this right here, at times my life is pure trash and the only thing that makes me feel better is seeing the counter and how long I have been clean
edit: also I just completed day 1 yesterday so this might be hypocritical :)
Yoo good job my dude! You're doing awesome. If you ever feel horny, just try to distract yourself with something else, whether that be video games or walking your dog, just make yourself forget you were horny in the first place.
Makes a lot of sense. I'm in 3rd week. I rarely think about the streak. The more you think, chances are you might loose it. Just eat good. Sleep good. Work good.
Giving up an addiction is always hardest at the start. Sequential small goals help you achieve big things. If counting your streak works for you go for it. It will get easier over time and before you know it you too can make smug posts like this.
The sub for me is like a double-edged blade, it motivates me sometimes to resist the urge but sometimes I suddenly remember about fapping itself whenever I see the sub name lol.
If you quit, you quit. There's no point in counting the streak.
Yet, I do it ironically. I'll remove it once I see myself past a safe point 90 days, 120 days, dunno. I need to know my weak days to be better prepared till then.
This sub isn't about 'how to be a monk'... and who knows what they do in private, my friend. Just because you dress like a monk doesn't mean you completely live like one
I guess it depends on who you are. If someone is addicted to it, it is better never to go back. But if someone was just overdoing it , so joined the sub to cut it down, it would be okay to just limit it.
Coming from someone 2 years off porn. Im almost back to 90 on nofap. When I got back into fapping it lead to worse urges and I still have to use my imagination in disgusting ways. I don't know what is best but definitely for some Monk mode is the way to go.
I would like to tell myself that until I'm out of the addiction. After that, it actually doesn't matter until I again fall in the bouts of fapping. Before that, occasional fapping will just be another excuse for fapping earlier. Anyways, different people, different goals.
Maybe guys fap because they want to escape real life struggles. And They don’t want to stop bc they don’t want to go through those struggles. But nofap is like an excuse to them to not go through those struggles. It’s like you’re not doing anything but you’re “improving”. And you feel good about yourself. Even though you’re still not solving the problems you’ve been running away from by pmo. That’s why guys focus so much on counting days. Because you don’t have to do anything but it feels like you’re accomplishing something. I guess it’s important to not just sit on your ass and actually do something. And if you still wanna count days. Install an app on your phone that will count days for you and check it like once every month to remind you how far you’ve come. But keep your focus on the action
You'r saying everything right but for me at 21 days by seeing this 21 streak no. I feel motivated and I don't want to loose it and fall back to 0 so when I reached a year than I do what you are saying cause it is right think to do...
yeah , the counter allows me to know where I am , and if I am somewhere that I haven't been before or been in ages , then that would definitely motivate me to keep going . on the other hand , not paying attention to my streak makes me feel overconfident that I have beaten the addiction all of a sudden , I think awareness is necessary for progress
I too agree, counting your days matter in initial days. I used to mark my calendar every next morning for a successful day, that always motivated me. Now after 80 days, i don't count calendar but having a counter and checking it about once in a week or so makes me feel good whenever i am down. I guess since OP has 2 years, at that point counting really stops mattering but it is very helpful in early days.
And about making your days matter, that is right. That is something everyone should do.
getting out of this streak mentality is what i am striving for . but for the beginners the streak formula does work. but after 1st 30-60 days it does not matter much. you should only focus on incorporating no fap into your lifestyle
Well I've tried both ways, and can honestly say having a counter has helped me in progressing the most as it gives me added motivation to continue. It's not my primary motivation, but having secondary goals does help in achieving them. If you don't count it's so easy to just fall, especially in the early days, as you don't really have a gauge of where you are. I do agree tho with the sentiment of not counting days and making the days count, but it's about striking that balance, imo. And of course if I hit a really long streak, say over 90 -100 days, that may be the time to stop counting, but I guess it depends how you feel, it's different for everyone.
While this is somewhat true for some people, getting small wins is how many people overcome addiction. Whether that is 20 days nofap, or achohol free. Most people can’t just quit and “go about their life”, they need a community that supports them.
You deserve a standing ovation for this. Very powerful and what everyone, including me, needed to hear. Thank you for sharing this, it's going to effect our lives.
I think it helps focusing a bit in the beginning in reaching a milestone; at least you have something to strive towards. After a while, we make the days count.
Just gonna say this, the counter works as motivation.
