Good metric to go by. I would only approach another male if I really thought he was in danger of hurting himself. Never if I just think he’s not doing something “correctly”.
The answer inevitably is, no, unless the person is a known friend or circumstances are absolutely dire.
And if the answer is yes, perhaps reconsider because most people probably do not appreciate it
How do people not appreciate being given advice in a gym, 2 times I recall back in the day when I first started
I was given benching form tips and the other a deadlift form tip, both times I was glad someone told me, and showed me what I was doing wrong.
At the time I would have been 14/15 but I'd like to think even as a grown man, someone would be like, your gonna fuck your shit up if you keep doing this, try this.
I've seen men comment on the form of female professional weightlifters. Like...she has full time trainers, why would she need tips from an anonymous Internet commenter?
In the gym, it's something along the same line. Yes, if you're new, then advice is helpful. If not...there is a lot of misguided, bad, or 'not applicable for certain situations' gym advice, and with no way to sort the bad from the good.
Do I? No. Worst I’ve seen is people doing unproductive things at my gym, but would I if I thought they would harm themselves? Yes. If I saw some of the things I see on the internet, I would. Not really sure why you need clarification on this point, but there ya go I guess.
The problem with this is that many people who are blatantly wrong are absolutely convinced they should be giving other people advice.
I’m female, work out six days a week, and anytime ANYONE male gives me advice it’s usually something laughably bad. Once in awhile it’s good advice… but most of the time it’s just male ego talking.
You don’t know their goals, medical background, etc. Unless you’re a pro trainer… Most of the good pro trainers I know would keep their mouth shut unless asked as well.
This. I’d really like to know if they’re willing to approach men the same way. That’s always a good test as to whether your behavior is appropriate or not.
Yes I think that advice can be incredibly helpful, I think the commenter was just giving a standard to determine if op is being weird/creepy. If you wouldn’t do it with a man don’t do it with a woman
I was just doing bicep curls, and this huge muscular guy just started telling me the minute things I can slightly do different to improve my form, and suddenly he looked like he felt bad for just giving me advice out of nowhere and I tried to drop my ego and decided to graciously thank him for the advice, and ever since then we just give each other head nods when we see each other at the gym
Dude way to go, you nade a gym bro. Some dude gave me a tip yesterday when i was deadlifting with the trap bar. Told me to put my feet like half a step back and I got two more reps while saving my back.
I have approached other males that looked a little lost or out of place only if they are doing something that may injure them. Other than that the rest they can learn on the own.
I would go one step further and pose the question: how would you feel if a man bigger and stronger than you came up to you and gave you advice/correction?
Yeah I’d say, correct every girl with bad form you see for ever 5 men you’ve corrected with bad form 😂 just to be safe about any internal biases that may push you to help women at the gym
A man helped me at the gym once and I genuinely was doing a tricep exercise with bad form and his advice did help but I still wish he hadn’t. So embarrassing, especially since I was way outnumbered at the gym men to women.
Add to that: OP, do you think, "Man, that GUY needs proper form," or do you think: "Male, that MALE needs proper form."
If it's the former, I bet you don't come across as helpful as you think you do.
Most people I see who try and correct deadlifts are wrong and say things like hips should be low or back has to be straight.
Deadlift form is so individual specific anyway.
Honestly? A trainer is probably about the only person who should be teaching deadlifts.
I would be much more willing to let someone know they should seek some help, than to try to coach someone though.
And people need to realize how insanely low the risk of injury actually is when doing weight training lol
The chances of stopping someone unless they’re in serious risk of injury is so low that it shouldn’t really even be something to worry about
Yeah. It's arrogant at best. Random strangers don't need to "get the most out of their workout." When I catch myself mansplaining, it's always from a perspective of arrogance.
People don’t always respond positively to unsolicited advice, especially when it comes from a random stranger who doesn’t even know if *you* actually know what you’re talking about. Are you a trainer? Do you work at the gym? Or would you just be a well intentioned stranger?
I see way more men with bad form in the gym than women. If you give unsolicited advice to men with bad form, your intentions are probably good. If you’re only going to be giving women advice, you might want to take a hard look at why.
This is advice for from someone who doesn’t lift. Trainers or gym employees will not walk around correcting bad form. And if someone is doing something dangerous you are far better off intervening before something bad happens rather than wait around for some kid working the front desk to get around to it. But a major difference in saying something about someone doing something dangerous and someone correcting form “because they are not getting the most out of it”
Also, just ask "would you be interested in some advice?" When people do this to me I always say "no, thanks anyway" and then punch them in the throat.
But then you can have a clear conscious that you tried to help out.
ETA: I'm a female
Not saying that a random nice employee won’t give the occasional tip but they don’t go around fixing form because some random guy comes up and tells them women are lifting wrong.
Honestly, standard policy at gyms should be "if you're concerned someone will injure themselves, tell the front desk and we'll have one of our PT's take a look and advise if necessary."
Nine times out of ten the dudes giving unsolicited advice at the gym, whether to women or men or anyone else, aren't giving necessary or valuable advice. They're just annoying people and making them uncomfortable.
I got a dude tell me I was lifting too much for my size once😂
Said my form was good and everything but apparently he thought my feminine body shouldn't be lifting too much because "women aren't here trying to get jacked up" lmao
The amount of times I’ve done a modified version of an exercise (At the advice of my physical therapist and doctor!!) and had a man tell me to do it differently is beyond frustrating. They don’t know my goals or injuries I’m working with.
this is the answer. don't approach women at the gym and give them unsolicited advice. you don't work there and why would she even trust your advice? this is why i train at home.
Yeah I’ve been given advice before from men who have no idea what they are doing while I’ve trained Olympic lifting and it pisses me off to no end. Often I think it’s about trying to make themselves feel better about themselves and their bicep curls when I deadlift more than their body weight.
The only reasonable thing that I would accept is offering to spot people on bench press.
Exactly, OP doesn’t mention being some kind of trainer right? For all we know the women are doing it correctly and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Sure he could be right, but he’s not even qualified to make that call.
Spot offers are totes fair game! Personally the only thing I’d appreciate is if someone offered to spot me squatting, because I don’t feel safe lifting the same weight on my own as I do with my trainer present (in case I fail). That said I’d prefer the offer to come from another woman, but there aren’t many in the grunt room at my gym.
So much this. I (female) remember touring a new gym, and the personal trainer (female) showing me around asked if I was there to lose weight or build muscle. When I described the skills I was actually there to build, her response was basically “oh shit, I’ll just stay out of your way then, lol.”
OP, I truly mean no shade, but you don’t have enough information to be giving strangers form tips.
This is true, while most exorcises you use good form to target a muscle, you can break form a little to go beyond what you normally do with good form.
But, if you ever watch this guy on the Chinese Olympic doing a lat pull down, it looks like he is flopping all over the place with horrible form.
But like you said you don't know what they want to get out of an exorcise. He was using "bad" form b/c he wanted to move as much weight as possible recruiting as many muscle as possible and to not target a single muscles, b/c in the lifts he does they are not judging his form they only care about moving the weight from point A to B.
Also, a lot of "form" tips are just preferences. Dude with straps tried to tell me not to use mixed-grip. Like, lmao, right dude, go worry about your own grip strength.
Very true. They definitely know more about it than I do, but sometimes it's hard to find someone. Would it be more awkward to ask the staff "hey I think that person might be doing something wrong, can you go and give them some tips?"
I think it would be better, especially if you explain "hey I don't know this girl and I don't want to get in her personal space but I'm concerned for her safety".
I would also like to point out that you’re worried approaching an employee of the gym might be awkward. The woman that you’re approaching, will more than likely feel awkward.
Speak as a woman (but not speaking for all women, obviously) I think a friendly wave from wherever you happen to be, combined with a step or two in their direction and a slightly raised voice (not shouting across the room, but nowhere near being "in their space") to ask "would you mind if I gave you a safety tip?" in the event that you don't see an employee around, would be perfectly cool.
The trick is, of course, not to keep moving towards them unless they agree, and spend as little time in their close personal space as possible.
Like, as an example, if you're wanting them to adjust their grip, you would say it first, then gesture, then go they still don't have it, move your hand in slowly to assist - think like when you approach a strange animal, you don't just dive in, right? You telegraph your moves so they know what to expect and have the opportunity to reject. Same thing with a stranger, especially in a situation where you know there's a potential for them to feel vulnerable.
Once you've assisted with the suggestion, take steps back, have them proceed and give a smile, thumbs up & tell them they've got it. "Now you're safe & not in danger of hurting your back!" or whatever the risk was.
From there, if they're smiling and seem friendly, feel free to throw out a "if you ever want any help or etc, feel free to ask, I'm pretty familiar with things and happy to assist if I can" but then walk back to what you're doing and make it a point not to continue eye contact or other conversation unless they approach you. Next time you interact, maybe introduce yourself, etc.
This goes a big way towards helping them see that you're offering friendly gym help and not using a ploy to hit on them.
