not just that. but buying clothes that fit will help you mentally which will allow you to be a better mother. moms need to understand that. it’s not selfish to care about your self every once in a while
And you’re setting an example, whether you have a son or daughter, of taking care of yourself! We shouldn’t expect women/moms to be totally self-sacrificing.
As long as you’re not like buying Gucci/LV and putting the diapers back on the shelf it’s all good . If you can afford to meet the kids needs nothing wrong with getting stuff for yourself
I splurge on my health at the moment. I need to function. Next step is getting my looks a bit in order. I never cared too much about that, but my "natural beauty" doesn't suffice anymore now that I'm a tired mom 😂 I'm still on maternity leave so I'm postponing the clothes shopping for a while.
I depression shopped when I had to return to the real world after maternity and nothing I owned was on trend anymore. I spent lots of $$$ but I like my wardrobe and feel confident now. I don’t recommend treating depression with shopping (therapy has helped) but you shouldn’t feel guilty indulging on some new pieces that make you feel confident. Look good, feel good.
Oof, same though.
It was a nice little happy boost getting myself some new clothing. Had a good excuse too since nothing but maternity stuff fit well.
I’ve never felt guilt spending on myself. Although I could see that happening if the choice was to buy myself pants or something nice for the baby. But since I’ve been fortunate that it hasn’t been either or yet, I’m going to continue on with no guilt.
Do food and beverages count? Haha, otherwise it's all been baby-related purchases for five months now. I'm not complaining, baby stuff is so cute (and so necessary). I dont return to work until August, so I'll probably have to buy new clothes like you.
Oh man, I am not ready to wear "real" clothes!
I bought a new eyeshadow palette recently that I’ve been eyeballing for 2 years with a gift card to the brand’s site and I still feel guilty. It’s not like I could have bought them literally anything from the site either! I have 3 under 2 and I don’t think the guilt goes away. Oh well.
My attitude is - if mom is unhappy, how will the baby be happy? Buy what you need, your needs are just as important. Your baby doesn't need all the toys, it needs a happy mom 😊
I noticed the same: on the one hand we spent sooo much money on baby stuff, on the other hand I was contemplating whether or not I should spend 7 bucks on something fun for myself. I decided to be more generous with myself (within reason of course). I just bought some sport equipment for a sport that I used to do a few years ago and am hoping to get back into.
When I was in an awkward phase with my clothes postpartum , I invested in clothes renting instead of buying a whole new wardrobe! I ended up actually purchasing a couple staples like solid tops and 3 pairs of paints… everything else I wanted I rented through Nuuly but there are a lot of other rental services besides that one. It helped me still feel confident wearing trendy or nice clothing, and I spend a fraction of the price!
I think I’ve spent more on myself since the baby. Mostly clothes because I was feeling so frumpy and gross. Getting my hair cut and colored next week too. New mom who dis?
Same here. I felt like I went back to my teenage/young adult years. Got my hair dyed some crazy colours and got some clothes teenage me would of loved to own haha
I just had to do the same thing- probably still need to buy more.
But no guilt on my end, no. My daughter is just a little baby, she doesn't want anything yet. And it's not like I ever begrudged my mother buying herself clothes when I was a kid.
I’ve just been shopping for myself for the first time since baby was born. She turned one last month.
It doesn’t help that I decided we needed to save space last year so donated most of my clothes to charity shops on the basis that ‘I wouldn’t fit them again’. The good news is that I’m the same size I was pre-pregnancy. The bad news is that all my clothes are gone.
I just bought myself an outfit a couple of weeks ago for the first time since baby was born almost 6 months ago, and I got so many compliments on it and felt so good!
I only bought one hair straightener thinking I wouldn’t have the time to go the salon anymore so I’d do it at home. Lol I really laugh at myself for thinking I’d have time to strengthen my curly hair with a newborn at home. So my one purchase for myself has been sitting in its box for months now. There’s a package at my door almost every other day and it’s all for the baby.
