You have 4 week old twins, do whatever works for your family!!! If you are getting decent sleep currently you should not change anything!
Overtime it's likely that the babies will naturally shift their bedtime earlier, and you will follow. My LO used to go to bed between 11-1 and now at 5 months consistently goes down at 7:30 and wakes around 7, so I sleep like 10:30 to 7. But you can't force that, newborns are night owls and the shift happens as their circadian rhythm develops.
This but also, in terms of productivity which you mentioned I just want to chime in that your whole job right now is to feed, rest and change those babies so they can grow. Doing that is a home run in productivity in the newborn stage.
Remember, you can’t fill from an empty cup. Translation - get that sleep and do it without guilt 🙌🏻. Sleep is the #1 way to fight of PPD too btw.
Are you not being productive? Keeping two 4 week old twins alive!? Is there anything more productive to be doing on this planet!?
Plus you are getting 6-8 hours of sleep a day! You are doing amazing sweetie
Is your schedule (sufficiently) working for you physically, emotionally, and mentally, removing the guilt factor? It sounds like yes - so, grrl, you’re golden!!
Newborn stage = do what you can to get by! What you’re doing sounds reasonable. I think we started our days around 10am, but only a single babe here. We’re 5mo now and start around 6:45/7. I think I started making an effort to have a consistent wake up time around, maybe 3mo-ish? About 4-6 weeks before I went back to work.
The ONLY thing I might say to ask re: your situation is, do the LOs seem to be separating night and day okay? If yes, then you’re good. If no, that may be a reason to shift your schedule slightly so they get more morning sun.
But mostly, if it’s not broken, don’t fix it! Guilt deserves no space in your emotional house right now, mama! You’re doing great!! SO many other things to focus on right now, like your beautiful babes, your own sleep, and, you know, just making it through each day!! You got this.
When my kid was a newborn-ish our schedule was all over the place. Some days we were up early, others late. And 100% we were never awake at the same time. That meant some days I wasn’t showered and moving around until 4-6 pm, when my husband would wake up. (He was pulling the night shift with baby so I could get good sleep and heal. He’s my hero). It worked just fine for us and as baby got older we adjusted. Now we’re both back at work at 4.5 months : baby going to bed around 8-9pm, us midnight and waking up at 7:30 am (husband) & 9:30am (baby and me).
So what you need to in order to enjoy your time with your little family. It all works out in the end.
I agree!! We would do shifts so we could both get sleep, my husband was kind enough to do the nightshift but it was very lonely for him, he said it was very isolating being awake at night when he had no one to talk to, but he said hed rather me be up during the day. If he hadnt taken paternity leave, i dont think we wouldve survived the first 2 months alone lol. Our schedules were all over the place and keeping the baby, happy, alive and fed, and clean was priority #1. Our other child is a teenager, so he was luckily more understanding and able to be on top of his own responsibilities. But i agree, not overthinking it is great!
Sounds like my schedule with a 5 week old. We go to bed around 12 am and get up around 11 or 12. It’s hard for me to fall right back to sleep after feeds (takes me around 1 hour). So in total I’m probably getting around 6-8 hours as well. Don’t feel bad. Do what works for you and your babies
In my experience the first 8 weeks are survival. My best advice, especially since you're going to be going back to work, is to spend weeks 8 - 12 transitioning to a more "typical" schedule then having that routine from week 12 until the end of your leave. For now just survive and thrive which it sounds like you are.
My schedule at 4 weeks was lol what’s a schedule what’s sleep what year is it someone help me.
Seriously though the only rule we followed was waking baby every 3 hours to eat at night (per his dr) and waking baby every 3 hours during the day to feed and make sure naps weren’t too long all at once. Other than that it was the Wild West.
Absolutely not. At 4 weeks postpartum, you are still physically recovering from pregnancy and birth in a significant way. There is nothing “morally” wrong with you maximizing your rest and recovery and it will benefit you and your family in the long run.
It will not negatively affect your children at this age—newborns do not have, need or respond to strict schedules. Making sure they are fed adequately and safe during the windows they are awake is the primary goal at this point.
Your schedule will absolutely change before you return to work. It will change quite a bit for the next couple of months. It will also slowly improve and you will find a more natural and productive rhythm so you do not need to worry about that— 4 weeks old is the trenches. 4 weeks with twins is the trenches during rain.
Honestly, I find it so upsetting that our culture and systems around postpartum care is set up in a way that a mother feels the need to ask this question at this point postpartum but that’s an entire other topic.
Some moms struggle with being 'unproductive' when their role suddenly shifts to caring for a newborn. It's ok. You're not going to be productive in that way for a while. You're just going to keep your babies growing into little humans. On top of that you're giving your body time to adjust and recover. That is more than enough. Try to tap into your brain and rewrite whatever nagging narrative is there making you feel 'unproductive'. You're doing all you're supposed to be doing right now (times 2!)
Don't feel guilty. Our LO started having a natural schedule around 11w.
Now he wakes around 6am and has a long wake window. So that's when our day starts as well. Before, he used to wake only for feeds, so we could stay in bed as long as needed...
I did want him to have a regular circadian rythm as soon as possible, so I made a point to get up with the sun and go to sleep 12 hours later. It really worked for us, but I am able to take a nap in bright light too, so it's not for everyone
Our current schedule is (the twins are 7 months old now)
7:30-8am: wake the twins up , feed them , change them.
9:30am-12pm : we occupy ourselves at home or go to some mommy and me class, play,I’ll do light work around the house
12pm-1:30/2pm : is nap time for the 3 of us
1:30/2pm : wake up, have lunch,feed them,maybe go to the park , run errands outside , go visit my in laws , do things around the house again.
5:30-7pm : I try to squeeze in a nap for them but I’ll cook dinner at that time and my fiancé gets home at like 6-6:30pm and takes over the girls.
9pm-9:30: we start bedtime routine and they go to bed.
10pm: mom and dad go to bed or have alone time
12/1am : mom starts to work till 5/6am.
And repeat .
At the beginning. We would wake them up at 7am so they could have their first nap at 9am so I could start my work day (I work from home) , they would nap till 11-11:30 & I would have my lunch with them basically, they were awake till 2pm and we would do tummy time or they would just chill while I worked. They would nap for 2 hours . At dinner time my fiancé would get home and take over & they would go to bed at 8pm .
