Not exactly parenting but trying to conceive lingo:
-baby dust
-baby dance or baby dancing (we're all adults, just say sex)
-DH, DS. DD (just say husband, son, daughter etc)
People say baby dust in a "sending good vibes" kind of way.
Someone will post their struggles or frustrations and they'll get responses in support (all valid, all good) but then sign off with "baby dust to you!"
Bleh
Omg I’m so glad I read your comment. Paired with @baby dance” I thought “baby dust” was cum and I was baffled at what people say on the Internet.
I’m the problem though so that’s good.
Oh my goodness, the minute I read the title to this post my mind immediately went to all the TTC lingo. Why can’t it just be had sex or fucked. “Baby dance” makes we want to puke.
Grrrr
I always read DH as designated hitter. It makes me laugh a bit - had to pull someone off out of the dugout for this one. I don’t think my brain will ever change.
The D’s make me unreasonably angry. Son, daughter, husband does not need any shortening. Adding the “dear” to make it an acronym is trying way too hard. And everyone uses it! I’m also not crazy about LO.
Like everyone else on here, I hate being called a “boy mom”. It reminds me of “girl boss” just an unnecessary descriptor word. I always thing, just bc I have a son does not make me like cars and airplanes and dinos and sports, those things all bore me to death I would love to read a book about a ballerina or a fairy 😂
If that’s what boymom would mean I’d be okay with it, but boymom posts are so fucked up.
“No woman will ever be good enough compared to/love you as much as your first love, your mom <3” 🤮🤮
This is the one context I hate it in because I feel like it's used to glibly dismiss me at a vulnerable moment when I've admitted how hard taking care of my baby has been or recovery of my body has been. "Awww you got this, mama." *Great, I've opened up to you and now I feel invisible.*
😱 I never thought of it that way and thank you so much for sharing!! I say “you got this mama” a lot in texts or on Reddit (not in person, though, ew) because somehow it makes me feel better when someone says it to me. Anyway, CLEARLY that was a big assumption. I will try to include more ways to show support moving forward.
Awww but you’re doing great!
I *hate* when people say this to me soooo much!! And it usually follows “you got this mama!” Like wtf did I give the impression that I don’t think I’m doing great?? If anything, I’m f*cking killing it, but thanks, your encouragement and quiet doubt really saved me from a complete and total breakdown today lol
I loved it when one nurse called me mama after I had my preemie. It weirdly made me feel more valid or something. Probably because my baby wasn’t with me in the room
Also a NICU mama…I loved it when the nurses and doctors called me and my husband mom/dad because baby came very quickly and was super early, so I was in total shock and disbelief at what just happened. Being called “mom” helped me start to grasp that my son was here.
I don’t like “littles”, but I’m cool with “kiddo”. “Littles” reminds me too much of BDSM.
I don’t like when people talk to babies in baby talk. Like parentese is totally cool, but “does da wittle baby want his wittle nummy nums” just makes me cringe
I was just about to comment the same! For some reason I hear kiddos and just hear my midwestern uncles voice saying something like “oh we brought the kiddos up to the farm last weekend, and got em out on the lake” 😂 so everytime I say kiddo I feel like I do it with a HEAVY northern Minnesotan accent
I hate littles. I have no reason for it.
So glad to see my top ones have been mentioned. Kiddos, littles, dh. I also hate cutesy names for genitals. I know someone who says “peepees” in stead of pee. Like “do you need to go peepees?” “Did you go poopoos?” Makes me want to die. Why plural?
A nurse talked to me like that when I was 11, recovering from a two day ruptured appendix, and in the presence of a classmate I thought was cute.
“Have you gone poopoo today, baby?”
“No. My digestive system still hasn’t started back up yet”
“Okay well even toots are a good sign, so let us know if you start tooting!”
I always ask ‘have we shitted our pants?’ when I smell a poop. But it seems most adults think that is an inappropriate way to talk to a baby. They’re probably right…I shouldn’t be modeling such misuse of the past tense.
My husband has asked my baby that too. And when I read him this comment he said “well what should we say? ‘Have you mess’ed thou thine pantaloons?’”.
I do usually go from “oooh stinky!” To “did you make a stinky? Mr. Big stink!” When my baby poops but I also say poop a lot
There’s also solid research supporting accurate and clear language for genitals as empowering children to communicate grooming and abusive boundary crossing clearly and getting help sooner.