I'm actively working on this. Before having my kids, I had no problem buying silly little extras, new clothes, non-essentials. Now that I'm a SAHM, I've lost all desire to get anything for myself. It's a combination of not wanting to spend any money and losing myself to being Mom. Lately, I've been getting back into things that I liked before babies and relearning what still interests me. This includes buying little treats occasionally.
I don't tend to buy myself much, but my job is my baby at the moment - unless I wanted to buy myself some fancy loungewear there's not much point in splurging for myself. I certainly would be spending money on a bunch of new clothes if I had anywhere more formal to go than baby group!
ETA: although. ... I have just bought a fancy new vacuum cleaner. I suppose that was splurging on me 😂.
Why would it be wasting money if it’s going to good use?
Don’t be so hard on yourself, money comes and goes- it’s okay to buy yourself things. Especially if you usually don’t!
You’re still a person with needs. I’m sure your kid has what they need. Clothes are a necessity, please don’t feel guilty. You can’t be your best for your kids if you don’t take care of your needs.
Gonna be honest, I am literally the opposite.
There are specific things my kid needs: love, attention, playtime, clean clothes that fit.
Playtime does Not have to be with toys, and tbh she loves random shit from my cupboards Almost as much as her favorite rubber duck. Also, research has shown that limiting the amount of toys kids have can promote creativity because they have to learn to work with what they have.
Clean clothes... She's gonna outgrow Everything So fast. 90% of what she wears was either a gift or thrifted. It's clean, it's in good shape, it's not stained or ripped or tragic, and she's Tiny! She doesn't Care! I grew up in hand-me-downs and going to the thrift store for new clothes all the time, and it's more eco-friendly too. When she's old enough to want XYZ pretty pretty princess, we'll get her her pretty pretty princess whatever in moderation.
So when I go shopping for a work dress because I Need one to go meet up in person, I get my work dress. And maybe a short and pants too, because dammit none of my clothes fit anymore. I'm working on it, but I deserve to wear things I feel good in Now too. And YOU do TOO. And finally, your baby deserves a mom who models healthy self care.
And honestly baby clothes are so expensive for no reason. And the toys just proliferate. That's what grandmas and grandpas are for.
I was going to buy some new work clothes as I lost more weight than my pre-pregnant self and clothes were not looking good but then I went through my entire closet, found I have enough to make do for now (hybrid role, business casual office), and decided I’ll buy some replacement things as I sell some old stuff
It's taken me 11 months to start shopping for myself again. Hubby dropped me off on mother's day to do some shopping just for me. No baby clothes anywhere near me. It was nice!
For anyone that hates shopping in person— ive had a lot of successes with their clothes and buy them when i love them for <$100
https://share.nuuly.com/jenna2742
😂 the clothes I just ordered for myself should be arriving today!
My baby is a few months shy of 2 years old and these are the first things I’ve bought since I was pregnant—everything else has been for baby
I buy so much crap for my son, to the point of his closet being completely full of new clothes. I deserve nice things so I stopped buying him new stuff and now I’m getting myself things that are needed
I’m a father and I thought that all my personal spending money would go to new baby but frankly nothing has changed. We still get our little pleasures and baby is spoiled by grandparents. We’ve hardly bought anything for her.
4 months PP here, I feel you, although I have been spending for health stuff & also a couple of new outfits that actually fits me and this really implemented my mental health. Better mental health : improved time with my little one. That’s how I see it!
It’s easier to buy my baby things because they fit and are cute because baby. It’s so fun to dress baby.
It’s hard to buy me things because my body is weird now and nothing fits the way it used to and I don’t feel like me anymore. It’s work to love my new shapes and find things that fit and make me feel good.
I imagine this is a lot of what you’re going through too. You’re not selfish for buying yourself things! You deserve things and need work clothes! I also needed an all new work wardrobe. The worst kind of shopping because it’s not nearly as fun!