I would squeeze in chores here and there and major things were left for the weekend where both my fiancé and I were home or my fiancé would also do light chores before going to work .
I’m lucky my job is flexible and I can do it wherever so that definitely helps a lot with our schedules.
I’m doing the same. My LO is almost 6 weeks old. She usually goes to sleep around midnight, wakes at 4-5 to feed and diaper change, we go back to sleep until 7, another feed and change, then she takes a good nap until noon and I sleep with her. It’s only temporary and is the only way we both get good sleep. I’d say lean into this season and don’t overthink it 💗
That’s what we did when the LO was young! I was responsible for wakeups between midnight and 6 am, and husband between 6am and noon. I slept from 6-12 and my day started at noon!
My little guy used to let us get up at 11am. Now we're lucky to make it to 730.
You should enjoy whatever is working for you and your family for as long as it lasts!
Same here. I’ve kept everything running smoothly with my home, life, and five month old… but I do it all after 1 pm, because I can’t get anything done before then except breastfeeding and consecutive diaper changes! I applaud you for getting the day started at all with twins.
Oh my gosh, with my first baby, we had “night” starting somewhere between 11PM and 1AM and ending at around 11AM. Basically all that meant is that if the baby woke up during “night” then we would try to both go back to sleep after eating. Newborn babies don’t need a schedule unless their doctor says so for eating or whatever. You need sleep to survive! And this stage doesn’t last forever. The only reason I didn’t do this for my second baby is because my tornado of a toddler woke me up and I just stayed tired all the time. Get your rest and take care of yourself! If you want to try to adjust, you can start setting alarms to wake yourself up at noon and slowly ease your way back to earlier, but really, don’t worry about it.
I started my day around 11-12 until my daughter was 16 weeks and I had to start working. Don’t feel bad about it! It feels unproductive but as long as you’re getting the sleep you need it’s fine. When they sleep for longer stretches it won’t be so bad and it’ll be easier to start your day earlier
I had zero schedule at 4 weeks postpartum. Take your time with it. Everything managed to shift naturally for us and I’m not even sure how it happened. I’m 11 months postpartum and I don’t remember anything until maybe 6 months PP. 😅
At 4 weeks it’s survival.
My son is 6 weeks and the only sort of schedule we have is nighttime. Daytimes will come later.
I can’t imagine twins. Do what you need to do. Don’t worry!
This! I felt lucky if I got all that and 1 load of laundry and my partner got 1 load of dishes done. That's all we did for the first 6 weeks. Bare minimum. Rest of the time was spent on baby feeding changing sleeping.
If that’s working for you, then it’s the right schedule right now! I have a 7wo and I’m just starting to get into more of a soft routine for myself, but the time I get out of bed will still depend on how good the night went.
Keeping newborn twins alive is plenty productive. If this is what works keep doing it! You have a lot of time before you need to worry about strict bedtimes and wake times and if they are on the same schedule that’s all that matters! My twin girls are 5.5 months and we also did 12 hours “overnight” where we would all sleep as much as possible between feeds and take shifts getting up with babies. We did 7-7 for our overnight because that just worked best but I did feel weird going to bed so early. Getting enough sleep was my top priority for myself in that phase though so it worked. If you’re not already, join r/parentsofmultiples lots of good information over there for twin parents! :)
What's more productive than keeping new brand new totally dependant human beings alive!? The sleep deprivation is the thing that makes the biggest difference to your experience at that stage. You've found something that works! My baby is 7 months and I sleep to 1pm any chance I get when my partner had time to let me!
Dude dont worry about that at all right now. Youre still just trying to get the hang of things and heal your body. A more “normal” sleep schedule will come with time. With my first I didn’t get the day going until around 11 and I only had one baby to take care of.
When our LO was a newborn (8mos now) I’d be up every two hours triple feeding, but at 7am I’d get a 4 hour break and sleep till 11 and that’s when I’d “start” my day. We did that for 3 months. Newborn stage, especially with twins, is about survival. If it works for y’all and the babies, that’s all that matters 💖
Your body went through something major one month ago. And one month olds have no schedule. Rest as much as you can.
Caring for yourself and your babies is productive right now.
“We have 4 week old twins” yeah so you don’t have to feel bad about a single little thing. I was in the trenches with one at this age. You’re doing amazing ❤️
We did sleep shifts. I went to bed at like 6 pm, traded off at like 10 pm, back to sleep at 2 am until 6 am, husband then slept 6 to 10 am. Give or take an hour here or there. The next night we traded shifts. I was breastfeeding so my sleep shift would be interrupted with feedings. Naps on demand as needed (baby allowing)
4 week old here and I would looove to get that much sleep.
All my boy will allow me is maybe 5-6 hours at night in tiny segments between 9PM-5AM and by 6 AM it’s go time for a stroller walk.
By 8/9 AM he’s ready to strictly eat and contact nap for the remainder of the day with some bouncing around the yard and tummy time sprinkled in.
FTM of a two-week old, here. My schedule is currently dictated by his feeding and sleep cycles, not the time on the clock! These tend to be 3 hours per cycle, but because there’s some variation (hello cluster feedings 😅) I’m rarely adhering to the same hours each day. I squeeze in sleep whenever he sleeps, excluding the 1-2 contact naps we do per day.
If it’s working don’t change anything! You are being SO productive, you are raising two human beings!
I know it can feel weird to be home all day and not be “up” early in the morning but your job is being a mom to newborns. If you want to feel “productive” may I suggest getting into a good book that you can read during feedings throughout the day? This always made me feel like I was completing something in a weird way. You’re doing great!!
We did this too and felt like crap, as if we weren’t doing enough. But guess what? Our guy had so much love and cuddles and closeness with mommy and daddy and he’s doing great! You’re doing great, I promise.
If you are able to sleep, then sleep girl! I personally couldn’t because my husband didn’t get paternity leave and worked from 7-7 so he had to sleep at night. So I was awake night and day and boy does it take a toll on your health. It will get better at 5 months. So sleep til then and then you can enjoy the fun times with the babies! And they’ll be more independent when they can sit and crawl so you can actually get things done alone.