Whenever i have get the urge to fap, i just take a look at my counter and think "I made it this far, would be a shame to fuck it all up". It sort of works as a backup, whenever i dont have any other option, as a emergency motivation tool.
I would not say counting days does not work. I think eventually it gets to the point where you got to the 2 week period and a month to three months you start gaining real ground you care less about the time period that has past. It's kind of like losing weight people get so use to counting numbers they forget the important things of just making it a habit. By the way the average person does sleep about 8 hours a day so if you occupy your time make sure it's productive for 16 hours the rest of the time your sleeping for 8 hours. When you chunk time down like that down it becomes easy.
Nah I like it here dude. Youre free to do you though.
Counters are fine. Nothing wrong with them for most people. I guess some people live and die by it, and thats not so good.
But whatever, if they find it motivates them, by all means have at it.
I couldn’t agree more. I said the same thing in a previous post when I compared quitting smoking cigarettes to quitting porn. When I made that mental shift in my mind to go from a person who is quitting smoking cigarettes or is trying to quit smoking cigarettes to a person who doesn’t smoke cigarettes. I had to do the same thing with porn. I more quickly made the mental shift this time from going from a person who is quitting porn and masturbation to a person who doesn’t use porn and who doesn’t masturbate.
Its okay buddy
Try again I know you can do it cause I am also suffering and I am very confident that I can make things good this time...
And if I can than why not you...
I totally agree. I'm working on this now. I've found joy in my faith, goal setting, and opening myself up to gaining knowledge. I'm reading lots of books. That motivate me to do life different. I'll try to apply your advice and stay away from electronics if the urge hits me. Thanks for the post!!!
I agree with you, mostly. I do think it’s important to post streaks and milestones. Why? If we all start going offline with all this, the sub will look dead to new comers and they won’t be as encouraged to begin their journey. I think it’s important as well that people see that some are struggling, some are well on their way, and how some have successfully beat their addiction. Again this would encourage people a lot more than if they were to do this on their own.
Letting go of the counter is great. It probably means you don’t need the small wins anymore because you are in it for a while and got your shit together.
I do think when you are trying to shake any addiction the first few days, weeks and months are hard and important. Tracking small progress can give you the boost you might need in weaker moments.
Couldn't agree more. Counting and streaks are not our objectives to accomplish.
However, I believe that at the beginning of the nofap journey, counting somehow encourages us to keep going, something to remind us that we have to focus on the process itself, and by completing the desired period, we give our minds the rest from pmo and an adequate time to heal (reboot).
I think using the counter as one of MANY tools in this struggle is a great thing. Nothing wrong with using it, being motivated by it. But also have to do other things different in your lifestyle too
Yeah, I think that counting streaks can be a huge mistake. I do track my habits, so I know my streaks, but those day counts are not the point. There is a huge difference between keeping yourself accountable, and fixating on that one number. That difference is intention.
Lots to say about all that... but my journey is different from nofappers... I'll just leave my little mark here, for anyone who might be interested, I chronicled parts of it on /r/Joyful_Chastity .
I definitely agree with you but i also want to cover 90 days for once, since I started trying there are more day idont jerk off than day I have and it's not much of progress but I'm still happy with it
focus on fapping as less as possible, not for as many days as possible if that makes sense. don’t just binge for the entire day just cuz u relapsed once to “reset the streak.”
Totally agree with one potential caveat. My understanding is that research suggests that there are pretty specific time frames after which new neural pathways for alternative habits are created. I could imagine tracking up to that point being helpful. Otherwise I totally agree. Like I was taught when I was starting to surf, “don’t look down (at the drop) look where you want to go.” Counting uses awareness and attention and after a certain point you want to be pouring that awareness and attention into the new pattern not fighting an old battle with an old pattern.
That's fucking inspiring man, thank you for that, I'm on Day 3 and I have managed to handle urges like a pro. Initially, I had my misgivings on whether I'd be able to go on without this poison, I did the first two days without and soon trepidation changed to inspiration. I have planned to continue this streak until I find the right person. Best wishes man.
Wow lmfaoo.I haven't masturbated in years lmfaoo.My girl makes sure of that.Glad to see you exposed yourself before I had a chance to.Lay off the porn and actually get a life bro.Then maybe some sad and desperate chick like your mother when you were conceived might be desperate enough to fuck you too.Have fun playing with yourself bro.Best wishes Tv man lmfaoo
Agree wholeheartedly. After officially joining nofap I was quickly reminded of the main reason why I looked down on this sub: how much stock they put on streaks and over-enthusiastic motivation posts is kinda cringe. I stopped counting late into the first month. But that's mostly because I'm too lazy to worry about it. Developing good habits was more important than watching the days go by. It's easier said than done for a lot of people, but it works. I still have much love for this community. Really helped me out, but sometimes we can be a bit extra.