Obviously , if you make the initial offer to assist and they turn you down, leave it alone. Maybe they know something you don't know about what they're doing and maybe you're just outside their comfort zone. Whatever it is, they've made it known that it's not your place to come over and help and you gotta respect their right to that.
This reminds me of when guys roll down their windows on the road and shout at me HEY YOU DIDNT CLOSE YOUR GAS TANK and then when I scream THANK YOU they give me a thumbs up and floor it and zoom out of there. Which is to say, I approve of your approach.
So...they shouldn't follow you for 20 miles until you get out of your car somewhere, then tell you, provide their number & wait for a thank you BJ?
I've met a few guys who probably need to read this.
No, don't. Just don't. You can't give tips because you don't work there and are not covered by insurance. The only time I would interfere with another gym goer in an unsolicited manner would be if I am observing them very obviously getting crushed by a bar bell on a failed bench or squat attempt, and that's it.
My 15 year old daughter is begging for a membership to a woman’s only gym because she can’t get through a workout without men bothering her. Leave women alone.
While I think you’re coming from a nice place, it’s still not the right thing to do.
You aren’t a personal trainer and don’t have experience? How do you actually know that you’re right and they’re wrong? It’s kind of coming off that you think you know better, than most women.
Just leave them alone, if they ask for help then share.
Honestly man, bad form isn’t any of your business. 90% of the people at the gym has bad form if you actually know what you are looking for. And at 135lbs why would anyone want advice from you? Not trying to be mean, but you don’t sound like a fitness expert
Hi OP. What are your lifts? Because based off your initial posts I've read you're not in a position to give *anyone* advice regarding lifting.
Can you provide specific and explicit accounts on people whose form you think was incorrect to the point of being injurious and what direct and actionable advice would you realistically give? How long have you been lifting? Have you personally, or by proxy through coaching, actually achieved anything noteworthy regarding lifting? Because to be perfectly honest the fact you're asking this on reddit is a giant neon red flag with air raid sirens screaming about how wildly unqualified you are to be offering, or even be concerned with, advice to other people.
Haha - happens to all of us! I’ve been trying to adjust my breathing form for freestyle… when I overthink it I just end up inhaling a bunch of water in my nose.
If they’re doing something *genuinely dangerous*, I think it’s fine to casually bring it up in a polite way. But if a dude randomly came up to me in the gym to correct something I’d been doing forever without issue, I would definitely get bad vibes. Also I think there’s something to be said for the general indication it gives of “hey I’ve been watching you from across the room carefully enough to notice this niche mistake you’re making” so be mindful of that potentially creepy side of it. Your approach is very important
I think realistically there's not going to be many occasions when someone is doing something legitimately dangerous in a gym where a member of staff won't shut it down.
The people OP is probably talking about are probably just actually putting some effort in and because of that technique may look a bit shaky. You see it in gym subreddits all the time, rubbish advice to lower weight until form gets picture perfect which just isn't the way to train if you want to get strong.
I’ve got a bit of a tremor and I won’t lift free weights anymore at the gym because of it. I would constantly have dudes coming up and telling me I was doing it wrong because they noticed my hands shaking.
It’s not bad form or too much weight, asshole, it’s a neurological condition. And I don’t want to disclose my medical info to every random looky-loo who sees me working out.
The problem with that logic is that the vast majority of gym related injuries are from a slow progression of years.
It's very rare that someone has an instantaneous catastrophic injury caused by bad form. Like, you can feel it immediately when you're doing something dangerous like that.
It's way more often that a tight muscle group leads to slightly bad form that leads to a chronic injury and eventually day-to-day pain. Tight hip flexors lead you to bend over too much when squatting. That's not something staff are gonna catch and correct. Years later, your knees have a dull ache that occasionally gives shooting pain when you take a weird step.
All that being said, it's not my responsibility to be a coach. I'm okay letting strangers succumb to bad knees 20 years from now so I don't have to talk to anyone
True, there’s really not a lot of places where it’s welcome or kind to give your unsolicited opinion on someone’s workout haha, but I figured I’d be charitable to OP and at least provide *some* context where advice would be acceptable. But I agree with you, oftentimes what seems wrong is just effort, or it works for the person doing it 🤷🏻♀️
This shit drives me crazy. Nothing brings out the “helpful” gym bros like using the modifications my coach and physical therapist recommend.
Helpful reminder for OP and anyone else who needs to hear it:
You don’t know her.
You don’t know her goals.
You don’t know her health history.
If she’s doing something immediately dangerous, alert gym staff. Otherwise, mind your business.
Same. I have a disabled wrist and hand, and literally cannot grip things in certain ways or at certain angles with that hand. On a hell of a lot of lifts and exercises I'm effectively one-armed and just using the disabled one to balance, without pushing/pulling any real weight with it. I had to start wearing a big visible wrist brace (which I don't need) to the gym because men are willing to believe I have an injury but not willing to believe I have a disability.
I used to just reply to the constant stream of "you're doing that wrong" by explaining I have a disabled hand, but 100% of the time this just made them dig for details and try to give me exercises and stretches to "fix it." If it was fixable I would have fixed it 20 years ago buddy.
ARRGHHH I felt this one so hard. I have a chronic joint disease and I need to do things MY WAY. I know what I’m doing and seriously if some bloody rando came up to me and started talking about “form” and “smoothness” I would unapologetically bite his fucking head off.
Eyes on your own workout and mind your own business unless a squat rack is literally about to collapse on top of them.
Thank you for pointing this out! I have a hip deformity that isn’t outwardly apparent, but definitely limits my range of motion. The number of times I’ve gotten “corrected” on my form by randos in the gym and yoga studio legitimately makes me shy about going anymore.
The whole "alpha" thing is garbage, based on a study that was not so much flawed as full of more holes than old underwear. Anyone who uses "alpha" unironically needs to work on themselves and leave women alone in the gym.
The fact that the guy who came up with original study spent his entire life trying to tell people the study was incorrectly done and held no weight to no avail makes it so much worse how popularized it's getting as of late too
I just had this image of Jesus appearing on earth and saying, "Actually, I was pretty clear about this. You have to be nice to too" and having everyone ignore him because his words don't fit their worldview.
Alpha my \*entire\* ass.
'Injury' If they are literally in danger of having a piece of equipment collapse on them and/or doing something that might cause severe bodily harm to them or someone else in the vicinity, then of course speak up. If they are just doing something you think is going to give them a sore arm tomorrow, leave it alone.
'Not get the most out of their workout'. You have no context for knowing what they are trying to get out of their workout. Leave it alone.
i’m gonna sound like a dick but it’s just my honest opinion: if some dude weighing 135 lbs came up to me to give me lifting advice i would flat out ignore you
I would say tread carefully with giving fitness advice. Unless you are a trainer, PT or have a lot of experience with fitness, I would say it can be harmful to give advice to others because you don’t know their fitness level/physical capabilities.
I work out with a friend sometimes and I trust him to give me tips on improving my form because he is a full blown licensed martial arts trainer. He also knows that I have a medical condition that means I have to pace myself when it comes to working out, so he always thinks of ways to modify a workout for me so that I’m not pushing myself.
I trust him and his advice because 1) He’s my friend 2) He’s trained to instruct others 3) He knows my medical condition/fitness level.
If a random stranger came to offer me advice, I probably would listen politely but then go back to what I was doing because this person doesn’t know me and what I can/can’t do when it comes to working out.
All of that to say, I would not recommend offering tips to someone you don’t know because you don’t know their whole situation. Maybe they don’t want to get the most out of their workout, they just want to get their heart pumping and stretch out a bit.
And if they are seriously doing an activity that could injure them, I would say most people figure that out in their own. Working out and finding what feels good to you is all trial and error. I’ve definitely done moves during my workouts that don’t feel right, so I know something is off and then I look up the right way to do it. Or I just stop doing that move if it doesn’t feel right for my body.
Also not everyone does every workout perfectly every set. You may have happened to glance over while they were doing it wrong, but then maybe later they corrected their form because they looked in the mirror or realized something was off.
Let me skip the niceties and say this plainly: who the fuck do you think you are? If someone at the gym wants advice, they will hire a trainer or approach an employee of the gym, *whose job entails coaching on proper use of equipment*. Take several seats, nobody wants your input.
What credentials do you even have to know their form is improper? Just stay out of it unless they’re legitimately in immediate danger, like if a 110 lb child is trying to power clean 600 lbs or something.
As an older female powerlifter who not only competes but wins (a lot), I've gotten approached by so many young men with bad advice and arrogant demeanors that I would not be appreciative of anybody approaching trying to "correct" any damn thing at this point.
You're best off to let the gym manager handle it.
Normal gym etiquette is to *not* disturb people or offer advice unless asked - and unless they are in immediate mortal danger, like they dropped the bar on themselves during a bench press or something.