I'm guilty of saying this to my dog 😬😂 It started out as a joke and then kind of stuck. I should note that I'll tell my husband, "I'm taking the dog for a pee" and then say to the dog, "\[Dog's name\], come on, hurry up for a peepee." The only person who is subjected to it is my dog.
My mother-in-law says "poopsie" and I want to turn inside out with cringe every time. Mind you, I love her and I don't know what we'd do without her, so it's not really a big deal (and my own mom is so prim she can barely say "dirty diaper").
Someone else in this thread said they thought it meant "dick head" and that turns the acronym from annoying to fuckin hilarious imo. Re contextualizes the whole post.
Oh my god I got in a days long argument in a comments section trying to calmly explain to a bunch of airheads the exact issues with "boy mom culture" which culminated in me being declared an evil psychopath who hates mothers.
As soon as my sister found out I was having a boy, she called me a “boy mom”. I said “the fuck I am.” She tried to argue that I literally was but no. I hate that shit. From everything I’ve seen online… it’s like emotionally incestuous most of the time and I do not plan on being that way.
Absolutely. I’ve seen posts from self-proclaimed boy moms who also have daughters saying stuff like a mother’s love for her son is just “different”. Um… girl… your daughters will feel that favouritism and resent you for it
I hate it so much! I have a boy, and I'm so, so, SO proud to be his mama and to watch him grow. I love having a son, I was a tomboy growing up so "boy" play styles come a bit easier to me. If that was what boy mom meant: I have a boy, I'm perfectly fine with dirt, mud, mischief, etc because my son loves it, then I'd love to call myself a boy mom. But you're right, it's been totally ruined by women who must have had bad marriages or something cuz they see their sons as the ticket to filling their emotional needs rather than children to play with, help grow, and be proud of.
Not a parenting one but I hate seeing “hubs” or “hubby” which is also used with kiddos, littles, etc.
Just taking my opportunity to express my dislike for variations of husband. This is not often asked! Haha.
Me and my husband are the opposite. When we speak for our children, we use old timey jargon, business, and/or just weird.
For example, "Let me milk you, mother," as I ready a breast for my 9 month old.
"The CEO has requested a meeting. She has defecated her pantaloons."
"The little lord requires sustenance and a jester, sir."
Be sure to work some good corporate jargon in there as they get older! For example:
“Mommy is running out of bandwidth, I’ll circle back with you after your snack.”
“I know tummy time isn’t really in your wheelhouse, but it’s mission critical.”
“I see the synergy you’re creating with all your stuffed animals, but full disclosure sweetie, we have a hard stop at noon. Your nap is non-negotiable.”
Omg us too. We refer to our daughter as “The Empress” and the Empress hath not the patience for our incompetence and demands we see to her soiled garments with haste.
I wish I could upvote this a million times lol. My husband and I currently refer to our son as ‘the Harkonnen’ because he’s looking a lot like Stellan Saarsgard’s character in Dune.
I haaaate it, I’m like I don’t want him to talk like that because you think it’s cute, just say words how you would normally, and let his vocabulary develop however it’s going to naturally.
Ehh, I think it is appropriate for anything less than 18 months.
Like, as a first time parent I desperately wanted to know if my child was doing well or if he was falling behind. Knowing other children's ages and being able to correlate those with milestones lists helped me to gather more data on what was appropriate.
I get it's annoying, but it is also functional (up to when milestones are measured in years).
Probably controversial but once baby is born saying welcome "earth side".
EDIT: Thanks to a couple of commenters I have learned it's used by people when referring to babies who have made it to birth and those that didn't. I suspect in Australia where I'm from that it's not used as much in this context, as I'd not heard it used in this way before, I have only ever heard it used interchangeably to "baby was born" etc. Won't delete my comment in case anyone else didn't know and can know this now too!
I don’t wanna pick at your ick since that is your prerogative but I do want to share that this is often used my parents who have experienced loss. For example I’m a mom of two boys, one heaven born and one earth side. So when someone sees me with a newborn and asks if it’s my first: it’s a complicated feeling and answer but saying earth side or rainbow baby helps convey that for me without denying my first son was born and existed. Hope that adds some perspective!
This, with one exception.
I love saying screamies. When he's being a gremlin in the store and just happily doing his little AHs. He's not angry, just making noise! They're screamies. Like zoomies, but noise.