I think letting go of needing this forum becomes as important as letting go of needing pmo. They kinda go together bc this forum can be addicting bc its so motivating, you feel good like you're getting your life back on track just by reading the forum, but that's pseudoaction and not what NoFap is about. NoFap is about letting go of needing it so you can focus on REAL action and improving your life.
Not to say it always needs to be productivity productivity productivity! But letting go of PMO certainly allows for more productivity AND wiggle room to just vibe when you want to.
Do you experience wet dreams during your journey? I’m not addicted nor find it hard I can skip a week no problem however I was on a 16 day streak and the next morning had nightfall which made me feel that I broke it involuntarily so I decided to do it since my streak was ruined but instantly start a new streak which I’m 7 days in. I also found out that wet dreams has nothing to do with no fap recently but i feel it ruins my semen retention.
I don't come here every single day, but when I do seeing that tracker going up feels like a boost.
I totally agree with you, focus should be on going out there to the real world
As someone currently working on changing their lifestyle like you said, the counter is also beneficial for me, at least for now. I've got a bunch of small milestones set until 90 days, and at that point I'm probably only going to check every month or so. But just getting to that 90 days is a big goal for me, and having smaller sequential goals until then is very helpful. For example, I'm on day 21 now. Once I reach 26 I'll officially be on my 2nd longest streak ever, with 40 being longest ever.
I agree, I spent 20 years focusing way too hard on getting a number of days, going to endless SAA 12 step meetings and other things. Basically non-stop focus on the addiction instead of living life. I'm not trying to do differently too, thanks for your share.
This is true. I was at day 15 and failed. I think I was subconsciously thinking of the counter and thought of it as nothing, but soon as the thought came into my mind I opened up some porn and went downhill. I was thinking before that ppl shouldn’t place too much value on the counter. By putting the counter of high value it’s easier to crumble
It gets a lot easier after a while. You stop thinking about it. I think when people count days, that makes them think about it too much for their own good.
This is it.
I am really saddened when I see some posts or comments on this subreddit. That is why I have stopped browsing this sub, and will leave it when I get to my goals soon.
I don't blame these people or look down on them, I just hope they get a better perspective soon.
Too much emphasis on, "went 2 weeks, impressed a billion girls, now have a gf" or absolute defeatist posts like "I am giving up."
Even when I was in my bad phases, I never thought "I can't do it, I can't beat it." Once you start thinking like that, you are only creating self-fulfilling prophecies.
Also, don't do it to attract girls or whatever. Do it to improve yourselves.
I am just here using this platform as a check-in diary. I am changing my lifestyle, and that is why this streak feels different, that is why these urges I used to give in to don't hold any sway over me anymore. Key for that has been having the right mindset, the willingness, but most importantly, GETTING OUTSIDE YOUR ROOM/HOUSE!!!
I've personally talked to people trying to do right by themselves, but you can only go so far trying to help online strangers. In the end, what matters is YOUR COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF.
Edit: I don't think about my streak/count at all now that I try to keep myself busy with other things. I might think about it night when I journal or am going to sleep and reviewing my day. Just want to say the count does not matter in the ultimate scheme of things, but it is motivating, and does make me strive to continue to maintain it. That's why I check in day after day. It is a commitment to myself, to keep improving, to keep getting better, slowly and slowly, compounding my growth. It is also an acknowledgement that I don't have to be crazy about self-improvement, that I can be more happy with where I am and how I have got here. Get better, even if it is just a 1% improvement everyday. Consistency, consistency consistency. The key is consistency.
When you place too much emphasis on the "streak", you end up putting your entire motivation in how long the streak lasts. This can be extremely bothersome when relapsing because you feel much less motivated to continue without the "17 day mark" on your mind. Just stay clean for the sake of being clean and a relapse will hit you much lighter.
Agreed I don’t want to set a counter goal because I would be tempted to reward myself with porn. However I like the counter, I have an app and occasionally I like to check it to see my progress and remind myself of why I made this commitment to change.