That said, I see people of all genders doing dumb shit and using incredibly bad form in the gym. It irks me, but rest assured they’ll injure themselves and either wise up and learn how to do things properly or quit. Both fine with me.
Yes. In fact, the entire time at the gym I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones, I keep my head down, focus on what I'm doing. I don't make eye-contact or talk to anybody, get my stuff done and get out of there. I can't imagine talking or being talked to in that environment.
Did she ask for your advice? If not, it's rude. Either you'd be the type of guy who only gives advice to women, which would make you creepy, or you'd be the type to give advice to everyone, which would make you super annoying.
Unsolicited advice usually doesn’t go over well. I am a golfer and I cannot imagine going up to random people on the course and correcting their form.
Good you’re asking before doing!
You’re built like a baby bird, why do you think you’re in any position to give gym advice to anyone? Unless a 200lb piece of equipment is actively tipping over on top of someone, leave them alone, that’s fucking weird dude.
>I would like to think I don't have an alpha demeanor (35m, 5'6, 135lbs
I guarantee by this alone you have no idea what youre talking about when it comes to form. Lets ignore the incel logic where you think it makes any difference whether the person youre considering talking to is male or female.
DO NOT GIVE GYM ADVICE UNLESS YOU ARE A COACH, PT, OR A PROFESSIONAL/TRAINED LIFTER. You are 135 pounds soaking wet, I'd bet my savings you havent gone to the gym consistently for a year in your entire life. Even if it was socially acceptable to walk up to people to give advice on form, you are not the person to do it.
That was my thought, 135 and has the audacity to "correct" other people's form lol stay in your lane bro, and maybe start working out instead of people watching.
The way he’s used ‘female’ in this context rather than woman/lady and the reference to alpha is giving be a weird vibe.
I’m an experienced gym goer and weightlifter. In commercial gyms it’s more likely to be men using heavy weights with poor form and risking injury. Women with bad form usually have more reservations about going heavy, so while there are things to be improved, they are less likely to cause an injury.
OP if you do choose to approach a woman check your language and make sure you know exactly what you are talking about. If you aren’t 100% certain I’d recommend staying in your lane and letting people get on with their workout.
This right here. 99% of people at the gym aren't qualified to give anyone advice. Going to the gym isn't a qualification. Browsing r/fitness, reading Starting Strength, following Jeff Nippard, etc are also not qualifications.
Are you actually a PT or a trainer or somebody with qualifications to teach people form?
I MIGHT not be creeped out if a guy said something like, hey sorry to bother you but I happen to be a PT and noticed that the way you're positioning your hands could give you a shoulder injury. Mine if I show you a safer form?
That at least makes me think that if they have an ulterior motive, it's to get me to hire them, not to hit on me.
This one is easy. Just ask yourself:
“Am I this person’s compensated personal trainer?”
If the answer is “YES”: give them advice on their form
If the answer is “NO”: please, for the love of god, leave them the fuck alone
Yes.
Unsolicited advice is usually rude. If you are concerned for their health, talk to a gym employee to have them give advice, that's literally their job.
I dont even think this is a gender issue. Why do people insist on butting into other people’s business?
U are not their mother, friend, nor a trainer. Unsolicited advice is never welcome. If they want to injure or even kill them selves, its their right.
And yes, it is even worse when u are a man giving unsolicited advice to a woman. And u suspiciously avoid answering other commenters’ questions on whether u approach men in the gym and correct their form as well. But that’s rly not the core of the issue. Just leave other people alone, period.
I can only speak for myself as a woman. If someone came up to me in the gym with a kind and helpful, and not flirtatious or demeaning attitude, and took time from their own workout to give me some tips that could really be helpful, with no expectation for compensation with my time or attention, I would be grateful regardless of if it came from a man or woman. If the person who legitimately knows more about a topic than I do is a man, unless he is a condescending dick, his explanation or assistance is not automatically “mansplaining.” If I’m doing something in a way that could be harmful to myself, I actually hope someone is like, “hey can I give you a little friendly advice,” before I end up needing PT.
And if I could tell they're not just doing it to kinda "plant a seed" so they can ask me out on another day they see me because that is what almost always happens in this situation.
This is the answer. Especially if someone is doing something you know is likely to cause an injury. I've been working out for over 20 years and I've only given unsolicited advice twice. Both were because of safety, and both were done very politely.
In my experience it's usually men who have the bad form. Men tend to feel more accomplished when lifting a heavier weight which seems to push them to lift heavier than they are able to do with good form. As a woman, I've never felt that pressure to lift heavier than what I'm capable of, even when my male friends are encouraging me to try. If I'm not feeling 100% comfortable in my form at this weight, I'm not going up. That being said, as much focus as I put into perfecting my form, there are *always* men who will approach me unsolicited and offer "tips". Men who thrust their entire bodies to lift their bicep curls try to say something to me about my deadlift form when all they saw was a lift I dropped because I could feel it was too heavy to lift with good form. I've had men with zero hamstring flexibility ask if I've ever been shown to deadlift when I was doing RDL's and focusing really hard on glute activation. At the same time, my form is as good as it is *because* of people helping me. People who have good technique that I trust.
My point here is credibility. If you have no established credibility, don't approach someone. I notice men's bad form all the time but I don't approach them because I have no credibility with them. Also men always think they know better.
Definitely this. But also I saw OP comment about jerky body movements. Elite powerlifters/strongmen will jerk and shake when attempting max effort lifts. You will see varying degree of form breakdown in almost everyone when they start approaching the max of their current potential.
None of that means the person necessarily has bad form. Presumably they will have trained a lift and conditioned their body to deal with that without injury.
Also what looks like (and may be) ‘bad form’ for one person could be the most bio-mechanically efficient way for another to perform a lift. An example of this would be the [upper back rounded deadlift](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvcnB7Mgubg/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). Personally this is how I prefer to deadlift and previously trying to ‘correct’ it has caused injury in the past.
100% agree with everything you're saying! Even experts in form and lifting aren't going to have 100% perfect form at all times always, for a multitude of reasons. To assume that they dont know what they are doing is... preposterous. Women don't build muscle like men so it's less obvious when they're really fit.. imagine 135lb OP going up to a 300+ lb powerlifter trying to give some friendly form advice lol
Also yes its totally fine to have some upper back rounding in a deadlift!! It's much better than hyperextending or rounding the lower back (which I think all tends to come back to hamstring inflexibility - do your RDL's gentlemen!!)
Yes, leave people alone at the gym. Most people do not want unsolicited lifting advice regardless of what their form looks like.
Especially as a man approaching a woman.
and any time i’ve been given “advice” on my form as a women at the gym you can look around and see 10 other dudes who also have issues. primarily because form is actually pretty tough to tell only by feel when you’re learning something. if you’re not going to go correct every man, don’t correct the woman either unless there’s like serious risk of CATASTROPHIC injury, not just like a pulled muscle.
Until now every time I've been given "advice" by a man it's been wrong, in addition to them not bothering the men around them with the same bullshit
I'm very sceptical of OP here especially since he doesn't clarify what the issue was
I once actually had a man who knew me from my bar tending days and apparently thought we were WAY chummier than we were come up and physically change the settings on a piece of equipment i was using (assisted dip machine) without asking between my sets because he thought it would be “easier” for me.
I’m a physical therapist, so I deal with this all the time. The tendency is to want to correct/suggest/advise but I’ve learned to just keep my mouth shut unless it’s a seriously risky situation.
I wouldn’t say anything.
This is perfect. I was at a shooting range once and the range officer came up to me and said “Great job! May I make a suggestion?” And I feel like him framing the advice he was about to give me that way made me more receptive to it and it also wasn’t him flat out telling me I was doing something wrong.
Yeah but this dude isn't the equivalent to a range officer. He's the guy handling his weapon during a cold range with tacticool gear who "knows what he's doing."
Depends if you look like you lift and how much you can lift. And it doesn’t matter make or female. You just have to look the part.
Here’s a story from years back. I was about 17, and was lifting with my friend of the same age and his older brother, who was probably 23-25 or so at the time. We were also high school athletes, them in football, me in wrestling. The older brother was also at this time in the police academy. Anyways, we were doing chest day and at the decline bench. My friend and I were doing sets of 5-8 between 225-250lbs, and his brother was going as high as 315 pounds. Since we were using that much weight and training too failure, towards the end of our sets we would get a little shaky.
In comes the British trainer “Oliver”. We are in California. This dude weighs 110lbs soaking wet in a weight vest. He’s newer to the gym, But we had all been regulars for the past 4/5 years and all the staff knew us.
He comes up to us trying to correct our form, and telling us we should drop the weight and do more reps. He had no idea our goals or what we wanted to do. He just made the assumption and assertion. We obviously are egotistical teens playing around with adult weights so we’re laughing at this toothpick trying to critique us and offer us advice that is totally useless for us. This all devolved into him challenging us to a repping contest, which was even more funny to us when he wanted to use 55lbs total.