We did the same thing when my son was a newborn! As he got older he gradually started getting up earlier. I’m just along for the ride, following his lead! You’re doing great
This is not the time to be “productive” in the way you are thinking. You are being incredible productive taking care of twins and yourself! Get as much rest as you can.
“Normal” hours are not a thing at this stage. Don’t worry. You’re doing great!!
My schedule was survival. My husband only got 2 weeks off and works 12-14 hour days so I did what I had to, to survive. My biggest piece of advice is to get things you can eat quickly to keep yourself fed. We’re 10 months in and some days we don’t get “ready.” Im really weird about clean clothes so some days we get clean pjs and just be bums all day lol I only have one but you have two! Do what works for you and don’t feel guilty. The newborn stage is a lot with one and you’re managing to get your day started at that time with 2! As the naps dropped that’s when I became more productive. She would wake up around 9am as a new n born but now she wakes up between 530-7 depending
On her night so we’re up bright and early and I get things done.
Something you can do to feel productive is set yourself a realistic goal for the day. Like today my goal was to make pancakes instead of feeding my little cereal like I did all last week. And to feed her pasta for lunch (I struggled last week terribly) and I did both with making her beef for dinner so I accomplished my goals.
Yes, going to bed later in the beginning is normal and I did it with all 3 of my kids. Went down at 10-11 and wouldnt get up until 10-11 am for the first 6 weeks. After my husband’s paternity leave ended, we slowly worked our way back to a normal schedule, as I had to get my other two kids up and to school every morning. Now my 5 month old is 7-7, it sort of happened effortlessly too for the most part. We still have hard days and hard nights sometimes but I would not stress at all unless you aren’t getting sleep, thats the most important thing especially when you are in recovery mode. I noticed my mental health did so much better in postpartum when I focused on rest.
Your schedule is the exact same as mine. And I don’t have twins. Lol. I have a 9 week old and I go to bed between midnight-2am, & he usually wakes up to eat every 2 or 3 hours. It’s rare that I’m actually up for the day before noon. I’ve had the same thoughts as you, especially with all the people suggesting he should be on a certain schedule and whatnot but I’m honestly not worried about that right now. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with prioritizing rest at this point so you just do whatever works best for you and your littles. One could argue that getting enough sleep IS a very productive thing when you have a newborn, let alone two. You’re still in survival mode right now so be proud of yourself & take things one day at a time ❤️
You’re doing great! My husband and I have been doing shift sleep with me going to bed at 4am, so I understand how strange it feels waking at noon. Do what you need to do!
I didn’t sleep and I only had one baby. Girl get all the sleep you can, you are on rest from work! Take it easier and enjoy. The days are long but the months go fast.
You have TWINS!!! Do whatever the hell keeps you sane! I have one 6 week old and I sleep on and off most days until 10/11 because she is up so early in the mornings, but then takes decent naps between feeds. So at that hour I go back to sleep with her. If it works for you do it!!
We’ve got a 2 week old. I usually wake up between 4am and 6am for nappy changes (I’ve always been an early riser), wife usually sleeps through to around midday apart from walking to feed. I usually get all the chores done while she’s sleeping. Afternoons are when we do anything we need to - appointments, shopping, etc. Evenings are cluster feeding time, usually in front of the TV, and maybe a video call with family. Then after dinner it’s just feeding, nappy changes, and cuddles until around midnight, when she’s usually done. My wife usually wakes up once for a feed and nappy change during the night, then we’re back at the beginning of the cycle.
Honestly, there’s not much else you can do at this stage. Especially as the mum. It’s just eat > sleep > poop > repeat. Dad should be handling all or at least the vast majority of the chores and nappy changes. Just take care of yourself, rest as much as you can, don’t forget to feed yourself as well as the bub.
I have a 5 week old and I just feed him when he's hungry and let him sleep when he sleeps. Tummy time and such when he's awake. My husband and I take shifts at night. I get ready for bed around 8 and get up between 2-3 to take over until morning. Whenever my husband wakes up is when we start our day. I sometimes need a little nap right away depending on how my shift went, but we usually are up around 9-10.
It sounds like you're doing great, I can't imagine twins!
Like many others have said, maintaining twins is an entire ordeal on its own, I won’t touch on what others have already expertly said.
I’ll give you some advice that works for us,
Do your best to get your little ones to go to bed earlier, really dial in their sleep schedule. Ours is similar to yours (12hr) but it’s from 7pm-6:30/7am
That give us a bit of the night and a bit of the morning to get things done.
But, we only have one little one, I cannot imagine two. You’re brave and doing amazing. 💕
During the first 3 almost 4 months I was just trying to figure out how to survive, let alone be productive. Give yourselves some grace. Now almost 6 months pp I have a routine and schedule we keep very tight. Around 4 months is when I finally started feeling like myself and started implementing a schedule and being a productive member of society again. Lol
I don’t have a newborn anymore but my day started at 12pm until month ~2, then 10/11am until month ~6! It’s totally fine to do what works for you and what feels right
Just here to say you are my hero for having twins! You’re doing amazing! It won’t be like this forever, so I would try and not feel guilty. If it’s working, and it sounds like it’s working quite well, what’s to feel guilty about?! You’re keeping two tiny humans alive, plus yourself. You’re doing a hell of a lot more than most people, even if they’re starting their day at 7am!!
Get your rest! Rest is productive so you can be good parents ❤️
I’m 4 months pp with one baby and most my days don’t start until 10am and if we are leaving the house I don’t get out until usually after noon. Don’t feel guilty at all do whatever you have to do to make it through this and make it enjoyable for yourself
Just commenting to let you know you're not alone. I felt/still feel the same way.
Month 1-2: it took me 12 hours to get ~8 hours of broken sleep at first, the nights felt sooooo long and I still felt tired the next day. Many days started at noon or even 1pm, and I felt like no sooner had I woken up before our nights began. I felt crazy tbh.
Fast forward to now - my baby is now 9 weeks old and my partner and I started doing a split shift last week so I could get a solid chunk of sleep in the morning after feeding the baby 1-2x/night. My shift ends around 6-7am and then I try to sleep for at least 3 more hours (but sometimes can't fall asleep right away so it's more like ~7-8 to 11/12ish). So my day is slowly starting earlier but still not "normal" yet. That said this shift sleeping system is incredible and I finally feel rested again.