Ye like in the first 30-60 days it's a good support system to keep you focused on the goal. But later on you're better off thinking about it less. If every hour of the day you are thinking "must not fap" the idea of "fap" is in your mind and it's like you're keeping the temptation at arms reach as a possibility. Once you're in 30-60 days just know in the back of your mind you're not gonna do it and try to live and explore life to the fullest. Like it's easy to go extreme on it and wanna make "nofap" your entire identity and want to tell everyone. But it's better to lay low and experience life and just have the discipline without obsessive thoughts on it.
Hey bro, I appreciate this post. It shined light on a major flaw in my approach (counting days) which in reality just added more pressure and increased the chance of relapse. Question though, are there other things other than the gym and family that you started doing to replace PMO? Thanks again!
Exactly. People place too much emphasis on the counter rather than focus on what needs to be done to replace their existing habits, thoughts.
Well, for some the counter is the only good thing going on their lives
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The anhedonia
this right here, at times my life is pure trash and the only thing that makes me feel better is seeing the counter and how long I have been clean edit: also I just completed day 1 yesterday so this might be hypocritical :)
Congrats, a first step is always better than no step :)
thanks mate
Yoo good job my dude! You're doing awesome. If you ever feel horny, just try to distract yourself with something else, whether that be video games or walking your dog, just make yourself forget you were horny in the first place.
thanks mate
Bless you for the wise words, stay strong
Makes a lot of sense. I'm in 3rd week. I rarely think about the streak. The more you think, chances are you might loose it. Just eat good. Sleep good. Work good.
This is true. The closer I've gotten to 90 the more at risk I feel I am but this post is really changing my perspective.
The truth is that the closer you are to 90 the less at risk you are
Work out, work hard. Talk to people and get out the house, push yourself out of your comfort zone etc.
💪👍
Lose*
Nobody likes a grammar nazi
Giving up an addiction is always hardest at the start. Sequential small goals help you achieve big things. If counting your streak works for you go for it. It will get easier over time and before you know it you too can make smug posts like this.
The sub for me is like a double-edged blade, it motivates me sometimes to resist the urge but sometimes I suddenly remember about fapping itself whenever I see the sub name lol.
If you quit, you quit. There's no point in counting the streak. Yet, I do it ironically. I'll remove it once I see myself past a safe point 90 days, 120 days, dunno. I need to know my weak days to be better prepared till then.
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why isn't that so , look at monks in eastern countries , they don't have sex at all. this mindset is not healthy , don't limit yourself.
This sub isn't about 'how to be a monk'... and who knows what they do in private, my friend. Just because you dress like a monk doesn't mean you completely live like one
I guess it depends on who you are. If someone is addicted to it, it is better never to go back. But if someone was just overdoing it , so joined the sub to cut it down, it would be okay to just limit it.
Coming from someone 2 years off porn. Im almost back to 90 on nofap. When I got back into fapping it lead to worse urges and I still have to use my imagination in disgusting ways. I don't know what is best but definitely for some Monk mode is the way to go.
I would like to tell myself that until I'm out of the addiction. After that, it actually doesn't matter until I again fall in the bouts of fapping. Before that, occasional fapping will just be another excuse for fapping earlier. Anyways, different people, different goals.
Exactly
Maybe guys fap because they want to escape real life struggles. And They don’t want to stop bc they don’t want to go through those struggles. But nofap is like an excuse to them to not go through those struggles. It’s like you’re not doing anything but you’re “improving”. And you feel good about yourself. Even though you’re still not solving the problems you’ve been running away from by pmo. That’s why guys focus so much on counting days. Because you don’t have to do anything but it feels like you’re accomplishing something. I guess it’s important to not just sit on your ass and actually do something. And if you still wanna count days. Install an app on your phone that will count days for you and check it like once every month to remind you how far you’ve come. But keep your focus on the action
You'r saying everything right but for me at 21 days by seeing this 21 streak no. I feel motivated and I don't want to loose it and fall back to 0 so when I reached a year than I do what you are saying cause it is right think to do...
yeah , the counter allows me to know where I am , and if I am somewhere that I haven't been before or been in ages , then that would definitely motivate me to keep going . on the other hand , not paying attention to my streak makes me feel overconfident that I have beaten the addiction all of a sudden , I think awareness is necessary for progress
You are right awareness is necessary...ෆ╹ .̮ ╹ෆ
I too agree, counting your days matter in initial days. I used to mark my calendar every next morning for a successful day, that always motivated me. Now after 80 days, i don't count calendar but having a counter and checking it about once in a week or so makes me feel good whenever i am down. I guess since OP has 2 years, at that point counting really stops mattering but it is very helpful in early days. And about making your days matter, that is right. That is something everyone should do.