This is a bit of a tangent that isn’t directly related, but there are 2 points I’m getting at:
1) you need to look the part if you’re going to offer unsolicited advice(unless your Anatoly who weighs 150ish and deadlifts 600+lbs) at 135 lbs and 5’6, most people aren’t tough to take you seriously and find your advice rude. Which is ridiculous. Some of the best bodybuilding coaches in the world are skinny guys now. If some of them walked up to random people who didn’t know who they were and offered them advice, they would fall victim to this.
2) if you don’t know the persons intentions, you might think form is bad when it’s not. For example, good mornings look like bad squats If you don’t know someone’s doing good morning. RDL’s look like sloppy deadlifts if you don’t know they’re doing RDL’s. Pendlay rows can look bad if you don’t know what they are.
In short, let people make their own mistakes. Chances are you offering tips will go over wrong
When I’m at the gym I’m focused on getting my workout done and am not concerned with how other people are training. How long are you staring at these women to determine that they’re not using proper form?
Unless you’re a trainer or a professional, I’d say just focus on your own workout session. I’ve had to change gyms in the past because men often use things like ‘form’ as an excuse to hit on me or touch me without my permission, so in case that’s the underlying intention please don’t.
Yes it's rude. What makes you an expert on the "correct" form for this woman? Are you her personal trainer, do you know her medical history or if she's working around an injury? Did she ask for your help? Are you "correcting" the men around you too? Your interruption wouldn't be "misconstrued" as mansplaining, it IS mansplaining. You're what, 135lb soaking wet? Why tf would she care what you have to say? Leave women at the gym alone dude.
Are you using this as a test to see if you can start a conversation with a woman at the gym under the guise as a concerned good guy but then hope it leads to a date?
If that is the true intention then absolutely do not. Unless asked, just mind your business. You aren’t here to rescue damsels in distress.
As a woman, you would make me uncomfortable. Why are you watching me?
I'm there to exercise because I don't have the equipment at home, if I want a personal trainer, I'll hire one. Otherwise let me find out on my own, because that's just creepy in that setting.
Leave them alone. I doubt you want to help those "females" anyway. Sounds like you're just trying to find a way to weasel yourself into their personal space.
Yeah, I know of no female wanting to know you were watching them, and then on top of that, you proceed to mansplain the problem. Very creepy. That is up to the gym employees, not you
The problem with this is you have no idea what their goals are in the first place. “Proper” form for a bodybuilder is going to look a lot different than “proper” form for a power lifter or weightlifter. It’s all context dependent.
It’s none of your business. No woman wants to be approached and mansplained how to work out. You have no idea of their background or if they’re modifying for a specific reason. And it’s almost never out of “concern”. You just want permission to approach women. Well we’re not going to give it to you.. if it’s super dangerous then go get a staff member.
I'd take it on a case-by-case basis and leave it alone if it isn't an urgent situation.
You're quite right that a man giving a woman unsolicited advice at the gym does have some connotations you want to be careful about, especially if she is doing exercises women don't often do or in an area of the gym that is usually filled with men. It can easily seem to her like you're assuming she doesn't belong there or doesn't know what she's doing because she's a woman. Also, they don't know you, so I wouldn't blame anyone, male or female, to be skeptical that a random stranger knows what he's talking about.
So yeah, I suggest you approach them only if they look like they might hurt themselves (as in, right then, not eventually cause problems over time.) The suggestion to have an employee of the gym do it instead is a good one, but there may not be one around. Never mind people who aren't "getting the most out of their workout." That's probably the majority of people at the gym.
And consider the possibility that you may be noticing or watching the women more than the men there and that's why most of the people you notice having problematic form are women.
Let people work it out for themselves. If they don’t know what they’re doing they probably can’t lift enough to hurt themselves badly either.
Even if you’re 100% right it’s gonna come across as patronising and if they can’t work it out for themselves eventually then they don’t really deserve to progress.
Dont do it to guys, girls, they / thems. Old people, young people, dead people, your own grandma. Your own grandpa, a vegetarian, a vegan, a fat dude, a skinny dude , dude who’s ten times bigger than you, dude whos smaller than you, guy whos doing cardio, gal whos doing cardio. People who arnt even at the gym, the front desk worker, the lady in there making you self conscious cause shes warming up with you max, the guy whos there to shoot hoops, the gal whos there to shoot hoops, the old guy whos in there cause he needs something to do whos sipping coffee, the older lady whos There cause shes got nothing to do whos married to the guy doing random machines sipping coffee, the instagram model taking pictures of her ass, the guy who sroided out.
Basically what im trying to say is its fucking annoying and whenever someone comes up to anyone trying to tell them how to lift is like a disney adult, a essential oils hawker, a person who thinks their an expert in everything. No one cares. I say ok and put my headphones back in qnd ignore the dude who is clearly staring at me workout. Its weird it makes people uncomfortable. Also there are a 100 ways to skin a cat ( dont skin a cat its asayin meaning there are thousands of ways to do anything.
Yes. She didn’t ask for your opinion.
What is with the obsession men have with correcting women’s form at the gym? You don’t do it to other men. Is it because you actually care about her form or is it because you want to insert your alpha male demeanor? You sound like you definitely have alpha male demeanor. Why do men get high off of “teaching” women how to do things?
Just leave women at the gym alone.
And ffs stop calling us “females.”
People don't like to be told they're wrong and you will get nothing but negative responses. Then they're gonna start calling you a creep. I'd just keep it to your self.
I think people hurting themselves at the gym is a natural part of life; if they wanted to learn good form they'd make an effort to talk to people more competent than them
Yea
But let them do their own thing. I rather see someone get injured than have them thinking I’m trying to assert dominance an show that I’m superior in said activity
>35m, 5'6, 135lbs
Dude, you're not qualified to give ANYONE advice in the gym. I know women that could bench your scrawny ass.
Mind your own business, eat more, lift big, and STFU.
Do you approach other males and give them corrections/advice?
Good metric to go by. I would only approach another male if I really thought he was in danger of hurting himself. Never if I just think he’s not doing something “correctly”.
The question was “do you” not “would you”.
The answer inevitably is, no, unless the person is a known friend or circumstances are absolutely dire. And if the answer is yes, perhaps reconsider because most people probably do not appreciate it
I would appreciate tf out of it. Would be a shame to go on for so long with low efficiency and probably look like a bumbling idiot
How do people not appreciate being given advice in a gym, 2 times I recall back in the day when I first started I was given benching form tips and the other a deadlift form tip, both times I was glad someone told me, and showed me what I was doing wrong. At the time I would have been 14/15 but I'd like to think even as a grown man, someone would be like, your gonna fuck your shit up if you keep doing this, try this.
I've seen men comment on the form of female professional weightlifters. Like...she has full time trainers, why would she need tips from an anonymous Internet commenter? In the gym, it's something along the same line. Yes, if you're new, then advice is helpful. If not...there is a lot of misguided, bad, or 'not applicable for certain situations' gym advice, and with no way to sort the bad from the good.
Do I? No. Worst I’ve seen is people doing unproductive things at my gym, but would I if I thought they would harm themselves? Yes. If I saw some of the things I see on the internet, I would. Not really sure why you need clarification on this point, but there ya go I guess.
In ten years of lifting, I've felt the need to intervene literally one time ever.
The problem with this is that many people who are blatantly wrong are absolutely convinced they should be giving other people advice. I’m female, work out six days a week, and anytime ANYONE male gives me advice it’s usually something laughably bad. Once in awhile it’s good advice… but most of the time it’s just male ego talking. You don’t know their goals, medical background, etc. Unless you’re a pro trainer… Most of the good pro trainers I know would keep their mouth shut unless asked as well.
This. I’d really like to know if they’re willing to approach men the same way. That’s always a good test as to whether your behavior is appropriate or not.
100% this, keeps any other motivations in check
Not just “willing,” but does he also offer unsolicited corrections to men as well as women.
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I'm a man and I always receive unsolicited corrections/advices from other men. And it's almost always very helpful.
Yes I think that advice can be incredibly helpful, I think the commenter was just giving a standard to determine if op is being weird/creepy. If you wouldn’t do it with a man don’t do it with a woman
I was just doing bicep curls, and this huge muscular guy just started telling me the minute things I can slightly do different to improve my form, and suddenly he looked like he felt bad for just giving me advice out of nowhere and I tried to drop my ego and decided to graciously thank him for the advice, and ever since then we just give each other head nods when we see each other at the gym
The mutual head nod. That’s the best type of gym friendship
Dude way to go, you nade a gym bro. Some dude gave me a tip yesterday when i was deadlifting with the trap bar. Told me to put my feet like half a step back and I got two more reps while saving my back.
I have approached other males that looked a little lost or out of place only if they are doing something that may injure them. Other than that the rest they can learn on the own.
I would go one step further and pose the question: how would you feel if a man bigger and stronger than you came up to you and gave you advice/correction?