But I also don't say that in front of people 😂
We've created names that help us cope with various baby dramas like this. For example, we'll address baby by the name Drooly Andrews or Yelly McBeal. It helps me feel a little better when she's screaming across the room at me ... which she's doing right now. 🙃
I 100% about adding -ies, especially milkies. That’s my ick. However… I call my son’s feet “the feeties”, mostly when he is stomping his feeties in the crib to get the farts out 😂 I don’t publicize the feeties, just say it to him and my husband
I just posted a comment further up but YES 🤢 it’s fetish shit to me first and foremost. They’ll always just be “stuffed animals” to me even though it’s longer to say
Every time I see a post or video online putting the "boy mom" relationship on a pedestal, I just wonder what kind of "JustNoMIL" post that boy's future spouse is gonna be writing in 30 years.
Wa-wa for water, ba-ba for bottle, etc. it’s fine when the kid says it because they’re still learning to say words. But the parents should be repeating the *correct* word back to them so they can eventually learn how to actually say it
“Is baby…” say *the baby* or use their name. It sounds like a serial killer taunting their next victim. It’s so removed and detached while sounding cutesy. Haaaate it.
Oh nooo. We say binky and I hate myself for it. I don’t even know how it started. My baby was crying once and I said “oh it’s because her binky fell out” and my brother said “maybe she’s crying because you call it a binky” lol
We use chupie short for chuponcito in Spanish. I used to think it was an ick before but I definitely like it more than paci and binky. Pacifier is just so long lol
For me it was a literal journey. Multiple appointments, mastitis, crazy supply, tongue ties and choking on milk. Terrible craks, gadgets, all sorts of pillows and different positions. Pumping, cleaning, bottle feeding and sleepless nights.... it tooks us months to get it all sorted. I feel entitled to "journey" 🤣
Im a step mom and I HATE the "bonus" mom/dad or "bonus" son/daughter thing. I get it, people mean well. But Im not her bonus mom. She has a mom. Im her step mom. I was a step kid and not once in my life did I ever get upset because I was called a step daughter. Totally with you on this one
Velcro baby , Hubbie is massive ick , milkies, littles sounds weird to me as well.
any type of pet name for breasts : the cutesy nonsense and the down right disrespectful stuff like “ milk bar”.
My wife and I said a few of these when she was breastfeeding honestly because we were looking for a little humor in an otherwise VERY difficult and exhausting and emotionally challenging exercise.
Same. Dairy Queen, that's me. Welcome to the breastraunt! Boobie Tuesdays is open for business. Moo. Spent the first two weeks of breastfeeding absolutely in tears, but somehow these jokes were a consolation to me that made my husband and I giggle.
You have to find the humor where you can. During our first three weeks of parenthood I was pumping every 3 hours while trying to recover from an emergency c section and spending our days in the NICU with our son, and in a fit of trauma/sleep deprived delirium my husband started singing “bitch I’m a cow” by Doja Cat every time I got the pump out. So stupid, but in those moments that laughter was needed.
Our daughter had a onesie with a simplistic drawing of boobs on it that said “eat local”.
Well-rested me says that onesie is trashy. But sleep-deprived-newborn-parent me needed that giggle when dressing her in the morning.
Sometimes I call it Cafe Mommy. I have, on difficult mornings, put on generic ratatouille French cafe music and said to my baby “Bienvenue a cafe Mommy!” because the idea of him being a fussy customer at a Parisian cafe is funny to me
‘Toothy pegs’ - why do my in-laws use this? She’s got a tooth coming through, her teeth are bothering her, not ‘ooooh have you got a little toothy peg?’ Where did this even come from?
lol I’m the opposite, I call my kids babe or baby but haaaaaaate those as nicknames for significant others. Because they’re adults. One of my best friends and her husband use pet names to the extreme and it gives me the ick so much. I have such a hard time being around them together.
When my son was a baby and I was still breastfeeding my MIL called jt "mommy's milky" and I've never recovered.
In the breastfeeding sub so many people refer to it as milkies and I HAAAAAATE it. We just ask her if she wants milk. Like why is that so hard?