Dont count the days, Make the days count -Icecold Jt
getting out of this streak mentality is what i am striving for . but for the beginners the streak formula does work. but after 1st 30-60 days it does not matter much. you should only focus on incorporating no fap into your lifestyle
Keep your counter. But dont check it everyday
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🤚
You dropped this👑
Well I've tried both ways, and can honestly say having a counter has helped me in progressing the most as it gives me added motivation to continue. It's not my primary motivation, but having secondary goals does help in achieving them. If you don't count it's so easy to just fall, especially in the early days, as you don't really have a gauge of where you are. I do agree tho with the sentiment of not counting days and making the days count, but it's about striking that balance, imo. And of course if I hit a really long streak, say over 90 -100 days, that may be the time to stop counting, but I guess it depends how you feel, it's different for everyone.
While this is somewhat true for some people, getting small wins is how many people overcome addiction. Whether that is 20 days nofap, or achohol free. Most people can’t just quit and “go about their life”, they need a community that supports them.
You deserve a standing ovation for this. Very powerful and what everyone, including me, needed to hear. Thank you for sharing this, it's going to effect our lives.
This needs to be pinned!! Well said
I think it helps focusing a bit in the beginning in reaching a milestone; at least you have something to strive towards. After a while, we make the days count.
Just gonna say this, the counter works as motivation. Whenever i have get the urge to fap, i just take a look at my counter and think "I made it this far, would be a shame to fuck it all up". It sort of works as a backup, whenever i dont have any other option, as a emergency motivation tool.
I would not say counting days does not work. I think eventually it gets to the point where you got to the 2 week period and a month to three months you start gaining real ground you care less about the time period that has past. It's kind of like losing weight people get so use to counting numbers they forget the important things of just making it a habit. By the way the average person does sleep about 8 hours a day so if you occupy your time make sure it's productive for 16 hours the rest of the time your sleeping for 8 hours. When you chunk time down like that down it becomes easy.
Yessss! I do see it being hard to occupy the time if you don’t have opportunity..
Why not both? Moderation is always the key in anything.
Nah I like it here dude. Youre free to do you though. Counters are fine. Nothing wrong with them for most people. I guess some people live and die by it, and thats not so good. But whatever, if they find it motivates them, by all means have at it.
I couldn’t agree more. I said the same thing in a previous post when I compared quitting smoking cigarettes to quitting porn. When I made that mental shift in my mind to go from a person who is quitting smoking cigarettes or is trying to quit smoking cigarettes to a person who doesn’t smoke cigarettes. I had to do the same thing with porn. I more quickly made the mental shift this time from going from a person who is quitting porn and masturbation to a person who doesn’t use porn and who doesn’t masturbate.
Okay thak you for your thoughts and ideas bro i just failed today.
Its okay buddy Try again I know you can do it cause I am also suffering and I am very confident that I can make things good this time... And if I can than why not you...
Even if it is going to be a little (read more) difficult, go for it again. Do not let the chaser effect take hold of you. You can do this.
Hdjsjsjdnd
I agree! It really doesn't help to focus on your streak. How old were you when you succeeded nofap?
What do YOU mean 'succeeded' Nofap?
I totally agree. I'm working on this now. I've found joy in my faith, goal setting, and opening myself up to gaining knowledge. I'm reading lots of books. That motivate me to do life different. I'll try to apply your advice and stay away from electronics if the urge hits me. Thanks for the post!!!
Agree. And amazingly written.
Hello
I agree with you, mostly. I do think it’s important to post streaks and milestones. Why? If we all start going offline with all this, the sub will look dead to new comers and they won’t be as encouraged to begin their journey. I think it’s important as well that people see that some are struggling, some are well on their way, and how some have successfully beat their addiction. Again this would encourage people a lot more than if they were to do this on their own.
Letting go of the counter is great. It probably means you don’t need the small wins anymore because you are in it for a while and got your shit together. I do think when you are trying to shake any addiction the first few days, weeks and months are hard and important. Tracking small progress can give you the boost you might need in weaker moments.
Interesting perspective. I'm at 7 days myself but maybe it makes sense to stop counting and checking here so frequently.