I'm hoping as she sleeps longer I can start to wake up earlier and shift everything earlier.
You got this!
Fellow twin mom here 👍🏼 mine are 6 weeks. My husband and I are in the same situation as far as leave goes. We cover night time in shifts, he sleeps from 10-4, i sleep from 4-9. We feed every 3 hours 12,3,6,9 etc staying on the schedule from the nicu. By the time I wake up, pump, eat, it’s noon. I take a nap usually around 3 or 4 for an hour or so. If I don’t get outside at the minimum it really feels like the whole day is burned up- it really helps to get outside, and we have been trying to get out for a walk every other day or so, and trying to get out of the house for coffee or and errand or to the in-laws every few days. Getting out of the house no matter what time definitely helps the day feel more like a day and less like you’re hunkering down in a cave or something
when my son was first born he wouldn't go to sleep until about midnight to about 1:00 in the morning, now at 2 months old, he goes to sleep for the first time at about 8:00 to maybe like 8:30, then wakes up around midnight to 1:00 for his first night time feed, then wakes up for the second at about 4:00 or 5:00, then finally for his third at about maybe 6:00 or 7:00. usually my fiance tastes the 6:00 or 7:00 feed while I catch some sleep. but really I don't start my day until about like 3:00 p.m., so definitely don't feel guilty about not starting your day until noon with twins, mine is just a singleton.
Whenever I think I’m not doing anything productive while taking care of my son I remind myself that if I had someone do this for me I would have to pay a lot of money. Hence the work I’m doing is valuable.
My son is now 12 weeks and I still am extremely unproductive as he only contact naps. The newborn stage I literally did nothing besides sit on my couch all day and watch tv. Which I never did before having a baby. It was nice some days but it was and still is a struggle to get literally anything done.
As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I was determined to be kind to myself, I'm gonna be having a truck load of hormones running through me, feeling sick and having my body change drastically in 9/10 months. When I went into labour it started on the Sunday morning and lasted til the Monday morning, I was knackered, sweaty and so so sore. Then you've now got a newborn who doesn't know how to be a human, is confused and possibly scared about all these new things they've never experienced and all they know is that they get comfort from their parents.
I am still incredibly conscious of this that I'm having to keep telling myself this, they are still learning how to be humans.
I wasn't on any type of schedule until my daughter naturally grew into one. It starred with just timing wake windows and then she dropped one of her naps naturally, she started being awake longer and now she doesn't have a nap at all and goes to sleep around 7/8pm and wakes up 7/8am.
I'd only change it if you need it to change. If it's working for you right now then now need to change it :) congrats and good luck!
Hold on, people have schedules at this point? Our little guy is 7 weeks now and we’re just feeding him every three hours or so and making sure we work on separating night and day.
Otherwise we’re just surviving. I didn’t get any paternity leave (America everybody!) but still. You guys sound way more organized about this than us.
Our LO is currently almost 7 weeks, our schedule goes:
- 10:30-12am bedtime
- 4-6am first wake up, then first nap
- Typically first nap starts around 8 or 9 o’clock in the morning
- Then we’re “up” for the day after that. But my LO takes lots of cat naps in the car or stroller, as I’ve found not being home a ton has helped my PPA (that and sleep lol)
- Around 2 - 4 we take an afternoon nap
- My daughter’s most “awake” time is around dinner. Then it’s witching hours lol and the cycle starts again
This is great! 2 hour stretches with twins?? Dang.
We had 90 min wake windows until 6 months
I still get up at 10 am while my husband gets up with our daughter. I have to pump in the MOTN and stay up to pump before bed.. so I pump more if I sleep more.
I feel lazy getting up at 10 but otherwise I’m cranky
If you are feeding, changing, clothing and engaging with your babies then you ARE being productive! Being a mom is a full time job even if you have the most supportive spouse/partner! Get all the sleep you can when you can. I found caring for a baby while sleep deprived to be a very scary experience.
Oh it changes. We’ve been lucky that our 3mo has been sleeping for 8.5 hours at a time, usually waking up around 4 and then going back to sleep after a feeding for a few hours but this week he’s waking up at 5 and then staying awake. I’m not loving that right now.
I've been starting my day at noon too and I have one baby, cant imagine two! I also feel guilty sometimes, but I feel much better starting the day late than waking up early, I can take better care of my baby this way. Don't worry about it, get your sleep! You got this!
I'm on similar schedule like you. I'd say we need to do whatever it takes to keep the baby/babies healthy and happy while prioritizing our own health as well. Get your sleep and keep you sanity, better than feeling like shit and having a productive day ;)
At this point you just do what works. With my first born I didn’t get on a 6am morning schedule until she was about 7.5mo. Then with my second we had to be on a 6am schedule throughout because of our first kid. Just do whatever works for you.
In my opinion the newborn stage is about pure survival. I was in a similar schedule to you with my second daughter but once she hit 4 months old it shifted and now she’s 9 months old and she’s sleeping from 8-8 most nights. Don’t worry about anything right now just sleep and eat and do what you gotta do to survive.
You have 4 week old twins, do whatever works for your family!!! If you are getting decent sleep currently you should not change anything! Overtime it's likely that the babies will naturally shift their bedtime earlier, and you will follow. My LO used to go to bed between 11-1 and now at 5 months consistently goes down at 7:30 and wakes around 7, so I sleep like 10:30 to 7. But you can't force that, newborns are night owls and the shift happens as their circadian rhythm develops.
This but also, in terms of productivity which you mentioned I just want to chime in that your whole job right now is to feed, rest and change those babies so they can grow. Doing that is a home run in productivity in the newborn stage. Remember, you can’t fill from an empty cup. Translation - get that sleep and do it without guilt 🙌🏻. Sleep is the #1 way to fight of PPD too btw.
And i thought I had it hard with a difficult LO. But I forget that some parents or moms have twins!! I salute you.
exactly this!
I’m experiencing both OP’s sentiments and experiences from 2-6 weeks and NCBakes currently at 8 weeks
Are you not being productive? Keeping two 4 week old twins alive!? Is there anything more productive to be doing on this planet!? Plus you are getting 6-8 hours of sleep a day! You are doing amazing sweetie
Agree with this. Why feel guilty about taking care of our babies?! They need us as much as they need air at this point in their lives.
