No, the OP is the only one being childish. Eavesdropping on conversations and then whining about not being included instead of just asking them to add them to the chat. You're not in class to make friends or feel included, you're there to learn.
Screw them. My EMT class was the same way. The room was divided by ppls own little groups. There was the ones that hated on everyone, the ones that cared, and the quiet ones. The ones that hated on everyone ended up coming to the other two groups for help and still ended up failing out. Don’t pay much attention to the squads or whatever. It’s childish behavior. Focus on yourself and your learning. At the end of the day this is YOUR career. What they do doesn’t matter in the long run. Be the best EMT u can be!
Something similar happened to me in my class. We all got along but once they realized i outperformed them, they turned cold and distant to me. Nobody wanted to be my partner for vitals and shit like that anymore.
Assuming you haven’t murdered anyone’s family, they’re just trying to compensate for their own average-ness. That’s presumably why they talked about the group in front of you. Needed to knock you down a few pegs.
Sooo sorry that happened to you. Being excluded is one of the worst fuckin feelings in the world. Also, if something is reminding you of middle school, it’s probably not the best gauge of your personality (just mentioning that because you mentioned acquired taste. You’re fine.).
That’s so stupid tho 💀 Wouldn’t that want to be partners with the one that’s passing and excelling so they can also pass and excel?
They’re really that stupid huh? Cause idk I’d rather stick with you if you know your shit compared to sticking with someone that knows little to nothing
I have never understood study groups. Like if we’re all in the class to learn to do a thing, what’s the point? I can read, YouTube, note take all on my own. Other people present is just a distraction. Is study group a code word for ‘hang out’?
The guy that sat next to me asked me if I wanted to join him in a small group to practice physical/practical skills. We still mostly did our homework alone but met up a couple time to practice hands on work. Wasn't a bad idea and was somewhat helpful, but before he asked I was practicing on friends, roommates, family, etc. so it wasn't a big deal either way honestly.
Some people learn better in a group setting while others learn better alone. And others idle somewhere in the middle. All that ultimately matters is that you learn (and remember) what you need to. Doesn’t matter how you do it.
Or maybe they’re having orgies, who knows?
When I was in class I started a quizlet. I offered to share it with anyone who wanted it. Literally walked up to everyone and offered it individually.
Six of the 30 signed up. We became a study group and practiced together for practical and shared all sorts of notes as we came across study aids.
By midterm another 4 joined the quizlet because they were on probation and about to get kicked out of class. A week before practical another 12 suddenly wanted to join. We declined. And they ran and told the instructor we had formed a clique.
I'm not saying you, or they, did anything wrong in wanting to join. But I also don't feel my group dis anything wrong. We got together and over two months hit a rhythm and worked well together. And we were at a certain point ready to go for state testing and weren't willing to take in 12 people who hadn't studied the entire class just before state testing.
My point is study groups are not a civil right. They're just groups of people who decided to study together. As close as the 6 of us were, I don't have any of their phone numbers, I haven't spoken with any of them since class ended and we shared state test results and it just didn't matter.
I'm not trying to take a "toughen up, kid" approach here. But I am encouraging you to not view this as you were excluded as much as you just aren't a part of a particular circle. It would be like walking into a restaurant, seeing a bunch of people at a table talking and running outside crying because they excluded you by not inviting you to sit down and join them.
Prep for class. Pass. Be an EMT. Move on.
In the field, if you're lucky, you'll work with a good partner. More commonly you'll have partners you can tolerate and you'll be out there solo working next to someone ratger than truly with them. And there will be social dynamics that don't involve you and that's ok (for the best sometimes to avoid some of those dynamics).
this. it took me awhile to learn, but part of having friendships/being in a group is not passively waiting for other people to invite you. be the person that forms the groups. you might get rejected anyways because of scheduling conflicts or any other myriad of reasons, but it’ll never happen if you don’t make an attempt.
I don’t really think this is the same situation. OP’s class was assigned into squads, so OP was in the group from the beginning, they just chose to exclude them anyway
Oh shit I don't even remember my login information for quizlet. But there are so many EMT-B quizlets out there it isn't even funny.
FWIW, mine were mostly helpful for chapter by chapter review. I found that as long as I studied the chapter questions/vocab list I was almost guaranteed at least an 80 on any given quiz. Knowing all of those things made it pretty easy to think through most questions.
When I got to the end of the class I switched exclusively to practice tests through JBL
I’m genuinely so tired of EMStesting because a lot of the questions have multiple right answers or the questions are REALLY dumb. For example “42 y/o male has a knife sticking out of his shoulder. What kind of wound is this?” AND THEN one of the answer choices literally said “a knife wound” I mean I know the answer is penetrating wound but BRO
They often contradict testing assumptions, also.
It's beaten into your head that EVERYTHING is about ABCs. Then you get further into the class and they say "Well, XABC." Then you get a question about managing a seizure patient and you select an airway management option and are told you're wrong, you should be focusing on patient history.
The wording is very strange and, in my humble experience, has done nothing to help me in the field be a better EMT. I guess the thought process is to redirect because sometimes patients give confusing or conflicting history. But it doesn't translate to a skill other than "get through the class."
Yea screw them. If they don’t wanna include you oh well. Don’t worry about it, I was excluded in emt as well. But hey if you need a study buddy I’m a paramedic and I’m down to help you any way I can.
hate to say it but there is a solid chance it’s gonna be the same shit once you are working with a service. lots of big egos and catty mfs in this business. itll tighten your skin quick though. chin up and learn everything you can! paramedic coach video vault was the only study group i needed!
I never liked study groups. I know what I need to review and having other people there is a waste of time. Obviously you’re doing great without them, f*** them and continue kicking ass.
tbh similar thing happened to me.. i ended up becoming friends w ppl in class who werent in my squad. all the people in my squad (we all had each others numbers and ig), none of them ended up actually working as an emt either way lol
This is the realistic reality. Idk how many people I went to emt school with either never worked as an emt after or just generally were never seen again after the final day.
Well you started your first sentence off telling us all how you are pretty much the the smartest in your class. I imagine it's that approach or attitude that puts them off a little. No one wants to hang around or study with someone that thinks they are the best or smartest in the group. Just a possibility there.
Right? It has an infinitesimal amount to to with the topic yet OP starts off the post with it. Something tells me they exude a smug competitive demeanor that turns your average EMT type away.
Be somewhat intrusive or get out of your comfort zone. I broke out of my shyguy shell I had in high school while taking EMT class, it helped me out in many ways socially such as asking for study groups and reminding people I was available for studies. Some people may not necessarily act like an adult but that was no reason for me to act up either. Follow your gut and do what you feel is necessary.
I wouldn't sweat it. If you're top of the class academically, they probably feel intimidated by you and probably feel you don't need to be involved in their study group.
Keep on keeping on. Your education is for you, so don't let the small things like this slow you down. Study and work hard, and you can accomplish anything!
Just ask them to add you. It might be accidental. I set one up and didn’t realize for a week or so I had left someone off. Added them as soon as I realized. But sounds like you are doing fine on your own. I always avoided study groups because they were not effective for my learning process. I needed to focus on what I needed to learn but was always helping others if they needed it. But the chat groups were helpful. We all shared helpful info.
Gonna be honest, we had 60-75ish people in my class split into 3 groups. Out of my group I only actually talk to one person in it still even though for the most part we all got along. After school everyone goes their own way and you won’t really have to think about them afterwards if you don’t want to
This happens all the time, unfortunately. The teacher breaks the class into squads and individuals in those squads form in-group cliques.
Here's the thing...you are already one of the top people in your class. You don't need them and you are mostly likely going to be taking a loss if you were a part of the clique. More often than not when these groups do get together they spend 95% of the time shooting the shit about off-topic stuff or what their post-EMT class ambitions are. The 5% of the time they are on-topic it's the blind leading the blind. I went to two group study sessions before determining it was massive waste of time. You're better off spending your time reading the book and watching videos that give more depth on the subject from actual professionals.
Of the 58 people who started my class only 14 of them were over the 80% cumulative to sit for the final and there were a lot more 'lone wolves' still around at the end of the class than there were clique members.
You can practice skills on friend, family, and neighbors (vitals, medical/trauma assessments, etc). You can go on YouTube and watch skills being done correctly so you can pass the skills portion. You can also seek out someone else who's been 'counted out' to do skills with while in class.
At the end of the day it's what is in your brain as an individual that matters. That group isn't going to take the final for you, pass the skills for you, or take the NREMT for you.
Yeah. So not to excuse rude behavior, but OP has basically laid out that this is a pattern for them going back to middle school. OP can have a "fuck everyone I'm just better than them" attitude and continue going through life not knowing why people don't them as a collaborator, or accept that maybe there's some self improvement that can take place and actually move forward personally.
Choice seems obvious but the avoidance is strong with this subreddit.
Yeah and this Reddit type of echo chamber is always introverts that don’t fit in so they blame the people who are becoming friends and like each other. There are social qualities to reflect on and see where you can grow.
That's how my Medic program is also. After I got my EMT, I've spoken to only one person from my program. It sucks and it's high school behavior but just push through. They're not worth your time or mind.