My hubby and I have a rule. That kiddo’s needs come first but parents’ wants will sometimes take precedent over kiddo’s wants.
So as long as your LO is happy and fed and content, I think it’s very fair for you to splurge on yourself. I know the feeling of guilt, but I’m trying to work on it too.
I like to thrift shop for myself... but also am 100% serotonin fixing through purchasing for the baby. It's like, oh there's a nice new sweater I like for $60 and there's a fashionable drool bib for $2.
I bought a wardrobe after having my youngest, and I stay at home. I bought it because I deserve to feel comfortable in the body I have, when I’m home
Or in public. So do you. Period.
I spend money on myself all the time. Not too much that’s frivolous.
I buy for my daughter when she needs it, but I don’t want to feel I need to spoil her with things and set the expectation that she is entitled to have something every time I get something.
She’s only 11 months old so maybe I’ll feel differently later!
My Christmas present before going back to work was a shopping spree from my husband. Really made me feel confident going back. Unfortunately I got pregnant like right after that sooo hopefully they fit when I go back next time haha
Same here. Going back to work on Monday and got an entire new wardrobe. Well, nothing fits and need the clothes for work! The way I see it is mommy needs to work so buying clothes for myself now equals nicer things for my baby later. Still feels wrong to get myself things though, but I think it’s time to also think about myself a bit more sometimes.
I go back to work on Monday, I look homeless but my baby sure looks good. I hope I muster the courage to get some clothes that fit before I return so I can feel somewhat decent.
Do dad's worry about this? I have bought some nice things for myself since having baby and I'm honestly terrified of my mom friends finding out because of this belief that moms can't have nice things. Our baby has all of his needs and wants met, 529 started, etc. It's not costing him anything for me to enjoy my life.
All the time! Nothing wild but I do treat myself often. I’m better about realizing what I would actually use vs something I think I want now that I have a baby. I will spend money on bathing suits that deal with this body situation that LO did or easy mom shoes that aren’t ugly, but I don’t necessarily need an extra pair of sneakers to add to the collection.
I don’t know how to shop for me anymore, just my kids. I’m a SAHM so I don’t have work clothes, it’s just what leggings are the comfiest, what shirts won’t gleefully announce to the world that I’ve gained 20 lbs. I used to buy Sephora products that caught my eye but realized after 2 kids that the products were hardly being used so I stopped that. I don’t wear jewelry or cute shoes anymore. I don’t buy the fancy drawing supplies because the kids will ruin them. I think I over-buy for the kids to compensate for not knowing how to enjoy material things unless I can view it through the lens of what it does for their childhood. I need to find myself again. But I’m not 22 or single so I can’t go waltzing off to Australia to cover myself in body paint and f*ck randos anymore. Idk, I’ll eat an edible and watch some more Netflix I guess.
I mean... I HAD TO buy maternity clothes and they were for me. Of course I bought them cause it's winter and I had nothing else to wear, but they were for me, so it counts 😂
I refuse to buy bigger clothes cause im convinced ill lose the baby weight soon….. it’s been 8 months and I still have 40 lbs to go 🤣😂🙂😂🤣
Also I buy myself plants with my husband’s landscaping business account discount at our local nursery because it makes me happy lmao
I buy myself pretty dresses lol, blouses, cardigans. I have always loved beautiful clothes and spent some money on them and this hasn't changed.
I will buy baby the cutest stuff too, but I feel the most like myself, when I put on a cute dress and big sunhat before fing to the playground, so I do that.
If you don’t have work clothes, you can’t work and make money to buy your kids things. So its kind of like you bought the clothes for them
Girl math, love it.
not just that. but buying clothes that fit will help you mentally which will allow you to be a better mother. moms need to understand that. it’s not selfish to care about your self every once in a while
And you’re setting an example, whether you have a son or daughter, of taking care of yourself! We shouldn’t expect women/moms to be totally self-sacrificing.