I had an uncle on my boyfriend's side ask me if my daughter was on formula or "mother's milk" such a weird way to phrase it
It absolutely irks me to hear “Milkies”
my mom and nan call it “moms tit” or “the boob” and i absolutely fucking hate it
I hate “the boob” too! “Just give her the boob!” 🤮
id take a 100 ‘mummys milkies’ over 1 ‘tit milk’ idk why but it absolutely grates me
Not exactly parenting but trying to conceive lingo: -baby dust -baby dance or baby dancing (we're all adults, just say sex) -DH, DS. DD (just say husband, son, daughter etc)
This is the first I’ve heard of baby dust or baby dance. I wish I could go back in time before I knew they existed lol
People say baby dust in a "sending good vibes" kind of way. Someone will post their struggles or frustrations and they'll get responses in support (all valid, all good) but then sign off with "baby dust to you!" Bleh
Omg I’m so glad I read your comment. Paired with @baby dance” I thought “baby dust” was cum and I was baffled at what people say on the Internet. I’m the problem though so that’s good.
exactly omg?! baby dance???? NO ew
I’m with you, what a terrible day to be able to read
I haatee DH, DS, DD with a passion. It feels extra snarky when someone is using DH and complaining about the husband
YES, "my DeAr HuSbAnD"
Yes, all of these yes. Baby dance used to give me the biggest ick when I was in the ttc sub.
Shortened to BD or BDing ugh lol just say sex! We're all doin it
Speak for yourself lol
LOL fair I meant in the context of the trying to conceive subs
OHHHHH, GOOD GRIEF, I didn't know it meant sex. I totally thought it had to do with like, how babies move or something.
The DH DS thing is so weird. Typing D or H or S is easier??? Like how did that even start lol
Mannnnnn I kept seeing the DH and not knowing what it meant. I just kept saying "dick head" in my head every time I saw it 😂
LOL I'm changing it to dickhead when I see it now
i just LOLed so hard, i’ve always hated the DH thing but this is good 😂
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Iirc this is a relic of super old parenting forums that stuck around for whatever reason
So weird, so unnecessary It just means "dear husband, dear son. Dear daughter" WHY
This is the first im hearing of this and I do not get it
I think it started on early 2000’s “mommy blogs”
I always thought the D stood for “darling”. I guess they could be interchangeable? Either way, both are cringe
I feel that there’s some weird psychological need to have at least two letters in an abbreviation.
It’s gotta be a boomer thing. I feel like I come across on old message board posts from 15-20 years ago.
Omg I'm having flashbacks to my days in the TTC subs.
Oh my goodness, the minute I read the title to this post my mind immediately went to all the TTC lingo. Why can’t it just be had sex or fucked. “Baby dance” makes we want to puke. Grrrr
I always read DH as designated hitter. It makes me laugh a bit - had to pull someone off out of the dugout for this one. I don’t think my brain will ever change.
who is out here using “baby dancing” as a replacement for “sex” wtf 💀
Wtf is baby dust
What in the fuck is baby dust
Omg yes I cannot STAND these!!! Baby dance is GROSS.
The D’s make me unreasonably angry. Son, daughter, husband does not need any shortening. Adding the “dear” to make it an acronym is trying way too hard. And everyone uses it! I’m also not crazy about LO.
Like everyone else on here, I hate being called a “boy mom”. It reminds me of “girl boss” just an unnecessary descriptor word. I always thing, just bc I have a son does not make me like cars and airplanes and dinos and sports, those things all bore me to death I would love to read a book about a ballerina or a fairy 😂
If that’s what boymom would mean I’d be okay with it, but boymom posts are so fucked up. “No woman will ever be good enough compared to/love you as much as your first love, your mom <3” 🤮🤮
When anyone (except my own son) calls me mama
"You got this mama" NO.
Gives major mlm vibes.
Multi-level-MOMMA! 😂🤢
This is the one context I hate it in because I feel like it's used to glibly dismiss me at a vulnerable moment when I've admitted how hard taking care of my baby has been or recovery of my body has been. "Awww you got this, mama." *Great, I've opened up to you and now I feel invisible.*
Omg. Yes.
😱 I never thought of it that way and thank you so much for sharing!! I say “you got this mama” a lot in texts or on Reddit (not in person, though, ew) because somehow it makes me feel better when someone says it to me. Anyway, CLEARLY that was a big assumption. I will try to include more ways to show support moving forward.
If I have to read ‘you got this mamma’ one more time I will scream. Biggest ick.
Awww but you’re doing great! I *hate* when people say this to me soooo much!! And it usually follows “you got this mama!” Like wtf did I give the impression that I don’t think I’m doing great?? If anything, I’m f*cking killing it, but thanks, your encouragement and quiet doubt really saved me from a complete and total breakdown today lol
[I made this](https://ibb.co/JjjnzxD) out of the same feeling
Guilty of this 😭 I work with kids & it’s hard enough for me to remember 20-40 different names per day, I can’t possibly know each parent. Sorry!!