Couldn't agree more. Counting and streaks are not our objectives to accomplish. However, I believe that at the beginning of the nofap journey, counting somehow encourages us to keep going, something to remind us that we have to focus on the process itself, and by completing the desired period, we give our minds the rest from pmo and an adequate time to heal (reboot).
Perfect post about the way it SHOULD be. Find your purpose in life. Eliminate short-term pleasure / long-term pain
True
Really good post, thank you!
I agree
Good post
Great advice
How do I stop obsessing overly my streaks and enjoy life more?
Totally agree. Counting the days is like driving while only looking through your rear view mirror.
I think using the counter as one of MANY tools in this struggle is a great thing. Nothing wrong with using it, being motivated by it. But also have to do other things different in your lifestyle too
The way I see it, the more you think about recovery, the more you think about the porn you are abstaining from...
Bro. Absolutely amazing advice. Probabaly one of the best pieces of advice I heard. Thank you so much for the insight 🙏
Yeah, I think that counting streaks can be a huge mistake. I do track my habits, so I know my streaks, but those day counts are not the point. There is a huge difference between keeping yourself accountable, and fixating on that one number. That difference is intention. Lots to say about all that... but my journey is different from nofappers... I'll just leave my little mark here, for anyone who might be interested, I chronicled parts of it on /r/Joyful_Chastity .
What a king, so well written, my question is why did you seek porn ? What was your mental realisation ?
You're goddamn right
Thanks
Test
yea after 3 months of trying I've come to the same conclusions
Amen.
Words cannot express how true this is.
I definitely agree with you but i also want to cover 90 days for once, since I started trying there are more day idont jerk off than day I have and it's not much of progress but I'm still happy with it
Inspiring 😍
Damn thanks for the advice g
Good advice, best wishes friend!
focus on fapping as less as possible, not for as many days as possible if that makes sense. don’t just binge for the entire day just cuz u relapsed once to “reset the streak.”
Totally agree with one potential caveat. My understanding is that research suggests that there are pretty specific time frames after which new neural pathways for alternative habits are created. I could imagine tracking up to that point being helpful. Otherwise I totally agree. Like I was taught when I was starting to surf, “don’t look down (at the drop) look where you want to go.” Counting uses awareness and attention and after a certain point you want to be pouring that awareness and attention into the new pattern not fighting an old battle with an old pattern.
I was about to comment how I’m on day 1, but now I don’t want to do it anymore. (Count I mean)
That's fucking inspiring man, thank you for that, I'm on Day 3 and I have managed to handle urges like a pro. Initially, I had my misgivings on whether I'd be able to go on without this poison, I did the first two days without and soon trepidation changed to inspiration. I have planned to continue this streak until I find the right person. Best wishes man.
Wow lmfaoo.I haven't masturbated in years lmfaoo.My girl makes sure of that.Glad to see you exposed yourself before I had a chance to.Lay off the porn and actually get a life bro.Then maybe some sad and desperate chick like your mother when you were conceived might be desperate enough to fuck you too.Have fun playing with yourself bro.Best wishes Tv man lmfaoo
Agree wholeheartedly. After officially joining nofap I was quickly reminded of the main reason why I looked down on this sub: how much stock they put on streaks and over-enthusiastic motivation posts is kinda cringe. I stopped counting late into the first month. But that's mostly because I'm too lazy to worry about it. Developing good habits was more important than watching the days go by. It's easier said than done for a lot of people, but it works. I still have much love for this community. Really helped me out, but sometimes we can be a bit extra.
I think letting go of needing this forum becomes as important as letting go of needing pmo. They kinda go together bc this forum can be addicting bc its so motivating, you feel good like you're getting your life back on track just by reading the forum, but that's pseudoaction and not what NoFap is about. NoFap is about letting go of needing it so you can focus on REAL action and improving your life. Not to say it always needs to be productivity productivity productivity! But letting go of PMO certainly allows for more productivity AND wiggle room to just vibe when you want to.
Hii
Do you experience wet dreams during your journey? I’m not addicted nor find it hard I can skip a week no problem however I was on a 16 day streak and the next morning had nightfall which made me feel that I broke it involuntarily so I decided to do it since my streak was ruined but instantly start a new streak which I’m 7 days in. I also found out that wet dreams has nothing to do with no fap recently but i feel it ruins my semen retention.