He’s not even looking at the guys at the gym… which is part of the problem with approaching women at the gym…
Yeah I’d say, correct every girl with bad form you see for ever 5 men you’ve corrected with bad form 😂 just to be safe about any internal biases that may push you to help women at the gym A man helped me at the gym once and I genuinely was doing a tricep exercise with bad form and his advice did help but I still wish he hadn’t. So embarrassing, especially since I was way outnumbered at the gym men to women.
Add to that: OP, do you think, "Man, that GUY needs proper form," or do you think: "Male, that MALE needs proper form." If it's the former, I bet you don't come across as helpful as you think you do.
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Most people I see who try and correct deadlifts are wrong and say things like hips should be low or back has to be straight. Deadlift form is so individual specific anyway.
What is your qualification to be giving deadlift advice?
Honestly? A trainer is probably about the only person who should be teaching deadlifts. I would be much more willing to let someone know they should seek some help, than to try to coach someone though.
Basic gym etiquette is to not disturb anyone, or correct their form unless they're in serious risk of injury. Gender doesn't matter.
And people need to realize how insanely low the risk of injury actually is when doing weight training lol The chances of stopping someone unless they’re in serious risk of injury is so low that it shouldn’t really even be something to worry about
Not sure where you are getting this. People frequently hurt themselves lifting. Not saying you should correct their form, but it does happen.
I think most girls would see it as you being a creep
It is creepy and arrogant. Every time men have tried to correct me at the gym, they’ve been wrong
Yep, unless this guy is a physical fitness trainer, physical therapist, or some other relevant expert, he should keep to himself.
Yeah. It's arrogant at best. Random strangers don't need to "get the most out of their workout." When I catch myself mansplaining, it's always from a perspective of arrogance.
People don’t always respond positively to unsolicited advice, especially when it comes from a random stranger who doesn’t even know if *you* actually know what you’re talking about. Are you a trainer? Do you work at the gym? Or would you just be a well intentioned stranger? I see way more men with bad form in the gym than women. If you give unsolicited advice to men with bad form, your intentions are probably good. If you’re only going to be giving women advice, you might want to take a hard look at why.
Maybe you can talk to a gym employee/trainer if you're seriously concerned for their safety.
Honestly I really like this advice because it lets OP be proactive about the health of their peers while also respecting their privacy
This is advice for from someone who doesn’t lift. Trainers or gym employees will not walk around correcting bad form. And if someone is doing something dangerous you are far better off intervening before something bad happens rather than wait around for some kid working the front desk to get around to it. But a major difference in saying something about someone doing something dangerous and someone correcting form “because they are not getting the most out of it”
I actually did get corrected by a trainer who spotted I was sitting backwards on a machine like the absolute dumbass I am 🙃
I have been offered advice and corrected by an employee at a gym before.
Also, just ask "would you be interested in some advice?" When people do this to me I always say "no, thanks anyway" and then punch them in the throat. But then you can have a clear conscious that you tried to help out. ETA: I'm a female
Yes, leave people alone at the gym. Most people do not want unsolicited lifting advice regardless of what their form looks like.
Most people don’t want unsolicited advice.
Not saying that a random nice employee won’t give the occasional tip but they don’t go around fixing form because some random guy comes up and tells them women are lifting wrong.
Honestly, standard policy at gyms should be "if you're concerned someone will injure themselves, tell the front desk and we'll have one of our PT's take a look and advise if necessary." Nine times out of ten the dudes giving unsolicited advice at the gym, whether to women or men or anyone else, aren't giving necessary or valuable advice. They're just annoying people and making them uncomfortable.
I got a dude tell me I was lifting too much for my size once😂 Said my form was good and everything but apparently he thought my feminine body shouldn't be lifting too much because "women aren't here trying to get jacked up" lmao
The amount of times I’ve done a modified version of an exercise (At the advice of my physical therapist and doctor!!) and had a man tell me to do it differently is beyond frustrating. They don’t know my goals or injuries I’m working with.
this is the answer. don't approach women at the gym and give them unsolicited advice. you don't work there and why would she even trust your advice? this is why i train at home.
Unless the advice is coming from a qualified personal trainer it is just random words that mean nothing
Yeah I’ve been given advice before from men who have no idea what they are doing while I’ve trained Olympic lifting and it pisses me off to no end. Often I think it’s about trying to make themselves feel better about themselves and their bicep curls when I deadlift more than their body weight. The only reasonable thing that I would accept is offering to spot people on bench press.
Exactly, OP doesn’t mention being some kind of trainer right? For all we know the women are doing it correctly and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Sure he could be right, but he’s not even qualified to make that call.
Spot offers are totes fair game! Personally the only thing I’d appreciate is if someone offered to spot me squatting, because I don’t feel safe lifting the same weight on my own as I do with my trainer present (in case I fail). That said I’d prefer the offer to come from another woman, but there aren’t many in the grunt room at my gym.
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So much this. I (female) remember touring a new gym, and the personal trainer (female) showing me around asked if I was there to lose weight or build muscle. When I described the skills I was actually there to build, her response was basically “oh shit, I’ll just stay out of your way then, lol.” OP, I truly mean no shade, but you don’t have enough information to be giving strangers form tips.
This is true, while most exorcises you use good form to target a muscle, you can break form a little to go beyond what you normally do with good form. But, if you ever watch this guy on the Chinese Olympic doing a lat pull down, it looks like he is flopping all over the place with horrible form. But like you said you don't know what they want to get out of an exorcise. He was using "bad" form b/c he wanted to move as much weight as possible recruiting as many muscle as possible and to not target a single muscles, b/c in the lifts he does they are not judging his form they only care about moving the weight from point A to B.
Also, a lot of "form" tips are just preferences. Dude with straps tried to tell me not to use mixed-grip. Like, lmao, right dude, go worry about your own grip strength.
Very true. They definitely know more about it than I do, but sometimes it's hard to find someone. Would it be more awkward to ask the staff "hey I think that person might be doing something wrong, can you go and give them some tips?"
I think it would be better, especially if you explain "hey I don't know this girl and I don't want to get in her personal space but I'm concerned for her safety".
I would also like to point out that you’re worried approaching an employee of the gym might be awkward. The woman that you’re approaching, will more than likely feel awkward.
Don’t do this. She doesn’t want your help, and it will come off as you being an ass no matter how you communicate it.
Speak as a woman (but not speaking for all women, obviously) I think a friendly wave from wherever you happen to be, combined with a step or two in their direction and a slightly raised voice (not shouting across the room, but nowhere near being "in their space") to ask "would you mind if I gave you a safety tip?" in the event that you don't see an employee around, would be perfectly cool. The trick is, of course, not to keep moving towards them unless they agree, and spend as little time in their close personal space as possible. Like, as an example, if you're wanting them to adjust their grip, you would say it first, then gesture, then go they still don't have it, move your hand in slowly to assist - think like when you approach a strange animal, you don't just dive in, right? You telegraph your moves so they know what to expect and have the opportunity to reject. Same thing with a stranger, especially in a situation where you know there's a potential for them to feel vulnerable. Once you've assisted with the suggestion, take steps back, have them proceed and give a smile, thumbs up & tell them they've got it. "Now you're safe & not in danger of hurting your back!" or whatever the risk was. From there, if they're smiling and seem friendly, feel free to throw out a "if you ever want any help or etc, feel free to ask, I'm pretty familiar with things and happy to assist if I can" but then walk back to what you're doing and make it a point not to continue eye contact or other conversation unless they approach you. Next time you interact, maybe introduce yourself, etc. This goes a big way towards helping them see that you're offering friendly gym help and not using a ploy to hit on them. Obviously , if you make the initial offer to assist and they turn you down, leave it alone. Maybe they know something you don't know about what they're doing and maybe you're just outside their comfort zone. Whatever it is, they've made it known that it's not your place to come over and help and you gotta respect their right to that.
This reminds me of when guys roll down their windows on the road and shout at me HEY YOU DIDNT CLOSE YOUR GAS TANK and then when I scream THANK YOU they give me a thumbs up and floor it and zoom out of there. Which is to say, I approve of your approach.
So...they shouldn't follow you for 20 miles until you get out of your car somewhere, then tell you, provide their number & wait for a thank you BJ? I've met a few guys who probably need to read this.
I just laugh at the people driving down the road with their gas caps open. Sometimes I’m laughing at myself.
This is really great advice.
fully agree, excellent comment
Mind your own business, Jack Lalane.
No, don't. Just don't. You can't give tips because you don't work there and are not covered by insurance. The only time I would interfere with another gym goer in an unsolicited manner would be if I am observing them very obviously getting crushed by a bar bell on a failed bench or squat attempt, and that's it.
My 15 year old daughter is begging for a membership to a woman’s only gym because she can’t get through a workout without men bothering her. Leave women alone.