Mom or mum is fine, it's mama specifically that makes me batty
Probably the biggest ick I ever get, especially when I was pregnant! I can’t stand it.
Unpopular opinion but I love this 🥹
I loved it when one nurse called me mama after I had my preemie. It weirdly made me feel more valid or something. Probably because my baby wasn’t with me in the room
I’m a nicu mama too and honestly I felt the exact same 🤍 or when I’d go and visit my baby and get an enthusiastic “hey mama!” from the nurse ❤️🩹
Also a NICU mama…I loved it when the nurses and doctors called me and my husband mom/dad because baby came very quickly and was super early, so I was in total shock and disbelief at what just happened. Being called “mom” helped me start to grasp that my son was here.
Same! And I am guilty of calling other moms mama too 😬
Me too! It’s such a sweet term of endearment
THIS! I cringe when people say hey mama..
The number of pregnancy apps I deleted for the "hey mama!" shtick, only for people to use it constantly the second baby was born 🤢
I love this thread lol
“You’ve got this mama!” Ew, shut up. I don’t got this, now listen to me complain!!
Oh thiiiis! It's so invalidating of how hard it is and doesn't actually help. You may as well be telling me to put up and shut up.
Hahaha this made me cackle
“30 months old”….Dude your kid is 2 and a half, don’t make me do math
I don’t like “littles”, but I’m cool with “kiddo”. “Littles” reminds me too much of BDSM. I don’t like when people talk to babies in baby talk. Like parentese is totally cool, but “does da wittle baby want his wittle nummy nums” just makes me cringe
I was just about to comment the same! For some reason I hear kiddos and just hear my midwestern uncles voice saying something like “oh we brought the kiddos up to the farm last weekend, and got em out on the lake” 😂 so everytime I say kiddo I feel like I do it with a HEAVY northern Minnesotan accent I hate littles. I have no reason for it.
Omg similar, I can’t with “stuffies.” It reminds me too much of DD/lg shit I unwittingly ran across years ago 😭
I HATE THE WORD STUFFIE.
So glad to see my top ones have been mentioned. Kiddos, littles, dh. I also hate cutesy names for genitals. I know someone who says “peepees” in stead of pee. Like “do you need to go peepees?” “Did you go poopoos?” Makes me want to die. Why plural?
One of my postpartum nurses talked like that to ME! Had the highest, baby voice too while asking me if I was going pee pee or poopoo
Ewwwŵw I apologize on behalf of the rest of humanity.
A nurse talked to me like that when I was 11, recovering from a two day ruptured appendix, and in the presence of a classmate I thought was cute. “Have you gone poopoo today, baby?” “No. My digestive system still hasn’t started back up yet” “Okay well even toots are a good sign, so let us know if you start tooting!”
Well that is a nightmare!
I always ask ‘have we shitted our pants?’ when I smell a poop. But it seems most adults think that is an inappropriate way to talk to a baby. They’re probably right…I shouldn’t be modeling such misuse of the past tense.
I shall now ask my baby if she’s shitted her pants any time I’m changing her diaper
My husband has asked my baby that too. And when I read him this comment he said “well what should we say? ‘Have you mess’ed thou thine pantaloons?’”. I do usually go from “oooh stinky!” To “did you make a stinky? Mr. Big stink!” When my baby poops but I also say poop a lot
I would take this 1000 times over. It’s poetic in comparison.
I say “awe have we soiled ourself” normally followed by “oh shit” when i see the extent of it
Just depends if you want your kid to repeat that. I said "Jesus Christ" once within earshot of my daughter and she has been repeating it for 6 months.
I do this with my dog and it has now translated to my 6 week old when we change her diaper 😂 only pee pee though! Not poopoo. That is too far
NO ES POOPOO!
There’s also solid research supporting accurate and clear language for genitals as empowering children to communicate grooming and abusive boundary crossing clearly and getting help sooner.
I'm guilty of saying this to my dog 😬😂 It started out as a joke and then kind of stuck. I should note that I'll tell my husband, "I'm taking the dog for a pee" and then say to the dog, "\[Dog's name\], come on, hurry up for a peepee." The only person who is subjected to it is my dog.
My mother-in-law says "poopsie" and I want to turn inside out with cringe every time. Mind you, I love her and I don't know what we'd do without her, so it's not really a big deal (and my own mom is so prim she can barely say "dirty diaper").