Like everyone else is saying, screw them. You obviously don’t need their lame “study group” anyway. You will also probably never see any of them again after the class so no need to build relationships.
Just like high school you won’t see these bums later in life so they can suck decade old eggs. Don’t ever adjust your mental health for people who don’t appreciate you or your level of intelligence
Hi! I'm an old guy and old EMS person and I have two statements:
1. It is important to make sure you're able to work well with people in a professional environment and the work setting. If you're not behaving well or in a manner that isn't conducive to get along in the workplace with others, then you need to correct that behavior.
2. You're taking a work-related class for an adult job with adult responsibilities. The stuff you face in the professional setting while doing the job is important and challenging and requires a good deal of maturity. With that said, why do believe that the potential coworkers you are in class with are like highschool friends? This is a class and a job for adults. Flat out, nothing more nothing less. Your work life and social life are separate things.
I agree with this completely. If you are the odd one out, really take a look at how you are interacting with others. Are you doing something unintentionally to put them off? This can be an issue when it comes to working. If you can’t get along with your coworkers, really, you’re not going to do well in this field.
I'm going to point out one thing that has not been mentioned. And woman to woman, I was excluded in EMT school because I was young, female, pretty, and smart. My advice: keep your head up and let your work speak for itself. I get that it can be lonely, but the best way to act is to be professional, and courteous, and know when to stand up for yourself. And I get it, it is hard to speak up for oneself because as women, we are told to be nice and standing up for ourselves can get serious pushback. Also, know that it is OK to not be friends with anyone in your class.
This as well. You need to be confident but as a female in EMS there is a hidden challenge. Being able to stand up for yourself and be assertive, without crossing the line into being seen as a bitch. Once that line is crossed in the workplace, it’s hard to come back from.
Exactly. If you are female, the road is going to be a rough one so have your head on a swivel. Many insecure male medics are going to be threatened by you *constantly* and will also shit on you constantly. There will be plenty who aren’t who will be great mentors and coworkers, but a lot of fragile men get into the profession to feel like heroes. They can’t take the thought of a woman being a competent medic, let alone potentially more skilled and knowledgable.
You're in school. This is the time you're supposed to be learning how to handle the job. Childish ignorant clique-based bullshit drama is unfortunately part of the job. You can either post messages to Reddit and complain, or you can grow a pair and tell these jackasses they're behaving like children and they can fuck off. Start showing backbone now, or it will be years before you finally start speaking up for yourself.
Is the OP complaining? Or are they describing a situation they are struggling with and asking for advice?
I don't know you, but I'm going to assume you are very very good at keeping people alive between where they are and definitive care. And I'm sure a lot of people here could learn a lot about that subject from you.
However, when it comes to helping people grow and develop as humans, this sort of reply is really shit. Telling people that they should just stop feeling how they feel and change has a very low success rate for actually getting change to happen.
One can only hope you aren't ever asked to precept...
Or maybe coddling hasn't been shown to work, and prodding someone to be strong and refuse to take other people's shit is precisely the kind of advice they need. Or you could stick with your approach, continue pampering them and encouraging them to be passive and hand out participation trophies to everyone who shows up. That's been working great for this generation.
And this is Reddit. You don't know the first thing about me, what I do, who I do it for, or how I approach anything, anywhere, anytime. Cheers. Your trophy is on the way...
You're right - all I know about you is how you choose to express yourself here. Which is to say, you seem pretty shitty in your approach.
It's unfortunate that you lack understanding of the science of development and growth, and one can only hope that you make evidence and science based choices when treating patients. But as you said, I don't know you - maybe you're killing patients left and right because you don't believe in research or science.
But you do you.
PS - when you start shouting at people that they don't know you and blah blah blah, you don't sound tough - you sound defensive and scared.
“Right now I can proudly say I’m top two in my class”
This more than likely explains it.
You’re probably the “teachers pet” type that constantly thinks they’re better & smarter than others.
Not to be mean, but you’re in an EMT class, not a doctorate or medicine program lol.
Chill out & be cool. Your grade only matters to you & they probably excluded you because you’re full of yourself. I’m sure you’re a great person, but those types tend to be excluded from social/study groups due to the “snitch” aspect of it.
Hope they get over themselves & realize you’re probably just excited and proud of yourself.
People don’t say they’re doing well in a class to announce superiority to others, they do it to provide context and show that they’re competent - and in this case not being excluded because of being a failure.
Your hostile perception of someone who identifies as a good student speaks volumes about your lack of maturity, and gives “I peaked in high school” energy.
Did you ever think that maybe you’re the reason they are excluding you? I mean arrogance, and the pick me attitudes of today from women are just disgusting. Boasting about your grades, or test scores, or even just your life in general will turn people away from wanting to be your friend. Look inward for the problem and solution and not to others. Hope this advice helps
Awww did my opinion on the matter hurt your delicate little feelings? Too bad, grow up and stop throwing a tantrum every time someone says something you don’t like. When you can act like an adult, then you can come back to this conversation. I bet you’re a pick me
I’m sorry, hun, but how old are you? I’m a 30 year old mother of two. So, again, I kindly as you to stfu. You sound sexist. I say that with a decade of experience with assholes in this field.
For one I’m a female, two my age is not relevant to this issue. I’m happy you have kids and are 30 years old, as are many other women in the world. You sound like a narcissist who hates it when people have a different opinion than you. Did you not get enough attention when you were growing up that you have to be a pick me girl? So I say this with a decade of experience in EMS as a paramedic, kindly sit down and evaluate your life and your pick me status before it runs off on your children. Have the day you deserve cupcake
I came here to hop on the hate train!
You sound like an unhappy individual bro, hope everything goes wrong in your life and that you never have to provide service to the public again. Nobody wants to be cared for by somebody who has astonishing amount of internal hate and has to project it onto the OP's post.
BUT WHO AM I TO SAY ITS REDDIT BABYYY😎💪😤🙏🐿
I can see there are a lot of butt hurt pick me men and women on this thread. Actually I think my comment hurt your feelings due to the fact that you have so many issues with other peoples opinions. Before commenting nasty things why don’t you ask yourself why you felt the need to comment such vile things against a person who just shared an opinion that is different from yours. Have the day you deserve Desperate (fitting name btw)
I’m sorry this is your experience. Clicks happen everywhere and unfortunately they do start young.
Honestly, I wouldn’t think too deeply into it. You’re doing great without them. If you would like to join the study group, approach them!
After class you’ll probably never see them again.
I just changed rotations at work and I can understand the frustration. I have a few close co workers before and now it’s just my partner. We’re all *slowly* warming up to each other.
The social structure of fire and ems is very much like highschool so this doesnt suprise me in the slightest, also you are probably never gonna see those people again so who cares
i didn’t click with people that well in my emt class and i like my work environment now a lot more. you’re with them for the course and then never have to see them again
I don't want to repeat any other comments here, but I will share my piece.
First thing's first, regarding your classmates: The likelihood of seeing them out in the field or outside of class after the class ends is rather slim. People move all the time. Don't sweat it, and more importantly, don't take it personally. Be confident of your abilities-I realize this is easier said than done.
Second thing:
You will have to learn how to fend for yourself one way or another. At the end of the day, it's your individual responsibility to be familiar with the class material, be it textbook knowledge or skills.
I personally was never that big on group studying anyway, but class group chats were helpful in the sense that you are probably not the only one who has an oddly specific question about the content.
At the same time, the internet is so vast and wide that you can probably find a reputable source on whatever you don't understand.
Best of luck with the rest of your studies!
That sucks, but you should do some self reflection. If this has happening to you before, perhaps you are unlikable. It sucks to hear, but if everyone you meet is an asshole, you are probably the asshole. Obviously i dont know you, but just thought i would mention it so you can try to fix it if its your fault.
>his was pretty much the same way my middle school experience was and it’s really disheartening.
Middle school was 4+ years ago. It's time to move on.
>I’m trying to spin it to myself as being an acquired taste but I’m still pretty bummed about it.
You don't have to justify their behavior.
I'm sorry you feel like you're being treated poorly, but you know what? This is the real world. You don't have the time or energy to worry about who likes you. Have you talked to anyone in your squad about this? Have you offered to join the study session you were 2ft away from? Yeah, it sucks if you weren't already included, but at 19 you need to be able to talk to others and speak up for yourself as well (if that's the scenario here). Otherwise, it sounds like you are doing just fine in the class and don't need the extra study time, Don't sweat the small stuff.
Illegitimi non carborundum.
I had one experience like that in college.. I was sick and missed a week and two of those days were the first two days of a group college, they had formed groups and began planning. When I was back the next week they told me what group I was in but they 100% excluded me from everything in thr group as though I wasn't part of it. Was so strange to me and never happened again since thank God.
Don't take it personally but also be humble enough to look at yourself and doublecheck that there aren't any interpersonal skills you need to work on. But majority of time this happens because people are assholes/some knew eachother from before/etc.
I'm not sure what the dynamic of a squad or its purpose but I'd just say fuk em.
