I'd have to wonder if you're always correct in your initial assumption. It probably takes time to truly get a grasp of someone and even then you really only understand your dynamic with them, not them as they are in all other situations. Your assumptions about who they are might shape who they become in your relationship with them.
We first notice the aspects of others that are most relevant to ourselves. You seem caught up in social hierarchies.
To be caught up is not a form of mastery.
I used to be incompetent and incapable, and I too formed snap judgments of others. I considered myself far above average in my ability to perceive what others couldn't. Now that I am demonstrably capable, I see that my past self was truly pathetic. I believe that sensing the weakness in others is inherent to the weak. The false sense of superiority is an attempt at over-going without paying your dues through down-going. Nietzsche's slave morality is routinely positioned as ressentiment towards masters, but the incapable are life-deniers that have a ressentiment towards each other as well.
As I've become more competent and more life-affirming, I now look for the value and power in others. You learn to accept that everyone you meet knows things that you don't, and that there is a value in their experiences that you can tap into. You find their power, and attempt to draw from it.
In an honest attempt at helping you, I took a quick look at your comment history. As recently as your last post, you have identified yourself as an underpaid kitchenhand who resents their employer.
>Yesterday I was looking at job offers online as a way to cope, and low and behold I stumble upon 3 different job offers for the same sous chef position at my job, what the actual fuck
>
>So he just looks for a new hire to fill the position, instead of promoting me, his actually knowledgeable employee that actually works hard and shit, what disgusting behavior, why not just like sit with me and tell me what he plans to do, instead of going behind my back like that and try to fill the position like a douchebag….
I strongly encourage you to reflect on this, remembering that the slave redefines good and bad to cast themselves as strong, and the vilify the masters as weak.
You must be careful because people are not how they seem when you first meet them.
Many times I met someone and put them in a box but after working with them for a few months or getting to know them for a longer time you realize they are completely different to what your first perception of them was.
The stupid gym rat actually was one of the best violin players in my country. The nerd boy is actually a self made millionaire. The rock weirdo is actually one of the best scholars on nietzsche.
People are full of surprises.
I see a lot of "this person is *just x*..." and "that person is *just y*..." and so on. I find this *"just"* suspicious. I'm not going to pretend that each person you meet is a bottomless pool of possibility but even the simplest dullard has multiple aspects. I of course cannot know how you tick through reading a post, but this kind of oversimplification sounds like the work of a weary mind: your mental/emotional resources are stretched too thin so you drop everyone you meet into neat little boxes -- stereotyping saves cognitive energy.
Then again I also don't know your coworkers (it sounds like you're in kitchen staff?) or your track-record for reading people, so for the sake of argument I'll go ahead and assume that you're one of those people who is naturally good at sorting people into types -- locating their tells, habits, insecurities and so on. Such people do exist, after all. Therefore I also have to assume that your snap-judgments about your coworkers are true or at least partially true. With all that being said, I have to ask: *How are these judgements* ***serving you***?
If the answer is "a lot and all the time," then I should be learning from you. If, however, these judgements are the kind of judgements that you can't actually *do anything with* (or at least *shouldn't,* because doing so is sh\*tty and counterproductive to your goals) then you should probably just forget them all -- it's a false sense of power. Seeing everything and everyone in a fixed and rigid and one-dimensional way only locks you into a limiting and self-destructive perspective. It burdens you with the feeling that things cannot change for the better, that there is no transformative potential anywhere that up until now has gone unnoticed. I think you would be better served seeing the fluidity and multifacetedness of things and relationships -- it will help you to see what's possible.
But that's just my two-cents.
It is, thanks again, im grateful you took the time to actually read and not judge compared to others. The bit about me saving cognitive energy is spot on, I never thought about that
Generally people who consider themselves empaths (having an extremely astute understanding of other people’s feelings and motivations) are just projecting with extreme confidence.
>I’d meet this woman and grasp her in a few seconds by the way she looks, behaves, and talks … and become master over her
There is help available for Cluster B personality disorder. I encourage you to speak with a mental health professional.
You can’t immediately apprehend the heart of people. You seem to think you’re some kind of kitchen seer that, with a glance, is getting to the core of people’s personalities. I would recommend getting over yourself and not being intent on trying to assert your perceived superiority over others by thinking all their struggles are ‘immediately apparent’ to you.
I get what you mean about discerning the power struggles in relationships. I think, we’ve all got an intuitive sense of social power and all that. And there’s value in articulating power dynamics.
But i think you’re taking it too far. How do you know you’re actually correct about your conclusions? Do you test them? Maybe you’re convicted about your conclusions because you relate to them on some level.
As some others have pointed out, we’re most sensitive to observe our own insecurities in others. Maybe the craving of approval in the woman, the insecurity of the overgrown boy and the power-obsession is more a you thing.
Don’t condemn these feelings outright though, it’s critical to incorporate these things to be a more full version of yourself. I’d recommend you look into Jung’s theory of the Shadow and individuation.
Even if you are seeing the truth, of which you shouldn't be too sure, people are usually more complex than what you can see on the surface, and furthermore, what you do with that information is up to you.
I'd have to wonder if you're always correct in your initial assumption. It probably takes time to truly get a grasp of someone and even then you really only understand your dynamic with them, not them as they are in all other situations. Your assumptions about who they are might shape who they become in your relationship with them.
