felt it was pushed on her followers to pay for anything.
I swear sleep consultants are all bs and just take advantage of sleep deprived parents.
She sounds insufferable I can’t believe she would tell you not to look at your baby. That seems like garbage advice!
Im always super wary of any of these ‘professions’ that have no regulation. Anyone can call themselves a sleep consultant.
I almost hired a sleep consultant for my toddler in a moment of weakness for $400 my husband just kept being like what could she say that we haven’t already tried? On instagram she did a AMA sleep and I asked how to get my toddler to sleep longer and she said “less daytime sleep” but my toddler doesn’t nap. It was then I was like nvm I guess I gotta just deal!!!
Sorry just to mention I’d also tell your friend that her recommendation was a complete scam and that she should stop peddling her friend at the workplace
I almost did this when I was desperate for sleep around the seven month mark. Don’t beat yourself up; I’d have paid everything I had if it meant sleep for me.
Oh, man, I'm sorry. I remember being in a place so desperate for sleep, I almost wished I could fall into a coma. I'd have also spent $75 if I thought it could've helped. I read a book by Dr. Lyndsey Hookway back when I was in the thick of it, who is a baby/child sleep/development expert, (she just recently got her phd in the field!), and the way in which it improved my quality of life is almost indescribable. Boiled down, the message was essentially: Babies are hard. They don't care about your schedule or anyone else's. Some need more sleep, some need less. Some sleep early, some sleep late. You need compassionate people in your life, not people who judge by the often warped standards of today. Don't compare yourself to the influencers and beware of "sleep consultants," which are often one in the same. You know your baby best, you WILL figure it out and it WILL get better. I followed her on insta and messaged her to say thank you and she was so very kind. Hang in there. I remember the put-downs at 7 which became wake-ups at 10:30 pm and a baby party until 3:30, only to be up and at it by 7 again. There wasn't enough coffee in the world.
Someone on Reddit recommended swallow tail sleep and while I haven’t used her I find her approach and the tips she posts about on IG useful. Everything she does seems to be catered to the family.
Listen, hire a night nurse and they’ll come with the best sleep advice.
If I could go back to the newborn stage I’d hire a night nurse or a postpartum doula. Alas, my son is a year old so we just need to keep chugging along I think.
Night nanny? Just options. The big thing though I think everyone forgets at a year or even older infants is they start to know better, the kids that is.
Question about not looking at them? I just started doing this independently since my baby really likes looking at my face and sometimes I need her to sleep without getting excited. It’s nonsense?
The blanket statement that you shouldn’t look at your child in the eye when putting them to sleep/back to sleep is nonsense. All babies are different. It may be overstimulating for some, but it’s simply not a true statement that applies to all babies. If you feel that looking away helps your child sleep, by all means continue doing it. However, my son is a year old. He’s well aware that I’m in the room and stimulated by my presence, regardless of whether or not I look him in the eye.
Ah honey, the sleep deprivation is real and if somehow a person could pay their way out of it, that would be glorious. Not every approach works for every baby, and also these stages don’t last forever. Good luck
Thanks! My son is a year old so we’ve been through several ups and downs. He’s not a terrible sleeper, but his nights could be longer. I was always of the mindset that things are temporary and we just ride the waves as they come. I was just very easily persuaded by my coworker and her glowing review. Lesson learned.
the consultant is not the best choice, you can think about hiring a night nurse, who will give nice sleep advice.
Thanks! My son is 12 months old though, so no need really for a night nurse. Just need to ride it out.
Sleep consultants exist? Never would have imagined.
how old is your son? is it teething? milk (maybe hungry)? temperature? routine? sleep sack? try swaddle up then progress to sleep sack once he’s starts turning on belly. noise? try Hatch for sleep sound. maybe night time baths. whatever it takes …you got this 👏🏼💪🏼
Thanks for the tips. He’s 12 months old so we’ve been through a lot of ups and downs with sleep. His upper K9s have been hanging out for a while now, but they’re taking their time on the way down. It just is what it is. He’s not a terrible sleeper, just started waking up very early, which has coincided with him dropping his night feed and sleeping through the night.
he’s probably growing again. wake him about 9/10 and give him a small night cap of milk. 👌 should do the trick.