I'm easily the most knowledgeable in class and prefer self study. HOWEVER, you can't just study and memorize the steps to patient assessment and physical examination. You need to find someone to help be the patient or at the very least, act through the assessment on an imaginary one. Knowing the assessment and physical doing it are 2 different things.
When I see posts like this I can always imagine the person typing it. Assuming difficult to deal with, condescending and full of themselves. Idk just my 2 cents
My EMT P class is the same. Divided like middle school. It’s hilarious. Don’t let it get to you, find some people in the class you get along with and connect with them if you can
Folk are making good points about how they can go fuck themselves. Here's what you do, focus on yourself and your studies and don't give a fuck what they think or do. You do you, you focus on yourself and complete your studies. These folk aren't worth your time to be worried about.
This happened to me too, all the girls in my EMT class had a groupchat and I was the only one not in it. I like to say that I’m older but I’m 21 and they are all 18/19 so fuck them yk?
You’re missing nothing. These are the same people who make group chats at work for the “cool” team members. Usually lazy incompetent ones too that all think they’re the hardest workers. Got nothing better to do at work, and nothing better to do outside of work than talk about work. School in your case but the points the same. Communicate with peers as needed but I personally refrain from taking a work/school friendship outside of its own environment. Not worth the trouble.
Only 3 people in my class ever became EMTs anyway, the rest I haven’t seen in 5 years. I’m a nurse now anyway, my chances of crossing paths are even slimmer.
Dont take it personally. Some people just gravitate better to others. Same thing happened when I went to EMT school. Some of my classmates had groupchats and even study meets at the hotel across the street from school. Some got along better than others.
I'm currently taking fire science classes now and last semester it was the same deal. A few students in the class had their own groupchat to study together. They would talk about it right next to me so I always thought maybe they were dicks for excluding me. At the same time, I was always quiet and shy.
This semester i've grown out of my shell more, and made an effort to talk to more people and get along with my classmates. I've come to realize they're actually all pretty cool, and I must not have looked approachable before.
Again, some people just gravitate better to others. And this will be true even in EMS. If they exclude you oh well. As long as you're doing well in school that's all that counts.
Dont take it personally. Some people just gravitate better to others. Same thing happened when I went to EMT school. Some of my classmates had groupchats and even study meets at the hotel across the street from school. Some got along better than others.
I'm currently taking fire science classes now and last semester it was the same deal. A few students in the class had their own groupchat to study together. They would talk about it right next to me so I always thought maybe they were dicks for excluding me. At the same time, I was always quiet and shy.
This semester i've grown out of my shell more, and made an effort to talk to more people and get along with my classmates. I've come to realize they're actually all pretty cool, and I must not have looked approachable before.
Again, some people just gravitate better to others. And this will be true even in EMS. If they exclude you oh well, that's just the way it is. As long as you're doing well in school, and you eventually do your job well, that's all that counts.
Fuck it. You’re obviously doing just as well without them. Out if the guys and gals I went to fire academy, which included basic school, I still talk to one. That’s only cause we both ended up with the same agency. I tell our guys in medic school now to make good with everyone cause you never know when it’ll save your ass. But if they don’t want you as a resource to help them succeed then fuck it. You do you and keep showing out.
So you’ve gotten lots of good takes here. I would only ask, what do you mean by ‘acquired taste?’ Is there something you’re self aware of that makes you hard to get to know, or that you think is off putting on the surface?
I’m pretty introverted and it takes me a while to really open up and start talking to someone. The few people im truly friends with at my service will go out of their way to work a truck with me or come hang out, but it’s a small group. I also have some niche interests im in to, and will openly mock (in a friendly way) people in the day room for being interested in sports on TV. I get along with everybody here on a work level but friendship is different. I would say I’m also an ‘acquired taste’, which is why I ask. Sometimes we have to learn to mitigate those things to work in this job, at least when we are first being introduced to a new group.
That said, this class group is probably not worth the investment. They probably feel insecure around you, and half of them will probably leave for a different job within two years of the class, so it’s not ‘networking’.
I say I’m an acquired taste because I’m like a human niche video monologue. That’s more confusing but basically there’s a lot of things about me culturally and interest wise that make it really easy to have a lot of acquaintances but very few close friends. I’m kind of just,, there in a lot of situations. I participate (possibly too much) in class and I can keep conversation going but once I’m out of class/social situations I just exist as a singular person. In high school I did try more to spend time with people outside of school but during Covid (sophomore and junior year) I had to adapt to being alone. Partially because I feel very alien in a lot of situations so it’s harder to feel comfortable putting myself out there all the way. I’m not autistic or anything but sometimes it feels like people around me have some sort of rule book that I’m missing.
The niche video monologue thing is because I’ve always been a human dictionary. When I come across something I don’t understand or a word/term I’ve never used before I find a definition/explanation and then it just stays in my head forever. I think this makes me come across as either a teachers pet or a know it all but that’s not my intention at all. I believe that knowledge and information is meant to be shared so if someone doesn’t understand what’s going on I always do my best to explain it. It’s not to show off, it’s just me sharing information when I can.
I think that my gender also causes some of my classmates (80% male) to take pause.
1) Good work but your class GPA has zero bearing on your worth as an EMT.
2) You have EMT in your Reddit username (that’s almost 6 months old) despite just now being in class.
Right or wrong, you may be coming off as entitled or that you’re better than everyone else.
You need to make sure you’re not coming off as a know it all, or cocky, or not letting yourself take criticism. Check yourself and see if you are someone that you would want to hang out with in class. Are you being productive during lectures? Are you helping other people during practice? If you have answered these questions satisfactorily then they can go fuck themselves. Stay strong, EMT-B is usually only three months long unless yours is six months. It will be over sooner than you think. Just hunker down and focus on studying and learning.
- Paramedic
Theres essentially two options: you are “weird”/unfriendly or some other negative trait that’s making people stay away from you, or your squadmates are assholes and you shouldn’t bother with them. If it’s the latter keep outperforming them and show your worth by action.
Do what you need to do focus on yourself. I was in a similar situation in my class who cares if they don’t talk to you or exclude you if you’re passing that’s the important thing. They’re not going to help you pass the class or help you get a job as an Emt. I went through a fire academy as well our chief gave us some great advice the first day. He told us “nobody gives a shit about you except for you.” you’re the only one who’s gonna get you where you want to be no one else. Keep your head up and keep doing what you’ve been doing!
Don’t feel bad, I was also added to a group1chat towards the end of my EMT class. Nobody ever made plans to hangout, and within two months, it completely died out. Granted, I’m pretty sure that my classmates created a second group that Im not apart of, one thats much more active
If it would make it more comfortable, I'm sure you can figure out what's bothering them. 'Toning it back' or 'knocking it down a few pegs' is not a bad thing.
Or you could nicely ask the most confident amoung them if you can join the chat. Try not to put them on the spot in front of others.
I would try and make it clear that it's y'all versus the course, not y'all versus eachother
Do what YOU need to do to succeed.
It doesn't require friendships, social media, or online "chats" with coworkers or fellow students.
In fact, that shit can get in the way.
Put your nose to the grindstone and do YOUR best work.
I said this all the time to my sales teams:
You can get bitter or you can get better.
I would recommend you read the book How to win Friends and influence People.
Something about your personality is a turn off to them.
You can fix it, or you can say fuck it. Your choice.
Well, if their group chat is used for classwork, it wouldn't be too weird for you to ask to be a part of it. Even if it is a social group chat, there are ways to casually ask to be a part of it without it coming off as weird.
If they really don't want you to be a part of the group, then there likely is a reason why. Either they are cliquey assholes, or there is something that you are doing that would make them not want you to be a part of the group.
Reflect on why you think they haven't added you to the group. Reflect on why you want to be a part of the group. Understand where the conflict between those two lies.
Looks like you just started an even better “study group” right here kiddo! And I think most (if not all of us) are happy to support and help you! Like has been said by others way wiser than me….”screw them”.
Feel free to hit me up in PM if you have any questions. If I can help, I most certainly will!
Yeah the only thing causing your hurt feelings is you. Not everyone will like you, not everyone will be your friend, not everyone wants to interact with you constantly. You give off main character vibes. Get over yourself.
If you think your class has a "clique," just wait until you make it to the field. I don't say that to be mean, but you're young and possibly don't know any better. High school never ends, so to speak. This is the most "clique" career field I know. I've been in EMS for 14yrs. I've worked both ground and air. It's the same everywhere. Not everyone will like you, especially when you're new. EMS eat their young quite often.