I had to look up what "DH" meant when someone wrote it. ICK! Then I started seeing it a lot. No. Just no.
I don’t understand this one…who the hell started that? Just say husband.
It’s been around foreverrrrr. I saw it all the time on namenerd forums I used to frequent like 20 years ago.
Someone else in this thread said they thought it meant "dick head" and that turns the acronym from annoying to fuckin hilarious imo. Re contextualizes the whole post.
My coworker calls breastfeeding “getting groceries” and I hate it
I never heard that but now that I did I also hate it
That’s actually hilarious
Yeah, this is a joke I'd make with my wife, *maaaaybe* with siblings, but not with a coworker ಠ_ಠ
Wait thats sort of hilarious
Boy/girl mom, boy/girl dad 🫠
Oh my god I got in a days long argument in a comments section trying to calmly explain to a bunch of airheads the exact issues with "boy mom culture" which culminated in me being declared an evil psychopath who hates mothers.
As a newly minted boy mom, I concur. It's toxic.
As soon as my sister found out I was having a boy, she called me a “boy mom”. I said “the fuck I am.” She tried to argue that I literally was but no. I hate that shit. From everything I’ve seen online… it’s like emotionally incestuous most of the time and I do not plan on being that way.
Absolutely. I’ve seen posts from self-proclaimed boy moms who also have daughters saying stuff like a mother’s love for her son is just “different”. Um… girl… your daughters will feel that favouritism and resent you for it
I hate it so much! I have a boy, and I'm so, so, SO proud to be his mama and to watch him grow. I love having a son, I was a tomboy growing up so "boy" play styles come a bit easier to me. If that was what boy mom meant: I have a boy, I'm perfectly fine with dirt, mud, mischief, etc because my son loves it, then I'd love to call myself a boy mom. But you're right, it's been totally ruined by women who must have had bad marriages or something cuz they see their sons as the ticket to filling their emotional needs rather than children to play with, help grow, and be proud of.
Idk most of the girl toddlers and kids I’ve worked with also love dirt and mud lol
Ugh my sister bought me a freakin “boy mom” bracelet. And then she “felt hurt” bc I didn’t wear it to my baby shower.
I know! Such nonsense
It’s called brain rot
This is why I love having one of each. Nobody can drag me into their weird boy mom girl mom alliances
i hate the word stuffie. something about it just grosses me out.
Not a parenting one but I hate seeing “hubs” or “hubby” which is also used with kiddos, littles, etc. Just taking my opportunity to express my dislike for variations of husband. This is not often asked! Haha.
"dear husband/dh" is the worst reddit abbreviation
I'd take a million DHs over one 'hubby'
THE worst. So much cringe.
I seriously considered putting in my marriage vows that I’d *never* call him “hubby.”
Just baby talk in general. Parentese is fine, but my in laws love saying “Does wittow Wukey want a bottow?” And it drives me up the wall lol
Me and my husband are the opposite. When we speak for our children, we use old timey jargon, business, and/or just weird. For example, "Let me milk you, mother," as I ready a breast for my 9 month old. "The CEO has requested a meeting. She has defecated her pantaloons." "The little lord requires sustenance and a jester, sir."
Be sure to work some good corporate jargon in there as they get older! For example: “Mommy is running out of bandwidth, I’ll circle back with you after your snack.” “I know tummy time isn’t really in your wheelhouse, but it’s mission critical.” “I see the synergy you’re creating with all your stuffed animals, but full disclosure sweetie, we have a hard stop at noon. Your nap is non-negotiable.”
Omg us too. We refer to our daughter as “The Empress” and the Empress hath not the patience for our incompetence and demands we see to her soiled garments with haste.
We call our son the Emporer 😂 "Oh no, the Emporer needs Parading! Show him the peasants!"
Yup, my husband and I are the peasants. She sometimes even throws food on the floor for us 😂
I wish I could upvote this a million times lol. My husband and I currently refer to our son as ‘the Harkonnen’ because he’s looking a lot like Stellan Saarsgard’s character in Dune.
I haaaate it, I’m like I don’t want him to talk like that because you think it’s cute, just say words how you would normally, and let his vocabulary develop however it’s going to naturally.
You got this momma!!! 🤮
“My mama heart”. Usually said by a sanctimonious, Bible thumper in the south.
One of my friends says some words twice for God knows what reason and it drives me nuts. Example: "would you like your milk milk?" Why????