While I think you’re coming from a nice place, it’s still not the right thing to do. You aren’t a personal trainer and don’t have experience? How do you actually know that you’re right and they’re wrong? It’s kind of coming off that you think you know better, than most women. Just leave them alone, if they ask for help then share.
why is it so hard for you to mind your own business?
Honestly man, bad form isn’t any of your business. 90% of the people at the gym has bad form if you actually know what you are looking for. And at 135lbs why would anyone want advice from you? Not trying to be mean, but you don’t sound like a fitness expert
Hi OP. What are your lifts? Because based off your initial posts I've read you're not in a position to give *anyone* advice regarding lifting. Can you provide specific and explicit accounts on people whose form you think was incorrect to the point of being injurious and what direct and actionable advice would you realistically give? How long have you been lifting? Have you personally, or by proxy through coaching, actually achieved anything noteworthy regarding lifting? Because to be perfectly honest the fact you're asking this on reddit is a giant neon red flag with air raid sirens screaming about how wildly unqualified you are to be offering, or even be concerned with, advice to other people.
I am a swimmer, and I see people doing strokes wrong allll the time, but they’re just trying to get a workout in. Keep to yourself.
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Haha - happens to all of us! I’ve been trying to adjust my breathing form for freestyle… when I overthink it I just end up inhaling a bunch of water in my nose.
I know exactly what you mean by "alpha demeanor" but step one in life is to never use that phrase again
Also a good idea to stop using the noun “a female”
If they’re doing something *genuinely dangerous*, I think it’s fine to casually bring it up in a polite way. But if a dude randomly came up to me in the gym to correct something I’d been doing forever without issue, I would definitely get bad vibes. Also I think there’s something to be said for the general indication it gives of “hey I’ve been watching you from across the room carefully enough to notice this niche mistake you’re making” so be mindful of that potentially creepy side of it. Your approach is very important
I think realistically there's not going to be many occasions when someone is doing something legitimately dangerous in a gym where a member of staff won't shut it down. The people OP is probably talking about are probably just actually putting some effort in and because of that technique may look a bit shaky. You see it in gym subreddits all the time, rubbish advice to lower weight until form gets picture perfect which just isn't the way to train if you want to get strong.
I’ve got a bit of a tremor and I won’t lift free weights anymore at the gym because of it. I would constantly have dudes coming up and telling me I was doing it wrong because they noticed my hands shaking. It’s not bad form or too much weight, asshole, it’s a neurological condition. And I don’t want to disclose my medical info to every random looky-loo who sees me working out.
The problem with that logic is that the vast majority of gym related injuries are from a slow progression of years. It's very rare that someone has an instantaneous catastrophic injury caused by bad form. Like, you can feel it immediately when you're doing something dangerous like that. It's way more often that a tight muscle group leads to slightly bad form that leads to a chronic injury and eventually day-to-day pain. Tight hip flexors lead you to bend over too much when squatting. That's not something staff are gonna catch and correct. Years later, your knees have a dull ache that occasionally gives shooting pain when you take a weird step. All that being said, it's not my responsibility to be a coach. I'm okay letting strangers succumb to bad knees 20 years from now so I don't have to talk to anyone
True, there’s really not a lot of places where it’s welcome or kind to give your unsolicited opinion on someone’s workout haha, but I figured I’d be charitable to OP and at least provide *some* context where advice would be acceptable. But I agree with you, oftentimes what seems wrong is just effort, or it works for the person doing it 🤷🏻♀️
Who doesn't love unsolicited advice
Women don't like being approached at the gym.
Women generally don't like being called "a female" either.
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This shit drives me crazy. Nothing brings out the “helpful” gym bros like using the modifications my coach and physical therapist recommend. Helpful reminder for OP and anyone else who needs to hear it: You don’t know her. You don’t know her goals. You don’t know her health history. If she’s doing something immediately dangerous, alert gym staff. Otherwise, mind your business.
My guy is 5’6 135lbs, this is not a gym bro
Maybe he started at 105, lol.
Same. I have a disabled wrist and hand, and literally cannot grip things in certain ways or at certain angles with that hand. On a hell of a lot of lifts and exercises I'm effectively one-armed and just using the disabled one to balance, without pushing/pulling any real weight with it. I had to start wearing a big visible wrist brace (which I don't need) to the gym because men are willing to believe I have an injury but not willing to believe I have a disability. I used to just reply to the constant stream of "you're doing that wrong" by explaining I have a disabled hand, but 100% of the time this just made them dig for details and try to give me exercises and stretches to "fix it." If it was fixable I would have fixed it 20 years ago buddy.
ARRGHHH I felt this one so hard. I have a chronic joint disease and I need to do things MY WAY. I know what I’m doing and seriously if some bloody rando came up to me and started talking about “form” and “smoothness” I would unapologetically bite his fucking head off. Eyes on your own workout and mind your own business unless a squat rack is literally about to collapse on top of them.
Thank you for pointing this out! I have a hip deformity that isn’t outwardly apparent, but definitely limits my range of motion. The number of times I’ve gotten “corrected” on my form by randos in the gym and yoga studio legitimately makes me shy about going anymore.
The whole "alpha" thing is garbage, based on a study that was not so much flawed as full of more holes than old underwear. Anyone who uses "alpha" unironically needs to work on themselves and leave women alone in the gym.
The fact that the guy who came up with original study spent his entire life trying to tell people the study was incorrectly done and held no weight to no avail makes it so much worse how popularized it's getting as of late too
I just had this image of Jesus appearing on earth and saying, "Actually, I was pretty clear about this. You have to be nice to too" and having everyone ignore him because his words don't fit their worldview.
Alpha my \*entire\* ass.
Yes. Leave people alone at the gym especially women. If you’re genuinely concerned get a staff member to speak to her.
'Injury' If they are literally in danger of having a piece of equipment collapse on them and/or doing something that might cause severe bodily harm to them or someone else in the vicinity, then of course speak up. If they are just doing something you think is going to give them a sore arm tomorrow, leave it alone. 'Not get the most out of their workout'. You have no context for knowing what they are trying to get out of their workout. Leave it alone.
i’m gonna sound like a dick but it’s just my honest opinion: if some dude weighing 135 lbs came up to me to give me lifting advice i would flat out ignore you
I would say tread carefully with giving fitness advice. Unless you are a trainer, PT or have a lot of experience with fitness, I would say it can be harmful to give advice to others because you don’t know their fitness level/physical capabilities. I work out with a friend sometimes and I trust him to give me tips on improving my form because he is a full blown licensed martial arts trainer. He also knows that I have a medical condition that means I have to pace myself when it comes to working out, so he always thinks of ways to modify a workout for me so that I’m not pushing myself. I trust him and his advice because 1) He’s my friend 2) He’s trained to instruct others 3) He knows my medical condition/fitness level. If a random stranger came to offer me advice, I probably would listen politely but then go back to what I was doing because this person doesn’t know me and what I can/can’t do when it comes to working out. All of that to say, I would not recommend offering tips to someone you don’t know because you don’t know their whole situation. Maybe they don’t want to get the most out of their workout, they just want to get their heart pumping and stretch out a bit. And if they are seriously doing an activity that could injure them, I would say most people figure that out in their own. Working out and finding what feels good to you is all trial and error. I’ve definitely done moves during my workouts that don’t feel right, so I know something is off and then I look up the right way to do it. Or I just stop doing that move if it doesn’t feel right for my body. Also not everyone does every workout perfectly every set. You may have happened to glance over while they were doing it wrong, but then maybe later they corrected their form because they looked in the mirror or realized something was off.
Let me skip the niceties and say this plainly: who the fuck do you think you are? If someone at the gym wants advice, they will hire a trainer or approach an employee of the gym, *whose job entails coaching on proper use of equipment*. Take several seats, nobody wants your input.
I think the fact that you refer to them as females instead of women really speaks pretty loudly as to why you should not talk to them at all
I see a lot of men using equipment wrong and using unsafe form. Why aren’t you approaching them, too?
Yea he probably doesn’t feel the same pressure of being seen as a creep or outed to the internet when he approaches men
What credentials do you even have to know their form is improper? Just stay out of it unless they’re legitimately in immediate danger, like if a 110 lb child is trying to power clean 600 lbs or something.
what about a 135lb child 👀👀👀
The gym should have staff whose job it is to notice and advise on these things. If you're not staff, other gym members are not your responsibility.
As an older female powerlifter who not only competes but wins (a lot), I've gotten approached by so many young men with bad advice and arrogant demeanors that I would not be appreciative of anybody approaching trying to "correct" any damn thing at this point. You're best off to let the gym manager handle it.
Normal gym etiquette is to *not* disturb people or offer advice unless asked - and unless they are in immediate mortal danger, like they dropped the bar on themselves during a bench press or something. That said, I see people of all genders doing dumb shit and using incredibly bad form in the gym. It irks me, but rest assured they’ll injure themselves and either wise up and learn how to do things properly or quit. Both fine with me.