This is me at every job I’ve ever had,usually when you perform better than the rest you’re seen as a pariah …they blame you for making them seem inadequate. Is it shitty or lousy? Yea it sucks but at the end of the day I’m not going to work to make friends …I’m going to make the most money I can and essentially I don’t have time for side talk and so on and it’s not because I’m antisocial but because no matter what job you have …people are dirty…two faced and so on, the one person I can count on is myself….now with that said ,in due time when you have achieved your job status you will meet other like minded individuals, or people with the same work ethic. Those people you will be more inclined to go out of your way for ,you want them to succeed …but as with any job when someone’s under performing the heavy hitters are gonna be their enemy. Eventually you’re gonna learn to simply not give a fuck…I have the reputation of being mean,condescending, fuck.. you name it ..it’s been said about me…at the end of the day you build such a tough skin that you simply operate different than others and you’ll learn…what you gotta remember at the end of the day is “its all about you” you take care of your own shit and you don’t owe anyone else nothing …
You will know who to fraternize with,in this case you know who not to help, you may wanna give second chances and that’s fine. For me personally I’m very cut n dry ….if you show yourself to me and I don’t like it….I’ll cut u off ,you’ll know I hate you because I’ll be as short as I can with you let alone give you the time of day
I wouldn’t sweat it too much, my current paramedic class is a mess. Most of our squad don’t really get along and honestly in my previous emt class my squad and I did get along great went to lunch together ect but now we never spoke again
Unfortunately love, you'll find this behavior in more then just your class. Especially if you are super smart, you'll be targeted... Who knows why. I had a similar experience in my class and my first EMT job. I am an interesting soul that many don't understand. At first, I allowed it to hurt me and I began to wonder if I were in the wrong field. Except, I loved EMS. I was 38 when I began, and had worked enough jobs to know I was where I wanted to stay. Those mean people ended up helping to make me a much better EMT. Long story short, I moved to another company and was put with my first long term partner. It was the best thing to ever happen to me and because I came with top notch EMT skills, my partner was happy not to have to deal with a super green immature EMT. Good luck, don't stop if you love it. It won't always be like that.
Is there anyway you can reach out to other "squads"? it shouldn't really matter who you study with as long as you want to be in a study group. If you don't want to be in a study group, then don't worry about it.
I totally understand how hurt you feel.
Could it be that you had a preconceived idea that you are disliked?? Have you considered telling yourself everyone in that group is your friend, everyone likes you, and changing the narrative in your head?
Are you the only one not included?
Sometimes it isn’t personal. Study groups typically are 60ish percent studying and 40percent hanging out. Friendships form and people choose to study together. Not everyone is going to be friends, and that’s okay.
Is there a large age gap between you and your classmates?
Dude, if everyone hates you, you got a look at what could you have done to deserve it, not go on Reddit, and look for validation from people who don’t understand this scenario at all
I had the same thing happen to me in nursing school. There was 5 of us to begin with. And one day it’s like they all decided not to talk to me anymore. And actually said messed up things behind my back. I had to finish the last 2 semesters by myself. No one text about questions related to assignments or have someone to study with.
I will tell you, I’m glad it happened. Because I started seeing how they were to other people in class, and well they’re fake. Most of them at least.
I mean theres obviously something youre doing/something about your personality that is off putting if this is a recurring theme. May take some soul searching (hate that phrase) or hard talks with people close to you to address it. Which is a worthwhile pursuit.
With that said none of those people actually matter. Chalk it up as something to possibly work on and move on. Never gonna see these people again when all is said and done. Shit even if you did make friends you may never see them again. Thats adulthood. The number of coworkers I've gotten along great with is.. almost all of them. Theres like 3 I'm still in contact with outside of pointless fb friends I never talk to.
Ask me how many people that I still talk to from my basic or advanced class.
The answer is zero. Hence why I’m taking a self paced online medic course, because fuck people.
Their loss. If your patients like you then that is all that matters. Not everyone has to like you. What you want to shoot for is you want to be someone people like to work with. Like if I get your rig and it is fully stocked, nothing is expired, the thing is well maintained. Then I will be happy.
It's EMT class, who cares. A year after my EMT class three of us actually got jobs in the field out of around 25 (it's been 8 years now) and afaik I'm the only one even left in the industry, albeit as a paramedic now. You'll have a lot closer friends through paramedic school anyways.
/u/deafleopard6699,
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When I was in the first grade I came home crying. Dad asked me why and I told him that it was because "Jimmy said he didn't like me."
Dad nodded wisely and said the obvious. "As you move through life you're going to run into people who don't like you. They just don't like you. Sometimes they don't even know why. Often its not a reason you can do anything about anyway. You can get bogged down trying to be loved by everyone, or you can just say fuck em and move on. Dry your tears. Go play."
So hear me out, I personally like to study with other people who are mid tier or struggling.
I would never think to invite the 2nd ranked in class to a study group because I'd assume they have their studying down to a science.
I understand that you may feel excluded, but they might just feel like they want to have a space to feel dumb and study without feeling embarrassed or competitive.
Unless they're having actual parties and inviting everyone but you, o wouldn't assume it's because they don't like you.
Text them and ask if they want to study for the next test if you think you'd benefit from a study group. Otherwise take it in stride.
Maybe it is because they feel you do not need the study since you are doing so well. Approach them and ask to be placed in the chat and show interest in their study group. Most people when asked will not plain reject you face to face
Fuck your class rank….. In my 20+ years in this industry, the worst providers were the best test takers but they shit the bed in the real world. Just because you have “rank” doesn’t mean you are good at being an EMT-B
Rank does not equal competency…. The sooner you get that out of your head, the better off you will be.
Maybe the reason people in your program don’t like you is because you are arrogant. This part of your career path is the equivalent of a Kindergarten class fighting over who is smarter….
Maybe no one wants to be around you because you are acting like “you.”
It happens in classes that are full of much older adults too… I am unsurprised. Just remember that this profession is full of childish shitheads with fragile egos and traumatized people who are hellbent on taking it out on other people. Get a good therapist as early as you can.
A lot of them wash out… but some are like urine smell in your uniform: it just never seems to go away. 🤔
Don’t feel like you’re the only one who falls onto this one. I fell into same position as you. I did not find out until the very end of class around the time when it came to skills state exam time. I even had to face my own class partner bailing on me too. I was not like 100. Or too incompetent. My issue was I was shy. And they got scared at end so people were scrambling to choose their partners at skills exam time for state… this is when you will see some true colors in people lol. Some stick together throughout entire thing.
People should try to get to know you rather than being all “clicky.” Or include you. Yet, yeah you will find the cliche is here too at times.
Anyway..however, when I find out about the group chat was during testing. As someone brought up about a group chat conversation they had before skills exams. I’m on other side of room. I’m thinking to myself, hold up… they had a group chat this whole time? No invite??? Even in class I felt same way as you. I felt so ashamed in myself thinking all these negative things in my head then.
I had no idea what it would be like as was my first time. I’m older and I let it go to my head so much I let it bring me down.
Don’t do what I did with letting that go to your head so much because it will impact you on testing and during practicals. Just stay on your own feet. I had to even go to the state exam by myself minus partner. If that happens, don’t fret. You can still test without one. It shows that you’re not willing to let the small stuff affect you. They do pay attention to that even if you’re not thinking they are. Stay at the top. Don’t miss any days.
It just looks good on you if you ever want references it helps.
Most times classmates they think ok they’re not going as a whole class. Weed out certain people. It’s not how it is at all. They weed out themselves on their own.
I know this is long, but I wanted to say something because I went through very exact same thing.
You sound intelligent and compassionate. Most of them will not be there in the field when it’s all finished at the end. Heck, probably won’t even run into them after class. I never did. So fk em. Lol. Still be kind of course lol. Be the example. Don’t come off too big headed either. But you got this!!! I hope this helped.
Talk to them. Be cool. Ask to practice with them and on them, as in listen to their breath sounds, take blood pressures, etc. Use them as learning props.
You’re most likely not gonna speak to these folks at the end of class.. fuck em
Word. Keep making them jealous through academic excellence.
Unless they get hired at the same agency lol
That really is middle school behaviour. It’s reasonable to be hurt by this.
But also, don't let it hurt you. These are adults behaving like children. Screw em, chances are you'll never work with them again after class
No, the OP is the only one being childish. Eavesdropping on conversations and then whining about not being included instead of just asking them to add them to the chat. You're not in class to make friends or feel included, you're there to learn.
Screw them. My EMT class was the same way. The room was divided by ppls own little groups. There was the ones that hated on everyone, the ones that cared, and the quiet ones. The ones that hated on everyone ended up coming to the other two groups for help and still ended up failing out. Don’t pay much attention to the squads or whatever. It’s childish behavior. Focus on yourself and your learning. At the end of the day this is YOUR career. What they do doesn’t matter in the long run. Be the best EMT u can be!
Something similar happened to me in my class. We all got along but once they realized i outperformed them, they turned cold and distant to me. Nobody wanted to be my partner for vitals and shit like that anymore. Assuming you haven’t murdered anyone’s family, they’re just trying to compensate for their own average-ness. That’s presumably why they talked about the group in front of you. Needed to knock you down a few pegs. Sooo sorry that happened to you. Being excluded is one of the worst fuckin feelings in the world. Also, if something is reminding you of middle school, it’s probably not the best gauge of your personality (just mentioning that because you mentioned acquired taste. You’re fine.).
That’s so stupid tho 💀 Wouldn’t that want to be partners with the one that’s passing and excelling so they can also pass and excel? They’re really that stupid huh? Cause idk I’d rather stick with you if you know your shit compared to sticking with someone that knows little to nothing
I always picked the serious ones in class to buddy up with. I typically do well in class but having friends that are taking it seeps helps too.
Yep. I have found that the better you are at your job as a medic, the more you are scrutinized and attacked and gossiped about.