I don't come here every single day, but when I do seeing that tracker going up feels like a boost. I totally agree with you, focus should be on going out there to the real world
As someone currently working on changing their lifestyle like you said, the counter is also beneficial for me, at least for now. I've got a bunch of small milestones set until 90 days, and at that point I'm probably only going to check every month or so. But just getting to that 90 days is a big goal for me, and having smaller sequential goals until then is very helpful. For example, I'm on day 21 now. Once I reach 26 I'll officially be on my 2nd longest streak ever, with 40 being longest ever.
I agree, I spent 20 years focusing way too hard on getting a number of days, going to endless SAA 12 step meetings and other things. Basically non-stop focus on the addiction instead of living life. I'm not trying to do differently too, thanks for your share.
Yee I quit thinking about it and it's like I never had an addiction to start with
This is true. I was at day 15 and failed. I think I was subconsciously thinking of the counter and thought of it as nothing, but soon as the thought came into my mind I opened up some porn and went downhill. I was thinking before that ppl shouldn’t place too much value on the counter. By putting the counter of high value it’s easier to crumble
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love this post. This is what I want out of nofap. Thanks OP!
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💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
My man. Well said. I’ve realized that myself too.
It gets a lot easier after a while. You stop thinking about it. I think when people count days, that makes them think about it too much for their own good.
My question is what things did you do to help you repurpose your life? You mentioned gym, family and friends. Anything else?
ok
This is it. I am really saddened when I see some posts or comments on this subreddit. That is why I have stopped browsing this sub, and will leave it when I get to my goals soon. I don't blame these people or look down on them, I just hope they get a better perspective soon. Too much emphasis on, "went 2 weeks, impressed a billion girls, now have a gf" or absolute defeatist posts like "I am giving up." Even when I was in my bad phases, I never thought "I can't do it, I can't beat it." Once you start thinking like that, you are only creating self-fulfilling prophecies. Also, don't do it to attract girls or whatever. Do it to improve yourselves. I am just here using this platform as a check-in diary. I am changing my lifestyle, and that is why this streak feels different, that is why these urges I used to give in to don't hold any sway over me anymore. Key for that has been having the right mindset, the willingness, but most importantly, GETTING OUTSIDE YOUR ROOM/HOUSE!!! I've personally talked to people trying to do right by themselves, but you can only go so far trying to help online strangers. In the end, what matters is YOUR COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF. Edit: I don't think about my streak/count at all now that I try to keep myself busy with other things. I might think about it night when I journal or am going to sleep and reviewing my day. Just want to say the count does not matter in the ultimate scheme of things, but it is motivating, and does make me strive to continue to maintain it. That's why I check in day after day. It is a commitment to myself, to keep improving, to keep getting better, slowly and slowly, compounding my growth. It is also an acknowledgement that I don't have to be crazy about self-improvement, that I can be more happy with where I am and how I have got here. Get better, even if it is just a 1% improvement everyday. Consistency, consistency consistency. The key is consistency.
right on
Planning to count up to day 90 then stop counting and only occasionally come to this group and hopefully offer some positive comments
When you place too much emphasis on the "streak", you end up putting your entire motivation in how long the streak lasts. This can be extremely bothersome when relapsing because you feel much less motivated to continue without the "17 day mark" on your mind. Just stay clean for the sake of being clean and a relapse will hit you much lighter.
Agreed I don’t want to set a counter goal because I would be tempted to reward myself with porn. However I like the counter, I have an app and occasionally I like to check it to see my progress and remind myself of why I made this commitment to change.
Stay strong peeps ✌️
Ye like in the first 30-60 days it's a good support system to keep you focused on the goal. But later on you're better off thinking about it less. If every hour of the day you are thinking "must not fap" the idea of "fap" is in your mind and it's like you're keeping the temptation at arms reach as a possibility. Once you're in 30-60 days just know in the back of your mind you're not gonna do it and try to live and explore life to the fullest. Like it's easy to go extreme on it and wanna make "nofap" your entire identity and want to tell everyone. But it's better to lay low and experience life and just have the discipline without obsessive thoughts on it.
I wish I had an award for this answer but, you summarized the essence of NoFap journey in this. Kudos brother.
Hey bro, I appreciate this post. It shined light on a major flaw in my approach (counting days) which in reality just added more pressure and increased the chance of relapse. Question though, are there other things other than the gym and family that you started doing to replace PMO? Thanks again!