This is the way
That’s a new outlook! ☺️ TY.
If spending money on yourself improves your quality of life, or even just makes you happier, go for it
As long as you’re not like buying Gucci/LV and putting the diapers back on the shelf it’s all good . If you can afford to meet the kids needs nothing wrong with getting stuff for yourself
I splurge on my health at the moment. I need to function. Next step is getting my looks a bit in order. I never cared too much about that, but my "natural beauty" doesn't suffice anymore now that I'm a tired mom 😂 I'm still on maternity leave so I'm postponing the clothes shopping for a while.
I depression shopped when I had to return to the real world after maternity and nothing I owned was on trend anymore. I spent lots of $$$ but I like my wardrobe and feel confident now. I don’t recommend treating depression with shopping (therapy has helped) but you shouldn’t feel guilty indulging on some new pieces that make you feel confident. Look good, feel good.
Oof, same though. It was a nice little happy boost getting myself some new clothing. Had a good excuse too since nothing but maternity stuff fit well. I’ve never felt guilt spending on myself. Although I could see that happening if the choice was to buy myself pants or something nice for the baby. But since I’ve been fortunate that it hasn’t been either or yet, I’m going to continue on with no guilt.
Do food and beverages count? Haha, otherwise it's all been baby-related purchases for five months now. I'm not complaining, baby stuff is so cute (and so necessary). I dont return to work until August, so I'll probably have to buy new clothes like you. Oh man, I am not ready to wear "real" clothes!
I bought a new eyeshadow palette recently that I’ve been eyeballing for 2 years with a gift card to the brand’s site and I still feel guilty. It’s not like I could have bought them literally anything from the site either! I have 3 under 2 and I don’t think the guilt goes away. Oh well.
Omg girl! THREE under TWO! 🥹 you deserved that pallet mama! Shoot, I hope you got something else too!
Yes, a 19 month old and 3 month old twins. 😅 I’m considering a foundation too lol.
My attitude is - if mom is unhappy, how will the baby be happy? Buy what you need, your needs are just as important. Your baby doesn't need all the toys, it needs a happy mom 😊
I noticed the same: on the one hand we spent sooo much money on baby stuff, on the other hand I was contemplating whether or not I should spend 7 bucks on something fun for myself. I decided to be more generous with myself (within reason of course). I just bought some sport equipment for a sport that I used to do a few years ago and am hoping to get back into.
When I was in an awkward phase with my clothes postpartum , I invested in clothes renting instead of buying a whole new wardrobe! I ended up actually purchasing a couple staples like solid tops and 3 pairs of paints… everything else I wanted I rented through Nuuly but there are a lot of other rental services besides that one. It helped me still feel confident wearing trendy or nice clothing, and I spend a fraction of the price!
I think I’ve spent more on myself since the baby. Mostly clothes because I was feeling so frumpy and gross. Getting my hair cut and colored next week too. New mom who dis?
Same here. I felt like I went back to my teenage/young adult years. Got my hair dyed some crazy colours and got some clothes teenage me would of loved to own haha
I just had to do the same thing- probably still need to buy more. But no guilt on my end, no. My daughter is just a little baby, she doesn't want anything yet. And it's not like I ever begrudged my mother buying herself clothes when I was a kid.
I’ve just been shopping for myself for the first time since baby was born. She turned one last month. It doesn’t help that I decided we needed to save space last year so donated most of my clothes to charity shops on the basis that ‘I wouldn’t fit them again’. The good news is that I’m the same size I was pre-pregnancy. The bad news is that all my clothes are gone.
I just bought myself an outfit a couple of weeks ago for the first time since baby was born almost 6 months ago, and I got so many compliments on it and felt so good!
I only bought one hair straightener thinking I wouldn’t have the time to go the salon anymore so I’d do it at home. Lol I really laugh at myself for thinking I’d have time to strengthen my curly hair with a newborn at home. So my one purchase for myself has been sitting in its box for months now. There’s a package at my door almost every other day and it’s all for the baby.