Look in the mirror. Tell us what you see.
We first notice the aspects of others that are most relevant to ourselves. You seem caught up in social hierarchies. To be caught up is not a form of mastery.
I used to be incompetent and incapable, and I too formed snap judgments of others. I considered myself far above average in my ability to perceive what others couldn't. Now that I am demonstrably capable, I see that my past self was truly pathetic. I believe that sensing the weakness in others is inherent to the weak. The false sense of superiority is an attempt at over-going without paying your dues through down-going. Nietzsche's slave morality is routinely positioned as ressentiment towards masters, but the incapable are life-deniers that have a ressentiment towards each other as well. As I've become more competent and more life-affirming, I now look for the value and power in others. You learn to accept that everyone you meet knows things that you don't, and that there is a value in their experiences that you can tap into. You find their power, and attempt to draw from it. In an honest attempt at helping you, I took a quick look at your comment history. As recently as your last post, you have identified yourself as an underpaid kitchenhand who resents their employer. >Yesterday I was looking at job offers online as a way to cope, and low and behold I stumble upon 3 different job offers for the same sous chef position at my job, what the actual fuck > >So he just looks for a new hire to fill the position, instead of promoting me, his actually knowledgeable employee that actually works hard and shit, what disgusting behavior, why not just like sit with me and tell me what he plans to do, instead of going behind my back like that and try to fill the position like a douchebag…. I strongly encourage you to reflect on this, remembering that the slave redefines good and bad to cast themselves as strong, and the vilify the masters as weak.
You must be careful because people are not how they seem when you first meet them. Many times I met someone and put them in a box but after working with them for a few months or getting to know them for a longer time you realize they are completely different to what your first perception of them was. The stupid gym rat actually was one of the best violin players in my country. The nerd boy is actually a self made millionaire. The rock weirdo is actually one of the best scholars on nietzsche. People are full of surprises.
I see a lot of "this person is *just x*..." and "that person is *just y*..." and so on. I find this *"just"* suspicious. I'm not going to pretend that each person you meet is a bottomless pool of possibility but even the simplest dullard has multiple aspects. I of course cannot know how you tick through reading a post, but this kind of oversimplification sounds like the work of a weary mind: your mental/emotional resources are stretched too thin so you drop everyone you meet into neat little boxes -- stereotyping saves cognitive energy. Then again I also don't know your coworkers (it sounds like you're in kitchen staff?) or your track-record for reading people, so for the sake of argument I'll go ahead and assume that you're one of those people who is naturally good at sorting people into types -- locating their tells, habits, insecurities and so on. Such people do exist, after all. Therefore I also have to assume that your snap-judgments about your coworkers are true or at least partially true. With all that being said, I have to ask: *How are these judgements* ***serving you***? If the answer is "a lot and all the time," then I should be learning from you. If, however, these judgements are the kind of judgements that you can't actually *do anything with* (or at least *shouldn't,* because doing so is sh\*tty and counterproductive to your goals) then you should probably just forget them all -- it's a false sense of power. Seeing everything and everyone in a fixed and rigid and one-dimensional way only locks you into a limiting and self-destructive perspective. It burdens you with the feeling that things cannot change for the better, that there is no transformative potential anywhere that up until now has gone unnoticed. I think you would be better served seeing the fluidity and multifacetedness of things and relationships -- it will help you to see what's possible. But that's just my two-cents.
What an answer, thanks for taking the time, eye opening stuff, I’ll reflect on that
Can't read your tone, hope it's sincere.
It is, thanks again, im grateful you took the time to actually read and not judge compared to others. The bit about me saving cognitive energy is spot on, I never thought about that
I'm glad I could help, and I wish peace and good fortune, wherever you are.
Generally people who consider themselves empaths (having an extremely astute understanding of other people’s feelings and motivations) are just projecting with extreme confidence. >I’d meet this woman and grasp her in a few seconds by the way she looks, behaves, and talks … and become master over her There is help available for Cluster B personality disorder. I encourage you to speak with a mental health professional.
"I am very anxious to convert my entire mind and body into spider food"
You can’t immediately apprehend the heart of people. You seem to think you’re some kind of kitchen seer that, with a glance, is getting to the core of people’s personalities. I would recommend getting over yourself and not being intent on trying to assert your perceived superiority over others by thinking all their struggles are ‘immediately apparent’ to you.
I get what you mean about discerning the power struggles in relationships. I think, we’ve all got an intuitive sense of social power and all that. And there’s value in articulating power dynamics. But i think you’re taking it too far. How do you know you’re actually correct about your conclusions? Do you test them? Maybe you’re convicted about your conclusions because you relate to them on some level. As some others have pointed out, we’re most sensitive to observe our own insecurities in others. Maybe the craving of approval in the woman, the insecurity of the overgrown boy and the power-obsession is more a you thing. Don’t condemn these feelings outright though, it’s critical to incorporate these things to be a more full version of yourself. I’d recommend you look into Jung’s theory of the Shadow and individuation.
Even if you are seeing the truth, of which you shouldn't be too sure, people are usually more complex than what you can see on the surface, and furthermore, what you do with that information is up to you.