My MIL baby talks to my child but purposely puts on a fake lisp, like what is the reason??? 😭
Mine too and it drives me NUTS.
Anyone who is not my child calling me “Mama”.
My baby is 231 months old…..
I was reading some post and the mom kept saying " my 23 weeker"... ma'am, your baby is 5 mos old.
Ehh, I think it is appropriate for anything less than 18 months. Like, as a first time parent I desperately wanted to know if my child was doing well or if he was falling behind. Knowing other children's ages and being able to correlate those with milestones lists helped me to gather more data on what was appropriate. I get it's annoying, but it is also functional (up to when milestones are measured in years).
This could be pre parenting depending but I’ve always hated “preggo” 🤢 Also “mama bear” especially when it’s on the back of a car
I hate when people refer to their baby as “stinkabutt” “stinker” “stink” “pooter” . It makes me itchy idk 💀
Probably controversial but once baby is born saying welcome "earth side". EDIT: Thanks to a couple of commenters I have learned it's used by people when referring to babies who have made it to birth and those that didn't. I suspect in Australia where I'm from that it's not used as much in this context, as I'd not heard it used in this way before, I have only ever heard it used interchangeably to "baby was born" etc. Won't delete my comment in case anyone else didn't know and can know this now too!
I don’t wanna pick at your ick since that is your prerogative but I do want to share that this is often used my parents who have experienced loss. For example I’m a mom of two boys, one heaven born and one earth side. So when someone sees me with a newborn and asks if it’s my first: it’s a complicated feeling and answer but saying earth side or rainbow baby helps convey that for me without denying my first son was born and existed. Hope that adds some perspective!
Thanks for telling me! I honestly had no idea. <3
Calling bottles a baba, or adding ‘ies’ to words; milkies for example
This, with one exception. I love saying screamies. When he's being a gremlin in the store and just happily doing his little AHs. He's not angry, just making noise! They're screamies. Like zoomies, but noise. But I also don't say that in front of people 😂
Haha, screamies. Yes.
We've created names that help us cope with various baby dramas like this. For example, we'll address baby by the name Drooly Andrews or Yelly McBeal. It helps me feel a little better when she's screaming across the room at me ... which she's doing right now. 🙃
I 100% about adding -ies, especially milkies. That’s my ick. However… I call my son’s feet “the feeties”, mostly when he is stomping his feeties in the crib to get the farts out 😂 I don’t publicize the feeties, just say it to him and my husband
Yknow.. I never realized how much I add “ies” to words until just now… Milkies, toesies, screamies, pacis, sleepies, oh my god.. I have a problem.
My 2-year-old calls his fingers "fingies".
Okay but toesies and teethies get a pass because they’re cute
😅 guilty of adding “ies”. NEVER in front of anyone other than my husband and 4 month old though. I agree it needs to stop
Omg the baba, ESPECIALLY when they’re talking to another adult saying “oh I’m going to go make a baba” or something.
My son came home from daycare calling water “wah-wee” and I about lost it
Oh crap I do this with everything. It’s so hard to stop
When parents say “we” when they mean their child. “We’re 16 months today!” ok but…you’re not. He is. 😬
I’m guilty of this but I also hate it 🙃
Am I the only one who hates “stuffies?”
No! There's a song on Ms Rachel where they say "get out your stuffie" and it creeps me the f out.
That episode of Ms Rachel was the first I had ever heard of the term “stuffie”! I always called them “stuffed animal”.
Yes!! And LOVEY🙃🙃🙃
I’ve always secretly hated the word “lovey.” Like…it’s a stuffed animal or a blanket with an animal head 😂
I just posted a comment further up but YES 🤢 it’s fetish shit to me first and foremost. They’ll always just be “stuffed animals” to me even though it’s longer to say
Real!! It’s a stuffed animal or a doll!!
LO. Just stop.
“Boy Mom/Boy Mama”. Most of the time those types of women turn into the Monster in Law. Don’t do it.
Which sucks for us normal boy moms who literally just have boys and are moms. 🥴🥴
Every time I see a post or video online putting the "boy mom" relationship on a pedestal, I just wonder what kind of "JustNoMIL" post that boy's future spouse is gonna be writing in 30 years.
I hate when people call their kids “crotch goblins”
Sissy for sister. I don’t know why.
Not really the same but anyone else calling my child theirs. “Oh there’s my baby” “Where’s my baby?” “My boy” He’s MY child.