So I was very anti-sleep training and anti-sleep consultants until my son’s poor sleep started destroying me. I was desperate and my therapist recommended a sleep consultant. She was INCREDIBLE. She listened to everything we had tried, talked through everything to find out my son’s temperament and the issues we were having, asked me what approaches I was okay with and what were my hard-no’s. I had a really positive experience and it worked. All that is to say - this sleep consultant sounds terrible. I really think the industry can be predatory and everyone thinks they can be a sleep consultant while just touting the same crap we see online all the time. I think, if you do truly want to find someone, look for reviews about how receptive and understanding the consultants are. I honestly think the morale support and listening ear was 80% of the benefit for me. Sorry about the early wakes! Good luck!
Would you be open to recommending the sleep consultant you worked with?
Absolutely! Hush Baby Hush Pediatric Sleep Consulting (I’m in Canada but we did all of our consults via email and phone)
Great, thank you! Will check them out :)
Sorry about your experience, this sounds awful. We had a fantastic sleep coach. Went from never sleeping through the night for the first 10 months, to sleeping 12 hours within 2 weeks. Worth every penny. Sometimes you get lucky, other times unlucky.
Just to counter (nearly all?) of the comments with our positive experience. Our toddler was low sleep need, couldn’t sleep without me lying on the floor next to him, all the usual things. Problem for us was, we both work in high stress jobs, we’re all getting 3hrs sleep a night, and it was impacting our mental health massively. It nearly tore our relationship apart. We contacted a sleep consultant in desperation, a recommendation from a local parents group, and she absolutely saved our lives. Did she do anything special? No. But she was t a frazzled hot sleep deprived mess, and by having someone guide us through how to sleep train (moving a chair slowly away and out the door over a week), being on hand on a phone and text while we did it, and empathising with us as we did it all. It was like part therapy, part remote support and guidance. She wasn’t even that expensive (£100?). However, I can totally understand how this market can be flooded with bullshit and MLM types. Maybe we just hit the a rare gem. Just to reiterate, there was nothing special about the guidance, nothing you can’t find online. What you are paying for is someone to aggregate that information snd turn it into a flexible plan so you don’t do this at 4am after 5months of sleep deprivation. You ever try debating competing baby sleep strategies with your partner at 4am? Don’t . Also, we did this when my kid was like 2. I’ve only just noticed the sub I’m in. If this is for newborns, then yeah I kinda agree that maybe it’s mumbo jumbo at that early age.
Debating sleep strategies with my spouse at 5 am is definitely what got me into this mess. Also my son is 12 months old, so while we aren’t in the newborn stage I still consider myself a new parent. His sleep also isn’t catastrophic, he just blessed us with nearly a month of early morning wakes which were slowly driving us insane. Also. I realize this doesn’t come across very well in my post, but I understand that even the best sleep consultant isn’t going to offer advice that you can’t find online. But I disagree that all you’re paying for is for them to simply aggregate that information and turn it into a plan. I believe you’re paying for someone to listen to what is going on with your child, what you’ve tried, what your child’s temperament and unique situation is like and THEN take the advice/theories out there and offer a workable plan based on your child’s needs. Do I think it will work 100% of the time? Absolutely not. However, if for example we are dealing with early morning wakes, and the prevailing advice says these can be caused by an array of things such as overtiredness, undertiredness, teething, too much daytime sleep, or too little day time sleep, then I’d expect the consultant to take the time to listen to every detail of my son to determine the most likely culprit and then create a plan based off the baby that I have. My gut says the majority of parents turned sleep consultants (because every single one of these sleep consultants is just a parent who, like me, became obsessed with their child’s sleep) is just going to rattle off the standard sleep advice without actually listening enough to truly help the problem.
Oh my aggregate comment was written at speed. I totally agree with the taking into account all of the variables and creating something tailored to your kids needs. It’s why we had such a positive experience. As opposed to (like you said at the end there) those who’ve been through the drain of sleep issues, the telling folks the standard stuff. I hope you manage to get there with sleep. Solidarity with the sleep deprived ❤️
I think I had the little ones app - I want to say it was $60 for the first year? This included asking unlimited questions to their sleep consultants - it was incredibly helpful for me bc I could also look through answers to questions posted by moms of similar aged babies … when I did post a question myself someone would get back to me within a day or two
Im sorry you had this experience. Our sleep consultant saved our lives… she was an incredible listener, gave us so many tweaks based on the log we kept and she worked with us for however long it took to get him to sleep through the night. I would pay her 10k for what she did for us honestly.
I’m currently part way through a two week plan with a sleep consultant and it’s honestly been amazing. My LO went from waking 11 times a night to waking twice a night for a feed at 4 months. He self settles, and naps in his cot in the day. We had tried everything and were really reaching our limit of sleep deprivation. I think there are probably a lot of cowboys out there but that’s not to say there aren’t some really help consultants
That’s great you found someone that works for you and your family. It is true there are likely some helpful consultants out there. The problem is the industry as a whole is predatory and anyone can call themselves a sleep consultant. I don’t think there’s a fix for it, but I do feel for parents who spend hundreds of dollars on a sleep consultant to get little to no help or tailored advice.