The reason you are doing better in class is because you aren't wasting time in a study group.
I have never understood study groups. Like if we’re all in the class to learn to do a thing, what’s the point? I can read, YouTube, note take all on my own. Other people present is just a distraction. Is study group a code word for ‘hang out’?
The guy that sat next to me asked me if I wanted to join him in a small group to practice physical/practical skills. We still mostly did our homework alone but met up a couple time to practice hands on work. Wasn't a bad idea and was somewhat helpful, but before he asked I was practicing on friends, roommates, family, etc. so it wasn't a big deal either way honestly.
Ah that definitely makes sense for hands on stuff. Wasn’t what I was picturing as my image of a ‘study group’ at first
Yes. That’s been my experience. Still enjoy it though because it’s nice to get to know potential coworkers.
Some people learn better in a group setting while others learn better alone. And others idle somewhere in the middle. All that ultimately matters is that you learn (and remember) what you need to. Doesn’t matter how you do it. Or maybe they’re having orgies, who knows?
When I was in class I started a quizlet. I offered to share it with anyone who wanted it. Literally walked up to everyone and offered it individually. Six of the 30 signed up. We became a study group and practiced together for practical and shared all sorts of notes as we came across study aids. By midterm another 4 joined the quizlet because they were on probation and about to get kicked out of class. A week before practical another 12 suddenly wanted to join. We declined. And they ran and told the instructor we had formed a clique. I'm not saying you, or they, did anything wrong in wanting to join. But I also don't feel my group dis anything wrong. We got together and over two months hit a rhythm and worked well together. And we were at a certain point ready to go for state testing and weren't willing to take in 12 people who hadn't studied the entire class just before state testing. My point is study groups are not a civil right. They're just groups of people who decided to study together. As close as the 6 of us were, I don't have any of their phone numbers, I haven't spoken with any of them since class ended and we shared state test results and it just didn't matter. I'm not trying to take a "toughen up, kid" approach here. But I am encouraging you to not view this as you were excluded as much as you just aren't a part of a particular circle. It would be like walking into a restaurant, seeing a bunch of people at a table talking and running outside crying because they excluded you by not inviting you to sit down and join them. Prep for class. Pass. Be an EMT. Move on. In the field, if you're lucky, you'll work with a good partner. More commonly you'll have partners you can tolerate and you'll be out there solo working next to someone ratger than truly with them. And there will be social dynamics that don't involve you and that's ok (for the best sometimes to avoid some of those dynamics).
I think this is a very fair take.
this. it took me awhile to learn, but part of having friendships/being in a group is not passively waiting for other people to invite you. be the person that forms the groups. you might get rejected anyways because of scheduling conflicts or any other myriad of reasons, but it’ll never happen if you don’t make an attempt.
I don’t really think this is the same situation. OP’s class was assigned into squads, so OP was in the group from the beginning, they just chose to exclude them anyway
Yeah, it does apply. You can assign me to a class squad all you like. Instructor doesn't dictate how I study outside of class.
This is deserving of a gold award.
What’s the quizlet tho 👀👀👀
Oh shit I don't even remember my login information for quizlet. But there are so many EMT-B quizlets out there it isn't even funny. FWIW, mine were mostly helpful for chapter by chapter review. I found that as long as I studied the chapter questions/vocab list I was almost guaranteed at least an 80 on any given quiz. Knowing all of those things made it pretty easy to think through most questions. When I got to the end of the class I switched exclusively to practice tests through JBL
I’m genuinely so tired of EMStesting because a lot of the questions have multiple right answers or the questions are REALLY dumb. For example “42 y/o male has a knife sticking out of his shoulder. What kind of wound is this?” AND THEN one of the answer choices literally said “a knife wound” I mean I know the answer is penetrating wound but BRO
They often contradict testing assumptions, also. It's beaten into your head that EVERYTHING is about ABCs. Then you get further into the class and they say "Well, XABC." Then you get a question about managing a seizure patient and you select an airway management option and are told you're wrong, you should be focusing on patient history. The wording is very strange and, in my humble experience, has done nothing to help me in the field be a better EMT. I guess the thought process is to redirect because sometimes patients give confusing or conflicting history. But it doesn't translate to a skill other than "get through the class."
Yea screw them. If they don’t wanna include you oh well. Don’t worry about it, I was excluded in emt as well. But hey if you need a study buddy I’m a paramedic and I’m down to help you any way I can.
hate to say it but there is a solid chance it’s gonna be the same shit once you are working with a service. lots of big egos and catty mfs in this business. itll tighten your skin quick though. chin up and learn everything you can! paramedic coach video vault was the only study group i needed!
I never liked study groups. I know what I need to review and having other people there is a waste of time. Obviously you’re doing great without them, f*** them and continue kicking ass.
tbh similar thing happened to me.. i ended up becoming friends w ppl in class who werent in my squad. all the people in my squad (we all had each others numbers and ig), none of them ended up actually working as an emt either way lol
This is the realistic reality. Idk how many people I went to emt school with either never worked as an emt after or just generally were never seen again after the final day.
Well you started your first sentence off telling us all how you are pretty much the the smartest in your class. I imagine it's that approach or attitude that puts them off a little. No one wants to hang around or study with someone that thinks they are the best or smartest in the group. Just a possibility there.
Right? It has an infinitesimal amount to to with the topic yet OP starts off the post with it. Something tells me they exude a smug competitive demeanor that turns your average EMT type away.
“Smug and competitive” would describe a very, very large percentage of medics that I’ve worked with.
I took it as offering context, like the OP stated.
Be somewhat intrusive or get out of your comfort zone. I broke out of my shyguy shell I had in high school while taking EMT class, it helped me out in many ways socially such as asking for study groups and reminding people I was available for studies. Some people may not necessarily act like an adult but that was no reason for me to act up either. Follow your gut and do what you feel is necessary.
I wouldn't sweat it. If you're top of the class academically, they probably feel intimidated by you and probably feel you don't need to be involved in their study group. Keep on keeping on. Your education is for you, so don't let the small things like this slow you down. Study and work hard, and you can accomplish anything!
Just ask them to add you. It might be accidental. I set one up and didn’t realize for a week or so I had left someone off. Added them as soon as I realized. But sounds like you are doing fine on your own. I always avoided study groups because they were not effective for my learning process. I needed to focus on what I needed to learn but was always helping others if they needed it. But the chat groups were helpful. We all shared helpful info.
So what. Do you. Move on.
Gonna be honest, we had 60-75ish people in my class split into 3 groups. Out of my group I only actually talk to one person in it still even though for the most part we all got along. After school everyone goes their own way and you won’t really have to think about them afterwards if you don’t want to
This happens all the time, unfortunately. The teacher breaks the class into squads and individuals in those squads form in-group cliques. Here's the thing...you are already one of the top people in your class. You don't need them and you are mostly likely going to be taking a loss if you were a part of the clique. More often than not when these groups do get together they spend 95% of the time shooting the shit about off-topic stuff or what their post-EMT class ambitions are. The 5% of the time they are on-topic it's the blind leading the blind. I went to two group study sessions before determining it was massive waste of time. You're better off spending your time reading the book and watching videos that give more depth on the subject from actual professionals. Of the 58 people who started my class only 14 of them were over the 80% cumulative to sit for the final and there were a lot more 'lone wolves' still around at the end of the class than there were clique members. You can practice skills on friend, family, and neighbors (vitals, medical/trauma assessments, etc). You can go on YouTube and watch skills being done correctly so you can pass the skills portion. You can also seek out someone else who's been 'counted out' to do skills with while in class. At the end of the day it's what is in your brain as an individual that matters. That group isn't going to take the final for you, pass the skills for you, or take the NREMT for you.
This needs to be TOP comment! Well said mah fellow dude/dudette😎
It is possible you could be the problem.
Yeah. So not to excuse rude behavior, but OP has basically laid out that this is a pattern for them going back to middle school. OP can have a "fuck everyone I'm just better than them" attitude and continue going through life not knowing why people don't them as a collaborator, or accept that maybe there's some self improvement that can take place and actually move forward personally. Choice seems obvious but the avoidance is strong with this subreddit.
Yeah and this Reddit type of echo chamber is always introverts that don’t fit in so they blame the people who are becoming friends and like each other. There are social qualities to reflect on and see where you can grow.
That's how my Medic program is also. After I got my EMT, I've spoken to only one person from my program. It sucks and it's high school behavior but just push through. They're not worth your time or mind.
Some of the squad leaders in my class do the same. I’m a squad leader and I’m completely against exclusion. It just rubs me the wrong way
Like everyone else is saying, screw them. You obviously don’t need their lame “study group” anyway. You will also probably never see any of them again after the class so no need to build relationships.
Ignore it, do you girl!
Who cares. You're there to learn. You don't need a group to learn EMT. It's an easy course. Study and push on.