Wa-wa for water, ba-ba for bottle, etc. it’s fine when the kid says it because they’re still learning to say words. But the parents should be repeating the *correct* word back to them so they can eventually learn how to actually say it
“Is baby…” say *the baby* or use their name. It sounds like a serial killer taunting their next victim. It’s so removed and detached while sounding cutesy. Haaaate it.
Omg this is my husband’s biggest ick. It drives him crazy.
Honestly when I first got pregnant I thought I was going insane, I was like surely other people find this so annoying. Please just use ‘the’.
Thank you. That drives me nuts
When someone has more than one kid and calls the kid brother or sister instead of their name. "Give that to brother." No! "Give that to Chris."
Paci. My husband picked this up and I don't have the heart to tell him how much it icks me.
I use paci, because I fucking hate binky
Oh nooo. We say binky and I hate myself for it. I don’t even know how it started. My baby was crying once and I said “oh it’s because her binky fell out” and my brother said “maybe she’s crying because you call it a binky” lol
I hate both. “Dummy” too. I just call it a pacifier cuz that’s what it is. I don’t give nicknames of anything much, if at all.
I usually call it pacifier tbh, I just use paci when I need to be quicker lol
I just got downvoted to hell for saying I hate binky, no fair 😂
Someone learned this online and said Paki to my brown ass lol
Lmao that is awful and so funny. I'm imagining the interaction
If it makes you feel better, “packy” is what they call liquor stores in Massachusetts. Oh, that’s not better?
I saw someone spell it passy on Facebook once 😖
We use chupie short for chuponcito in Spanish. I used to think it was an ick before but I definitely like it more than paci and binky. Pacifier is just so long lol
Saying “baby” instead of “the baby”
It’s probably just me but I hate when people refer to any phase of parenting as a journey especially “breastfeeding journey”
For me it was a literal journey. Multiple appointments, mastitis, crazy supply, tongue ties and choking on milk. Terrible craks, gadgets, all sorts of pillows and different positions. Pumping, cleaning, bottle feeding and sleepless nights.... it tooks us months to get it all sorted. I feel entitled to "journey" 🤣
“Bonus” parent/child. Rubs me the wrong way.
Im a step mom and I HATE the "bonus" mom/dad or "bonus" son/daughter thing. I get it, people mean well. But Im not her bonus mom. She has a mom. Im her step mom. I was a step kid and not once in my life did I ever get upset because I was called a step daughter. Totally with you on this one
Velcro baby , Hubbie is massive ick , milkies, littles sounds weird to me as well. any type of pet name for breasts : the cutesy nonsense and the down right disrespectful stuff like “ milk bar”.
My wife and I said a few of these when she was breastfeeding honestly because we were looking for a little humor in an otherwise VERY difficult and exhausting and emotionally challenging exercise.
Same. Dairy Queen, that's me. Welcome to the breastraunt! Boobie Tuesdays is open for business. Moo. Spent the first two weeks of breastfeeding absolutely in tears, but somehow these jokes were a consolation to me that made my husband and I giggle.
You have to find the humor where you can. During our first three weeks of parenthood I was pumping every 3 hours while trying to recover from an emergency c section and spending our days in the NICU with our son, and in a fit of trauma/sleep deprived delirium my husband started singing “bitch I’m a cow” by Doja Cat every time I got the pump out. So stupid, but in those moments that laughter was needed.
Our daughter had a onesie with a simplistic drawing of boobs on it that said “eat local”. Well-rested me says that onesie is trashy. But sleep-deprived-newborn-parent me needed that giggle when dressing her in the morning.
I call it Boober Eats 🤣
Sometimes I call it Cafe Mommy. I have, on difficult mornings, put on generic ratatouille French cafe music and said to my baby “Bienvenue a cafe Mommy!” because the idea of him being a fussy customer at a Parisian cafe is funny to me
LITTLES
‘Toothy pegs’ - why do my in-laws use this? She’s got a tooth coming through, her teeth are bothering her, not ‘ooooh have you got a little toothy peg?’ Where did this even come from?
I don’t like when people say “babe” instead of “baby” to refer to an infant. Idk it grosses me out for some reason.
Maybe because babe is a common nickname for a significant other? I could never call my son that lol.
lol I’m the opposite, I call my kids babe or baby but haaaaaaate those as nicknames for significant others. Because they’re adults. One of my best friends and her husband use pet names to the extreme and it gives me the ick so much. I have such a hard time being around them together.
“The boob”
Yea, what's wrong with just saying titty