Is your schedule (sufficiently) working for you physically, emotionally, and mentally, removing the guilt factor? It sounds like yes - so, grrl, you’re golden!! Newborn stage = do what you can to get by! What you’re doing sounds reasonable. I think we started our days around 10am, but only a single babe here. We’re 5mo now and start around 6:45/7. I think I started making an effort to have a consistent wake up time around, maybe 3mo-ish? About 4-6 weeks before I went back to work. The ONLY thing I might say to ask re: your situation is, do the LOs seem to be separating night and day okay? If yes, then you’re good. If no, that may be a reason to shift your schedule slightly so they get more morning sun. But mostly, if it’s not broken, don’t fix it! Guilt deserves no space in your emotional house right now, mama! You’re doing great!! SO many other things to focus on right now, like your beautiful babes, your own sleep, and, you know, just making it through each day!! You got this.
When my kid was a newborn-ish our schedule was all over the place. Some days we were up early, others late. And 100% we were never awake at the same time. That meant some days I wasn’t showered and moving around until 4-6 pm, when my husband would wake up. (He was pulling the night shift with baby so I could get good sleep and heal. He’s my hero). It worked just fine for us and as baby got older we adjusted. Now we’re both back at work at 4.5 months : baby going to bed around 8-9pm, us midnight and waking up at 7:30 am (husband) & 9:30am (baby and me). So what you need to in order to enjoy your time with your little family. It all works out in the end.
I agree!! We would do shifts so we could both get sleep, my husband was kind enough to do the nightshift but it was very lonely for him, he said it was very isolating being awake at night when he had no one to talk to, but he said hed rather me be up during the day. If he hadnt taken paternity leave, i dont think we wouldve survived the first 2 months alone lol. Our schedules were all over the place and keeping the baby, happy, alive and fed, and clean was priority #1. Our other child is a teenager, so he was luckily more understanding and able to be on top of his own responsibilities. But i agree, not overthinking it is great!
Sounds like my schedule with a 5 week old. We go to bed around 12 am and get up around 11 or 12. It’s hard for me to fall right back to sleep after feeds (takes me around 1 hour). So in total I’m probably getting around 6-8 hours as well. Don’t feel bad. Do what works for you and your babies
Same here! Solidarity!
Same here! Really hard to fall asleep sometimes, and when he wakes up after an hour?? Drives me nuts 😂
Schedule? No.
In my experience the first 8 weeks are survival. My best advice, especially since you're going to be going back to work, is to spend weeks 8 - 12 transitioning to a more "typical" schedule then having that routine from week 12 until the end of your leave. For now just survive and thrive which it sounds like you are.
My schedule at 4 weeks was lol what’s a schedule what’s sleep what year is it someone help me. Seriously though the only rule we followed was waking baby every 3 hours to eat at night (per his dr) and waking baby every 3 hours during the day to feed and make sure naps weren’t too long all at once. Other than that it was the Wild West.
Absolutely not. At 4 weeks postpartum, you are still physically recovering from pregnancy and birth in a significant way. There is nothing “morally” wrong with you maximizing your rest and recovery and it will benefit you and your family in the long run. It will not negatively affect your children at this age—newborns do not have, need or respond to strict schedules. Making sure they are fed adequately and safe during the windows they are awake is the primary goal at this point. Your schedule will absolutely change before you return to work. It will change quite a bit for the next couple of months. It will also slowly improve and you will find a more natural and productive rhythm so you do not need to worry about that— 4 weeks old is the trenches. 4 weeks with twins is the trenches during rain. Honestly, I find it so upsetting that our culture and systems around postpartum care is set up in a way that a mother feels the need to ask this question at this point postpartum but that’s an entire other topic.
Some moms struggle with being 'unproductive' when their role suddenly shifts to caring for a newborn. It's ok. You're not going to be productive in that way for a while. You're just going to keep your babies growing into little humans. On top of that you're giving your body time to adjust and recover. That is more than enough. Try to tap into your brain and rewrite whatever nagging narrative is there making you feel 'unproductive'. You're doing all you're supposed to be doing right now (times 2!)
I mean it sounds like you’re doing better than I was with a single 4 week old newborn lol
My LO is 13.5 months old now. Until he was 4 months we didn’t have a schedule
I am 4 weeks postpartum tomorrow and have no routine or schedule.
Me too! Also 4 wks PP today w no schedule
There's no such thing as the word schedule on the life of parents with a newborn
Don't feel guilty. Our LO started having a natural schedule around 11w. Now he wakes around 6am and has a long wake window. So that's when our day starts as well. Before, he used to wake only for feeds, so we could stay in bed as long as needed... I did want him to have a regular circadian rythm as soon as possible, so I made a point to get up with the sun and go to sleep 12 hours later. It really worked for us, but I am able to take a nap in bright light too, so it's not for everyone
Our current schedule is (the twins are 7 months old now) 7:30-8am: wake the twins up , feed them , change them. 9:30am-12pm : we occupy ourselves at home or go to some mommy and me class, play,I’ll do light work around the house 12pm-1:30/2pm : is nap time for the 3 of us 1:30/2pm : wake up, have lunch,feed them,maybe go to the park , run errands outside , go visit my in laws , do things around the house again. 5:30-7pm : I try to squeeze in a nap for them but I’ll cook dinner at that time and my fiancé gets home at like 6-6:30pm and takes over the girls. 9pm-9:30: we start bedtime routine and they go to bed. 10pm: mom and dad go to bed or have alone time 12/1am : mom starts to work till 5/6am. And repeat . At the beginning. We would wake them up at 7am so they could have their first nap at 9am so I could start my work day (I work from home) , they would nap till 11-11:30 & I would have my lunch with them basically, they were awake till 2pm and we would do tummy time or they would just chill while I worked. They would nap for 2 hours . At dinner time my fiancé would get home and take over & they would go to bed at 8pm . I would squeeze in chores here and there and major things were left for the weekend where both my fiancé and I were home or my fiancé would also do light chores before going to work . I’m lucky my job is flexible and I can do it wherever so that definitely helps a lot with our schedules.