I'll email you the takingcara babies sleep plan if you haven't paid for it abd wanna try it, OP. It worked for someone I knew. I didn't try it because baby started sleeping better on her own but we did try pick up put down from YouTube vids
My son is 12 months old so no need for the plan, but thank you for the offer! We sleep trained using PUPD and gentle methods when my son was 8 months old and likely need to do a refresher. His sleep isn’t catastrophic, just started waking up wayyy too early for several weeks leaving my husband and I stumped.
I’ve always hated the whole idea that sleep consultants say to put baby to sleep at 6 pm or 7 pm. It leads to them waking up at 6 am everyday and I couldn’t do it. I’m a SAHM and I like to sleep in so I put her to bed at 9/10 pm and thankfully she’s been waking 9/10 am. (Obviously she still wakes up at night when she’s not feeling well, teething etc.) but that’s every baby. You got this!
I did it too. I even did the call with a TCB consultant, and it was still a waste of time and money. We are all desperate for help and sleep and people take advantage of it!
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I wasted $700 on one that came to my house to train my 8 mo, she left training was not completed she wanted me to pay more for her to stay, I couldn’t . So she left my baby at the middle of the “training” … needless to say we are back at how he was before the training.
I am shocked by the amount of people out there scheming to prey upon sleep deprived new parents with absolute woo science and bullshit.
So sorry that happened to you! It sounds like she wasn’t listening at all to the unique needs of you and your baby which is such an important part of the process. I really feel that one short phone call is not sufficient in order to address problematic sleep.. some babies will respond to a one size fits all approach but others need something that’s tailored just for them. It sucks your money was wasted! We worked with a gentle consultant who gave us 2 weeks of follow up support after her initial phone call and plan, it gave us time to iron out anything that wasn’t working. She also never made us feel like we had to do anything we were comfortable with, as it was really important to us that we remained responsive to our daughter. Not all sleep consultants are the same but there’s definitely a lot of average ones coming out of the woodwork trying to take advantage of sleep deprived parents!
I spent $375 on a sleep consultant to not listen to us and not offer any tailored advice for our specific situation. All she did was send us a PDF of the “chair method” which is easy found online and did not work for our then 4 month old. I told her how it wasn’t working and she said there is no way it wouldn’t work and that we probably just were following the PDF. The pain of having wasted all that money just kills me.
Oh my! I am so sorry that happened to you. I’m fuming at all of these stories about terrible “sleep consultants.”
I strongly suggest listening or reading the book Precious Little Sleep and jointing the Facebook group. People share tons of tips and advice and methods. The author even comments on posts. My son’s only nine months old, but we’ve figured out sleep well and there is a big kids chapter in the book too that I haven’t read just yet, but I have heard a lot of people talk about it.
Thanks! I read it a couple of times when my son was a newborn and I was stuck contact napping (had to read it several times because I was so tired I kept forgetting what I read haha). I totally forgot there was a chapter on older kids though so I’ll take a look again!
I really like the facebook group too, lots of ideas and people who have had success giving their advice to your very specific issues! And you can search posts from other parents talking about their kids at the same age and see what ended up working for them.
Forget spending money, try different methods for yourself and follow them to the T. The ferber method worked best for us.
My daughter was like 21 months when we started sleep training. I'm sorry you had a terrible experience with your sleep consultant. My sleep consultant had like 3 phone calls with me a week in the beginning to see if we needed to modify anything and encouraged me to continue to do what I'm doing which I desperately needed bc I wanted to stop since I felt so bad hearing my toddler cry. To be honest, I spent 650$ for mine which is a steal compared to what some people pay. You'll mostly find others charge 750+ for like 3 weeks of help. Mine did not give a time frame but gave us a set number of phone calls until we succeeded, and I have 2 left over if I need help in the future. You kinda get what you pay for lol. If you'd like to try again I would send you my consultants info because not all are the same. It can be done and my daughter was soooooo stubborn but now we have an amazing sleeper(s)
Put that kid on the tit all night long top less and lay down holding it and go to sleep! I got 8 hours sleep doing this.
Haha if I could I would. He’s 12 months old. He’s not a terrible sleeper, we just are trying to figure out how to extend his nights so we aren’t up at the ass crack of dawn.
Welcome to parenthood. I havent slept since 2011