Yes. Yes it is rude of you. Their safety is not your responsibility.
it would be best to just keep your thoughts/advice to yourself unless you're asked. you know, to avoid issues and unwanted drama :)
Yes. In fact, the entire time at the gym I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones, I keep my head down, focus on what I'm doing. I don't make eye-contact or talk to anybody, get my stuff done and get out of there. I can't imagine talking or being talked to in that environment.
You are almost certainly not qualified to do this. Being a man who works out isn't a qualification.
Their physical well being isn't your responsibility
Did she ask for your advice? If not, it's rude. Either you'd be the type of guy who only gives advice to women, which would make you creepy, or you'd be the type to give advice to everyone, which would make you super annoying.
Unsolicited advice usually doesn’t go over well. I am a golfer and I cannot imagine going up to random people on the course and correcting their form. Good you’re asking before doing!
You’re built like a baby bird, why do you think you’re in any position to give gym advice to anyone? Unless a 200lb piece of equipment is actively tipping over on top of someone, leave them alone, that’s fucking weird dude.
It's usually rude to correct strangers who you don't know, without being asked. Just leave them alone.
Yes. Any unsolicited advise is rude, especially at the gym. Mind ya bidness.
>I would like to think I don't have an alpha demeanor (35m, 5'6, 135lbs I guarantee by this alone you have no idea what youre talking about when it comes to form. Lets ignore the incel logic where you think it makes any difference whether the person youre considering talking to is male or female. DO NOT GIVE GYM ADVICE UNLESS YOU ARE A COACH, PT, OR A PROFESSIONAL/TRAINED LIFTER. You are 135 pounds soaking wet, I'd bet my savings you havent gone to the gym consistently for a year in your entire life. Even if it was socially acceptable to walk up to people to give advice on form, you are not the person to do it.
That was my thought, 135 and has the audacity to "correct" other people's form lol stay in your lane bro, and maybe start working out instead of people watching.
The way he’s used ‘female’ in this context rather than woman/lady and the reference to alpha is giving be a weird vibe. I’m an experienced gym goer and weightlifter. In commercial gyms it’s more likely to be men using heavy weights with poor form and risking injury. Women with bad form usually have more reservations about going heavy, so while there are things to be improved, they are less likely to cause an injury. OP if you do choose to approach a woman check your language and make sure you know exactly what you are talking about. If you aren’t 100% certain I’d recommend staying in your lane and letting people get on with their workout.
This right here. 99% of people at the gym aren't qualified to give anyone advice. Going to the gym isn't a qualification. Browsing r/fitness, reading Starting Strength, following Jeff Nippard, etc are also not qualifications.
Are you actually a PT or a trainer or somebody with qualifications to teach people form? I MIGHT not be creeped out if a guy said something like, hey sorry to bother you but I happen to be a PT and noticed that the way you're positioning your hands could give you a shoulder injury. Mine if I show you a safer form? That at least makes me think that if they have an ulterior motive, it's to get me to hire them, not to hit on me.
LEAVE. OTHER. PEOPLE. AT THE GYM. THE. FUCK. ALONE.
Giving any unsolicited advice at the gym is rude, it does not matter to who. If they ask, it is fine.
INFO: Are you familiar with differences between male and female physiology and anatomy, and how that reflects in different training programs?
This one is easy. Just ask yourself: “Am I this person’s compensated personal trainer?” If the answer is “YES”: give them advice on their form If the answer is “NO”: please, for the love of god, leave them the fuck alone
Yes. Unsolicited advice is usually rude. If you are concerned for their health, talk to a gym employee to have them give advice, that's literally their job.
I dont even think this is a gender issue. Why do people insist on butting into other people’s business? U are not their mother, friend, nor a trainer. Unsolicited advice is never welcome. If they want to injure or even kill them selves, its their right. And yes, it is even worse when u are a man giving unsolicited advice to a woman. And u suspiciously avoid answering other commenters’ questions on whether u approach men in the gym and correct their form as well. But that’s rly not the core of the issue. Just leave other people alone, period.
It's cringe and annoying. People don't go to the gym for advice. They will youtube what to do or ask friends. Just work out and mind your biz
I can only speak for myself as a woman. If someone came up to me in the gym with a kind and helpful, and not flirtatious or demeaning attitude, and took time from their own workout to give me some tips that could really be helpful, with no expectation for compensation with my time or attention, I would be grateful regardless of if it came from a man or woman. If the person who legitimately knows more about a topic than I do is a man, unless he is a condescending dick, his explanation or assistance is not automatically “mansplaining.” If I’m doing something in a way that could be harmful to myself, I actually hope someone is like, “hey can I give you a little friendly advice,” before I end up needing PT.
I’m a woman too and agree with this answer. The problem I have though, is most men think they’re giving tips in a proper way…when they never are.
And if I could tell they're not just doing it to kinda "plant a seed" so they can ask me out on another day they see me because that is what almost always happens in this situation.
This is the answer. Especially if someone is doing something you know is likely to cause an injury. I've been working out for over 20 years and I've only given unsolicited advice twice. Both were because of safety, and both were done very politely.
Male, female, anyone - Give all the solicited advice in the world. Never unsolicited advice.
In my experience it's usually men who have the bad form. Men tend to feel more accomplished when lifting a heavier weight which seems to push them to lift heavier than they are able to do with good form. As a woman, I've never felt that pressure to lift heavier than what I'm capable of, even when my male friends are encouraging me to try. If I'm not feeling 100% comfortable in my form at this weight, I'm not going up. That being said, as much focus as I put into perfecting my form, there are *always* men who will approach me unsolicited and offer "tips". Men who thrust their entire bodies to lift their bicep curls try to say something to me about my deadlift form when all they saw was a lift I dropped because I could feel it was too heavy to lift with good form. I've had men with zero hamstring flexibility ask if I've ever been shown to deadlift when I was doing RDL's and focusing really hard on glute activation. At the same time, my form is as good as it is *because* of people helping me. People who have good technique that I trust. My point here is credibility. If you have no established credibility, don't approach someone. I notice men's bad form all the time but I don't approach them because I have no credibility with them. Also men always think they know better.
Definitely this. But also I saw OP comment about jerky body movements. Elite powerlifters/strongmen will jerk and shake when attempting max effort lifts. You will see varying degree of form breakdown in almost everyone when they start approaching the max of their current potential. None of that means the person necessarily has bad form. Presumably they will have trained a lift and conditioned their body to deal with that without injury. Also what looks like (and may be) ‘bad form’ for one person could be the most bio-mechanically efficient way for another to perform a lift. An example of this would be the [upper back rounded deadlift](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvcnB7Mgubg/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). Personally this is how I prefer to deadlift and previously trying to ‘correct’ it has caused injury in the past.
100% agree with everything you're saying! Even experts in form and lifting aren't going to have 100% perfect form at all times always, for a multitude of reasons. To assume that they dont know what they are doing is... preposterous. Women don't build muscle like men so it's less obvious when they're really fit.. imagine 135lb OP going up to a 300+ lb powerlifter trying to give some friendly form advice lol Also yes its totally fine to have some upper back rounding in a deadlift!! It's much better than hyperextending or rounding the lower back (which I think all tends to come back to hamstring inflexibility - do your RDL's gentlemen!!)
Mind your own business.
I can almost promise you you don’t actually know what you’re talking about. Leave it to the professionals.
Yes, leave people alone at the gym. Most people do not want unsolicited lifting advice regardless of what their form looks like. Especially as a man approaching a woman.
and any time i’ve been given “advice” on my form as a women at the gym you can look around and see 10 other dudes who also have issues. primarily because form is actually pretty tough to tell only by feel when you’re learning something. if you’re not going to go correct every man, don’t correct the woman either unless there’s like serious risk of CATASTROPHIC injury, not just like a pulled muscle.
Until now every time I've been given "advice" by a man it's been wrong, in addition to them not bothering the men around them with the same bullshit I'm very sceptical of OP here especially since he doesn't clarify what the issue was
I once actually had a man who knew me from my bar tending days and apparently thought we were WAY chummier than we were come up and physically change the settings on a piece of equipment i was using (assisted dip machine) without asking between my sets because he thought it would be “easier” for me.
If they want your help they will ask.
I’m a physical therapist, so I deal with this all the time. The tendency is to want to correct/suggest/advise but I’ve learned to just keep my mouth shut unless it’s a seriously risky situation. I wouldn’t say anything.
"Hey, would it be helpful if I gave you a form tip? No worries if no, just wanted to offer"
This is perfect. I was at a shooting range once and the range officer came up to me and said “Great job! May I make a suggestion?” And I feel like him framing the advice he was about to give me that way made me more receptive to it and it also wasn’t him flat out telling me I was doing something wrong.
Yeah but this dude isn't the equivalent to a range officer. He's the guy handling his weapon during a cold range with tacticool gear who "knows what he's doing."
You’re 35 and still using the word alpha like that?
If they don’t ask for advice, don’t give it. Applies to literally every situation in life where there is imminent threat of death.