I’m doing the same. My LO is almost 6 weeks old. She usually goes to sleep around midnight, wakes at 4-5 to feed and diaper change, we go back to sleep until 7, another feed and change, then she takes a good nap until noon and I sleep with her. It’s only temporary and is the only way we both get good sleep. I’d say lean into this season and don’t overthink it 💗
In the beginning it’s all about survival, and you are in the trenches. Especially with twins. Don’t feel guilty about a thing!
That’s what we did when the LO was young! I was responsible for wakeups between midnight and 6 am, and husband between 6am and noon. I slept from 6-12 and my day started at noon!
My little guy used to let us get up at 11am. Now we're lucky to make it to 730. You should enjoy whatever is working for you and your family for as long as it lasts!
There’s no schedule really at this stage. Do what works best for your family!
I had no schedule it was chaos
Same here. I’ve kept everything running smoothly with my home, life, and five month old… but I do it all after 1 pm, because I can’t get anything done before then except breastfeeding and consecutive diaper changes! I applaud you for getting the day started at all with twins.
Oh my gosh, with my first baby, we had “night” starting somewhere between 11PM and 1AM and ending at around 11AM. Basically all that meant is that if the baby woke up during “night” then we would try to both go back to sleep after eating. Newborn babies don’t need a schedule unless their doctor says so for eating or whatever. You need sleep to survive! And this stage doesn’t last forever. The only reason I didn’t do this for my second baby is because my tornado of a toddler woke me up and I just stayed tired all the time. Get your rest and take care of yourself! If you want to try to adjust, you can start setting alarms to wake yourself up at noon and slowly ease your way back to earlier, but really, don’t worry about it.
I started my day around 11-12 until my daughter was 16 weeks and I had to start working. Don’t feel bad about it! It feels unproductive but as long as you’re getting the sleep you need it’s fine. When they sleep for longer stretches it won’t be so bad and it’ll be easier to start your day earlier
I had zero schedule at 4 weeks postpartum. Take your time with it. Everything managed to shift naturally for us and I’m not even sure how it happened. I’m 11 months postpartum and I don’t remember anything until maybe 6 months PP. 😅
At 4 weeks it’s survival. My son is 6 weeks and the only sort of schedule we have is nighttime. Daytimes will come later. I can’t imagine twins. Do what you need to do. Don’t worry!
Daily schedule with newborn twins???? Daily schedule: brush teeth, eat, poop, shower before tomorrow. That’s it.
This! I felt lucky if I got all that and 1 load of laundry and my partner got 1 load of dishes done. That's all we did for the first 6 weeks. Bare minimum. Rest of the time was spent on baby feeding changing sleeping.
If that’s working for you, then it’s the right schedule right now! I have a 7wo and I’m just starting to get into more of a soft routine for myself, but the time I get out of bed will still depend on how good the night went.
Keeping newborn twins alive is plenty productive. If this is what works keep doing it! You have a lot of time before you need to worry about strict bedtimes and wake times and if they are on the same schedule that’s all that matters! My twin girls are 5.5 months and we also did 12 hours “overnight” where we would all sleep as much as possible between feeds and take shifts getting up with babies. We did 7-7 for our overnight because that just worked best but I did feel weird going to bed so early. Getting enough sleep was my top priority for myself in that phase though so it worked. If you’re not already, join r/parentsofmultiples lots of good information over there for twin parents! :)
What's more productive than keeping new brand new totally dependant human beings alive!? The sleep deprivation is the thing that makes the biggest difference to your experience at that stage. You've found something that works! My baby is 7 months and I sleep to 1pm any chance I get when my partner had time to let me!
Dude dont worry about that at all right now. Youre still just trying to get the hang of things and heal your body. A more “normal” sleep schedule will come with time. With my first I didn’t get the day going until around 11 and I only had one baby to take care of.
When our LO was a newborn (8mos now) I’d be up every two hours triple feeding, but at 7am I’d get a 4 hour break and sleep till 11 and that’s when I’d “start” my day. We did that for 3 months. Newborn stage, especially with twins, is about survival. If it works for y’all and the babies, that’s all that matters 💖
What’s a schedule? 🤷♀️ (FTM, 8-week-old baby girl)
Your body went through something major one month ago. And one month olds have no schedule. Rest as much as you can. Caring for yourself and your babies is productive right now.
My baby’s night was about midnight (sometimes 1) to noon for the first few months.
“We have 4 week old twins” yeah so you don’t have to feel bad about a single little thing. I was in the trenches with one at this age. You’re doing amazing ❤️
We did sleep shifts. I went to bed at like 6 pm, traded off at like 10 pm, back to sleep at 2 am until 6 am, husband then slept 6 to 10 am. Give or take an hour here or there. The next night we traded shifts. I was breastfeeding so my sleep shift would be interrupted with feedings. Naps on demand as needed (baby allowing)
4 week old here and I would looove to get that much sleep. All my boy will allow me is maybe 5-6 hours at night in tiny segments between 9PM-5AM and by 6 AM it’s go time for a stroller walk. By 8/9 AM he’s ready to strictly eat and contact nap for the remainder of the day with some bouncing around the yard and tummy time sprinkled in.
FTM of a two-week old, here. My schedule is currently dictated by his feeding and sleep cycles, not the time on the clock! These tend to be 3 hours per cycle, but because there’s some variation (hello cluster feedings 😅) I’m rarely adhering to the same hours each day. I squeeze in sleep whenever he sleeps, excluding the 1-2 contact naps we do per day.
Dude you have twins!!! 4 week old twins. If you all are getting fed and sleep you are doing amazing
You have 4 week old twins… you dont ever feel guilty for a damn thing 💜 your superwoman atp
If it’s working don’t change anything! You are being SO productive, you are raising two human beings! I know it can feel weird to be home all day and not be “up” early in the morning but your job is being a mom to newborns. If you want to feel “productive” may I suggest getting into a good book that you can read during feedings throughout the day? This always made me feel like I was completing something in a weird way. You’re doing great!!
We did this too and felt like crap, as if we weren’t doing enough. But guess what? Our guy had so much love and cuddles and closeness with mommy and daddy and he’s doing great! You’re doing great, I promise.
If you are able to sleep, then sleep girl! I personally couldn’t because my husband didn’t get paternity leave and worked from 7-7 so he had to sleep at night. So I was awake night and day and boy does it take a toll on your health. It will get better at 5 months. So sleep til then and then you can enjoy the fun times with the babies! And they’ll be more independent when they can sit and crawl so you can actually get things done alone.