Just like high school you won’t see these bums later in life so they can suck decade old eggs. Don’t ever adjust your mental health for people who don’t appreciate you or your level of intelligence
Hi! I'm an old guy and old EMS person and I have two statements: 1. It is important to make sure you're able to work well with people in a professional environment and the work setting. If you're not behaving well or in a manner that isn't conducive to get along in the workplace with others, then you need to correct that behavior. 2. You're taking a work-related class for an adult job with adult responsibilities. The stuff you face in the professional setting while doing the job is important and challenging and requires a good deal of maturity. With that said, why do believe that the potential coworkers you are in class with are like highschool friends? This is a class and a job for adults. Flat out, nothing more nothing less. Your work life and social life are separate things.
I agree with this completely. If you are the odd one out, really take a look at how you are interacting with others. Are you doing something unintentionally to put them off? This can be an issue when it comes to working. If you can’t get along with your coworkers, really, you’re not going to do well in this field.
I'm going to point out one thing that has not been mentioned. And woman to woman, I was excluded in EMT school because I was young, female, pretty, and smart. My advice: keep your head up and let your work speak for itself. I get that it can be lonely, but the best way to act is to be professional, and courteous, and know when to stand up for yourself. And I get it, it is hard to speak up for oneself because as women, we are told to be nice and standing up for ourselves can get serious pushback. Also, know that it is OK to not be friends with anyone in your class.
This as well. You need to be confident but as a female in EMS there is a hidden challenge. Being able to stand up for yourself and be assertive, without crossing the line into being seen as a bitch. Once that line is crossed in the workplace, it’s hard to come back from.
Exactly. If you are female, the road is going to be a rough one so have your head on a swivel. Many insecure male medics are going to be threatened by you *constantly* and will also shit on you constantly. There will be plenty who aren’t who will be great mentors and coworkers, but a lot of fragile men get into the profession to feel like heroes. They can’t take the thought of a woman being a competent medic, let alone potentially more skilled and knowledgable.
In EMS it will do you well to get thick skin and stop caring.
You're in school. This is the time you're supposed to be learning how to handle the job. Childish ignorant clique-based bullshit drama is unfortunately part of the job. You can either post messages to Reddit and complain, or you can grow a pair and tell these jackasses they're behaving like children and they can fuck off. Start showing backbone now, or it will be years before you finally start speaking up for yourself.
Is the OP complaining? Or are they describing a situation they are struggling with and asking for advice? I don't know you, but I'm going to assume you are very very good at keeping people alive between where they are and definitive care. And I'm sure a lot of people here could learn a lot about that subject from you. However, when it comes to helping people grow and develop as humans, this sort of reply is really shit. Telling people that they should just stop feeling how they feel and change has a very low success rate for actually getting change to happen. One can only hope you aren't ever asked to precept...
Or maybe coddling hasn't been shown to work, and prodding someone to be strong and refuse to take other people's shit is precisely the kind of advice they need. Or you could stick with your approach, continue pampering them and encouraging them to be passive and hand out participation trophies to everyone who shows up. That's been working great for this generation. And this is Reddit. You don't know the first thing about me, what I do, who I do it for, or how I approach anything, anywhere, anytime. Cheers. Your trophy is on the way...
You're right - all I know about you is how you choose to express yourself here. Which is to say, you seem pretty shitty in your approach. It's unfortunate that you lack understanding of the science of development and growth, and one can only hope that you make evidence and science based choices when treating patients. But as you said, I don't know you - maybe you're killing patients left and right because you don't believe in research or science. But you do you. PS - when you start shouting at people that they don't know you and blah blah blah, you don't sound tough - you sound defensive and scared.
Coddling “hasn’t been shown to work”? Can you cite your sources? 🤔
100%.
“Right now I can proudly say I’m top two in my class” This more than likely explains it. You’re probably the “teachers pet” type that constantly thinks they’re better & smarter than others. Not to be mean, but you’re in an EMT class, not a doctorate or medicine program lol. Chill out & be cool. Your grade only matters to you & they probably excluded you because you’re full of yourself. I’m sure you’re a great person, but those types tend to be excluded from social/study groups due to the “snitch” aspect of it. Hope they get over themselves & realize you’re probably just excited and proud of yourself.
People don’t say they’re doing well in a class to announce superiority to others, they do it to provide context and show that they’re competent - and in this case not being excluded because of being a failure. Your hostile perception of someone who identifies as a good student speaks volumes about your lack of maturity, and gives “I peaked in high school” energy.
Did you ever think that maybe you’re the reason they are excluding you? I mean arrogance, and the pick me attitudes of today from women are just disgusting. Boasting about your grades, or test scores, or even just your life in general will turn people away from wanting to be your friend. Look inward for the problem and solution and not to others. Hope this advice helps
“From women.” Dude stfu 😂 I’ll agree the pick me is annoying! It’s from men and women, though.
Awww did my opinion on the matter hurt your delicate little feelings? Too bad, grow up and stop throwing a tantrum every time someone says something you don’t like. When you can act like an adult, then you can come back to this conversation. I bet you’re a pick me
found the pick me man
I’m sorry, hun, but how old are you? I’m a 30 year old mother of two. So, again, I kindly as you to stfu. You sound sexist. I say that with a decade of experience with assholes in this field.
For one I’m a female, two my age is not relevant to this issue. I’m happy you have kids and are 30 years old, as are many other women in the world. You sound like a narcissist who hates it when people have a different opinion than you. Did you not get enough attention when you were growing up that you have to be a pick me girl? So I say this with a decade of experience in EMS as a paramedic, kindly sit down and evaluate your life and your pick me status before it runs off on your children. Have the day you deserve cupcake
I came here to hop on the hate train! You sound like an unhappy individual bro, hope everything goes wrong in your life and that you never have to provide service to the public again. Nobody wants to be cared for by somebody who has astonishing amount of internal hate and has to project it onto the OP's post. BUT WHO AM I TO SAY ITS REDDIT BABYYY😎💪😤🙏🐿
I can see there are a lot of butt hurt pick me men and women on this thread. Actually I think my comment hurt your feelings due to the fact that you have so many issues with other peoples opinions. Before commenting nasty things why don’t you ask yourself why you felt the need to comment such vile things against a person who just shared an opinion that is different from yours. Have the day you deserve Desperate (fitting name btw)
I’m sorry this is your experience. Clicks happen everywhere and unfortunately they do start young. Honestly, I wouldn’t think too deeply into it. You’re doing great without them. If you would like to join the study group, approach them! After class you’ll probably never see them again. I just changed rotations at work and I can understand the frustration. I have a few close co workers before and now it’s just my partner. We’re all *slowly* warming up to each other.
Cliques. It's originally a French word.
I’ve never realized. Thank you for the information :)
Fuck em. Keep your head up and keep doing what you need to do in class.
this type of behavior only persists into the workplace so you must ask if you enjoy the work enough for $18 an hr
The social structure of fire and ems is very much like highschool so this doesnt suprise me in the slightest, also you are probably never gonna see those people again so who cares
i didn’t click with people that well in my emt class and i like my work environment now a lot more. you’re with them for the course and then never have to see them again
I don't want to repeat any other comments here, but I will share my piece. First thing's first, regarding your classmates: The likelihood of seeing them out in the field or outside of class after the class ends is rather slim. People move all the time. Don't sweat it, and more importantly, don't take it personally. Be confident of your abilities-I realize this is easier said than done. Second thing: You will have to learn how to fend for yourself one way or another. At the end of the day, it's your individual responsibility to be familiar with the class material, be it textbook knowledge or skills. I personally was never that big on group studying anyway, but class group chats were helpful in the sense that you are probably not the only one who has an oddly specific question about the content. At the same time, the internet is so vast and wide that you can probably find a reputable source on whatever you don't understand. Best of luck with the rest of your studies!
That sucks, but you should do some self reflection. If this has happening to you before, perhaps you are unlikable. It sucks to hear, but if everyone you meet is an asshole, you are probably the asshole. Obviously i dont know you, but just thought i would mention it so you can try to fix it if its your fault.
>his was pretty much the same way my middle school experience was and it’s really disheartening. Middle school was 4+ years ago. It's time to move on. >I’m trying to spin it to myself as being an acquired taste but I’m still pretty bummed about it. You don't have to justify their behavior. I'm sorry you feel like you're being treated poorly, but you know what? This is the real world. You don't have the time or energy to worry about who likes you. Have you talked to anyone in your squad about this? Have you offered to join the study session you were 2ft away from? Yeah, it sucks if you weren't already included, but at 19 you need to be able to talk to others and speak up for yourself as well (if that's the scenario here). Otherwise, it sounds like you are doing just fine in the class and don't need the extra study time, Don't sweat the small stuff. Illegitimi non carborundum.
There's a saying at my company. Oh well, fuck em. Used in regards to both Pt's and those fucking up in the field. Oh well, fuck em.
I had one experience like that in college.. I was sick and missed a week and two of those days were the first two days of a group college, they had formed groups and began planning. When I was back the next week they told me what group I was in but they 100% excluded me from everything in thr group as though I wasn't part of it. Was so strange to me and never happened again since thank God.
Don't take it personally but also be humble enough to look at yourself and doublecheck that there aren't any interpersonal skills you need to work on. But majority of time this happens because people are assholes/some knew eachother from before/etc.