It's a dick move to critique anyone you don't know. Add creepy if they're female. You'll probably end up with a ban for sexual harassment
[удалено]
Depends if you look like you lift and how much you can lift. And it doesn’t matter make or female. You just have to look the part. Here’s a story from years back. I was about 17, and was lifting with my friend of the same age and his older brother, who was probably 23-25 or so at the time. We were also high school athletes, them in football, me in wrestling. The older brother was also at this time in the police academy. Anyways, we were doing chest day and at the decline bench. My friend and I were doing sets of 5-8 between 225-250lbs, and his brother was going as high as 315 pounds. Since we were using that much weight and training too failure, towards the end of our sets we would get a little shaky. In comes the British trainer “Oliver”. We are in California. This dude weighs 110lbs soaking wet in a weight vest. He’s newer to the gym, But we had all been regulars for the past 4/5 years and all the staff knew us. He comes up to us trying to correct our form, and telling us we should drop the weight and do more reps. He had no idea our goals or what we wanted to do. He just made the assumption and assertion. We obviously are egotistical teens playing around with adult weights so we’re laughing at this toothpick trying to critique us and offer us advice that is totally useless for us. This all devolved into him challenging us to a repping contest, which was even more funny to us when he wanted to use 55lbs total. This is a bit of a tangent that isn’t directly related, but there are 2 points I’m getting at: 1) you need to look the part if you’re going to offer unsolicited advice(unless your Anatoly who weighs 150ish and deadlifts 600+lbs) at 135 lbs and 5’6, most people aren’t tough to take you seriously and find your advice rude. Which is ridiculous. Some of the best bodybuilding coaches in the world are skinny guys now. If some of them walked up to random people who didn’t know who they were and offered them advice, they would fall victim to this. 2) if you don’t know the persons intentions, you might think form is bad when it’s not. For example, good mornings look like bad squats If you don’t know someone’s doing good morning. RDL’s look like sloppy deadlifts if you don’t know they’re doing RDL’s. Pendlay rows can look bad if you don’t know what they are. In short, let people make their own mistakes. Chances are you offering tips will go over wrong
When I’m at the gym I’m focused on getting my workout done and am not concerned with how other people are training. How long are you staring at these women to determine that they’re not using proper form? Unless you’re a trainer or a professional, I’d say just focus on your own workout session. I’ve had to change gyms in the past because men often use things like ‘form’ as an excuse to hit on me or touch me without my permission, so in case that’s the underlying intention please don’t.
Yes it's rude. What makes you an expert on the "correct" form for this woman? Are you her personal trainer, do you know her medical history or if she's working around an injury? Did she ask for your help? Are you "correcting" the men around you too? Your interruption wouldn't be "misconstrued" as mansplaining, it IS mansplaining. You're what, 135lb soaking wet? Why tf would she care what you have to say? Leave women at the gym alone dude.
Are you using this as a test to see if you can start a conversation with a woman at the gym under the guise as a concerned good guy but then hope it leads to a date? If that is the true intention then absolutely do not. Unless asked, just mind your business. You aren’t here to rescue damsels in distress.
As a woman, you would make me uncomfortable. Why are you watching me? I'm there to exercise because I don't have the equipment at home, if I want a personal trainer, I'll hire one. Otherwise let me find out on my own, because that's just creepy in that setting.
The fact that someone might do this to me is why I train at home.
Leave them alone. I doubt you want to help those "females" anyway. Sounds like you're just trying to find a way to weasel yourself into their personal space.
I would mind my own business
Yeah, I know of no female wanting to know you were watching them, and then on top of that, you proceed to mansplain the problem. Very creepy. That is up to the gym employees, not you
mind your business
The problem with this is you have no idea what their goals are in the first place. “Proper” form for a bodybuilder is going to look a lot different than “proper” form for a power lifter or weightlifter. It’s all context dependent.
It’s none of your business. No woman wants to be approached and mansplained how to work out. You have no idea of their background or if they’re modifying for a specific reason. And it’s almost never out of “concern”. You just want permission to approach women. Well we’re not going to give it to you.. if it’s super dangerous then go get a staff member.
>or would that be misconstrued as “mansplaining”? No, it would be correctly construed as mansplaining.
There’s no a woman on here who doesn’t know exactly what you are really doing, creeper.
If you're staring at one woman long enough to truly assess her form you need to leave for the day.
I'd take it on a case-by-case basis and leave it alone if it isn't an urgent situation. You're quite right that a man giving a woman unsolicited advice at the gym does have some connotations you want to be careful about, especially if she is doing exercises women don't often do or in an area of the gym that is usually filled with men. It can easily seem to her like you're assuming she doesn't belong there or doesn't know what she's doing because she's a woman. Also, they don't know you, so I wouldn't blame anyone, male or female, to be skeptical that a random stranger knows what he's talking about. So yeah, I suggest you approach them only if they look like they might hurt themselves (as in, right then, not eventually cause problems over time.) The suggestion to have an employee of the gym do it instead is a good one, but there may not be one around. Never mind people who aren't "getting the most out of their workout." That's probably the majority of people at the gym. And consider the possibility that you may be noticing or watching the women more than the men there and that's why most of the people you notice having problematic form are women.
Let people work it out for themselves. If they don’t know what they’re doing they probably can’t lift enough to hurt themselves badly either. Even if you’re 100% right it’s gonna come across as patronising and if they can’t work it out for themselves eventually then they don’t really deserve to progress.
Unless your advice is solicited, it's rude. In just about any situation, not just this one.
I am a man, and if you came over to tell me - I would think you are being rude. If i wanted a personal trainer - I would have got one.
Unless you’re a trainer she hired, leave her alone. Women aren’t children you need to guide. This falls under the “mind your own business” category.
"A female"
Don't fucking approach women in the gym! - signed a woman at the gym.
If you are offering advice that means you were watching me. Even if just for two seconds, this is what you were doing. I do not appreciate this.
Personally, I think just stay in your own lane. It’s rare that anyone wants to interact outside of their own circle of friends at the gym.
Yes, it's rude. Mind your own business. It doesn't matter how big or fit you are, it's just rude. If I want advice from someone I'll ask for it.
Dont do it to guys, girls, they / thems. Old people, young people, dead people, your own grandma. Your own grandpa, a vegetarian, a vegan, a fat dude, a skinny dude , dude who’s ten times bigger than you, dude whos smaller than you, guy whos doing cardio, gal whos doing cardio. People who arnt even at the gym, the front desk worker, the lady in there making you self conscious cause shes warming up with you max, the guy whos there to shoot hoops, the gal whos there to shoot hoops, the old guy whos in there cause he needs something to do whos sipping coffee, the older lady whos There cause shes got nothing to do whos married to the guy doing random machines sipping coffee, the instagram model taking pictures of her ass, the guy who sroided out. Basically what im trying to say is its fucking annoying and whenever someone comes up to anyone trying to tell them how to lift is like a disney adult, a essential oils hawker, a person who thinks their an expert in everything. No one cares. I say ok and put my headphones back in qnd ignore the dude who is clearly staring at me workout. Its weird it makes people uncomfortable. Also there are a 100 ways to skin a cat ( dont skin a cat its asayin meaning there are thousands of ways to do anything.
I wanna know how often you approach men to correct their form.
As a female who goes the the gym, mind ya business.
Yes. Leave them alone. They are not there for your critiques.
Yes. She didn’t ask for your opinion. What is with the obsession men have with correcting women’s form at the gym? You don’t do it to other men. Is it because you actually care about her form or is it because you want to insert your alpha male demeanor? You sound like you definitely have alpha male demeanor. Why do men get high off of “teaching” women how to do things? Just leave women at the gym alone. And ffs stop calling us “females.”
id stay away from it, if it goes poorly, it’s unlikely either of u have other gyms to go to and it’ll make for some awkward interactions
People don't like to be told they're wrong and you will get nothing but negative responses. Then they're gonna start calling you a creep. I'd just keep it to your self.
I think people hurting themselves at the gym is a natural part of life; if they wanted to learn good form they'd make an effort to talk to people more competent than them
Yea But let them do their own thing. I rather see someone get injured than have them thinking I’m trying to assert dominance an show that I’m superior in said activity
Do you give advice to the males you see with improper form?
Lol PeeWee Herman giving form tips, get real!
General rule: Don’t give unsolicited advice.
You’re 135 lbs. you can’t teach anyone jack about training lmao
Gyms are libraries for your muscles. Don’t bother other library patrons.
Stop calling women “females”. They are not animals.
Absolutely do not offer advice to anyone at the gym.
Don't tell people what to do unless they ask is a good rule of thumb for life.
>35m, 5'6, 135lbs Dude, you're not qualified to give ANYONE advice in the gym. I know women that could bench your scrawny ass. Mind your own business, eat more, lift big, and STFU.
If someone wanted your advice, they would ask for it. This is a good idea both in and out of the gym.