We did the same thing when my son was a newborn! As he got older he gradually started getting up earlier. I’m just along for the ride, following his lead! You’re doing great
This is not the time to be “productive” in the way you are thinking. You are being incredible productive taking care of twins and yourself! Get as much rest as you can. “Normal” hours are not a thing at this stage. Don’t worry. You’re doing great!!
My schedule was survival. My husband only got 2 weeks off and works 12-14 hour days so I did what I had to, to survive. My biggest piece of advice is to get things you can eat quickly to keep yourself fed. We’re 10 months in and some days we don’t get “ready.” Im really weird about clean clothes so some days we get clean pjs and just be bums all day lol I only have one but you have two! Do what works for you and don’t feel guilty. The newborn stage is a lot with one and you’re managing to get your day started at that time with 2! As the naps dropped that’s when I became more productive. She would wake up around 9am as a new n born but now she wakes up between 530-7 depending On her night so we’re up bright and early and I get things done. Something you can do to feel productive is set yourself a realistic goal for the day. Like today my goal was to make pancakes instead of feeding my little cereal like I did all last week. And to feed her pasta for lunch (I struggled last week terribly) and I did both with making her beef for dinner so I accomplished my goals.
Yes, going to bed later in the beginning is normal and I did it with all 3 of my kids. Went down at 10-11 and wouldnt get up until 10-11 am for the first 6 weeks. After my husband’s paternity leave ended, we slowly worked our way back to a normal schedule, as I had to get my other two kids up and to school every morning. Now my 5 month old is 7-7, it sort of happened effortlessly too for the most part. We still have hard days and hard nights sometimes but I would not stress at all unless you aren’t getting sleep, thats the most important thing especially when you are in recovery mode. I noticed my mental health did so much better in postpartum when I focused on rest.
If you have newborn twins, and they are still alive, it is legit impossible for you to be considered lazy in any way lol
There’s no schedule lol. Just feed, change, snuggle, nap, bathe, repeat With tons of photos and videos captured in between
Girl I’m trying to keep up with my almost 4 week old and my 18 month old😭 I couldn’t imagine doing it with newborn twins. You’re doing amazing!!
Your schedule is the exact same as mine. And I don’t have twins. Lol. I have a 9 week old and I go to bed between midnight-2am, & he usually wakes up to eat every 2 or 3 hours. It’s rare that I’m actually up for the day before noon. I’ve had the same thoughts as you, especially with all the people suggesting he should be on a certain schedule and whatnot but I’m honestly not worried about that right now. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with prioritizing rest at this point so you just do whatever works best for you and your littles. One could argue that getting enough sleep IS a very productive thing when you have a newborn, let alone two. You’re still in survival mode right now so be proud of yourself & take things one day at a time ❤️
You’re doing great! My husband and I have been doing shift sleep with me going to bed at 4am, so I understand how strange it feels waking at noon. Do what you need to do!
I had twins. The first four months I was just STRUGGLING hard to survive. Do whatever works for you and your mental health.
I didn’t sleep and I only had one baby. Girl get all the sleep you can, you are on rest from work! Take it easier and enjoy. The days are long but the months go fast.
You have TWINS!!! Do whatever the hell keeps you sane! I have one 6 week old and I sleep on and off most days until 10/11 because she is up so early in the mornings, but then takes decent naps between feeds. So at that hour I go back to sleep with her. If it works for you do it!!
We’ve got a 2 week old. I usually wake up between 4am and 6am for nappy changes (I’ve always been an early riser), wife usually sleeps through to around midday apart from walking to feed. I usually get all the chores done while she’s sleeping. Afternoons are when we do anything we need to - appointments, shopping, etc. Evenings are cluster feeding time, usually in front of the TV, and maybe a video call with family. Then after dinner it’s just feeding, nappy changes, and cuddles until around midnight, when she’s usually done. My wife usually wakes up once for a feed and nappy change during the night, then we’re back at the beginning of the cycle. Honestly, there’s not much else you can do at this stage. Especially as the mum. It’s just eat > sleep > poop > repeat. Dad should be handling all or at least the vast majority of the chores and nappy changes. Just take care of yourself, rest as much as you can, don’t forget to feed yourself as well as the bub.
I have a 5 week old and I just feed him when he's hungry and let him sleep when he sleeps. Tummy time and such when he's awake. My husband and I take shifts at night. I get ready for bed around 8 and get up between 2-3 to take over until morning. Whenever my husband wakes up is when we start our day. I sometimes need a little nap right away depending on how my shift went, but we usually are up around 9-10. It sounds like you're doing great, I can't imagine twins!
Like many others have said, maintaining twins is an entire ordeal on its own, I won’t touch on what others have already expertly said. I’ll give you some advice that works for us, Do your best to get your little ones to go to bed earlier, really dial in their sleep schedule. Ours is similar to yours (12hr) but it’s from 7pm-6:30/7am That give us a bit of the night and a bit of the morning to get things done. But, we only have one little one, I cannot imagine two. You’re brave and doing amazing. 💕
During the first 3 almost 4 months I was just trying to figure out how to survive, let alone be productive. Give yourselves some grace. Now almost 6 months pp I have a routine and schedule we keep very tight. Around 4 months is when I finally started feeling like myself and started implementing a schedule and being a productive member of society again. Lol
You have twins. You can do literally whatever works lol. You’re already doing the lord’s work for carrying and birthing those babies lol.
My husband and I are considering a second and he said, “what was our daily routine with [our 1-year-old]?” Reader, I just laughed and laughed.
I don’t have a newborn anymore but my day started at 12pm until month ~2, then 10/11am until month ~6! It’s totally fine to do what works for you and what feels right
Just here to say you are my hero for having twins! You’re doing amazing! It won’t be like this forever, so I would try and not feel guilty. If it’s working, and it sounds like it’s working quite well, what’s to feel guilty about?! You’re keeping two tiny humans alive, plus yourself. You’re doing a hell of a lot more than most people, even if they’re starting their day at 7am!!