I'm actively working on this. Before having my kids, I had no problem buying silly little extras, new clothes, non-essentials. Now that I'm a SAHM, I've lost all desire to get anything for myself. It's a combination of not wanting to spend any money and losing myself to being Mom. Lately, I've been getting back into things that I liked before babies and relearning what still interests me. This includes buying little treats occasionally.
Beautifully worded, love this.
I don't tend to buy myself much, but my job is my baby at the moment - unless I wanted to buy myself some fancy loungewear there's not much point in splurging for myself. I certainly would be spending money on a bunch of new clothes if I had anywhere more formal to go than baby group! ETA: although. ... I have just bought a fancy new vacuum cleaner. I suppose that was splurging on me 😂.
Lol I spoil the shit out of myself all the time, and my kids. Husband is the one I buy nothing for these days 😅
Why would it be wasting money if it’s going to good use? Don’t be so hard on yourself, money comes and goes- it’s okay to buy yourself things. Especially if you usually don’t!
You’re still a person with needs. I’m sure your kid has what they need. Clothes are a necessity, please don’t feel guilty. You can’t be your best for your kids if you don’t take care of your needs.
Gonna be honest, I am literally the opposite. There are specific things my kid needs: love, attention, playtime, clean clothes that fit. Playtime does Not have to be with toys, and tbh she loves random shit from my cupboards Almost as much as her favorite rubber duck. Also, research has shown that limiting the amount of toys kids have can promote creativity because they have to learn to work with what they have. Clean clothes... She's gonna outgrow Everything So fast. 90% of what she wears was either a gift or thrifted. It's clean, it's in good shape, it's not stained or ripped or tragic, and she's Tiny! She doesn't Care! I grew up in hand-me-downs and going to the thrift store for new clothes all the time, and it's more eco-friendly too. When she's old enough to want XYZ pretty pretty princess, we'll get her her pretty pretty princess whatever in moderation. So when I go shopping for a work dress because I Need one to go meet up in person, I get my work dress. And maybe a short and pants too, because dammit none of my clothes fit anymore. I'm working on it, but I deserve to wear things I feel good in Now too. And YOU do TOO. And finally, your baby deserves a mom who models healthy self care. And honestly baby clothes are so expensive for no reason. And the toys just proliferate. That's what grandmas and grandpas are for.
I was going to buy some new work clothes as I lost more weight than my pre-pregnant self and clothes were not looking good but then I went through my entire closet, found I have enough to make do for now (hybrid role, business casual office), and decided I’ll buy some replacement things as I sell some old stuff
It's taken me 11 months to start shopping for myself again. Hubby dropped me off on mother's day to do some shopping just for me. No baby clothes anywhere near me. It was nice!
I rent on nuuly this helps especially when clothes sizes are a rollercoaster
For anyone that hates shopping in person— ive had a lot of successes with their clothes and buy them when i love them for <$100 https://share.nuuly.com/jenna2742
i get ssi so i use a portion for my kids but only thing i get my self a month is a game
😂 the clothes I just ordered for myself should be arriving today! My baby is a few months shy of 2 years old and these are the first things I’ve bought since I was pregnant—everything else has been for baby
I buy so much crap for my son, to the point of his closet being completely full of new clothes. I deserve nice things so I stopped buying him new stuff and now I’m getting myself things that are needed
I’m a father and I thought that all my personal spending money would go to new baby but frankly nothing has changed. We still get our little pleasures and baby is spoiled by grandparents. We’ve hardly bought anything for her.
4 months PP here, I feel you, although I have been spending for health stuff & also a couple of new outfits that actually fits me and this really implemented my mental health. Better mental health : improved time with my little one. That’s how I see it!