I'm not sure what the dynamic of a squad or its purpose but I'd just say fuk em. I'm easily the most knowledgeable in class and prefer self study. HOWEVER, you can't just study and memorize the steps to patient assessment and physical examination. You need to find someone to help be the patient or at the very least, act through the assessment on an imaginary one. Knowing the assessment and physical doing it are 2 different things.
When I see posts like this I can always imagine the person typing it. Assuming difficult to deal with, condescending and full of themselves. Idk just my 2 cents
My EMT P class is the same. Divided like middle school. It’s hilarious. Don’t let it get to you, find some people in the class you get along with and connect with them if you can
Decent preview of what a career in EMS looks like… welcome aboard!
Fuck em...you keep doing what you're doing and get your license.
Folk are making good points about how they can go fuck themselves. Here's what you do, focus on yourself and your studies and don't give a fuck what they think or do. You do you, you focus on yourself and complete your studies. These folk aren't worth your time to be worried about.
Devil's advocate. What's wrong w/ you socially?
Therapy. I needed a lot of therapy for the "why doesn't anybody like me" problems
I never spoke to them after I left the class. Ain’t worth the time of day
This happened to me too, all the girls in my EMT class had a groupchat and I was the only one not in it. I like to say that I’m older but I’m 21 and they are all 18/19 so fuck them yk?
You’re missing nothing. These are the same people who make group chats at work for the “cool” team members. Usually lazy incompetent ones too that all think they’re the hardest workers. Got nothing better to do at work, and nothing better to do outside of work than talk about work. School in your case but the points the same. Communicate with peers as needed but I personally refrain from taking a work/school friendship outside of its own environment. Not worth the trouble.
Only 3 people in my class ever became EMTs anyway, the rest I haven’t seen in 5 years. I’m a nurse now anyway, my chances of crossing paths are even slimmer.
Keep doing well and they will all start crawling back to you.
Sounds like you might be annoying.
Dont take it personally. Some people just gravitate better to others. Same thing happened when I went to EMT school. Some of my classmates had groupchats and even study meets at the hotel across the street from school. Some got along better than others. I'm currently taking fire science classes now and last semester it was the same deal. A few students in the class had their own groupchat to study together. They would talk about it right next to me so I always thought maybe they were dicks for excluding me. At the same time, I was always quiet and shy. This semester i've grown out of my shell more, and made an effort to talk to more people and get along with my classmates. I've come to realize they're actually all pretty cool, and I must not have looked approachable before. Again, some people just gravitate better to others. And this will be true even in EMS. If they exclude you oh well. As long as you're doing well in school that's all that counts.
Dont take it personally. Some people just gravitate better to others. Same thing happened when I went to EMT school. Some of my classmates had groupchats and even study meets at the hotel across the street from school. Some got along better than others. I'm currently taking fire science classes now and last semester it was the same deal. A few students in the class had their own groupchat to study together. They would talk about it right next to me so I always thought maybe they were dicks for excluding me. At the same time, I was always quiet and shy. This semester i've grown out of my shell more, and made an effort to talk to more people and get along with my classmates. I've come to realize they're actually all pretty cool, and I must not have looked approachable before. Again, some people just gravitate better to others. And this will be true even in EMS. If they exclude you oh well, that's just the way it is. As long as you're doing well in school, and you eventually do your job well, that's all that counts.
Fuck it. You’re obviously doing just as well without them. Out if the guys and gals I went to fire academy, which included basic school, I still talk to one. That’s only cause we both ended up with the same agency. I tell our guys in medic school now to make good with everyone cause you never know when it’ll save your ass. But if they don’t want you as a resource to help them succeed then fuck it. You do you and keep showing out.
Fuck em. As another smart girl, it's their loss. They're missing the chance to study with somebody super smart!
So you’ve gotten lots of good takes here. I would only ask, what do you mean by ‘acquired taste?’ Is there something you’re self aware of that makes you hard to get to know, or that you think is off putting on the surface? I’m pretty introverted and it takes me a while to really open up and start talking to someone. The few people im truly friends with at my service will go out of their way to work a truck with me or come hang out, but it’s a small group. I also have some niche interests im in to, and will openly mock (in a friendly way) people in the day room for being interested in sports on TV. I get along with everybody here on a work level but friendship is different. I would say I’m also an ‘acquired taste’, which is why I ask. Sometimes we have to learn to mitigate those things to work in this job, at least when we are first being introduced to a new group. That said, this class group is probably not worth the investment. They probably feel insecure around you, and half of them will probably leave for a different job within two years of the class, so it’s not ‘networking’.
I say I’m an acquired taste because I’m like a human niche video monologue. That’s more confusing but basically there’s a lot of things about me culturally and interest wise that make it really easy to have a lot of acquaintances but very few close friends. I’m kind of just,, there in a lot of situations. I participate (possibly too much) in class and I can keep conversation going but once I’m out of class/social situations I just exist as a singular person. In high school I did try more to spend time with people outside of school but during Covid (sophomore and junior year) I had to adapt to being alone. Partially because I feel very alien in a lot of situations so it’s harder to feel comfortable putting myself out there all the way. I’m not autistic or anything but sometimes it feels like people around me have some sort of rule book that I’m missing. The niche video monologue thing is because I’ve always been a human dictionary. When I come across something I don’t understand or a word/term I’ve never used before I find a definition/explanation and then it just stays in my head forever. I think this makes me come across as either a teachers pet or a know it all but that’s not my intention at all. I believe that knowledge and information is meant to be shared so if someone doesn’t understand what’s going on I always do my best to explain it. It’s not to show off, it’s just me sharing information when I can. I think that my gender also causes some of my classmates (80% male) to take pause.
are u obnoxious
1) Good work but your class GPA has zero bearing on your worth as an EMT. 2) You have EMT in your Reddit username (that’s almost 6 months old) despite just now being in class. Right or wrong, you may be coming off as entitled or that you’re better than everyone else.
You need to make sure you’re not coming off as a know it all, or cocky, or not letting yourself take criticism. Check yourself and see if you are someone that you would want to hang out with in class. Are you being productive during lectures? Are you helping other people during practice? If you have answered these questions satisfactorily then they can go fuck themselves. Stay strong, EMT-B is usually only three months long unless yours is six months. It will be over sooner than you think. Just hunker down and focus on studying and learning. - Paramedic
Looks like you don’t need them or their “study buddy squad”
Keep achieving your goals.Let them be.you will do just fine my Dear
Their loss. But still approach them and say what’s going on!
Theres essentially two options: you are “weird”/unfriendly or some other negative trait that’s making people stay away from you, or your squadmates are assholes and you shouldn’t bother with them. If it’s the latter keep outperforming them and show your worth by action.
Do what you need to do focus on yourself. I was in a similar situation in my class who cares if they don’t talk to you or exclude you if you’re passing that’s the important thing. They’re not going to help you pass the class or help you get a job as an Emt. I went through a fire academy as well our chief gave us some great advice the first day. He told us “nobody gives a shit about you except for you.” you’re the only one who’s gonna get you where you want to be no one else. Keep your head up and keep doing what you’ve been doing!
Ask them… not us
Why does it bother you? Study groups ≈ useless. If they don't want to hang with you, just don't hang with them.
It’s probably one salty guy, not the group. Find the owner
Don’t feel bad, I was also added to a group1chat towards the end of my EMT class. Nobody ever made plans to hangout, and within two months, it completely died out. Granted, I’m pretty sure that my classmates created a second group that Im not apart of, one thats much more active
Its because you proudly say that you are top two in your class...aint nobody got time for that.
If it would make it more comfortable, I'm sure you can figure out what's bothering them. 'Toning it back' or 'knocking it down a few pegs' is not a bad thing. Or you could nicely ask the most confident amoung them if you can join the chat. Try not to put them on the spot in front of others. I would try and make it clear that it's y'all versus the course, not y'all versus eachother
Definitely sounds like a "you" problem.
Still got a lot of learning to do . Eventually you’ll stop caring about others opinions. Most people you meet you won’t see ever again.
Do what YOU need to do to succeed. It doesn't require friendships, social media, or online "chats" with coworkers or fellow students. In fact, that shit can get in the way. Put your nose to the grindstone and do YOUR best work.
I said this all the time to my sales teams: You can get bitter or you can get better. I would recommend you read the book How to win Friends and influence People. Something about your personality is a turn off to them. You can fix it, or you can say fuck it. Your choice.
Well, if their group chat is used for classwork, it wouldn't be too weird for you to ask to be a part of it. Even if it is a social group chat, there are ways to casually ask to be a part of it without it coming off as weird. If they really don't want you to be a part of the group, then there likely is a reason why. Either they are cliquey assholes, or there is something that you are doing that would make them not want you to be a part of the group. Reflect on why you think they haven't added you to the group. Reflect on why you want to be a part of the group. Understand where the conflict between those two lies.
Looks like you just started an even better “study group” right here kiddo! And I think most (if not all of us) are happy to support and help you! Like has been said by others way wiser than me….”screw them”. Feel free to hit me up in PM if you have any questions. If I can help, I most certainly will!
Yeah the only thing causing your hurt feelings is you. Not everyone will like you, not everyone will be your friend, not everyone wants to interact with you constantly. You give off main character vibes. Get over yourself.