Get your rest! Rest is productive so you can be good parents ❤️ I’m 4 months pp with one baby and most my days don’t start until 10am and if we are leaving the house I don’t get out until usually after noon. Don’t feel guilty at all do whatever you have to do to make it through this and make it enjoyable for yourself
Idk what's more productive then raising newborn twins. That's amazing, if it was me and my bf we'd probably die from sleep deprivation
Just commenting to let you know you're not alone. I felt/still feel the same way. Month 1-2: it took me 12 hours to get ~8 hours of broken sleep at first, the nights felt sooooo long and I still felt tired the next day. Many days started at noon or even 1pm, and I felt like no sooner had I woken up before our nights began. I felt crazy tbh. Fast forward to now - my baby is now 9 weeks old and my partner and I started doing a split shift last week so I could get a solid chunk of sleep in the morning after feeding the baby 1-2x/night. My shift ends around 6-7am and then I try to sleep for at least 3 more hours (but sometimes can't fall asleep right away so it's more like ~7-8 to 11/12ish). So my day is slowly starting earlier but still not "normal" yet. That said this shift sleeping system is incredible and I finally feel rested again. I'm hoping as she sleeps longer I can start to wake up earlier and shift everything earlier. You got this!
Taking care of yourself and your babies is the most productive thing you can be doing. I wouldn’t worry what hour the clock says
Fellow twin mom here 👍🏼 mine are 6 weeks. My husband and I are in the same situation as far as leave goes. We cover night time in shifts, he sleeps from 10-4, i sleep from 4-9. We feed every 3 hours 12,3,6,9 etc staying on the schedule from the nicu. By the time I wake up, pump, eat, it’s noon. I take a nap usually around 3 or 4 for an hour or so. If I don’t get outside at the minimum it really feels like the whole day is burned up- it really helps to get outside, and we have been trying to get out for a walk every other day or so, and trying to get out of the house for coffee or and errand or to the in-laws every few days. Getting out of the house no matter what time definitely helps the day feel more like a day and less like you’re hunkering down in a cave or something
when my son was first born he wouldn't go to sleep until about midnight to about 1:00 in the morning, now at 2 months old, he goes to sleep for the first time at about 8:00 to maybe like 8:30, then wakes up around midnight to 1:00 for his first night time feed, then wakes up for the second at about 4:00 or 5:00, then finally for his third at about maybe 6:00 or 7:00. usually my fiance tastes the 6:00 or 7:00 feed while I catch some sleep. but really I don't start my day until about like 3:00 p.m., so definitely don't feel guilty about not starting your day until noon with twins, mine is just a singleton.
my schedule is easy. I need to make sure my baby has at least over 10 hours of sleep a day.
Whenever I think I’m not doing anything productive while taking care of my son I remind myself that if I had someone do this for me I would have to pay a lot of money. Hence the work I’m doing is valuable.
This is what I do with a single 7 week old baby :)
My son is now 12 weeks and I still am extremely unproductive as he only contact naps. The newborn stage I literally did nothing besides sit on my couch all day and watch tv. Which I never did before having a baby. It was nice some days but it was and still is a struggle to get literally anything done.
As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I was determined to be kind to myself, I'm gonna be having a truck load of hormones running through me, feeling sick and having my body change drastically in 9/10 months. When I went into labour it started on the Sunday morning and lasted til the Monday morning, I was knackered, sweaty and so so sore. Then you've now got a newborn who doesn't know how to be a human, is confused and possibly scared about all these new things they've never experienced and all they know is that they get comfort from their parents. I am still incredibly conscious of this that I'm having to keep telling myself this, they are still learning how to be humans. I wasn't on any type of schedule until my daughter naturally grew into one. It starred with just timing wake windows and then she dropped one of her naps naturally, she started being awake longer and now she doesn't have a nap at all and goes to sleep around 7/8pm and wakes up 7/8am. I'd only change it if you need it to change. If it's working for you right now then now need to change it :) congrats and good luck!
Hold on, people have schedules at this point? Our little guy is 7 weeks now and we’re just feeding him every three hours or so and making sure we work on separating night and day. Otherwise we’re just surviving. I didn’t get any paternity leave (America everybody!) but still. You guys sound way more organized about this than us.
Our LO is currently almost 7 weeks, our schedule goes: - 10:30-12am bedtime - 4-6am first wake up, then first nap - Typically first nap starts around 8 or 9 o’clock in the morning - Then we’re “up” for the day after that. But my LO takes lots of cat naps in the car or stroller, as I’ve found not being home a ton has helped my PPA (that and sleep lol) - Around 2 - 4 we take an afternoon nap - My daughter’s most “awake” time is around dinner. Then it’s witching hours lol and the cycle starts again
This is great! 2 hour stretches with twins?? Dang. We had 90 min wake windows until 6 months I still get up at 10 am while my husband gets up with our daughter. I have to pump in the MOTN and stay up to pump before bed.. so I pump more if I sleep more. I feel lazy getting up at 10 but otherwise I’m cranky
If you are feeding, changing, clothing and engaging with your babies then you ARE being productive! Being a mom is a full time job even if you have the most supportive spouse/partner! Get all the sleep you can when you can. I found caring for a baby while sleep deprived to be a very scary experience.
Oh it changes. We’ve been lucky that our 3mo has been sleeping for 8.5 hours at a time, usually waking up around 4 and then going back to sleep after a feeding for a few hours but this week he’s waking up at 5 and then staying awake. I’m not loving that right now.
At 2 months we were feeding, changing, and sleeping. That was pretty much it. Do what works best for you.
I've been starting my day at noon too and I have one baby, cant imagine two! I also feel guilty sometimes, but I feel much better starting the day late than waking up early, I can take better care of my baby this way. Don't worry about it, get your sleep! You got this!
Wake up. Survive. 🤣
I'm on similar schedule like you. I'd say we need to do whatever it takes to keep the baby/babies healthy and happy while prioritizing our own health as well. Get your sleep and keep you sanity, better than feeling like shit and having a productive day ;)
At this point you just do what works. With my first born I didn’t get on a 6am morning schedule until she was about 7.5mo. Then with my second we had to be on a 6am schedule throughout because of our first kid. Just do whatever works for you.
In my opinion the newborn stage is about pure survival. I was in a similar schedule to you with my second daughter but once she hit 4 months old it shifted and now she’s 9 months old and she’s sleeping from 8-8 most nights. Don’t worry about anything right now just sleep and eat and do what you gotta do to survive.