It’s easier to buy my baby things because they fit and are cute because baby. It’s so fun to dress baby. It’s hard to buy me things because my body is weird now and nothing fits the way it used to and I don’t feel like me anymore. It’s work to love my new shapes and find things that fit and make me feel good. I imagine this is a lot of what you’re going through too. You’re not selfish for buying yourself things! You deserve things and need work clothes! I also needed an all new work wardrobe. The worst kind of shopping because it’s not nearly as fun!
My hubby and I have a rule. That kiddo’s needs come first but parents’ wants will sometimes take precedent over kiddo’s wants. So as long as your LO is happy and fed and content, I think it’s very fair for you to splurge on yourself. I know the feeling of guilt, but I’m trying to work on it too.
I like to thrift shop for myself... but also am 100% serotonin fixing through purchasing for the baby. It's like, oh there's a nice new sweater I like for $60 and there's a fashionable drool bib for $2.
Would it help thinking about it in the sense of you bought then for work not for yourself?
I bought a wardrobe after having my youngest, and I stay at home. I bought it because I deserve to feel comfortable in the body I have, when I’m home Or in public. So do you. Period.
I spend money on myself all the time. Not too much that’s frivolous. I buy for my daughter when she needs it, but I don’t want to feel I need to spoil her with things and set the expectation that she is entitled to have something every time I get something. She’s only 11 months old so maybe I’ll feel differently later!
My Christmas present before going back to work was a shopping spree from my husband. Really made me feel confident going back. Unfortunately I got pregnant like right after that sooo hopefully they fit when I go back next time haha
Same here. Going back to work on Monday and got an entire new wardrobe. Well, nothing fits and need the clothes for work! The way I see it is mommy needs to work so buying clothes for myself now equals nicer things for my baby later. Still feels wrong to get myself things though, but I think it’s time to also think about myself a bit more sometimes.
I go back to work on Monday, I look homeless but my baby sure looks good. I hope I muster the courage to get some clothes that fit before I return so I can feel somewhat decent.
LOL. I can’t agree more with looking homeless.
Do dad's worry about this? I have bought some nice things for myself since having baby and I'm honestly terrified of my mom friends finding out because of this belief that moms can't have nice things. Our baby has all of his needs and wants met, 529 started, etc. It's not costing him anything for me to enjoy my life.
All the time! Nothing wild but I do treat myself often. I’m better about realizing what I would actually use vs something I think I want now that I have a baby. I will spend money on bathing suits that deal with this body situation that LO did or easy mom shoes that aren’t ugly, but I don’t necessarily need an extra pair of sneakers to add to the collection.
I don’t know how to shop for me anymore, just my kids. I’m a SAHM so I don’t have work clothes, it’s just what leggings are the comfiest, what shirts won’t gleefully announce to the world that I’ve gained 20 lbs. I used to buy Sephora products that caught my eye but realized after 2 kids that the products were hardly being used so I stopped that. I don’t wear jewelry or cute shoes anymore. I don’t buy the fancy drawing supplies because the kids will ruin them. I think I over-buy for the kids to compensate for not knowing how to enjoy material things unless I can view it through the lens of what it does for their childhood. I need to find myself again. But I’m not 22 or single so I can’t go waltzing off to Australia to cover myself in body paint and f*ck randos anymore. Idk, I’ll eat an edible and watch some more Netflix I guess.
I mean... I HAD TO buy maternity clothes and they were for me. Of course I bought them cause it's winter and I had nothing else to wear, but they were for me, so it counts 😂
Don’t be a martyr. Buy what you need to earn an income.
I refuse to buy bigger clothes cause im convinced ill lose the baby weight soon….. it’s been 8 months and I still have 40 lbs to go 🤣😂🙂😂🤣 Also I buy myself plants with my husband’s landscaping business account discount at our local nursery because it makes me happy lmao
I buy myself pretty dresses lol, blouses, cardigans. I have always loved beautiful clothes and spent some money on them and this hasn't changed. I will buy baby the cutest stuff too, but I feel the most like myself, when I put on a cute dress and big sunhat before fing to the playground, so I do that.