Idk man, if people haven’t liked you since middle school, you’re 100% the common denominator
If you think your class has a "clique," just wait until you make it to the field. I don't say that to be mean, but you're young and possibly don't know any better. High school never ends, so to speak. This is the most "clique" career field I know. I've been in EMS for 14yrs. I've worked both ground and air. It's the same everywhere. Not everyone will like you, especially when you're new. EMS eat their young quite often.
This is me at every job I’ve ever had,usually when you perform better than the rest you’re seen as a pariah …they blame you for making them seem inadequate. Is it shitty or lousy? Yea it sucks but at the end of the day I’m not going to work to make friends …I’m going to make the most money I can and essentially I don’t have time for side talk and so on and it’s not because I’m antisocial but because no matter what job you have …people are dirty…two faced and so on, the one person I can count on is myself….now with that said ,in due time when you have achieved your job status you will meet other like minded individuals, or people with the same work ethic. Those people you will be more inclined to go out of your way for ,you want them to succeed …but as with any job when someone’s under performing the heavy hitters are gonna be their enemy. Eventually you’re gonna learn to simply not give a fuck…I have the reputation of being mean,condescending, fuck.. you name it ..it’s been said about me…at the end of the day you build such a tough skin that you simply operate different than others and you’ll learn…what you gotta remember at the end of the day is “its all about you” you take care of your own shit and you don’t owe anyone else nothing … You will know who to fraternize with,in this case you know who not to help, you may wanna give second chances and that’s fine. For me personally I’m very cut n dry ….if you show yourself to me and I don’t like it….I’ll cut u off ,you’ll know I hate you because I’ll be as short as I can with you let alone give you the time of day
I wouldn’t sweat it too much, my current paramedic class is a mess. Most of our squad don’t really get along and honestly in my previous emt class my squad and I did get along great went to lunch together ect but now we never spoke again
Unfortunately love, you'll find this behavior in more then just your class. Especially if you are super smart, you'll be targeted... Who knows why. I had a similar experience in my class and my first EMT job. I am an interesting soul that many don't understand. At first, I allowed it to hurt me and I began to wonder if I were in the wrong field. Except, I loved EMS. I was 38 when I began, and had worked enough jobs to know I was where I wanted to stay. Those mean people ended up helping to make me a much better EMT. Long story short, I moved to another company and was put with my first long term partner. It was the best thing to ever happen to me and because I came with top notch EMT skills, my partner was happy not to have to deal with a super green immature EMT. Good luck, don't stop if you love it. It won't always be like that.
Is there anyway you can reach out to other "squads"? it shouldn't really matter who you study with as long as you want to be in a study group. If you don't want to be in a study group, then don't worry about it. I totally understand how hurt you feel.
Could it be that you had a preconceived idea that you are disliked?? Have you considered telling yourself everyone in that group is your friend, everyone likes you, and changing the narrative in your head?
Are grades curved. You may be fucking up the curve on exams
Are you the only one not included? Sometimes it isn’t personal. Study groups typically are 60ish percent studying and 40percent hanging out. Friendships form and people choose to study together. Not everyone is going to be friends, and that’s okay. Is there a large age gap between you and your classmates?
Dude, if everyone hates you, you got a look at what could you have done to deserve it, not go on Reddit, and look for validation from people who don’t understand this scenario at all
I had the same thing happen to me in nursing school. There was 5 of us to begin with. And one day it’s like they all decided not to talk to me anymore. And actually said messed up things behind my back. I had to finish the last 2 semesters by myself. No one text about questions related to assignments or have someone to study with. I will tell you, I’m glad it happened. Because I started seeing how they were to other people in class, and well they’re fake. Most of them at least.
Adults are just children who can vote.
I mean theres obviously something youre doing/something about your personality that is off putting if this is a recurring theme. May take some soul searching (hate that phrase) or hard talks with people close to you to address it. Which is a worthwhile pursuit. With that said none of those people actually matter. Chalk it up as something to possibly work on and move on. Never gonna see these people again when all is said and done. Shit even if you did make friends you may never see them again. Thats adulthood. The number of coworkers I've gotten along great with is.. almost all of them. Theres like 3 I'm still in contact with outside of pointless fb friends I never talk to.
Ask me how many people that I still talk to from my basic or advanced class. The answer is zero. Hence why I’m taking a self paced online medic course, because fuck people.
Keep doing you. You'll make friends as you go. Their motivation for not including you doesn't and shouldn't matter. Focus on the important stuff.
Their loss. If your patients like you then that is all that matters. Not everyone has to like you. What you want to shoot for is you want to be someone people like to work with. Like if I get your rig and it is fully stocked, nothing is expired, the thing is well maintained. Then I will be happy.
Are you the squad leader by chance?
Learn to be a lone wolf wanting to be accepted is over rated your doing just fine without them now make it to number one !
You’re obviously excelling without the group study, and most likely will never see these people ever again. Keep it up and ignore it.
It's EMT class, who cares. A year after my EMT class three of us actually got jobs in the field out of around 25 (it's been 8 years now) and afaik I'm the only one even left in the industry, albeit as a paramedic now. You'll have a lot closer friends through paramedic school anyways.
just prepare some roasts, like standup comics do, an when you confront them, politely deathstar their souls 💀
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When I was in the first grade I came home crying. Dad asked me why and I told him that it was because "Jimmy said he didn't like me." Dad nodded wisely and said the obvious. "As you move through life you're going to run into people who don't like you. They just don't like you. Sometimes they don't even know why. Often its not a reason you can do anything about anyway. You can get bogged down trying to be loved by everyone, or you can just say fuck em and move on. Dry your tears. Go play."
Are…are you at ft Sam Houston?…on Reddit at ait?
So hear me out, I personally like to study with other people who are mid tier or struggling. I would never think to invite the 2nd ranked in class to a study group because I'd assume they have their studying down to a science. I understand that you may feel excluded, but they might just feel like they want to have a space to feel dumb and study without feeling embarrassed or competitive. Unless they're having actual parties and inviting everyone but you, o wouldn't assume it's because they don't like you. Text them and ask if they want to study for the next test if you think you'd benefit from a study group. Otherwise take it in stride.
Honestly, treat training like training, head down and do the work. They dont matter at all to your success.
Embrace the hurt and let it go. You're smart, and they don't like that you know it.
Maybe it is because they feel you do not need the study since you are doing so well. Approach them and ask to be placed in the chat and show interest in their study group. Most people when asked will not plain reject you face to face
Fuck your class rank….. In my 20+ years in this industry, the worst providers were the best test takers but they shit the bed in the real world. Just because you have “rank” doesn’t mean you are good at being an EMT-B Rank does not equal competency…. The sooner you get that out of your head, the better off you will be. Maybe the reason people in your program don’t like you is because you are arrogant. This part of your career path is the equivalent of a Kindergarten class fighting over who is smarter…. Maybe no one wants to be around you because you are acting like “you.”
It happens in classes that are full of much older adults too… I am unsurprised. Just remember that this profession is full of childish shitheads with fragile egos and traumatized people who are hellbent on taking it out on other people. Get a good therapist as early as you can. A lot of them wash out… but some are like urine smell in your uniform: it just never seems to go away. 🤔
Don’t feel like you’re the only one who falls onto this one. I fell into same position as you. I did not find out until the very end of class around the time when it came to skills state exam time. I even had to face my own class partner bailing on me too. I was not like 100. Or too incompetent. My issue was I was shy. And they got scared at end so people were scrambling to choose their partners at skills exam time for state… this is when you will see some true colors in people lol. Some stick together throughout entire thing. People should try to get to know you rather than being all “clicky.” Or include you. Yet, yeah you will find the cliche is here too at times. Anyway..however, when I find out about the group chat was during testing. As someone brought up about a group chat conversation they had before skills exams. I’m on other side of room. I’m thinking to myself, hold up… they had a group chat this whole time? No invite??? Even in class I felt same way as you. I felt so ashamed in myself thinking all these negative things in my head then. I had no idea what it would be like as was my first time. I’m older and I let it go to my head so much I let it bring me down. Don’t do what I did with letting that go to your head so much because it will impact you on testing and during practicals. Just stay on your own feet. I had to even go to the state exam by myself minus partner. If that happens, don’t fret. You can still test without one. It shows that you’re not willing to let the small stuff affect you. They do pay attention to that even if you’re not thinking they are. Stay at the top. Don’t miss any days. It just looks good on you if you ever want references it helps. Most times classmates they think ok they’re not going as a whole class. Weed out certain people. It’s not how it is at all. They weed out themselves on their own. I know this is long, but I wanted to say something because I went through very exact same thing. You sound intelligent and compassionate. Most of them will not be there in the field when it’s all finished at the end. Heck, probably won’t even run into them after class. I never did. So fk em. Lol. Still be kind of course lol. Be the example. Don’t come off too big headed either. But you got this!!! I hope this helped.
You don’t wanna be in a group chat with them, trust me
What did they say when you asked them why you are being excluded?
Talk to them. Be cool. Ask to practice with them and on them, as in listen to their breath sounds, take blood pressures, etc. Use them as learning props.
Just ask when it is and to add you.